Category Archives: avenue Jeanne

Friday 16th August 2013 – I HAD A REALLY EXCITING DREAM …

… last night, but when I woke up, it completely disappeared and I can’t remember a thing about it now. Ahh Well.

And so I had another really good session on the computer, did some “granny-sitting” while Cécile went to the shops, and did sme more emptying of the cellar. Tons of stuff gone out of there now and it looks a little more respectable. Up here though, it’s total chaos. MArianne has kept tons of stuff, some of which is , quite frankly, rubbish (and if you hear me say that then you know that it really is) whereas some of the stuff is quite crucial and I don’t understand at all why iy’s been filed as loose paper in the cellar when it’s clearly of some quite import. I have also found a photograph, that asks more questions than it answers. In fact it makes me feel like Nansen the Polar explorer …“and where are you going to find Nansen the Polar explorer at this time of night?” – ed … who famously said in his book In Northern Mists "… the more extensive my studies became, the more riddles I perceived – riddle after riddle led to new riddles and this drew me on …".

Most things are now photographed and I’ll be having a day putting everything on line. That will give people a Sunday to come and look at them and see what they think. I hope that I can get rid of some more stuff – I’m being plagued with people making derisory offers right now and that is getting on my wick.

Thursday 15th August 2013 – I KNOW THAT I PROMISED YOU …

…that I wouldn’t discuss the question of parking any more, but I’m a bigger liar than Barack Obama when he promised to close the Concentration Camp at Guantanamo Bay.

sensible parking avenue jeanne ixelles 1050 brussels belgiumI have in fact been obliged to continue my discussion and to post a photograph, because here is someone who actually did it properly.

I can certainly say that there was nothing in front of him – he could have advanced another 3 or 4 metres if he had so desired, and not only that, he actually looked out of his car door, saw where the line was and reversed back another foot or so to make sure that he was on the limit.

It goes without saying that the driver wasn’t a Belgian. He was of oriental extraction – East Asian or something like that. But anyway he did it properly.

So this morning I was up again early and while Cécile and her mum were sleeping I dashed off a huge pile of amendments to my web site, adding the “like” and “share” buttons, correcting the layout of a few headings, and also adding on some stuff about cookies. In case you are wondering, I haven’t coded any cookies knowingly into my website. The only ones that you might find are those embedded into third-party plug-ins;

Eventually Cécile and her mum were ready and so I sent them off out to the shops but they were back inside half an hour. It’s “Ascension”, isn’t it? And Belgians don’t need too many excuses for having a day off.

This afternoon we attacked the cellar and I can’t blame Cécile for losing interest half-way through because it’s a desperate job. I’ve no idea why Marianne tore up so much paper – letters and stuff – as she did and then put it all down in her cellar. I’ve sorted out most of that stuff but we’ll need to finish it off tomorrow if Cécile can pluck up the courage;

There’s much more stuff photographed and I’ve put a good pile of iton the web page as well as on the Deuxième main web site. There’s already someone in after the washing machine and I hope that the rest goes soon. Another day on this and everything should be on it, I hope.

But sorry about the parking again.

Tuesday 13th August 2013 – WE ARE NOT ALONE

No – Cécile and her mum breezed into town this evening. They made it as far as the Chaussée de Waterloo about 2kms away from here so I suppose that’s pretty good going. A quick phone call and I went off to rescue them. They took a while to find Brussels as I suspected, but neverheless it wasn’t too bad at all, everything considered.

I had another exciting dream last night, one that went clean out of my head the moment I woke up and that was hardly surprising seeing as how it was not even 06:30 when I woke up. When was the last time that I was up, washed, dressed and breakfasted and hard at work before 07:15, for no good reason at all? I bet that it wasn’t this year.

And what have I been doing today then,

A bit of desultory tidying up – I don’t want to give Cécile’s mum the right idea – and dismantling the giant wardrobe that someone is (hopefully) coming to pick up tomorrow early evening. But apart from that I have finally managed to find some on-line coding segments to add to my web pages to enable people to share them on various social media. You can see an example if you look right down the bottom of a page that I’ve already modified.

It’s not exactly what I wanted – I was really hoping for a hit counter as well for each button but that’s far too complicated for my *.html and *.css skills so I’ll have to deal with that another time. In the meantime I’ve added the button to about 50 of my … gulp …700 pages. I’ll be here for another 10 years doing the rest I reckon.

