Tag Archives: crash out

LIVE: Saturday 3rd October 2026 – ANOTHER MYSTERIOUS AFTERNOON …

… in dialysis today. But I’ll tell you something for nothing, and that is that I’m going to do my best not to fall asleep in dialysis again so that I can keep my eye on what’s going on behind the scenes.

Another thing on which I wish that I could keep an eye on is what’s going on with my sleeping patterns. Anyone who checked my blog between about 22:00 and midnight and then went to check it later will be bound to be confused by what they read.

Round about 21:30, I fell asleep in the chair here, and when I awoke at about 22:00, I just posted on line what I’d written to date and added a “TO BE CONTINUED” sticker to it.

Before I fell into bed, though, I went for a ride on the porcelain horse, and when I came back in here, I found that I was wide awake somehow, so I finished off the blog, overwrote the “TO BE CONTINUED” sticker and posted the completed entry on line.

And then I fell into bed and went straight to sleep.

At some point during the night, I awoke again and was tossing and turning around for what seemed like an eternity, trying to go to sleep, but without any success. But I must have managed it at some point because I was dead to the World when the alarm went off at 06:29.

We had the usual struggle with ourselves to leave the bed, and then I went into the bathroom to sort myself out. While I was there, I had a good scrub up and a shave, in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant this afternoon at dialysis.

Then I came back in here to listen to the dictaphone to find out what went on during the night.

There had been something in the news about adoptions. There was a family from Preston who had adopted a boy from a Preston children’s home, and a couple of other people who had done the same thing too. There was even someone who had taken an abandoned child from a children’s home with a view to adopting him, and escaping to Vietnam. That had me thinking about whether, as a single man, I could adopt a child too. So I went away from here and had a think about it and then went back to the office to talk to them. It was only later on that I realised that I was living in a one-bedroomed apartment, so if I did adopt a child, then where would it sleep?

There’s certainly some mileage in this dream. Some “friends of friends” have recently adopted a child from a local children’s home, and that’s what has probably inspired this dream. And then adopted child and Vietnam has a story behind it too, but it’s another story that the World is not yet ready to hear.

As for adopting a child, I’m quite ready, as regular readers of this rubbish will recall, to adopting a cat, preferably a female cat. And it’s true that I only have a one-bedroom apartment, so adopting a child would be out of the question, even if I were not ill.

Then I was at work, and it was a Sunday morning and there was plenty of overtime to be done to clear some arrears. I went in and there were quite a few other people in as well. There was a guy sitting next to me, and suddenly, a pile of people’s files turned up on my desk, so I asked him if they were his, and he said that they were, so I put them onto his desk somewhere and began to make myself comfortable. A girl came in extremely late, and everyone cheered her, so she came out with some story about having been locked in somewhere over the weekend, and how would we have liked it? We said that, well, we were certain that we could have rolled up our sleeves, done something and swam to somewhere. I began to look at everything on my desk, and it was a complete and utter shambles, so what I had in mind was to leave quietly on Friday and not go back to the office.

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that these dreams of being in work after my retirement date and threatening to walk out without notice used to be a regular occurrence, but they seem to have died off a while back. However, as I said the other day, they are slowly making a comeback.

And the untidiness of mine in the office is nothing new at all. I was always like that, wherever I was and whatever I was doing.

We’d gone skiing somewhere in one of these big resorts. The car that we used was one of these big Transcontinental Vauxhall estates. There were five of us in this car, and the amount of stuff we’d brought with us was astonishing. After we’d packed, for example, I found my old ski boots and all kinds of things like that, so when we arrived in a town near the border to be inspected by the police, we were fully loaded and it took quite a while. I found later that we’d brought all the books with us from home, all that kind of thing. We went skiing, and then we decided to put our chalet up for sale. Someone in the town responded immediately, so we had to do a lot of clearing up and tidying up before we could let him in. When we let him in, he was big and he was active, bouncing around, and we were busy trying to put our ski things away and stack these books somewhere. We ended up stacking them against the wall next to the fireplace. I found a camera that didn’t work because the batteries were flat in it, all kinds of things like that, and getting them into my bag was going to be complicated. Someone came up to my girlfriend and asked me about the car. Before we were leaving, someone else came up to us and asked about the car. My girlfriend didn’t know much about it, so I told him. He said that he was really impressed with the amount of luggage we had in there. He cancelled an order for a new car so that he could buy one of these Transcontinental Vauxhall Estates.

In case you’ve forgotten what a Transcontinental Vauxhall estate looks like, there’s one HERE. It’s the beige one, SPU903M. Strangely enough, of all the cars that I’ve ever owned, I’ve never ever had a Vauxhall. The closest I ever came to one was having a Bedford CA van for a short while.

However, in the past, we never went to any fashionable ski resort, except that I went once with an Italian girl to a ski resort in Italy. Most of the time, we went to the unfashionable ones, although when I was driving coaches and we had no work for a few months after Christmas, I’d go to ski resorts in Eastern Europe such as Romania and Bulgaria. I even took Percy Penguin with me once.

The nurse turned up as usual, and while he was dealing with my legs and feet, he gave me the same warning as my cleaner did yesterday about the festival down in the port and how it was total chaos.

After he left, I made my breakfast and read some more of THE REPORT OF THE WOOLHOPE NATURALISTS CLUB 1870.

Today, we had another little chat about geology, and then we returned to fungi, with a discussion about fairy rings. Maybe the editor of Aunt Judy’s Magazine would have been interested in joining in the discussion. It’s a shame that the subject wasn’t “fairy boots”, otherwise it would have given me a good opportunity to drag Lee “I’m a prostitute” Pottymouth into the discussion. He’s not put in an appearance in these pages in an age.

When breakfast was finished, I had a few things to do, after which I intended to work on reformating the music that I’d downloaded the other day. However, in the end, I ended up having an on line discussion with someone about music that went on for quite a while, discussing mainly folk-rock songs.

And when the chat finished, I was so fired up that for the first time in a couple of years, I picked up the acoustic guitar and played CAREY by Joni Mitchell and MOONAGE DAYDREAM (I don’t know why) by David Bowie. I was surprised how much I’d forgotten, and also how much it hurt afterwards.

At midday, I went into the kitchen for my disgusting drink and midday medication, and then I began to make myself ready for dialysis. My faithful cleaner turned up too to put the anaesthetic on my arm too.

After she left, I hunched up over the table and let myself relax, with my head resting on my forearms. I was once again just about to drift off into a really nice dream when the doorbell rang. I looked at the time and it was 12:58 – I’d been away with the fairies … "although not in any manner that would excite comment from the editor of Aunt Judy’s Magazine" – ed … for just over half an hour.

There was no one else to pick up en route so we arrived at dialysis a few minutes early, despite the chaos around the port today. However, it made no difference because there was a queue of people in front of me, and it took until 14:25 to be plugged in.

Once everything was up and running, I had to wait until 15:30 for the football to kick off so I found one or two other things to do while I was waiting. However, I must have crashed out somewhere along the line because I awoke with a start at 15:27, just three minutes before kick-off.

The match that I’d chosen today was the basement clash between Rhydaman and Trefynnon. This was a real six-pointer, as both sides had yet to record a victory, and they needed to start winning soon, as the rest of the table was cutting them adrift.

As you might expect, this was another game played at a hundred miles per hour with both teams going at it hammer and tongs. And its opening was certainly dramatic – Johnny Evans missed a sitter of a free header when surely it must have been easier to score, and then straight from the goal kick, Trefynnon roared up the field and scored to go in front.

Then we had goals disallowed for offside, balls hitting the post or being cleared off the line, until Johnny Evans, in the fortieth minute, scored with a delightful lob from outside the penalty area, right over the head of the Trefynnon goalkeeper.

It went from bad to worse for Trefynnon when in the fifty-sixth minute, Rhydaman scored a second goal to take the lead. From then on, Trefynnon threw everything they had at the Rhydaman defence, but to no avail and Rhydaman took all of the points.

That was a shame because I thought that Trefynnon had the better of the play, but they are deep in it now after that.

And spare a thought for Cambrian United. For the second away match in succession, they conceded nine goals. And they are one of the better promoted teams too.

This was when I noticed something rather bizarre. When I’d begun to watch the football, there were fourteen minutes after the final whistle before the end of the session. However, despite there being over fourteen minutes of stoppage time in this game, there was still half an hour to go, and I wasn’t finished until 17:55.

From 14:25 to 17:55 is three and a half hours, not the three hours that I’m supposed to have, and when I weighed myself later, I was still four hudred grams over my dry weight. Mind you, I did notice that the chief doctor, he who doesn’t like me chatting up the nurses, was on duty again today. He spoke to several people in the ward, but kept well clear of my bed.

When I was outside, I had to wait a few minutes for the taxi but I was once more the only passenger. Nevertheless, it was 19:15 when I finally arrived home.

My cleaner was waiting for me, sitting on her mushroom outside, and she helped me into the house and gave me another disgusting drink.

After she had left, I made myself a small plate of pasta and veg tossed in olive oil, garlic, black pepper and vegan cheese. And delicious it was too, especially as it was followed by a peach yoghurt.

Back in here, I had things to do, and then write up my notes. Now when I’ve checked the stats and backed up the computer, I’ll be off to bed. It’s horrendously late tonight … "or this morning" – ed … but I don’t care. I’m aiming for a lie in tomorrow.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about people sitting on mushrooms and other bizarre things … "well, one of us has" – ed … a man walked into a doctor’s surgery and began to speak to another man sitting there.
"Why are you here?" he asked.
"I have the biggest piles the World has ever seen" he replied.
"Is that why you’re sitting on that giant bean cushion?" he asked.
The man replied "look more closely."

LIVE: 30th September 2026 – I HAVE BEEN …

… feeling much more like it today, even if I have crashed out a few times.

But then again, that’s not surprising … "the crashing out, not the feeling much more like it" – ed … because when I finally crawled into bed after finishing my notes, etc., it was after 00:30. And considering that the alarm goes off at 06:29, there’s not much time for sleep.

So I was in bed at 00:30 but it took me quite a while to go off to sleep, which is a change. And then at some ungodly hour, I awoke and couldn’t go back to sleep. I was slipping in and out of this strange kind of situation where I wasn’t really awake and I wasn’t really asleep either.

That gave me an opportunity to continue with my experiments, and sure enough, on most occasions where I dozed off lying on my side, I “awoke” to find myself lying on my back again. All except the final time when I went to sleep on my side and when the alarm sounded, I was still on my side. All that I can say is that I can’t have been asleep for very long at that point.

It took longer than usual this morning to stand up and leave the bedroom, but once I was up and about, I went to unlock the front door and then head into the bathroom to sort myself out.

Back in here, the first thing that I did was to transcribe the dictaphone notes for yesterday and then today. Yesterday’s notes have been amended and went on line quite quickly, and here are today’s.

I’d been to school, and I’d walked home afterwards. Then the following morning, I went to school again. As I entered the class, there was a huge commotion going on, in that one of the boys was refusing for some reason to do anything that the teacher was saying. In the end, the teacher told him to go and stand outside but he wouldn’t. It took two or three people to put him outside the door. I recognised the teacher – it was one of the guys from FC Pionsat St Hilaire, so I said to him that if this had happened on the football field, it would be a five-match ban. Eventually, the boy was allowed to return to class but he was still being obnoxious. Someone had managed to get hold of his watch and they looked at his appointments. They were all kinds of appointments with silly ideas, silly names and everything. Then we learnt of two girls in Year 6 who were taking a year off school to go to California. We all wondered why they had gone to California and what they were going to do, but they were going to go to school while they were there, so they weren’t going to miss very much in the way of education. It was in all the headlines of the national press, but in the local press, it was a little column stuck on page four. Then I had to look up, and I saw my crutches against the wall. I didn’t put them there, so then I thought that I must have gone home without them and come back this morning without them. I tried to walk a little, and I seemed to be walking normally. I don’t know what happened there, but I remember thinking that this is going to give them a huge surprise at dialysis the next time that I go, when I can simply walk to my bed without any help or assistance at all.

The story of the local newspaper’s reaction to these two girls as compared with the reaction of the national press reminds me of the famous Yokohama earthquake in 1923, when the city was almost completely destroyed and as many as 140,000 people died. The headlines in a local paper in the Midwest USA were "Mr and Mrs (whatever) safe".

The rest of the dream doesn’t mean much to me, but the idea of throwing away my crutches and walking has been the subject of quite a few dreams in the recent past. They stopped at one point, but now, they seem to be back.

The nurse turned up as usual to sort me out, and he didn’t have much to say today. He took my health card and passed it through his little machine so that he could be paid for the month of September. It took him ages to establish a connection, but eventually, he managed it.

After he left, I went to make my breakfast and read some more of THE REPORT OF THE WOOLHOPE NATURALISTS CLUB 1870.

