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LIVE: Sunday 13th September 2026 – AFTER YESTERDAY’S SHENANIGANS …

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… we returned to something rather resembling routine this morning.

Yesterday, I mentioned that I was up and about, writing my notes, at 04:01 this morning. and it didn’t take me too long to finish them either. I was back in bed for 05:10 and there I lay, dead to the World.

It was Isabelle the Nurse who awoke me when she came in at about 08:30. She sorted out my legs and feet and I told her my tale of woe from yesterday. She sympathised but didn’t offer any practical advice or solutions.

After she cleared off, my friend brought me a mug of coffee in bed, which was lovely, but I fell asleep again, and when I awoke, it was stone cold so I must have been asleep for a long time.

When I finally went into the kitchen, the place was as deserted as the Marie Celeste. I reckon that the Hound of the Baskervilles had dragged his master off for walkies again. So I made my breakfast and read some of THE REPORT OF THE WOOLHOPE NATURALISTS CLUB 1870.

This morning, we were reading a report on Goodrich Castle, so naturally, I was off on a research trip all of my own, just as I used to do in university.

Back in here later, I had a few things to do and then I began to transcribe the dictaphone notes.

It was a famous footballer’s birthday, like, I dunno, someone from the 1930s, and there was a huge party taking on. There were hundreds of footballers there and loads of spectators. Everyone was hunting around for this guy or for some sign of his life, like an old football strip in order to carry on the celebrations with him. I’d told his club, which was Stoke City, that I was intent on capturing him for his money value, but they couldn’t see where he was in that time. In the end, we just had this huge party all the way through the streets of Stoke on Trent, and everyone was totally plastered. I was in Crewe, but I joined the party in Crewe and we had to circulate home one by one on the bus. It was going to take absolutely hours for this, and people were asking us who we were and if we’d seen so-and-so. It seemed as if we were going to be there all night handling this other footballer’s dreams.

A famous footballer from Stoke City could only ever be that Manly Statues guy. Apart from him, the only other player who could ever approach anything near his fame would be Gordon Banks.

But it’s a strange dream, this one, because I have never before ever been interested in what the Clayheads have been doing.

Later on …

… Nerina and I were going to New York for a long weekend, and some of our family decided that they’d go too … indistinct … fell asleep here …

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that Nerina and I WENT TO NEW YORK A FEW DAYS AGO on a voyage, so this must be in the throes of becoming a regular occurrence.

And some of our family deciding to accompany us would be the kiss of death on a trip like this, too, so it’s just as well that I fell asleep again before it all went out-of-hand.

In fact, when I arose from the bed earlier, I’d found the dictaphone on the floor down by the bed, still switched on, still recording.

Interestingly, it contained not only me snoring and coughing, but also Isabelle the Nurse coming into the apartment, and the first thing that she said was "Bonjour, the Hound of the Baskervilles!" – nothing at all to my friend and me. And her last words were, inevitably, "au revoir, the Hound of the Baskervilles!"

After the dictaphone, there was football – the match in the Scottish fourth tier between Stranraer and Dumbarton. Stranraer went a goal down in the first half, and then an astonishing change of fortune enabled them to play like I have never seen them play before, and they scored a runaway three goals. Wouldn’t it be nice if Y Flint could ever have a change of fortune like that?

Once I’d finished all that, I went for a disgusting drink and the midday medication, and then I came back in here to begin to write the sixth chapter of my book.

However, by 14:00 I once more had a thirst that you could photograph, so in a wild break from the usual traditions, I had a beer – one of my “Kronenburg” alcohol-free ones – and it was delicious, straight out of the fridge, and I’ll buy some more of these next time, sales or no sales.

Back in here, I finished off Chapter Six, and at least, my chatbot likes it, which is good news. He’s currently my proofreader and keeps a check on spelling, punctuation and continuity. However, I really want a “real reader” to read it and to tell me if she likes the book and what she thinks, so that I know whether I’m on the right lines or whether I’m wasting my time.

It can’t be an adult, though, because adults won’t understand it and they’ll probably say that it’s boring and repetitive. It needs to be a girl of the same age bracket as our heroine – namely the 9-12 age group – and preferably brought up in a British environment. Volunteers (or their parents) please form a queue on the right. The story is effectively a modern-day fairy-tale.

Seriously, though, if anyone can conjure up such a person as part of their tribe, there’s a “contact me” button on the lower right of your screen.

Round about 16:15. I knocked off and went into the kitchen to do some baking, and by the time that I finished, I had a rather bizarre-shaped loaf and a really good pizza. I didn’t fancy the pizza myself but my friend tells me that it’s delicious.

So now, I’ll finish off my notes, do a few other things that need doing and then go to bed. If I can have an early night and a good sleep, I’ll be more than happy.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about fairy tales … "well, one of us has" – ed … there was an obvious story that I could tell, but this isn’t 1967 so it would go down today like a Led Zeppelin. Instead, I’ll tell the story that once upon a time, a little girl asked me if all fairy tales began with "Once upon a time".
"Of course not" I replied. "Most of them begin with ‘if I am elected, I promise’ … "

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LIVE: Thursday 10th September 2026 – ANOTHER FINE DAY …

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… at dialysis, I don’t think. In actual fact, we were back in the bad old days of everything when I didn’t really feel like anything at all.

It really was quite late last night when I went to bed again, long after midnight. I don’t seem to be able to concentrate on anything right now, not even to stay awake. Once in bed, I was asleep quite quickly, which makes something of a change, and although there was much less than six hours left to sleep, I was still looking forward to a decent sleep for a change, seeing how absolutely whacked I was.

However, it wasn’t to be. Around 04:00 I awoke, and that was effectively that for the rest of the night. However, when the alarm went off, I didn’t know where I was … "so what’s new?" – ed … and I ended up pushing my pillow, the telephone and one of two other things out of the bed. It seems that I was lying transversally in the bed instead of longitudinally. It was only a miracle that I hadn’t fallen out myself.

Once I was sitting on the edge of the bed and dressing, I realised how awful I was feeling. I was freezing cold too, and that’s always a bad sign. But I made it over to the chair at the computer, and the first thing that I did was to listen to the dictaphone to find out. And I was surprised by just how far I had gone, even if it was only around Marcey-les-Grèves.

Last night, I was out with the taxi company with the guy who thinks he owns the show who was driving me. He told me that a couple of days ago that some car had missed the roundabouts at Ponts and had gone hurtling straight through the door of someone who was living there. A couple of drivers of the taxi company had seen it and they were absolutely horrified by the accident because there were at least two or three dead in different places around here. However, the taxi company couldn’t find the time for them to be off and recover. It seemed that one of the young drivers of the company had missed the turn. She’d got round but … fell asleep here …

This is the kind of accident that really is horrific when you see it, especially if the car crashes into a building and brings the wall down. However, I don’t think that the taxi company would refuse sick leave to someone who has witnessed a sight quite like that.

Then later on, I was out with him again, the same guy. We were talking about the road from Ponts up to the ring road. It was taking sometimes two days to come down there. I enquired as to why they wouldn’t go through Marcey-les-Grèves. He explained that that was closed because of the roadworks. So we went to have a look at the closed road and the roadworks, and we saw that nothing had actually taken place … fell asleep here …

Why am I falling asleep so often when I’m dictating my dreams? But the story of roads being closed while there is no work going on is nothing whatever new around here. It happens all the time.

So I was giving my instructions or advice to the driver about which ways to go and when to come, etc. I pointed out a road with a 30 kph speed limit and said that it might be possible to go down there from Marcey-les-Grèves to come out at Ponts without too much trouble. He thought that maybe they would if they could and if they knew about it. I told him that it was his job to make sure that they all knew about it and maybe he should take a run down there himself to make sure that it was all in good condition and possible to go past.

That’s a road down which I’ve been taken on several occasions when we’ve come into Marcey-les-Grèves and found the roundabout at the motorway ring road blocked. And it’s always worked quite well. But as he considers himself to be the boss, he should be the one doing the investigating and reporting.

Did I mention something about the girls who drove for the taxi company? I mentioned too that it was possible for people to be stuck in a rut and not want to enjoy the fruits of the captivity that they had made.

This is a meaningless dream, I suppose, although, just like me, who has had almost all of his pleasures curtailed, I have to make the best of what I have. There’s no point in crying about it.

There was also something about the taxi company having to move their operation at Marcey-les-Grèves because there were plans to extend the ring road. Everyone was dismayed because they thought that the company would have to close down, but I was sure that they would find somewhere else from where to operate. And as it happened, the company announced a few days later that they had taken over the Opel dealership in the town, presumably meaning that the taxis and ambulances would be operating from there.

There actually is a proposal to extend the ring road, but from what I’ve seen, it will pass about 400 yards from the taxi head office. But it’s always a fear, nevertheless, and the idea that the company might take over a car dealership is not necessarily a strange one. They seem to be in “acquisition mode” at the moment.

When I heard movement in the kitchen, I went to investigate, and there was indeed the sight of coffee being made. I dashed off for a ride on the porcelain horse and then went into the dining area for a lovely coffee and chat with my friend.

Isabelle the Nurse turned up as usual, and the Hound of the Baskervilles, who didn’t bark at all, offered her his paw and then allowed her to scratch his belly.

When she found the time, she came over to sort my legs and feet and then spent another five minutes saying goodbye to His Nibs.

That was the cue for both the Hound of the Baskervilles and me to have our breakfasts, although I had to make mine first, of course. The plan was that His Nibs was going to drag his master off for a walk afterwards, so I explained to them not to expect them to find me up when they come back. I’d put a fleece on earlier, but I was still freezing cold, uncomfortable and tired, so I was going back to bed for a bit.

And I did go back to bed too, fully clothed, even down to my slippers.

It was 11:15 when I awoke, so I went and did a few bits and pieces, and at 11:45, went off for a stroll on the parapet. Back in the kitchen later, my friend nipped off to the café at the back for lunch. I sorted out a disgusting drink and the midday medication and began to prepare my ruckack. When Auntie Cleaner came in, she made a fuss of the Hound of the Baskervilles and then began to deal with me. By the time that I was sorted out, my friend was back, and we waited for the taxi, and I made a fool of myself thinking that a sound effect on his ‘phone was the doorbell.

The driver who came to pick me up was the young, chatty girl who likes home-made pizza. We had a good chat all the way to the aqua-gym at St. Pair, and then the usual “Thursday lady” joined in all the way to Avranches.

They dropped me off first, and I went into one of the wards, a little two-bedded one at the back of another, where a new patient was being plugged in. When they weighed me, I was the lightest that I have been for a while after a pause of three days. I don’t know how.

Before they plugged me in, I gave them my “orange bottle” that I remembered to take. They weren’t impressed with the quantity and, to be honest, neither was I. I really do wish that I could have persuaded the Hound of the Baskervilles to make a donation.

After they left me, I put on the football – Hwlffordd v Connah’s Quay Nomads. But I just couldn’t keep going. I fell asleep I don’t know how many times, so at the end of the first half, I switched off the computer and went to sleep.

When I awoke, they unplugged me quite quickly, so I went to look for my chauffeur. He was already there, and I was the only passenger, so I was at home quite quickly too, where my faithful cleaner was sitting on her mushroom waiting for me.

She helped me into the apartment where my friend was waiting, and we had fried potatoes with veg and falafel, followed by fruit cocktail and ice cream. Then I came back in here to write my notes up for tonight.

But I don’t know what’s happened to my taste buds. I know that everything I eat these days tastes of salt, but that meal somehow tasted of pure salt, and that’s what I’m tasting right now. So I’ll take my medication and go to bed and hope for a good night, although the amount of coughing that I’m doing right now will stop anything from happening. It’s probably about the worst that it’s ever been.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about a contribution from the Hound of the Baskervilles … "well, one of us has" – ed … I was just picturing their faces at the laboratory had I done so.
I can imagine Emilie the Cute Consultant giving me the results later.
"Mr Hall, I have some bad news for you."
"Ohh no! What now?"
"As well as all of your other problems, you now seem to have rabies and distemper."

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LIVE: Tuesday 8th September 2026 – WHAT A HORRIBLE …

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… day I’ve had today! It’s been another contender for “the worst day in my life”.

Last night, as you might recall, I abandoned my blog at some strange hour and staggered off to bed. I was thoroughly exhausted after dialysis yet again.

The expectation was to have a good and refreshing sleep and a nice, comfortable wake-up so that I could carry on writing the notes with some sort of enthusiasm. Well, such was the plan. The reality was far, far different.

