Saturday 15th August 2026 – ANOTHER DESPERATE DAY …

… at dialysis. Once more, the measure was set to go off the scale with excess weight that I seem to have gained since Thursday, but apparently, wiser counsels prevailed. Someone had made an error in the counting.

An error in the counting was the last thing that I needed, to be honest. Especially after the night that I had had. I was in bed later than I hoped, and that’s all that I remember from there. I awoke at some ungodly time – I’ve no idea what time because I couldn’t be bothered to look. But it was as the direct result of yet another extreme coughing fit.

At some point, I must have gone to sleep again because when I awoke, at 04:35, I was actually sitting on the edge of the bed as I usually do when I’m about to get up. So what had happened there? Was it yet another phantom alarm call that had gone off?

Not that it mattered because I was soon back to sleep yet again. And the next time that I awoke, it was 06:20 and quite dark.

When the alarm finally went off, at 06:29, I was already sitting on the edge of the bed with my feet on the floor, claiming an early start.

In the bathroom, I had a good wash and scrub-up in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant today at dialysis, and then I came back in here to listen to the dictaphone to find out what had happened during the night.

I was running the taxis again last night. I was sitting at home while the others were out working when the ‘phone rang, so I answered it. It was a guy asking me if we hired out cars by the day. I replied that we did, but only with a driver. He said that that was exactly how he wanted it, and what would be the charge? I wanted to know what kind of car and what work he’d be doing. He told me that it was maybe 350 miles, and an ordinary car like a Sierra would be fine. I told him that I’d have to ring him back, because what I’d do for a trip like that is to actually hire a car myself and go in that. There was a place in Stoke-on-Trent where you could hire second-hand cars. I went back down to the office and asked the girl at the ‘phone if she had put it through to me. She replied that she did. And she was busy trying to prepare another girl ready to go out. She said that she was having to go to some town in the Czech Republic to pick up a woman and bring her back. I said that if I had known that we had this job, I would have hired a car for that too. I went outside to help her prepare the car, and I told her how jealous she was that she was going on this, so she immediately said “do you want to go?”. (I’d missed out a bit here because she didn’t even know where this town was, so I told her that you get to Prague and then you keep on going towards Russia). I’d told her how jealous I was, so she immediately smiled and asked “would you like to do it?”. I thought “why not?”. I prepared one of the older Cortinas for it. I needed the lead for the SatNav and a few other bits and pieces, but no one could find the lead, so I went into my house, and it was on my desk in the office. I kept on having to run back and forth to find different things like the GPS, the telephone holder, all of that kind of thing. I kept on thinking to myself that one day soon, I’ll be able to set off if I’m not careful, because the delay in not finding things and people not being able to find them, and I was having to come back out to the car to look, it was taking forever.

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that we were in or near the Czech Republic the other day in another dream, the one involving the three white Volvo 144 estates It seems to be starting to become a regular theme with me. I wish that I knew why. It sounds really exciting to me.

But it’s been ages since we’ve had any dreams involving my indecision. They used to be regular, recurring themes at one time, but they seem to have disappeared, except for tonight.

Stoke on Trent was also a long-running theme at one time, but all of that had long gone too. But the taxis, they are always here with whatever weird kind of job they bring.

Isabelle the Nurse turned up today – her last day for three weeks, so no wonder she’s as pleased as punch. I wished her a really good break and holiday in Corsica.

After she left, I could make my breakfast and read some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

He’s been behaving himself again today, which is just as well. But it’s really boring for me when there’s nothing about his book to criticise.

Back in here afterwards, I had my notes from yesterday to type up. That took me longer than I was anticipating because of these attacks of tiredness that I’m having. But once they were finished and on line and everything else that I needed to do this morning had been done, I closed my eyes for a while.

It was 11:40 when I awoke, and that left me with twenty minutes to start a new project, and then I went into the living room to organise myself for dialysis.

As well as that, there was my disgusting drink and my midday medication to sort out too. My cleaner turned up as usual to sort out the anaesthetic on my arm, and once she had gone, I had to wait for the ambulance.

Mind you, I didn’t have to wait for too long. As my cleaner was walking out to the street, the taxi pulled up, fifteen minutes early, so she showed him where to go. He hadn’t been to pick me up for a while, and he was still thinking that I lived upstairs.

He was early because there was Madame Dinosaur to pick up, so I showed him how to get there. It’s complicated if you don’t know, and if you follow your satnav, you’ll certainly end up miles off your route.

Once Madame Dinosaur was safely on board, we set off in the queues of traffic to Avranches. And as we passed through the village of La Havaudière, at the bottom of the steep dip, the car full of tourists in front of us was “flashed” by the secret radar. The radar there must be bringing in a fortune.

We were early arriving in Avranches, which suits me fine because the quicker I start, the quicker I finish and the quicker I come home – that is, if I arrive at 01:30 and they begin the process of connecting me up BEFORE blasted 14:20.

There was football on the internet for me to watch this afternoon thanks to the FAW negotiating with BBC Wales Sport. This week’s Saturday afternoon match was Y Barri v Cardiff Metro, so I settled down in my hospital bed and made myself comfortable while I watched it.

This was an excellent match played with plenty of skill, and I quite enjoyed it. Y Barri were clearly on top, but we had to wait until the eightieth minute for the only goal of the game. And then, it almost didn’t happen.

Y Barri were awarded a penalty which Jack Shaw took. Former Port Vale keeper Aaron Davies saved it but couldn’t hang on. Shaw picked up the loose ball and hammered it towards the net. Again, the keeper got a hand to it but couldn’t hang on, and Daniel Smith, following up, finally headed it home.

After it had finished, I watched some more of the Cambrian United v Flint game from last week’s matches until it was time to unplug me from my machine. My driver was waiting for me when I went outside, and we would have been home quite early had it not been for all of the holidaymakers on the road.

One thing about dialysis, though, is this – can anyone remember the last time a doctor came to see me? I can’t. It must be a good three weeks and more since a doctor has examined me.

My faithful cleaner was waiting for me when I returned. She helped me into the apartment, sat me in a chair and bunged a disgusting drink into my hands.

After she left, there was football on the internet yet again, this time Sgorio’s broadcast of the Caernarfon v Colwyn Bay game.

Compared to the earlier game, this one was nothing but a slogging midfield brawl with very few moments of real skill. Caernarfon ended up as winners 3-0, but that was practically by default as Colwyn Bay offered nothing up front. Louid Robles had an excellent header and Matty Hill had a powerful shot at goal, but that’s all that I remember.

Yesterday, regular readers of this rubbish will recall the goal that Rhydaman almost scored when time seemed to stand still for a few moments. This evening, it happened again. The entire Colwyn Bay defence and most of Caernarfon’s attack stood frozen in time as Danny Gosset walked through them and drove a good shot into the net, putting his team 1-0 up.

After that, I made a start on my notes, but the heat, the punishing session at dialysis and the bad night yesterday had taken their toll. Round about 21:30, I called it a night and collapsed into bed, having posted on line what I’d written to date. I’ll finish the rest off tomorrow.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about time standing still … "well, one of us has" – ed … I remember a conversation that I overheard in the USA a few years ago.
"I don’t understand these time zones" said one man. "I’ve just come from Europe and today, it’s today there, but in Australia it’s tomorrow."
"You should worry" said the other. "Over here in the USA it’s still round about 1750"

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Friday 14th August 2026 – WHAT A BIZARRE …

… night that was last night!

It was one of those strange nights where nothing seemed real at all, and I don’t have a clue about what was going on.

Although I wasn’t feeling much like it, I actually managed to finish and post on line my notes from yesterday. I don’t know where I found that strength and energy, that’s for sure. And after the notes, I had a few things to do. It can’t have been much short of midnight by the time that I crawled into bed.

Once in bed, I remember nothing at all about going to sleep. Usually, I have some kind of idea as to whether I went to sleep quickly or whether it took a long time, but not last night.

Whatever it was, it can’t have been for long. I awoke because of another mega-coughing fit, but I couldn’t be bothered to check the time, so I’ve no idea what time it was. And then after that, I had no idea what was going on. I know that I coughed a lot, but whether that was in a dream or not, I don’t know

In the past, there have been a few evenings and nights where I was never really sure of when I was awake or when I was asleep, and this one was certainly one of the best examples of that.

One thing that I do know for sure is that I had another one of these dramatic awakenings when I sit bolt upright. Although it was dark, I checked the time and found it to be 06:19. Still dark! How times have changed over the last four weeks. Anyway, I took full advantage of this and had my feet firmly on the floor of my bedroom when the alarm went off at 06:29 so that I could claim an early start.