Today, we are discussing funguses, or ‘funghi’, found on the Longmynd and Clee hills. However, I was sidetracked as usual and ended up on Lord Howe Island with the other 400-odd inhabitants.

It’s a typical South Sea Island in between Australia and New Zealand with lots of endemic, unique fauna and flora that have been studied by scientists ever since the island was discovered.

The island will change dramatically in the coming years as modern ways of doing things and modern technology will overwhelm the nineteenth-century skills of the current generation of islanders.

Back in here, I finished off a few things that needed doing, and then I began to segue the pairs of songs in the radio programme that I’m preparing. They went together really well and on one or two of them, you can’t tell where the join is.

That took me up to lunchtime and my disgusting drink break with my midday medication.

Once that was out of the way, I began to write the notes for the music that I’d been preparing. I’d hoped to write about half of them, because some of the musicians are making their debut and that always takes much longer. But in fact, I managed to write all of them, don’t ask me how. I seemed to have worked really hard today.

And that was despite falling asleep a couple of times along the way. Even a can of one of these energy drinks seemed to have no effect. However, I began to liven up a little as the afternoon rolled on.

My cleaner turned up at one point. She’d been to Leclerc for some ink for her printer and I’d asked her if she could find some onions and if they had any British baked beans.

She’d brought the onions, but as far as she could see, baked beans … "or, at least, British ones" – ed … are definitely not on the menu in Leclerc. But she also found some vegan lentil crisps with much reduced salt and sugar content. She bought two packs of different varieties for me to try to see whether I want some more. We shall see.

There was tea tonight too – I’m definitely feeling better. It was potatoes mashed with spinach and fried in butter, and vegetables (peas, carrots and beans), falafel, onions, garlic and mushrooms. It was totally delicious, especially when it was followed by one of those posh soya yoghurts with fruit at the bottom.

So now, when I’ve finished a few more things, I’ll be off to bed. Later than usual, I suppose, but I’ll just have to make the best of it. I can always sleep at dialysis if they let me.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about mushrooms … "well, one of us has" – ed … in 1938 in Moscow, there was a party given by a general. He invited many other generals and in total, there were seventeen generals there.
They all had lunch too, but in the early afternoon, they were all found dead.
A Russian doctor performed autopsies on a couple of selected corpses, and he could see that they had died of mushroom poisoning, so he blamed the mushroom soup that had been the starter.
After all of the bodies had been taken away, the doctor came to report to Stalin. He said "After I’d performed the autopsies on a couple of the corpses and came to my conclusions, I watched the corpses being taken away, and I noticed that two of them had bullet wounds in the skull."
"That’s probably right" said Stalin
"Why was that?" asked the doctor.
Stalin replied "I’d heard that two of them didn’t want the soup."

LIVE: Tuesday 29th September 2026 – TODAY WAS A …

… much better day than yesterday – that is, up to a certain point anyway. It’s slowly starting to deteriorate now, so I’ll tell you all in due course how it ended. However, that won’t be tonight because there’s a football match on later this evening and it doesn’t finish until late, so I might end up just posting what I will have written, and you’ll get the rest tomorrow if you’re lucky.

Strangely enough, I was only thinking yesterday during the day that it’s been about a fortnight since you’ve had a “to be continued” when I’ve abandoned the notes due to tiredness and gone to bed, so things must be getting better. Only to have to post a “to be continued” the very same evening, as those of you who log in late at night or early in the morning will have seen.

It wasn’t so early when I went to bed, though. That was because I’d crashed out in the chair here while I was writing, and it wasn’t until later that I awoke. At that point, I went to bed and went straight to sleep, which is a surprise, considering the thunder and lightning that was crashing and flashing about outside.

Not that I was asleep for long. I’ve no idea what time it was when I awoke but it was a very long time before 06:29. I lay there tossing and turning for quite a while, and then I continued my experiment about sleeping. I made a definite effort to go to sleep lying on my side, but when I awoke each time, I was lying on my back. I’m not sure of why that is, but it’s annoying. I shall have to chain myself to the bed in memory of Kirk Anderson and Joyce McKinney, although I shan’t "ski naked down Mount Everest in the nude with a carnation up my nose".

At some point, I did go back to sleep long enough to be awoken by the alarm, and then we had the usual struggle to convince myself to rise up off the edge of the bed and head to the bathroom to sort myself out. Not before having unlocked the front door, though.

Once I’d sorted myself out, I came back in here and carried on with the rest of yesterday’s notes. They are now on line, as many of you might have noticed. What I should have done next was to attack the dictaphone notes to find out where I’d been during the night, but the arrival of the nurse confounded me, and I forgot to do them afterwards. Next morning, they eventually found their way on line.

I was in St Pair last night, staying somewhere. We’d heard somewhere that a new Casino supermarket had opened on the edge of the town centre, so I went off to have a look because it wasn’t far away from where we were staying. When I came back, I told everyone that I was disappointed by it because it was only a small, local kind of superette thing rather than the big supermarket that we had been expecting, and they didn’t have very much choice in there at all. While I’d been away, there had been a hockey match played between Denmark and Wales. I heard the result, and Denmark had won 2-0. I was pleased in a sense because it showed that Wales was still being included in these international tournaments and was not being forgotten.

The first part of the dream means nothing to me really, but there was a huge Casino supermarket (now an Intermarché) on the edge of town and I didn’t much like going there because the place was dirty and it never carried much of what I needed.

As for the second part, Wales have recently (on Sunday, in fact) played football against Denmark, and Denmark beat them 2-0. And as for hockey, that’s something that is featuring quite heavily in something else that’s going on right now and I could tell you plenty of stories about it, but the World isn’t yet ready to hear them.

After his week’s rest, the nurse was quite on form, but he was in a rush with patients waiting down at his office so he couldn’t stay around long to talk. However, he was interested to know what they had pumped into me last Monday, but I told him that I didn’t know. He asked me to find out next time I was there.

His leaving was the cue for me to make my breakfast – the usual porridge, toast, coffee and fruit juice. I know that it sounds monotonous, but it’s really the only food that I enjoy eating these days.

While I was eating, I was reading some more of THE REPORT OF THE WOOLHOPE NATURALISTS CLUB 1870.

We’re now discussing the trees of the Clee and Longmynd Hills. Especially the giant elms and poplars that seem to thrive there. And although I don’t know much about trees from a biological point of view, I do know that a tree with a twenty-two-foot circumference measured five feet from the ground is an enormous tree and well worth its place on the list of giant trees.

Back in here, I had an hour and fifteen minutes of revision for my Welsh class, and now that my course book has turned up, it’s much easier to revise and prepare.

After that, I went to the lesson, all two and a half hours of it. And once more, it passed really well and I was quite pleased with it. But the acid test is yet to come – our tutor has set us some homework to be done by next Monday. Then we’ll see how much has stuck to my teflon brain.

When the lesson had finished, I went into the kitchen and began bagging up my curry from yesterday. There was enough for five portions, and that should keep me out of mischief for a while. My next effort will be an aubergine and kidney bean whatsit – it’s been ages since I’ve made one of those.

My faithful cleaner caught me in flagrante delicto packing up the stuff when she came in to do her thing. She gave me a hand to move things round in the freezer and then chased me under the shower for my weekly wash.

Back in here later, I started choosing the music for another radio programme. And I found that I was still short of some, so I had to start to search around to see what I could find.

Once I’d found everything that I needed, I had to reformat, re-edit and remix it. And then I had to pair the music off. I’ve not segued it as yet, but I’ll do that tomorrow. I ran out of time, mainly because, would you believe, I crashed out for about an hour while … errr … riding the porcelain horse. How embarrassing was that?

What with working late and there being a football match tonight, I didn’t have time for tea, so instead I had some of those small toasted squares with some of the nice spreading cheese that my cleaner found for me in Leclerc a while back. It was followed by a really nice, juicy orange for pudding.

After that, there was the football. Cardiff Metro v Hwlffordd, a match postponed from a few weeks ago when Cardiff Metro’s under-19 team was playing an European Junior Cup match on the Cyncoed pitch, and why the two teams didn’t offer to switch fixtures and play it at Hwlffordd, I really don’t know.

Anyway, the first half was absolutely dreadful. It was easily the worst forty-five minutes I have ever seen, and that’s a disappointment because both sides usually play some attractive football, as I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed …

The first ten minutes of the second half were in the same vein, but then we had a really dramatic incident. A Hwlffordd player burst into the penalty area with the ball, but an excellent tackle by a Met defender put the ball out of play, with the Hwlffordd attacker falling over the body of the defender. In a decision that remains a mystery to everyone watching, the ref awarded a penalty.

Not surprisingly, the whole crowd and the Met players were incensed, and I don’t blame them either because I was too. After much dispute and debate, the referee went to consult the VAR cameras, and after a lengthy delay, he rightly revoked the penalty award.

What should then have happened was that he should have awarded a corner kick to Hwlffordd. However, he gave a dropped ball to the Cardiff Met keeper, who then kicked it upfield and the Met went on to score a goal from it.

After that, the game livened up somewhat as Hwlffordd tried to score a goal to equalise. However, they couldn’t make their mark on the game and it finished 1-0 to the Met.

So with that out of the way, I just have a couple more things to do and then I’m off to bed. There’s plenty of work for tomorrow, so I hope that this good-ish mood continues. I’ll have to add in last night’s dreams tomorrow too, so check back at some point.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about trees … "well, one of us has" – ed … a squirrel was sitting in a tree when it began to shake violently. He looked down and saw an elephant climbing the tree.
"Why are you climbing this tree?" asked the squirrel.
"I fancy eating some apples" replied the elephant.
"But this isn’t an apple tree" said the squirrel.
"I know" replied the elephant "but it’s OK. I brought some with me."

LIVE: Monday 28th September 2026 – IT HAS BEEN …

… a fairly uneventful day today. So much so that I had to struggle to think of a dramatic way of opening today’s entry, but in the end I couldn’t, so that was that. Instead, I’ll just stroll on in a chronological timeline until I have a marvellous fit of inspiration.

And so to begin, I didn’t have the early night for which I’d been hoping yesterday. Although it was before 22:30 when I went to bed, it wasn’t many minutes before it. And although I was soon asleep, it wasn’t for as long as I had hoped.

At some point, and I’ve no idea when it was, I awoke. And then I tried to go back to sleep, which was not as easy as it might have been. However, I did notice something bizarre. I can sleep quite well when I’m lying on my left side and even better when I’m lying on my right side, so those are the positions for which I try to aim.

However, when I tried that last night, I’d wake up again a short while later to find myself lying on my back, and that’s a position in which I can never go off to sleep. And thinking about it, I’ve been spending far too much time lying on my back instead of on my sides just recently.

At some point, though, I must have gone to sleep because the alarm at 06:29 awoke me from my slumbers.

We had the usual battle of wills about standing up and heading to the bathroom, and I think that it was only the possibility of meeting Emilie the Cute Consultant at dialysis that drove me onwards, having first remembered to unlock the front door. And in the bathroom, I had a good scrub up and a shave, “just in case”.

Back in here, I had a listen to the dictaphone to find out what had happened last night.

There was someting last night about me having to fill in some kind of form for something. But when I had the copy back, I noticed that quite a lot of the text that I had written had been removed. There was a note in its place saying “text removed by editor as being too long and not to the point”. I then tried to remember what it was that I had written, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember what I’d written that had been removed.

Strangely enough, I do have a form that needs completing this week. But the bit about having the text removed reminded me of what I had written last night about Kent. That, I suppose, was also too long and not to the point of whatever it is that I’m supposed to be doing.

Isabelle the Nurse turned up as usual. It’s her last day today before her week’s rest, so I wished her good luck. She replied that she’s probably going to need it because it’s raining outside right now.

After she left, I made breakfast (and my new bread is delicious) and read some more of THE REPORT OF THE WOOLHOPE NATURALISTS CLUB 1870.

Luckily, they finished talking about that gruesome parasite and have moved on to discuss the flora of the Clee Hills and the Longmynd. And in discussing autochthonous plants, he notes "At the Miocene period, or, more strictly, at its dawn, a temperate clime prevailed within the Arctic circle. Poplars, planes, and lime trees grew within twelve degrees of the Pole, and so have beds of the same fossil plants been found in North Greenland, where now an enormous ice cap covers the whole country, leaving only a narrow slip of land free from ice in summer."

When I was in Greenland in 2018 and 2019, I can promise you that it was nothing like as bad as that. I wondered what his opinion back in 1871 was about global warming, but I didn’t have long to wait before I found out.

Just two or three pages further on, we have "Mr. Croll, who attributes the changes of climate marking the different periods of the tertiary epoch to periodical variations in the eccentricity of the earth’s elliptical orbit, tells us that for the last 60,000 years eccentricity has been very small."

