Category Archives: commentry

Saturday 14th May 2011 – Wonders will never cease

At the football tonight, Biollet St Maurice put two past Pionsat’s 3rd XI tonight as you might expect, but rather astonishingly, Pionsat replied with FIVE (or was it 6? I lost count). That doesn’t happen very often, does it?

Mind you, Pionsat were bolstered by Cedric and Sebastien from the 1st XI, playing their first competitive matches for many, many months following long injuries.

Rusty and short of match fitness they may well have been, but they made something of a small difference to the team. The others on the pitch somehow picked up their game and were doing things that they don’t usually do.

But that’s the difference between “being beaten before they start” and “having loads of encouragement and support from the other two teams”. The first and second XIs ought to help out the 3rd XI whenever they can – something that I’ve been saying for years.

And there’s no football anywhere tomorrow – not even in the Allier. It’s cup final day, so it seems. What am I going to do?

This morning that solar panel guy came to see me, and he stayed for about 5 minutes. That suits me. I have no sympathy for canvassers and cold callers.

This afternoon I went to Commentry for the shopping and apart from the usual stuff I made some puchases for the water filters. Chatting to the guys in Bricomarche they had some fibreglass flyscreen stuff at €7:50 per square metre – much better for making a sand filter than a nylon stocking. The Centrakor came up with a pair of those anti-spatter frying pan covers that will be ideal for cutting down and also some stainess steel conical tea strainers, fine for conical puzzolane-filter housings that I’m building.

The Bonnes Affaires came up with some aluminium mesh gutter covers that they use for keeping leaves out. I can make good use of them too, especially at the reduced rate of €1 for a packet ot 0.8 square metres (I bought three). They also had some big casserole saucepans – 12-litre or thereabouts in aluminium for €9.99. I bought one of them to see if it’s any good for making an enclosed composting toilet.

And remember my posting of a few weeks ago about some interesting or exciting news that might be happening? Well, can tell you something but instead I’ll leave you to stew for a few more days.

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Saturday 16th April 2011 – One thing you have always wondered …

… is “what happens to the shop-soiled and damaged goods that LIDL can’t sell?” I can answer that for here in France – it all goes to “Les Bonnes Affaires” in Commentry. One of my favourite “end of series” shops – it’s had a major makeover and a huge pile of the junk that’s been in there for years has all gone. It’s now packed full of LIDL special offers in damaged, damp or torn packages.

The lady who runs it doesnt have a clue about pricing. Some of the stuff is 3 times as dear as it was when LIDL sold it. But other stuff is for nothing, like the battery-operated LED motion detectors at €2:99 and the 12 Volt LED lights with MR16 fittings (the ones that I use here) at just €2:00 each – I cleaned out the stock of them, I can tell you.

It was a really profitable half hour in there, I can tell you.

So this morning I did some tidying up in here and threw away a load of stuff that I no longer need. And then moved the Sankey trailer and dumped it in the lane (and now watch someone want to come past for the first time in a hundred years) before going off to Commentry for the shopping. Apart from the usual, I bought 6 tomato plants for €2.30 and 3 aubergine plants for €1:90. I hope that I will have better luck with the aubergines and tomatoes than I have had previously. And the LIDL in Commentry has been enlarged – and about time too – it was far too small.

Swimming at Neris was next on the agenda. The water was lovely and a good warm shower finished that off nicely. Back home I gave Lieneke some of my mint cuttings (anyone else want any? I’ve a load) and at 20:00 went to watch Marcillat’s 2nd XI play, seeing as there was no footy at Pionsat this evening.

Franck, the Pionsat team coach, was playing central defence but he couldn’t save them from a right spannering – 6-0 thay went down and they were lucky to get nil as well. They really are awful. Within the opening 30 minutes Marcillat had had to use one of their substitutes and he was booked twice and back in the dressing room. An astonishing performance.

But there’s footy tomorrow afternoon at Pionsat – the 1st XI are playing St Bonnet. Pionsat beat them 4-0 down there and they really do need to run up a cricket score tomorrow to keep their promotion hopes alive. We shall see.

Friday 3rd September 2010 – In a change to the advertised programme ….

…. I had a day off today. Totally unplanned but somehow things just seem to work out that way. But first, just have a look at this picture. And what do you make of it? You might need to enlarge it first.

The giveaway clues are in between the two rails in centre pic and also in the top left corner.

What has happened is that at some time or other some kind of railway conveyance has come off the rails at the points just here and ridden along the sleepers for a long way. And no-one has bothered to repair the damage.