Having my feet on the floor is one thing, being up and about is something else completely different. It took me quite a while to negotiate my way into the bathroom to sort myself out for the day. But eventually I was washed and dressed, and I came back here to listen to the dictaphone to see what had happened during the night.

I was in the middle of Crewe with a friend of mine, and we were looking around at the shops. I was saying that when you live here all the time, you don’t notice the changes. Gradually, one shop moves, another one closes down, something takes over, and it keeps on going like that. But if, like me, you’ve been away from Crewe for well over thirty years, I immediately notice the difference. We were discussing this, and there were these two men standing nearby us, tall, blond and in raincoats drinking coffee. I happened to mention something about Eastern Europe, so this guy stuck a coffee in my hand, one of these two guys, and a piece of money. I looked at it, and at first I thought that it was Croatia, but when I looked closer, it was Poland. Anyway, these two guys had cleared off. The coffee that he gave me was disgusting, and I don’t know how anyone could drink it. Anyway, we carried on walking and we bumped into these two guys again. They told us that they had heard us talking about Eastern Europe, and one guy seemed to fasten onto me and the other seemed to fasten onto my friend. The one with me said “come with me,” so I followed him and we had a chat about different things and ended up in the police station. We went up several flights of stairs and at the top under the eaves were a few bedrooms. He asked me what I thought about this and I replied “it’s a little more comfortable than a cell, isn’t it?”. He had loads of interesting books and papers, and I was having a read of some of them. Then, he dropped the coffee that he had made all over his most important papers and had to run off downstairs with this paper to try to save it. Then we went back out onto the streets where he met a few people whom he knew and said “hello” to them. We were just walking around and walking around until we were out on the edge of the town. Then he said “come and meet my mother” so we went back into town and met the people to whom we’d been talking just now. He asked one “is she in?” and this woman replied “yes”, so he went into a building and I followed him, and we went up these creaking, rickety stairs, each stair having a huge flight to it. It was more like mountaineering than climbing stairs. He just walked into this dingy room where this little old lady was sitting. I followed in, and this woman had this old black cat. I stroked the cat and picked her up, and I began to talk to the woman about my cats.

The first part of the dream is certainly true. For someone who knew the town intimately after all these years as a taxi driver, every time I see a photograph of the town, I have to look it up to see where it is. Crewe is nothing at all like I remember it.

As for the two guys, even in the dream, they are the type of people who stand out a mile in any crowd and have “Police” written all over them. I wonder what their interest in my friend and me might have been.

And even now, I can see the interior of this dingy building, with all of the notices written by disgruntled tenants talking about the dangers of living in this building, the stairs being just one. And regular readers of this rubbish will recall that when I first came to Granville in 2017, I stayed for a week in a house that had stairs like that.

The British Government was planning on taking some kind of action against another country for some reason and was busy out there trying to drum up allies. I was with a friend of mine and we were having a chat about this, noticing that not a single country had rallied round to whatever cause it was that the UK was trying to fight, and the battleship that they had sent out to sea in an effort to make some kind of spectacle to attract the people was just sitting there in the open doom, I think. Then, it was announced that the Queen was going to hold a garden party at Windsor Castle on one of the days that this marine event was going to take place, so everyone was far too busy laughing at the complete failure of the British to actually go ahead and do something concrete about this

This story is somewhat along the lines of a discussion that I was having yesterday with the taxi driver who brought me home. Regardless of your feelings about Brexit (and mine are still as strong as they were in 2016), the days of the independent nation-state are long over. With aggressive globalisation and selfish power-grabs, you have to be part of a powerful economic alliance to survive these days, or the big boys will pick you off one by one.

I know that we were in our car planning to go somewhere, and we set out. My friend noticed that we had no warning lights whatsoever and wondered what else in the electrical circuit had broken down. I wanted to push on and get to where we were going, but he insisted on stopping to try to find out what this electrical problem was and to see whether we could repair it.

This story could relate to almost anything that I’ve ever done in the past involving motor vehicles. Back in the old days when things weren’t as strict as they are these days, I shaved all kinds of corners off the road traffic regulations and done other things that I wouldn’t even dream of doing these days

Isabelle the Nurse turned up to see to my legs and feet. She’d been doing her accounts last night because tomorrow is her last working day this month, and she needed my health card. However, because my 100% disability ran out at the end of July, the card was no longer valid. She asked me to have my cleaner sorted out today and she’d deal with my card tomorrow.

After she left, I went to make my breakfast, and while eating, I read some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Once again, apart from banging the drum for “England”, he’s steering well-clear of controversy today. That’s a shame, because I’ll have nothing to moan about.

Back in here, I had a few things to do, and then suddenly, I awoke and saw that it was 11:05. I must have dropped off to sleep without even realising it, and I’d been gone for about an hour. With the wretched night that I’d had last night, it’s no surprise that I’d gone to sleep again. However, it looks as if we’re having a return to the bad old days of pre-dialysis when I’d go off for an impromptu and unexpected sleep at the drop of a hat at any old time of day.

Once I was awake, I carried on with what I was doing, and when I’d finished, I attacked the radio notes, and despite the usual interruptions of a disgusting drink and midday medication period and the arrival of my friendly neighbourhood cleaner to do her stuff, not only had I managed to finish and have the notes ready for preparation, but I’d also found some time to sort out the next programme too.

The next programme after the one I did today is going to be a concert. I only have an hour for my radio programmes, and for this concert, I have almost two hours’ worth of music and introduction, and I need to cut it down to about fifty-eight minutes so there will be room for my commentary on the front.

So far, after careful snipping and editing, I’ve got it down to about fifty-eight minutes and fourteen seconds, and it will end up even smaller than that once I segue the five pieces of music that I have selected.

Then it was teatime, and the usual sausage, chips and baked beans with black pepper and cheese, followed by two of my slices of home-made fruit bread

When the tea things were cleared and washed away, it was time for the football. Airbus UK Broughton v Rhydaman. These two promoted sides are having very different fortunes in the JD Cymru League. Airbus seems to be doing OK – they’ve already beaten their points tally and number of victories from when they were in the league the last time a few years ago. Rhydaman, on the other hand, are struggling near the foot of the table with just one point.

This was another game played at a frenetic place where I ended up out of breath just watching it. And Airbus had a lovely spell of ten minutes, shortly before the half-time whistle, that I really enjoyed watching.

All in all, Airbus won 2-0, but that doesn’t reflect their superiority. They had two goals disallowed for offside and hit the woodwork three times as well.

Rhydaman also had a glorious opportunity. An attacker, just outside the penalty area, was in possession of the ball when the Airbus defence just froze. It looked as if the attacker had a week to make up his mind what to do with the ball and, in the end, his shot hit the woodwork with a shot so loud that you could hear it here in the apartment without the aid of a TV camera.

Even better, there are two live football matches to be broadcast tomorrow. Y Barri v Cardiff Metro – a win for the Mets will see them back on top of the table – and Caernarfon Town v Colwyn Bay. That game last season attracted the fifth-highest league crowd ever, and I imagine (or hope) that it will be another bumper crowd with the two best-supported teams in the league, only an hour or so away from each other, facing off against each other.

When everything had finished, it was 23:15, so later than usual, I headed for the hills. Here’s hoping that I can have a decent sleep for once.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about policemen … "well, one of us has" – ed … two policemen were called to investigate a shooting.
Shortly afterwards, they radioed back to the station "some old woman here has just shot her husband. Apparently he walked on the kitchen floor while she was cleaning it"
"Have you arrested her?" asked the dispatcher.
"No" replied the policeman.
"Why not?"
"The kitchen floor’s still wet"

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Thursday 13th August 2026 – THIS PHANTOM ALARM …

… thing is doing its job, right enough. It awoke me again this morning, and not once, would you believe, but TWICE I’ve no idea where it’s coming from or what it’s all about, but I suppose that I’ll have to just get on with it. Or, as I dictated at some weird time of morning –

This was another occasion where I was awoken by a phantom alarm. I actually went to switch it off before I realised. I’ve no idea what time, because I didn’t look, but it was certainly early in the morning rather than later, that’s for sure.

And then, to cap it all, a second phantom alarm went off just a couple of minutes before the real alarm did.

All of that was rather a shame because I needed all the sleep I could get. I crashed out well and truly last night, as I explained, and I still hadn’t returned to the Land of the Living when I crawled into bed. And although I was asleep quite quickly, it wasn’t for all that long before the “alarm” went off.