Back in here afterwards, I reviewed the radio programme for this coming weekend and sent it off for insertion in the stream, following which I reformatted the music that I need for the programme that I’ll be preparing. When that was all done, I even managed to re-edit a couple of songs that have gone into the folder to await my further instructions.

At 12:00 my faithful cleaner came in and sorted out my anaesthetic, and then I had to wait for the taxi. He was late today, and we already had one person in the car. We had to go to St Pair for a third one and then down all these little country lanes where our driver drove as if the hounds of hell were after him. We ended up being three minutes early at dialysis, despite how late we were running earlier.

Today, I was honoured with being placed in a single room, so I was either going to have a medical examination or the head doctor was going to come and give me … "yet" – ed … another lecture about chatting up the nurses. But it was also the farthest possible bed away from the front door. They really are making me work for a living around there.

And being early, I’d arrived at about the same time as everyone else, so I had to wait for a while before they came to sort me out. Although it was the same nurse as Saturday – one of the newer ones – the connecting up was much less painful and I was up and running by 14:20.

At first, all I wanted to do was to sleep – I don’t know why – but I livened up after I’d had my 15:00 coffee and orange juice, so I began to watch the football.

Today’s match was between two of the newly promoted clubs, Cambian United from Andypandy … "he means Tonypandy" – ed … in the Rhondda Valley and Llandudno.

Both these clubs are doing reasonably well and seem to be managing to keep up with the established mid-table clubs, which is more than can be said for some of the others, so I was expecting it to be a good match.

And I wasn’t disappointed either. Both clubs went at it hammer and tongs right from the kick-off and it ended up being one of the best matches that I’ve seen. Plenty of blood and thunder, plenty of skill, plenty of aggression. What really surprised me, though, was that Cambrian roared into a 4-0 lead after forty-seven minutes, and that was a long, long way from representing the balance of play.

In the second half, Llandudno had a change of tactics and managed to claw three goals back, but ran out of time at the end. Still, I’m not complaining at all about the game.

There was also time to watch the first twenty minutes or so of Cardiff Metropolitan v Caernarfon, and I’ll tell you more about that game when I’ve seen the rest of it.

Although I’d seen Emilie the Cute Consultant on my way in, I was right in thinking that the big white chief would come to see me. However, we just talked about the implant in my arm and the pain that it was generating when I was plugged in. He said that he’d have a chat with the nurses about trying a different method.

However, as I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … it’s not the way that they do it that’s the problem. It’s because the implant itself is damaged, as I have been told on many occasions by the doctor who gives it the six-monthly examinations.

When my time was up, I was unplugged quite quickly while my taxi driver was waiting at the door to my room. It was another one of my favourites, so we had a really good chat all the way home, like we always do. She told me all about her holiday in Brittany and how hot it was. But luckily, the campsite had a pool, so she, her husband and her two kids spent every day sitting in the pool to keep cool.

Funnily enough, I’d been thinking for several days that I hadn’t seen her for a while, but she had come over to chat with me the other day while she was on ambulance duty, and now she had come to take me home.

We were home quite quickly, and my faithful cleaner helped me into the apartment and stuck a disgusting drink into my sweaty little mitt once I’d sat down.

After she left, I added the vegan cream into my curry and gave it a good stir. Then I made some rice and veg and helped myself to a ladleful of curry. It really was delicious, and there’s plenty left to freeze for later.

Back in here, I began to write up my notes, and I was doing quite well ar first. However, this huge wave of sleep came out of nowhere, and as it passed, it took me with it.

When I awoke, I was totally incapable of carrying on, so I posted on line what I’d written up to then and went to bed. The rest can wait until tomorrow morning.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about parasites … "well, one of us has" – ed … Donald Trump was arrested and placed in a filthy parasite-infested cell.
"That must have been awful," said a news reporter "Trump having to share a cell with parasites in it."
"I know" replied his colleague. "I felt really sorry for those parasites."

LIVE: Sunday 27th September 2026 – NOW THAT’S WHAT …

… I call a really decent Sunday Day of Rest.

After I’d left the bed and sorted myself out in the bathroom, it was 11:48 according to the clock on the microwave when I went into the kitchen to start making my breakfast. I was probably out of bed at 11:25 or something like that.

Considering that I hadn’t gone to bed until after midnight, when I was letting it all hang out. And before you ask, I’ve no idea how the night went because I can’t remember. I may have woken up two or three times during the night, but I can’t really remember if I did.

One thing is certain, though, and that is that when Isabelle the Nurse opened the bedroom door, I awoke then. She took my medical card and swiped it through her machine so that she could receive payment from the Social Security. Then she sorted out my feet and legs, saying virtually nothing, and she dealt with my lower legs and feet.

What happened next is rather unclear. What was clear was that it was about 11:10 when I clicked on the clock on my telephone, and I thought that at that moment, I’d better not let myself have any more sleep. Time to show a leg.

As usual, it was another long story to try to stand up, but I eventually made it into the bathroom, and then into the kitchen to make my breakfast – porridge, black coffee, toast and grapefruit juice. And, of course, a pile of morning medication.

While I was eating, I started to read some more of THE REPORT OF THE WOOLHOPE NATURALISTS CLUB 1870 but what they were discussing threatened to put me off my breakfast, so I looked for a suitable escape route.

Sure enough, there was a passage that prompted me to go off and do some independent research, and somehow, I found myself, after following several other hints, reading up about the Savoia Marchetti SM79 bomber of the first part of the Second World War. I’m still not sure how I arrived there.

Back in here, the first thing that I did was to listen to the dictaphone to find out what went on during the night.

There should have been something on here, but the moment I reached for the dictaphone, it all evaporated.

This is becoming a far too frequent occurrence, and I shall have to take steps to deal with the matter before it becomes any more frequent.

There was something going on in the background. We were all living in Kent, working for a firm that made rope. We learnt to do them so well that the boss had given us a weekend away in a Volkswagen minibus. We thought that that was extremely nice of him. When we arrived at the cottage, it was in a really remote area. The first thing that we did was to send someone in to inspect it. He said that it was quite nice, so we all went in. We then talked about who was sharing which bedroom with who. We went upstairs to look at the bedrooms. They were very basic but looked very nice, and the bed looked very comfortable.

The story about Kent has plenty of basis in fact. When she began to live with that family in London after her father abandoned her, my mother acquired three “great aunts”, relatives of her adopted parents. They were Dolly, Gertie and Mabel. One of them, Gertie, I think, lived in Birchington, and that was where my mother and her adopted parents were living when the Luftwaffe began to bomb Manston airfield, just across the road, in 1940.

Dolly and Gertie lived in a small village called Hamstreet, near Ashford, in the middle of a row of four big old terraced houses.

When we were small kids, we used to spend every summer down there, first at Auntie Gertie’s house until she died, and then with Dolly and Mabel and their two cats, “Pussycat” and “Kattapus”, until finally Mabel died in 1964. Our father would drive us down on the Friday night as soon as school broke up, all the way through Friday night and Saturday, drop us off, have a sleep for a few hours and then go back to Cheshire ready for work on the Monday. Then he’d take the last two weeks of August off, come down and join us and then take us home ready for work and school.

In 2006, I went on a pilgrimage to visit all of the places that I knew in Kent from those days. The house in Birchington was actually up for sale, and that was very much a “get thee behind me, Satan” moment. Still, nostalgia ain’t what it used to be.

After that, there was the football – Stranraer v East Kilbride in the League Cup. This was another end-to-end game that Stranraer eventually won by the odd goal out of seven, confounding the expensive team that East Kilbride have managed to assemble.

After watching another depressing moment as Greenock Morton went down 2-0 to Inverness, I watched the rest of Trefynnon v Llansawel

That was really a very poor match, but Llansawel, even though they were down to ten men after the thirty-fourth minute, played some very nice football, in contrast to Trefynnon’s “kick and rush” tactics. The match ended 1-1, only the third point for Trefynnon, but they were lucky to have that. Even with ten men, Llansawel had the ability to do much better than they did.

Round about this moment, I crashed out, and when I awoke, I was really surprised to find that it was still light. Right at that moment, I didn’t have much of an idea where I was or what time it was, and I expected to find myself in bed in the dark during the night.

That was the key to going to make bread. Another 850-gram sesame seed loaf. And it rose just like it ought to do and baked perfectly now that I have changed the times to eight minutes at 200°C and thirty-two minutes at 180°C. It makes a decent crust, baking it like that.

As well as that, I had the slow cooker out. My friend used my slow cooker while he was here, and he was so impressed that he went out to buy one. Ever since then, he’s been sending me messages about what he’s made and how delicious it was.

Consequently, while I was organising my bread, I began to make a lentil, mushroom and sweetcorn curry, and it’s now working away on “low”, with the hope that it will be ready tomorrow before I go to dialysis. Then I can bag it up for the base of several meals at points in the future, always assuming that my appetite comes back.

Having dealt with the mountains of washing up, I came back in here to write up my notes. And now that they are finished, there are a few more things to do, and then I’ll be going to bed, later than I was hoping, but never mind. I can always sleep at dialysis if they leave me alone and don’t panic when they see me flaked out.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about curry … "well, one of us has" – ed … two guys in Canada were talking about the curries that they had recently eaten.
The first one said "I was invited to a meal with a family of First Nation Canadians. It was a beaver curry."
"That sounds great" said the second one. "What was it like?"
"Just the same as a normal curry, but it was just a little ‘otter."
The second one said "I went to that Indian restaurant at Snowden in Montreal, and I had a pelican curry."
"What was it like?"
"Very nice, but the bill was enormous."

LIVE: Wednesday 23rd September 2026 – WHAT A LOVELY …

… day I’ve had today!

Round about 10:30 this morning, the doorbell rang and there on the doorstep were Liz and Terry. They have come over to Normandy to catch up on friends and contacts, and I was one of the people whom they wished to see, which was really nice of them.

Actually, I could do with some cheering up today because it was another awful night last night. I was actually in bed by 22:30, which makes a change, and I was looking forward to a good eight hours’ sleep until the alarm went off at 06:29.

However, it was not to be. I awoke again at some early time in the morning – and it was early too because the lights were on in the car park so it must have been before 02:30. After that, I lay there for a while, tossing and turning and trying to go to sleep.

Eventually, I looked at the time and it was 05:52, so I reckoned that in five minutes, I’ll haul myself out of bed and claim another early start. The next thing that I remembered was the alarm going off. Why is it that I always fall asleep at the wrong moment? Why couldn’t I have fallen asleep an hour earlier?

It took the usual long, long period for me to find the courage and enthusiasm to haul myself out of bed, and the first thing that I did was to go and sort myself out in the bathroom.

Back in here, there were the dictaphone notes to transcribe, so I set to work on those.

This is another one of those dreams that evaporated when I was picking up the dictaphone. I was walking around Crewe with an old friend of mine. We were by the new parade of shops in Market Street. I happened to mention that I’d written a book and he said that he would love to be able to read it and maybe have a copy. But I told him that it was a bit of a children’s fairy tale more than anything else, but he still seemed to be interested in having a copy. That’s all that I remember of this.

Even if I can’t remember very much about this dream, I can still see where it took place. It was at the beginning of Market Street, where Lloyds Bank used to be in the olden days, and we went over Chester Bridge and down past the top of High Street towards the traffic lights by the “Duke of Bridgewater” pub where we intended to turn right into Wistaston Road.

The story about the children’s book is of course true. I’m still on chapter twelve at the moment, not having had the time to go any further with it just recently, and I’m still looking for a reader, but it has to be a child or someone who understands children, and that would rule my friend out immediately.

There was a bit more about that dream that I remembered later. I’d often go out in the morning for a walk and I’d always end up at the same bookshop at a couple of minutes after 09:00 when it opened. There would be people sitting at tables reading books, there would be lots of new books there, and there would be records and second-hand records. There was a hi-fi section at the back and I was looking at the hi-fi equipment, thinking that I’d had my hi-fi equipment since 1985 and it’s forty-one years old. I was looking around at all these things, but I ended up at the counter at the bakery. I’d buy some bread and some croissants and take most of them home. Then I’d go out again another day at the same time.

The shop in this dream reminded me of the old British Home Stores shop in Crewe, demolished when they knocked down the town centre a couple of years ago. And I’m impressed by the memory of when I bought the hi-fi and the maths of working out how long it is that I’ve owned it, while I was asleep.

The story in this dream about buying the bread and taking it home reminded me of when I had to go into work in Brussels early some Saturday mornings for a couple of hours, I’d always come home with couques (patisseries) for breakfast for Laurence, Roxanne and me. It’s a Belgian national habit of eating patisseries for breakfast on a Sunday morning, but we’d have them too for a Saturday morning breakfast if I was up and about.

Another thing about this dream is that I began it by saying “there’s a bit more about that dream,” referring to the first dream. However, I can’t see where the second part would fit into it.

