Category Archives: leuven

Wednesday 3rd August 2016 – AFTER MANY VICISSITUDES …

… I’ve finally made it back to my little room, and how nice it is to be here again.

Krystof, the male nurse, came to see me at about 09:30 to confirm that I was on my way, but I had to have a perfusion of something to take the water off my legs. “It won’t take long”, he said.

He was right, too. After about 15 minutes, it was all done. “You just have to wait for the doctor now” he told me.

The doctor turned up at about 11:00. The blood’s okay, the infection is under control, the kidney details have been passed to the specialist, and there are no side-effects. No reason me for me to stay, so they would do the paperwork and then I can go.

And so I waited.

And waited.

By 18:00 i’d given up. I imagined that they had either forgotten me or changed their minds, especially as I saw her a-wandering up and down the corridor a couple of times. But at 18:45, just as I was starting to settle down for the evening, they arrived with all of the paperwork.

They had a couple of prescriptions for me, including an injection that I need to buy and bring with me for my next appointment, which is on Thursday 11th August. There’s also a letter that I need to give to my doctor in Pionsat – if I can remember where Pionsat is these days.

But then I was off. Up to the car park to check over Caliburn and give him a good run around the car park to warm him up and keep the rust off the discs, and then a pleasant walk back here in the cool evening breeze. It was pouring down earlier but it stopped for my walk home, and started again just after I arrived here. For once, the Gods were on my side.

I was pretty well loaded up for the return journey so I ended up leaving most of the clean washing in Caliburn. I’ll bring it back down here after my next visit to the hospital.

So I’m hoping to have a better night’s sleep tonight. In fact, it wasn’t all that bad last night. I was asleep by 23:00 last night and awake at 04:00 and, more permanently, at 06:00. I did manage to drop off again but the 07:30 clatter brought me back to earth.

And my room mate left today as well, so I could have had a decent sleep there too – maybe – but I do have to say that he was one of the quietest people whom I’ve shared a room with. No complaints there.

But it’s good to be back here, and I can go back into my old routine.

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Tuesday 2nd August 2016 – I’VE HAD …

… my mapthera this morning.

But never mind that for a moment – it’ll come as no surprise for you to learn that I had the usual night last night – awake and down the corridor every two hours or so, including disturbing my room-mate in the bathroom at 06:00.

But after that, I was stark out and the nurse had to jump through all kinds of hoops to wake me for a blood test at 08:40. It was quite a job for her. And then after that, I had breakfast.

The plan after breakfast was to crash out yet again, but it didn’t quite work out like that. Just as I was settling down, they came round with the initial perfusion and a pile of pills for an antidote or whatever they are for. Once I was hooked up to that lot, I tried to settle down a second time, but then the doctor came round for a chat.

She told me that the blood test had shown that I could take the mapthera (which I had already worked out for myself) but that I’d have to stay in until at least tomorrow while they check up for side-effects. And so I’m stuck in here for yet another day now and that’s really getting on my wick now. I want to go home.

But something that the doctor said has dismayed me more than just a little.

“It must be dreadful for you living in this hospital with an environment like you’re in and with none of your personal possessions around you”.
“It does rather, but it’s impractical for me to commute back and to to France as things stand” I replied
“So have you considered moving to Belgium?”

And so it looks as if they think that I’ll be here for quite a while needing regular attention and follow-ups. This is the worst news possible as far as I’m concerned. I really didn’t want to hear this.

They fetched me the wrong meal for lunch and tea today but I still managed to eat a healthy meal both times. But my appetite seems to be back as I’m starving right now and I’ve been nibbling away at all kinds of stuff that I’ve had stored here and my room-mate is starting to look quite appetising.

And so apart from crashing out for an hour this afternoon, I’ve not done anything very much. This mapthera takes it out of me a bit but I don’t seem to have any side effects right now except dying to go to the bathroom – but then they did give me something for that this morning to try to reduce the water on my legs.

But I do hope that I can leave here tomorrow. I’m fed up.

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Monday 1st August 2016 – AHH WELL!

Yes, here I am, still here in the hospital.

I had a blood test this morning and while the doctor couldn’t remember the red blood cells count, there’s too much infection in my blood to give me the Mapthera. So here I have to stay while the infection goes down and, according to the doctor, it could be any length of time.