Where I am in fact is at the old Les Ancizes-St Georges de Mons railway station, where I have been for a prowl around this evening. This is on the abandoned railway line between Lapeyrouse and Volvic – the one that crosses over the Viaduc des Fades and which was closed in dramatic fashion a couple of years ago when they “suddenly discovered” that the viaduct was unsafe. But you know me and my conspiracy theories – I reckon that the closure was planned for years and the lack of maintenance along the line merely proves it. And not replacing these clearly-badly-damaged sleepers just adds more fuel to the fire.

So how come I had a day off when it wasn’t planned?

This morning I went to the doctor’s to have my football medical signed off – if I want to play I need a certificate. As it happened, it cost me nothing as all my details of the medical I had for my referee’s test were on file.

So that was good.

Then I decided that seeing as I was in St Eloy I would do my shopping. and LIDL was good too.

I needed some more identity photos so I went to Carrefour where I planned to finish my shopping. But no photo booth!
“We don’t have one” they said.
“So where do people go for their identity photos?”
“The professional photographer” she said – and watched me splutter.
“Anyway” she added “he’s closed until 15:00”
Sod this for a game of soldiers – a 50-mile round trip where I drove to the Intermarche at Commentry – I know that they have one. Mind you, I half-expected it to be closed for lunch or the machine out of order but no – it worked, and that must be a first.

They aren’t have having their money’s worth out of me, running around to collect all this paperwork.

On the way back and passing through Marcillat en Combraille I went to look at a building that I noticed when I was with Liz the other evening. Now is this a former railway station or is it a former railway station? You can even see the platform.

In fact what we here was the terminus of the Ligne Economique, – the narrow-gauge railway that ran between Marcillat en Combraille and Commentry.

Commentry is a steel-making town and there was a huge lime furnace just a mile or so away from here, so it’s no surprise that there was a railway line between the two towns. The station building here is in a direct line with the old lime furnaces, but modern building has obscured whatever track there might have been in between the two.

The narrow gauge track was ploughed up in 1930 when they built the standard gauge line over its track bed, so when the main line service was suspended in 1939, Marcillat en Combraille lost its passenger service completely, even though the rest of the tacot system staggered on into the 1950s

So while I was here in Marcillat en Combraille I went to the local Mairie and the secretary agreed to talk to the people who know, to see what help might be given for my proposed research

At Pionsat I dropped off my forms at the Football Club, only to find that I can’t find the receipt for the referee’s stuff, and I’ll need that if I want the club to pay it. I remember seeing it floating around the van so I picked it up to put somewhere safe. That says it all really.

So after a solar shower I went to St George for my HGV medical, and here’s another doctor who tells me that there is nothing dropping off quite yet. Mind you, he had me doing some funny things like standing on one leg with my eyes closed and all of that. And as I’m after a change of licence and an International licence he gave me my file back and told me to take it myself to Clermont Ferrand on Monday.

On the way back I went for a prowl around the deserted and abandoned railway station at Les Ancizes and took a pile of photos, a couple of of which you have seen above. In his book First and Last Loves” John Betjeman wrote that “Nothing is more empty than a deserted fairground”. But that was because in his day there weren’t any deserted railway stations. He’d change his tune if he were alive today.

And after coffee at Liz and Terry’s I came home just in time for tea at 21:00. And now you see what I mean. Tomorrow I shall have to work to catch up.

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Saturday 14th August 2010 – A good few weeks ago ….

… I went to a talk about the history and one of the items that was discussed was the local railway network. With this area being situated on a coal seam and the existence of coal mines all over the place there was at one time a railway network around here that was much more comprehensive than you would think at first.

And most people immediately think of railways as being standard-gauge – 4’8.5″ with substantial earthworks and the like, and there is a great deal of evidence for that, especially for our famous railway down the hill here that was opened to traffic in 1932 and did’t even last 25 years.

I drive regularly (or I used to when I used to go to Brussels) along a certain road that runs into Montmarault from the Montaigut direction and I’ve been convinced that I’ve seen traces that correspond to what the Ordnance Survey would call “dismantled railway” along the side of the road, although there is nothing on any map that I have ever seen that would confirm anything.

But at this talk one of the items discussed was the railway line that ran from Marcillat en Combraille to Commentry. Now Commentry was a major ironworking centre and Marcillat has the remains of a few huge limekilns and so a line bringing the lime from the fields to the blast furnaces seems like a likely proposition. But the only line here as far as I am aware is the old standard gauge line that used to pass down here and which doesn’t go directly to Commentry.

But further enquiry revealed the existence of the “lignes economiques” – a whole series of narrow-gauge lines that ran on light railway principles with the minimum of earthworks, and the border area between the Allier and the Puy-de-Dome was littered with these lines. Anyone who has seen the the Father Brown film will recall what a “ligne economique” looks like.