Later on, there was something about baking. I’d been baking with whatever bits of equipment I happened to find. Either I’d bought or someone had given me a huge collection of baking accessories like moulds, whisks and things like that – there were all sorts – so my assistant and I began to make something for tea. I thought that it came out extremely well, so I discussed it with someone else. I remember saying that it always used to cook OK when I lived here, but of course it was twenty years ago and things could possibly have changed in that time.

This does sound very much like my own experience here – cooking with a make-do set of equipment accumulated one by one over the past thirty-four years. Yes, that’s how long it has been since I left the UK. I keep on meaning to upgrade the baking equipment with a proper kit, but up to now, I’ve yet to find what I need.

And it was actually twenty years ago back in April when I left the big apartment at the Avenue d’Exposition in Brussels and moved down to the farm. It was impressive remembering that too while I was asleep.

As for the kitchen assistant too, there’s a story behind that, but the World is not yet ready to hear it.

Halfway through transcribing the dictaphone notes, I suddenly remembered that I hadn’t unlocked the front door. I had to dash … "well, sort of" – ed … into the living room and unlock it before she arrived.

It didn’t take long for her to turn up either, so I was only just in time. She asked if I had any news about the Hound of the Baskervilles, so I explained that it was Oktoberfest time in Munich so I’ll be expecting garbled reports for the next couple of weeks until the festival closes down and everyone sobers up.

After she had dealt with my feet and legs, she cleared off on her rounds and I went to make my breakfast – porridge and toast with coffee and fruit juice to wash down my medication. While I was eating, I was reading some more of THE REPORT OF THE WOOLHOPE NATURALISTS CLUB 1870.

Not very much more of it because, whilst talking about Llangorse Lake, it was coming up with all kinds of interesting facts and curious stories, so I spent much of the time following up these leads and enlightening myself on old Breconshire myths and legends.

Back in here, there were the usual things to do, and I also reviewed the radio programme for this coming weekend and sent it off ready for adding into the stream for broadcasting.

And then, we had the famous knock on the door.

There’s an old Roman saying, originally by Virgil – "timeo Danaos et dona ferentes" meaning “beware of Greeks bringing gifts”, but anyone who comes to my house bringing six tins of baked beans for me is more than welcome. And not only that, it’s been a couple of years since I’ve seen them, so just like the Hound of the Baskervilles and his master, they are always welcome here whenever they pass by.

The first thing that I did was to make Liz a coffee, and then we sat down and brought each other up to date with the latest news – and there was a lot to say too. It was wonderful to catch up with old friends like this.

My faithful cleaner breezed in too. She’d been to the chemists and fetched my medication for the next month. And when she opened the medication drawer, Liz gasped. She hadn’t seen as much medication in one place outside a pharmacy before.

At lunchtime, we made a salad with lettuce, tomatoes, olives, cucumbers, kidney beans and potatoes and it really was nice too. There is some left over too so I might have that tomorrow night for tea if I’m hungry. But as I said last night, I don’t know what’s happened, but I seem to have my appetite coming slowly back. And Isabelle the Nurse seems to think that it may well be the perfusion that I had on Monday that has stimulated me as well as the red blood cells (I asked her this morning).

We carried on chatting until about 16:30 when Liz and Terry left. They are only here for a few days and they had other fish to fry, so I thanked them for their visit and I look forward to the next time.

After they had gone, I had a rather late disgusting drink and midday medication and then came in here to do some work, but instead, I crashed out for a while. That’s a disappointment because for the last couple of days, I’ve managed to keep going and I had hoped that this run would continue. I shall have to work harder.

Anyway, once I’ve backed up and done the stats, I shall be off to bed for … "he hopes" – ed … an early night.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about the chemists … "well, one of us has" – ed … my cleaner told me that she was there when another woman came in.
She went up to the chemist and asked him "do you have cotton wool balls, by any chance?"
The chemist replied "what do you think I am, madam? A teddy bear?"

LIVE: Monday 21st September 2026 – YET ANOTHER CHAOTIC …

… day at dialysis – just the same (give or take the odd bit here and there) as last Monday, and I wasn’t really in the mood for it, because I’ve had a chaotic day too.

Last night, it wasn’t too far short of midnight when I finally made my way into bed, and the good news was that I was asleep quite quickly.

However, it wasn’t for long, though. I’ve no idea what time I awoke, but as it was pitch-black outside, I’d say that it wasn’t much after 02:30. And once awake, I lay there tossing and turning and trying to make myself comfortable in bed so that I could go back to sleep, but nothing seemed to work.

At least, that’s what I thought, but round about 06:05 I had another one of those dramatic awakenings that I used to have regularly at one point. There was no point in going back to sleep at that point, with all of my appointments today, so by 06:15 I was in the bathroom organising myself ready for the onslaught. I even had a shave in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant later.

There was actually something on the dictaphone from the night, as I found out on Tuesday morning, so I’ve added it in here.

There was something last night about me being sent to one of these RAF filling station type of places where people go after they have been injured or after they’ve been sick and their position in their regular flight had been filled by someone else. So I’d been sent to this place to meet up with other people similar to form a crew, and then I suddenly realised that I can’t have done that because I wasn’t born until nine years after the war ended so it’s just not possible for me to have been there.

There actually was a place like this at one of the RAF training centres, although it was hardly a “filling station” in the normal usage of the term. Bomber crews were assembled simply amongst themselves towards the end of their training and they usually stuck together throughout their tour of thirty missions. However, if someone were sick or injured, someone else would be co-opted into the crew and when the original member returned to duty, he would find that his place had been taken. Consequently he’d be sent to the “training centre” where he could team up with other people to form a new crew.

However, I’m impressed that within a dream, I can recognise the absurdity of the situation of being in this training centre at least nine years before I was even born.

Back in the kitchen, I put away the washing up from yesterday and made sure that the place looked nice. After that, I finished organising what I needed to take with me and then had a little snooze hunched over the table while I waited for the taxi to arrive.

The car was booked for 08:15, and my doorbell rang at 08:14. Excellent timing, that was. There was just me going in the car this morning. We had patchy fog all the way, not as bad as my chauffeur said it was when she started work at 05:30 this morning.

We arrived at the hospital bang on 09:00, and she pushed me in a wheelchair up to the hôpital de jour. I know that I have said that I won’t go in a wheelchair, but where I was going was miles away from the entrance and, at this time of the morning, the drivers have plenty of other things to do that accompany me, slowly and painfully on foot.

The nursing auxiliary and the nurse fussed around me when I arrived, and wasn’t the latter relieved when I said I had a chemotherapy port? It made her task so much easier and mine too because I could then type with both hands.

By about 09:40 I was up and running with this stuff to stimulate my red blood cells, and I was told that the treatment would last a little over two hours.

The bad news (at first) was that there seemed to be no internet up there, but I had a ferret around and eventually managed to conjure up something, so I watched LLansawel against Trefelin from Friday night. It was a miserable night last Friday, and playing football in a monsoon on a paddy field wasn’t very encouraging. It was something of a lottery out there and I don’t think that the teams could have been too dissatisfied with the end result.

As for the fans, though, it was no real spectacle. It was a long-ball hoof upfield and another long-hoof upfield in reply. I could count on the fingers of my hand the number of passes that found a team mate. I’m sure that in this weather, they would have been better off playing the ball to feet instead of in the air.

After that, I started Connah’s Quay Nomads v Cardiff Metro. I didn’t get to see much of it so I’ll tell you about it later.

During the morning, I had a visit from no less a person than Emilie the Cute Consultant. She came to see how I was doing and, once more, just like two years ago, she sat on the end of my bed while she chatted. The plan that they have worked out is that because they have still not been able to arrange anything with a haematologist, I’ll have to come here every four weeks for this treatment. And right on cue, the nurse came with my next appointment – Monday 19th October at 09:30.

And it really was nice to chat to Emilie the Cute Consultant. It seems that she still loves me.

Round about 11:50, the treatment was finished and the nurse unplugged me. She said that I had to wait for a while to let my head clear and, in any case, the taxi would be here to take me across the road at about 13:30. Waiting wasn’t going to be as bad as I thought, especially as I was brought a meal – stuffed tomatoes, bread, sliced pears and an apple purée. It was better than the coffee earlier, though, which was served in just about the oldest mug I have ever seen.

Round about then, I began to wonder when the nurse was going to come back to apply the anaesthetic on my arm. There was no sign so I asked the nursing auxiliary, who replied that all of the nurses had gone for lunch. So what are the connections going to be like with no anaesthetic, do you think?

The car turned up bang on schedule and took me across the road. I was there at 13:40 but had to wait until 14:30 to be plugged in. Had I known that the wait was going to be so long, I’d have persuaded one of the nurse there to apply my anaesthetic there and then as I arrived.

The connections were nothing like as painful I was expecting. In fact, I’ve had worse than those even when I’ve been covered in anaesthetic, so I didn’t mind too much.

Once I was finally up and running, I was left pretty much alone for the session. The low blood pressure alarm didn’t ring at all – not even once.

However, I was really feeling tired – I’d had a battle to keep away across the road – but here, I did actually fall asleep, only to be shaken awake by a nurse who was afraid that I was busy pushing up the daisies. And another one of the doctors came to see me to find out how I was doing. I’ve no idea what is the reason for this sudden popularity.

The next match to watch was the rest of Connah’s Quay Nomads v Cardiff Metro. Another game played in a monsoon, it was another one of these end-to-end games, but the Nomads’ class showed through in the end and they went on to win 1-0.

The old guy who was rushed to hospital last week was there today, looking much better. However, it was the turn of a woman this time who began to have problems. All the nurses and doctors congregated around her and in the end, my chauffeur was hijacked to rush her over the road to the emergencies.

They had begun to unplug me, but as everyone was finishing at the same time, I was left until almost last. The nurse came to offer her excuses, but I told her that although I don’t mind waiting, I’d be much happier if they left my machine running so that I could take advantage of the extra time.

Eventually, my chauffeur arrived, the young chatty guy. We had someone else to drop off en route so it was a miserable 19:05 when I finally arrived home. My cleaner helped me into the apartment and stuck a disgusting drink into my sweaty little mitt.

After she left, I made a quick tea – just a little potato salad because I wasn’t all that hungry tonight.

So now, having finished my notes, I’m going to try to have an early night for once.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about the hôpital de jour … "well, one of us has" – ed … I overheard two of the nurses talking to each other
"I hear that there’s a case of brucellosis just come in" said the one.
"Oh well," said the other. "It’ll make a change from Lucozade."

LIVE: Friday 18th September 2026 – THIS IS THE …

… last day of my summer holidays today.

The other day, I know that I said that I would start work today, but falling asleep at my desk after breakfast and remaining like that until exactly 11:21 rather made up my mind for me.

It’s understandable though. Even though I crashed out last night by about 21:30 and was well-tucked up in bed, going to bed early just means that I wake up early, as I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed …

The thing that startled me most was hearing the “click” from the immersion heater relay. “Surely it can’t be 06:38 already, it’s switching off and I’ve slept through the alarms?” No it wasn’t. It was 01:10 and the immersion heater was just switching on.

From then on, I just tossed and turned all night until I finally checked the time again – 05:52. That made up my mind so I leapt to my feet … "well, sort of" – ed … and went over to the computer to finish off last night’s notes, which are now on line.

There was time to do a few other things, including checking the stats, where I found that once more, an AI chatbot has visited my website and used ONE OF MY WEB PAGES as a reference. I forget how many times this is now.

When the nurse arrived, he was very disappointed to find me all alone. He’d grown quite fond of the Hound of the Baskervilles, and I’m sure that the feeling was mutual. But never mind. He sorted out my legs and feet and then cleared off on his travels.

After he left, I made breakfast and read some more of THE REPORT OF THE WOOLHOPE NATURALISTS CLUB 1870.

This report, written in 1871 or so, describes the field trips of the members and guests and includes verbatim copies of the “papers” that were read at their lectures. The one that we’ve been discussing today is meteorology, and, bearing in mind that this is 1871, this following quote is bound to be of interest to almost everyone and takes my “earliest mention of global warming” back yet another few years.

"it appears plain from this diagram that our climate has become warmer, the month of January particularly, say from 2 to 3 degrees. There is not so much difference in the summer months, or even of March; but the whole year is somewhat warmer on the average than at the close of the last century."

This is a fascinating quote from a group of committed and determined observers, and it’s a shame that it’s been missed by most modern means of mass communication. And it’s a good indication of the fact that global warming has been around longer than most people realise.

Back in here again, I had a few things to do but found myself fast asleep in my chair yet again, as I said earlier. How I wish that I could avoid it, especially when it takes a good twenty minutes at least to pull myself together afterwards. In fact, I don’t think that it was until I had my disgusting drink and midday medication (and midday plum) at about 12:40 that I was ready to go.

Back at my desk, the first thing was to transcribe the dictaphone notes from last night.

