Tag Archives: smokey and the bandit

Wednesday 4th February 2026 – AFTER LAST NIGHT’S …

… issues, I have had a very leisurely day today. And while it might seem that I have not done very much at all, I have probably done even less than that. I was still recovering from yesterday’s efforts.

So last night, having failed miserably to complete my notes, I staggered off to bed indecently early and fell asleep quite quickly.

Surprisingly, given how these things usually go, I remained asleep until all of … errr … 05:20. I must really have been totally dead to the World last night.

Despite trying my best, I didn’t manage to go back to sleep so, round about 06:00, I crawled out of bed and dictated the radio notes for the two programmes that I wrote last week. It was fun, though, to say the least, because somewhere near the end of it all will be BILLY COTTON’S RAUCOUS RATTLE. I didn’t quite manage to beat the alarm.

After I’d finished, I went and sorted myself out in the bathroom and then I went into the kitchen for my hot drink and medication.

Back in here, I went to listen to the dictaphone – except that I didn’t. As I’ve come to type up my notes for tonight, I’ve just realised that I forgot to transcribe them today. Eventually though, the following morning, I managed to catch up with the notes.

Back in the USA, the President was having some idea of creating his own version of the Republican Guard that the Romans had. His idea was to recruit a couple of the best soldiers of each ethnic origin of people in the United States, and he would use that as an example of diversity and an example of strength and unity. But as usual, what happened was that when the President sent a call out to his regiments, the regiments took advantage by sending away a couple of their weakest members. When the President heard this, he was talking about raising a punishment battalion and putting all these battalion leaders in it, using it as an example of what happens when you try something as borderline criminal and it fails to work correctly. However, his allies in the French parliament managed to talk him out of doing something like this.

This is obviously no reference whatsoever to a certain president of the USA who created his own force with the express intention of crushing as brutally as possible the ethnic minorities of his country. However, it was a well-known trick in the British (and probably other) armed forces to use any kind of draft whatsoever to move any unsatisfactory member of a unit from their service and into someone else’s.

There was also a dream something like THE GREAT ESCAPE but with Burt Reynolds and Sally Field in it. They were fleeing from the justice as they did in SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT and in one particular incident, they had to leap over the edge of a cliff on skis. That’s something that you can do in snow but there was no snow in this particular dream. However, they still managed to make it down to the bottom. But when they were about two hundred yards from the frontier, Sally Field had a fall. Burt Reynolds stayed behind to help her and they were both captured. But then there was an alternative ending to this where they actually managed, or Burt Reynolds managed, to cross the barbed wire fence into a different country and managed to bring Sally Field over just as the sheriff and his posse pulled up on the road twenty feet away. There was some huge debate amongst the sheriff and the posse about whether to cross the border anyway to catch them and bring them back. But this border, it was a road with a ditch and a couple of strands of barbed wire fence. Once you were over the road and ditch and through the barbed wire fence, you were in a different country. Sally Field made it enormously complicated to climb through this fence of two or three strands of barbed wire, but when this posse was roaming up and down the border and no-one was sure whether they were going to cross or not, there were all kinds of instructions going around the town that people shouldn’t go anywhere near the border and keep well within their own side just in case they were kidnapped and taken back across. I was in this Spanish bar or restaurant or something near the border. It was lunchtime, so I went to ask for some patatas fritas. They replied in Spanish, which I didn’t quite understand. There was a queue out for this takeaway place, a typical traditional Spanish place, nothing modern, and I was in the queue for this. When I reached the front, I asked for the patatas fritas. They said something that I didn’t quite understand, so they said in English that it would be seventeen minutes. I said that I’d wait. Then I decided that I’d do something that I hadn’t done for years. I went into the bar place and asked for a cerveza. He said again something in Spanish that I didn’t quite catch, so I asked him to repeat it. He asked “what cerveza would you like?” I replied “I don’t know. What do you have?” He asked “would you like a beer from Sandbach?” I asked “you did say Sandbach, didn’t you?” He replied that he did, so I wondered how on earth he knew that I came from somewhere near Sandbach in Cheshire. But I said that I’d much rather have a Spanish beer.

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall the plots of the films “The Great Escape” and “Smokey and the Bandit” so I shan’t enlarge on them, but the crossing of borders to seize people and bring them back is a common Fascist tactic by certain countries that have no respect whatsoever for international law.