The relics that I have seen not too far from Montmarault are in fact part of this light railway system but my attention for the moment has been seized by a narrow-gauge line that used to run from Marcillat to Commentry – and points beyond, as I have discovered. I’ve tracked down a list of the names of stations along the route but a casual look on an Internet satellite viewing program hasn’t come up with anything. That’s a shame – long-time readers will remember that we tracked down a bridge of James Brunlees by spotting it on a satellite viewer.

One place however has crossed my mind as I have crossed it on many occasions. The railway passed through the village of Durdat Larequille somewhere and not too far from there is what looks like a hollow fold in the ground with what might be a bridge over it. And so on my way back from Neris les Bains I stopped for a look.

I’m right about it being an overbridge but if it’s for a narrow-gauge locomotive and train then it would have to be flaming narrow. I couldn’t stand upright in that tunnel under there

There’s no evidence to suggest that the bridge has been infilled to any extent, suggesting that at one time it might have been of larger size, and I can’t see what might have been a track bed of a railway running to and fro underneath it.

I’m reluctantly coming to the conclusion that this may well not be a railway bridge after all, and that’s a disappointment – I had high hopes for this.

Yes – I was in Neris today. The weather is becoming colder and colder and there was no chance of a solar shower and so after shopping in Commentry (which was boring, I have to say) I went off there. 29°C in the water and only 20°C in the baths itself – but that’s because some person had for reasons best known to him-or herself decided to open up the side of the pool. It used to be an open-air pool complete with poolside cafe but it’s now covered with a balloon-type of marquee. And who on earth would want to open it up today in this weather?

But now I’m nice and clean so I’m going to change the bedding and have a good night’s sleep. And I need it too. I didn’t have the alarms on this morning and when the phone rang I crawled over to it and answered “ok Terry – see you in a bit” only to hear a French voice on the other end. Yes, I was totally out of it this morning. I’ll have to do better tomorrow.

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Saturday 17th July 2010 – I’ve not done much today

After having had to work on a Bank Holiday and on the odd Sunday just recently I’ve been taking it easy.

A leisurely morning entering the stats into the computer and then at lunchtime going to Commentry for shopping. Aldi produced s few tins of metal paint to replace the one we used on the caravan chassis a few weeks ago and Centrakor – one of the cheapo shops produced a shower curtain. But as usual the other cheap shop – Les Bonnes Affaires – produced the goods – a huge pile of plastic storage containers at 10 for €1 so I bought 30 of them. And then I can sort out all my nails and screws properly.

Most of the day was miserable and it didn’t lighten up until late afternoon. The water didn’t get hot enough for a solar shower and the electric water heater didn’t click in. But never mind.

But while doing the statistics it was interesting to see the figures of solar energy received for the first day that the automatic heater ran. Bank 1 gave an impressive 153.3 amp-hours and bank 2 gave a record 130.7. So now that I have somewhere to dump all of the electricity then you can see that my system is capable of generating almost 285 amp-hours of electricity – that’s over 3KwH – in a good day. And I’m quite pleased with that. Next task is to put up the remaining wind turbine. That should be even more impressive.

Friday 9th July 2010 – As I have said before ….

… if you are the kind of person who is always in a hurry or rushing around for appointments and the like then you don’t want to be living around here.

Not with leviathans like this roaming around the lanes round here anyway.

I encountered these two beasts on my way back from Commentry. The other side of Ronnet it was, and it wasn’t until we reached the Abbey of Bellaigues that they took the high road and I took the low road. About 6 miles of 25kph with nowhere to pass them. Ahhh well!

This morning I was awoken at 06:04 by a storm – howling winds and all that kind of thing. I was half-expecting torrential rain but when I finally crawled out of my stinking pit (09:40 – I was having a lie-in after my efforts on the roof) there wan’t a trace of anything.I surely can’t have dreamt it all?

So a couple of hours catching up on the computer and then off to Commentry for shopping. And nothing really interesting at all. But even more interesting – I’m trying to set up my water filters and can I elephants find any puzzolane. I asked inter alia at the local builders’ merchants and he had to look up in his catalogue before telling me that he didn’t have any. In case you are wondering what puzzolane is, it’s a certain type of volcanic lava – lightweight, porous and made of carbon and it’s a superb natural water filter.

In the Puy de Dome there are over 80 dormant volcanoes all of which have produced puzzolane, and not for nothing is this region littered with commercialised natural springs – Volvic being the prime example but there are many others. All the ground water is filtered through the natural puzzolane layers. So why can’t I get hold of any?

Back at Pooh Corner, having unloaded Caliburn, I made a desultory start on tidying up. But the weather clouded over and it looked like rain so grabbing hold of a few offcuts and odds-and-ends I’ve rigged up a kind of downspout system for one of my spare 203-litre water butts to catch the rain that might fall on the barn roof.