I found something similar for my blog, as you might have noticed. This does indeed have a counter but it doesn’t transport out of the blogging environment which is a pity. Nevertheless, you can all like my pages as much as you like and even share them with your friends if you want to. I know that I would, if I had any friends to share them with 🙁

Monday 12th August 2013 – THIS BLASTED ESTATE AGENT …

… is thoroughly and completely getting on my nerves now and I’ll be resorting to violence if we have much more of this, I promise you.

We were all at the notaire’s today and ready to sign up when the purchaser requested a six-week delay (usually a delay of 10 days) of the final act in order to confirm the acceptance of the loan.

Yes, that’s like forever, but he wasn’t willing to budge, that was clear, so I wasn’t all that bothered. So I’ll have to pay another month’s service charges on the place, but that’s a small price to pay.

I was confident that given 10 minutes with him afterwards I could have managed to persuade him to shorten his time scale no matter what he had signed up to.

But this blasted agent immobilier went on and on and on at him for about half an hour (and I had an attack of cramp while she was doing it) and wouldn’t leave him alone.

In the end I had to tell her three times to put a flaming sock in it. Then once the meeting closed she had another go at him, and then she had another go at him in the hall and then a further go at him outside.

I tell you now, I shan’t ever be doing any more business with her – it’s appalling.

We didn’t sign the compromis because yet another snag has surfaced. Marianne and I have told everyone that there’s a cellar included in the deal. And indeed there is, and Marianne (and now I) has the keys for it.

But nowhere in the deeds of the property is there any mention of the cellar. Maybe the owners of the apartments don’t own the cellars and only have the enjoyment of them, but that needs to be cleared up.

So this morning I had another exciting dream. I was part of a team of people going exploring, and we were on a kind-of converted fishing trawler on our way to some remote spot somewhere. But the guy leading the expedition was something of a martinet and at he first sign of dissent he sailed to the nearest port and offloaded the dissenter. I remember chatting to a young guy who was working on the deck above me, an open deck, and I climbed up onto his deck to have a chat, but he informed me that he was being put ashore at the next port.
The trawler had in fact turned back and after a while we sailed into a harbour in South Western Ireland just as three small Ro-Ro car ferries were leaving the harbour in line astern. We sailed up the harbour wall and onto the car park and across the car park to a building on the far side (it’s a dream, of course).
A little later I was driving a taxi with a woman passenger in the back. I was taking her somewhere where I was sure that I knew the way but at the end of the road (on the outskirts of Crewe) I couldn’t remember whether I turned left then right, or right then left. I went right then left and I was sure that it was wrong, and how I wished that I had made sure before I set out.

brussels belgium bruxelles belgique grand boulevard basilique de sacre coeur de koekelberg
So up long before the alarm, and into town. I’ve paid the outstanding property tax and that wasn’t without excitement. I also had to deal with some issues about Marianne’s succession –
Belgian Civil Servant “you don’t pay that here”
Our Hero “where do I go then?”
BCS “where it says on the letter”
OH “well you’ll have to tell me because you have the letter”
BCS “it says here (pointing) – Rue de la Regence”
OH “where’s that?”
BCS “I don’t know”
Further enquiry from a security guard (of an ethnic minority, not a Belgian) revealed that Rue de la Regence is the street at the side of the Tax Office.

Yes, you can’t make up rubbish like this, but everyone living in Belgium will tell you all about it. The whole lot of Belgians, especially Civil Servants, DiT shop workers and agents immobilier should be stood up against a wall, preferably at the tir national, and dealt with accordingly.

The same at the Post Office. I have an account at the Post Office, still registered at my Belgian address, and I want to change the address to France. Armed with a passport and French driving licence you might think that this would be easy, but I promise you that it isn’t.

She had to ask three different colleagues how to do it and none of them knew, so when she had a go on her own the computer system crashed. So that was that.

But it’s a good job that I went to my bank though. While I was activating my card (only one of them – I’ve flaming well forgotten to bring the other, haven’t I?) for Canada, the bank clerk noticed that my credit card had expired.

Luckily there was one awaiting me and so I picked that up and we activated it then and there, but by God I was lucky. I could have had a major embarrassment about that.

And then all of this flaming rubbish with the agent immobilier.

And Cecile and her mum are setting off for Brussels tomorrow. That means that, knowing Cecile, they’ll arrive some time in April 2016.