This is a dream that I can only remember bits of because it all evaporated when I reached for the dictaphone. I was with another younger boy from school, and there was something going on there that I can’t remember. And then I ended up in London again and I was driving away from the city centre and the North Circular Road in a sort-of North East direction through one set of housing after another after another after another, and it basically involved Liz, “that Liz”, not “this Liz” and me, and we were somewhere at some kind of fête and they called the tombola number winners, and it was a ticket that I had, and the prize was something like £113,000. Naturally, we were both delighted. We met someone who was obviously jealous because she began to ask us what we were all going to do with it and all of that. Liz seemed to think that splitting it in half was not the right kind of thing. I think she wanted her daughter to have a share too. She was annoyed when I was talking to this person about splitting it in half and stormed out. I stormed off after her but I couldn’t persuade her to come back in. In the end, she just disappeared. I went to find her daughter, and her daughter and I looked around for a while. Her daughter showed me her wedding photos, and I hadn’t realised that she’d married. That was when I had that bit about driving through London thousands of miles later while I looked to find her, and I remember the road that was dark and damp and all these terraced houses and old-type semis. I pulled up at a house at one point, and another Ford Granada pulled up behind me. I went in, and these two women asked me if I was their taxi, so I replied “no”. The other driver said that he was theirs, but he sounded completely drunk from my point of view.

“That Liz” appears quite often in my dreams, but this is the first appearance for many a long year of her daughter. Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that I TOOK HER TO CANADA IN 2010 after her mother died. And in any case, neither of them was the kind to make a fuss about money.

However, I’m back in London again, aren’t I? This is becoming quite a habit.

There was another dream about being back in Pionsat. Half of the football club was there waiting for the other half to go for a match. Eventually, they turned up and they went. There were plenty of players whom I knew from before, and not one of them said “hello” to me. They went off, but they came back a few hours later this Sunday morning, but they didn’t tell me how the game had gone.

This is possibly something to do with the merger nine years ago of Pionsat and Marcillat football clubs in an attempt to make a much stronger first XI. However, it didn’t work out that way, but that’s another story.

It’s interesting to see that they don’t notice me. Was I a ghost at that moment? That’s always an intriguing possibility.

When I was working in an office, there was a girl who was working there. She was married and had two children, or was it three children? But her husband was flirting around with one of her work colleagues. It turned out that they went swimming together and doing all sorts of other things together, leaving this girl pretty much on her own, so she used to come along to talk to me about it. I said “I know what advice I would give you, but it’s not my business. She had another friend who used to come along and talk to the two of us, and she made some kind of remark that I hadn’t noticed that I’d started to hold this girl’s hand. I felt “well! What’s happening here?”

I know this girl right enough, and she certainly didn’t have three children. The situation also related to her too, although I was never lucky enough to hold her hand, much as I would have liked to.

But being lucky in a dream is an unusual situation for me anyway. My family usually comes along and puts the spanner in the works long before we get to this point.

And then, of course, I was back in London again and was walking around the streets. I’d parked the van up somewhere on the edge of the city and I’d walked in. There had been some kind of confusion that Nerina and I had won all this money, but a solicitor just picked it up and walked off with it and refused to hand it back. I went to see my friendly solicitor at work, who happened to be there at the time, and had him write out the statement as to what he saw, because I was going to take it to the police. Then I had to walk back to my van through the streets of north-east London that I’ve walked through dozens of times in a dream. I started it up, and I was surprised that it started. I set out to drive away, but I realised that I hadn’t had anything to eat for ages, so I turned round and headed back. There was a bakery that I’d visited when I’d been walking around London in a dream, and with a chip shop next to it. So I parked up there and went off to buy some food.

This looks as if it might be connected to the first dream, although Nerina is there instead of “that Liz”. As for my friendly neighbourhood solicitor, I know him too, and he’s certainly not a solicitor, not by any means.

And back in London again, and in the same street as the bakery and the chip shop that I have visited on numerous occasions in recent dreams.

Having finished all of that, I began to write chapter nine of my story. This is an important chapter, the key in fact to the whole book and, if I’m lucky, the whole series. It’s where the heroine suddenly finds her feet in her new world after her tragedies in the earlier chapters, and it took quite a while to write. However, it’s turned out exactly as I would like it to.

All I need now, as I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … is to find myself a target audience willing to read it to see what she thinks. So if you have a girl in your entourage aged, say, between nine and twelve who might like to read it, let me know.

Chapter ten will be next, but I’ve no idea when I’ll find the time to write it now. It won’t be tonight because there’s football on later – newly promoted Airbus UK Broughton v established Y Fflint, lingering third from bottom without a win.

This is a game that Y Fflint must be targeting if they are to close the gap that’s widening at the foot of the table, cutting off the bottom three.

My cleaner put her sooty foot into the apartment and did some cleaning in the middle of all of this, and, poor girl, she was here for almost three hours this afternoon. She’s still not convinced that she’s collected everything, even though this is the first ever time that I’ve seen her use a vacuum cleaner. At least, I think that the place is spotless now.

When chapter nine was finished, I fed it through the first of my two chatbot proofreaders, and he liked it very much, so I fed it through the second one. There were a couple of typing errors and missed punctuation that it found, but the continuity and the chronology are holding up really well.

Tea tonight was my usual Friday favourite – air-fried chips with vegan sausage and baked beans with cheese and black pepper. It was delicious beforehand, but since my friend advised me to boil the chips first in order to soften them before frying them in the air fryer, they have come out even better, so I really enjoyed my meal tonight.

Especially when it was followed by a mixture of tinned apricots and tinned fruit cocktail with some of that lovely vegan ice cream from Noz. It’s a shame that I don’t know anyone else who shops there, otherwise they would be getting a weekly order.

And having said all of that, I can’t believe that I’ve had a meal and enjoyed it. God knows what it’s done to my water retention issues, but ask me if I care.

Back in here, there was the football – Airbus UK Broughton v Y Fflint. As I said earlier, this was a match that Y Fflint needed to win to kickstart their season, and indeed they played some really nice football – in fact, they showed much more skill than Airbus did. So what I simply do not understand is why they lost the match 4-1. They were the much better team, I reckoned, and they had the Airbus defence under siege for some very long periods, even after they had had a player sent off.

Mind you, their goal was a cracker. A young lad – Levi Morrison, I think – had just come on as a substitute and was playing right-back. He played a magnificent ball right over the top of the Airbus defence into the path of an onrushing striker who had the simplest of jobs to lash it into the net.

And my “man of the match”? Lassana Mendes, Y Fflint’s Spanish midfielder, who ran the game better than anyone I have seen for a long time.

It has to be said, however, that playing football in a monsoon with hurricane-force winds and the distractions of aeroplanes taking off and landing in the background can’t have been easy.

And whatever happened at Caernarfon? Four players (three from Cambrian United) were sent off, eighteen minutes of stoppage time and a 9-1 victory for the home side. That has to be a game worth watching, and I shall be looking forward to it tomorrow at dialysis.

But right now, later than ever, I’m off to bed. I need my beauty sleep if I am going to look my best for whoever knows who comes along.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about winning at tombola … "well, one of us has" – ed … it reminds me of the time Nerina asked me what I would do if I won the lottery.
"Give you half and throw you out" I said.
"Good!" she said. "Here’s £6:00, half of my win last night. Now clear off!"

LIVE: Thursday 17th September 2026 – IT’S ALL EXTREMELY …

… quiet in here tonight. And that’s because I’m on my own. Round about midday, the Hound of the Baskervilles dragged his master off to the car and the last time that I saw them, they were heading due east somewhere, in the general direction of Munich.

It was really lovely having company. After all, I’m not used to it. and as I said to him … "the friend, not the Hound of the Baskervilles" – ed … it’s open house here, and he and his sidekick are welcome to come here any time they want and can stay as long as they like.

Especially if he continues to make the coffee like that.

And I was ready for a mug of coffee this morning. I was in bed at something like a reasonable time, and although the wind was blowing, it didn’t disturb me that much and I was soon asleep.

However, round about 04:00, there was an enormous gust of wind that awoke me dramatically, and I wasn’t the only one to be awakened because my friend told me later that the Hound of the Baskervilles had awoken him round about that time, so something had obviously scared him … "the Hound of the Baskervilles, not the friend" – ed …

Once I was awake, I found it hard to go back to sleep and I tossed and turned for hours. However, at some point, I must have dozed off because the alarm awoke me.

And for once, I failed to beat the second alarm, dismal failure that I am. I just couldn’t unstick myself from the bed and I don’t know why. Consequently, I was quite a while late starting work this morning.

The first task was to listen to the dictaphone to see where I’d been during the night.

During World War II the Chinese had decided to co-operate with the Allies against Japan, so they had sent radio signalmen on board many of the Allied ships. Those ships flew a white flag with the letter "G" on it. Someone made some remark about the one on his boat, saying that he was wearing some kind of flowing kimono or something like that in luxurious silk. Of course, we were sitting there thinking that he’s not going to last five minutes like that.

Being on board a ship would be nothing to bother me, although I have no idea where the Chinese man in his blue flowing kimono comes into it all.

Then this dream changed to something else. I was with a colleague from work and we were in Czechoslovakia or somewhere, and I was living there, and it was very similar to that one about Poland or Czechoslovakia the other week. We had to go to see someone, so another one of the workers picked me up and drove me all the way to Prague for this meeting. It turned out in effect that there was only going to be two of us, a young person from the other side. We had this meeting in what used to be a railway station, and we were chatting really about not very much at all. Just as the meeting was ending, this guy said that he’d forgotten to give him something. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a hammerhead. He said that that had fallen off someone’s Land Rover the other day. I mentioned a name and asked “it’s not him, is it, because he’s only just bought a new one?” but it wasn’t. Anyway, what happened next? So we made ready to go, and I suddenly remembered that someone had given me an axe head to sharpen, so I was busy sharpening the blade on the axe. The person with me was rather frightened in case I hurt myself, so he held my elbow. That led to an argument because you can’t sharpen anything if someone is holding your arm.

We’ve been spending a lot of time in Czechoslovakia and the Czech Republic just recently. Wishful thinking on my part, obviously. But the name that I mentioned was someone related in part to where I used to work.

Sharpening the axe head is also an interesting situation to contemplate, with someone trying to stop me carrying out my plans, which seem to have been infiltrated. It’s a nuisance, isn’t it?

The nurse came along for his final German lesson, a final big hug of the Hound of the Baskervilles and to sort out my feet and legs. And then another Welsh lesson, big hug, etc., before parting.

The Hound of the Baskervilles dragged his master off on yet another walkie, and I made breakfast and read some more of THE REPORT OF THE WOOLHOPE NATURALISTS CLUB 1870.

Today’s subject is columnar ice, and that set me off on the trail of William Scoresby. He was one of the earliest of the “ice-masters” who worked the whaling ships in the Davis Strait and places like that in the first quarter of the nineteenth century. He gave a great deal of advice to the Admiralty about his experiences in the Hugh Arctic, especially concerning the ill-fated Franklin Expedition, but it was usually always rejected because he was a “civilian” and “the Admiralty knew best”, even if no Royal Navy sailors had ever set foot in the places where Scoresby had been.

His book, “Journal of a Voyage to the Northern Whale Fishery”, IS AVAILABLE ON LINE and as of this morning, is available in my own little digital book collection to read at a later date. I can see that I shall have to take my laptop with me when I go, in order to read all these books at my leisure. I hope that they have charging points down below where I’m going. Would I need an international adapter?

Back in here, there were a few things that needed finishing off, and then I started to make a couple of plans for things that I need to do over the weekend. However, proceedings were brought to an abrupt halt by the alarm reminding me that I need to prepare for dialysis. When you think about it, it’s bizarre that I have to set an alarm to remind me, but it’s not a case of “I might forget”. It’s just that with having this tendency to fall asleep at strange times and in strange places, I don’t want to be asleep when the taxi comes for me.

In the kitchen, I had my disgusting drink and midday medication, and my cleaner came to put the anaesthetic on my arm. However, as you might expect, she spent more time saying goodbye to the Hound of the Baskervilles, who was on the point of leaving.

After everyone had left, I waited for the taxi – not that I had to wait long because it was here at 12:42. There was already one passenger aboard, and we had to stop at the Aqua-gym at St Pair to pick up our usual Thursday passenger. Consequently, we arrived at dialysis early, not that it did me much good because so did everyone else, and I had to wait until 14:20 before I was up and running.

Once I was finally on my way, I could watch the football. Today, it was Trefelin, near the bottom of the table, against Penybont, third from top. And it was not, as you might expect, another “men against boys” encounter, but Trefelin pushed Penybont all the way and the latter had to work really hard for their 1-0 victory. Trefelin’s defence was excellent, except for that one lapse of concentration that cost them dear.

After that, we had the first half of Llandudno v Caernarfon. Llandudno, another newly promoted side, has adapted well to the level of skill required in the Premier League, and when I ran out of time watching the game, they were down 1-0 but by no means out of the contest and had, in fact, looked the better side.