I have a new doctor too, apparently. I don’t know what happened to Hermione – maybe I’ve frightened her away – but this one doesn’t seem quite as friendly. I could be wrong, of course, but time will tell.

There’s been plenty of other bad news too. Firstly, I have a new room-mate. I thought that being on my own was too good to last for any length of time. He seems to be quite quiet, which is good news. I hope that he doesn’t snore.

And I’ve also had the Police here too. Someone has reported Caliburn as being abandoned (which is of course far from the truth, but there you go). The Police made all sorts of enquiries and actually asking the hospital if there was a patient of my name in residence didn’t occur to them until their enquiries were almost complete(ly failed). Anyway, they turned up this afternoon, asked me a couple of questions, and then cleared off, rather red-faced.

But it seems that I will have to do something about finding a new home for Caliburn. That will have to be top of my priorities when I’m thrown out of here. Last thing that I wanted was any interaction with the Belgian farces of law and order. Regular readers of this rubbish will recall a few occasions over the years …

I had the usual messed-up night and I did go off for a nocturnal ramble, but don’t ask me where to now. It’s gone completely out of my head.

07:40 was when I saw the light of day, thoroughly exhausted but brought to life, such as it is these days, by the clatter in the corridor now that everyone has started work after the weekend. The blood test was before breakfast nad, apart from lunch, that was the highlight of the day. I’ve not done anything else – hardly in the mood.

Having to stay here is depressing me, though. I want to go home, or, at least, back to my little room. The people here are very nice and very friendly, but it’s not a patch on being chez soi. I hope that I don’t have to stay here too long.

But there is some good news. The nurse has just this minute come by for a chat, and it seems that my blood count is now a record 10.5. It’s never been this high before since I’ve been ill, and certainly not under its own steam, and that’s something to celebrate.

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Sunday 31st July 2016 – I HAVE DONE SOMETHING …

… totally and utterly decadent today.

That’s right – after breakfast, I went back to bed. And there I slept until they brought the lunch around and awoke me. It’s a long time since I’ve done anything quite like that, but ask me if I care.

Mind you, I had a different kind of night last night. What I mean by that is that I didn’t go to sleep for ages and ages. It was certainly long-after 01:30 because I was still awake then. And then I had a restless night as usual, up and down on several occasions.

I was on my travels too – back in France at a building that I had converted into apartments and one of the tenants was being difficult. Someone else there knew him and remembered him being difficult at the last place where he was living.

I struggled awake all on my own at about 07:40 without the help of the nurse, but I wasn’t awake for long. Just long enough to stuff my breakfast down my throat.

After lunch, I did absolutely … err … badger all, just talking to a couple of people on the internet. I did manage a trip to the shower at about 16:20 – a good wash and brush up and a change of undies did me the world of good and I’m now ready for anything, even a visit this evening from Alison who brought me a packet of rice crackers. That was really nice of her.

It’s a long time since I’ve had such a leisurely Sunday and I reckon that it did me the world of good. The only issue now is whether or not I can go back to sleep this evening or will I still be awake like last night, long after midnight.

But with a bit of luck, this will be my last night there, if I don’t have a bad reaction to the Mapthera tomorrow. I’m on my own yet again tonight, so I ought to make the most of it.

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Saturday 30th July 2016 – MORE OF THE SAME.

That’s the best way to describe last night. Almost exactly the same as every other night just recently – going to sleep quite late and being interrupted on regular occasions through the night. But at least I didn’t have to lie half-asleep listening to a room-mate snoring or talking to himself in his sleep. I enjoyed being on my own.

As usual, the best part of the sleep that I had was the bit between 06:00 and being awoken by the nurse at 07:40. I really was in a tremendously deep sleep just then and she had quite a task to wake me up.

And no surprise either. I’ve talked quite often about a girl whom I call “the one that got away” and she once more featured quite prominently in my little nocturnal ramble last night. And she didn’t get away last night – ohhh no, not ‘arf she didn’t! What was even more interesting is that I had to leave my bed to go to walk the parapet somewhere during the middle of this ramble, and when I returned to bed and went back to sleep, I found that I had stepped back right into the very position from where I had stepped out. This is something that’s happened to me quite a few times now – it’s not such a rare occurrence as you might think.