And badger me if, when I came in and read my messages, that Krys hadn’t written to me to suggest that I think about a way of collecting the rainwater that falls on the roof. Great Minds or Fools, Ms Stephenson?

And now it’s 00:30 – 7 hours after I fixed this downspout – and it’s rumbling away with thunder and flashing away with lightning and not a drop of rain has fallen. All my plants and I could do with a heavy downpour, especially through the night. I can’t wait to see the water cascade off the barn roof and into the water butt.

And another solar shower this evening. That’s 6 consecutive days. I was never this clean when I lived in my apartment in Brussels!

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Saturday 3rd July 2010 – Today was really decided for me.

You may remember that last night I was undecided about what to do today and so while musing over the problem with a coffee this morning, the phone rang. Nada had been wanting to come round and see Pooh Corner for a while and could she come this afternoon?

I told her to come this evening instead and I legged it into Commentry where I bought all of the stuff I needed to finish off the guttering, the stuff I needed to make the puzzolane water filter (except the puzzolane), a pile of stuff from the cheapo shop (including a load of those clip-together storage bins at €1 for 3) and then back here and a quick tidy up.

While the tidying up was in progress we had a huge thunderstorm that presented us with 5mm of rain and flattened my potatoes (but at least it soaked all of the plants which is a good thing) and then Nada came round for her visit.

This evening was the annual walk around Virlet to get to know the commune and Nada came with me for the walk – it turns out that she knows the Mayor’s wife. Going for a tramp in the woods was out of the question due to the thunderstorm and the fact that we wouldn’t have caught him anyway

Instead, we visited the highlights of the village – namely the church that blew down in the hurricane in 1999, the old house that is on the point of falling down, and the cemetery which is of course right in the dead centre of the village.

Virlet is of course a very healthy village – so much so that they employ a man to go round the cemetery at closing time to tell the deceased to go back to sleep. It’s a huge cemetery for such a small village and an American tourist said “do people die here often then?”
The cemetery keeper replied “no – just the once like everywhere else”
The wall is quite high too and our American visitor wanted to know why they bothered to put a wall around it. The keeper replied that it was because people were dying to get in.
And I was impressed with the cemetery keeper. He told me that his job carried a great deal of responsibility – he had 500 people under him.
One thing that he did try to tell me was to reserve my plot. There were no English people buried in there (not that I am English but let’s not spoil this story by introducing facts into it). He did say that there was a Scots grave in the cemetery. So I wandered off to have a look, and there it was – “Here lies Jock MacTavish, a loyal father and a devoted husband”. Now isn’t that just like the Scots to bury three men in one grave?

One of the issues with burials here is the cost – it isn’t cheap. You can now get burials done on the instalment plan – they bury your left arm the first month, the right arm the second month et cetera. And I did ask the keeper what happens if you miss an instalment. “Well”, he replied “we simply dig them up”.

On leaving the cemetery this old guy was struggling his best to catch up with us.
“How old are you?” asked the cemetery keeper
“I’m 102 years old” he replied
“Well, it’s hardly worth your while going home then, is it?”

Because of the inclement weather, they decided to abandon the idea of lighting up the bonfire. Instead, we all went into the village hall for drinks and cakes and to have a good chat. It’s just a shame that there weren’t more of us.

You can’t have a village fête without inviting Strawberry Moose. He is very popular and took advantage of the occasion to have a photo opportunity with some more new friends. He’s always up for that.

A little later we decided that regardless of the weather we would indeed all go outside and have a go at lighting the bonfire after all. Perhaps the wine played something of a part in this decision.

I tried to encourage the deputy mayoress to play the leading role in my new production of “Joan of Arc” but she wasn’t having it. Shame. Everyone else thought that it would be a good idea.

We had a good time talking and telling jokes, all that kind of thing. It really was a nice friendly gathering and represents the best of French village life – something that you probably won’t understand if you have never taken part in it. And at midnight, with dogs and children all long-since asleep we all called it a night.

Tomorrow I’m going to have to make up for this by painting the wood for next week and doing the gutttering. I shall have to get my finger out.

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Saturday 12th June 2010 – Long Distance Runaround

Well … errr … Yes. No wonder I’m feeling Fragile “That’s quite enough of that” – ed.

And I bet you never ever imagined that there would be a steam locomotive involved in today’s rubbish either. Especially not a North American “Mikado” 2-8-2, but nevertheless, here you are.

And in case you are wondering all about it, I’ll tell you more of this anon.

Just for a change for a Saturday I woke up early “lucky Early” – ed and after breakfast I went to fetch the two spare wheels for the caravans.

