Category Archives: Marcillat-en-Combraille

Monday 27th October 2014 – RED SKY AT NIGHT …

sunset auzances creuse birdwatching ornithological centre st gervais d'auvergne puy de dome france… means that Auzances is on fire.

Yes, on the way back home this evening as the sun was setting, I stopped off at my favourite haunt, the St Gervais Ornithological Centre to take one or two photos. The sun setting below the horizon in the clouds in the general direction of Auzances was particularly impressive.

birdwatching ornithological centre st gervais d'auvergne puy de dome franceThe view in the opposite direction, while not being quite as spectacular, was nevertheless quite impressive in its own right.

Here, with the evening drawing on and the damp mist slowly rising out of the fields, the Puy de Dome looks as if it is slowly disappearing from view behind a kind of diaphanous veil. It gives a completely different aspect to this view, of which you have seen dozens of examples over the years.

This morning we went to record the Radio Anglais programmes at Marcillat-en-Cembraille for Radio Tartasse. We had a few technical issues but they were resolved by simply returning to the very first version of the studio’s computer program. This new upgrade has caused nothing but problems.

We went from there to Clermont-Ferrand and the Auchan where I did a big pile of shopping. I’d run out of oats for my muesli and lentils for my curries, and so I needed to stock up. I also took advantage of the proximity of the Auchan to the recording studios at Gerzat to do a mega-shop.

The radio session at Gerzat went surprisigly well – in fact four programmes of 15 minutes each took just 1 hour and 5 minutes to record in total. It’s never happened like this before and I wish that it had happened like this that time just before I went to Canada.

Afterwards, we celebrated by going for coffee at Menetrol and doing a lap around the Carrefour there to buy the things that I had forgotten.

And after dropping Liz off, I came home via the birdwatching site at St Gervais d’Auvergne.

Tonihgt, I’ve enrolled in another Higher Education course. The University of Birmingham, in its Future Learn Programme is offering a course in the Development of Aviation in World War I and there was a free place even though the course started a week ago. This kind of thing is right up my Alley as you know and I couldn’t resist the opportunity.

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Tuesday 26th August 2014 – WHAT A FLAMING SHAMBLES!

Absolutely!

This afternoon at Gerzat we had about 2.5 hours to record our radio programmes for Radio Arverne before I needed to leave to catch my train. 6 programmes this week, which meant that we would need about 2 hours or so.

Normally we would arrive there at about 14:00 and so our 2 hours would take us up to 16:00 leaving plenty of time for my train at Riom at 17:06. However, thinge never normally go according to plan and so we set out earlier, arriving at 13:45. I’d also had some kind of premonition and so on our way down to Gerzat we had stopped at the railway station at Riom so that I could pick up my ticket and so miss the rush-hour rush.

And I’m glad that we did, too.

When we arrived at the radio station, the junior engineer was outside smoking a cigarette. And inside at the office, the secretary told us that it was indeed the junior engineer who would be recording us. “Ahh well”, we breathed a sigh of relief. “He’ll be here in a minute”. That was famous last words, wasn’t it?

By 14:10 I was starting to become restless so I told the secretary how pressed we were for time. She phoned him up and then told us that he would be here in a minute.

By 14:25 I told the secretary that to call him again and tell him that at 16:30 we were walking out, regardless of wherever we were in the programmes.

Anyway, he turned up at just before 14:30 and by 14:34 we were ready to go. At least, some of us were. The engineer had a friend in the recording booth with him and was too busy chatting to see our cues. Every cue was missed and at one stage we overran because he had failed to give us our time signal.

As a result, at 16:30 precisely, we upped and went, even though the final programme was only half-way recorded. How they intend to finish it, I really don’t know, but ask me if I care.

For a change, everything went well-according to plan at Marcillat with Radio Tartasse. It’s usually there that we have our major issues but today, everything was ready and passed off without a hitch, even if I did forget to take my memory stick with me (good job I had the laptop in Caliburn).

It was nice to see Liz and Terry again after all these weeks and to talk to them about their holiday, and Terry gave me some really good news. Apparently Toolstation, Screwfix’s big rival, has now opened for business in France. They don’t stock the range of goods that Screwfix stocks, but from what I have seen, their prices for what they do carry are cheaper. I’ll be interested to see how their prices compare to Brico Depot. Anyway, it’s nice to see one of the major UK D-I-Y suppliers taking the initiative in France.

local train riom chatel guyon lyon perrache puy de dome franceAt Riom Station, my train came in on time. It’s been upgraded from the original rattletrap to something more modern, but it was jam-packed with people. There wasn’t a spare seat on the train. I’ve no idea what was happening there.