Once I realised that it was a phantom alarm, I went back to bed, but I couldn’t manage to go back to sleep. Although I must have done so at some point because of the second “phantom” alarm that also awoke me.

When the real alarm went off, I managed, after some not-inconsiderable effort, to raise myself from the Dead and head into the bathroom to organise myself. I had a good scrub-up and even a shave in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant this afternoon, and then I came back in here.

The first thing that I noticed was the temperature. Outside, at not quite 07:00, it was twenty-six degrees Celsius. Inside my bedroom, it was a mere twenty-five degrees centigrade. I opened the window and switched on the electric fan.

The first job, as usual, was to transcribe the dictaphone notes, which you have read just now, and then there were a few other things to do while I waited for Isabelle the Nurse to arrive. She was scorching already, especially as yesterday afternoon she’d decided to do her round on her bike. Granville isn’t the ideal town to go bike-riding, even at the best of times. It’s all uphill and down dale with no respite.

After she left, I could make my breakfast and read some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Today, he’s steering clear of controversy, although I must admit to not having taken very much notice because, as usual, I was dragged up several side alleys by remarks that he had made and which I thought needed a good deal of research.

Back in here, there were a few things to do and then I had to finish off the notes from yesterday. And once that was done, I closed my eyes for a little while and had a relax. I awoke at 11:40 thinking to myself “I really earned that”.

At midday, I went to prepare myself for dialysis, and my cleaner came around to apply the anaesthetic to my arm.

After she left, I waited for my taxi, and I didn’t have to wait too long either. She was early today, mainly due to the fact that we had Mrs Dinosaur to pick up. There was also a woman at the aqua-gym at St Pair, so it was a full car heading to Avranches.

We arrived early, which suited me fine, and what suited me even finer was that I was in one of the rooms nearest the front door. I was plugged in quite quickly too, but once more there was an excess of liquid to extract. Not very much more, so I just told the nurse that seeing as I was early, I’d stay for an extra fifteen minutes.

That seemed to work, but once more, we ended up with yet another world-record low blood pressure – a mere 6.3 over 4. This is becoming crazy.

Once I was plugged in, I watched the rest of the Cambrian United v Llansawel game. It ended up 1-1, and that was probably a fair result.

One thing that I’ve noticed though in the games at Rhydaman, Trefelin and Cambrian United is that we have proper old-time football fans, singing, chanting and hurling abuse at the opposition players throughout the whole ninety minutes, something that you rarely see these days now that the insistence on all-seater stadia has tranquillised the fans. I mean, since when has “polite applause” ever been any part of any football match?

In 2013, Trabzonspor winger Volkan Şen burst into tears and walked off the field after being on the receiving end of some abuse. But I’ll tell you what, and that is that I would go onto a football field and let the fans hurl as much abuse as they like at me for ninety minutes for just a quarter of what these players are being paid. After all, I used to be married, so I’m used to it.

The game that I saw afterwards was twenty minutes or so of Y Fflint v Y Barri. At the moment, it’s 1-0 to Y Barri so we’ll have to see how this match unfolds.

When I was finished, they unplugged me quite quickly, and my taxi was already waiting for me. It was a very interesting driver whom I hadn’t had before, and we had a good chat on the way home.

My faithful cleaner was waiting for me, and she helped me into the apartment, and I needed it. I flaked out in a chair, and she passed me a disgusting drink to cheer me up.

After she left, I vegetated for a while and then came in here. I couldn’t face any food this evening. While I was doing a few things, I was chatting to a couple of friends on the internet, and now that my notes are finished for the night, I’m off to bed. I need all the beauty sleep I can get.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about chatting to my friends … "well, one of us has" – ed … one of the conversations concerned a rather strange and weird statue that he had bought recently.
"Somehow, some strange things attract you like that" I said.
"Exactly" replied my friend
"Yes, I often wondered why Nerina married me"

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Wednesday 12th August 2026 – WE HAVE HAD …

… a partial solar eclipse here this evening.

Only a partial one, though. I reckon that the sun was about half-obscured by the moon, nothing like the total eclipse in 1999 that regular readers of this rubbish in an earlier version will recall that we went to see and photograph.

For many people, this eclipse today was a mind-blowing event, but to me and presumably everyone who was with us for those couple of days, it was a disappointment compared to 1999.

And seeing as we have been talking about disappointments … "well, one of us has" – ed … last night was something of a disappointment too. I was in bed later than I would have liked to have been, and it took a few minutes to go off to sleep while I sucked my menthol and eucalyptus sweet. And it wasn’t long before I awoke, although I have no idea of what time it was. I simply didn’t look.

What awoke me was another fit of coughing, and it carried on after I awoke. But then I remembered the second menthol and eucalyptus sweet, so I put that in my mouth. At that point, I began to cough, and, would you believe, I swallowed my sweet. That was a tragedy.

With nothing else better to do, I just lay there, trying my best to find a comfortable position, and that’s how I stayed until the alarm went off. It took me, as usual, a good few minutes to find the courage to stand up, but eventually I was in the bathroom sorting myself out.

Back in here, I had a listen to the dictaphone to find out what had been going on during the night.

I was with Seren and we were on the high school playing fields, and Vivienne was there. The three of us were watching a hockey game that was taking place. We noticed that one of the girls—in fact, a couple of girls — was not really of the same standard as a few of the others. One of them was the left-wing attack. At half-time, the coach came over to us and asked Seren if she wanted to play for the second half. She went onto the field when they started again, and she really did make quite a difference to her side once she was on there. When they finished, we decided that we’d head for home and have something to eat.

This is another one of those dreams that has a story behind it, but it’s a story that, right now, the World is not ready to hear. It’s something that is quite concurrent.

I’ve no idea why, but I can still see the ground even now. And it wasn’t the playing field at Buchan Grove as I expected it to be and where I once went as our school’s observer to watch our Grammar School girls’ team in a hockey tournament in 1972, but the playing fields at Shavington County Primary School where I spent six years and I didn’t even get time off for good behaviour.

Isabelle the Nurse turned up as usual. She was preparing herself for an inspection of some kind of food hall somewhere, and she described some of the things that she needed to do. I decided that I’d let her get on with it, without involving me.

After she left, I made my breakfast and read some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

And here we go yet again. He tells us that "in Normandy, as we shall see presently, English ideas probably prevailed, as was but natural, to a considerable extent."

Much as I hate doing it, I shall have to remind him that in the period about which we are talking, the Norman Conquest of England was quite a recent event, and thus it would seem to me that it was the Normans who brought over the ideas to England, rather than the other way around.

When he’s talking about various French cathedrals, he tells us that "we cannot fail to consider them either as direct imitations of English structures or at least as the working of a common element in the Norman mind on both sides of the water."

After breakfast, I came back in here. Outside it was already twenty-four degrees, and it was pretty much that in here. I made sure that the windows in here and the living room were fully open before I started work.

There were several things that needed doing so I did them to get them out of the way, and then I started on the notes from yesterday. They took longer than they ought to have done too, basically because, once more, these waves of sleep washed over me several times. Although I managed to stay awake and avoid crashing head-first into the desk like yesterday, there certainly were periods where my concentration disappeared completely.

Having finally finished the notes and posted them online, I began to think about the radio programme. There were still three or four pieces of music that I needed to find, so I spent more than just a little while hunting them down. And when I had everything that I needed, I chose the songs, reformatted and re-edited them.

Once they were all ready, I paired them and segued them. There was even time to start to write the notes before I knocked off for tea. That was a busy afternoon, that was. But, at least, the menthol and eucalyptus sweets had some effect on the cough, and I shall try them again.

During tea, which was rice with veg and a taco roll followed by pineapple and ice cream, it was gradually going darker and darker, and the sky was full of this grey-green light. It didn’t go completely dark as it had in 1999, which was a shame, but you could see that something unusual was happening. When I was going back into my bedroom to carry on work, one of my neighbours was just outside my window with his camera, on his way to find a good spec.

We had a good chat for about ten minutes, and he asked me if I would like to come outside for a view of the eclipse. He offered to help me. However, I declined because my bedroom is pretty well orientated. I only have to stick my head out of the window and I can see the sun setting over the sea.