And I know that they are here in my barn. I remember very well having a blow-out on each of the two caravans when I brought them down here and changing the wheels at the side of the road. And I know exactly where I put the wheels with flat tyres when I arrived here too.

But the way things are around here, if they aren’t in their proper place then I’m well and truly snookered.

In the end I turned over the four piles of tyres but they weren’t in any of them and that has really got me puzzled now. But no matter – off to Liz and Terry’s to get the two off the trailer. And I really didn’t want to do that as I need those two to stay inflated so that I can move the other caravan chassis around but it really can’t be helped.

The trailer wasn’t there of course, it was out on a chantier with the scaffolding and so I had to go around there to liberate the wheels.

This chantier is taking place at the old railway house at the Viaduc des Fades, about which I have written a great deal in the past and there’s an excellent view of the Viaduc from there. As you might expect, his calls for a photo.

So having liberated the wheels, it was off to Commentry to the tyre place. And it was indeed the guy who I had met at the autocross back in 2008 and who reckons he can source all kinds of unusual tyres. So having posed the question, he replied “well, I’ve switched the computer off now. Come back Monday afternoon and I’ll order them. We might have them by Tuesday night”.

But Tuesday morning the tractor needs to be on site so that’s no good. Off to St Eloy les Mines to the new tyre place. And the only 13-inch tyres that he had were “reinforced” – not even “commercial van”. And there he was, insisting that they would be good enough. I don’t like the guy at that place and I never did and I’m not putting any old tyres on that trailer just for the sake of it.

So off to Pionsat to referee this challenge match. And the pitch all overgrown and full of weeds and two players practising their golf on it.
“When’s this match taking place then?”
“September” Matthieu replied.

Ahhh well.

But in for a penny, in for a pound. I had an unexpected couple of hours of freedom and an urgent task to undertake so I went chaud-pied to Montlucon to the tyre place at the back of Carrefour – he who had done me proud with tyres for Caliburn in December.
“What’s it for?” he asked
“A caravan chassis that I’ve converted into a trailer for carrying heavy loads. The existing tyres just collapsed under the load”
“What kind of load will it be carrying? A tonne?”
“At the very least” I replied

So a rummage down at the back of his storeroom produced three 10-ply steel radial commercial van tyres. “These will do you fine” he replied.

Downside is that I can’t have them fitted until Monday as he is full to the brim. But that gives us Monday afternoon to play about with them.

He is also having a sale on tyres for Caliburn – buy two and get the second half-price. And I need two to go on the front as I don’t want to wear out my snow tyres. These will set me back €216 which is a far cry from the €272 that I was quoted back in December. All of this is working out expensive.

So then I realised that I hadn’t done all my shopping (I’d bumped into Bill in Carrefour and while we were waiting for the tyre place in St Eloy les Mines to open, we went for a coffee) so off I popped to the Intermarche at the back of LIDL.

The parking borders on to the railway line and there was a crowd of people gathered around the fence peering through it. It seems that it’s some kind of Open Day at the railway roundhouse and there were several old and interesting objects on view.

One of the things that caught my eye was this delightful rotary snowplough. It’s not a patch on the rotary snowplough that I saw at Chama in the Rocky Mountains in 2002 of course, but it’s quite impressive for around here.

France’s railway – the SNCF, or Société Nationale des Chemins-de-Fer Français – underwent a huge modernisation programme in the 1950s and 1960s just the same as most Western countries. Steam locomotives were retired from service and diesels took over.

Everyone who travelled around France in the 1960s and 1970s will remember the typical red-and-cream diesel multiple-units and railcars that replaced the steam shuttles and it was nice to see a couple of them on display here.

Pride of place, however, has to go to the Mikado. It’s a 2-8-2 in Anglophone notification, although the French, who count the axles not the wheels, would call it a 1-4-1.

It’s one of the R class – number 420 in fact, and was built by Baldwins in the USA just after the war as part of the “Marshall Plan” to re-equip the European rail network after the ravages of World War II. France ordered 1340 of these (to give you an idea of how much of the French railway network was destroyed during the war) but only received 1323.

The other 17 are lying at the bottom of the sea off the coast of Newfoundland, due to the ship that was transporting them – the Belpamela from Norway, sinking in a heavy storm on April 11, 1947.

The type remained in service with the SNCF until as late as October 19th 1975 when R.1187 performed its last duty.

R.420 had been stored by the SNCF but was put up for sale in June 1976. Luckily it fell into the hands of a preservation group in Clermont Ferrand.

It is one of the 12 survivors of the class, although the fate of three of these is hanging in the balance since the company that was restoring them went bankrupt.

It underwent a full restoration and was passed fit for rail service in March 1982. Today, it’s the equivalent of the British “Flying Scotsman”, performing steam excursions.