Firstly, I began to cough again, despite the menthol and eucalyptus sweet that I’d had on going to bed. Secondly, the Hound of the Baskervilles began to bark at about 00:50. I thought at first that he was having a nightmare, but according to his master, someone had come into the building and stood outside our door. His Nibs was simply reminding whoever it was outside that he was here and on guard.

After that, it was impossible to go back to sleep. I was coughing far too much, almost as much as when this cough was at its worst a few months ago, and I just couldn’t calm it down.

When the alarm went off, no one felt less like leaving the bed than I did, but I was soon in the chair by the computer. And the first thing that I did was to fall asleep.

About twenty minutes later, I awoke and dashed off the remainder of the notes before I crashed out again. It took me a good hour or so all the same to finish them.

Just as I was adding the finishing touches to my work, my friend came in and made a “coffee” gesture, so I quickly finished off that I had to do, posted it on line and then wandered off into the kitchen for a coffee and a chat, and also to give a stroke to the Hound of the Baskervilles.

It was quite a nice way to start the day, coffee and a chat about obsolete musical and studio equipment. It brings back many happy memories of our lives on the road.

One of our discussions was about the amps and speakers that we owned. I told him about the six-channel Marshall 200-watt PA amp and the 2 2×12 columns, the 200-watt bass amp and cabinet that I have down in the Auvergne, and the Fender bass combo and “Jaguar” bass that I have in Canada.

My friend said that they aren’t doing much good there. I replied that they wouldn’t be doing much good here either. There would be nowhere to put them. I already have my “stack” of the Genz Benz 200-watt bass combo, the 25-watt six-string combo and the 45-watt Carlsbro bass combo in the living room, along with the Gibson EB3 and the five-string fretless bass as well as the six-string electric guitar. In here, there’s the Roland cube bass amp and the little battery-operated one, and also the Ibanez six-string acoustic and the Ibanez four-string bass.

Isabelle the Nurse was late arriving today, and just as yesterday, the Hound of the Baskervilles rolled onto his back straight away for some tummy tickles. As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … he has far more luck with the ladies than I ever do.

Eventually, Isabelle the Nurse tore herself away from the Hound of the Baskervilles and came to deal with me. I told her about my foot, which is now hurting more than ever before, and told her to be careful.

After she left, we continued chatting for a while, and then I went to make my breakfast as the Hound of the Baskervilles dragged his master off for a walk. I didn’t envy them. There was a gale-force wind blowing outside, and it was lashing with rain.

While they were gone, I made my breakfast and sat down to read some more of my book, THE REPORT OF THE WOOLHOPE NATURALISTS CLUB 1870.

We’ve had nothing controversial this morning, but I was often away from the book researching some of the places that they visited and what the opinion is today of what they saw. And there’s nothing really that has changed, although the Eurypterus Brodici,, discovered by the Reverend Brodie, seems no longer recognised as an individual species

Back in here later, I finished off all of the notes from yesterday and they are now on line, but I knew that I wasn’t. Ever since I’d awoken this morning, I’d been good for nothing, so tired was I.

And this carried on too because once the notes were online, I crashed out again on my chair. And it was for just five minutes either.

When I eventually awoke, it was disgusting drink and midday medicine time, so I went into the kitchen to sort things out. I also had my first of the disgusting cement that’s supposed to be an anti-potassium drink. But as I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … I think that before a doctor prescribes any medication, the doctor ought to take a month’s supply himself so as to see for himself what the patients might think of it.

One thing that I had forgotten was the dictaphone, so I sat down to transcribe whatever there was.

I was responsible for bringing up a young girl, and as a result, I’d been set several tasks which would account for being the new set of rules about different things and ways of expressing them in the 1980s. I’d managed to gope with them all and was quite successful, although I found it difficult to find the local names for one or two of these things. The next thing was a load of twenty of these kinds of rules suddenly appeared, and I was expected to deal with them all, not necessarily in alphabetical order. This was quite a task by the looks of things, but any of them looked fairly straightforward. I was sure that the girl involved would be able to help me with a few of the others, so it wouldn’t look all this difficult. Just as I was getting into it, the Hound of the Baskervilles had a nightmare and barked, waking both of us up in this apartment.

Earlier on, I’d mentioned the Hound of the Baskervilles awakening us, so it wasn’t just a dream. It really was the case.

But this story about the man bringing up the girl and the new set of rules would have been Ohh! So relevant in 1987. But never mind. It might yet be that Biggles Flies Again in much more modern times, although with the same characters as before. Who knows?

I started to work for London Transport last night as a conductor on the buses on my very first day. Even though I’d been to training school, I was feeling quite nervous. So I boarded this bus, which was crowded and had an old man as driver and a woman conductor who was in her forties. She wasn’t very happy to see me because she’d run these buses on her own for a long time but I was determined to help. However, I kept on making a mess of the most simple of things, and nothing seemed to be going right at all and I’m sure that she was extremely frustrated with me. Then, the driver happened to mention “have you fixed the clock?”. I replied “no”. “well we have to go to the clock on the bus to get it right”. So I had to go, and he took me up to the top deck, and there was a little doorway, so we squeezed in and went up. The clock was in a kind of tower. But when we arrived there, there was someone asleep in that little room. It turned out that he was a motor mechanic for one of the repair yards. Of course, they threw him off the bus and if he ever came here again, he’d regret it. We reset the time on the bus, and by the time that I went downstairs, there were only a dozen or so passengers. We began to collect the fares from them, but I couldn’t find my fare sheet. I’d left it somewhere while I was fixing this clock

The clock on each of these buses resembled a miniature “Big Ben” and took quite some maintenance, although people in this tower were never imagined to be sleeping in it.

And although we have the usual (or what used to be usual) panic attack, I can’t think of whatever I might be doing in a London bus.

Later on, the cleaner came round, and before she began to do her stuff, she chased me under the shower again. So there’s a nice clean boy … "well, clean, anyway" – ed … ready for tonight.

Once I’d calmed down, I began to write the notes for tonight. But as I implied just now, my head wasn’t in it. It wasn’t in fact until about 17:00 that I managed to pull myself together enough to put some coherent sentences onto paper.

There was no tea tonight – I really didn’t feel like anything – so I grabbed some toasts and cheese, a disgusting drink and an orange and came in here to watch the football.

We had Caernarfon v Y Fflint, and as I watched the match, I confirmed my assumption of what has been going wrong with Y Fflint, in second-last place in the JD Cymru League. They just aren’t having any luck.

Although Caernarfon won 3-0 as expected, Y Fflint were giving as good as they were getting. They hit the woodwork several times, they had balls kicked off the line a couple of times. Nothing is going right for them this season and it’s high time that they had a change of luck.

But right now, I’m off to bed, later than I anticipated, but it can’t be helped. We’ll see what tomorrow brings if I can survive the coughing and the pain in my foot.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about Biggles … "well, one of us has" – ed … one of my friends has told m that he was a big fan of Biggles and has all of the books – except one.
"Which one are you missing?" I asked.
"Biggles Flies Undone" he replied

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LIVE: Monday 7th September 2026 – AND SO WE’RE …

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… back in the good old night-time routine of waking up early and not going back to sleep again.

Over the last three or four weeks, I genuinely believed that I’d left all of that behind and moved onwards and upwards into a much more normal sleeping pattern, but ohhh! Cruel and Wicked Fate has confounded me yet again.

Last night I was in bed by 22:30, thoroughly tired and exhausted, and I was pretty soon asleep. Apart from the odd bit of tossing and turning, I stayed asleep until some unearthly time in the morning where I was wide awake again, and despite how tired I might have been feeling, I didn’t go back to sleep again.

At one point, I was so fed up with it all that I went to look at the time. And just as I was about to switch on the ‘phone, the 06:29 alarm rang.

That was the cue to leave the bed, but in all honesty, it took much more than that to rise to my feet.

Once I was up and about, I slid over onto the chair and began to listen to where I was last night.

We were in the territorial army last night. And as time went on, the territorial army began to produce proper sailors and so on so they became more integrated into the organisation of the terriers, and it was quite common for them to fulfil some kind of role in the organisation. This meant a big shuffle round of the personnel. We suddenly found that people had been removed from their post and that some Territorial who had qualified in that subject was there instead. As captain, I was responsible for making sure that it was usual and acceptable for a girl of 11 like Seren. I had to start by working my way around the different classrooms to see what changes had been made, and then two of our … fell asleep here … so it was all starting to become pretty complicated here.

While this might be an interesting dream, relating to a discussion I’d had with my friend recently, I actually remember nothing whatever of this dream, regardless of any significance. Usually, whenever I begin to transcribe them, there’s usually always a distant memory that comes drifting back, but not with this one.


I was back training that football side again last night, and we were working on receiving free kicks – working on defending against free kicks and winning the ball. We had a practice fence that we brought on whenever we were doing something involved with an arret against the grieving things and then just curling the ball in and spinning into the net over the wall. When my cleaner came past, she said something along the line that we weren’t all that particularly good like back when we began to practise this week. But give them a week and they’ll be brilliant. Then on her way home from working her midday shift, she gave me a packet of biscuits, so I gathered that what she meant was that it was lunchtime, but every time that we defended a kick, we had this big defensive wall made of this fence. We were raising it higher and higher to make it more complicated for the attacker.

This seems to be a recurring dream right at the moment, with me training various football clubs. However, nothing seems to be so bad with some clubs that my training won’t make it worse.

Then I went to continue the notes from yesterday, but the first thing that I noticed was that I was locked out of my own blog site. This captcha will be the death of me at this rate. I simply went into my site’s file manager and disabled everything that I’ve done these last few days. I’ll look at it again later, but in the meantime, I’ll carry on with the blog.

When I was nearly finished, my friend turned up imitating the role that I’ll have to use on my little WordPress flying machine, but I carried on chatting with him, even if it did mean postponing the Hound of the Baskervilles’ breakfast.

So having fallen asleep four times and with my posting degenerating into a load of rubbish… "what’s new?" – ed … as you can see from the above, I’m going to bed and I’ll continue tomorrow. It always seems to be the case that I can fall asleep sitting on my chair at the desk but never at all when I’m lying in bed.

Anyway, tomorrow, we’ll go back to yesterday and carry on. from last night.

So trying to make sense of everything, my friend turned up with a mug of coffee, which was extremely nice of him, but I asked him to put it on the kitchen table, and I’d be in in a sec.

After a quick visit to ride the porcelain horse, I went to join my friend in the kitchen, where we drank coffee and chatted about nothing very much in particular until the arrival of Isabelle the Nurse.

And then an interesting thing happened. The Hound of the Baskervilles, who hadn’t barked at all when she came in, rolled over onto his back and exposed his stomach so that Isabelle the Nurse could give him a good tummy-tickle. It’s amazing that he still remembers her after all these months.

She came over to me afterwards to deal with my legs and feet, and I asked her where my tummy-tickle was, but she told me basically to clear off.

After she left, the Hound of the Baskervilles had his breakfast and I made mine, and while I was eating, I was reading my new book, THE REPORT OF THE WOOLHOPE NATURALISTS CLUB 1870.

And for the benefit of some of my readers – it’s “Naturalists”, not “Naturists”. There’s a big difference.

This book will probably have one or two controversies of its own, but at least they will be between members. It’s not a book written from one person’s viewpoint.

There’s a crisis with the medication right now. It seems that one set of pills was missed off the order a couple of weeks ago, and now I’m down to my last handful. I shall have to have a word with my faithful cleaner later.

Back in here, there were the notes to finish, and then there were a few other things to do, such as to review and send off the radio programme for this week. And just when I was standing up to go to prepare myself for dialysis, the alarm went off to remind me that it was time to prepare myself for dialysis.

In the kitchen, I sorted out a disgusting drink and the midday medication and then made myself ready. My cleaner turned up to sort out the anaesthetic, but her first priority was to stroke the belly of the Hound of the Baskervilles. As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … he has far more luck with the women than I do.

After she left, I waited here with His Nibs for my taxi while my friend nipped out for a short while. Now that Mrs Dinosaur has left the area, we’re back at the usual situation of the taxi being a few minutes late. But at least it was a Mercedes B-series from the taxi company that the company that I use had recently bought.

We had to go via Sartilly for the old lady there, but nevertheless, we were still five minutes early at Avranches. I had one of the new nurses and she was quite efficient, and I was up and running by 14:15. I noticed that there were two people in my room whom I didn’t recognise. “Holidaymakers”, I was informed.

There wasn’t as much fluid to extract today so, once more, I persuaded her successfully to up the total by 300 grams to give me a head start for Thursday

Once I was organised, I had some football to watch. We started off with the rest of the match between LLansawel and Airbus UK Broughton.