There had been a few interruptions during my session. For once, the blood pressure alarm sounded only once or twice, but the most important was the doctor, telling me that she’d arranged this Hôpital de Jour thing and I should be expecting to hear from the hospital quite soon about it. And as she was walking away, my telephone rang. It was the hospital telling me that I had to be there on Monday morning at 09:00.

Blimey! Things are moving fast!

Half an hour later, the nurse came to give me the details of the appointment and said that she’d arranged the taxi to pick me up and the one to take me to dialysis afterwards. What a day that will be!

The nurse who was on duty was the one who is … errr … more relaxed about her working methods and, for some reason that I have yet to understand, switched off my machine a good five minutes before the end of the session, despite my protests. Every gram or millilitre that they can squeeze out of me is important.

Not only that, but she didn’t come back to unplug me for ten minutes so she may as well have left it running.

My taxi driver, the same one who brought me, was waiting for me, but we had to go across to the hospital to pick up someone else going to Granville so it was about 18:30 when I arrived home. My faithful cleaner was waiting for me and helped me into my apartment, where she stuck a disgusting drink into my sweaty little mitt.

After she left, I began to think about eating but I couldn’t face cooking anything tonight, so I had some crackers with cheese spread, followed by one of my nice, juicy plums. And it was so juicy that I’d better eat the rest quite quickly.

Once I’d dined, I began to write out my notes, but as usual, the dialysis had been a little too much and I couldn’t stay awake. I ended up posting on-line as far as I’d reached and went to bed. The rest can wait.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about the High Arctic… "well, one of us has" – ed … there was a radio programme in Canada once discussing global warming, the retreat of the ice and the migration northwards of the species who live on it.
However, the programme was more concerned with the polar bears who were migrating south into human-inhabited zones hunting for food.
Part of the discussion concerned the odd handful of polar bears who migrated south, and then back north again, then back south etc., as if they couldn’t make up their minds.
"There’s no particular worry about those" said a panellist.
"Why not?" asked the presenter.
"They are what we call the ‘bi-polar bears’"

LIVE: Wednesday 16th September 2026 – THINGS HAVE BEEN …

… a little better today that yesterday, which was in itself an improvement from Monday. However, before I start getting up my hopes, I have dialysis tomorrow, and so I’m expecting to be down at Ground Zero again on Friday morning.

But carpe diem, hey! Let’s just talk about today, shall we?

And “today” is probably right because it was after midnight this morning – 00:15 to be exact – when I finally crawled into bed after such a hectic day yesterday. And despite the howling gale that was going on outside … "and is still going on right now even as we speak" – ed … I managed to go to sleep fairly quickly.

Once more, though, there was the dramatic awakening at about 02:00, just like yesterday and with no good reason either. I was tossing and turning for what seemed like hours, and I noticed that I was still awake at 02:53, but I must have gone to sleep at some point thereafter because at 06:29, the alarm awoke me from a very deep sleep.

Surprisingly, I was able quite easily to be sitting on the side of the bed. But changing from that position to being upright and moving about is not so easy. It took a good ten minutes, maybe even more, before I was sitting on my chair at the computer.

The first job was to spell-check the notes from yesterday and put them on line. And then there was a pile of little things that need doing, so I made a good start on them. But eventually, I heard the sound of distant coffee mugs being rattled, so I stopped what I was doing and went off to investigate.

Sure enough, coffee was on its way, so I nipped off for a quick ride on the porcelain horse and then into the bathroom to sort myself out. And I was finished and back in the kitchen just as the coffee finished percolating. How good was that timing?

While we were drinking our coffee, we were chatting about the overnight news and things like that, but we noticed that all of a sudden, the Hound of the Baskervilles stood bolt-upright, his ears erect and his tail wagging. And then he made for the door.

About thirty seconds later, the doorbell rang and in walked the nurse. The Hound of the Baskervilles darted towards him and insisted on having a good stroke and hug before he would let him in.

Eventually, the nurse could turn his attention to me, and he dealt with my legs and feet. However, on leaving, he was once again cornered by the Hound of the Baskervilles, who insisted on yet another good stroke.

After the nurse had left, the Hound of the Baskervilles dragged his master off for walkies. I made breakfast and read some more of THE REPORT OF THE WOOLHOPE NATURALISTS CLUB 1870.

Today, they were discussing the village of Kilpeck, the castle of which was the administrative centre of “Archenfield”, the part of the Welsh kingdom of Ergyng that was annexed by the Mercians towards the end of the Ninth Century.

Naturally, that led me off down another dead end, so I didn’t progress very far with the book. Never mind, though. There’s always tomorrow.

Back in here, I finished off what I’d been doing before coffee and then continued my summer holidays. After all, my visitors leave me tomorrow, so I’m back at work on Friday.

Perhaps the most important task was to proof-read the seven chapters of my book so far. I found several mistakes and made a few alterations here and there to clear up a few bits of confusion.

Having done that and had my disgusting drink and midday medication this afternoon, I programmed another artificial intelligence chatbot to be a proofreader and also to check for continuity (I don’t want my characters leaving home in red clothes and turning up two minutes later in green ones) and for chronological errors (none of my characters would be using a mobile telephone in 1987, for example).

Having done that, I ran my book through the chatbot, chapter at a time, and he pulled up a few errors that I had missed, as well as a couple of continuity errors. He also asked me if I would like a few suggestions as to how I should continue (I hadn’t asked him to do that, by the way), but I declined.

Having said that, though, when I’ve finished how I want this book to be, I’ll go back and ask him to make some suggestions, just to see, out of curiosity, where he would have taken this story from this point onwards.

At some point, though, I must have fallen asleep because I awoke rather suddenly at about 16:20. I’ve no idea when I fell asleep, and I certainly felt no indication whatsoever beforehand that I was about to drop off.

So I carried on until all of the proofreading was done and then I went back to check it over again, just to make sure.

By now, I could smell food coming from the kitchen. Tea was about to be served. My friend had made fried potato slices with onion and ratatouille. That was really nice, especially when followed by tinned apricots and vegan ice cream from Noz.

So back in here, I’ll finish off my notes, do the stats and the backup, etc., and then go to bed. And if the wind drops, I might even be able to go to sleep tonight.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about proof readers and artificial intelligence … "well, one of us has" – ed … I asked one chatbot once to come up with a witty advertisement for a firm offering specialised services to authors, etc.
The advert it came up with was "(xxx) and co., specialised services to authors. We do poofreading, speling and tpying."

LIVE: Monday 14th September 2026 – I HAD NOTHING ON …

… the dictaphone this morning.

Mind you, that’s not really any surprise, because if you don’t go to sleep, you can’t dream, can you?

Yes, last night was a proper nuit blanche, and it was a shame because, eschewing all luxuries, including food, I’d finished my notes at some kind of respectable time and was in bed fairly early, looking forward to a good night’s sleep.

Instead, I tourné en ronde – “tossed and turned” in my bed for hour after hour, at times in total despair, because I know what “no sleep last night” means for this afternoon at dialysis when I want to watch a football match, or tonight when I come home, or tomorrow morning when my new Welsh class begins – so if there are no notes for tonight when you log in to look, you’ll know why.

However, the time was not totally wasted. I began to plot the next few chapters of my book, and before I’d finished, I’d not only finished this book in my head but written the following two too. So no time is ever wasted.

As well as that, I’m going to claim an “early start” because when the alarm should have gone off at 06:29 (but it didn’t because I’d switched it off), I’d been at my desk working for a good fifteen minutes. It’s a shame that I’m still wheezing and coughing because I would otherwise have got up much earlier and dictated a pile of radio notes. If I’m going to be going to hospital for any length of time, I’ll need to be as up-to-date as possible because dictating in a hospital bed is totally impossible.

Eventually, I heard signs of life in the kitchen as if coffee was being made so I went in to join everyone and had a hot, strong coffee put into my sweaty little mitt. My friend and I chatted for a while, and eventually, Isabelle the Nurse turned up. the Hound of the Baskervilles hardly moved a muscle, but he wagged his tail and let Isabelle stroke him before she attended to me.

Then, before leaving, she made another fuss of him because she’s off tonight on her week off and she won’t see him for a few months.

Once she’d left, the Hound of the Baskervilles had his breakfast and dragged his master off for walkies. I had a good wash and scrub up, and also a shave in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant this afternoon at dialysis. Then I went to make my breakfast.

While I was eating, I was reading some more of THE REPORT OF THE WOOLHOPE NATURALISTS CLUB 1870. Yet again, the Club is managing to steer clear of controversy. Their criticism of another member’s viewpoint is usually expressed in a very good-natured way that doesn’t really cause offence. If I come across a good example, I’ll post it on here for you to see.

When I came back in here, I had the next radio programme to review before I sent it off to be added into the stream for the weekend. I can’t remember what I did after that, but there was still some time to watch a bit of the Colwyn Bay v Connah’s Quay Nomads match from Saturday in the JD Cymru League, played before yet another four-figure crowd, mostly from Colwyn Bay because the Nomads don’t even have their own ground (they share with Y Fflint), never mind any support.

It’s a fact that the crowds that watch two of Wales’s leading clubs (TNS and Connah’s Quay Nomads) have an appallingly low level of attendance at home, whereas even Trefynnon, hopelessly adrift at the foot of the table, have managed a gate of four figures this season.

My friend nipped out for his lunch at the local canteen while I looked after His Nibs. He whined for his master, but he soon stopped when his Auntie Cleaner came to fix my anaesthetic. She made a real fuss of him, which he enjoyed immensely.

When his master returned from dinner, my cleaner sorted my out arm and helped me pack. It was a beautiful afternoon too, so after she left, we all went outside to wait, the Hound of the Baskervilles hiding in the shade under a bush. He didn’t even want to lie in his favourite bus shelter in case any of his girlfriends from the local high school across the car park came past.

So we waited. And waited. And waited. Yes, people, this is when the whole day went off the rails.

Having been used this last few weeks when Mrs Dinosaur was here to be picked up twenty minutes early, today was the day when we all caught up and the taxi was half an hour late. The church clock in the walled town was striking 13:30 when she hove into view. It’s not anything that I ever complain about, though. Being terminally ill, I have a service that drives me to my medical appointments … "of which there are thousands" – ed … anywhere in the country and it’s free. I wouldn’t have service like this in any other country in the World.

So we shot off as if the Fear of God was upon us for … ohhh … all of a mile and a half before we came up behind a tractor with a full load of straw on it travelling at 25 kph if it was lucky.

We followed it for a couple of miles, and all the time, I was thinking “why is she going this way?”.

The tractor turned off eventually, and so my driver put her foot down, to run almost immediately to a road barricade.

"Ohh God, yes! They’ve closed the main road for roadworks!" she exclaimed. Well, I know they have, and it will be closed until at least the 31st of December too, which was why I was puzzled.

We ourselves had to take a quick diversion and in the end drove down the road to Champeaux and cut across to the main Avranches road a little further down. Despite all of the setbacks along the way, this was pretty good going. And as I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … since I’ve been travelling with this company, I’m seeing parts of Normandy that I never knew existed.

It was 14:08 when we pulled up at the dialysis clinic – the old non-air-conditioned one – in this stifling heat. All of the nursing auxiliaries had gone off to lunch, so I had to stagger halfway around the building before I found the bed list. I was in bed n°12 today, the farthest single room in the farthest ward away from the front door. They couldn’t make me walk any farther if they tried.

After having to sort myself out on my own as best as I could, the nurses eventually came to plug me in, and it was 14:40 by the time that I was up and running. There wasn’t much to extract today, so I persuaded the nurse to wind it up by 300 grammes to give me a head start on Thursday.

And now, finally, I could now sit back and enjoy a couple of football matches.

At least, so I thought. First of all, the nurses came to do a check on my implant to make sure that it was functioning properly. But this was the day when the machine decided not to function properly, and I had three or four nurses around my bed trying to fix it – not that I was complaining, though.

When it was finally up and running, the test took about fifteen minutes, so there was a good half an hour of my day gone, just like that!

Then the doctor (not Emilie the Cute Consultant, unfortunately) came to see me. They were going to try something at the hôpital de jour – the “day clinic” – a series of drips, to see if it might work. Well, I’m game for trying almost anything, but I know how this will end, because I’ve been through this before, four or five years ago. It didn’t work then, so I bet it won’t work now, but if they think that it might, who am I to argue?

But I’m glad I saw the doctor because when Emilie the Cute Consultant told me on Saturday that my immune system had broken down, it rang a very vague bell in the back of my mind, so over the last day or two I’d been searching through my papers.

And sure enough, there it was. A vaccination card given to me in January 2016 when I’d had my spleen taken out. I remembered them saying that I’d require three vaccinations every five years for the rest of my life, and there were the 2016 injection stamps and the 2021 injection stamps, but nothing for 2026. It looks as if I had forgotten to have the injections in January.