The irony of all of this is that after I had had breakfast, I switched on the laptop to find that I had been left a message by the afore-mentioned, and right almost at the time that she was appearing over here during the night. And it was something of a cry for help too. We ended up spending most of the morning having a lengthy chat. It seems that mine isn’t the only subconscious that’s pulling in the waves from 500 miles away. As you ought to know by now, I fully believe in the existence of the transmission and reception of human thought waves and over the years, I’ve had many interesting encounters and first-hand experiences with the phenomenon.

After lunch, I crashed out. And I was away with the fairies for a good couple of hours too. I did manage to awaken in time for tea, which I followed up with some of the strawberries that Alison had brought me the other day. And very delicious they were too.

So now, even though it’s early, I’m going to have an early night. I probably won’t be able to sleep very much but never mind – I can always catch up with my sleep during the day.

Yes, my life is rather upside-down right now, isn’t it?

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Friday 29th July 2016 – LAST NIGHT …

… was very much like the other nights just recently. Going to sleep fairly early and then waking up at regular intervals during the night. This is wearing me out and how I long for a really good sleep.

I did however fit in a little nocturnal ramble somewhere. I don’t remember too much about it except that it involved FC Pionsat St Hilaire, a shot at goal that hit the post and rebounded back into play and then the backspin on it that took it just over the bar and onto the roof of the net.

And I learnt something new about my room-mate – not only does he snore occasionally, he talks in his sleep too. But then I shan’t be troubled by any of that tonight because he left hospital this afternoon. I’m on my own tonight so I hope that I’ll be able to take advantage of it.

07:30 was when I awoke this morning, thoroughly exhausted, and it took me a good hour or so to come round. I had my breakfast much later than everyone else – apparently they wanted me to have a blood test this morning.

Hermione the doctor came to see me a little later on. The infection is going down now so they are going to keep me on the antibiotics until Monday. On Monday I can have yet another session of Mapthera and provided that there are no unpleasant side-effects, I can go back to my little room in town.

Talking of little rooms, the girl from Social Services came to see me a little later this morning. And she had quite a job because, as tired as I was, I was absolutely stark out. Well and truly crashed. She’s come up with another option of a place to stay. It’s further out from the centre where I want to be, but it seems to have private facilities (and kitchenette) and it’s slightly cheaper than where I am now. I shall follow that up in due course when I’m out of here.

I managed a good lunch, except for the diced swedes that were in a cheesy milk sauce and the soup which tasted of nothing but salt. I seem to be eating a little better now, which is good news.

This afternoon I had a chat with Liz and with Rosemary on the internet. Rosemary has invited me to England for a few days which is really nice of her. But I’ll need to be in good shape if I go. I don’t want to take a pile of microbes and viruses with me.

Later on after tea I crashed out again, only to be awoken by a nurse who wanted to take my temperature. This is what usually happens when I make myself comfortable – someone always comes along to spoil it. And I had a couple of attacks of nausea this evening. I don’t know why that was.

And so I’m on my own tonight. No room mate to distract me, keep me awake or to awaken me after I’ve dropped off. What this means in real terms is that there will be half a dozen nurses coming along to awaken me instead.

That’s what usually happens, isn’t it?

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Thursday 28th July 2016 – WHAT A DEPRESSING …

… night that was. I can’t remember now how many times I had to leave the comfort and safety of my stinking pit to go off down the corridor, but it was certainly more than three or four. It’s that kind of thing that’s making me feel so fed up right now, as well as the perpetual coughing and the streaming cold.

Mind you, I did find the time to go on a nocturnal ramble. Firstly, I remember seeing a young black girl walking along the street and we ended up having quite a chat about something although I can’t remember what it was now. From here I went off to my hotel room, which actually had two beds, and the second bed was now occupied by some guy from Eastern Europe. The rooms were small and poorly-furnished but the sheets and the quilt were white. There was one shelf, which was over my bed, to put suitcases and this other guy was going through some weird acrobatics in order to put his suitcase up there – standing on the windowsill, on the foot of the bed, anything except putting his foot on the bedding. I then had to go off to the bathroom but there was quite a queue and I was in something of a rush, so I was very glad when it came to my turn. When the person before me came out, I made some kind of light-hearted comment about having to wait, and of course it was totally misunderstood, as you might expect. As for the bathroom itself, the only word that comes to my mind was “disgusting”. It really was quite poor and I was dismayed by that.