As for the dream itself, after I retired from work in 2004, I studied Spanish at night school in Brussels for eighteen months before moving down to the Auvergne. As for the beer, the last time I drank any alcohol was in 1994 in Bulgaria when, stranded up a mountain in the snow and fog when the ski lifts closed down unexpectedly, we had to pick our way down from up the mountain into the valley, leaping from crag to crag on skis as Burt Reynolds and Sally Field did. We found a little wayside inn halfway down, and, being so exhausted, we had a rest and a drink, even if the only drink on offer was beer.

Incidentally, throughout these pages, you’ll see links to Amazon products appearing every now and again. Being a Sales Associate of Amazon, I receive a small commission on goods sold via my links. It costs you nothing at all extra, but helps defray … "part of the" – ed … cost of my not-insubstantial web-hosting fees.

There are also links on the sidebar for AMAZON UK, AMAZON USA and, since the recent “troubles”, AMAZON CANADA for the use of my numerous Canadian visitors. As I said, I am extremely grateful when someone uses them to make a purchase

Anyway, Isabelle the Nurse turned up as usual. She managed to find me in the apartment instead of off on a medical appointment so she sorted out my feet and so on, and I could push on.

Once she’d left, I could make breakfast and read some more of Mortimer Wheeler’s MAIDEN CASTLE .

And being now well into the book, I can see why people considered James Curle’s A ROMAN FRONTIER POST AND ITS PEOPLE to be "ahead of its time and still the most decisive work published in Scotland covering this period of Roman occupation".

Curle’s book was a masterpiece of precision and accuracy with very little speculation. On the other hand, Mortimer Wheeler, considered by many to be the leading archaeologist of the period, twenty-five years later, has written a book that leaps about from one place to another without any real coherency, and it’s full of assumptions and speculation.

There is page after page after page of what the Romans might have done in Wessex, based on the scantiest of evidence. And in any case, none of it has anything to do with the excavations at the site. It’s all pretty much irrelevant.

We can see that for the period from about 70 AD to, say, 300 AD, the site was empty and being used as farmland, but the whys and wherefores of that are of no interest at all, whether or … "in this case " – ed … not there is any solid evidence to support it.

However, a couple of his comments did lead me on to some more Neolithic cursus and barrow sites, and I was wandering around in cyberspace for a while.

Back in here, I finished off the notes from last night, and one or two other things too, and had a chat with Alison who is not at all well right now. I sent her all my best, and I wish that there was something that I could do for her. It’s terrible when we are both holed up like this.

A couple of other people wanted a chat too, people whom I hadn’t seen for ages and ages. In one of these chats, however, I’m not sure what happened, but another contributor thought that I wasn’t real and I was thrown off the chat site.

Me? Not real? You couldn’t make it up, could you?

There was also a telephone interview with my internet supplier. I’d been asking for a compte-rendu of the failure of the engineer to install my fibre-optic cable but despite several reminders, he’s not replied.

Of course, I can’t go and knock the building about on my own. Firstly, it’s a listed building here and secondly, it’s the responsibility of the residents’ committee to deal with these issues. And without a compte-rendu in writing, they can’t do anything at all. So I’ve arranged for a further survey to take place on Wednesday next week so that he can check the work of the first guy and provide the technical report.

It goes without saying that I’ve invited the residents’ committee and the estate agent who deals with the building, as well as a few others, to attend, to witness the event and to take copious notes. And it also goes without saying that the only replies that I have received are to say that certain people can’t make it. Voting with their feet and heading for the hills, I shouldn’t wonder.

There was time to write some (but not much) of the notes for the radio programme. It was disappointing that I didn’t finish, and that I’m a long way from finishing too, but these things happen occasionally when there’s a combination of different services that arises. I must do better tomorrow – after all, I can hardly do worse.

So with no tea tonight except some crackers and vegan cheese, I’m going to bed ready … "I don’t think" – ed … for dialysis tomorrow.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about forgetfulness … "well, one of us has" – ed … It’s only fair to mention the state of anyone’s memory and the two things that happen when they reach the magic age of threescore years and ten
"The first thing that happens is that you forget absolutely everything you ever remember" I said to a friend.
"And what’s the second thing?" she asked.
"I don’t know" I replied. "I’ve forgotten."

Thursday 9th January 2020 – REGULAR READERS …

clearing the railway line port de granville harbour manche normandy france eric hall… of this rubbish will recall that a good few months ago I spoke about some kind of plan or other involving the abandoned railway network that ran through the port at one time.

This morning on my travels up town to LIDL I happened to look over the wall down to the harbour, and here they are, digging out the infill from where they had covered it up in the past.

It goes without saying that I’m really intrigued with what’s going on down there and on my way for my dejeunette tomorrow I shall be making further enquiries.

no victor hugo port de granville harbour manche normandy france eric hallWith lots of activity going on in the harbour down there right now, you could be forgiven for thinking that that was that.