Say what you like, it’s clear that three of the newly promoted clubs, Llandudlo, Cambrian United and the Wingmakers, can compete to some degree at this level, whereas the other three – Rhydaman, Trefelin and Trefynnon – are here as cannon fodder and that’s not a very pleasant place in which to be. Throw Y Fflint in there too, and you have what look like your relegation candidates for the end of the season.

So, retournons à nos moutons as they say around here, the match finished 0-2 to the Wingmakers, and quite right too. From what I saw, they certainly had the better of the play.

After that, there was Cardiff Metro v Cambrian United. The Met pulled away into a 2-0 lead, but Cambian plugged away and came back into the game. The final score was 2-2, and Cambrian hit the woodwork on two occasions towards the end of the game.

Just as the final whistle blew, the nurse came round to unplug me. The time had fitted together nicely. And even better, just as I was about to leave, Emilie the Cute Consultant came to see me. The bad news is that I start a new course of the disgusting potassium powder. Ahh well!

By now, my chauffeur was waiting – a chatty guy whom I hadn’t seen for a while, so I didn’t have to hang around and I would have an interesting ride home.

We were back at a reasonable time and found my cleaner perched on her mushroom waiting for me. She helped me into the apartment and then went off to cuddle the Hound of the Baskervilles. I was clearly a distant second in her priorities.

She sorted out my disgusting drink, sorted out the medication, found my friend’s missing jacket and then wandered off. My friend stuck another bowl of chilli, this time with baked potato, in my mitt and we tucked in. This is real luxury, having a meal plonked into my hands upon my return.

The next plan was to write my notes, but I failed miserably. I fell asleep four times before I’d even written a dozen lines, so I said “sod it” and went to be.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about the Hound of the Baskervilles … "well, one of us has" – ed … yesterday, he went into La Rafale and ordered a pint of beer for himself.
"Wow! Magnificent" said the barman. "With skills like that, you ought to be in a circus!"
"Why?" asked the Hound of the Baskervilles. "Do they need an electrician?"

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Live: Sunday 6th September 2026 – CAFE AU LAIT …

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… is nothing like as good as Café Au Lit, Ay? … "and I bet that that went clean over the heads of most of your readers" – ed …

So when I was awoken by my friend bringing in a mug of coffee to my bedside table, I made no complaint at all, even if I had been fast asleep up to that point.

And “fast asleep” was quite right too. I’d collapsed into bed at about 20:30 and was probably asleep before my head touched the pillow. I was only going for a crash-out of about an hour then I’d wake up and carry on with the notes. That was the plan, anyway.

However, when I awoke and checked the time, it was 03:48 – much later than I had intended. Nevertheless, by 04:00 I was attacking my notes.

They were finished and on line round about 05:10, and I went back to bed. This time, though, I changed from my day clothes into my night clothes for the sake of decorum. And once more, I was asleep before my head touched the pillow.

When my friend brought in the coffee, it was about 08:15, and I hadn’t had three mouthfuls out of the mug before my nurse came to deal with me. And the Hound of the Baskervilles too, as well as his German lessons.

After he left, I finished my coffee and eventually made it into the kitchen, having dressed myself first. My friend was just about to be dragged out on walkies duty by the Hound of the Baskervilles, so I made another supply of croissants.

Once the croissants were in the oven, I set about making my porridge and also the juice for my morning medication. And everything was ready at the same time so I grabbed two warm croissants and put them on a plate to have after my porridge.

When the Hound of the Baskervilles dragged my friend back, we chatted for a while … "with the friend, not the Hound of the Baskervilles" – ed … and then I came in here to check the dictaphone to see if there was anything on it.

There was something about my middle sister last night. She was going to go to school in Paris. She was not really the sharpest knife in the box so we were wondering how she was going to cope. My mother seemed to think that she would cope OK with very few problems at all, but I said that I could imagine her getting herself lost on the Paris underground without any problems whatsoever. I didn’t think that anything augured particularly well in this plan to send her there.

This is one of those dreams that’s so unexpected. I’ve no idea why a dream like this would be going around my head. It’s extremely unlikely that she would have gone to Paris because she was not very good on her own in strange places. Not to mention the fact that our family would never ever have had the money to send her there.

But it’s interesting nevertheless that she appears in my dreams because she is the least likely member of my family to do so.

After that, there were two football matches to see.

They were both in Scotland – the first was Forfar Athletic v Stranraer. The Loons have always been Stranraer’s Nemesis but today, the tables were well-and-truly turned as Stranraer deservedly shellacked the Loons 0-3.

The next game wasn’t so interesting. Greenock Morton and Queen’s Park are struggling at the foot of the table so these three points were vital to both clubs.

Morton have recently signed about six loan stars, so I was looking for a vast improvement, but it wasn’t to be. From what I saw, it was a team that hadn’t knitted together yet, and a 2-1 defeat was about right.

There were several other things to do too, and then I made a start on fine-tuning the captcha. And I won’t tell you the saga about that because you’ll be pulling out your hair just as I would be if I had any hair left to pull.

Round about 13:30 we decided to take advantage of the lovely weather by going for a drive and buying a bag of chips at our favourite chippy in Avranches. So all three of us, my friend, the Hound of the Baskervilles and me, piled into the car like three superheroes and set off.

We went via a couple of garages in the area that were selling motorhomes to see what was on offer, but there was nothing that would fit in my friend’s garage so we didn’t pursue our enquiries. From there we went into the centre of Avranches but to our dismay, the chippy was closed.

Instead, we went to the car park by the cathedral. There’s a big public park there that is another one of the favourite places to visit of the Hound of the Baskervilles so he dragged his master off for another walkies. However, he spent most of his time being fascinated by the fish in the fishpond.

We came back a different way today – via La Haye Pesnel and Folligny, where we went to look at the old railway station and marshalling yard there. The yard was important because it was there that loads coming from the docks at Cherbourg would be trans-shipped to a train going to Granville and was heavily bombed by Stukas on 17th June 1940.

When the Germans arrived, they put it back into commission, and it was bombed by the allies in 1944 during the D-Day landings.

Back at home, rather much later than intended and not having had our chips in Avranches, I made a pizza. It’s been quite a long time since I’ve made one of those so, do you know, I’d forgotten how long the cooking time was? Consequently, we had a “rather crisp” base that, rather than a knife, you needed an axe to cut your way through it, and it spoiled somewhat the lovely taste of the topping.

The pudding afterwards was another one of these new soya yoghurts, and they tasted just as good as the previous ones.

There were still plenty of things to do so I came in here to do them, but as usual, there was an enormous wave of fatigue that swept over me when I was only halfway through my notes, so I posted online what I’d already written, took my nighttime medication and crawled into bed. I can always finish my notes off tomorrow morning.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about pizza disasters … "well, one of us has" – ed … I once met a friend who told me that he had burned his pizza while it was in the oven.
"What type of pizza was it?" I asked.
"It was a Hawaiian pizza" he replied
"So next time, put it on aloha temperature."

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Live: Friday 4th September 2026 – WHAT A HORRIBLE …

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… afternoon I’ve had today. I’ve been spending from about 14:00 to midnight (with various pauses, of course) trying to figure a captcha on my site, but with no luck at all.

You’d think that I’d know better than to try to do a silly job like that and think that it will only take half an hour or so.

Anyway, it all went wrong last night – that was when it all started. I was in bed by 22:30, looking forward to a really good sleep. Instead, I had a bad night. I tossed and turned during the night and coughed myself to death. When the alarm went off at 06:29 I felt like death.

As usual, it took an age to find the energy to crawl over to my seat, but when I did, the first thing I did was to listen to the dictaphone to find out what had been going on.

I was coaching a team in the Welsh Premier League last night. We weren’t having an easy time of it, so I started to change the tactics around. This produced some slightly better results but there was still a long way to go for improvements and a couple of young nineteen year olds joined the team. They had a great deal of enthusiasm over what would be happening here.

It looks as if everyone in my dream had had a bad night and was thoroughly whacked too. But this dream refers to a couple of clubs in Wales who have signed some “young, promising talent” released by the English clubs’ training schools at the close season.

By now, I was hearing the rattling of the coffee equipment so I guessed that my friend was abroad and occupying himself with the morning tasks.

Anyway, I went in to join him, just in enough time, though, to have a hot mug of coffee stuck into my sweaty mitt.

We had quite a good chat until the nurse arrived, and he continued his German lessons with my friend and the Hound of the Baskervilles, who was now awake and came to join us in conversation.

After the nurse left, the Hound of the Baskervilles dragged his master off walkies and I made my breakfast as usual – porridge, toast, and juice for my morning medication. And while I was eating, I was reading some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

He’s still on his horse about the end of the Gothic era, and this is his latest rant –"We have not hitherto seen the intrusion of any distinctively foreign element ; the idea is generally completely Gothic, and often of great merit, the corruption is to be traced in the poor and inaccurate details, in some cases retained by corrupt tradition from the latest Perpendicular".

As you can see, it’s “no holds barred” in this discussion. Still, only a few pages to go.

When I came back in here, there were a few things to do. And then, when they were done, I turned my attention to the outstanding notes from yesterday.

All through the morning, I’d been fighting off wave after wave of fatigue, and sitting here at my desk was no exception. Consequently, it was quite a struggle to finish these notes, although, as time passed, it became easier and easier.

The Hound of the Baskervilles, who earlier had dragged his master out for walkies, dragged him back too. Apparently there had been an “incident” when a dog off its lead decided that it fancied a fight with him. That was a rather foolish decision. The Hound of the Baskervilles is more than a match for anything, even when on his lead, as events apparently showed.

The next job was to send off the Leclerc order as we are running low on essential supplies, such as vegetables, salad stuff, fruit juice, butter and my friend’s beer.

After that, I watched the remaining few minutes of Airbus’s demolition of Trefynnon so as to clear that off the waiting list of events and then watched the crazy match from Tuesday between Stranraer and Celtic B, where Stranraer threw away a 3-1 lead to go down 3-4 and to finish the match with just nine men on the field.

After that, I decided to be sociable … "that’s not like you" – ed … so I went for a chat with my friend. As usual, we talked a lot about the past, but unfortunately, nostalgia ain’t what it used to be.

By 14:00 I was back in here and I started to install this captcha that I want on my site to keep the spammers and bots out. The first bit, setting up the captcha and obtaining the keycodes, was relatively straightforward.

The next bit – pinning the captcha to the site – was where it became complicated and in the end I called up my CHATBOT TO HELP ME

We made much more progress after that, but could I ‘eck as like get it to attach to my site, no matter how many different ways we tried.

Just before 18:00 I had to break off because the Leclerc order was delivered. Working as a team, me standing in front of the counter emptying all the bags and my friend standing behind the counter putting the stuff away, it was amazing just how quickly we managed to put everything away.

Shortly afterwards, it was teatime, so we had our usual Friday night staple of chips in the air fryer, baked beans with cheese and black pepper, and vegan sausages added to the chips. My friend made the chips to his own secret recipe, and I dealt with the beans.

For pudding, we had the last of the tinned apricots with a citron sorbet. And why not? After all, it was a really delicious meal.

After the meal and the washing up, there was football – Trefynnon v Trefelin – a proper basement clash. Trefynnon has no points and a goal difference; you could drive a bus through, whereas Trefelin has one point and has scored two goals.

No wonder these two teams are struggling. There wasn’t very much in the way of skill out there tonight, and the teams were far too busy giving away possession at every opportunity. Wayward passes were so numerous that I couldn’t count them.

Nevertheless, the game roared from end to end, finely balanced with no-one having the upper hand. Trefelin drew first blood after 61 minutes with a beautiful lob over the goalkeeper, but in the 82nd minute, Treffynnon equalised with a goal direct from a corner.

That was how the match finished, 1-1. Trefynnon won their first point and Trefelin scored their third goal. However, a draw was good for neither team in their effort to climb the table. By the way, I’m not sure if I missed anything because from between the 41st minute and the middle of half-time, I crashed out in the chair. Another one of those occasions when I knew nothing about it.

After that, I returned to the chatbot and the captcha. After a while, we realised that we were going nowhere fast so the chatbot advised me to strike out everything that we’d done and to start on a new hosting platform for the captcha.

That was when I looked at the time – 01:00 almost. I’m not starting a complicated process at this time of night? Instead, I told the chatbot that I’ll see him on Sunday, maybe. And then I went to bed.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about captchas … "well, one of us has" – ed … someone once asked me "why did Mark Zuckerberg create ‘Facebook’?"
My reply was "he couldn’t work out the captcha to get into MySpace."

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LIVE: Wednesday 3rd September 2026 – ISN’T IT LOVELY …

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… to be sitting at your desk early in the morning working and, rather miraculously, a mug of hot black coffee mysteriously appears at your elbow?