She took the card, looked at it and said that she’d write a prescription, and when I have the injections, bring them down to dialysis and they would do them.

Once she left, I could watch the football, and the first game was Rhydaman v Cearnarfon. It was, unfortunately, men against boys, this match. Rhydaman never ever looked like doing anything at all, and I don’t believe that they put one single sooty foot inside Caernarfon’s penalty area during the entire match.

Some of their players played with guts and spirit, but you need much more than that in a match like this, and a 0-5 result in favour of the Cofis was not an exaggeration.

The next game was the rest of Colwyn Bay v Connah’s Quay Nomads. This turned out to be another candidate for one of the best football matches that I had ever seen and was another credit to the league. Both teams, intent on victory, went at each other right from the start.

They were still at it right at the end too, and the fans certainly had their money’s worth as the Seagulls clawed their way back from 1-0 down to beat the Nomads 2-1, with Jordan Davies scoring one of the best goals that I’d seen for a while too.

There was even time for part of a third match too – Trefelin v Penybont – but I ran out of time and began to pack away my things when the five-minute warning went off on my machine.

At that point, all hell let loose in the main room. One of the elderly patients had fallen into a coma, and all of the nurses in the building, and the doctor, crowded around to try to revive him.

What annoyed me about this, and I don’t want anyone to think that I am heartless at all, was that one of the nurses ran round and switched off everyone’s machines. I’d have been happy for mine to have gone on for another hour and given me an even better start for Thursday.

And it was indeed another hour, and more besides, until they were able to revive this guy and have him transferred across the road to hospital. And then they could sort the rest of us out.

It was my luck, wasn’t it, to have the nurse who goes around apologising for everything, rather like the maid in A ROCKET FULL OF PYE and it becomes overwhelming after five minutes.

Incidentally, throughout these pages, you’ll see links to Amazon products appearing every now and again. Being a Sales Associate of Amazon, I receive a small commission on goods sold via my links. It costs you nothing at all extra, but helps defray … "part of the" – ed … cost of my not-insubstantial web-hosting fees.

There are also links for AMAZON UK, AMAZON USA and, since the recent “troubles”, AMAZON CANADA for the use of my numerous Canadian visitors. As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … I am extremely grateful when someone uses them to make a purchase

Eventually they let me out to find that my poor chauffeur and another passenger had been sitting there for over an hour waiting for me. And it was still scorching hot out there too. I finally made it home for 19:25, and my comité d’acceuil – my welcoming committee – had long since, as Longfellow expressed it, "folded their tents, like the Arabs, and as silently steal away.". The taxi driver had to help me into the apartment.

My friend had been cooking, and I had a lovely mashed potato and broccoli bake, followed by fruit cocktail and the last of this batch of sorbet. That means that next time, I can attack my vegan ice cream from Noz with gusto, or with anyone else who happens to be around.

When I’d done the washing up, I came back in here to write up my notes, but I managed to do about a dozen or so lines until I fell asleep. When I awoke a little later, I just crawled into bed and that was that. My notes can wait until tomorrow.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about four-figure crowds at Welsh football … "well, one of us has" – ed … I remember speaking to the FAW’s competitions secretary about the first four-figure crowd – at Cwmbran Town v Inter-Cardiff.

"What was it, exactly?" I asked him.
"Three men and one sheep" he replied.

LIVE: Saturday 12th September 2026 – EVEN AS I …

… type the first few words of the notes for today, it’s 04:01 on a Sunday morning. So whatever is going on?

The answer is that although my health has been bad for quite a while, I’ve hit rock bottom, and it looks like it’s just a matter of time now.

Things were, for once, looking quite good on Saturday morning. It’s true that I’d awoken quite early, but on and off I managed to doze a little until the alarm went off at 06:29.

As usual, it took the usual ten minutes or so to rise to my feet, and then once at my desk, I began to dash off the rest of the notes from yesterday. I’d almost finished too when I could smell the smell of fresh coffee, so I abandoned work for pleasure and went into the dining area.

Whatever the secret is of the coffee that my friend makes, I wish that he’d pass it on to me because it really is delicious, and it’s just the same coffee that I use. But anyway, we sat and drank and chatted for a while until Isabelle the Nurse arrived.

As soon as she rang the doorbell, the Hound of the Baskervilles leapt to the door with his tail going thirteen to the dozen, and we wouldn’t let her in until she’d made a big fuss of him. As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … he has far more luck with the women than I ever had.

She was also obliged to give him a belly rub before leaving, and once she’d gone, he dragged his master off on walkies and I made my breakfast.

Still no computer cable, of course, so I couldn’t read my book this morning, so I was soon finished, so I went into the bathroom for a good wash and scrub up, and even a shave in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant this afternoon.

Back in here, there were things to do, such as to finish off the notes and put them on line, and then, after that, would you believe that I fell asleep?

It was 11:15 when I awoke, and then I set about catching up with a few other things before it was time to prepare for dialysis.

My faithful cleaner arrived to apply my anaesthetic, and, once more, the Hound of the Baskervilles levied his taxe d’entrée and taxe de sortie.

The taxi was a couple of minutes early, and it was also my favourite driver, so I was at Avranches in double-quick time. They gave me my charging cable and stuck me into a separate room, but I had to wait to be plugged in. It was 14:15 when I was actually en route, and I settled down to watch Y Fflint v Cardiff Metropolitan.

These two teams play a very similar style of football, which is exciting, end-to-end play, constant counter-attacking and the like, and this game was no different. I enjoyed it tremendously. The game finished 1-1, and that was also the score in the sendings-off. But as I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … I just don’t understand how it is that Y Fflint are so low down the table. They are much better than that.

During the dialysis, I was left pretty much alone except for the half-hourly dash to switch off the blood pressure alarm.

However, right at the end, along came Emilie the Cute Consultant bearing gifts. They’ve finally decided to put me back on the heavy antibiotics, so she’s written a prescription.

She also brought me some devastating news. The recent blood test has shown them that my immunity system has finally disappeared, and I now no longer have any protection against any kind of bug that’s floating around. I must now consider myself a priority for the Covid and flu injections.

But worse than that, there are moves afoot that will change my life considerably. There is talk (and it’s only talk right now) that I might be moved to a hospital. No-one knows when, where, for how long or even if. But I have to keep alert “just in case”. They think that I need much more haematology care than I can have around here.

So six months of a hospital diet – I really don’t know if I can cope. And I hope that there won’t be any mice in the hospital as THERE ARE IN THE ONE IN PARIS.

It was my favourite taxi driver who brought me home again, so I was a lucky boy today. My cleaner was waiting for me and then she escorted me into the apartment where a meal of mashed potato and peas was awaiting me – I’d told my friend that I wouldn’t be wanting much this evening.

Once I’d washed up, I came in here to watch Colwyn Bay v Connah’s Quay, but I managed sixteen minutes of it before I was in bed, fully clothed and asleep. And bed is where I’m going right now to sleep, perchance to dream, until Isabelle the Nurse arrives.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about infections … "well, one of us has" – ed … two builders on a building site in Crewe were discussing things connected to their work.
"What’s a cubic foot?" asks one.
"No idea" replied the other "but claim for it anyway."

LIVE: Friday 11th September 2026 – GUESS WHO …

… has forgotten to bring home from dialysis the charging cable for his laptop? That has knackered a good part of my day, that has, and no mistake.

There I was today, ready to plug my computer in so that I could read a book at breakfast, and there was my cable lead – Gone! And never called me “mother”. What kind of fool did I feel? What with phantom alarms, thinking that a ‘phone alert’ was a doorbell, and now, forgetting my charging cable, things are not going very well for me at the moment, are they?

Just like last night too. I ended up going to bed much later than I would have liked, and then I awoke at all of 03:42 (because I checked). Nevertheless, the period between then and the alarm at 06:29 seemed to pass so rapidly that I must have fallen asleep again.

For a change, I was quick out of bed and sitting on the edge, dressing myself. That’s not likely to happen too often, is it? And then, as I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … sitting on the edge of the bed is one thing, actually standing up and moving is something else completely.

Eventually, though, I was sitting on my chair at my desk with the big computer running. Firstly, there was nothing on the dictaphone so I could leave that alone for the moment, and instead, I caught up with a few other important and outstanding things.

Round about 07:30, I could hear movement next door and began to smell the beautiful smell of coffee. That was the cue to move into the dining area where my friend was making coffee. I poured out a couple of mugs, and while we were drinking, we were chatting about the news and about the stupidity and the gullibility of those people on the other side of the pond.

Look at it this way – there are (say) 400 million people in the USA, of which roughly 21% are under 18, meaning that 79%, or roughly 316 million, are eligible for this enormous Trump bribe that he’s offering to the electorate (“after the midterms”, just like all of his other promises).

That works out at $1,580,000,000,000, or a whopping 1.58 trillion dollars, if my maths is correct. Now which economy can support giving away that much money? Yet people are falling for it, hook, line and sinker. They must be out of their minds.

Isabelle the nurse breezed into the apartment as usual. The Hound of the Baskervilles didn’t bark or even disturb himself. However, his tail began to wag and he lifted up one of his front legs so that she could reach his tummy to give it a tickle – all without saying a word.

She sorted out my legs and feet and then gave the Hound of the Baskervilles another tickle-tummy before leaving.

Once she’d gone, the Hound of the Baskervilles dragged his master off on walkies and I made my breakfast. And on going to read some more of my book, this is when I made that terrible discovery. So I had to eat my porridge and toast and drink my orange juice without reading, and I’m not used to that.

Once I’d finished, I came back in here where I crashed out at my chair – and for quite a while too. I was definitely in no mood to do anything. That’s how I’ve been feeling since I awoke this morning.

An hour or so later, I began to wake up and I began to write another chapter of my little story, taking a break at some point for a disgusting drink and the midday medication.

This afternoon, my faithful cleaner came round to do her stuff, so we set her a task to prove that she was worthy, as they said in MONTY PYTHON.

We decided that we’d leave her in charge of the Hound of the Baskervilles and we’d go to Noz.

Noz is the cheap shop in town where they sell all kinds of damaged goods, fire-damaged stock, short-dated stock and bankruptcy stock. I used to like going in there every weekend because there would always be something on offer that would improve my lifestyle or, in the food range, improve my diet for a short time.

The shop today, though, was nothing like how it used to be. I hardly found anything at all, except some almond milk for when I start making ice cream again and some vegan sugar-free ice cream. That looks as if it’s going to be really good, and I can’t wait to try it. And it was nice to be out and about in the open air for a change instead of being cooped up in here. I just wish that I could be out and about more often. And if I could, I’d be piling up with vegan ice cream from Noz.

On the way back, my friend went to Leclerc for some fuel, and we could see first-hand the mess that they are making of the car park as they try to install an overhead car park over the existing open-air parking. Apparently, it’s all to do with putting a new gallery of shops in underneath once the overhead bit is done, and I wish them luck with that.

Back here, I was totally exhausted after walking around the shops and had to sit down for a while, but it was very cute to see the Hound of the Baskervilles soar right across the car park to meet his master when his Auntie Cleaner let him out of the building. When I was married and we had four cats, they used to treat my departure and arrival with absolute indifference.

Later on, we had a little visit from a couple of gentlemen from Tunisia about a project that I have on the back burner, but after a while, I was persuaded that this project ain’t ever going to work, so I shall have to think of a “Plan B”. It seems that I’m right up to my ears in plans that aren’t working out right now. It’s all due to being ill, of course, but had I not been ill, I wouldn’t be living here, so it wouldn’t have been a problem anyway.

For tea, my friend made himself a burger and chips. I had nothing because firstly, I wasn’t hungry, and secondly, I had other fish to fry.

Like the football, for example. Another basement clash tonight, this time between Cambrian United and Trefynnon.

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that Trefynnon are having a woeful start to the season. seven games played, one goal scored and just one point out of twenty-one. The team from the Rhondda are doing somewhat better with two wins and three draws from their seven.

Games like these are games that Trefynnon has to win if they are to haul themselves off the bottom, but gap in quality between these two teams, despite them being at the lower end of the table, is clearly evident.

Having said that, however, Trefynnon were in there fighting, and they didn’t give up. At 2-0 down, they continued to surge upfield whenever they had the chance, and eventually they pulled one back, but it was too little, too late.

Having seen the effort that some of their players put into the game, surely their luck must break through soon because, even though they are so far off the pace, they deserve something for their efforts.

When the match finished, I had a few things to do, and while doing them, I learnt something interesting.

In the past, the league was lucky if it had one four-figure crowd per season. I can realise seasons when there were none at all. So far this season, after eight rounds, we’ve had ten in the Premier League already and even a couple in the feeder leagues and in the cup. And with good reason too, because the quality of the football is far better than it ever was.

