Tag Archives: phil beer

Wednesday 3rd September 2025 – WHEN THE ALARM …

… went off at 06:29, I was already sitting on the edge of the bed – and had been for ten minutes – trying to summon up the force, the energy and the courage to leave the bed.

Well, in fact, the alarm didn’t go off at all. I switched it off when I rolled out from under the covers, but you get the idea.

It was quite astonishing that I was up so early because it was a horribly late night. Feeling rather depressed and miserable, a concert by the Phil Beer Band came onto the playlist and there are several songs on there that seem to affect me like that and I really don’t know why.

However, I’ll always make time for the group to play THE BORDER SONG and, as you might expect, when you want to go to bed and there’s a concert of one hour and forty-three minutes, that’s the song that they always play to close the show, so you have to wait up.

Once in bed though, I was soon asleep and although I was tired, I awoke on two or three occasions. When I awoke just after 06:00 this morning, I couldn’t go back to sleep again and for twenty-odd minutes, there didn’t seem to be much point so I forced myself out of bed.

After I’d had a good wash and clean up, I went for the medication and then, changing the habits of a lifetime, I quickly tidied up the kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. Isabelle the Nurse starts her round today and I expect that she’ll want to examine the apartment.

Back in here, while I waited, I listened to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night and, more importantly, who had come with me. And to my surprise and delight, I’d had a special visitor last night.

There was a group of us going off again. I first of all had to go to collect one of the girls who had a shop in High Street in Crewe. So she locked up her shop and had to go to the nightclub next door for the keys, but then found that there was a light on further back in the shop so she had to run down there to switch it off and then run back to hand in the keys. Meanwhile, my brother went across the road and fetched Zero. She was coming with me. Eventually, we all gathered in the car park and climbed into the van that I had. There were a couple of girls sitting in the front and I was driving. Zero was sitting right behind me, leaning over my shoulder. As we were driving, I made the remark that she looked rather like a parrot sitting on my shoulder, to which she replied in a bad temper that she wasn’t a parrot at all. I asked her what she was to which she replied “a bad-tempered, rude-mouthed girl” which made me laugh. After we had been driving a couple of years … "don’t you mean ‘hours’?" – ed … we pulled up at the side of the road to sleep for a few hours. I curled up in the back and Zero came to curl up next to me.

So after having mentioned yesterday one of my special young ladies, another one came to see me last night. And what’s more, she curled up next to me in the back of the van and for once, my family didn’t intervene. But the story about curling up in the back of the van with a young lady reminds me of another occasion that is much more recent, and just about as ethereal as curling up with Zero.

Nevertheless, I’m not going to complain at all.

When Isabelle the Nurse came in, she inspected the apartment and promptly fell in love with it. I’m not surprised, because I love my little apartment too. She sorted out my legs and then we discussed this “dialysis at home”. She gave me a very stern warning against it, for a variety of reasons.

Apparently, the people at dialysis describe it in one way that makes it sound attractive, but Isabelle described the same procedure in a totally different way that made it totally unattractive to someone as nesh as me.

And that reminded me of my first introduction to propaganda. When I used to drive taxis, I would always drive at night and the BBC would finish its broadcasts at 02:00 with a news bulletin.

Turning the dial slightly, you would then pick up the English language broadcasts of Radio Free Bulgaria that would start at 02:00 with a news bulletin. They would say the same news, but by changing the stress and the pronunciation, they could make it sound exactly the opposite to the BBC.

So the same news, told the same way but with different stresses and emphases to make it portray the opposite viewpoint. Who was right?

After Isabelle left, I made breakfast and read some more of MIDDLESEX IN BRITISH, ROMAN AND SAXON TIMES.

We’re now discussing the Saxon overrunning of Middlesex, with a highly fanciful account of the invasion that is backed up by almost no evidence whatsoever. Our author seems to like this flights of fantasy into unrecorded territory.

Modern research seems to discount almost all of his theories in this respect, but then again, modern research also seems to discount or deny the ethnic cleansing of the Romano-British population by the Saxons. However, ss I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … the sudden and dramatic end of writing, of ironworking, of urban dwelling and of many other skills and habits cannot really be attributed to anything else. We have the classic example of Cambodia, the Khmer Rouge, the Killing Fields and the “Back To The Land” movement in this respect.