Believe it or not, that was probably the nicest part of the day if you ask me, because the rest of it wasn’t quite so good.

Take last night as an example. I was working away so intently that I hadn’t noticed how late it was. I knew that it was knocking on but 01:43 was not what I expected to see when I glanced at the clock. It was round about 02:00 when I finally crawled into bed. The surprising thing, though, was that I wasn’t tired at all. I could have carried on for ever.

Once I was in bed, I was staying in bed. I didn’t wake up at all until the alarm went off at 06:29 this morning. And it goes without saying that I could have stayed in bed then. Instead, it took a herculean effort to raise myself from the Dead.

No sign of life at all coming from the living room. I think that the Hound of the Baskervilles and his master were both fast asleep. Instead, I went through the coding that my chatbot and I had written last night. When I found what I thought might be an error, I woke up the chatbot and we carried on making amendments.

It wasn’t until 09:17 that we were finally satisfied. Mind you, that included a stoppage for the nurse when he came, and also to drink a lovely mug of coffee.

And the Hound of the Baskervilles was wonderful too. He usually barks at strangers, but when the nurse came, he didn’t make a noise but wagged his tail. It’s been over three months since he was last here, but he still remembers at what time the nurses arrive and who they are.

But going back to our coding issues, we could—and should—have finished a long time earlier. However, during one of the exercises that we did to find the fault, the chatbot had told me to switch off a plugin while we tried something. And, of course, he never told me to switch it back on, so I hadn’t, and all the checks after that were therefore useless.

After I’d finished, I checked the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night. However, there were no dreams recorded. But what do you expect when you go to bed at 02:00 and wake up at 06:29? There isn’t enough time to go anywhere interesting at all, let alone chat with anyone when you get there.

Instead, I went into the bathroom to sort myself out and then went for a very late breakfast. It was 10:27 when I started to make my porridge and toast, and all of 11:27 when I’d finished. Where did the morning go?

After a quick dash for a ride on the porcelain horse, I came back in here to finish off a few times, and it was then time to sort myself out for dialysis. My faithful cleaner was quite late today, and poor Pablo was already pining. It’s quite amazing that he knows what time she usually comes here, even after all that time away.

When she finished and had given Pablo a really good cuddle and stroke, my friend and I sat around, waiting for the taxi to come. And when it turned up, only five minutes early today now that there is no Mrs. Dinosaur to pick up, I found that we already had one passenger aboard and there was someone else to pick up at the aquagym at St. Pair.

We were all having such a good chat that our driver missed her turn, and I had to remind her that we had a third passenger to pick up. It wasn’t long though until everyone was in the car and we could set off.

At Avranches, I was first out of the taxi at about 13:50, but my luck wasn’t as good as usual, and it was 14:20 when I was finally plugged in. We had quite an argument about my dry weight, and in the end, they connected up the machine to measure it. And rather than going up a little, as I expected, it was continuing on its downward spiral. This is going to be interesting.

Apart from the alarm on the blood pressure machine going off every half-hour and bringing the nurses running for no good reason, everyone left me alone so that I can watch the football from the weekend.

The first match was the rest of Hwlffordd v Cambrian United. It eventually finished 2-1 to Hwlffordd, giving them their first goals and first points of the season. It’s not that Cambrian United weren’t every bit as good, it’s just that, as a newly promoted team, they weren’t as experienced and streetwise as their opponents.

The next match was between two newly promoted teams, Airbus UK Broughton and Trefynnon. Trefynnon are having a wretched time of it – at the bottom of the table and with a goal difference through which you could drive a bus. And things weren’t any better for them on Friday as they crashed 6-2.

Again, it’s not as if they were that much worse than their opponents. It’s the first time that they have been in the Premier League for nearly 30 years, whereas Airbus were up here a couple of years ago and finished with the unenviable record of the lowest points total in the league’s history. They have learnt an awful lot since.

The match wasn’t quite finished when they came to unplug me at the end of the session. And under the guiding arms of one of the nursing auxiliaries, I was ushered outside to wait for my taxi.

On the way out, I bumped into Emilie the Cute Consultant. Apparently, she was on her way to see me. She doesn’t have the results of the blood test, so the next steps are as yet unclear. I told her that I would consider anything as long as it wasn’t stuffing a camera up my nose and down my throat. Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that I had one of those a couple of months ago, and never again!

It was only a five-minute wait, and there was someone else in the car when it turned up, so we had to come home via Longueville to drop her off. Nevertheless, I was still back home by some reasonable time.

My faithful cleaner helped me into the apartment and stuck a disgusting drink into my sweaty mitt, and then she went off to make a fuss of the Hound of the Baskervilles. I’ll tell you – he has more luck with the ladies than I do.

After she left, my friend stuck a bowl of food in my sweaty little mitt – baked sliced potato, onion, and leftovers from last night. It would have made a really good base for a “bubble and squeak”, but nevertheless, it really was nice as it was.

When I’d finished, I washed up and then came back in here to write up my notes. However, all of the energy that I had last night has well and truly gone. “I’m not staying up until 02:00 tonight!” I told my friend, so I posted what I’d done so far and then crawled into bed. I can finish everything off tomorrow.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about the Hound of the Baskervilles … "well, one of us has" – ed … he’s actually a fully trained rescue and sniffer dog – honestly.
One day, he’s out on patrol with a police officer, and the dog suddenly becomes excited and rushes towards a pedestrian.
The police officer grabs the pedestrian and says "I’m going to have to search you. This dog tells me that you’re carrying drugs."
"Carrying drugs?" queries the pedestrian. "And you’re the one going around talking to dogs"

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LIVE: Tuesday 1st September 2026 – PHEW! WHAT A …

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… day that was.

It actually started last night when I was so tired that I went to bed at about 22:00, totally exhausted. And although I wasn’t as quick going to sleep as I would have liked to have been, it was still quicker than some nights, and I hadn’t finished sucking my menthol and eucalyptus sweet.

The sleep didn’t last as long as it might have done either. I was awake at about 03:30, and, as far as that was concerned, that was the end of any reasonable hope of dozing off again. I stayed there, tossing and turning, trying to find a really good and comfortable position. And just as I was settling into a nice, comfortable position, the alarm went off.

Strangely, I was up and about rather quicker than I have been recently, and the first task that I had to do was to unlock the front door. And this time, I remembered where I put the keys when I’d finished.

Into the bathroom to sort myself out was next, and then back in here to listen to the dictaphone to find out what had gone on during the night.

There was something about my friend from Germany again – the one to whom I spoke on line the other day. She was planning on going somewhere in her old car, a little dark-blue 1984 Opel saloon. She had some of these stickers that you used to have in the window in the 1960s of where you’ve been. There was probably well over a hundred in her windscreen.

It’s pretty certain that most people my age and older remember those little triangular stickers that you bought in every seaside resort in the 1960s and stuck in your window to say where you’d been. We had dozens, and others had many more than that.

The nurse turned up as usual and asked how things went at dialysis. I told him of my various woes, but he didn’t react.

After he’d left, I could make breakfast and read some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Our author is still moaning on about the end of the Gothic period of architecture. Of Renaissance architecture in Italy. He tells us that "Such a style as this cannot but be pronounced an utter barbarism ; it has no language, no meaning of its own, but owes all its splendour to the borrowed light of the very style which it is sedulously labouring to eradicate. Cinque-cento buildings exist of great magnificence, and even great beauty, but all their beauty is derived from the Gothic vestiges which linger about them, and give them at a distance the appearance of pure Gothic structures" and much more in this respect.

By now, I was back in here trying to sort out the radio to broadcast the programme that I’m hoping to make this week. The search for the music continued. However, it had an interruption, though, between 10:30 and 11:45 when I was crashed out on my chair, fast asleep.

When it awoke, I had another interruption too. I’d forgotten that I had yesterday’s notes to finish, and so I abandoned the radio for the moment and attacked the notes.

This was complicated because firstly, I was having to fight the waves of fatigue and sleep that kept on washing over me, and then there was the pause for the disgusting drink and the midday medication.

Not only that, at 14:00 my cleaner turned up, and by 14:15 she’d chased me under the shower. Once again, once she’d arranged the bathroom with everything that I needed, I went into the shower as nature intended, all by myself and without my crutches, hanging on to bits of furniture as I passed by.

The shower was delicious. As usual, I had the temperature at 40°C, and that makes the difference, as far as I’m concerned.

It was a nice, clean me … "well, clean, anyway" – ed … who emerged from the shower – on my own again and walking forwards rather than backwards as I used to. I’m getting better and far more independent than I was when I first started showering. If only I were to have these handrails installed, I could have a lot of showers, certainly more than one each week.

There was quite a bit to sort out with my cleaner today, so it wasn’t until after she left that I could restart the notes. That explains why they didn’t go on line until about 15:30 or something like that.

And once they were done and gone, I could return to the radio programme and continue to search for music. And with the help of my chatbot, I was eventually able to track down everything that I needed. As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … artificial intelligence is saving me hours when you need to know “what is (some obscure musician)’s most well-known contribution to (some obscure group). You get the answer in milliseconds rather than spending hours trawling through the internet.

With all of the music downloaded, it needs reformatting and re-editing. And I was halfway through when it was time for me to knock off. However, that wasn’t the cue to put everything away

As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … I have several other projects on the go at the moment too. For one of these, my chatbot has sent me a huge amount of text to review, amend if necessary, and post back. So, with no food again tonight – just a few crackers with the vegan spreading cheese followed by a handful of biscuits – I set to work.

And that was not interruption-free either. The new chat group for the coming year of our Welsh course was set up too, so we had the usual protocol of introducing ourselves, welcoming the newcomers and all of that jazz. And I shall have to get on and order the course book pretty soon because I don’t have long to go before I’m back in class.

After that, I continued with the artificial intelligence notes that needed reviewing and posted them back. They were so long that I had to send them back in four instalments. They wouldn’t all go back in one go.

No-one was more surprised than me to see the time when I’d finished. It was 22:10 – long past my working ultimate deadline. And I still had my notes to complete, so I began to attack them straight away. However, as time drew on, the waves of fatigue swept over me once again and this time, I was unable to resist. I posted on line what I’d written, and then I crawled off to bed. I can finish my notes tomorrow.

However, I’m as fed up with this as you are. Half the notes are better than none, but that’s still not as good as all of them. And having commitments “elsewhere” until about 21:45, there’s not much that I can do to change things. I can’t decide that “OK, I’ll change things around and start to post my notes the following morning” because with the nurse and breakfast and dialysis, there isn’t enough time to do them in the morning either. I shall have to think of a cunning plan.

And before anyone says anything, a vlog is ruled right out. Who wants to stare at my ugly mug anyway?

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about having a shower … "well, one of us has" – ed … two girls from Crewe were living together in an apartment and one of them decided to take a shower.
After two hours, she was still in there, so the other one asked her "Are you ok?"
The girl in the shower replied "yes thanks."
"So what’s keeping you?"
"It’s these instructions on the shampoo. I have to follow them carefully."
"What instructions are those?"
"Where it says ‘lather, rinse, repeat’."

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Monday 31st August 2026 – HERE WE GO …

… another Monday out of the way, kicked into touch, or whatever other phrase you like. And I’m ready for a relaxing day at home tomorrow, that’s for sure, although with my faithful cleaner coming round to do her stuff, “relaxing” is probably the wrong word to use.

Last night, though, wasn’t so much fun. It was about 23:00 when I finally crawled into bed. It took an age to go to sleep, despite how tired I was feeling.

And even then, once I was asleep, it wasn’t for very long. I’ve no idea what time it was when I awoke, because I didn’t check. But I didn’t go back to sleep either, and I spent quite a while tossing and turning in my bed.

When the alarm went off at 06:29, I eventually, after much persuasion, managed to end up sitting on the edge of the bed, and it took me a good ten minutes to force myself upright.

The first task was to unlock the front door so that the nurse could come in later. Then I went into the bathroom to sort myself out and have a good wash and shave in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant later at dialysis.

Back in here, I had another listen to the dictaphone to listen to what had gone on during the night.

And while there was something on the dictaphone last night, it’s another one of these dreams that the World is not yet ready to hear. It’s basically relating to something that didn’t happen on Friday evening and something that the crowd shouted at one of these football matches

The nurse turned up as usual, and for a change, we had something of an intellectual discussion about the difference in working styles between the USA and Europe.

Interesting as the American system might be, though, it’s positively inhuman. I told him about that crazy American company where Alison and I once worked. I was trying to resolve a problem with an American counterpart in New York one Friday, but it was my time to go home. He said that he’d ring me on Monday to discuss it further. So Monday came and at 13:00 (08:00 in New York) I began to anticipate the ‘phone call. But nothing at all came. When it was almost my home time, I telephoned New York to speak to him.