It’s not the only thing that I’m dismayed about right now either. I had a lengthy chat with Hermione this morning. The good news is that there’s no problem with the lymph nodes in my stomach, according to the scan, but there is still plenty of infection in my lungs. And not only that, the treatment that I was told initially would be over by mid-September is the chemotherapy treatment that is too violent for me and which they stopped. This new treatment has quite a different time-scale and they can’t say for how long it will go on.

Not only that, I’m going to have to be followed up by the hospital for the rest of my life. I did ask what she meant by this – did she mean once every six months (which I could cope with without too many problems) or did she mean once per week, which would be devastating for me – but she couldn’t give me an answer to that until she sees how the treatment progresses.

But anyway, it looks as if my idyllic life in my rural retreat is rapidly coming to an end and you have absolutely no idea just how gutted I am about that. I can see my regular voyages to Canada coming to an end too and that will be just about the end.

The hospital seems to be taking it quite seriously too because after lunch I had a visit from the hospital psychiatrist. She wanted to have a good chat to me about my future and unfortunately I wasn’t able to say very much. Without knowing what the hospital has in store for me for the future, I can’t make any plans at all, as I explained to her. We ended up having a desultory kind of chat about not very much, which was finished when she said “well, see you next week”. That sounded rather ominous to me – I’m hoping to be out of here in a day or two.

But it’s not all doom and gloom, no matter what it might sound like. I managed to eat a good lunch and they were so impressed by that that they have taken me off the intravenous drip. Now, I’m not connected to anything at all which is good news for me.

Furthermore, Alison came to see me for a chat. She brought me a couple of packets of vegan crisps and a bag-full of clothes. She had taken the time to do my dirty washing for me, something that I found really nice of her and which I appreciated a great deal. I may not have many friends, but of the ones that I have are the best in the world.

So that’s enough of this rubbish. I’m going to knock off and spend the rest of the evening worrying about my future – if I have one, that is. I really am dismayed by the news today.

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Wednesday 27th July 2016 – WELL, I HAD …

… a pretty miserable night last night. Not as bad as some, I must admit, but I was still awake at 02:00, again at 04:00 and yet again at 06:00. And from there I dozed off into a beautiful, deep and comfortable sleep only to be awoken by the nursing staff at about 07:30. That was just so depressing

After breakfast, Doctor Hermione came to see me. The blood test that I had this morning shows that my blood count has gone down again. Not by a great deal apparently, but I really did think that I was starting to leave all of these problems behind me.

On top of that, the proteins are off again and my urine is jam-packed with them. No wonder my legs have started swelling again. It seems that they are starting to become concerned about this and they will in early course be involving the kidney department.

The infection that I have seems to be going down slowly although you wouldn’t think so given how I’m coughing and how my head is streaming.

All in all, the news is not so good and I’m becoming rather depressed by all of this. It’s not working out at all how I was hoping that it might.

To cheer myself up, I had a shower this morning. That made me feel a little (but not much) better. And then I went for my hour out of my room to the CAT scan, having been pumped up with about a litre of some kind of disgusting drink that is a “contrast” fluid to highlight what’s going on inside me for the benefit of the people interpreting the photos. They had a “Toshiba” scanner and I asked the man in charge. He told me that it was rubbish and they had only bought it on the insistence of a doctor there. If he had anything to do with anything, he would dump it and buy a Siemens – the hospital is big on Siemens stuff. We talked about the equipment of General Electric, one of my former employers, and he agreed that they were pretty good too.

One thing of note is that I explained that I didn’t speak Flemish too well. He replied “no problem” and pressed a switch on the dashboard that changed the automatic instructions to English. Could you imagine that in an British hospital – changing the default language to a foreign language to suit the patient. Britain First and the rest of its racist mates would have apoplexy, but it just goes to show how insular and narrow-minded most British people are.

So having had a nice little hour or so out, and a good chat, I came back here for lunch. And to my surprise, I managed to eat a good lunch too. Rice with string beans, spinach and leeks. First time that I’ve had a decent hot meal for well over a week.

