… holiday in the UK today and so in accordance with my usual prior-established principles, I have emulated my namesake the mathematician and done three-fifths of five-eighths of … errr … nothing.

Usually, that would also mean a lie-in too but these days lie-ins, or lies-in, are a thing of the past. What with the nurse coming round to bother me at 08:30 every morning, unless I want her to get into bed with me, I have to be up and about.

So that means going to bed at a reasonably early time and once more, I failed miserably. It might not have been midnight, but it was a long weary while after my target time of 23:00

With all of the stuff that I have to do before I go to bed, I’m surprised that I actually manage to find the time to go to sleep.

But anyway I did manage to make it into bed and I was asleep quickly enough, ready to join in the (af)fray in the morning.

When the alarm went off, I was flat out fast asleep in bed. And so was the dictaphone. By the looks of things I’d fallen asleep in the middle of dictating a dream and left the machine running. So I apologise once more for doubting you, Percy Pengiun.

After having a good wash I came back in here to listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night. There was some kind of conflict between a football club and a group of “Stop Oil” protestors. The “Stop Oil” protestor was eventually arrested and taken to Court where the Judge told him that while he respected the right of everyone to protest, other people also have rights too, including the right to enjoy a peaceful game of football. His rights were no more important than theirs etc. I didn’t get to where the sentence was

That kind of thing surprises me – that I can string together a logical argument while I’m asleep. I just wish that I could do it while I’m awake. But really, these “Stop Oil” protestors are bringing their own movement into disrepute, travelling to demonstrations by aeroplane or car instead of walking or cycling there. And what about the rights of other people, like the right to travel by car?

I was out with some friends. We’d been working in some area so we decided that we’d go to the pub. I was driving and we ended up in this village. I parked the car in the village centre and walked but there was no pub. We went into the local garage to ask the guy there. He knew of someone who was marrying and having a party but that was about everything. He said that he knew of no pub in the village. He had a nice P100 pick-up in there – a black one based on a Mark V Cortina. Someone remembered that there was a pub in the next village so we decided that we’d go there. They ran off. It was my father who got behind the wheel of the car while the others pushed it so that they’d turn it round but they ended up pushing it probably a couple of hundred yards. I had to hobble after them. When I arrived at the car I told them that I’d parked the car where it was because it was convenient for me. I’m not in the state where I can go running after the car that someone is moving around. This kind of thing is going to kill me. They should have a little more consideration for me and my illness. Their response surprised me. They started to complain saying “you mean you have an illness and you don’t know whether it’s eight years or eighty years” and quite a few other things that made me think that they believed that I was malingering. In the end once I’d finally installed myself behind the wheel and finally recovered my breath I turned to them and told them that I’d had enough and was going home. They were free to either carry on, stay here or go back home to Crewe as they wished but I just wanted to go home. I’d had enough

This is rather a familiar story, isn’t it? Regular readers of this rubbish will recall a considerable number of conflicts between my family and me over all kinds of things, many that have spilled over into my nocturnal ramblings. I mean – it’s over 30 years since I removed myself from the sphere of influence of my family so why does it keep on cropping up these days?

So now you understand why football matches at Stranraer are taken quite seriously by the footballers and they refuse to participate in what I call these “distraction” games. There was always the problem with playing with teams like Caledonian Braves and – what’s the other one – Knights of Columbia or whatever they are called, provided that they are quite sensible about it, that they dress like footballers, play like footballers and act like footballers in place of people who want to play politics … fell asleep here …

Funnily enough, I saw a football match the other day involving Caledonian Braves, a team that plays in the Scottish Lowland League. I can’t say that I remember too much about it so I can’t have been impressed

So did I dictate the dream … "no you didn’t" – ed … about – I have porridge here in my mind I’ve no idea why – about the guy who had an emotional breakdown for some reason or other while he was being questioned. No-one really knew and neither did he. He went off to speak to someone to talk about this emotional crisis that he’d had in the middle of one of these interviews.

People having emotional crises in the middle of interviews is always a recipe for disaster. There are never any winners in that scenario.

Isabelle the Nurse was in chat mode again today and had a lot to say about absolutely nothing at all. So much so that she forgot to swipe my health card for the end of the Month and had to come back later in the day to do the paperwork

After she left I made breakfast and read some more of my book. This week’s book is the story of a walk along the Icknield Way in 1906 or some date like that and it’s very interesting.

The author here talks about ley lines without even saying what they are or understanding what they are supposed, according to some people, to do. But he figured out their purpose well enough to be able to make a few comments that attracted later supporters of that theory

And the derision of a few opponents, I shouldn’t wonder.

There was a ‘phone call today too. The surgeon who performed my operation has heard my story about the bill and is outraged. He (via his secretary) was pleading with me to keep the appointment on the 10th of September and he’ll “see what he can do”.

That’s two groups of people now seeing what they can do, but by the looks of things they don’t seem to be doing enough

So having spent the morning sorting out the hospital bookings, this afternoon I’ve been footballing.

My Scottish ground-hopping expeditions took me to Irvine for the local Marymass derby between Irvine Meadow and Irvine Victoria.

It’s a cup match with a difference – the Meadow are about 50 places higher than the Vics in the league and the game was being played at the Meadow’s ground. And so it was odds-on a Meadow victory

But form counts for nothing in the cup and the Vics surprisingly ran out 2-1 victors. And that upset just about everyone except for a band of about 150 Vics supporters in the “away” end who braved the torrential rain to cheer on their team.

My cleaner stuck her head in to bring back the rest of the medication and to take my order for LeClerc’s cheese. And some fresh ginger too. I fancy making a ginger cake.

She sent me a photo later of her ginger plant. She had some ginger once that sprouted roots so she planted it – and it grew. It smells lovely apparently when you rub the leaves.

There were some bills to pay too today. I don’t want to forget those as they are important.

Apart from that, I’ve been radioing. I’ve been organising the folders and carrying on with one of my projects. It’s slow going but it won’t be done at all if I don’t do it

Tea tonight was a delicious stuffed pepper – one of the frozen batch. And that reminds me – when I send off my order later this week I’ll need four peppers, not two. Stocks are running low.

So that’s that for now. I’m ready for bed. Back to work tomorrow so I need to find some motivation from somewhere

But talking about the football, I was told a story about the match at Penybont this afternoon where Aberystwyth Town are said to have turned in one of the worst performances by any Welsh Premier team.
Tow lads from Aberystwyth were caught climbing over the fence at the ground at half-time but the police caught them.
"It’s no good, lads. Climbing the fence won’t help you" said one of the coppers. "You’ll just have to climb back again"
"What?" asked one of the boys. "And watch another 45 minutes of that rubbish?"