Instead I had "I’m sorry. His position was made redundant on Friday. He doesn’t work here any more."

After he had left, … "the nurse, not the guy in the office in New York" – ed … I went to make my breakfast and read some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Today, he’s carrying on where he left off and talking about Renaissance archaeology in Germany, we have "And when the old heathenish system was beginning to assume that influence which has been at last happily overthrown ; when Italy, its chosen land, was looked to as the exclusive abode of all art and refinement, and the greatest minds of that country were sedulously devoted to the restoration of classic forms ; what wonder was it that the apostate Teuton, crouching at the feet of fallen Italy, should seize with avidity on the new light, and eagerly substitute the arts of the heathen for the once honoured forms which no longer spoke, as of old, to every national and religious feeling ?"

Considering that we’re discussing the end of the fifteenth and most of the sixteenth century, talking about “heathenish systems”, “the apostate Teuton” and “the arts of the heathen” is not only grossly offensive, it is completely inaccurate too.

Back in here after breakfast, I had the usual things to do, and then I had a nice surprise. Liz rang me up for a chat, and how wonderful it was to hear from her.

It wasn’t quite a Rosemary-esque type of chat but nevertheless, it went on for quite a while. The good news is that towards the end of September, I might be having a visit.

The next task was to begin my search for music for the radio programme I’ll be preparing this week. There’s going to be quite a lot of new music in this one.

That took me up to midday … "with lots of music still to find" – ed … when the alarm went off to remind me to sort myself out for dialysis. I found my disgusting drink and my midday medication, but could I ‘eck as like find my keys?

The last time that I remember them, they were in my hand after I walked away from the door after unlocking it earlier this morning. I usually throw them onto the bed as I’m staggering past on my way to the bathroom but they weren’t there.

Just as I was about to start and retrace my steps, my faithful cleaner turned up, and she found them in an instant. What a brain of a duck your hero has!

After she had applied the anaesthetic to my arm, she wandered off and I sat down at the kitchen table to await the taxi. And just as I was starting to doze off and another footballing dream began to appear, the doorbell rang.

This provoked something of a panic when I awoke. I dropped one of my crutches and had to ferret about for it, and there were all kinds of other confusions too before I finally made it to the front door.

It was one of my favourite taxi drivers, so we had a good chat all the way down to Sartilly where we had to pick up someone else. My driver was telling me all about this guy that she had met on the internet and then just happened to drop into the conversation that in three weeks’ time, she was off to see her daughter in Montréal. And how jealous was I? I told her that if there was any room left in her suitcase, to let me know and I’ll squeeze myself in.

Despite now being back to the usual time now that Mrs Dinosaur has left the area, we were still fairly early arriving at dialysis. And the first issue that I had was that I couldn’t get out of the car. I’ve no idea why but I couldn’t manage it. In the end, I had to resort to all kinds of unorthodox manoeuvres to manage to stand upright.

One of the young nursing auxiliaries accompanied me to my bed, but halfway along the corridor I felt a heavy tap on my shoulder. When I looked round, it was one of the other auxiliaries who, for some reason or other, seems to like to flirt with me. Apparently, she wanted to say “hello”.

Today, I was lucky in that it was one of the young experienced nurses whom I like who was in the section where I was. Friendly and efficient, she had me up and running by 14:15. And she “fixed” the machine so that the alarm wouldn’t ring all the time if my blood pressure dropped.

There wasn’t as much fluid to take out today as there has been in the recent past, mainly because I’ve been careful about what I’ve been drinking, so I asked her if she could increase the extraction so that I would be “ahead” on Thursday. I suggested 300 grams, so she winked and said nothing. After she’d left, I noticed that she wound it up by 400 grams.

Then I could watch some football. The first match was from Friday night’s fixtures. Penybont have made several marquee signings this season in an attempt to put their miserable campaign in the second part of last year behind them, whereas their opponents tonight, Y Fflint, are still struggling in the basement with less experienced players.

However, it was a good match from what I saw. Penybont were, as expected, the more skilful team, whereas Y Fflint were more of heavyweight “sluggers”. Both teams had several chances but when I had to leave the match, just after half-time, Penybont were 1-0 up

The reason I left was because at 15:30, the live matches today started. My choice today was Hwlffordd v Trefelin. These were two bottom-of-the-table teams, with Hwlffordd surprisingly at no points and no goals, with newly promoted Trefelin just above them with one point and one goal.

Having seen how much chaos big burly veteran centre-half Louis Gerrard caused to the Rhydaman defence when Trefelin pushed him up front on Friday night, I was surprised to see him back in defence today. If I had been Trefelin’s manager, I’d have tried again today with him up front to see what he could do.

The game was quite nicely balanced, but I had to abandon it because it was home time, and I’ll watch the rest again at some point.

In between the football matches, I’d had a visitor. Emilie the Cute Consultant came to see me. She asked about the cough, and I told her that there was no change after the useless antibiotics her new colleague had prescribed. I told her that I had told the new doctor that they had been tried twice previously and done nothing, but the new doctor didn’t want to listen to me.

Emilie the Cute Consultant told me that she’d prescribe the powerful ones that work for a bit (although when, though, I don’t know because it wasn’t today) and then ominously added that if they didn’t work this time, because I was unable to cough up phlegm, she would have to prescribe a camera up the nose and down the throat again.

That’s the last thing that I wanted to hear, so after she left, I asked my nurse to bring me one of those sample pots that they have, and I’m going to teach myself to cough up some phlegm, or otherwise find someone else who can.

When the session was over, I had to wait a few minutes to be unplugged, but once she’d finished with me, I could go, so the nursing auxiliary who had tapped me on the back earlier accompanied me to the door.

And by the way, regular readers of this rubbish will recall me talking the other day about the “black line” on the machine’s display panel that refused to go down at one point, so the nurse increased the amount of fluid extraction. I checked today, and it does indeed start to rise again just after we’ve had our mid-session coffee. However, I’ll keep it a secret because if I can get them to increase the extraction every time, so much the better.

On the way to the door, I was weighed. And sure enough, I was below my official dry weight, which suits me fine.

The taxi driver was already waiting for me which was good, and as I was the only passenger on the return, we were soon home. My faithful cleaner was waiting for me as usual, and she helped me into the apartment. Once I was sitting down, she stuffed a disgusting drink into my hands.

After she had left, I grabbed some of those small toasted squares and some spreading vegan cheese and dashed in here. Another football match had started twenty minutes ago, and it was one that I really wanted to see.

Luckily, with the live stream you can either start “now” or “at the beginning”, so I started to watch Colwyn Bay v Llandudno from the kick-off – a real local seaside derby with another one of the biggest ever crowds in the Novira Welsh Premier League.

As you might expect, Colwyn Bay had the better of the game, but newly promoted Llandudno made them work very hard for their victory. The final score, 2-0 to the Seagulls, sent the Seasiders back to Llandudno feeling very disappointed because the score was something of an exaggeration. And had I been refereeing, I would have awarded Llandudno a penalty for handball and disallowed Colwyn Bay’s second goal for a clear foul a minute or so beforehand.

After the match finished, I began to write my notes for the day, but, having had to fight off waves of sleep during the football, I couldn’t keep going. After about half an hour, I was so tired that I couldn’t concentrate. Consequently, I posted on line the notes as far as I had written them and crawled into bed. I can finish them off tomorrow.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about phlegm and borrowing someone else’s … "well, one of us has" – ed … it reminds me of my cousin’s medical examination for joining the army.
He was unable to produce enough urine for an examination, so they sent him home to try again and to come back the next day with the little pot full.
Still unable to “produce”, he had a quiet word with his sister.
When he went back a week later for the results, the doctor looked at him with a great deal of pleasure.
"Well done, well done, well done" said the doctor. "You have made medical history."
"Why is that?" asked my cousin
"You are the first man whom I’ve ever met who has tried to join the army when he’s two months pregnant!"

0

Sunday 30th August 2026 – SUNDAY IS A ..

… Day of Rest, and nothing goes to prove it more than today because despite the stuff that’s piling up to be done, I have emulated my namesake, the mathematician, and done three-fifths of five-eighths of … errr … nothing.

Last night, I was in bed by about 22:00 and it wasn’t long before I was fast asleep. It wasn’t quite as simple as that, though. I was awake about three or four times at least during the night. But what a long night it was. In bed at 22:00 and when the nurse arrived at about 08:30, I was still in bed, fast asleep after the latest awakening.

He sorted out my legs and feet and then disappeared. And I went back to sleep.

It was 22:16 when I finally made it into the kitchen for breakfast – porridge, juice, the morning medication, black coffee and the last two of the homemade croissants. It was all delicious too. You can’t get better than that. And while I was eating, I was reading some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that a couple of days ago I said that "We’ve not had any outright vulgar abuse or “language lower than Billingsgate” but I’m expecting it to arrive sometime soon, and I’ll keep you posted." and I wasn’t wrong.

Today we had "From no part of a church had the old spirit further departed than from the monuments of the dead – no wonder then that they were the first to yield to the new corruptions ; that the arched and fretted canopy soon made way for the heathen column and entablature, and that the attitude of prayer was gradually changed for that of strife and debate, and attendant angels made way for the demons of a fallen superstition."

That was followed shortly by "When sacrilege had devastated the abodes of ancient piety and munificence, had levelled our most glorious temples with the ground, or at best substituted a single half-starved curate for the princely abbot and his monastic choir, and when the revenues which had been disposed in hospitality and pious works were scattered among the basest flatterers of an ungodly king ;".

But seriously, if you want to talk about “a single half-starved curate”, it’s not the Renaissance period where you need to be. Look at the condition of the clergy in the seventh and eighth centuries, where there wasn’t just abject poverty amongst the rural clergy, worse than anything that you had in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, they also ran the very real risk of being cloven in twain by a dissenting nobleman or invading army.

Back in here, I had yesterday’s notes to type up. And that took so much longer, as firstly, one of my friends from Germany wanted a video chat, and that ended up in a very Rosemary-esque conversation, and then another one of my friends from Germany wanted a chat too.

Once the notes were on line, there were the dictaphone notes to transcribe. And WOW!

We were on holiday again, a group of us. It was a terrible place where we were living because people had all brought their family and friends. Some of these friends were spongers who wouldn’t do a thing for themselves and expected everyone else to chip in and do things for them, yet we were all supposed to be on holiday ourselves. Then there was a question of copying a lot of text for labels or something, so we had to rush and find a newsagent’s so that we could get a telephone directory and cut the things out, but there was nothing. In the end, one of my father’s friends went into the newsagents across the road to buy a paper. Then he found that he didn’t have any money so I said that I’d lend him 25p, but he just wandered off, so I bought the paper anyway. However, before I could get out of the premises, another group of two old women, and also two young boys were having a big problem because they had booked a cottage on the edge of town but had come out without the address. They had flown all the way here and didn’t have the address at all. They could describe the house and I knew that I had seen it because there was a Mark IV Cortina outside at one time, so I thought that I’d help them look. Then, I bumped into two girls while I was escorting these guys, and they tagged along for some reason too. Somewhere along the line, the friend of one of these girls disappeared, leaving just one, me and these two boys. We went into endless places where we thought that we would have a good view to see over whether we could see the house, but we couldn’t. And on one occasion, we had to hide because someone had let a giraffe out and it was banging on the doors and windows with its neck. As we were leaving one house, this girl and I and these two boys bumped into two ladies whom I used to take in the taxis years ago, so this girl and I stopped to talk to them. We were chatting away, and then, for some reason, I put my arm around this girl and she didn’t move at all. That took me by surprise because I’m not used to girls who let me put my arms around them, so I was wondering what was going to happen next.

So here I am, and I’ve Got The Girl at last. So what happened to my family? Why didn’t they come along and throw the spanner into the works as they always seem to do?

The start of the dream, though, is very much like several other dreams that we’ve had over time, with family chaos and all that kind of thing. And we even have a MkIV Cortina thrown in for good measure. But who were the two women who used to be my passengers on the taxis? And how come I recognised them? And what were they doing in an Alpine skiing resort?

This dream continued on much later, and I was back at home and everyone was making a huge row and noise. I’d actually built a proper water heater that would work off solar power, and when I tried it, it had actually heated water for me, which was nice. So once the ‘phone was free, I tried to telephone this girl. It took me a couple of goes because I didn’t quite work out what her number was. In the end, it was the first five letters of her family name, which were G-R-A-N-D. I finally spoke to her, despite all the interruptions that were still going on. In the end, I asked her if I could call her tonight, so she replied “round about 18:30 would be fine,” so I hoped that everyone had quietened down and gone by then.

