… about the pain in my foot keeping me awake all night. That was definitely a horrible night last night
Not that there would have been much sleep last night anyway by the time that I crawled into bed. Never mind 23:00 – it was long after midnight when I finally crawled into bed. At least it’s a little quicker with these socks rather than the puttees. I don’t have to wind them up before going to bed.
Once in bed I actually fell asleep – for all of about a minute. And then the first of the stabbing pains arrived. And that was it. In my nice, clean bedding too of which I was so hoping to make the most. Still, I suppose that I did in a way.
It took me a few minutes to gather my wits (not that there are too many wits to gather these days) after the alarm went off, and then I headed off into the bathroom to sort myself out.
And believe it or not, I began to wash my shorts. Which is what I do most Saturdays (when I remember) but today there’s a big heap of washing in the corner. And so I piled as much as I could (including the shorts) into the machine and set it all off on a 60°C cotton wash. That should shift some stains.
Back in here I had a listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night. And to my surprise there was some stuff on there. I must have gone to sleep at some point. There I was, back with some members of my family. There was a new girl there so of course I was doing my best to impress her. It seemed that for once everyone was co-operating in a way by asking intelligent questions to which I knew the answer. This went on for quite some time but it made no impression on her at all. I was very surprised. She hardly said a thing. Anyway one of my friends or family or someone had to go to visit some neighbours so I said that I’d go too in order to have some fresh air. We went to see the neighbours but on the way up the road we bumped into an elderly, disreputable alcoholic man from the neighbourhood so we pretended to walk straight past the house where we were going to visit and doubled back once he’d gone out of sight, otherwise he might have come along and joined in the party and it wasn’t much fun with him anywhere. We passed through the gate and saw a lovely new sign on the door. My fried asked me what the sign said so I looked much more closely and saw that it was a rather offensive, vulgar message. I thought “well this is how this family is, I suppose”. We passed through the gate to the back garden. They were all there sitting on chairs sunbathing. I thought of all the other work that other people had been doing this afternoon and there they are, sitting here and I immediately thought of the expression about “if you want to work then you should but otherwise you can always let other people work for you and you can sit and put your feet up”. My friend said “yes, it’s a shame that there are people like this on the planet.
These people must have been my friends. It’s not like my family, as regular readers of this rubbish will recall, to aid me in enticing some innocent young maiden into my lair. Mind you, even my closest friends (do I have any?) would do their best to prevent my evil clutches grasping around some helpless maiden. But as for neighbours as described in the dream, when we lived in Shavington we had those a-plenty.
Later on I heard a voice say something like “don’t be so sarcastic”. It concerned an enquiry that people were making about my health. With this terrible pain in my foot I thought that it was best that if someone else were to write it down they could record all of the “aarrgghs” and the horrible reactions as the pain kept on coming back. Anyway I was told not to be sarcastic. Then I thought about Oldham and the Roman remains around there but I was told to pick somewhere nicer. In the end I picked the Roman Empire in general and discussed the religious excesses and (…fell asleep here …) anyway I could hear all of these people commenting on me when I was there trying to talk about these illnesses that I had.
Me being sarcastic? Perish the thought, hey? But I bet that there were plenty of arrgghhs and reactions last night as the stabbing pain kept reoccurring. And Roman remains? I must stop reading all of these exciting books.
When the nurse came I told him about the pain in the sole of my foot. He examined it for foreign bodies but found nothing. There’s a slight swelling but that’s about it. But he knew all about the stabbing pain when I had another attack while he was holding my foot.
After he cleared off I went to have breakfast. And I’ve now finished my book on the Romans in Britain. The final chapter, on Administration, was not very interesting. I had been hoping on a final chapter containing details of the collapse of Roman civilisation in the aftermath of the depart of the legions but I imagine that whatever written records there might have been, the barbarian hordes who arrived did for all of those.
The washing was finished by now so I emptied the machine and hung up the washing. It’s not as clean as I would like it but it will have to do. I suppose that once I have my new shower and so on downstairs I ought to think about buying new bedding.
Back in here I had to hunt down the work that I did yesterday. I’d saved it without thinking and didn’t have a clue in which directory I’d saved it.
Eventually I could find everything and could sit down and finish off all the notes. I now have 13 lines of text which at 17 seconds per line is not far short of 4 minutes, and I have 2 minutes 51 seconds to fill. Consequently there will be a lot of stuff edited out, but that’s no problem. I’d rather be over and edit out than be short and have to rewrite.
My faithful cleaner stuck her head in the door to see how I was and to fit the anaesthetic patches on my arm. She wasn’t sure about where to put them so she put them in the place where their sticking plasters had been. That will have to do.
While she was here she put the quilt cover straight on the clothes airer. You’ve no idea how difficult it is for me with just one hand.
The taxi driver was another cheerful soul (sarcastic? Who? Me?) who didn’t want the car window open, and didn’t say a word all the way down to Avranches
And they were ready and waiting for me today, the fools. They told me that the doctor has said that I have to lose 2.8 kgs in weight. Was I happy with that?
"Not at all" I replied. "I’m looking to lose three times that" so they went away for a further consult.
Nevertheless, the patches worked and the pain was only momentary and much less than on Monday when I quite literally hit the roof.
Emilie the Cute Consultant wasn’t there today so a side-kick came to see me. He gave me a new prescription to keep my cleaner busy.
As for the pain in the sole of the foot, which was still going on, he didn’t even look at it. Leave it a couple of days, he sad (presumably by which time he’ll be off duty and someone else will have to examine it), and see how it goes.
And then despite the pain, I fell asleep
They woke me up to disconnect me and send me home, but the taxi was late arriving. It was a very friendly driver and we had a really good chat on the way back.
My faithful cleaner was there to help me back upstairs and I just fell into a chair and that was that for a while. I’d done enough
Tea was a baked potato with one of my breaded quorn fillets and a vegan salad, followed by jam roly-poly and chocolate soya cream.
So that’s it. I’ll dictate what I’ve written this week for the radio and then go to bed. Early, I hope.
But even as I write, I’m listening to the concert that I assembled. And it really is good. Technically one of the best that I’ve ever done and the music is excellent too. I think that I picked the correct tracks to feature.
Going back to the clinic this afternoon though, they weighed me on arrival and again on departure. And I’d lost 1.2 kgs during the process. So I made a quick calculation.
"Cheer up, girls" I told the nurses "If it keeps on going at this rate, after 70 more visits I’ll be gone completely"
But as Kenneth Williams once said to Alfred Hitchcock, "it’s a waste of time telling jokes to foreigners"