And in a master-stroke of organisation, they are taking the bus to Nantes and picking up Cecile’s car there in order to come here, rather than coming from door to door in Cecile’s mum’s car.

That means, of course, that they can only take back with them whatever they can carry on the bus rather than a whole car-load of stuff that is otherwise heading for the tip, and that defeats the whole purpose of coming here, doesn’t it?

Sunday 11th August 2013 – “WELL I’LL BE …

… a suck-egg mule”, as the legendary Arthur Hunnicutt said to John Wayne, Robert Mitchum and James Caan in the magnificent El Dorado.

As you all know by now, I used to work for a major pan-National organisation and I used to keep my finger on the pulse of what was going on.

As many of my former “workmates” are constantly in the news and as I know their fashion of thinking, I can usually have a pretty shrewd guess of which way the wind is going to blow.

Many of my predictions on these pages (although not all of them, I have to say) have been proved right and have truly come to pass.

And as you know, I’m going back through my blog right to the very beginning in order to tidy it up, and I discovered that back on January 1st I had made the prediction that you see about three quarters of the way down this page.

What price my predictions now, heh?

Anyway, I’m glad that I had to get up and go to ride the porcelain horse this morning, otherwise I would still be in bed even now.

Mind you, 10:45 am is a decent time to heave myself out of my stinking pit. However, I haven’t done a tap today, except to work on bringing another few early pages of my blog up to current standards and to correct the shortcomings in the importation.

I have however had to amend yesterday’s blog entry.

Annie, who lurks in the background, finally burst into the public eye today (hello, Annie!) to point out that Edith Cavell is actually buried at Norwich Cathedral. Yes, it was only the funeral service that took place at Westminster Abbey.

And so for tea, I had the usual Sunday offering of pizza and garlic bread, followed by humble pie for dessert (and we aren’t talking about Steve Marriott and Peter Frampton either).

In other news, Cécile and her mum might be coming to visit.

There’s tons of small stuff littering the apartment that is too time-consuming to sell and much too good to throw away.

It’s basically free to anyone who wants to come here and pick it up as long as they give me a hand to move stuff and load Caliburn with what’s coming back to the Auvergne.

Cécile’s mum has never been to Brussels and so it seems like a good idea for them to come, take away what they want, and give me a little hand too.

And in other other news, last night’s dream has mostly flowed away out of my memory but I do remember someone stealing the washing machine in mid-wash with all my clothes in it.

That prompted me this afternoon to have a shower and do a machine load of washing. That needs to be up-to-date too if people are coming.

Friday 9th August 2013 – WELL …

… this apartment might be sold (again).

Someone who visited it yesterday has made a written offer via a promesse ferme d’achat and, being fed up of things dragging on (and on and on and on) I’ve accepted it.

Of course, I’m not vending the peau of the ours before I’ve tue’d it. I’ve enough promesse ferme d’achats to wallpaper the living room, as you know, but it’s something at least positive. I just hope that it comes off.

But it wasn’t all roses today. I was just about to step into the shower this morning when the doorbell rang.

One of the people from yesterday wanted to take a couple of measurements. And then he offered what in th common parlance would be described as an offre bidon in cash underneath the counter, take it or leave it.

Of course he went out of the door with my boot up his nether regions. I hate people who totally waste my time like that.

And what with the fracas I forgot about my shower. Mind you it does remind me of that famous cross-examination in a British court in the 1960s during a trial on a charge of affray
Barrister “and you were kicked in the fracas?”
Witness “oh no – I was kneed in the bÛllÛcks”.

And so the amateur came round to make the offer and what should have been a 15-minute task turned into 90 minutes and more and in the end I had to shout at the agent immobilier to run off her battery of mobile phones so that we could flaming well do the flaming task that we had flaming well come here to flaming well do without a flaming interruption every 30 flaming seconds.

Rude, impolite, unprofessional, pig-ignorant, call it what you will, but it wasted everyone’s time and both the purchaser and I have better things to do than to listen to her on the telephone.

I’ll be glad when the apartment is finally sold and she p155es off.

But she didn’t go yet because she came back with 4 or 5 clients at 16:30 and was here until gone 19:00 and my day was totally ruined. I didn’t even have time to do any cleaning up and that annoyed me greatly.

Mind you, it wasn’t all bad.