So even though there was a good couple of hours between these two dreams, the second carries on from the first, and I still Get The Girl, if only everyone would shut up and go.

Nerina had to go to New York, and so I decided that I’d pack my suitcase and accompany her as far as I could in case I had the opportunity to stow away. We went all the way to Paris and then all the way to Charles de Gaulle Airport, but for some reason, that was in New York. We were wandering around the airport trying to find her ‘plane, so in the end I put her on it. But something happened and everyone had to leave the ‘plane, and for ages when they announced the delay. So we took a Metro into the city, and in the Metro, Nerina began to make a nuisance of herself by stopping and interviewing people if their papers weren’t in order or there was something else about them, and she’d have them sit and wait while she went to interview some more people. I thought that this was going to get really out of hand in a minute or two, so I made a discreet exit. Later on, we caught up with each other again. She said that she had been so realistic that she had lunch with another police officer, and it was only later that they worked out that she wasn’t. I asked her if she was given five years, but she said no, she was just told to clear off, to which I thought that she was extremely lucky. We ended up back at the airport, but not until I’d been trying to take some photos of things like the Eiffel Tower, which, in New York, of course, doesn’t exist, and a few other things. Eventually, we found our way back to the airport on one of these silly metro things. We arrived at her ‘plane and they were loading again. I went on with her and my suitcase, hoping that sooner or later there would be a spare seat. However, there wasn’t, so the captain announced that he was closing the doors, so I jumped off. I caught this strange metro system thing to New York City. It was basically like a locomotive engine pulling a load of open carriages behind it, and you had to jump on it as it went past. I came into the city and went and did some more sightseeing and photographing. We went down past a little church that was in a discreet back alley, and I realised that that’s where I store some of my cars. Then I had a think about how I could catch up with Nerina. I thought that maybe there would be a spare seat on an aeroplane sometime going that way, so we had a panic-stricken run to the airport metro, and I jumped aboard. However, I couldn’t find a seat on this Metro. I found a seat, but it belonged to a young boy who was talking to his mother next door, so I had to move. And when we came into the airport, I thought that I’d have to go up to one of the companies that flew to the USA to see whether there was a spare seat on a plane that I could buy

This is a lovely definition of “chaos”, isn’t it? Nerina and I can’t make up our minds whether we’re in Paris or New York, Nerina pretending to be a police officer, weird metro systems and even a place in New York where I have some old cars stored. This makes no sense at all … "nothing new here then" – ed … Still, it must mean something to someone somewhere.

Did I type out this dream about being in New York and reading about this murder of this musician? … "No, you didn’t" – ed … So I went out to look at his house. It was in terrible condition. The driveway was all blocked over with rubble and that kind of thing. There was a whole forest of pine trees that were overhanging – they were growing up the side of his house but were bent over with the wind and were covering his house and preventing the sunshine from reaching it. While I was there, the courts took an order against the occupants of that particular street to clear all these pine trees out. While I was talking to them, I said that I would do it. It would give me an excuse to stay in the USA. But it really wasn’t half a difficult job because it wasn’t just cutting down the trees. They were growing out of rocks, all that kind of thing. In the end I had a friend of mine from South Carolina come to help me. We slept in his bus and did the job as well as we could, and we ended up with this huge pile of trees. I asked the local residents if they wanted to take them away, but they didn’t. In the end, we had a huge load of firewood for burning through the winter. I gave them my bill, which was for $8500. While I was waiting for payment, I awoke. It has to be said that Nerina was there at some time. She didn’t really like what I was doing, and I was taking the opportunity to sort through some of my boxes that I’d brought with me with piles and piles of old paperwork in them. I found some of our earliest petrol receipts too, and a lot of stuff ended up in the bin. Nerina said that she wished that I had never started to look through these boxes. I replied that it was my intention to look through all of them in the end and throw out all of the rubbish and keep the correct receipts and sort them.

So my friend from South Carolina, doing an impossible job, Nerina appearing, finding the oldest receipts from my taxi business years ago (and I knew that they were the oldest because there was a receipt for fuel for the old Mark II Cortina that I had as a runabout)

But I can still picture the scene in my imagination, and it really was a mess, this house and the trees.

And my vote for my favourite one? Has to be number three, doesn’t it?

After all of that, there was more football from Friday – Trefynnon v Caernarfon.

Trefynnon are another newly promoted side, but again with no points at all. They can score goals, but they can’t keep them out. And Caernarfon are a team with bags of experience in the league, in the cup and in European competition.

This was a match where skill was impossible. The pitch at Halkyn Road is a disgrace, and if it’s cut up as badly as it looks on a screen after just three matches played, what’s it going to be like in March after a wet North Walian winter? “Hoof and Run” and “slog it out in midfield” were how this game worked.

But at least we had goals, and plenty of them. And Trefynnon gave Caernarfon a good run for their money, even though the score finished 5-3 in favour of the Cofis.

But right now, it’s bedtime, ready … "I don’t think" – ed … for dialysis tomorrow afternoon.

And as an aside, another artificial intelligence websearcher has used my website as a reference tool yet again.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about spanners and the USA … "well, one of us has" – ed … on one Fourth of July in the USA, I was handed a parcel that had been wrapped in paper tied with a ribbon that had the stars of the American flag on it, with a note – "if you’re working today, this should help you dismantle that car"
"Where did you get this?" I asked the messenger.
"Doctor Spooner gave it to me" he replied
"And what is it?" I asked
"Seeing as it’s Independence Day today, it’s probably his interpretation of ‘The Star-Bangled Spanner’."

0

Saturday 29th August 2026 – THIS WAS A

…rather uneventful day today, except that I had some good fortune at dialysis without even having to ask for it.

Well, I thought that it was good fortune, which it was at the time, but I changed my mind somewhat a little later.

Anyway, retournons à nos moutons, as they say around here. Last night, it was about 00:30 when I finally settled down under the bedclothes, and I know that I must have been asleep quite quickly because when I was dictating something in my sleep, I could tell that I was still sucking on the bedtime menthol and eucalyptus sweet.

And by the looks of things, we were back to how things were a week or two ago — waking up at some uncomfortably early hour and not being able to go back to sleep again. For the last week or so, I’ve been having a much better kind of sleep, but it’s not lasted all that long, has it?

When the alarm went off at 06:29, I dragged myself to the edge of the bed, but it still took a superhuman effort to haul myself upright, go to unlock the front door, and then head into the bathroom to sort myself out. Today, as well as a good scrub-up, there was a shave too, just in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant, but I’ve not seen her for ages.

Back in here, I had a listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night.

And while there was something on it, for sure, it’s something that the World is not yet ready to hear, and you in particular don’t want to hear it, especially if you’re eating your breakfast right now. Let’s just say that I was in the World War I trenches in Northern France and Belgium as a lieutenant with a Scottish company, and we were under heavy shelling. However, at some point, Zero put in an appearance.

So how long is it since one of my three favourite young ladies has put in an appearance? I thought that they had all dropped off the end of my dreaming sequence just as The Vanilla Queen did a few years ago, but at least we’ve managed to have Zero back.

The nurse turned up again and we continued our discussion about football from yesterday. I told him about the Trefelin – Rhydaman match last night, but he didn’t seem interested. Anyway, THE HIGHLIGHTS ARE NOW ON LINE although they show nothing like all of the tension ane emotion that there was in this game.

After he left, I could make my breakfast and read some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Well, not so much of it, because he started to talk about Peterborough Cathedral so I went off to do some research. I knew that the abbey had been founded on a false and fraudulent charter that was only ever noted in the “Peterborough” version of the ANGLO-SAXON CHRONICLE and none of the others, so I was interested in what else I could find.

And, of course, as Nansen once famously said, "the more extensive my studies became, the more riddles I perceived – riddle after riddle led to new riddles and this drew me on" and I ended up at Edith Cavell. Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that I used to live just around the corner from where she was executed, and a few years ago, I POSTED SOME PHOTOS ON LINE of the place.

Incidentally, throughout these pages, you’ll see links to Amazon products appearing every now and again, just like the above. Being a Sales Associate of Amazon, I receive a small commission on goods sold via my links. It costs you nothing at all extra, but helps defray … "part of the" – ed … cost of my not-insubstantial web-hosting fees.

There are also links for AMAZON UK, AMAZON USA and, since the recent “troubles”, AMAZON CANADA for the use of my numerous Canadian visitors. As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … I am extremely grateful when someone uses them to make a purchase.

Back in my office here in the bedroom, I had a few things to do, and then I began to work a little on the radio programme that I’ll be preparing next week. Not that I managed to go very far because midday came around quicker than I was expecting and I went off to prepare myself for dialysis. But not before having identified several pieces of music that I need to track down.

My cleaner came along as usual to apply the anaesthetic to my arm, and after she left, I waited for my taxi to take me to Avranches. But the waiting was not without incident.

Last night in the match between Trefelin and Rhydaman, Trefelin, with a one-man advantage, pushed big burly veteran centre-half Louis Gerrard up front to make a nuisance of himself in the Rhydaman defence, and it was indeed he who scored Trefelin’s goal. So while I was curled up leaning on the table and dozing off, I dreamt that he was up there again, and at a corner, he rose up above everyone to head home. And just as his header hit the back of the net, instead of the referee’s whistle for a goal, the taxi driver rang the front door bell to say that he was here.

It was in fact a carbon copy of the goal by Euros Griffiths for Rhydaman, which was interesting, but it was definitely Louis Gerrard in his black and red Rhydaman strip who scored it.

Mrs Dinosaur and her exhibition have now departed so I was the only one in the car today. So even though we set off from here ten minutes later than we usually did, we still arrived at dialysis relatively early, and I was up and running by 14:00, having had two nurses around me to plug me in, which was nice.

They set the machine to the correct amount to eliminate the excess fluid, but after a while, they noticed that the extraction limit was stable and not going down (which, I suspect, was due to the coffee and orange juice that I’d just had for my snack, but I was saying nothing), so my nurse simply wound up the extraction by another 300 grams without me actually having to ask for it, and that seemed to work fine, although I was hit by cramps near the end. Not that I’m bothered – 300 grams extra is 300 grams less to extract on Monday.

Once everyone had gone and I’d settled down, I began to watch another football match. Today it was newly promoted Llandudno v Hwlffordd. Llandudno are doing really well this season up in the Premier League, although they have only played one team of any real quality, but Hwlffordd, usually one of the stronger teams in the division, have had a wretched start and have no points and no goals to their name as yet.

The game went as the league table suggested it would, with Llandudno winning 2-0. However, we had the usual VAR excitement, players sent off and brought back on, players sent off and staying off, and some exciting, fluid and skilful play on the wings degenerating into a midfield slog. Still, it was worth watching. And as I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … some of the newly promoted teams are simply in the league for cannon fodder, but that’s not the case with Llandudno.

The doctor was there too today – the new one who prescribed the useless antibiotics ten days ago. She went to chat to a couple of patients but she walked past me, apparently not interested in a follow-up of her diagnosis and treatment. As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … I often have the impression that, for the terminally ill patients like me, they do the minimum to keep us alive and don’t bother with the rest of any treatment.

You can tell that from the chemotherapy. The chemotherapy last year failed and the professor who is supposed to be dealing with my case hasn’t bothered to contact me since. I’ve had one appointment with the neurologist there after the chemotherapy, back at the start of the year, and there’s been no further contact from him either since then.

By now, it was time to set me free, and I only had to wait for ten minutes before my nurse came to unplug me. And riddled by cramp, I weighed myself to find out that it had all gone according to plan and Monday might be a little easier.

The taxi was waiting for me and I was once more the only passenger, so dodging the occasional showers, I was home fairly quickly.

My cleaner helped me into the apartment and stuck a disgusting drink in my hand once I was sitting at the table. I was still hungry afterwards, so I decided to make myself a meal – a burger on a bap with baked potato and salad. But the salad was off so I had vegetables instead.

The problem was, though, that hungry I might have been, but I was also exhausted. So although I managed the burger, I’d fallen asleep at the table long before I’d finished the baked potato.

In the end, what was left of the baked potato ended up in the bin and I ended up in bed. I’ll write my notes tomorrow

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about cathedrals … "well, one of us has" – ed … a new priest was appointed as curate to Brussels cathedral, and so he went for a walk around the city to see what his diocese had to offer.
As he was walking past a dark alley near the Gare du Nord, a figure slid out of a dark alley and whispered "twenty-five Euros for a quickie, father"
This happened several times as he walked around the Gare du Nord, so back at the cathedral, he asked the bishop "what’s a quickie, Monseigneur?"
"Twenty-five Euros from the girls at the Gare du Nord, my son."