After breakfast, I changed the habits of a lifetime and began to tidy up. Having spent hours trying to find certain herbs and spices yesterday, that was the focal point of my attack and eventually, I’d managed to sort them out as I would like them to be.

There were a few other things too but I didn’t go too mad in this respect. However, I am having difficulty finding things, like the power pack to drive the little Roland bass cube for example.

There was a disgusting drink break of course and then I came in here to deal with a problem concerning the data senders for the fleet monitor, the transmissions for which are not being received at the Head Office in Denmark. The warning lights seem to be flashing as normal, so I took a one-minute video of the senders and the flashing lights.

There followed an interruption by the usual Wednesday visit by my cleaner. First thing that we did was to sort out all the bedding and I found a quilt cover and sheet that I didn’t know that I had.

She arranged the shower for me and I went and had a really good soak too. You’ve no idea how nice it is to have a lovely, warm shower in a lovely shower cubicle. But it’s rather precarious and I need to sort out the handrails so that I can have a much better purchase for pulling myself into the cubicle.

After my cleaner left, I came back in here and crashed out in one of those sudden, dramatic crashes that I have sometimes. I was out of it for an hour or so, which was disappointing, but even more disappointing was that when I awoke, I didn’t know where I was or what time of day it was, and I was half-expecting to go for breakfast at that point.

Not that that’s any surprise. I don’t know where I am or what day of the week it is even when I’m wide awake.

At that point, Rosemary ‘phoned me for a chat. Just a short one today, only one hour and thirty-six minutes. It’s nice to chat to people like that and thanks to these internet chat applications, it’s all free too.

One of the things that we discussed was how good friends seem suddenly to drop off the radar and you never seem to hear from them again after a while. That’s something else that is perfectly true. Having said that of course, I still have a friend and a former girlfriend from Grammar School with whom I’m regularly in touch

Tea tonight was a taco roll with rice and veg, and now that I’ve finished my notes, I’m off to bed, late as usual. Tomorrow, it’s dialysis and I’m not looking forward to that at all.

But seeing as we have been talking about propaganda … "well, one of us has" – ed … one of the greatest exponents of the art of propaganda was General Hindenburg of the Imperial German Army, who claimed all of the credit for the battles in Eastern Europe that destroyed the Russian Army in 1914, much to the disgust of General Hoffman who had actually led the German troops into battle.
Years later, Hoffman used to take official visitors around the battlefields there, and he would always point out three particular farmhouses.
Of the first one, he would say "here is the place where our Glorious Leader slept before the battle"
And of the second one, he would say "here is the place where our Glorious Leader slept after the battle"
But of the third one, he would say "here is the place where our Glorious Leader slept during the battle"

Thursday 19th June 2025 – WE NOW HAVE …

… a fridge-freezer downstairs to go with the oven that came on Wednesday. A large van must have done half a dozen laps around here before deciding that this building is where he wants to be.

And we need a large fridge-freezer too because the temperature is ridiculous today. My faithful cleaner is convinced that she saw 38°C indicated on a temperature reader in the town. If that’s the case, it’s the hottest that I’ve been since I was IN HUNGARY IN 2020.

It didn’t look like that last night. It was fairly cool when I came in here to write up my notes, and I was so comfortable that I wasn’t in any rush to finish. It ended up a slow, leisurely evening and after midnight I was still letting it all hang out.

Eventually I made it into bed and was asleep quite quickly. But once again, not for long because at 05:35 I was wide awake.

With the extra-early start, I dictated the radio notes that i’d written earlier in the week – and then had to dictate them a second time as the first attempt didn’t record. And the volume is still weak and feeble, just like me at the moment

By now, everyone else was awake so I went for a wash and shave in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant this afternoon. Then we assembled in the kitchen and sat around drinking coffee.

The Hound of the Baskervilles dragged its master off for walkies and I came in here to listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night. I was doing something with the radio last night, having to play around with various tracks to work out how long they were and work out whereabouts in the programme they would actually fit. I wasn’t doing it for very long because I don’t know what awoke me but I happened to wake up round about 05:35 so I’ve no idea.

One of the songs that was going round and round in my head when I awoke was Steve Earle’s THE DEVIL’S RIGHT HAND, sung by the Phil Beer Band. It was probably stuck in my brain due to the fact that I was listening to a concert by the group just before I went to bed.

