Tag Archives: poncing

Thursday 29th October 2009 – I’ve been poncing today…

.. and I’ve got most of the walls pretty smooth but there’s still a little bit to do where I had to do some patching.

Once I’d done the patching though I started to sweep out the room and almost dropped a ton of rubbish and dust onto the top of Claude’s head – he’d popped round to inspect the work. We had a long natter about this and that – he’s got to go back to hospital in a few weeks time for a check-up. What with all of the walking that he does these days I told him it was his 6000-mile service.

This afternoon I had a really weird phone call. It was from some woman – I forget her name, not that it meant anything to me as I don’t know her anyway – who lives in Les Coursieres, a hamlet about 2km away from here. Apparently she is buying some furniture from Germany mail-order and they have asked her for her e-mail address. She doesn’t have one so she wants to know if she can have mine to give them!!!! I dunno why it is but my fame seems to be spreading around here just now.

Once I disposed of that I started on the wallpapering. I’ve done about a third of it and tomorrow morning, after finishing the poncing, I’ll do the rest. But it’s looking much more like a home now.

In other news, on Tuesday Terry and I were discussing football and how all of the fun seems to have gone out of it. We said that even the hurling of abuse at opposition footballers seems to have gone out of the window and that there would soon be nothing left to go to the matches for. Of course, what with truth being stranger than fiction, no sooner do we discuss it than there is a news article about it. Football as an interactive spectator sport is dying, more’s the pity. All I can say is that I will stand in the centre of any football stadium you care to name for 90 minutes every Saturday and let 50,000 football fans say whatever they like about me and my family, for just a quarter of the money that Craig Bellamy gets, the big wimp.

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Wednesday 28th October 2009 – One thing that you need to understand …

… when you read my adventures is that I never ever make any mistakes. What I do is that I learn a lot, and sometimes learning can be expensive. In the olden days in the Wild West (yesterday in South Carolina, Rhys) greenhorns were continually being cheated at cards by people called “Doc”, and whenever anyone ever said anything, the response always was “you have to pay to learn“.

And so it is with house renovations.

And having got the preamble out of the way, let us now discuss the woodstove.

I lined the base with damp sand as required, and assembled a fire inside. “You need a 6x6x6″ fire, and be careful that it does not touch the sides“. How you do this when you have a fire that is 5.5×5.5×5.5” no-one actually said. But anyway I did my best and it toook ages to get going, but I slowly warmed it up. And when I was happy that it was burning I started on the grouting of the bricks I laid the other day (much more useful that laying eggs, I can tell you)

Halfway through the grouting the phone rang, so I opened the door to climb down the ladder to the phone, and “Blimmin’ ‘eck!” You couldn’t see your hand in front of your face with the smoke, and the fumes were overpowering. All through the house, even in my little room, was a pall of black smoke. I was appalled. as was the smoke.

Normally I would expect that the hot air would rise up the stovepipe and carry the soot and ash with it. When they burst out into the chimney the hot air would rise creating a current of air from the chimneys below, which would pull up the soot and ash. But not a bit of it. The soot and ash had descended in the chimney and come out at the bottom. So much for free circulation. And so much for the woodstove too.

I was toying with the idea of lining the chimney and putting the stovepipe all the way up to the outside, and I wish I had done it now. I can’t get the pipe in now that I’ve done the walls and so basically the woodstove will have to be put on hold while I think about this.

It’s not the end of the world though as I have the bottled gas heater, but I was hoping to get away from fossil fuels and go for a more natural source. What is going to be a major problem is that if the soot and ash can get from the attic to the living room it can also do the return journey when I light the fire down here. And that will be “an issue”.

what i saw downstairs when I lit the wood stove
Today’s image is entitled “What I saw when I opened the door”.

On the phone, as it happened, was a member of OUSA’s Executive Committee who wanted a chat. Of course I shan’t name names as talking to me is punishable by a “visit” from Pol Pot’s sibling, a whine from Caligula and her horse, and a thorough dressing-down from Turdi de Hatred (not to mention a thorough dressing up, in fairy boots if I remember correctly, by Lee “I’m a prostitute” Potty-mouth. But I digress – something that you ought to be used to by now)

I’ve now done all the grouting and the filling, and I started poncing (But not in fairy boots) this evening. Tomorrow will be finishing off the poncing, cleaning up the room and making a start on the wallpapering. D-Day is getting closer.