This afternoon, I crashed out good and proper which is no surprise. What was a surprise is how hard the girl from Social Services found it to awaken me. It seems that Hermione the Doctor has been asking her about my living arrangements and so she came to interrogate me. I know that they are far from ideal but I really don’t have too many other options. I’m as dissatisfied as anyone else about them.

It’s still quite early at the moment but I don’t care. The bad night last night hasn’t done me much good at all and so I’m going to try to have an early night. I bet that I’ll drop off into a beautiful, deep sleep only to be awoken by some nurse wanting to take my temperature or something.

That’s not as bad as what happened to me when I was in hospital in 2003, where a nurse awoke me to make me take my sleeping pill.

I’m still trying to work that one out.

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Tuesday 26th July 2016 – “OHHH MR HALL!”

“It’s so difficult to treat you. First it’s one thing, and then it’s something else!”.

Inspiring words from Hermione the Doctor this morning when she came to see me. And it’s no surprise because after being in here something like half a day, my feet and legs have swollen up again. We had a very lengthy chat about how I was feeling and I told her everything that I thought she might like to know. The result of this is that I’m going to be in here for a bit, I reckon, while they try to work out what to do next.

“Next” is definitely a CAT scan. That’s organised for tomorrow apparently, and they are going to give my chest and lungs a right going-over. But as I have said before, this kind of thing is just a peripheral issue. Mind you, with my blood count having stabilised over the last 5 or 6 weeks, I suppose that there are grounds for cautious optimism.

I eventually drifted off to a real sleep at about 02:00 this morning. There were no church bells, no alarms, no nothing at all and so consequently I awoke at 07:00 precisely. Dunno if I went anywhere but if I did I certainly remember nothing about it.

I managed some breakfast too. I didn’t enjoy it all that much but I do have to eat whenever I can. This intravenous drip stuff is not the answer to everything. And later on, after Hermione had been and gone, the dietician put in an appearance and we had a good chat again about my diet.

Lunch was disgusting. Well, I suppose that it wasn’t but I was in no mood for it. The vegetable soup tasted of nothing but salt and I couldn’t even stomach the thought of the mashed potatoes and chili beans. That was a washout.

After lunch, I crashed out a couple of times – once while I was riding the porcelain horse and the second time lying on the bed, when I promptly fell off.

There was a nice surprise this afternoon. Alison was here in the hospital, and she came for a chat when she had finished whatever she was doing. And here we conjured up a cunning plan. Alison volunteered to go down into town and my little room to bring me a pile of stuff that I might need if I’m staying for a while.

Alison didn’t just bring me my stuff, she also came with a packet of soya dessert and a supply of fruit. Consequently, as you might expect, for my tea tonight the hospital supplied me with soya dessert and fruit salad.

The nurse took my temperature on several occasions during the day and that slowly went down with the passage of time. We started off with 37.7°C and by evening it was 36.9°C.

I’m now going to have an early night if I can. My room-mate likes his television (so Alison fetched the headphones for my laptop) and while he’s not the worst room-mate that I’ve had from a snoring point of view, he’s not the best either. But then I can’t expect too much.

But it was really nice of Alison to fetch my stuff for me. I appreciated that very much.

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Monday 25th July 2016 – IT REALLY COMES TO SOMETHING …

… when you arrive at the hospital day centre and the nurse takes one look at you and says, in a horrified tone, “But Mr Hall – you look dreadful”. But that really is an understatement of just how I’m feeling at the moment.

I didn’t sleep too badly last night, I have to admit, and round about midnight I was feeling reasonably lucid which makes a change from how I was feeling when I went to bed after my pizza. I was soon back asleep again though, with one or two of the usual interruptions. I’d been on quite a few vivid voyages too, but the only one that I can remember concerns two extended-cab pickups. One was red, rather like a Ford Cortina estate but a pick-up, and the other one was a real pickup coloured a sort-of light lime green and with a black interior. Although I had arrived at this spot in the red one, I found myself spread out on the rear seats of the yellow one, half-asleep, with someone whom I didn’t recognise at all in the front.