But not at all. In fact one thing that was conspicuous in one sense was that Victor Hugo was conspicuous by its absence. That means that both of the Channel Islands ferries are out somewhere because Granville, the newer one, is also absent and has been for a day or two now.

It must be all go at the Channel Islands right now

But it wasn’t all go here this morning. The night was reasonably early and I did hear all of the three alarms, but I couldn’t somehow find the intention to leave the stinking pit. It was gone 08:00 when I finally saw daylight this morning and that’s no good at all.

After the medication I attacked the dictaphone and I’m not sure exactly what I was doing in some kind of poor mountain village in poverty-stricken USA but it was doing some thing like a radio programme or whatever, I suppose. I had this young girl with me – she might even have been my daughter. The story goes that she was found kissing one of the boys in this village. They rounded up this girl and me and started to change our clothes and gave us nice clothes to wear. It suddenly struck me that this is marriage, isn’t it? This girl is going to be married off to this boy presumably but she was nowhere near old enough for this kind of thing. She was admiring the clothes that she was wearing and started to hum “here comes the bride” and suddenly had this appalling look of horror on her face as she too realised what was going to happen and started to snatch the clothes off her. These people were trying to grab hold of her to keep the clothes on and that was when I awoke.

After breakfast I was straight into the shower and as I seem to be struggling for clothes right now, I stuck a pile of dirty ones into the washing machine and let them have a run round.

And then the excitement began.

Wit my train being cancelled this morning I mentioned that I was changing my travelling arrangements. So off to the railway station in the pouring rain.

Hardly had I presented myself at the ticket window when the girl there beckoned someone else forward and let them have their say before me. Needless to say, there were words said about that.

She then couldn’t piece together my itinerary so I had to help her put the tickets in order (which had been in order until she had started messing around with them)

So eventually I was able to ask –
Our Hero – “as my train has been cancelled today, I’d like to change my travel and go again in two weeks time”
Girl at Window – “what date is that?”
OH – “two weeks from today”
GAW – “what date is that?”
OH – “whatever date two weeks from today is. The 23rd is it?”
GAW – “I don’t know”
OH doing some rough calculation – yes, 23rd
GAW – “the same trip?”
OH – “Didn’t I say that?”
GAW – “I don’t know”
so eventually after much prompting and grumbling she did it.
OH – “now what about the return?”
GAW – “what date?”
OH – “Just what I said earlier – the same trip but in two weeks time”.
GAW – “What date is that?”
OH – “whatever date is two weeks from the date on the ticket”
GAW – “but you haven’t told me what date”
OH by now rapidly losing his patience and his temper was surely bound to follow – “two weeks from the date on that ticket”
GAW – “but what’s the date?”
OH doing some more rough calculations – the 26th
GAW – “that will be €15:00”
OH – “what do you mean €15:00? I’m having to rearrange all of my trip because the outward train isn’t running. You’ve cancelled it”
GAW – “but the return train is running”
OH – “so how am I supposed to get the return train if I can’t travel out to get it?”
GAW – “I dunno”

The net result of all of this is that they will need to repaint the interior of the station booking office where the paint has blistered under the heat of my incendiary comments. I’ve not changed my return trip as yet but I shall be doing so in very early course once I’ve spoken to the SNCF head office.

LIDL next. And nothing of any excitement there, although I did forget to buy the peppers and mushrooms. I dunno what’s the matter with me right now.

Calling at La Mie Caline for my dejeunette, I then headed off for home.

Most of the day has been spent doing this football thing and by the time that I knocked off it was almost finished. There are 7, or possibly 8 main threads now with all of the isolated soundbites incorporated in to one of the threads as appropriate.

The linking texts have been dictated too but all of that needs editing and some background dubbed onto it, and then I can link it all together and dictate a closure to add in.

It’s about an hour’s work, I reckon, but knowing me, it will probably take most of the morning.

And then I have that stupid, pointless translation to do. It hasn’t escaped my attention that with the project owner not having had the time to edit it, I’m going to have to translate everything. I reckon that I keep about 15-20% of whatever I record on an interview and discard 80-85%, so this tells me that 80-85% of my work is going to end up filed under CS.

And that’s a thought that depresses me greatly as you can imagine. As Sheriff Buford T Justice put it so well in Smokey and the Bandit “we don’t have time for that crap!” I don’t know what people think I am … “and I don’t think that you want to either” – ed.