So right now, I’m off to bed. It’s gone 01:00 right now and I have to be up at 06:29 in the morning.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about Those guys from Tunisia … "well, one of us has" – ed … one of them said that when the Germans arrived in the country looking for Aryan ladies, his grandfather hid one in his cellar to keep her safe.
"That was nice of him" I said.
"But he didn’t do it for nothing, you know." he said, with a wink
"So why are you telling me?"
"Because I need your advice as to whether to persuade him to tell her that the Germans have gone."

LIVE: Thursday 10th September 2026 – ANOTHER FINE DAY …

… at dialysis, I don’t think. In actual fact, we were back in the bad old days of everything when I didn’t really feel like anything at all.

It really was quite late last night when I went to bed again, long after midnight. I don’t seem to be able to concentrate on anything right now, not even to stay awake. Once in bed, I was asleep quite quickly, which makes something of a change, and although there was much less than six hours left to sleep, I was still looking forward to a decent sleep for a change, seeing how absolutely whacked I was.

However, it wasn’t to be. Around 04:00 I awoke, and that was effectively that for the rest of the night. However, when the alarm went off, I didn’t know where I was … "so what’s new?" – ed … and I ended up pushing my pillow, the telephone and one of two other things out of the bed. It seems that I was lying transversally in the bed instead of longitudinally. It was only a miracle that I hadn’t fallen out myself.

Once I was sitting on the edge of the bed and dressing, I realised how awful I was feeling. I was freezing cold too, and that’s always a bad sign. But I made it over to the chair at the computer, and the first thing that I did was to listen to the dictaphone to find out. And I was surprised by just how far I had gone, even if it was only around Marcey-les-Grèves.

Last night, I was out with the taxi company with the guy who thinks he owns the show who was driving me. He told me that a couple of days ago that some car had missed the roundabouts at Ponts and had gone hurtling straight through the door of someone who was living there. A couple of drivers of the taxi company had seen it and they were absolutely horrified by the accident because there were at least two or three dead in different places around here. However, the taxi company couldn’t find the time for them to be off and recover. It seemed that one of the young drivers of the company had missed the turn. She’d got round but … fell asleep here …

This is the kind of accident that really is horrific when you see it, especially if the car crashes into a building and brings the wall down. However, I don’t think that the taxi company would refuse sick leave to someone who has witnessed a sight quite like that.

Then later on, I was out with him again, the same guy. We were talking about the road from Ponts up to the ring road. It was taking sometimes two days to come down there. I enquired as to why they wouldn’t go through Marcey-les-Grèves. He explained that that was closed because of the roadworks. So we went to have a look at the closed road and the roadworks, and we saw that nothing had actually taken place … fell asleep here …

Why am I falling asleep so often when I’m dictating my dreams? But the story of roads being closed while there is no work going on is nothing whatever new around here. It happens all the time.

So I was giving my instructions or advice to the driver about which ways to go and when to come, etc. I pointed out a road with a 30 kph speed limit and said that it might be possible to go down there from Marcey-les-Grèves to come out at Ponts without too much trouble. He thought that maybe they would if they could and if they knew about it. I told him that it was his job to make sure that they all knew about it and maybe he should take a run down there himself to make sure that it was all in good condition and possible to go past.

That’s a road down which I’ve been taken on several occasions when we’ve come into Marcey-les-Grèves and found the roundabout at the motorway ring road blocked. And it’s always worked quite well. But as he considers himself to be the boss, he should be the one doing the investigating and reporting.

Did I mention something about the girls who drove for the taxi company? I mentioned too that it was possible for people to be stuck in a rut and not want to enjoy the fruits of the captivity that they had made.

This is a meaningless dream, I suppose, although, just like me, who has had almost all of his pleasures curtailed, I have to make the best of what I have. There’s no point in crying about it.

There was also something about the taxi company having to move their operation at Marcey-les-Grèves because there were plans to extend the ring road. Everyone was dismayed because they thought that the company would have to close down, but I was sure that they would find somewhere else from where to operate. And as it happened, the company announced a few days later that they had taken over the Opel dealership in the town, presumably meaning that the taxis and ambulances would be operating from there.

There actually is a proposal to extend the ring road, but from what I’ve seen, it will pass about 400 yards from the taxi head office. But it’s always a fear, nevertheless, and the idea that the company might take over a car dealership is not necessarily a strange one. They seem to be in “acquisition mode” at the moment.

When I heard movement in the kitchen, I went to investigate, and there was indeed the sight of coffee being made. I dashed off for a ride on the porcelain horse and then went into the dining area for a lovely coffee and chat with my friend.

Isabelle the Nurse turned up as usual, and the Hound of the Baskervilles, who didn’t bark at all, offered her his paw and then allowed her to scratch his belly.

When she found the time, she came over to sort my legs and feet and then spent another five minutes saying goodbye to His Nibs.

That was the cue for both the Hound of the Baskervilles and me to have our breakfasts, although I had to make mine first, of course. The plan was that His Nibs was going to drag his master off for a walk afterwards, so I explained to them not to expect them to find me up when they come back. I’d put a fleece on earlier, but I was still freezing cold, uncomfortable and tired, so I was going back to bed for a bit.

And I did go back to bed too, fully clothed, even down to my slippers.

It was 11:15 when I awoke, so I went and did a few bits and pieces, and at 11:45, went off for a stroll on the parapet. Back in the kitchen later, my friend nipped off to the café at the back for lunch. I sorted out a disgusting drink and the midday medication and began to prepare my ruckack. When Auntie Cleaner came in, she made a fuss of the Hound of the Baskervilles and then began to deal with me. By the time that I was sorted out, my friend was back, and we waited for the taxi, and I made a fool of myself thinking that a sound effect on his ‘phone was the doorbell.

The driver who came to pick me up was the young, chatty girl who likes home-made pizza. We had a good chat all the way to the aqua-gym at St. Pair, and then the usual “Thursday lady” joined in all the way to Avranches.

They dropped me off first, and I went into one of the wards, a little two-bedded one at the back of another, where a new patient was being plugged in. When they weighed me, I was the lightest that I have been for a while after a pause of three days. I don’t know how.

Before they plugged me in, I gave them my “orange bottle” that I remembered to take. They weren’t impressed with the quantity and, to be honest, neither was I. I really do wish that I could have persuaded the Hound of the Baskervilles to make a donation.

After they left me, I put on the football – Hwlffordd v Connah’s Quay Nomads. But I just couldn’t keep going. I fell asleep I don’t know how many times, so at the end of the first half, I switched off the computer and went to sleep.

When I awoke, they unplugged me quite quickly, so I went to look for my chauffeur. He was already there, and I was the only passenger, so I was at home quite quickly too, where my faithful cleaner was sitting on her mushroom waiting for me.

She helped me into the apartment where my friend was waiting, and we had fried potatoes with veg and falafel, followed by fruit cocktail and ice cream. Then I came back in here to write my notes up for tonight.

But I don’t know what’s happened to my taste buds. I know that everything I eat these days tastes of salt, but that meal somehow tasted of pure salt, and that’s what I’m tasting right now. So I’ll take my medication and go to bed and hope for a good night, although the amount of coughing that I’m doing right now will stop anything from happening. It’s probably about the worst that it’s ever been.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about a contribution from the Hound of the Baskervilles … "well, one of us has" – ed … I was just picturing their faces at the laboratory had I done so.
I can imagine Emilie the Cute Consultant giving me the results later.
"Mr Hall, I have some bad news for you."
"Ohh no! What now?"
"As well as all of your other problems, you now seem to have rabies and distemper."

LIVE: Wednesday 9th September 2026 – THERE’S ONE THING …

… that I can tell you today, and that today has defied the usual progression of events just now.

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that whenever I’ve had a bad day, I’ve always had a better day the day after. Today, though, there really has been a change, but it’s not a change for the better. It’s a change for the worse.

It was quite late when I went to bed, after the football and finishing off the notes. But it doesn’t really matter because I never have the full amount of sleep anyway and sometimes, it’s pot luck whether I have any at all.

But this morning, when the alarm went off at 06:29 as usual, I was already awake and doing my “in-bed yoga”. I was convinced that I’d heard the alarm go off a little earlier. It was probably another one of these phantom alarms that I hear every now and again.

However, as I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … being awake is one thing. Being up and about is something else. I reckon that it must have taken me ten minutes or more to slide across from my bed to the seat at the computer.

It beats me why I was in such a rush to come here because there was nothing on the dictaphone to transcribe or anything else that needed doing as a matter of urgency, So I took the overnight stats as I usually do, and then I curled up on the chair to have a quiet sleep for a while. As I said a little earlier, things were pretty bad here this morning from my point of view.

When I heard the crockery and cutlery being moved around, I guessed that there might be some coffee available in due course. I quickly nipped into the bathroom for a ride on the porcelain horse, not forgetting that I had to use the “orange container” all day today and tomorrow morning on waking up.

The dialysis people want to know my output, and for some reason, they don’t trust me (or anyone else, for that matter) to tell them the honest truth, so we have to take it and its contents with us next time we go.

The coffee that my friend makes is excellent. I don’t know what his secret is but as long as he can make coffee like this, he can stay for as long as he wants. I really enjoyed this morning’s mug and, as we drank our coffee, we chatted about a lot of things, none of which were important.

When Isabelle the Nurse rang the doorbell to announce her arrival, the Hound of the Baskervilles barked with excitement and dashed to the door, almost knocking her over in his enthusiasm. He wouldn’t let her pass to see to me without her making a big fuss of him.

She soon sorted out my legs and feet, and then His Nibs demanded another couple of minutes of cuddles before she was allowed to leave.

Once she’d finally managed to leave the premises, the Hound of the Baskervilles began to drag his master off for walkies and I began to make my breakfast – porridge, toast and orange juice were on the menu today, and how I would have fancied a second mug of coffee too, but that is Streng Verboten these days.

While I was eating, I was reading some of THE REPORT OF THE WOOLHOPE NATURALISTS CLUB 1870.

Right now, I can tell you all about the propagation of mistletoe because one of the participants on one of their excursions had noticed something at one time, and that had led him off on a quest of exploration. When we encountered a similar situation, he gave us all a lecture on what he had observed and learnt from that particular mistletoe and the many others that he saw.

Back in here, there were a few things to do but I crashed out in the middle of it all, and it wasn’t until about 12:40 that I awoke. I must have been out of it for hours. I went into the kitchen and found one of these high-energy drinks, but by the time that I’d finished it, I was no better. But I like these drinks because they are the only ones that come with added vitamins, such as Vitamin B12.

Once I was back in the Land of the Living, I had a little job given to me. My friend wanted to go to the restaurant in the Foyer des Jeunes Travailleurs for a meal for lunch, so would I babysit the Hound of the Baskervilles?

“It’s more likely that he’ll be babysitting me” I replied, but I agreed to do it.

After his master left, we began to have a series of those little pathetic whines as he wanted his daddy back, but he soon went quiet when his Auntie Cleaner came to drop off the next instalment of disgusting drinks. She made a great big fuss of him and that was all it needed.

When Auntie Cleaner made ready to leave, I began to wonder if we’d be having the little whines again. But as luck would have it, she collided with His Nibs’ master coming home. So the emergency is sorted out.

That meant that I could carry on with what I was doing, but round about 13:15, we stopped for my disgusting drink and midday medication, and I was good and ready for it – except for the disgusting anti-potassium powder. I managed to swallow that down without too much exclamation.

My friend has started to write another novel today. He has three on the run right now, several completed stories awaiting whatever he was holding them back, some stories already published and plenty of ideas for new stories.

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that I’ve also had a few ideas for stories, and so, with the encouragement of my friend, I made a start on one of them. By the time that I’d knocked off, I’d written two chapters, and my captive audience, namely, my faithful chatbot, liked what he had read. He made a couple of minor suggestions, and he had also spotted a couple of spelling mistakes, or more likely, typos, and I corrected those too.

Once again, I didn’t fancy any food tonight. My friend had sausage, bread and cheese while I just had an orange, a peach and a plum, and I felt much more like it afterwards, for all of five minutes before I crashed out again.

Once I awoke a few minutes later, I managed to struggle on to the end of the notes, late as it may be, and now I’m off to bed. However, this plastic bottle that I’m required to use is looking particularly empty and I’m sure that they aren’t going to like it.

Anyone of my age reading this who knows the film ALICE’S RESTAURANT will remember how Arlo Guthrie solved the problem at his army medical. I’m thinking of going down the same road but making use of the Hound of the Baskervilles. That will thoroughly confuse them at the medical laboratory.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about writing novels … "well, one of us has" – ed … somebody once asked me "how many novel writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
"No idea" I replied.
"Two" replied my friend.
"Why?" I asked
"One to screw it up almost all the way, and the other one to give it a surprising twist at the end."

EPIC HALL

The Poisoned Pen (or Poisoned Chalice, more like) – or my relentless struggle against reality