As an interesting aside, in July 1987 the locomotive was officially classed as a French Historic Monument.

Tonight was the cheerleaders or majorettes competition in St Eloy les Mines and I was planning on attending. Piles of girls in skimpy costumes chucking sticks about and sometimes even catching them – but after today’s exertions I don’t think that I could stand the strain.

I hope Terry is grateful for all the sacrifices that I’m making on his behalf so that we can get his show on the road! Missing out on a display of girls in skimpy clothing is not something I would do lightly.

And in other more depressing news, here, in the comfort and safety of my own attic, I have been flaming well stung on the leg by a perishing blasted wasp!

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Saturday 22nd May 2010 – I took the plunge this afternoon …

… and went swimming in Neris les Bains. For the first time ever it was warm in there – an air temperature of 26 degrees – so of course they left all of the doors open so a draught of air was blowing around. That won’t half cool down a wet body.

Just the usual suspects of course – no swimming galas or races or anything so it was something of a let-down but at least I’m now clean (in body, anyway).

So this morning I heard all of the alarms go off but badger that – I went back to sleep. I woke up … errr … some time later. So after breakfast and doing some work up here until 13:30 I went off to Commentry. Nothing exciting in LIDL or ALDI or the Intermarche either. Centrakor turned up trumps with a pair of plastic flip-flops for 2 Euros. Just the thing for wandering around swimming baths and muddy football dressing rooms. In Les Bonnes Affaires, the cheap shop, I spent 10 Euros, much of which went on interesting items of food but they did have a plastic stopwatch in there – good value for 2 Euros. I don’t wear a watch but I’ll need something for when I’m refereeing. That’s something useful.

On the weather side the Heat Exchanger recorded 63.9 degrees, the highest total this year and the highest since August 29 last year. In my room the temperature is currently 24.6 degrees – and at 01:30 too! It touched 26.4 degrees during the course of the day and that’s the highest since 9th September. The weather is certainly looking a lot more like it.

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Saturday 10th April 2010 – It’s Saturday again.

Where did the week go? I’m organising Monday night’s meeting of the Anglo French Group and it seems like only yesterday that it was last Monday night.

And so why do I need to organise the meeting? Well, we are all going to be famous. French TV has heard about our radio show and is coming to interview us on Monday early evening. They also want to have a nosey at the Anglo-French Group and have a chat with them.

Well well well!

So today seeing as there was only one footy match this evening – at 20:00 – it was “shopping in Commentry”, and I had quite a good day. Apart from the usual stuff they had good quality spades on sale in ALDI (I have a garden fork and a shovel of this brand) so I bought one to replace the spade that was broken. I’ve been using the Deputy Spade for the last few days but it’s nothing like as good.

I was also doorstepped on the carpark of the ALDI by someone who wanted to talk about solar panels. A man who has lived 20 years in France and can’t speak French! I asked him if he was planning to learn and he said that he couldn’t be bothered. It really beggars belief – all these Brits that moan like hell about foreigners who come to the UK and won’t speak English and insist on native-language help in British Government offices. They ought to come over here and look at some of the Brits – they won’t moan about them, I bet. Yes, there are even plans to have English-language assistance in some of the French town halls.

Not that I’m all that bothered about it but it’s the people who need the English language help over here that are the ones that moan about the foreigners needing native language assistance back in the UK. The irony goes totally over their head.

While I’m in “rant mode” – remember the other day that I was talking about dealing with some people by the employment of a pickaxe handle? Well, it just so happened that at the Bricomarche they had some pickaxe handles on sale and seeing as I didn’t have one in Caliburn I treated myself. Now let someone argue with me. Never mind the baseball bat – I’m not into globalisation and a good old pickaxe handle as used by generations of British tea leaves will be just fine.

Glorious hot day too, and nice and warm in the swimming baths at Neris but no swimming races or swimming galas. I was quite disappointed. But I wasn’t feeling down – there wasn’t any need to seeing as we didn’t have the pleasure of their company.

-1

Saturday 27th March 2010 – You have to feel sorry …

… for Pionsat’s 3rd XI. Struggling near the foot of the table and desperate for points they were leading 2-1 tonight against the league leaders and playing like lions until not one but TWO wicked deflections robbed them of glory.

When your luck is down it is really down.

And it was flaming cold on the terraces tonight. Winter has returned, so it seems. Horrible grey overcast windy with driving rain. I couldn’t be bothered to get up this morning when the alarm went – I just wasn’t in the mood and it was 10:40 I when finally crawled out of my heaving pit.