After that, I made a start on editing the radio notes but everyone came back from walkies so we had more coffee.

Interestingly, the hackles on the Hound of the Baskervilles stood up and he began to have a deep, menacing growl. 30 seconds later, Isabelle the Nurse came in. He barked at her but she soon won him over and left me thinking “I wish that she’d stroke me like that!”

Once she’d left I could have breakfast, and then we plotted what we intended to do this afternoon and sorted everything out. We also watched a strange van circle around here a couple of times

My cleaner came bang on time to fit my anaesthetic patches, having noticed a strange van circling around. She’d asked then if it was for me but then denied it all, and carried on circling.

The taxi was early, and when I descended, I noticed that the van had made up its mind and had stopped. They had the tail-lift down and were manoeuvring … "PERSONoeuvring" – ed …. an enormous package – my fridge-freezer. My friend helped them move it into the apartment downstairs while I rode off into the sunset.

There were two other people to pick up on the way, but even so, we were early. However, it was to no avail, being early, because they weren’t ready for me. I had to loiter around for twenty minutes.

The coupling-up was painful as usual, and then I was so exhausted that I crashed out for fifteen minutes or so. The staff, though, left me mostly alone, except for the odd check of my blood pressure when the alarm sounded.

In the middle of it all, there were several ‘phone calls. There was another delivery but the driver was lost. Consequently I had to liaise with him, my friend and my faithful cleaner in order that the parcel arrived as it should. All of this effort for a new spice rack.

Océane uncoupled me this evening, and not for the first time, she held my hand while she compressed my arm, which I thought was sweet. When I was let go, she came with me to hand my bag over to the taxi driver, and as she turned to go back in, I expressed my surprise that she wasn’t going to come home with me.

But honestly, any one of a dozen or so of those nurses could come hime with me any time they liked.

Back here, I inspected the new purchases, and also the insides of the wardrobes that my friend had painted for me. They look so much better now, and will look even nicer when they are dry.

As a treat, I took him out to the Italian restaurant that we like. I had my usual penne al arrabbiata and he had ham in a gorgonzola sauce. I hope that it tasted better than it smelt.

So right now, thoroughly exhausted and the fan on to try to cool everything down, I’m off to bed where I intend to sleep for a week.

But seeing as we have been talking about the delivery driver … "well, one of us has" – ed … when I came home my friend told me that the Hound of the Baskervilles had been chasing the delivery driver down the street in his van.
"That’ll teach him a valuable lesson" I said. "Next time he comes here, he’ll take the keys out of the ignition and close the door"
Nevertheless, I was quite impressed. I didn’t even realise that the Hound of the Baskervilles could drive

Monday 1st January 2024 – HAPPY NEW YEAR …

… to everyone who reads this blog entry, either today,, tomorrow or in the future.

May I take this opportunity of wishing you for 2024 everything that you wished for everyone else in 2023.

And I know that it will only be good wishes, because it’s only nice people who follow this blog.

These days I’m a lot nicer than I used to be. I’ve learnt a lot over the years and life has taught me a lot too, and I wish that 40 years ago I was the person who I am now.

But that can’t be helped, can it?

But seriously, I do wish you all a very happy New Year with lots of love.

It’s been one of the most difficult year of my life, I reckon, worse than 2015 when I was taken ill in the first place.

And I’m grateful for all the support that I received from my friends and from the people who follow this blog and send me little cheery notes every now and again to cheer me up when I’m feeling down.

Without the support of all of you things would be so much more difficult and I’m grateful for all of you.

For the benefit of new readers, of which there are more than a few just recently, I have a carcinogenic protein in my bloodstream.

Obviously, if you have more of one thing in a fixed volume, you have less of another, and the protein attacks my red blood cells to make room for its growth

The problem that that causes is that if you have fewer red blood cells, which carry the oxygen around the body, the heart must beat so much faster to supply enough oxygen to the body. And that’s something that can only keep going for so long

The blood count should be 15 units of red blood cells. If it drops below 8.0 the heart can’t deal with the problem because the pressure isn’t there in the system and I have to have a blood transfusion

By the way, when I was taken to hospital in November 2015 (thank you for ever, Rosemary) my blood count was 3.8 and by any kind of logic I should have been dead.

The protein moves around the body and so far I’ve had my spleen, part of my kidneys (and bits of something else, regrettably) and a couple of other things removed already.