And not only was it on time leaving Riom, it was actually on time arriving at Lyon Part-Dieu too. And I felt so much better when we arrived too – leaving all of this mess behind.

TGV lyon part dieu france
However, being on time at Lyon was more than can be said for the TGV. It was 10 minuts late pulling into the station. And the fact that I’m passing comment on it shows you just how unusual this is. Normally, the trains run bang to time.

And while the luggage space was comparatively full, there were quite a few empty seats on the train. Not like last year when we were crammed in like sardines.

So by the time we got to Phoe … errr … Lille we were 27 minutes late, 3 minutes short of the magic 30 minutes that gives me a 25% return on my ticket. And now I’m in my hotel – a 10 minute walk from the TGV station. I’ve had a hot shower and I’m off to bed.

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Monday 23rd June 2014 – WELL, ONE OF US …

… that is, Terry or Yours Truly, is in league with the devil, that’s for sure.

For about two or three weeks we’ve been working on this concrete here and thee has hardly been a drop of rain while it’s all been going on, but today, with the work finished for now, I was awoken at 06:20 by the most astonishing thunderstorm and it’s been raining cats and dogs all day. Half an inch of rain we’ve had so far, and there’s planty more to come.

So without the benefit of a decent sleep, I was up and about quite early which was just as well, as we had 14 – yes FOURTEEN – radio programmes to record today. You can see how much work I’ve been doing.

I started off at Marcillat and Radio Tartasse at 09:30 and recorded 4 of the rock music programmes that we do – 2 of the normal ones and two of the live concert performances that I have taken to mixing and engineering myself at home. Liz xame to join me a little later (and it was a little later as she was having car problems) and we recorded four episodes of our information programmes.

Back at Liz’s house I had a look at her Golf but I couldn’t get the thing to go either in the limited time available, and we went off to Gerzat after lunch for Radio Arverne where we recorded 6 of our information programmes.

So that’s the radio done until the end of August which is just as well as Liz is off on her hols in 2 weeks’ time and won’t be back until the end of August. Just in time for us to record another marathon 14 programmes and then I’m heading off to Montreal and Canada again.

Liz fetched a mechanic out from her local garage to look at the Golf – after all, they are supposed to have “repaired” it last time this happened. He started the car (and I’m not going to tell you how because it will only give you all ideas) and drove it back to the garage where they will sort it out, and I came home in the tropical downpour.

I wonder if it will ever clear up?

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Monday 26th May 2014 – THIS IS ASTONISHING …

… but here I am at 22:15 on a Monday evening and in a minute I’ll be off to bed.

Clearly something’s up, although I’m not quite sure what, and I did have a little something of a late night last night but nevertheless …

And the weather doesn’t help at all. It’s been raining for almost all of the day and this afternoon we’ve had some terrific rainstorms – coming back between Gouttieres and Pionsat I could hardly see the road.

So this morning I was up early and in Marcillat-en-Combraille for the Radio Tartasse version of Radio Anglais. And we had the usual shambolic performance that is becoming something of a trademark these days and it’s a good job that I’m engineering my own rock music programmes, for Heaven alone knows what they might be like.

Terry’s big Ifor Williams trailer was in Pionsat at Simon’s so I had to pick that up on the way back and drop it off on Terry, and then Liz and I made our way down to Gerzat for the Radio Arverne sessions.

Bernard for some reason wasn’t there and Philippe, the young apprentice, was there waiting for someone else (it seems that they had forgotten about us). But the someone else didn’t turn up so Philippe did the engineering for us. It took ages as he didn’t really know how our shows work but eventually it finished, only for Philippe to find out that the studio calendar was on the wrong page and we were indeed expected after all.

So what happened there I really don’t know.

So braving the rainstorms, I’m back home and I’m off to bed. I’ve had enough for today.

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Monday 28th April 2014 – WE’VE BEEN RADIOING …

… today.

First off was to record the rock music shows that I do, which means that I needed to be in Marcillat by 09:30 this morning. Liz came to join me at 10:00 to record a month’s work of the Radio Anglais information programmes.

We went round to Liz’s for lunch – some of the left-over aubergine and spaghetti casserole from Saturday, and went down to Gerzat to record the Radio Anglais sessions for Radio Arverne.