And that’s what I did. And it was really bright, so I only looked for a second or two. But squinting my eyes, I could see the moon half-obscuring the sun, not completely as in 1999. So having seen it, I could carry on working. As I said earlier, I’m not going to celebrate this eclipse like we did the one in 1999. That really was something special

Back in here, there were a few things to finish off, and then I started to write the notes for the day. However, I’m not quite sure what happened, but after about half an hour or so, I seemed to have ground to a halt, and the next thing that I knew, I was sitting in my chair with the work unfinished and it was 22:15. I must have crashed out for an hour at least.

Once I awoke, I was in no mood to carry on with my work. I was wasted. And so I went to take my medication, rescue a few more menthol and eucalyptus sweets for the night, brush my teeth and prepare myself for bed. I’m not doing anything else tonight.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about swallowing … "well, one of us has" – ed … the film CARRY ON COLUMBUS received a few stinking reviews when it was released.

Incidentally, throughout these pages, you’ll see links to Amazon products appearing every now and again. Being a Sales Associate of Amazon, I receive a small commission on goods sold via my links. It costs you nothing at all extra, but helps defray … "part of the" – ed … cost of my not-insubstantial web hosting fees.

There are also links for AMAZON UK, AMAZON USA and, since the recent “troubles”, AMAZON CANADA for the use of my numerous Canadian visitors. As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … I am extremely grateful when someone uses them to make a purchase

Anyway, Carry on Columbus received some stinking reviews when it first came out, but, funnily enough, it’s actually one of my favourites.
One of the best exchanges in the film is when one of the young girls was leaning over the deck rails looking at the sharks in the water.
"I’d be careful there, miss" said one of the passing seamen. "They’ll eat you if you fall in that water."
"Would they swallow me whole?" she asks out of interest.
"I don’t think so" replied the man. "I believe that they spit that out."

0

Tuesday 11th August 2026 – FOR A LITTLE …

… while, things seemed to be going better today than they had been yesterday, not that that was ever likely to be difficult.

So having abandoned my notes last night, I was in bed by 22:00 or thereabouts, but it took an absolute age to go off to sleep, despite how tired I was feeling. And once I was finally asleep, it wasn’t for long. I’ve no idea what time I awoke, but the car park light was still on, so it was before 02:30.

Once awake, I lay there in a daze, drifting in and out of sleep from time to time and not being absolutely sure of which was which.

When the alarm went off, I was on my way to pick up an old American schoolbus so that I could start doing my round of delivering alcohol now that Prohibition has ended. But I didn’t get very far into that before the alarm awoke me.

A friend of mine, Rhys, who is a regular reader of this rubbish, actually owns an old school bus that he is slowly converting into a mobile home. And appropriately, his “day job” is driving a school bus for his local education authority in South Carolina, not that Prohibition figures all that much in whatever he does.

At that moment, I was feeling rather wretched, and as usual, it took me a while to summon up the energy to leave the bed and head into the bathroom. And having spent a lot of time sorting myself out in the bathroom, I came back in here to see what else might be on the dictaphone.

Some friends from school and I had decided that we’d go out for a Christmas meal, so someone had booked eight or nine places at this kind-of restaurant place. I remember going there last year for a Christmas meal, and it wasn’t very satisfactory, mainly because the menu wasn’t properly prepared and there were bits here, bits there and bits somewhere else, so I thought that this evening, I’d go to have a look at the menu. One of my friends came in with me, and there was another one waiting by the door for someone else. So we went to look at this menu, and sure enough, the twenty-second of the month, the menu still hadn’t been properly prepared. I was having to try to argue with the staff about whether “this” would be available on Christmas Day or whether “that” would be available and what other options they would have for someone whose diet is pretty restricting. But this restaurant was one of these ones that was always in the dark and gloomy, and it’s very upmarket with a pub bar right in the centre of the room. They are trying their best to run it as a pub and restaurant, but it’s going to be difficult to try to combine the two.

Where this restaurant is situated, I have no idea. It doesn’t ring any kind of bell with me. However, I have been to plenty of pubs and restaurants where hasty recruiting, crammed venues and an excess of clients, followed by a “certain group” of kids from our school who were determined to spike the enjoyment of as many people as possible, led to unsatisfactory Christmas meals.

Isabelle the Nurse zoomed in, and I told her about the confusion yesterday at the dialysis centre. She was frankly appalled by the laxity over the question of my weight. But then again, she’s a former accident and emergency nurse, so the rules about recording medication, etc., are obviously much more strict there.

After she left, I could make my breakfast and read some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Well, once more, I actually didn’t. I was again caught short and ended up reading page after page of research. Not that it brought me much nearer what I was hoping to find, but I hoped that I’d be making progress somehow, somewhere.

Back in here, there were the usual things that needed doing, and they took some time today. And then, when they were out of the way, I could start to make my plans for this radio programme.

One thing that I needed was some music, so I had to search in all the likely and then the unlikely places on the internet until I found it. And that took hours. Not in the least because between about 11:50 and 13:00, I crashed out completely and definitively.

Even worse, ten minutes later, I crashed out again, and my face slammed right into the keyboard and my desk. And how that hurt! But at least the flow of adrenaline that resulted from the crash seemed to awaken me, and I carried on from there.

One thing that I learned was that either yesterday or the day before, not once but twice, my web pages have been used as a reference to answer a question in ChatGPT. I forget now how many times that has happened, but it seems that my tactic of introducing well-known but long-forgotten facts from old books into the internet seems to be paying off.

At 14:00 I had a visitor. Madame la Présidente of the Residents’ Committee came to see me. Apparently she’s put her apartment up for sale and is moving to St Nazaire to be near her family. That’s a shame because she’s actually quite nice and I can’t ever thank her enough for tipping me the wink about this apartment coming up for sale. I was really grateful for her help.

She brought me some pineapple, which was nice of her, and she stayed for about an hour or so while we chatted about her move, life in this building, the new occupiers we’ve had these last few months, etc.

After she left, my faithful cleaner came down to do her stuff. First thing that she did, though, was to chase me into the shower. Showering these days is much easier than it used to be. Once she’s organised the fittings, etc., I can go in and come out of the shower on my own. I’ve managed that now for the last three or four showers.

Interestingly, the other times that I’ve come out of the shower, I’ve had to come out backwards. Today, though, without even thinking about it, I came out forwards and even dried myself standing up, without having to sit on a chair.

After my cleaner left, I went into the kitchen to make two bread rolls and then came back in here to carry on.

At teatime today, I had the other half of my broccoli stalk soup from last week, with those tiny pasta elbows and my two piping hot fresh bread rolls. And as usual, it was absolutely delicious. I really shall have to make some more at some point, although I need to start eating the florets. I seem to have gathered quite a mountain of those over a period of time.

Having been given some pineapple earlier, for pudding I had pineapple with homemade ice cream. And that was what I call ‘really delicious’ too. I’m hoping that it will be just as nice tomorrow evening when I can have a second helping.

After tea, I washed up and then came back in here to do some more work, and then I began to write my notes. I’d done about half an hour, I suppose, and then the next thing that I remember was that it was 22:15. I’d crashed out in my chair yet again.

When I looked at what I had written, it seemed to degenerate towards the end, and I was typing all kinds of nonsense that bore no resemblance to what had gone on. It was full of spelling mistakes and typing errors too. That was when I decided to delete whatever didn’t look right, post the rest online and then clear off to bed.

Falling asleep on the porcelain horse didn’t help much either, so it was quite late when I finally crawled into bed – much later than I’d been hoping. I’ll never catch up on my beauty sleep like this.

One interesting thing, though, was that regular readers of this rubbish will recall a few days ago that I wrote about menthol and eucalyptus. While I was rummaging around in the drawers in the kitchen earlier today, I came across a couple of packets of menthol and eucalyptus sweets that I bought years ago from LIDL.

When I went to bed tonight, I opened a packet and took a couple with me to bed. Once I was in bed, I put one of the sweets in my mouth and sucked it for what seemed like ages. And to my surprise, my coughing immediately subsided. This is something worth knowing and remembering.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about artificial intelligence and ChatGPT … "well, one of us has" – ed … I’ve been confusing my own chatbot again. As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … these chatbots have absolutely no sense of humour.
Last night, I asked my chatbot "what’s the difference between Nigel Garbage and Count Binface?"
My chatbot then set out to give me a huge list of differences, supported by evidence and links.
"No" I replied. "one is a comedy figure, a parody of a politician who has turned politics into a comedy show, who isn’t to be taken seriously and shouldn’t be allowed to stand for Parliament."
"And the other?" asked my chatbot.
"Oh, he’s a man disguised as a dustbin."