Now, they have detected signs of the cancer in my heart, which is bad news in anyone’s book seeing how hard it has to work, and it’s invaded my nervous system so I’ve lost the use of my right leg, my left leg is going and little by little it’ll spread through the body.

The spleen is the big issue though. That controls your immune system so with no spleen I have no immunity to anything. I have a series of injections every few years but it doesn’t cover everything and in Canada last year I picked up a type of viral pneumonia that is unknown in Europe and which nearly killed me, according to my doctor.

And they can’t use penicillin to treat anything because I’m allergic to it, having been hospitalised with bronchitis and pneumonia when I was an infant.

They can only give so much treatment. It’s like a car battery – you keep on charging it up and slowly but surely it takes longer to charge and holds its charge for a lesser and lesser time. That’s how my bloodstream is right now.

There’s a lifespan on this illness too. No-one with it has lived longer than 11 years and I was diagnosed in 2015, so I’m well into the critical period.

And the end isn’t very pleasant either, so they say, but we don’t need to worry about that. Anyone treating me medically knows what to do and when to do it.

Anyway, I digress.

The alarm went off at 10:00 and I fell out of bed at that moment. “Late” you might think, but I didn’t go to bed until 04:00 this morning sorting out some of the concerts that I’ve been sent (thanks again, Shrewsbury Folk Festival).

So here’s A Show Of Hands wishing you all A HAPPY NEW YEAR and I hope that you enjoy that track as much as I did. It really is that good, I promise you. One of the best things that I’ve heard recently.

And that’s what I’ve been doing – checking over the stuff that I’ve been sent, with grateful thanks.

But there was also the dictaphone. A short night but there was plenty of stuff thereupon. I was with a woman last night. We were in a lorry and she was driving. We had to go to pick up some of my siblings so we set off. At one stage we found ourselves driving through Flagstaff in Arizona and we were talking about the town and my visit there years ago. She was saying that you need to be very careful, stick to the speed limits and don’t have good tyres on your car or they’ll disappear during the night etc. I agreed completely. Anyway we passed through the town and turned left at the end. There were only three of my siblings. I asked “where’s the oldest fourth missing sibling?”. “Ohh, she hasn’t come yet and I don’t think that she wants to” said someone. I thought “here we go again! I have to sort out my family but they don’t want sorting out, they just want to argue. Here I am again stuck in the middle of all of this and it’s nothing at all to do with me”.

At some point during the night some woman put down a basket of tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, down right in front of me. Just when I went to pick two of them they moved the packet and left me groping uncomfortably in mid-air trying to find it again. I was very disappointed that it had gone because I’d enjoy eating the rest of the contents

I also dreamt that someone had a great big pile of washing and put it right by the side of my bed. When I went to bed I had to manoeuvre myself around the washing very carefully but then I awoke. Getting out of bed I kicked a sock off this pile of clothes that were still there so I actually apologised to someone when I awoke while I was awake. It took me a couple of minutes to realise that this was actually a dream and not something that had happened in real life

When the alarm went off at 10:00 I left the bed but I kicked this pile of washing again and apologised to whoever it was, before I realised that it was a dream.

Ingrid rang me for a little chat too. Our conversations are quite interesting. They start off in one language, usually French, and when we can’t think of a word and we’ll speak in either English or Dutch (Ingrid) and Flemish (me), sometimes someone speaking in one language and the other person replying in another.

By the way, Dutch and Flemish are very similar languages and if you know one you’ll understand the other. It’s a bit like the difference between Scots English and BBC English.

Interestingly I had the 5-string fretless bass out again today. I was listening to a Phil Beer concert and ended up joining in. It’s difficult playing it sitting down and I can’t stand up to play it, but I did my best.

Tea tonight was a Christmas dinner, complete with Christmas pudding.. But how do I store the rest of the puddling that’s left so that I can eat it next year? Does anyone have any ideas’

So having done everything, I reckon that I’ll go to bed. Alarm at 07:00 tomorrow and back into the routine, whatever it is. It’s “all go” around here isn’t it?

And thanks again for all of your support over the last few years. It really does make a difference. And here’s Semisonic, a band that I met when I was with Onion River Radio (the good old days of internet radio) in Montpelier, Vermont. 2024 will be YOUR YEAR