While we were in Gerzat we had to track down a parcel that had not been delivered. We tracked down the depot where it was kept, and they tracked down the parcel. It seems that the address on the parcel was incorrect, hence the non-delivery, so we’ll let them off this time.

But it was nice and sunny down there and what was so ironic was that we could see the thick black clouds over the Combrailles from there.
“I bet that those clouds are right over our houses” said Liz, and she was right too. Torrential rain up here.

The parcel was the towbar for Terry’s new Jeep and so once he had checked it over and was satisfied, he said “have you got half an hour?”. So while Liz was sorting out some surplus strawberry and raspberry plants for my soft fruits bed in exchange for me having driven her in search of this parcel, Terry and I fitted the towbar.

Liz cooked a tea for us, which was always very welcome, and then I came home.

And now I have more gardening to do for tomorrow.

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Saturday 19th April 2014 – I’VE JUST SEEN …

… one of the best football matches for ages. No football at Pionsat tonight so I went to Marcillat en Combraille who were playing Mercy-Chapeau. An excellent game that finished 3-3 but Mercy can consider themselves robbed of a victory. 2 of AS Marcillat’s goal came from free kicks, one of which I wouldn’t have awarded and the second I would have awarded, but in the other direction.

And I have at last seen a player in the Allier who I would pick for FC Pionsat St Hilaire. Mercy-Chapeau’s n°5, playing at the heart of the defence, was big, quick, intelligent and commaanding and if Pionsat could find a player like him, they wouldn’t have anything like the issues that they are having now.

Apart from that, after breakfast I tidied up in here. Not much, it has to be said, but just a little but at least the table is clean and tidy and I’ve vacuumed the floor round by where I sit. Not with the new vacuum cleaner – I’ve yet to try that out – but with the 12-volt cylinder vacuum cleaner that I found again the other day.

In St Eloy les Mines, I did the shopping and at Carrefour they had 12 lettuce for €2:60 and the brasica was reduced to €3:95 for 10 so I bought some sprouts to go with the cabbage I planted a few weeks ago. They will be in the garden on Tuesday when I restart work.

I noticed today as well that the lettuce seed that I sowed in a tray – there’s signs of life in there as of this afternoon. That looks quite optimistic as I was beginning to think that I’ve been wasting my time with the gardening effort this year. Only the courgettes (and then only some of those) seemed to have done anything.

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Monday 24th March 2014 – THAT SNOW THAT WE HAD …

… didn’t last very long. It was already melting rapidly when I awoke (early, for once) and it had soon all gone.

Which was just as well, for we were radioing today. I recorded the rock music programme at Marcillat at 09:30 and then Liz and I did the current affairs programmes. From there we went round to Liz’s for lunch (and if you remember the car in the ditch from a couple of months ago, it now seems to have become a rather permanent feature of the landscape).

After lunch we went to Gerzat to record the Radio Anglais programmes for Radio Arverne and, having stopped to fuel up Caliburn on the way back, we were back at Liz’s for 17:00.

Just by way of a change, I spent some time helping Liz create a spredsheet and I showed her a few formulae. Long-term readers of this rubbish will recall that it was inter alia due to what I knew about spreadsheets that I had that job working for that weird American company in Brussels.

Back here it was freezing and so, seeing as I had a pizza to cook, I lit a fire – the first since February and cooked iton the woodstove. And now having eaten my fill, I’mm off for an early night.

See you tomorrow.

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Saturday 22nd March 2014 – YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE IT …

… but I’ve been outside working this morning!

I nearly didn’t though. After a night of driving rain that stopped me sleeping properly, and waking up before the alarm clock because I needed a gypsy’s, I wasn’t in much of a mood for it.

After an early breakfast, I did a couple more hours on the web site but by 11:00 it had stopped raining and there was a little glimmer of light outside. “Now or never!” I reckoned, and went outside.

I planned to be out there for just an hour and so I finished off the raised bed that I had started. I gave it a really good raking and hoeing, and then added a plie of wood ash, a natural source of potash. It had another good hoeing and raking after that, and then I planted the shallots and garlic. And just as I was about to finish the last row of planting, the heavens opened again.

Never mind, I stayed to finish it, even though I was soaked to the skin. And that was when I noticed that it was 13:00 and I’d been out two hours. Still, it’s all finished now and I’m glad that I did it.

I went shopping in St Eloy but there was nothing exciting, and this afternoon I carried on in a desultory fashion with the web pages.

No footy this evening at Pionsat so I went to Marcillat, who were playing in the Cup against St Remy En Rollat, a club from the suburbs of Vichy. St Remy was the better side on the whole but lost 2-1 in something of a controversial match.