0

Monday 10th August 2026 – DON’T BE SURPRISED …

… if I fail to complete today’s notes before I’m forced to retire early to bed.

This afternoon, I have been to dialysis, as you might expect, and the nurse who dealt with me is one of the longest-serving nurses there. But she’s one of these “minimalist” people who does as little as she possibly can while still completing her assigned tasks. It’s quite true that her approach can save an awful lot of time, and for that, it should be applauded. However, it also leaves room for some glaring errors, and we’ve had one of those today.

And for a change, my luck was well and truly in, so I’m not complaining in the least. Far from it.

Last night was difficult, though. I was hours late finishing off what needed finishing, and it was well after midnight when I finished letting it all hang out and crawled into bed.

For some reason, it was really difficult to go to sleep, and when I finally did, it wasn’t for long, because at about 01:20, I was wide awake again. And there I was for a few hours too before I finally managed to go off to sleep.

When I awoke next time, I wondered what time it was. I thought that I’d better go and have a look, but just at that moment, the alarm beat me to it. It took a few minutes as usual to bring myself round into the Land of the Living, and then I headed off to the bathroom for a good scrub-up and even a shave in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant today. I have to do my best to look pretty, even if I don’t feel like it.

Back in here, I had the dictaphone notes to transcribe so that I could find out what’s been going on during the night.

We were doing some renovation work on a hospital. The original builder had not done a very good job at all. There were quite a few early mediaeval pieces of sculpture on show, and when we measured the dates with the periods, it seemed that there was plenty of ancient British craftsmanship going on between 375 AD and 450 AD. But when we wanted to know where this had come from, we saw that a message was posted on his page saying that it just came from various research following an investigation of the WORKS OF BEDE, which was no help at all. But then we were there in the afternoon, trying to take this wheel off this Land Rover, and he drove by, extremely closely, missing him by a couple of millimetres, I should think. We wondered if we should report him for the harassment of our diggings first.

You can see in this dream the influence of Charles Freeman’s book that we are currently reading and also my theory of ethnic cleansing by the Anglo-Saxons – about 450 AD was when the Anglo-Saxons began to arrive en masse.

There was something else about a film that we had been making, an old man and me. After a lot of time, expense and money, the film was about to see the light of day. The old man had now retired into the countryside, so I remember asking him if he was going to come up to London for the premiere or whether he was going to wait until it reached the local cinema near where he lives. He expressed some doubt or opinion as to whether the film would last until it reached any kind of cinema near him

There have been several films like that where they have underperformed so dramatically that they have been taken off general release before they have gone very far around the circuit. Probably the most famous of these is Stanley Kubrick’s A CLOCKWORK ORANGE.

Incidentally, throughout these pages, you’ll see links to Amazon products appearing every now and again. Being a Sales Associate of Amazon, I receive a small commission on goods sold via my links. It costs you nothing at all extra, but helps defray … "part of the" – ed … cost of my not-insubstantial web-hosting fees.

There are also links for AMAZON UK, AMAZON USA and, since the recent “troubles”, AMAZON CANADA for the use of my numerous Canadian visitors. As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … I am extremely grateful when someone uses them to make a purchase

There was a third thing about a girl who was playing football. She was right-back for some kind of team, but every time the ball came down the left flank, she would naturally gravitate towards the centre of the penalty are, which meant that out on the right wing where she had been, it was an undefended zone and the team was being cut to shreds through there

This dream is very reminiscent of a football match that I saw at the Stade Louis Dior in Granville. In this case, it was a male left-back who was being drawn inside, and just as I was discussing this with another spectator, a beautiful crossfield ball found the unmarked right-winger, who just cut inside and scored a simple goal.

Isabelle the Nurse came as usual, and she noticed my three new herb plants, now in jars of water. She was pleased that I was taking good care of them

After she left, I could make my breakfast, and while I was eating, I could read some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Well, in theory I could, but I was sidetracked up yet another blind alley, looking up obscure architectural terms. Some kind of glossary and maybe even pictures would have been a really great help with this book.

Right at the very beginning of the book, he told us "The present work is not illustrated ; there was at one time an intention of adding engravings, but the idea was relinquished, as to illustrate it completely was altogether out of the question, and a partial and inadequate illustration seemed even more objectionable than none at all …. But, though a complete illustration of the work would have been highly desirable, the way in which the subject is here treated renders its loss less objectionable than it would be in a treatise of detail, or a record of existing specimens."

All I can say on this subject is "you speak for yourself, Mr Freeman. You’re the author, but I’m the reader. A five-minute sketch of, say, a polygonal abacus or a vaulted clerestory would save me hours of research".

Back in here, there were the usual things to do, including checking the radio programme that will be broadcast this week and sending it off.

And once it had gone, I began to research the next radio programme. This is going to be another difficult one to complete as, once more, I don’t have all the music that I would like to use, and again, it’s all quite obscure stuff that might take me a week or two to find.

Round about 11:40, I’d finished the first part of it, and so, as a reward, I curled up on my chair for a relax. It’s a good job that I have an alarm set for midday on dialysis days, otherwise I would still be relaxing now.

In the kitchen, I sorted out a disgusting drink and my midday medication and then began to prepare myself and my things for dialysis. My cleaner came along to fix my anaesthetic, and after a brief chat, she cleared off, so I waited for the taxi.

And waited, and waited.

While I was waiting, I’d had a good sleep, which was nice, hunched up over the table, but I couldn’t stay all afternoon like that. I rang up the taxi depot to find out where my car was, and they replied “another five minutes”. Sure enough, five minutes later, he turned up. Apparently, they had given him a whole host of local work without the slightest of ideas as to how long it takes.

He made good time down to Avranches, but in the car park there was a plant shredder busily shredding away at branches they had cut down. We had to park almost in the road, and so I had an uphill slog of fifty metres on top of the long walk that I usually have to take.

There were no aides infirmières – “nursing assistants” – to help me today, so I had to find my bed all on my own, having first stopped off at the gentleman’s restroom.

With no one about, I weighed myself and then found my bed and sorted myself out. I put my weigh ticket on the temporary table underneath the bombe de froid – “cold spray” – sorted out my computer and climbed into bed.

And this is where it all went wrong. The weight that I’d recorded includes the weight of the clothes, etc. that I’m wearing so usually, the nurse knocks off eight hundred grams for my outfit, telephone, keys, etc. Anyway, she computed her figures into the machine and said “two thousand seven hundred grams to take off today”.

“Get off”, I thought to myself. “It’s never that much!”. I went through all of the calculations that I could, and I couldn’t come up with a figure of two thousand seven hundred grams, but not having the correct information to argue, I left her to it and the machine pumping away almost flat-out at nine hundred grams per hour. And sure enough, it wasn’t long before I was in agony. It’s hard work when the machine is running almost on “max” …. "”Max” in our hero’s case is nine hundred and fifty grams per hour." – ed …

Halfway through the session, I suddenly realised what had happened. I don’t recall her, or anyone else, asking me how much to deduct for my outfit. And when I factored in this eight hundred grams, the figures made much more sense. I still didn’t say anything, though. I’ll have a good head start for Thursday as long as they don’t realise what she has done.

While I was being dialysed, I was watching some more football from the weekend.

The first match was Trefynnon v Connah’s Quay Nomads. Trefynnon, newly promoted and thrashed 6-1 on the opening day of the season, played much better today against a team tipped to be up there in the fight for the title this year. They lost 3-1, and it’s true that the Nomads played the better football, but Trefynnon kept on pushing forward and had the Nomads defence in a panic on one or two occasions.

What was interesting about this was the size of the crowd for Trefynnon’s first home game in the Premier League. Once it was announced, hordes of locals began to appear, carrying big, big carpets to be cleaned for less than half a crown.

The second game was Cambrian United v Llansawel. Another new club to the league, the team from the Rhondda Valley impressed me last week in their match against Y Barri, and I was looking to see how they would get on today. I managed to watch about fifteen or twenty minutes of it before it was time to go.

The nurse dealt with me quite quickly, but she couldn’t stay and compress me, so she found some kind of clamps that would do the job too. And they worked. And when I weighed myself, I was indeed eight hundred or so grams under my dry weight. We’ll see how this impacts the Thursday session.

My driver was waiting for me – one of my favourite drivers – and we had a good chat on the way home. My cleaner helped me into the apartment and then pushed a disgusting drink into my hands.

After she left, I made some food – a cheese salad with rice and veg which was delicious – and then came back in here.

