… change, tonight I tried something new for tea. And for the first time since I can’t remember when, I managed to eat a plate full of food and leave nothing behind on the plate. This is an exciting development.

However, more of that anon.

Last night, I tried yet again to make a determined effort to finish my notes at some kind of realistic time, to dash through everything else that needed doing and then have an early night.

But, as regular readers of this rubbish will recall from past experience, I failed miserably. It was 22:34 when my notes finally crawled online and by the time that I snuggled up under the warm covers, it was 23:10, about half an hour later than I was hoping.

As seems to be the case these days, I was asleep quite quickly, despite all of the coughing that I was doing, and there I lay, totally dead to the World until all of … errr … 04:44.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t go back to sleep, so round about 05:20 I left the bed and dictated the radio notes that I’d written the other day. They turned out to be something of a dog’s dinner and will require some considerable editing, but at least they are done. I took full advantage of the quiet of the early morning.

After the bathroom, I went to take my medication. This involved making another one of these ginger, lemon and honey drinks. And once more, Brain of Britain forgot about the reaction between the acid in the lemon juice and the alkaline Calcium Carbonate. As a result, I ended up with only half a glass of drink and a mountain of soggy paper tissue.

Back in here, I had a listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night. And once more, I was surprised at how far I’d travelled. I was with some friends of mine. We were doing something in the front garden of the house of one of them. Suddenly, five people walked across the lawn from somewhere, but we don’t know from where they came. They went to the front door, but we couldn’t see particularly what was happening from where we were standing. All of a sudden, one of the people, the one nearest the door, seemed to flinch as if someone had struck him or attempted to strike him. Then one of the parents came out and began to kick at these people, trying to chase them away. I wondered what had gone on, but there was one of him and five of them so I went over to see what I could do. These people slowly began to retreat but suddenly there were more and more of them. I went around the back, but there were several hundred children coming in from down the hill and through the hedge. I went to the hedge and began to shoo the children away but there were more and more of them coming. In the end, I was overwhelmed. I decided to go back to the house to see what we could do but when I reached the back of the house, there were probably a thousand children and people on the back lawn staring at the house. I wondered what on earth was going on here and what are we going to do about this.

Whoever these friends were, I have no idea. But this was a really creepy, eerie dream that evidently has some significance about something but I can’t think what. I know that I like children, but only in small numbers where, if they begin to misbehave, you can give them back to their parents. Having a thousand or so dumped in my lap all at once would be quite overwhelming.

Later on, I was out in the van somewhere. I ended up stopping in a country lane where I set up a bit of a camp at the side of the road with a tent. I had my cooking facilities and everything. Next morning I awoke quite early and had to go into town to do some shopping, but I noticed that I’d left the van parked right in the middle of the road. It was a surprise to me that vehicles had been able to go by without actually saying anything. I had a look, and there was a space not too far from where my tent was pitched, where there was a small amount of tarmac that had been spilled onto the grass verge so I thought that I’d put the van there. Although there would be some of it on the road, there would still be a lot less and it wouldn’t be in the middle. For some reason, I had an enormous amount of difficulty trying to manoeuvre the van onto this small piece of tarmac. I remember that there was someone watching me too. I thought that this isn’t a very good advert for my driving.

This is my big worry these days. Just before I stopped driving, I could feel that my reflexes were slowing down dramatically and I didn’t feel as secure on the road as I once did. Even if I were to recover the strength in my legs (which is doubtful) I don’t think that I’d be safe on the roads.

One thing that I remember about that dream just now was that I actually walked to the van. I counted the steps, but I can’t remember how many there were. I thought to myself “that’s an improvement”.

Ahhh – if only …..

The nurse came along at his usual time, still cheerful and full of bonhomie which is very nice. He didn’t stay long and said that he’d see me tomorrow at 06:45. Yes, I have dialysis tomorrow early morning.

Once he’d gone, I could make breakfast and have a leisurely start to the day.

After breakfast, I spent some time in the kitchen. While I was sorting out the food the other day, I came across a recipe for a Moroccan Bean tajine. One hundred percent vegan and, to my surprise, I had all of the ingredients in stock.

A proper Moroccan clay coking pot I don’t have, but I do have a slow cooker so last night, I had put some beans in it to soak overnight. This morning, I followed the recipe and mixed everything together, then I added it all into the slow cooker and left it to simmer away throughout the day.

Back in here, I had things to do, but I was interrupted by the postie who brought me another couple of packets. There are just two more to arrive now, and I can’t wait for them.

After the disgusting drink break, the taxi came to pick me up to take me to the Centre de Ré-education.

The first session was fifteen minutes working on the muscles of my arms, followed by fifteen minutes working on what remains of the muscles in my legs. I still live in hope that something might happen to enable me to walk again.

The second session was with my physiotherapist who had me squeezing rubber balls with my feet, and then she took me for a walk with a walk frame. A walk frame is no good, though. It twists my arms into all kinds of unfortunate positions that are quite painful after a short while.

The final session was a team effort in the gym, playing carpet skittles. They have some strange ideas in this place.

Back here, my cleaner helped me into the apartment and then I crashed out for an hour or so. The combination of the early start and the effort at the Centre de Ré-education had wiped me out.

Once I’d come round back into the Land of the Living, I began to choose the music for the next radio programme. Even so, I’m beginning to fall behind again and I need to motivate myself much more. I’m hoping that when the chemotherapy and the physiotherapy are finished, I’ll have much more time to press on with things. It’s hard to find the energy to do things when I’m wearing myself out with all of these medical appointments.

Tea tonight was a ladle-ful of the tajine with couscous. It was excellent too and not too heavy. I managed to eat all of it too, as I said earlier. Couscous is a high-protein food and so are white beans, so add that to the fats and the carbohydrates in my vegan chocolate and coconut cake, and for once, I had a healthy meal.

And not only that, it was delicious.

So right now I’m off to bed. But not before I’ve rinsed the lentils in the slow cooker. Tomorrow, I’m going to make a vegan lasagna so the lentils are simmering away nicely.

But seeing as we have been talking about children climbing the fence … "well, one of us has" – ed … many years ago, I caught a couple of kids climbing over the fence at Gresty Road during a Crewe Alexandra football match.
"It’s no good, kids" I said. "You’ve been caught red-handed. You’re not getting away with this. Now, you can just jolly well climb back and watch the second half."

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