But there was no controversy about Marcillat’s first goal. The centre-forward did well to shrug off a couple of hefty challenges that pushed him over to the right of the goal. He managed to squeeze off a shot from about 15 yards that swerved round and behind the keeper at the near post. That cannoned off the inside of an upright and came soaring out of the goal at about head height, right into the path of a Marcillat player running in. No mistake about that one.

The other two goals were from free kicks, both rather dubious in my opinion but in one of them I would have awarded a free kick – but in the opposite direction. Lots of contested decisions in the match, and I do have a little sympathy for the players. But the Marcillat linesman was clearly quite incensed with some of them, and the referee had words with him on several occasions. He was lucky to have stayed on the field in my opinion.

The temperature was plummeting while we were there ad we are going to have a cold night. Only natural, seeing as how I’ve done all of this planting. I’ve had to cover my raised beds with black plastic to keep the frost off.

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Friday 21st February 2014 – I WAS WATCHING …

… Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince last night. And so consequently all through the night I was running around at Hogwarts.

Yes, three bad nights of sleep in succession – no surprise that I crashed out for a couple of hours when I returned home late this afternoon.

But as for Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince, that’s a perplexing film. It’s full of holes, more like a succession of scenes with no interlacing connection rather than being a continuous film.

Scenes start off at random in the middle of action, so you don’t know how the actors arrived at the situations and emotions that they are expressing.

I realise that you can’t cram 700 pages of novel into just 151 minutes of film, otherwise you’ll end up with something like One Eyed Jacks, where the original director’s cut ran to well over 5 hours, but nevertheless there was tons of stuff that was irrelevant that could have been left out, just as there was tons of stuff that was relevant that should have been included.

But two things came to mind during this film –

  1. If Professor Dumbledore were to put on the market the magic wand that he used to tidy up Professor Slughorn’s house, he would … errrr … clean up. I would give all that I had, and more, to own something like that where a simple flick of the wrist would finish the repairs here and have the place all spick and span.
  2. Ginny Weasley is ordinary, banal, boring even. Whyever didn’t Rowling develop a romance between Harry Potter and Luna? She has much more character and personality than poor Ginny and would have been an ideal foil for Harry to bounce his ideas around. She’s definitely my favourite character in the films and, ironically, when there was one of these apps on a social networking site to “answer 30 questions to find out which Rowling character you are”, I came up with Luna. No – I’m convinced – Rowling got it all wrong. The ideal partner for Harry Potter should have been Luna.

So once I had woken up and crawled rather unwillingly out of my stinking pit, I crawled even more unwillingly off to Marcillat-en-Combraille to record the rock programme for Radio Tartasse, and when Liz arrived we recorded the English-language information programmes.

From there, we went on to Liz and Terry’s fir an early lunch (and that car was still in the ditch after all this time) and then on to Gerzat and Radio Arverne for the other lot of programmes.

By this time I was about flaked out and so I didn’t even stop at Liz and Terry’s for a coffee on the way back. I managed a stop at the Intermarché to do my weekens shopping (save me going anywhere tomorrow) and that was about that.

But I need to find a proper sleep rhythm from somewhere.

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Saturday 15th February 2014 – I SHOULD HAVE BEEN …

… at Marcillat tonight for the football. However, the ground is situated right on the crest of a scarp slope about 6 miles from here and the floodlights are clearly visible from the end of the lane, and when I reached the end of the lane, I could see nothing.

I drove as far as Virlet from where the ground is even more visible just across the valley, but there was no change – still total darkness – and so I turned round and came home.

Mind you, it doesn’t surprise me. We had torrential rain again today and it’s probably about 6 weeks since we last had a day of no rain at all. I’m up to my knees in mud around here and so I imagine that it’s just like this at the football ground at Marcillat.

Even more intriguing – when I went out to take the stats just before going to bed last night the temperature was an astonishing 13.5°C. Mid-February too! It was more like mid-April outside last night. This “winter” that we are having is totally crazy.

Today, I wasn’t in a hurry to leave my stinking pit, and after breakfast I made a start on what was left of the rdio programme that needs writing. However, I lost interest halfway through and ended up carrying on the sorting out of all the files on the various external hard drives hee, punctuated by a bried visit to the Intermarché at Pionsat for supplies for the weekend – I’m going to Montlucon on Tuesday so I’ll do a major shop there for the rest of the week.