I finished my magnum opus, all 41kb and 7700 words of it – enough there to keep us going for a lifetime I reckon – the second longest script I’ve ever written (apart from the Christmas Specials of course).

But there’s a lot to be said on the subject I’m discussing and there are some surprising issues that will have a few British people gripping the edges of their seats once we get well into the issue.

Apart from that, the Football Association of Wales, which features regularly in these pages, has shot itself in the foot yet again and has been humiliated in the courts.

Basically, the FAW expelled Barry Town from the league because the secretary tendered the resignation of the club.

However, the secretary doesn’t have the authority to do so – it’s only the owners or the Board of Directors who can do that and the secretary (who was formerly the owner) had relinquished control to the supporters earlier.

Nevertheless, the FAW accepted the resignation.

And despite all of the FAW’s pleading in court today, the judge ruled that “the FAW council had acted unlawfully in refusing the club full FAW membership and entry into the Welsh League in June this year” and that the FAW’s decision was “flawed and irrational”.

Yes, a right bunch of miserable pleaders, the FAW. Never mind anything else, it’s the members of the FAW Council who are bringing the game into disrepute if you want my opinion, and it’s high time that someone charged them with misconduct.

And so, in honour of the FAW’s achievements today in dragging Welsh Football through the mire and into the gutter, here’s Oliver Cromwell’s speech to the Rump Parliament, and as an address to the FAW, I couldn’t have put it any better myself –

“It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonoured by your contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice.

Ye are a factious crew, and enemies to all good government.

Ye are a pack of mercenary wretches, and would like Esau sell your country for a mess of pottage, and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money.

Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess?

Ye have no more religion than my horse. Gold is your God. Which of you have not bartered your conscience for bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the Commonwealth?

Ye sordid prostitutes have you not defiled this sacred place, and turned the Lord’s temple into a den of thieves, by your immoral principles and wicked practices?

Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation. You were deputed here by the people to get grievances redressed, are yourselves become the greatest grievance.

Your country therefore calls upon me to cleanse this Augean stable, by putting a final period to your iniquitous proceedings in this House; and which by God’s help, and the strength he has given me, I am now come to do.

I command ye therefore, upon the peril of your lives, to depart immediately out of this place.

Go, get you out! Make haste! Ye venal slaves be gone! So! Take away that shining bauble there, and lock up the doors.

In the name of God, go!”

Tuesday 6th August 2013 – I PROMISE YOU …

av jeanne ixelles 1050 brussels belgium bad parking august aout 2013… that this shall be the last time that I’ll mention parking.

So here’s a photo of two different vehicles well-advanced in front of the rear limit for parking, and this time a car parked here in the foreground and overhanging the pedestrian crossing.

What more can I say …“haven’t you said enough?” – ed

Meanwhile in other news, the first of the furniture has gone from the apartment. Nothing large or bulky though, but nevertheless it’s a start. I’m now €20 richer than I was before, so “spend, spend spend!”, hey?

But this blasted agent immobilier is thoroughly getting on my wick. She’s uncovered another problem now – that the monthly service fees are so astronomical that no-one will buy the apartment (and so she will lose her commission of course).

“I know they are” I told her. “Marianne was on a very limited income and so when the boiler was repaired in 2009 and the lift was overhauled in 2011 she didn’t have the money to pay her share”.

“Consequently the gerance of the building arranged two loans for her (and for other people too) for their shares and the monthly repayments are included in the service fees”.

“And if you remember “I continued “I mentioned this to the people who came this weekend and I told them expressly that these loans would be paid off at the sale and so they will have no implication for any new purchaser”.

“Well I spoke to your notaire and they know nothing about it” she wailed, and that angered me, her not believing a single word that I told her and her clients

“That’s hardly surprising” I retorted, “seeing as how my notaire is on holiday. You probably were put through to the teaboy.”
And on and on and on she wailed until I lost patience and told her to f*** off.

5 minutes later I had someone from the notaire on the telephone. “Will you tell that blasted Madame Blum to stop flaming well ringing us up every 5 sodding minutes about your flaming apartment. It’s getting on our blasted nerves”.

Yes, this stupid woman is the cause of more problems here than she solves.

Everything is a crisis for her, every reaction is a panic. She’s frightening away more customers than she’s recruiting, thanks to her attitude, and also with her business practices, about which I shall have much more to say at a later date.

But doing business with her is a nightmare. She is making problems out of nothing at all.