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Sunday 20th September 2009 – IT WAS A LOVELY DRIVE …

… out to Briffons this afternoon. It took me about an hour or so to get there – Espinasse – Biollet – Pontaumur and then up into the foothills of the Mont Dore and the Puy de Sancy. Had the weather been any good it would probably have been fair to say that parts of the drive might have been spectacular, but in fact there was an almost constant drizzle and restricted visibility once I’d passed Pontaumur.

briffons perpezat hanging cloud mont dore puy de dome franceThere are some delightful settings for football grounds around here but I reckon that Briffons probably beats them all to date.

Even with the low rainclouds ( and I bet we are pretty well high up here) the view can be said to be spectacular, as I’m sure you must agree.

fcpsh football club de foot pionsat st hilaire briffons perpezat matthieu malnar puy de dome france
It was Pionsat’s 2nd XI playing today, and Briffons are in Division 1 (one step higher up) of their pool so I was filled with some trepidation following the mauling last week at Pontaumur, and once more Matthieu in goal had to work hard to earn his corn, as you can see in the photo.

But I needn’t have worried. Jan, the first-choice centre-half, was back in the defence and Sebastien was playing in his habitual centre-forward role

fcpsh football club de foot pionsat st hilaire briffons perpezat puy de dome franceIt was amazing how much more solid the team looked with just those two changes (although there were a couple of other team changes too).

The teams were pretty evenly matched for most of the game and Pionsat ran out as winners thanks to a typical 2nd XI goal – hoof over the top of the defence and a quick forward running on, beating the offside trap. But they had to work hard for it and fully deserved the victory.

Tomorrow I’ll be back in the attic fitting the battens and insulation on part of the last wall. Then I have to work out the layout of the stairs and the door into the room. Poncing will have to wait for a couple of days.

Which reminds me – the French verb for “to wax skis” is FARTER. So when I’ve finished the attic I can go down to the ski slopes at Superbesse not too far from here, get a job as a ski repairer and spend the winter poncing and farting to my heart’s content.

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Saturday 19th September 2009 – WELL, THAT’S ME SPENT UP!

540 euros in Brico Depot and not an awful lot to show for it.

Running through the list there’s

  • a pile of insulation – 20mm stuff because they had run out of 40mm and so I’ll just double up the thickness
  • some filler for the cracks in the plasterboard
  • some plasterboard tape
  • some fibreglass wallpaper
  • some fibreglass wallpaper glue
  • some blue wall paint (I forgot the gloss for the woodwork)
  • piles of tools for puttying and wallpapering
  • some floor tiles to build a plinth for the woodstove
  • all of the cement and grouting
  • some light switches
  • a telephone socket (and, yes, I forgot the telephone cable)

That was the first load. The second load was

  • 38 metres of tongue-and grooving – not the rubbishy stuff at 3.37 euros that I use for building or the better stuff at 4.95 euros (they had run out of that too – GRRRRR) but some other stuff at 6.17 euros
  • some wood battens for the tongue-and-grooving
  • some varnish
  • some nails
  • some underfelt for the laminate floor

And no woodstove either.

The cheapest on offer is 190 euros but I don’t much like it. As Krys suggests, Machine Mart is the place to be and Terry sent me a link to their site. And Simon is still in the UK. How can I contact him?

It’s a lot of money but realistically all that I now need for the attic is a couple of sheets of bare plasterboard for around the head of the stairs, and a supply of skirting board. And two panes of glass but I’ll explain that in due course (and no, I haven’t broken a window). I have everything else.

Outside in the car park I was doorstepped by a couple of Dutch people who wanted to talk to me about solar energy. It takes Dutch folk completely by surprise when I talk to them in Dutch (well, Flemish but it’s near enough).

But it’s a sign of the times that the Dutch want to become involved in solar energy. There is no word in Dutch for “cheap”. The word that they use is “goedkoep” which literally means “a good buy” – implying that if you do see something cheap you immediately have to purchase it.

The Dutch were the original settlers of New York, which is why I’m absolutely astonished that the USA is known as “The Land of The Free”. The problem with the Dutch is that they have no word for “gratis”.

Having said that, however, I sympathise with Michael Caine, who famously said in Goldmember “There’s only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures – and the Dutch”.

Only one footy match tomorrow – in the Cup and at Briffon, a village in the foothills of the Mont Dore about 100 years away from here. I’ll need a native guide and a pile of native bearers to get there I expect.

By the way, for those of you who have been following the discussion and debate in the “comments” to some of the entries on my blog (and you can always join in), you will be delighted to know that the verb “to sand” in French is “poncer”.

I will be doing a lot of poncing next week.

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