After a leisurely breakfast I wandered off to Commentry to do the shopping and had an excellent day in the Bargain Shop. Apart from the usual mundane nonsense and cheap food products I bought a blackboard for €3.50 and some chalk for 20 centimes, a mobile kind of table thingy, two levels and on wheels, for €2:00 and a little tiny rucksack thingy for €1 which, lined with an old foam gym mat that I have lying around, will make an excellent camera bag.

After that it was off to Neris-les-Bains for my swim and shower. Yes, two showers in a week and we aren’t talking OUSA here either. I’ll be washing myself away here.

But while I was in the swim all of a sudden about 30 young teenage girls wearing tight-fitting swimming costumes burst onto the scene. There was to be some kind of swimming tournament after the pool closed to the public. And as the girls were doing their exercises, rhythmically stretching their lithe and supple muscles, I didn’t know where to look
… “Ohhh yes you did” – ed …
“I mean I had too much choice of where to look. 3 or 4 would have been sufficient”
But really, it isn’t fair. I’m not young any more and I can’t cope with things like this. My heart can’t take the pressure any more.

But it goes to show that I’m still quite capable of chasing after the women. I just hope that if ever I catch one I can remember what to do with her. And if I do remember what to do with one, I just hope that I will last long enough to be able to do it.

-8

Saturday 16th January 2010 – I dunno where this morning went.

The alarm went off as usual and I lay semi-somnolent in bed for a while waiting for the second call. And it became apparent that I wasn’t going to get a second call – when I looked at the clock closely it was 09:54. I must have slept through the first call and heard the second one.

But that wasn’t the best of it. Something had clearly happened through the night such as the clock switching itself off and back on. And it’s a radio-controlled clock so it sets its own time but for some reason its time zone is set to GMT-2 so it was in actual fact 10:54.

So I steam-cleaned part of the kitchen (and it needed it) and then went off to Commentry for shopping. There was absolutely nothing of interest although I did create some mild amusement in one of the shops. The cashier gave my €20 note a thorough inspection before accepting it, so I couldn’t resist the temptation.
“It is ok?” I asked
“yes, it’s fine” she replied.
“Good. I’ll make some more like that tonight“.
But as Alfred Hitchcock once said to Kenneth Williams, “it’s a total waste of time telling jokes to foreigners!”

After that it was off to Neris and the swimming baths. And don’t know why I bothered. They’ve had a price increase and it’s now €3:00 to go in. Water at 30 degrees and the interior at 17 degrees. They should have specified that it was fahrenheit and not centigrade though – I froze in there.

And now I’m clean I’ll change the bedding and my nightie tonight. Yes, I change my sheets and pillowcases once a year – whether they need it or not.

-3

Saturday 21st November 2009 – I’m currently lying down in a darkened room.

I’ve just seen a hastily-assembled scratch Pionsat XI win 6-1 in a cup match. When I arrived there they had just 10 players and then another two turned up just before the kick-off. Michael, the 2nd XI goalkeeper who had turned up to watch the match was pressed into service as an outfield player and about 10 minutes after kick-off Jerome, the 3rd XI left-back rushed into the ground, into the dressing room and rushed out again in a substitute’s outfit.

So a mixture of players from the 1st, 2nd and 3rd XI took on a big hefty physical side and thoroughly thrashed them. It’s a long time since I’ve seen them do that.

This morning I had something of a lie in – I heard the alarm but slept though the repeats and dreamt about me owning a horse and riding it around the Anglo-Welsh border and looking for a place to stable it while I boarded the steam train at Llanfair Caereinion to travel to Worcester. I’ve had a few memorable dreams recently so my sleep rhythms must be improving.

7 or 8 years ago I was one of the guinea pigs in a research programme concerning dreams. We were taught how to dream and then we had to condition ourselves to wake up as we came out of a dream in order to dictate it onto a dictaphone to be transcribed later. It was a fascinating project and looking back on my dreams (I have a huge file of dreams) I can see various patterns that emerged.

The theory behind this project was that someone was convinced that we only have 7 or 8 long-running dreams and that when we dream we dream “episodes” of one of the long-running dreams. And I can see the point that he was making when I examined them.

In Commentry I had a good wander around the shops but didn’t buy anything other than the regular purchases. And afterwards I went for a swim. I was there for an hour and felt so much better afterwards but the warm shower was the nicest part of it.

Now that I am properly clean I’m going to change the bedding tonight and have some clean stuff. I’m looking forward to that.

-6

Saturday 26th September 2009 – YOU MISSED …

… all of the excitement tonight.

Freezing cold autumn weather, a Pionsat win and a draw, debatable referee-ing decisions, a series of mysterious yellow cards flashed at no-one in particular, and for the first time ever, a referee losing his temper in the middle of a match.