The alarm went off at 07:15 but there was no way that I was going to leave my bed at that time of morning. In fact I went back to sleep again and awoke at 07:30 when the second one went off. I crawled upstairs to the kitchen and made myself a small breakfast as I’m still not all that hungry, and then off for a shower. If I’m going to have nurses poking and probing me, they would expect me to be clean and tidy.

For the next half hour we played “hunt the keys” for Caliburn. I didn’t find them but by this time it was far too late to do anything about it. I staggered off for the bus (remembering on the way to the bus stop that my keys are in my sac banane) and off to the hospital.

While the nurse took my blood sample I poured out my woes to her and repeated the story to the doctor. Not Hermione though – the one who replaces her when she’s not there. The Social Services girl came to see me and I told her everything too.

The doctor came back to see me a little later. The good news is that my blood count is still 10.0. It’s not gone up any for the last four weeks, but it’s also not gone down any and considering how ill I’m feeling, that’s really quite remarkable. It’s also quite remarkable that I haven’t had a blood transfusion for … ohhhh … weeks and weeks.

The bad news is that I have a raging chest infection. They packed me off for an x-ray (I’ve not had the results back yet) and then they reached a decision – that they are going to keep me in hospital for “a few days” so that they can give me some liquid food, some steroids and some medication for the infection.

So here I am, up on a ward,with a raging temperature of 39.5°C, sweating everywhere, and hopefully going to be cured – at least of this infection. But as it has been said so often, I’m at risk from all kinds of illnesses now that my my spleen has been removed, and while the lymphoma probably won’t kill me, I could be wiped out by something that I catch and won’t be able to fight off.

I hope that my room-mate here doesn’t snore. But he has enough to put up with with me coughing.

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Sunday 24th July 2016 – BLASTED CHURCH BELLS!

Yes, there I was, or rather, there I wasn’t. I was miles away, deep in the arms of Morpheus, when we had the 07:00 cacophony. On a flaming Sunday too, in a church that hasn’t been used for worship since 1968.

I was absolutely drenched in sweat too, rather like the Bohemian monk of the old story, and I’d been so far away on my travels that maybe it was a good idea that the church bells had rung because I couldn’t see how I would have been able to come back. I’d started off with the famous victory of Morton yesterday over Kilmarnock. Having released over half a team and signed no-one to replace them, they were playing away, with a team packed full of youth players, against a team from the Scottish Premier League and to everyone’s surprise, won 2-0 and at something of a canter too apparently. Of course, the after-match celebrations played a big part in whatever was going on through the night, and from there I went for a walk up the hill near to wherever I was living to look at the old fortifications and industrial buildings that were there.My route then took me into the village at the top of the hill where they were advertising the village fête. I had a wander around the village, looking for a couple of girls whom I knew because I was hoping to organise some kind of vehicle rally. However I couldn’t find these girls – it looked as if they were otherwise engaged and I was going to end up doing all of the work myself.

But despite the early start, I was in no hurry to leave my stinking pit. Breakfast these days isn’t until 10:00 and so I just lay vegetating in bed for quite a while, relaxing. So much so in fact that I ended up being … errr … rather later than 10:00 when I went for breakfast and so in order to avoid any complication, I fetched my breakfast down here and ate it in my room.

But I’ve had another miserable day. Coughing and spluttering all day, with a streaming head cold that just won’t subside and I’m feeling like death. So much so that by 17:00 I was back in bed crashing out. I just didn’t know what else to do.

Later on, I managed to stagger out for a pizza. Not that I was particularly hungry and I didn’t enjoy it either but I had a feeling that if I didn’t make it out tonight and eat something, I wouldn’t make it out of the door tomorrow and of course it’s hospital day tomorrow.

So now, even though it’s early, I’m going back to bed where I intend to sleep for ever and I don’t care at all even if I do.

I am just thoroughly fed up, thoroughly washed out, and thoroughly depressed. Apart from recovering from my operation at the end of January I don’t think that I’ve ever felt so bad as this.

I just want to die.

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Saturday 23rd July 2016 – IT WAS AFTER …

… well after 02:00 in fact before I finally went to bed. And I don’t recall having left my stinking pit for a ride on the porcelain horse at any point during the night either – sleeping right through until about 07:40.

I had even managed to fit a little nocturnal ramble into the night’s agenda. I was driving a coach somewhere but that really is all that I can remember about it.