Fighting off waves and waves of sleep, I made a start on my notes, but I couldn’t keep going. After half an hour or so, I posted online what I’d written and then went to bed. The draining of this non-existent eight hundred grams has rather flattened me.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about losing weight … "well, one of us has" – ed … I once bought a lovely new dress for Nerina, but it was two sizes to small for her, so I left her a little note – "I’d love to see you in this"
When I came home from work the next day, there was a coffin in the living room with a little note from Nerina that said "Ditto".

0

Sunday 9th August 2026 – THAT WAS WHAT …

… I would call “a good Sunday” – that is, once the early part of it was out of the way, because the early part of the day was nothing at all to write home about.

As I mentioned yesterday. I abandoned my work early and fell asleep at my desk, and for quite a long time too. And when I awoke, I dragged myself into bed, and that was that.

Well, that was that until about 01:25, when I awoke, thanks to another good coughing fit. And despite trying my hardest, I couldn’t go back to sleep. I lay there watching the clock go round and round and coughing all the time while I was doing that too. But as the day slowly started to dawn, I must have fallen asleep again, for I was awoken at about 08:40 by the arrival of Isabelle the Nurse.

She’d brought with her some cuttings of rosemary, thyme and lemon thyme, and while she was doing my legs and feet as I was lying in bed, we talked about the herbs.

After she left, it took me quite a while to leave the bed, and after I’d sorted myself out in the bathroom, it was 09:20 when I found my way into the kitchen.

The first job was to prepare my breakfast – porridge, black coffee and the last two home-made croissants. And while I was eating, I was reading some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Or, rather, I wasn’t. As usual, I found myself running up a side alley to the church at Barnack to look at the tower and steeple, and that led me on and on to several other places too. As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … this was why I didn’t receive a very good grade from university – I was being continually side-tracked and spent more time learning the things that were important to me rather than the things that the examiner wanted to know.

Back in here, I had yesterday’s notes to finish off. That took longer than it ought to have done too because I was continually drifting off into that semi-consciousness when all kinds of hallucinations drifted before my eyes. However, they are online now … "the notes, not the hallucinations" – ed … for you to consult at your leisure.

Once the notes were out of the way, I had the dictaphone notes to transcribe.

I was with a former girlfriend last night, and there was something about going to hospital. And when she came back out, I built this big plastic greenhouse out of one of these kits that you buy from a DiY shop. It was absolutely impossible to anchor it to the ground with its plastic outer coating applied, so I tied two wires from front to back and two wires from side to side, and where they intersected, I dropped a row of paving slabs on it from the door to the inside, and the paving slabs held down the wire and stopped the greenhouse blowing away.

This story about my girlfriend in hospital and the plastic greenhouse and the unique method of holding it down reflects a remarkably similar situation that is currently or has recently occurred elsewhere in a different plane of existence than in a dream. However, this is yet another story that the World is not yet ready to hear.

There was something about an Indian, a young man who came round to me for some tuition in something or other, but in fact I ended up giving him some tutoring in English. There were things that he didn’t quite understand, such as “why is it ‘tutoring’ and not ‘tuting’?”. I did my best to explain and gave him a few other examples. He asked me whether it would be possible for him to come again. I thought “well, why not, if he’s keen and interested in learning?” so we agreed that this kind of tuition could continue for a couple more weeks and we’d see where we end up.

This sounds quite similar to one of the guys to whom I taught webpage design in Brussels twenty-odd years ago when all you have to worry about was HTML 5.0 and *.css. And these days, I’m still using them, with a little bit of IFRAME and JavaScript added on for good measure.

I was with a friend of mine, and we were walking around the edge of some city that I knew well. There were several big tower blocks there, so we went for a walk. One thing we found was a small cat trying to jump up to a window to climb into a house, so I went over to try to pick it up and help it, but at that moment, a woman opened the window, so I had a laugh and a joke with her and then moved on. In the shopping arcade underneath these big buildings, there were all kinds of shops that we were looking at, and we picked up one or two things from there. But round another corner was the Woolworth’s shop. I said to my friend “here’s something that I haven’t seen for years,” so he agreed, and we dug our way through the bombardment ruins and found our way into the supermarket. It was really nice and clean and small … fell asleep here … but my friend was talking at one time about us being in a hotel a while ago. It was one of these very posh places, and we’d been on a course of some kind. I’d been interviewed for something or other, so I was late returning to my table. The desserts had been cleared away, so I didn’t bother too much about that. In the end, they announced that they were wanting nominations for someone to be the hospital ambassador, I suppose, for the forthcoming year. But you can’t nominate yourself – you need six people to nominate you, so I decided to let nature take its course at that. I had a black Mk III estate, a 2000E, and I wanted to put that back on the road, so I wanted to do some work on it, but I ended up talking to two guys from the hotel. One of them wanted some documents signed, and the one who was with him, he ended up saying that my music was really great and that if anyone had any problems moving cars and leaving after the conference, they had a mechanic on site They would suspend paying the bill until the problem had been fixed. I mentioned all of this to my friend, and he told me that it was not really as simple as that. He’d had a problem with a motorbike, and what they had done was to push it off a trailer, left it for a while, started it up, told him that it was fixed and charged him €16:00. That made me go to think about if I were to advertise this car mechanics service, just explain that it was for basic things and nothing really major.

This housing estate could have been any one of a dozen housing estates around which I walked in Moscow and Leningrad when I was there with the coaches in the 1980s.

It could also be where I used to live in Brussels, where we did indeed have a little shopping centre on the ground floor of one of the blocks of flats nearby. However, there was no “Woolworths” in that shopping centre, neither in Moscow nor in Leningrad either.

The conference sounds like one of the Open University Students Association conferences, although we weren’t ever likely to be allowed to stay in an upmarket hotel. Not on your Nellie!

Once everything else was out of the way, there was football. I had the match from yesterday to watch, and when I went to restart it, I found that I’d only just about managed to watch half an hour of it, so I settled down for a long session.

There’s no doubt that Colwyn Bay played the prettier, more technical football, but there were plenty of nice touches from the Rhydaman players too. Rhydaman’s players were also the most aggressive, and although I’d left the match on Saturday with Colwyn Bay 2-0 up, by the time the game was over, it was 2-2 and some of the Colwyn Bay players were quite close to losing their cool.

Later on, there was a baking session. And something that I have learnt today is that my fruit bread doesn’t keep for much longer than a week. When I went to look at it today, at two weeks old, it looked as if it needed a shave, so it went the way of the west.

That meant as well as a loaf, I also had to bake more fruit bread. The two loaves that I ended up making look wonderful, both risen up like lifts. But what I’m going to have to do with the fruit bread is the same as with the ordinary loaf, and that is to cut it in half and stick one half in the freezer to pull out when the first half is eaten.

There’s no tea again tonight. I’m off to bed as soon as I’ve written these notes, backed up the computer, etc.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about herbs … "well, one of us has" – ed … I once lived in the same building as a girl who was studying for a degree in cookery.
One night she told me that her best friend had been expelled after failing her exams
"How come she failed?" I asked her.
"She had to cook a dish of fish cooked with herbs, but the examiner didn’t like it."
"Why not?"
"The examiner told her that this was neither the thyme nor the plaice for this kind of thing."

0

Saturday 8th August 2026 – THIS WAS ANOTHER …

… really bad day at dialysis, like all of them see to be becoming these days. More than enough things went wrong today to convince me that maybe I just ought to be doing something different. We even had a world record low blood pressure, if you think that the 68 a few months ago wasn’t low enough.

And last night, it didn’t help much either. After the football had finished, I wasn’t in the least bit tired, so despite what I had said on the previous day, I stayed up and wrote my notes, and then I put them online before finally going to bed a good few minutes after midnight.

Once in bed, I can’t remember going to sleep, and I can’t remember waking up either. It was simply a case of “why is it suddenly 03:30?”.

It wasn’t 03:30 for long because I must have gone back to sleep once more without realising it. And there I was at 06:29 when the alarm went off.

Once more, it was the usual struggle to force myself to my feet and head into the bathroom to sort myself out, but I had a good scrub-up and even a shave in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant at dialysis this afternoon.

Back in here afterwards, I had a listen to the dictaphone to try to find out where I’d been during the night.

Round about 04:00 we had another one of these false alarm awakenings. What made me realise that it was a false alarm was waiting for the second one to go off five minutes later, but it never put in an appearance. Nevertheless, I still awoke, thinking seriously that the alarm had gone off.