And apart from that, when I had the time (which as you can see, wasn’t as much as I would have liked) I did the two radio programmes for the Radio Anglais rock shows on Radio Tartasse.

I have to do two because I’m away at the end of September (I hope, unless there’s another crisis) so I’m recording two months’ worth at the end of August.

Tomorrow I’ll start to attack the rest of the programmes.

If the blasted agent immobilier lets me. What a shambles.

Saturday 3rd August 2013 – THIS PARKING THING …

bad parking avenue jeanne 1050 ixelles brussels belgium august aout 2013… is getting out of hand.

As you can see, we’ve changed the car in the foreground (and several times too) but there’s still a good 6 feet or so of wasted space behind it.

As for the car in the background, that’s not moved now for over a week I reckon, still losing half a car’s length of space.

But apart from that I was up at the usual time, breakfasted, and then started sorting out the books.

And I reckoned that my ship had come in when I spotted a copy of “Si on Parlait des Miracles?” and, upon opening the flyleaf, the author had signed it with a dedication to Marianne.

So hot-footing it to an on-line second-hand book shop, I was going to make my fortune.

However, there are about 50 of these copies for sale there, and erery flaming blasted last one of them is signed with a perishing dedication.

I’m surprised that the author didn’t catch writers’ cramp.

Ahh well.

So on with the motley and as I was preparing to go out and do some shopping came a ring on the bell.

The agent immobilier was back with one of the people from yesterday and all of his family – including a young kid of about 5 so Strawberry Moose was once more in his elephant.

Once they had all piddled off I went to the shops but I didn’t stay long, especially as I had forgotten my coolbox. And the rest of the day has been one of relaxing – I even made myself a coulis of kiwi and soja milk.

So tomorrow is Sunday and it’s a day of rest. I’ll go for a walk and say hello to Marianne, I reckon.

Wednesday 31st July 2013 – TODAY’S SUBJECT IS …

bad parking belgium july juillet 2013… parking

And how Belgian drivers don’t have a clue. If you look very carefully at the two cars in this photograph, you’ll see that the nearer one has under-run the parking line by a good 4 feet, encroaching upon all of the vehicles further down the street.

Consequently, when the vehicles in front of him change during the course of the day, someone will find himself 4 feet short of a parking space, in a street that already has quite a bit of pressure on parking.

As for the car in the distance, he’s encroaching by half a car’s length and you can see already that there’s a space in front of him that no car could ever hope to fill. The words “stupid” and “selfish” spring immediately to mind.

avenue jeanne 1050 ixelles bruxelles motorist receives parking ticket belgium july juillet 2013The outcome of this is inevitable and I didn’t have to wait too long.

Some other motorist in a hurry to go to the boulangerie or the newspaper shop across the road can’t find a parking place handy and so takes a risk by parking behind the other car, encroaching upon the zebra crossing.

And here’s a nice photograph of the driver having a “frank exchange of views” with the Council employee who has just given him a €15 fixed penalty ticket.

Yes, Belgians just don’t “get it”, do they?

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, after a disturbed night’s sleep during which I had a bad attack of cramp and also had to go for a ride on the porcelain horse a couple of times, I struggled out of bed this morning and wasn’t feeling much like it for a while.

However, I eventually came round and then attacked this web page that I have been promising myself. And here it is, in all its glory and all nicely finished off.

All I need to do now is instead of advertising each individual item of furniture etc, I just advertise the web page.

The prices are really all “best guess” because I don’t have much of a clue. If anyone has any suggestions, don’t hesitate to make them.

However, there’s no urgency. This place won’t be sold in a week. Despite telling the Agent Immobilier yesterday that he can ring me next week for visits (when this place ought to be tidied), his oppo rang me today insisting on bringing someone round on Friday.

So after I gave her a piece of my mind … “do you have that much to spare?” – ed … the conversation went something like this …
Estate agent “is it okay to bring someone round on Friday afternoon then?”
Our hero “yes, I’ll be here”
EA “what time?”
OH “whenever’s convenient. I’m not going anywhere”
EA “is 4pm okay then?”
OH “yes, fine”
EA “or what about 5pm then?”
OH “whatever suits you best”
EA “well, how about 4:45 then?”

Well, quite! No wonder that they are struggling.

The place will be a tip because I won’t have finished, but whoever will be coming will just have to make the best of it.