But in my new “weak and feeble” mode, I was in no rush to leave my stinking pit once I was awake and so I stayed here relaxing and chatting to Liz on the internet until about 10:00. Then it was breakfast time, and I took it easy (in fact it took me an hour to eat it) so as a result I didn’t feel too bad.

All of the foregoing might make you think that I’m feeling a little better and that is indeed the truth. Not very much, I must admit, but better all the same, and I could concentrate on doing some more updating on the blog. That’s been in abeyance for a week or so while I’ve been trying to get my head together.

In fact I was feeling so much better that later in the afternoon I went out to the supermarket on the corner and bought a baguette. Not only that, I managed to eat most of a vegan cheese and tomato butty for tea, and that’s certainly progress.

So now it’s 22:45 and I’m not really tired. Sitting on the edge of the bed ready to sleep I might be, but I can’t see me dropping off any time soon. I still have the runny nose and the heavy cough and the stomach upset and I would be extremely delighted if all of that were to go away, but I suppose that it’s just the start of the long road back, with a few other setbacks to come along the way.

I suppose that I can’t expect too much.

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Friday 22nd July 2016 – HAVING HAD THAT GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP …

… the other night, I paid for it last night, that’s for sure.

I was lying there all through the night and I remember every minute of it. It was the most uncomfortable night that I’ve had for quite a while. And when I finally stepped out of bed and had a good look in the mirror, I looked about 90 (instead of my usual 85). What a horrible sight.

Mind you, I must have dropped off at some point during the night because I was up on the Arctic Highway along the Mackenzie River in northern Canada, driving a top-of-the-range 4×4 vehicle heading north, with the odd car or two coming back the other way. But I wasn’t alone for there was a woman and her young daughter aged about 8 or 9 with me. The daughter was wearing a black shell suit with twin white stripes and a petrol blue tee-shirt. She had to change her tee shirt to a pink one and couldn’t manage to do it and so I had to help her, even though I was driving this expensive vehicle along some of these dreadful mud-and-gravel roads.

I had a late breakfast, and that was really the highlight of my day. I didn’t set foot for a minute outside the door of the building. In fact, as the afternoon wore on I started to feel worse and worse and this wasn’t helped by learning that someone whom I vaguely know and who is suffering from lymphoma died yesterday, quite suddenly, of unforeseen complications and another friend of mine lost his wife quite suddenly and unexpectedly. It’s as if the Hand of Death is slowly enveloping me and it’s a very uncomfortable feeling.

I was in bed by 17:00 and although I couldn’t really sleep it’s still the best way to deal with my issues right now and I’m glad that I’m in my own room where I can stay like this in a semi-vegetative state.

At midnight exactly we had the most astonishing thunderstorm followed by a torrential downpour. That woke me up and I couldn’t go back to sleep afterwards. For a good couple of hours I was wide awake and feeling a little better – to such an extent that I went into the bathroom at one point and washed some of my undies. Can’t have me going about all smelly now, can we … "well, it’s never bothered you before" – ed.

Yes, I am feeling a little better now so I hope that I can have a really good night’s sleep for what is left of the night. I deserve it.

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Thursday 21st July 2016 – SO HAVING CRASHED OUT …

… in mid-afternoon yesterday, the next thing that I remember was it being 08:00 the following morning. That’s a night’s sleep of … errr … 16 hours and it definitely goes to show you that things aren’t right at all around here at the moment.

I managed to have breakfast – with the heaving throngs in the dining room. It looks as if we are quite full again at the moment. But all the noise was doing my head in, that’s for sure.

For the rest of the morning I didn’t do very much – just sat around here and vegetated. I missed out on lunch too, but I wasn’t too bothered about that. I’m definitely not in the mood for eating right now.

It’s a Bank Holiday in Belgium today and so Alison and I had agreed to go for a little walk. We met up in the Botanical Gardens just down the road from here and had a good chat.

But I couldn’t even do that either. Half a lap around the garden and I was whacked. I had to sit down for 10 minutes to catch my breath and even that didn’t seem to help matters very much. So less than one hour after leaving my little room to go out, I was back and on the bed again.

And there I stayed, yet again.

I didn’t crash out, but I was certainly in no fit condition to move. So there I lay for the rest of the day and that was that.

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