There were the usual interruptions today. Lunch was one of them of course and that hummus that I made the other day is tasting better and better as the herbs and garlic spread through it.

high winds storm waves port de granville harbour wall manche normandy france eric hallWe had the afternoon walk of course, around the headland.

The sun was out and it was quite bright now. The rain had stopped. But there was a fierce wind blowing around and whipping up quite a wave down there. Some of the waves were crashing over the sea wall with an impressive force.

Not the kind of day to be out there at all.

trawler baie de mont st michel granville manche normandy france eric hallNevertheless, there were quite a few people doing their best. There was a line of about a dozen fishing boats heading into port.

If you have any doubt about what the phrase “making heavy weather of it” means, just one look at this boat will explain it to you better than anything I can say.

She was up and down and in and out of the waves all the way around the headland.

la grande ancre fishing boats port de granville harbour manche normandy france eric hallYou probably noticed that I mentioned the line of fishing boats out there heading into port.

This is where they are heading and they’ll have to ride out at anchor because there isn’t any room at the inn. Apart from our old friend La Grande Ancre, I count another 8 of them just there.

The pink one that we saw heading this way is going to take the last empty berth and the rest of them out there will have to wait.

fishing boat unloading port de granville harbour manche normandy france eric hallNot for long though.

The unloading takes place pretty quickly, as you can see. There’s quite a load on that boat there and they are using the cranes to stack it onto the trailer that is pulled by the tractor.

Where it goes after that I don’t know, but one of these days I’ll track it down.

fibre optic cable rue du roc granville manche normandy france eric hallBack to the apartment now to carry on working.

And the day that I might be able to work even faster might not be far away. That’s the company that’s installing the fibre-optic cable and they are doing something out in the street just outside the Place d’Armes.

Here’s hoping that it’s the cable being connected up.

Tea tonight was a burger – or, at least, it should have been a burger. But in the packet that i bought “on spec” from NOZ were some galette- thinks, like small thick crepes made with vegan components. Quite different from what I was expecting but tasty all the same and I’ll look out for more of these.

night donville les bains granville manche normandy france eric hallFor the evening walk I was on my own at first.

Cold and windy but the sky was reasonably clear. Donville-les-Bains was looking quite nice in the dark but I didn’t stay around long to admire it. I went off and had my run.

However I have never ever felt less like it than I did. The strong headwind didn’t help but even so I was all for giving up after the first 100 yards. I kept on going though, and just about made it to the ramp.

night la rafale pizza van place cambernon granville manche normandy france eric hallThere were crowds of people outside La Rafale, the bar in the Place Cambernon, and the pizza van that wa sparked there was doing a roaring trade.

My attention was distracted by a woman taking a rather small cat for a walk. She explained to me tearfully that it had been diagnosed with this cat disease that goes around. It’s survived a couple of attacks but it now had it again and its days are numbered.

And so i commiserated with her and gave her cat a stroke, poor thing.

Now that I’ve finished my notes, I’m off to bed. It’s later than I hoped but for some reason I can’t concentrate on anything today.

But at least I didn’t crash out. That’s always something to be grateful for, I suppose.

Sunday 27th April 2015 – I WAS ON MY TRAVELS …

… last night too.

If you’ve ever seen the film Smokey and the Bandit you’ll remember the scene where the car transporter rips the door off the Sheriff’s car. Now I was at a similar site in an area of similar vegetation – a flat-bottomed river valley with a river (as you might expect), a road, a strip of vegetation of about 100 metres width and then a steep slope upwards with a winding side-road going up to the top.

I was here with a small army – a hundred or so men – and we were the rearguard installed here to hold off an advancing army. Every now and again, a lorry would come down the hill, take away more of our personal possessions, until in the end we had just the clothes that we were wearing, and some weapons and that was that.

What surprised me about all of this was the silence. I’ve never been anywhere or in any situation where there was such a complete and utter silence as we waited for the enemy to show up.

All of this goes to show just how deep my sleeping is and how comfortable my new bed is.

My lie-in lasted until about 08:50, which was nothing like enough as far as I am concerned, but again, I must have had a good night’s sleep.

After breakfast, I made a start on writing the radio programmes for the next series of programmes but my heart wasn’t really in it and I didn’t last long. I ended up watching Bala and TNS on the laptop and doing some more editing of old radio shows to extract more soundbytes.

So that was my Sunday – apart from the rain of course. 33mm fell during the course of the day and as I said yesterday, the big benefit of having the bedroom is that I can’t hear the rain falling on the roof when I’m in bed, like I could when asleep on the sofa bed in the attic. That’s definitely an improvement.