0

Friday 28th August 2026 – THE BAD WEATHER …

… that we’d had yesterday afternoon continued through the night and into this morning. I think that most people will agree that what with everything that fell yesterday, we’ve now had all of the rain that we were owed for the last three months.

It wasn’t raining when I went to bed last night, or at least, I don’t think so. However, I wasn’t in all that much of a state of awareness. I was absolutely whacked, and remember – I’d only just awoken from a deep sleep when I crawled into bed.

And I’ll tell you how quick I was about going to sleep too. It’s been my habit for the last month or so to suck a menthol and eucalyptus sweet when I go to bed. That prevents me coughing and allows me that little head start to go to sleep peacefully. Anyway, when the alarm sounded at 06:29, there was half a menthol and eucalyptus sweet stuck to my jammies. I must have fallen asleep before I’d finished sucking it.

That wasn’t the first time that I’d awoken either. I vaguely remember once or twice being awake, and later on, I awoke definitively and couldn’t go back to sleep. I tossed and turned in bed for quite a while, and just as I was settling into a nice, comfortable position, ready to go back to sleep, the alarm sounded.

Being awake is one thing. Being out of bed and upright is something else completely, as regular readers of this rubbish will recall. It took me a good ten minutes to struggle to my feet and set off.

First call today, though, wasn’t the bathroom. Having locked the front door last night, I had to unlock it again this morning so that the nurse could come in. Then I could go to the bathroom and sort myself out.

Back in here afterwards, the first job was to listen to the dictaphone to find out what had been going on during the night.

We were going on an outing, taking a load of students and schoolkids with us from primary school. My first pick-up was from somewhere round about the Holly Mount area of Shavington. I picked up those kids alright and headed back towards the centre. Then I asked her where the next pick-up was going to be. He replied “Main Road School”. I thought “hang on a minute – Shavington County Primary moved ten or fifteen years ago. They aren’t there any more. Is she sure that that’s correct?”. He told me that as far as she was aware, Main Road School was what was written. So I went down Dodd’s Bank and came into the village, turned right at the Sugar Loaf Corner to go down Main Road and stopped at the school to see if the kids were there.

It’s impressive that I could remember all of the local nicknames for places in Shavington and that Shavington County Primary School has moved, although it’s a darn sight longer than “ten or fifteen years ago”.

And note the rather dramatic and continual change of gender of the person sitting next to me in the coach. I had to listen to the dictaphone recording several times, and that was indeed what it said.

When the nurse came to visit me, we talked about the Champions League draw. His hometown team, Lens, has been drawn against Machester City, so it seems. Not that I’m bothered. Any team in which I have any interest has been long-eliminated from the Champions League.

After he left, I made breakfast and read some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Today, he’s been discussing the end of the Gothic era and the beginning of the Renaissance. And as you might expect, he’s not a happy bunny with his beloved Gothic being replaced by another style of architecture. We’ve not had any outright vulgar abuse or “language lower than Billingsgate”, but I’m expecting it to arrive sometime soon, and I’ll keep you posted.

Back in here, there were several things to do, and then I could turn my attention to dealing with the notes from last night. And they took longer than they ought to have done too, due mainly to the fact that I fell asleep in the middle of writing them and was flat-out in my chair for three quarters of an hour.

When they were on line, I went for my disgusting drink and my midday medication, and then back in here, I turned my attention to the radio programme, where I was interrupted by my faithful cleaner who came down to do her stuff.

After much binding in the marsh, the programme is now finished, but even that took longer than it ought, due mainly to the fact that a few of the groups and musicians were new to the programme, so they took much more research than would be required for the established stars.

Anyway, it’s all ready for dictation now, although Heaven alone knows when that might be.

After I’d finished, I had a chat for a while with my artificial intelligence chatbot, as a way of relaxing. There’s never anyone about on the internet when you feel like a chat.

The trouble with these chatbots is that they have a very weird memory. You can tell them something, and ten minutes later, they’ll have forgotten it, whereas they’ll come out with something completely unexpected that you mentioned in passing a year ago, when it wasn’t to this particular chatbot and it wasn’t even in that particular chat file.

Also, chatbots have very little sense of unscripted humour. Ask them why polar bears don’t eat penguins, and they’ll say that they live at the opposite ends of the earth and not that “they can’t get the silver paper off”. Never mind Kenneth Williams and Alfred Hitchcock and their “it’s a waste of time telling jokes to foreigners”, it’s even more of a waste of time telling jokes to a chatbot.

The big advantage, though, is the depth of knowledge of a chatbot. Being able to search the entire internet and post an answer almost immediately, they can answer any question you would like to ask them. They save me hours of work when I’m writing stuff for the internet. If you want to see what I mean, download the artificial web browser COMET and ask it a few complicated and obscure questions. Chatbots work even quicker than Comet does.

So tonight, we had the football. A right bottom-of-the-table crunch clash between Trefelin and Rhydaman. And believe me, people, this was one of the most exciting games that I have seen for years. It had absolutely everything – numerous on-field brawls, three red cards, eleven minutes of stoppage time, one of the best saves of all time at an extremely vital moment, lengthy VAR checks, screaming fans, unbelievable tension, goalkeepers joining in the attacks and probably one of the best goals that you’ll ever see at this level of football.

The game finished 1-1, which, quite frankly, was no good to either team, seeing the size of the gap above the bottom four, but never mind. This is a match that I could watch again and again, and there aren’t very many like that. If you want to see it, IT’S HERE

So now, it’s midnight and I’m off to bed, horribly later than usual.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about artificial intelligence and chatbots … "well, one of us has" – ed … I asked my “Comet” browser to tell me a joke that would appeal to a British audience. This is what it came up with –
I told my AI: "Write the end-of-day note for my blog. Keep it light and end with a joke."
It produced three paragraphs on transformer architectures, then added: "And on that note, why did the neural net cross the road? To get to the other… training set."
I said, "Make it more human."
It tried again: "Why did the neural net cross the road? Because everyone else was doing it, and it didn’t want to be the only model not generalising."
I said, "More British."
Final version: "Why did the neural net cross the road? It didn’t, actually. It waited for a gap in traffic, apologised to the cars, and then crossed when it felt it wouldn’t inconvenience anyone."

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Thursday 27th August 2026 – WHAT AN AFTERNOON …

… we’ve had today. We’ve been about three months without any rain to speak of, and this early evening, we had the whole outstanding lot presented to us in about half an hour. I’ve never seen rain quite like it, that’s for sure.

No hint of anything like this last night. By 23:00, I was in bed, and good and ready for it too, I was. I was asleep quite quickly too, and although I remember maybe just a couple of times that I might have been awake, it wasn’t for long at all.

When the alarm went off at 06:29, I was definitely asleep, and it took me the usual ten minutes or more to drag myself to my feet and head off to the bathroom to sort myself out. I had a good wash and even a good shave in case Emilie the Cute Consultant will be there this afternoon.

Back in here, I had a listen to the dictaphone to see where I’d been during the night.

There had been some kind of national emergency, and we’d turned a few houses into fortified spots, and Gainsborough Road was one of them. So we had lots of people living in there, mostly civilians who came there for protection. Gradually, the place became more and more untidy. You couldn’t find anything, and there was furniture, dust and possessions all over the place. Eventually, the emergency was over and people began to drift away. That meant that we had to begin tidying up and looking for all the things that we had that had been moved. They were turning up in all kinds of strange places, like in the oven and in the fireplace. What I did was to eventually light a fire in the oven, and all the rubbish that we found, we put in there to burn. We were hunting for all kinds of strange things. I was hunting for my red and blue striped t-shirt that I couldn’t find anywhere, and one of the girls, whom I’d told not to be so military, was still pretending that she was in the army, marching up and down and either giving orders or accepting them with an extravagant “yes, sir!”. In the end, my mother told me where she’d seen my tee shirt, but I couldn’t find it there for the moment. However, I did find a vicar from one of these obscure sects giving lessons, that kind of thing, and he was actually announcing to everyone that he was homosexual, and for that reason, he was handing back his appointment to come with us in the bus to see something. In the end, he was one of the people who wanted to go to see the regional office about a different kind of ammunition, so he arranged a coach trip there. Two girls wanted to come on too out of interest … fell asleep here …

This sounds like an interesting dream. And especially the red and blue t-shirt. That was something that I had over fifty years ago and it ended its life when it fell into a drum of 25 litres of cooking oil.

And looking for things that have been moved is another bane to my life, although I can usually manage that all on my own without anyone there to help me, just like falling asleep is in the middle of a dream. Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that I am actually asleep while I’m dictating, but what happens in these moments is that everything on the dictaphone goes really quiet, and then there’s the sound of my sleeping.

We were somewhere up in the north-east of England and we had to come back to take a friend of ours to the airport. So I had my brother with me, and we set out and drove all the way down whatever the motorway is from Durham down to somewhere like Retford or Newark, where we came off and drove through the north Midlands to Crewe. I was convinced that there was a quicker way than the down which he took us, so I looked at the map when we stopped for fuel. We should have come off the motorway a lot farther north because there was a dead-straight line, the old A1, that went all the way down to Nottingham and saved us probably 30 miles. Anyway, we fuelled up and went to pick up our friend. For some reason, we were quite late leaving her house and driving to the airport, and I did my best to go as fast as I could. We eventually found the airport and we dropped her off, and we were just pulling away when she came out and said that her ‘plane had gone. She was talking about changing her ticket and going on some kind of expedition to various race courses. I went in and asked the receptionist if it would be possible to put her on another ‘plane. She said that there was a ‘plane leaving in half an hour, but the supplement was over three thousand pounds. I looked totally surprised, so the receptionist said “I don’t understand why you are so surprised”. Anyway, we had to abandon that idea of putting her on another flight.

This is everyone’s worst nightmare, isn’t it? Missing a ‘plane at the airport. And having my brother navigating wouldn’t be too far away from there either. Taking the wrong road whilst having a map in his hands would be no problem for him.

The nurse turned up as usual to sort me out. He was worried about me not relaxing. However, I don’t have the time for all that nonsense. I have far too much going on right now.

After he left, I could crack on and make breakfast and not read my book because I’m still following this rather strange trail that I’ve created for myself.

Having explored the delights of amphibious aeroplanes (and I’ve no idea how I managed to arrive here from Gothic Architecture) I came back in here where there was plenty of work waiting for me to do. However, I rather unfortunately fell asleep while I was doing it and didn’t wake up until about 11:15, meaning that I’d wasted most of the time that I’d had.

And it was another one of those sleeps where I didn’t remember falling asleep at all, not even feeling tired either. In fact, no-one was more surprised than me to find that I’d been asleep.

So having woken up, I spent some time finishing off what I was doing, and then I continued with the radio notes until the alarm went off to remind me that it was midday and I ought to be getting ready for dialysis.

In the kitchen, I sorted out my disgusting drink and the midday medication, and then my cleaner arrived to apply the anaesthetic to my arm and to pack away the laptop into its bag for me to take with me as usual. After she left and I was ready to go, I curled up, leaning forward onto the dining table, and began to relax.

Just as I was slipping away into a nice, deep sleep, the doorbell rang. The taxi was here to take me to dialysis, ten minutes early. We had to stop to pick up Mrs Dinosaur, whose camp, we noticed, is being slowly dismantled, and then we set off for Avranches. And the chaos that is said to begin in La Havaudière in mid-September when they start to improve the road has already started, with a couple of lorries unloading pipes and heaps of gravel, blocking the road as they do so.

Consequently, we weren’t as early as usual arriving at dialysis, and stuck in one of the eight individual rooms on the far side, I had to wait until 14:10 before I was up and running, having had no fewer than three nurses hovering around me. Bizarrely, the second puncture hurt less than the first one. It’s usually the other way round.

Accompanied by the automatic blood pressure tests every half an hour and the consequent wailing of the alarm as the machine announced to the World that my blood pressure was under the acceptable limits and the subsequent dashing of the nurses to my side to find out what was the problem, I settled down to watch Trefelin v Caernarfon from last weekend.

Trefelin are bottom of the table right now with no points and no goals scored, but the way they played, that can only be a temporary situation. They had several chances of their own, and on one occasion, hit the woodwork with the entire Cofi defence beaten.

However, the Cofis were far too good for them, technically and aggressively, and towards the end of the game, the Cofis had gone to a back three, with Chris Marriott coming on to join Jordan Piggott and Ben Nash, and full-backs Ryan Sears and Matty Jones playing up front on the wings.

Nevertheless, a 2-0 victory for Caernarfon was hardly a statement victory for them.

