… in the dictionary to describe the football that was on offer this evening down the road in Brehal.
I had the choice to go and watch US Granville in action against Lorient II but decided to come here to arural football match as it’s bound to be more intimate.
However, we were a “crowd” – it that’s the correct term to use, of just four here in the stadium to watch La Brehalaise III tackle A.S. Montaigu Les Bois La Blouti in a match from the Manche League Division 4, and there is no Division lower than this.
I’d seen in the schedule of results that despite their mid-table position, La Brehalaise had demolished a couple of other teams, scoring 9 and 10 goals here and there.
But I wonder what on earth they must have been like, because I couldn’t find the words to describe the football here tonight.
Dreadful was something of an understatement. It was like watching kids in Junior school running around in the playground in some kind of aimless chase after the ball.
From the kickoff, Brehal had a shot on goal – quite a soft shot as it happened, but the A.S. Montaigu Les Bois La Blouti keeper failed to stop it going through his hands, failed to grab it as it rebounded (twice) off his body, missed it as he dived for the loose ball, and it was cleared away by his defenders.
That would have been the clue for the Brehal players to pepper the goal with shots from just about everywhere but for the next 85 minutes, they had just three shots, not one of which went anywhere near the goal.
They had a centre-forward who insisted on hanging onto the ball at every opportunity instead of passing, and I don’t know whether one of the wingers had stolen his wife or something, but whenever the winger worked his way into a good position to receive the ball, the centre-forward turned his back on him and looked in the opposite direction.
It was no surprise that at half-time, A.S. Montaigu Les Bois La Blouti went into the dressing room 2-0 up. I can’t remember the goals now but they were simple efforts that had come about by the defence of La Brehalaise falling asleep.
Now here’s a thing that you don’t see every day.
Each team has to supply its own linesman and A.S. Montaigu Les Bois La Blouti came with a female linesman, or lineswoman … "try “linesperson”" – ed.
But one thing that we didn’t have was a pie hut. How can you possibly have a French social occasion without a buvette? I shan’t be going there again!
The second half started off again and we were treated to a superb goal from A.S. Montaigu Les Bois La Blouti. A free kick right around the defensive wall and despite a magnificent dive from the keeper, there we were.
After that, A.S. Montaigu Les Bois La Blouti seemed to switch off and they almost came undone because in the dying minutes of the game we had two breakaways upfield from La Brehalaise and they scored two goals from one-on-ones with the A.S. Montaigu Les Bois La Blouti keeper.
How things could have been different if they had attacked the goal from the start.
As for my start, it was another early one. 06:00 in fact. And after breakfast I cracked on with more stuff that needed doing.
That took me up until midday or so when I headed to Granville and the LeClerc for a pile of shopping, and the boulangerie over the road for bread for the weekend.
Once I’d bought what I needed, I headed for the seaside. Today was Coudeville-Plage, just down the road at Coudeville-sur-Mer, which is another one of those “sur mer” towns stranded a couple of miles from the sea due to the silting up of the coast.
The weather had changed today too. It was rather cloudy and overcast – nothing like the beautiful week that we had just had since I’ve been back.
I could sit and eat my butty on a bench situated on top of a dune and I was quite comfortable here. There wasn’t as much wind about as over the last couple of days.
There was a good view of Granville away over there in ste distance, and you can see that dismal building at Donville les Bains where I went to see that dreadful studio.
You might have forgotten about that one – after all, I have seen so many ruins – but I haven’t.
Right in front of me, away in the distance were the Iles de Chausey – an archipelago of which there are more at low tide than at high tide. Closely related to the Channel Islands further up, they were kept out of English hands by having been given to the monks of Mont St Michel in 1022, prior to the Norman conquest of England.
While I was busy admiring the view, Liz and Terry turned up and we went for a walk and a coffee (or two) along the promenade and watched all the people. The weather cleared up a little too, which was nice.
When I returned to Caliburn I had quite a surprise.
Someone had left a note on the windscreen wanting to talk about wind turbines. So I now have an appointment for Monday. As I have said before … "and you will say again" – ed … this vehicle advertising really works.
But despite my carping about the standard of play at the football this evening, I am the first to be aware that I have had a free evening’s entertainment thanks to the players and officials who turned out for the match, and I am very grateful.