And if that wasn’t enough to be going on with, we had a whole raft of hotly-disputed decisions, a couple of fierce arguments, a punch-up, one of the best goals I’ve seen for ages and a couple of errors that schoolboys would be embarrassed to make.

Yes, we have exciting times out here in the wilderness of rural France. It’s much more fun than watching Manure Knighted on the box.

This morning I went into Commentry and didn’t I have a lucky find in one of the crud shops? Remember yesterday when I dropped my tape player down two storeys in the house? well they were selling a portable bicycle accessory tape player with built-in stereo speakers for 5 euros. It works with an external 6v DC socket too. Can’t be bad at that price. I can’t wait to try it out.

Back home later this afternoon, I did another load of washing. I need to get up-do-date before winter. The cold even now is starting to threaten.

And no footy tomorrow. What on earth am I going to do?

-5

Saturday 22nd August 2009 – THIS IS ABSOLUTELY ASTONISHING!

The solar panels on the roof of the Luton Transit that feed the power to the barn (and originally to here with some very dodgy wiring) have been there since August 2007 and the most solar energy that they have ever received is 90.8 amp-hours, back on 22 April 2009.

Bearing in mind that fact that was some 2 months before the optimal date for capturing solar energy, you would expect that figure to be broken some time in midsummer but as yet it’s not quite managed it.

By contrast, the 3 panels on the roof of the house that are currently wired in capture a theoretical 21 watts more and although they are not angled optimally into the sun, they are situated in a much better location for catching the sun, so I had high hopes for these panels. But not 120.6 amp-hours worth.

That’s a pretty astonishing figure from just 390 watts, and with another 390 watts to come from the second bank of panels, you can understand why I’m optimistic about this set-up if I can generate these kinds of figures. This would represent just under 3KwH of electricity (1 KwH is about 88 amp-hours or so) being generated today on both banks of panels.

This morning I was awake long before the alarm went off and spent the morning tidying up, sowing some lettuce seed into a container in the verandah and rescuing some oregano and mint (with not having the time to do any gardening just now the whole place is going to pot!).

Lunchtime saw me in St Eloy shopping (or trying to shop if there was anything to buy – the place is rapidly going downhill) and when the DiY shop opened I went to get my polystyrene sheets for the battery box.
“We don’t carry that” said the owner. “You need to go to the builders’ merchants”
“Ok” I replied, heading for the door
“But it’s a waste of time going now. They are closed!”
This blasted country gets me down at times. The concept of customer service is getting to be as bad as the UK’s. Builders’ merchants closed on Saturdays when everyone has the weekend to do DiY, hotels that close for the summer holidays when they should be open for summer holidaymakers, restaurants “closed for lunch” (I’ve seen that!). No perishing idea.

If someone were to open a decent DiY in St Eloy they would clean up. And if Screwfix or Toolstation got their acts together and started to operate here they too would hit the jackpot.

So I piddled off the 40km to Commentry and the Bricomarche. Not only were they open (and that’s a surprise) and not only did they have my polystyrene (and what a price too! I needed oxygen after that!), they also had the missing bits for the guttering as well as the bits that I need to make a sump in my rainwater collection plan.

So …gulp … 68 Euros the lighter, I returned home, fitted the sump into the rainwater collection circuit (I’ll post a pic of it one of these days) and fitted the polystyrene into the battery box.

I put the other 6 batteries in there and I’ll remove away from the front door the 4 I’m currently using, and put them in the box. But that’s for tomorrow.

And while I was sitting drinking a coffee, an old beat-up little white Citroen pulled up at the back of the house. A couple had a look at the back of the house, had a good chat and then drove away. I wonder what that’s all about.

I suppose I’ll soon find out. But it’s been all go today, hasn’t it?

-4

EPIC HALL

The Poisoned Pen (or Poisoned Chalice, more like) – or my relentless struggle against reality

Category Archives: commentry

Saturday 14th May 2011 – Wonders will never cease

Saturday 16th April 2011 – One thing you have always wondered …

Friday 3rd September 2010 – In a change to the advertised programme ….

Saturday 14th August 2010 – A good few weeks ago ….

Saturday 17th July 2010 – I’ve not done much today

Friday 9th July 2010 – As I have said before ….

Saturday 3rd July 2010 – Today was really decided for me.

Saturday 12th June 2010 – Long Distance Runaround

Saturday 22nd May 2010 – I took the plunge this afternoon …

Saturday 10th April 2010 – It’s Saturday again.

Saturday 27th March 2010 – You have to feel sorry …

Saturday 16th January 2010 – I dunno where this morning went.

Saturday 21st November 2009 – I’m currently lying down in a darkened room.

Saturday 26th September 2009 – YOU MISSED …

Saturday 22nd August 2009 – THIS IS ABSOLUTELY ASTONISHING!

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