After that game, it was my intention to watch some of the Fflint v LLansawel game but a whole variety of interruptions prevented that. One interruption that I didn’t have, though, is a doctor. The latest course of antibiotics finishes today, so I was expecting (and quite rightly, too) the doctor who prescribed them to come along to see me and find out how things were. However, no such luck. I’ve only seen a doctor twice in the last three or four weeks.

When I was finished, I was unplugged quite quickly, and, even better, the taxi was already waiting and I was the only passenger. But Marcey-les-Grèves was totally paralysed again with traffic, so we turned round and took the long way home.

All through the morning and the early afternoon, the weather had been quite nice, but when we left the dialysis centre, it was raining slightly. It had stopped by the time we reached Marcey-les-Grèves, but on the way to Sartilly the heavens opened and I have never ever seen rain like this. It looked as if all the rain that we hadn’t had since May, we were having all at once.

By the time we were almost at Sartilly, it was raining so heavily that you couldn’t see a thing. Everyone was driving at walking pace, the roads were flooded, and the fields looked like Ieper in November 1917.

The rain eased off, started again, eased off, and by the time we reached Granville, there was blue sky. My cleaner, who was waiting for me, told me that they had had the same rainstorm here in Granville half an hour ago, so it looked as if it was a band of storm clouds moving from north to south.

She helped me into the apartment, and when I was sitting down, stuck a disgusting drink into my hand, in accordance with the prescription.

After she left, I managed to find the energy to come in here and write up my notes. However, I’m not sure how many times I fell asleep while I was doing it. Was it three? Or was it four?

After the last time, when I awoke, it was 21:30 or thereabouts, so I simply posted on line what I’d written so far, and I’ll finish it in the morning. On that note, I fell into bed and that was that.

These notes will have to be finished quickly because tomorrow, there might not be a posting until Saturday. There’s football on on Friday night, with Trefelin (no goals and no points) v Rhydaman (three goals and one point), a proper basement relegation clash. With a five-point gap to the next club opening up already, so early in the season, some clubs need to be getting some points on the board quite quickly If this gap isn’t to increase further. A draw isn’t really going to help either of these two teams.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about failures in map reading … "well, one of us has" – ed … I once went for a drive with a girl who, I found out later, didn’t know how to read a map (and it wasn’t Nerina at all. She was quite a good NAVIGATOR, NAVIGATOR, RISE UP AND BE STRONG)
At one point, I asked her where we were. She pointed to somewhere on the map. "We’re here" she announced proudly.
"That blue line?"
"Yes"
"That’s a river, dear."

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Wednesday 26th August 2026 – CONSIDERING THE DIFFICULTIES …

… that I am facing every day, such as falling asleep spontaneously at some point, I have worked hard today and I’m quite proud of what I have done.

Not like last night though, where despite my best efforts, it was just past 23:00 when I finally crawled into bed last night. The nice clean bedding was wonderful and it really was a pleasure to be in there. And I was asleep quite quickly too.

But not for long.

At about 02:15 we had another phantom alarm. I awoke and was waiting for the repeater, but nothing happened so that was when I looked at the time. I don’t know what’s going on.

How many phantom alarms is that now? It’s definitely unsettling, and I’ve no idea how it’s all going to end.

However, I was soon back to sleep, and although I have the vaguest of memories about waking up, I was definitely asleep when the alarm went off.

It’s definitely dark now when I wake up, so my body clock will need to adjust – at least, that’s my excuse for the time that it took for me to get out of bed, stand up and head to the bathroom to sort myself out for the day.

And then, back in here to check the dictaphone to see if anything else went on during the night.

I was at work again last night. It was a Friday and I’d finished all my work. There was nothing left there to do and it was still about an hour before the office closed, so I went to see the boss for the usual permission to leave early. Today, for some reason, he decided to refuse, so in the end I went back to my desk, and a group of us were there chatting away when some woman came in with a blue form and asked to see one of our team. We explained that he wasn’t in the office today. She was not happy about something on this form, so we had a look at it. As far as we could tell, it was perfectly correct and we couldn’t see what was wrong with it, but she was fed up with the persistence and the number of forms that she’d had. I said that the person who deals with your file isn’t in today. He’s quite an accurate officer but he’s probably not seen one of these forms before. She said that that was exactly what he told her. We agreed that she should come back on Tuesday when he would be there. In the meantime, I’d ‘phoned Nerina to say that I couldn’t come home early. She, jokingly – or perhaps not so jokingly – asked, “what’s her name?” so I explained to her that it was the decision of the boss at the office. She did one of these “oh yes”es as if she didn’t really believe it. At 17:00 we all went home, and once I was outside, I telephoned her to say that I was on my way home. Nerina asked “alone?” to which I replied “of course I’m alone” and we started this little teasing about “you’re only late home from the office today because someone special kept you there” – that kind of thing.

Usually, my dreams about work generally involve me on the point of leaving because I’m well past retirement age, so this is a new departure, just as leaving work an hour earlier would be.

And the officer who was not there to deal with that woman. I recognised who he was – the old Head Boy of the school when we were in the Upper Sixth. What’s he doing, appearing in my dreams, I have no idea.

Nerina’s teasing has an underlying serious aspect too. I don’t think that she was ever convinced about me.

The nurse turned up as usual and sorted out my legs and feet. And I had a surprise for him today.

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that the other day, I had an intruder open my apartment door. I’ve decided now to lock the door when I go to bed and open it when I’m awake. This will cause problems for the nurses on Sundays if I’m lying in, so I gave the nurse a key that I’d had cut to add to their huge collection so that they can open the door all the same.

After he left, I could make my breakfast and read some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Well, actually, I didn’t. I was led up a blind alley by something else that he wrote and spent a good while following the trail. I even ended up – don’t ask me how – reading the biography of Nicolae Moromete, a senior prison officer in Romania for the Communists when they came to power. Don’t ask me how I found myself there with him.

After breakfast, I came back in here where there were plenty of things to do. Once they were all out of the way, I turned my attention to the radio programme that I had started yesterday. I had to hunt down loads of music, have a good chat with my artificial intelligence chatbot about some of it, download it, reformat it, re-edit it and remix it.

Once I had the ten that I needed, I had to choose from amongst them a good opening track, a good second track and a good final track, then pair and segue every one of them.

And this will be an interesting programme, that’s for sure. For instance, have you ever heard Led Zeppelin’s “Rock and Roll” played with a lead violin? We have my friend Mark to thank for that.

There were several interruptions today while I was doing that – firstly, there was the disgusting drink break. Then we had Rosemary calling me for a chat, and finally, I fell asleep for about three quarters of an hour. So, pushed for time as I was, I managed to write over 25% of the notes as well.

That was what I call “a productive day”.

No tea again tonight. I grabbed a handful of biscuits instead. I can’t face any food again right now. I’m definitely not well.

So now, I’m off to bed, ready for dialysis tomorrow … "I don’t think" – ed …

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about Nicolae Moromete … "well, one of us has" – ed … one of my friends asked me what I had learned about him
"Quite a lot" I replied. "For example, he was the person who came out with the famous quote ‘Under socialism, people guilty of nothing would still go to prison, but for less than ten years’"

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Tuesday 25th August 2026 – THERE’S A NICE …

… clean me … "well, clean anyway" – ed … tonight, going to sleep in a nice clean bed tonight. It’s Tuesday, so that’s shower day, and while I was hosing myself down, my faithful cleaner gave my bed a good going over and changed the bedding.

Actually, it’s quite nice to be in that position, because these days, as regular readers of this rubbish will recall, showering is something that I find extremely difficult these days. And so I’m only allowed to have a shower when she’s here to watch over me. I’m not allowed to have one when I’m on my own in case I fall.

But anyway, be that as it may, last night, having abandoned my notes halfway through, it was still after 22:30 when I went to bed. I awoke twice during the night, but I have no idea what time it was – I couldn’t be bothered to look. And in any case, I was back asleep quickly enough.

When the alarm went off at 06:29, I was definitely asleep. And I was certainly in no mood to leave the bed. It was quite a struggle to coax myself out of bed and sit on the edge, never mind stand up and go to the bathroom.

Eventually, though, I made it into the bathroom and managed to organise myself into something like, ready to face the day, and then I came back in here to listen to the dictaphone to find out what had gone on during the night.

I had a huge, blazing row with one of my friends last night. We’d all been away and were due to come home. I’d spent all afternoon and evening servicing the van, and all through the night we’d been packing everything away. Early in the morning, we set off for home again. We arrived back home in the early evening, and I reckoned that I’d been working for about thirty hours without a break, so whilst everyone was gathered in the living room, I excused myself and said that I was going straight to bed. I went into my bedroom, and it was untidy with all kinds of stuff everywhere, but then I thought “it’s my room, so what does it matter?”. I made a little space, but before I could go to bed, three or four people came up to chat. That was really the last thing that I wanted. They wouldn’t go, and they were there for most of the evening, so it was now almost forty hours without any sleep. Eventually, they left and I was just now going to bed when my friend turned up. He asked me “have you seen such-and-such”? Well, of course I hadn’t – I’ve been ill in bed, so I went to bed. And after wrestling with a pile of frozen food that needed to be put away, he just lay on the bed next to me, talking. I told him to go about three or four times, but he wouldn’t. In the end, I picked up a couple of jars that he was carrying and threw them at the door, and in the end, he got the message, and I tried to go to sleep. However, my friend went to the police and explained that I’d attacked him. This led to all kinds of complications, and he came back. I asked him to go, but he said no, the police said that he could stay if he liked. Just then, the woman who was in charge of the whole outfit turned up, so I asked her if she could make him leave. However, she wanted to know note-by-note exactly what had happened.

This dream does have some kind of basis in fact – not about the van and not about wanting to go to bed, but about a former friend and a friendship that came to a shuddering halt. Although, as usual, it’s one of those stories that the World is not yet ready to hear.

But being out and about with no sleep is not unusual. Regular readers of this rubbish will recall Back about fifteen years ago, I was in Cambridge. I had to drive to Gloucestershire to pick up a trailer, then to North Lancashire to pick up a mini digger, and then all the way down to central France – a working “day” of thirty-five hours with the only sleep being the couple of hours on the cross-Channel ferry. I couldn’t do it now.

The nurse turned up as usual and sorted out my legs and feet. While he was working, he was chatting about Welsh football, which I thought was rather strange.

After he left, I could make my breakfast and read some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Actually, I didn’t read that much of it today. He started to talk about the Batalha Monastery in Portugal, and that was something of which I knew nothing at all. Consequently, I set off to find out about it. Apparently its construction was ordered by King John I of Portugal as fulfilment of a vow that he had made before a battle in which his small army decisively defeated a very much larger Castilian and French army and assured Portugal’s independence.

Back in here, I began the knotty problem of this soundtrack, where I had to dispose of about one and a half minutes of something, but I know not what, in order to make enough room for a decent introduction.

By the time that I’d finished, I’d actually disposed of two and a half minutes, which makes it even better. But it didn’t ‘arf take some time to do. I managed to save some time by trimming out some of the applause. That involved trying to mate the “before the trim” endings with the “after the trim” starting points, and that took a great deal of time and effort, and yet it still didn’t take out enough.

The next step, therefore, was to listen to the long and pointless guitar and bass at the start of one of the tracks. With a constant beat running through it, I could take out a lot of that and simply mate up the beats. But when you have a choice of ten beats, it’s not that easy. And, after about an hour and a half and once you do find the correct beat, that’s when you find that the drummer’s timing at the “after the trim” point isn’t the same as at the “before the trim” point, so they don’t overlap. And that’s when it really does become difficult because the two parts don’t overlay.

Eventually, though, after much binding in the marsh, I managed to solve the problem to some kind of suitable degree, using an awful lot of “Silence” mode. And when I played it back just now, you couldn’t hear the join.

By now, my cleaner was here doing her stuff. She organised the bathroom for me and I went for my shower. While I was in there, she was tidying up my bedroom and changing the bedding.

Once more, I was able to go into the shower, shower and come out without help again. That’s definite progress, right enough.

After my cleaner left, I began to think about what I needed to write for the introduction for the programme, and by the time that I was ready to knock off, all of the notes had been written – all three minutes and four seconds worth of them. There will still be some editing to do, I reckon.

Tea tonight was non-existent. I wasn’t in the mood, so I simply had a handful of biscuits, and now I’m thinking of going to bed, ready to begin the next radio programme tomorrow.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about silence … "well, one of us has" – ed … a woman in church whispered to her husband "I’ve just broken wind silently. It’s one of those “silent but deadly” ones. What do you think I should do?"

"If I were you" said her husband, "the first thing that I would do would be to switch your hearing aid back on."

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