This is something of which I have no recollection at all. I know that I was awake at 03:30, but I suppose that I’d gone back to sleep when this dream happened

There was some kind of tournament going on, like the Welsh Cup. The draw had been made, but a lot was being said about the fact that some teams really consisted of just one good player and ten other ordinary ones. Those clubs had named their teams after the player rather than the club, so we had to go through afterwards and find which clubs they were and change their names back, although trying to find the last one was extremely complicated, and we didn’t manage to do that until just before the kick-off.

This is something that is presumably related to the latest news coming out of the Football Association of Wales this week, something to do with the fact that in the Women’s Welsh Cup draw, no fewer than 4 clubs have been included that don’t even have a ladies’ section, never mind a ladies’ team, entered presumably by speculating fans.

Isabelle the Nurse turned up as usual, her usual chatty, cheerful self. We talked about her garden, and that too has been devastated by the drought, including some plants that her father planted in his garden to celebrate her birth.

She did, however, say that some of her herbs were still going strong, and she’s promised me a few offcuts of rosemary and thyme for my little aquaculture project.

After she left, I made my breakfast and read some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Today, he has Augustus Pugin, the celebrated architect who led the “Gothic Revival” in the UK in the 1840s and 50s, firmly in his sights. "Surely then the segmental arch, which springs from the jamb at a sharp angle, is both more horizontal and less elegant than the four-centred, in which the angle is rounded off”, and the arch in the best specimens rises as gracefully and gradually as the simple pointed. Above all things it cannot be consistent in Mr. Pugin, who in his own buildings employs the segmental arch usque ad nauseam, to speak of the four-centred as a sign’of debasement. At the same time it is undeniable that the four-centred arch was in the last days of Perpendicular applied where it should not have been, just as the segmental was sometimes, though less frequently, at an earlier time."

Back in here, I had a few things to organise, but somehow, I managed to run out of time before I’d even started work. My midday reminder rang so I had to go into the other room and sort myself out with the laptop and other things that I need for dialysis, put on my shoes and sort out a disgusting drink with the midday medication.

My cleaner put in an appearance too. She applied the anaesthetic to my arm, and we had a little chat about this and that before she went back to her own apartment. I curled up in a kitchen chair, slumped over the table, and went immediately to sleep.

When the taxi arrived, ten minutes early, I was in such a deep sleep that I didn’t know where I was when I awoke … "nothing new there" – ed … and I was quite unsteady on my feet for a few minutes. My driver was a Ukrainian refugee and came to pick me up in a B-class Mercedes. The taxi company that I use has recently taken over another company in a nearby town, and this is one of their vehicles. It makes a change to travel in luxury rather than a base-model Skoda Octavia.

We had to go to pick up Mrs Dinosaur from her exhibition (even some of the taxi drivers are now referring to her as Madame Dinosaur) but even so, we were still a few minutes early. I had to wait a little while to be connected, but by 14:15 I was up and running, with the machine once more nearly on “flat-out”.

There were doctors on duty today, but while they went to talk to some of the patients, they seemed to be deliberately steering well clear of me. I wonder what it is that they don’t want to tell me. I could crack on and watch a football match that I hadn’t quite finished the other day, and then I began to watch Rhydaman v Colwyn Bay.

That was a match that I was hoping to finish today, but I crashed out long before half-time, and so that was that. But my sleep didn’t last for long. Firstly, the “low blood pressure” alarm was going off constantly and at one stage it had dropped to a new world record low of 67. And that’s with a pressure booster too. God knows what it would be like without one.

And then, we had the needle failure. It didn’t actually fail completely, but the alarm was saying that the pressure was not reaching what it was supposed to be. The nurses suspected that there was a blood clot forming in the needle and they tried everything that they could to free it, but it was back again by the time the next check was performed – and so on after that.

In the end, there was no choice but to abandon the session, and so, ten minutes before the appropriate time, with a couple of hundred millilitres of excess fluid still on board, that was that. I was hoping that at least I’d be down to my relevant dry weight, but no such luck.

My nurse unplugged me quickly, which was good, but I had to wait ten minutes for my taxi to arrive. And once it arrived, we had to go to the taxi depot to change car and driver, and so all the time that I had gained over the course of the afternoon disappeared by the time that I returned home.

My cleaner helped me into the apartment, for which I was very pleased because I wouldn’t have done it on my own. She gave me a disgusting drink and then left me to it.

Once I’d managed to find the energy, I came back in here to write my notes and maybe watch some more of the football, but it didn’t work out like that. I could feel myself becoming more and more tired and more and more ill, and soon afterwards, I gave up the struggle and posted online what I had managed to write so far.

After that, I’m not quite sure what happened. However, at something like 23:00, I awoke, curled up comfortably in my chair, and how surprised was I? I didn’t even remember falling asleep. At that point I just slid over onto the bed and fell in. I hadn’t even switched off the computer, as I discovered later.

Silly me was thinking that I was so tired that I’d fall straight asleep, but unfortunately it took me a while, and that’s something I can’t understand at all, seeing how tired I was. But in the end, I managed to go to sleep, wishing that I’d gone to bed a darn sight earlier than this.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about Mercedes taxis … "well, one of us has" – ed … an old woman hopped into a Mercedes taxi. She looks at the Mercedes emblem on the bonnet and asks the driver "what’s that for"
"Well," said the driver, thinking that he can have some fun with this old lady. "that’s my sighting device. If I want to move a few pedestrians or cyclists out of my way, that’s what I use for sighting them. Watch!"
The driver swerves towards a pedestrian walking along the side of the road but at the last minute swerves away. However, he hears a loud “bang” from the back of his car.
"That sighting device of yours is rubbish" says the old lady. "We’d have missed him completely just then if I hadn’t got him with my door."

0

Friday 7th August 2026 – AFTER YESTERDAY’S DISASTERS …

… today is ,somehow, slowly returning to normal, although I do have to say that I haven’t been working very hard … "if at all" – ed …

But seriously, you’ve no idea how bad I was feeling yesterday evening, and as I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … sleep is my favourite medicine at times like this, so at some ridiculously early time last night when it was still broad daylight outside, I simply went to bed.

The plan was that I’d go to bed, then wake up in about an hour and carry on as usual, but it wasn’t to be. It was 01:30 when I awoke again – a five-hour sleep, which is the longest that I’d had for a while. And although I remained awake for a couple of hours, it didn’t take much effort to go back to sleep again afterwards.

When I awoke, it was still fairly dark, although dawn was beginning to break. But then the alarm went off a couple of minutes later to tell me that it was now 06:29. I couldn’t believe how dark it was compared to even a week ago when 06:29 was in bright sunlight. The nights are definitely getting shorter.

As usual, it required a huge effort to motivate me to stand up, but at least it wasn’t like yesterday, where I was physically unable to do so. I didn’t have any such problems today.

After I’d sorted myself out in the bathroom, I came back in here to listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night.

It was a very scattered dream about dialysis last night and having to go there and there was so much water to take out and I had to stay for hours, but we didn’t know how it would fit in and all of that sort of thing but I can’t remember it really and a lot of it has evaporated

By the looks of things, yesterday’s events at dialysis have become something of a preoccupation of mine, but one thing that I did wish was that a lot of yesterday’s water, not last night’s dream, had evaporated before I reached the dialysis clinic.

I was with my father, and we had MY A60 VAN. We were trying to get some bits for a Ford Sierra, like a door. He’d tried one or two places on a Saturday morning and had had no luck. He asked me if I knew of anywhere, so I told him of the three or four places that might. He said that we need to go on one of these big expeditions to look for all the bits. But it was getting rather late now, and anyway, I ended up in London with my brother and one of my sisters. And my mother was with us too, or it might have been my elder sister. She had a whole lot of shopping to do, so we moved out of the way so that she could go to the counter. I went to sit on a bus to get my strength, but suddenly, the bus pulled out and I was trapped on it. I made myself comfortable and began to listen to music on my telephone. Then I took the battery out of the hi-fi player or whatever and put it into the telephone and called up. My younger sister vaguely answered, so I said where I was in case they could receive me and that I would be getting out in a couple of minutes. I’d wait for them at this bus stop, and they should bring a few things in between. I was waiting there, and I heard my younger sister call me, so I went to answer her back, but I dropped the radio and one of the memory sticks broke and the keyboard needed pressing back in and a few other things. As it happened, the memory was the same as some that I happened to have in my pocket, so I was able to repair the computer. I talked to my sister, and she and the other person turned up and we began to walk towards London.