But it was exciting through the night, I’ll tell you. It was my turn to be in a wheelchair and I was racing through the streets of Halifax (Yorkshire, not Nova Scotia) in the snow at speeds of up to 45mph through the traffic, allowing for the momentum of the downward slopes to carry me back up the steep hills. Excitement wasn’t in it! If I could maeket a game like that, you can forget your amusement parks!

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Monday 20th January 2014 – I FEEL DREADFUL.

Yes, I’m sure that I’m getting worse. It must have been quite an exertion for me yesterday as by the time I returned home I was in no condition to sleep and I remember at one stage looking at the clock and it was way past 04:00.

But sleep I must have done as I didn’t hear the alarms and woke bolt upright at 09:05 and it was just as well as I had to be in Marcillat for 09:30 to record the rock programmes.

And I made it too but the crew wasn’t there. In a delightful summing-up of rural France, the excuse given (when they did turn up) was “well, there was a queue in the boulangerie“.

I went to Cécile’s on the way to Liz’s afterwards and sure enough, there was the form she was expecting, finally arrived, but collecting the letter isn’t going to be anything like straightforward.

We did the Radio Arverne programmes at Gerzat, but towards the end I was dissolved in fits of coughing (and poor Bernard who has to edit it all out) and I don’t know how I made it to the end.

But that’s about finished me off now and I won’t be doing anything else. Liz gave me some honey and a lemon and I made a hot drink, but it was rather like the time that I sent Nerina to the Health Spa for a weekend.
When my mate came round, he asked me if the mudpack had improved Nerina’s appearance any.
“It sure did” I replied “but it wore off after three days”.

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Monday 16th December 2013 – WE’VE BEEN RADIOING…

… today. It’s that tile of the month isn’t it? Well, actually it isn’t – we’re a week early but I’m badgered if I’m going to go out and work any time between Thursday night this week and January 2nd 2014.

So after an exciting dream and an early morning, I was at the Radio Tartasse studio in Marcillat to record the rock programmes for next month and then Liz and I did the January “Radio Anglais” recordings. No events – the Tourist Board isn’t pulling its weight – and so we waffled on about places to visit – to such an extent that we didn’t even have time to talk about the technical issues.

after lunch of bread and lentil soup we went to Gerzat for the Radio Arverne sessions, and heard the good news that we will be moving into a purpose-built studio in the autumn. not before time too as the Arverne equipment is definitely creaking.

Back to Liz’s and coffee and mince pies and then on the way back here I went via Cécile’s to pick up the last load of washing. The stuff that I hung outside this morning was already dry, and the load that I rescued this evening, that went on the line as soon as I returned home as we are having another warm, windy night.

This weather is just topsy-turvy but I’m not complaining. After the bitterly long cold winter we had last year, we need an Indian summer right now.

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Saturday 14th December 2013 – WELL, IT DID RAIN …

… during the night, all 2mm of it. First time for ages too as I said. And when I woke up this morrning there was a hanging cloud to greet me. Consequently I stayed in and read a book, and then reorganised the bookshelves a little and did some housework.

It cleared up this afternoon so I had a quick run to St Eloy-les-Mines and the shops, and spent almost nothing there either. I’m back into my old ways again.

After a late lunch I did some work on the laptop and then wznt to Marcillat-en-Combraille for the last match prior to the winter break. AS Marcillat were playing Vallon, top of the table, and to everyone’s surprise they won 1-0. Once again, they could have had a bagful of goals but couldn’t hit the nether regions of a ruminant animal with a stringed musical instrument. Some of the misses were comical to say the least.

Vallon offered nothing up front although they were the better team. And they can consider themselves unlucky, if now downright cheated, of a good goal. An AS Marcillat defender handled a cross just outside his area but the shot fell to a Vallon attacker who volleyed it home. The referee blew his whistle … for the handball, thus disallowing the goal and the Vallon players were furious. The ref said that he had blown prior to the shot but I am totally and utterly convinced, as was everyone else around the ground, that the goal had been scored before he blew. And why blow anyway. Hasn’t he heard of the advantage rule?

And anyone who says that football is a man’s game is clearly unaware of Marcillat’s n°13 this evening. Only been on the pitch two minutes and he’s booked for having a ‘frank exchange of views’ with the referee. And 30 seconds later, as the Vallon keeper goes to clear a ball out of his hands and upfield, the n°13 goes up and impedes the clearance. A second yellow card, and so into the dressing room, and not been on the pitch 5 minutes either. Two of the most stupid bookings that I have ever seen.

Vallon had a player sent off too right near the end. He was rather too vocal about a bizarre refereeing decision and while one never condones that sort of behaviour, I do have to say that some of the decisions made by the referee were totally bewildering to say the least.

Ahhh well.

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Thursday 12th December 2013 – I CRAWLED OUT …

… of bed at such an unearthly hour that it was still dark outside. Not like me of course, but then again, I had things to do today as you know.

But with it being dark outside, I hadn’t realised how difficult it was to go a-riding the porcelain horse without any lighting. The sooner I deal with this issue the better, I think. But I digress.

At 08:30 I was on the Intermarché car park, and so was Terry. He piled into Caliburn and off we went to Limoges and the airport. I’ve never been there before but luckily The Lady Who Lives In The Sat-Nav knew the way and so we didn’t get lost at all.

Leaving the airport, I came home a different way. The way that we went was via Marcillat, Evaux, Guéret and the autoroute, and that is one big curving road. There’s a direct route back via Limoges, Bourganeuf, Aubusson and Auzances and so that was the way I came back. Despite being on more difficult roads, it’s a good way shorter and so it took me exactly (because I times it) the same time to come home, as well as being a much more interesting and beautiful route.

It wasn’t just the ecenery that was exciting either. Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that when we were in Piraeus a few weeks ago I was certain that I saw a trolley bus, but I wasn’t quick enough with the camera and in any case I had Trixi with me and who cares about trolley buses when one has a very attractive woman at one’s side?

trolley bus limoges franceAnyway, here I am going around the inner ring road at Limoges and what do I encounter but a modern 21st-Century Trolleybus of all things.

And so I wasn’t dreaming in Piraeus the other wekk. Trolley buses are back on the roads, and not before time too. Nice, clean and efficient, it will be interesting to see how well they do over the next decade or so and see how many other towns and cities follow suit.

This afternoon, back at the ranch, I wrote the additional notes for our next series of radio programmes. That kept me out of mischief for a good few hours.

The plan of acrion for tomorrow depends upon the weather. If this Indian summer keeps up I’ll be pointing the stone wall. Failing that, I’ll be working in the garden, tidying up the yard or else making shelves for the lean-to. There’s plenty of work on here and, for a change, I have all that I need to do it.

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Saturday 7th December 2013 – I FINALLY MADE IT …

… to the shops in Montlucon today – first time in ages. And I spent a pile of money too, which is not at all like me, of course.

Mind you, it was an effort to get out of bed which was hardly surprising seeing as it was absolutely taters outside. And scraping the ice off Caliburn’s windscreen didn’t improve things either. But in Montlucon I did the usual round of the usual shops.

Just for a change, LIDL turned up nothing exciting apart from a big box of clementines (yes, it’s nearly Christmas) but everywhere else did me proud. At Noz, the cheapo shop, I bought a full set of the Piorot Series I DVDs and also some of the home-made fizzy lemonade that they have. Three bottles of that, for me over the Christmas / New Year festivity period, and not only that, the bottles with the drink inside are those with the wired stoppers and cost less than just the bottle alone at IKEA.

In Brico Depot, I bought 24 planks of shuttering board – €3:95 a plank and three joined together widthways makes a decent 50cm shelf 3 metres long. I can crack on and build my shelving now, once the rain restarts. But it didn’t restart today – we had another one of these glorious Alpine winter days.

Before leaving Montlucon I went to the Centre Aqualudique, which is the posh way of saying “swimming baths”. It was cold in there, but not as cold as it would have been at Neris les Bains, and I made history by not only forgetting to take my clean undies with me but also my soap and shampoo. Something of a wash-out, if you pardon the expression.

This evening I froze to death on the terraces (well, terrace) at Marcillat as the home side’s 1st XI took on Varennes in a squalid bottom-of-the-table match.

Two worse attacks I have never ever seen in my life. Varennes never even tested the Marcillat keeper once during the entire match and while Marcillat had plenty of opportunities, they couldn’t hit the nether regions of a bovine animal with a stringed musical instrument. They could still be playing when the winter break is over in February and the score would still be 0-0.

That is – except for a very dubious penalty and a woeful calamity of a mix-up between the Varennes n°3 and his goalkeeper. And tule n°1 of any defence is and always has been “when making a backpass to the keeper, always send it wide of the posts”.

Are you reading this, Varennes n°3?

But it was a niggly, argumentative match – a typical foot-of-the-table affair, and when the referee finally did have enough and brandished the first yellow cards, I would have had half the teams in the dressing room a long while previous to that.

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