Somehow, a big bunch of my family seems to have found its way into yet another dream. At one time, they were coming along quite regularly as bit-part actors doing their best to spike whatever good luck I might have been having. Last night, they seemed to be playing a rather substantial role. I wish that they wouldn’t because I can do without them making any kind of appearance at all.

The part about the bus driving off relates to an incident on the London Underground when I was there with Liz (“that Liz”, not “this Liz”) and she stepped onto a train just as it pulled out, leaving me standing there on the platform like Piffy On A Rock. However, it didn’t faze her at all – she simply got out at the next station and waited for me.

The part about the mobile ‘phone, two-way radio or computer or whatever doesn’t seem to relate to anything, although if anyone is ever likely to be walking around with a memory stick in his pocket, it would be me. There’s one permanently attached to my key ring, in fact.

Isabelle the Nurse turned up slightly later than usual. She asked how I was, so I told her about yesterday. Her response was "take it easy and have a good rest". Perhaps I’m talking to the wrong people, but if the doctors at dialysis won’t come to see me, what can I do?

After she left, I made my breakfast and read some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Or, rather, I didn’t. I went off on a tangent again researching Ely Cathedral, of which I have a pile of photos taken a long, long time ago, long before digital cameras ever came into existence, and then, as Nansen once said, "the more extensive my studies became, the more riddles I perceived – riddle after riddle led to new riddles, and this drew me on". I’ve no idea where I ended up, but it was somewhere in a range of early Anglo-Saxon kings.

Nevertheless, I did stay with him long enough to read "Every one must have admired the sweep of the elaborate architraves in which those mouldings are best displayed, with rounds and hollows succeeding in an almost endless series, wave over wave ; hollows cut with such careful and laborious workmanship, that the round is attached only by a narrow isthmus. When we come to two or three such hollows filled with the bold projecting tooth-ornament, and the same exquisite decoration filling up the space beween the marble shafts below, standing forth in the perfect beauty of band, and base, and floriated capital, all distinct and yet combining together : we may safely say that we have found the perfection of mere workmanship and detail, among the countless forms of grace which art has supplied for the admirer of pure loveliness to revel in". I shook my head in disbelief.

Back in here, I had a few things to do, and then I started to write the notes from yesterday. And that took much longer than it ought because I was busy fighting off wave after wave of sleep yet again. However, I managed to keep going, although, as the Duke of Wellington said after the Battle of Waterloo, it was "the nearest run thing you ever saw in your life.".

When I’d finished, I went into the kitchen for a disgusting drink break and the midday medication, followed by a peach. I’d almost forgotten that I’d ordered half a dozen of those from LeClerc two weeks ago.

This afternoon, I’ve been weeding out my mailbox. There are tonnes of stuff that don’t need to be there, and so they have gone the way of the west. And I’ve also found some e-mails to which I haven’t replied, one going back a couple of years. I’ve replied to one or two, and I’ll get round to the rest over the weekend.

There were, however, a couple of interruptions. First, my faithful cleaner came in to do her stuff.

Secondly, Rosemary rang me for a chat, but only a brief one today – forty-five minutes. We are definitely losing our touch. But she’s struggling in the heat and her vegetable garden is ruined. The water table where she lives has dropped so low that she doesn’t even have any water in her well.

Later on, after another disgusting drink, I went to make myself some tea. Tonight, it was chips, baked beans (with cheese and freshly ground black pepper) and vegan sausages. And as usual, it really was delicious.

Back in here later, we had football. Airbus UK Broughton v Cardiff Metropolitan. The Met had risen to the top of the pile after last weekend’s 6-1 demolition of Trefynnon, but newly promoted Airbus can be pleased with their 1-0 away victory against Hwlffordd, the first time a newly promoted side has won away from home on the opening day of the season for nineteen years.

Airbus were at home so, while watching the game, we were distracted by the aeroplanes taking off and landing from the airport behind the pitch, but this was a game that I wanted to see because of how the teams played last weekend.

The first half was played at a tremendous pace, and it took a really wonderful strike from the Met’s Ryan Reynolds to separate the teams at half time, although George Peers had earlier missed a sitter for Airbus.

Airbus had even more of the game in the second half, but they were hit by a sucker punch just a minute or two before the final whistle that summed up their entire game. One thing that I do have to say about this match, though, was that the quality of the crosses was total rubbish. For Christ’s sake, put them in the air!

Anyway, right now, I have a few things to do and then I can go to bed. I need a beauty sleep before I go to dialysis tomorrow.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about buses … "well, one of us has" – ed … two girls from Crewe were waiting at the bus station trying to work out which bus they needed.
"Excuse me sir" they ask a passer-by "which bus goes to Middlewich?"
"You want number 31" he told them.
An hour later, the passer-by walks back past the bus station and sees the two girls still standing there. "Didn’t you find your bus then?" he asked them.
"Not exactly" said one of the girls. "We’re only up to number 26. Five more before ours comes in."

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Thursday 6th August 2028 – WHAT A HORRIBLE …

… day this has been. I really and honestly feel that my health has taken one or two steps back today. I hope that it isn’t permanent because I can do without this kind of worry at the moment.

It all began to go pear-shaped last night when I was in bed by something like 22:00. It’s rather unusual for me to be this early, as regular readers of this rubbish will recall, but at least it shows that I know that I have a problem and want to deal with it.

As usual, I was asleep quite quickly, but once more, at about 02:30, something awoke me. I reckon that it must have been something outside, because I’d left the bedroom window open all night, it was so warm.

From then on, I was drifting into and out of sleep for the rest of the night until the alarm went off, and I was definitely asleep at that moment.

When it came to standing up, I was shocked, surprised and dismayed to find that I couldn’t do it. I don’t know where all my strength had gone, but I couldn’t haul myself upsright with my hands and arms. It took me three or four goes before I found enough strength.

Walking was extremely difficult too. I was totally unsteady on my feet, and I felt as if at some point, I was going to topple over like I did BACK IN JANUARY, but slowly and surely, I made it into the bathroom for my wash and scrub up, and a shave in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant this afternoon.

Back in here, I listened to the dictaphone to find out what had gone on during the night.

There was a football match on somewhere, and a group of us, including Nerina, decided that we’d go. We walked down towards the ground, and across the road was one of these sweetshops. One of our company wanted to go in so we all went in. She was looking for some of these menthol or eucalyptus sweets, and they had almost everything in this shop except that. Then we carried on down to the football ground, and at some point, I was asked if I would run the line for the game. I’d done it before so it wasn’t going to be of any problem, but in a fairly large crowd, how am I going to get people out of the way while I run up and down? We arrived at the ground and I noticed that that problem had been solved because between the spectator barrier and the pitch, they had put up another kind of barrier, which wasn’t very wide, but I imagined that that was where I was supposed to be. We began to talk, this group of ours, but suddenly I noticed that the match was under way so I had to hurry and get myself in the correct position

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that I ran the line … "actually, like Johnny Cash, he walked the line" – ed … on several occasions when I travelled with FC Pionsat St Hilaire’s third team back in the good old days. I wish that I could do it today, but see the above. In any case, I don’t know why they would recruit an amateur linesman for a match with a big crowd. The only time I’ve run the line in front of a four-figure crowd was when it consisted of one man and three sheep.

Apart from that, though, I couldn’t ever imagine Nerina being interested in a football match under any circumstances, but like any of us, the menthol/eucalyptus sweets would be nice. In fact, I wouldn’t mind a packet right now.

Isabelle the Nurse turned up as usual. I mentioned how I was feeling, and her response was “oh dear. Make sure you take it easy”, which was not the kind of casual response for which I was searching. In fact, I had advice from my AI chatbot later that was more useful.

By the way, did anyone actually make their AI chatbot after I posted the instructions on here? How did it go?

After Isabelle left, I made my breakfast, and while I was eating, I read some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Today, his complaint is about segmented arches, which he considers to be "aesthetical errors just as great, and no greater, than similar uses of the segmental arch at Romsey and Salisbury." and that "they throw a lateral instead of a vertical thrust on the piers ; hence as pierarches they should be avoided".

The segmented arch, a favourite principle of Roman and Islamic design, was used slightly later than Freeman’s book as the principle method of building a great many railway bridges, most of which are still extant today, long after it was anticipated that they would be replaced and carrying loads vastly in excess of what was thought to be their limit at the time.

Back in here, I had yesterday’s notes to finish and then a few other things to do, and all of that took me up to midday when it was time to go and make myself ready for dialysis. That started with a disgusting drink and my midday medication, followed by sorting out the laptop and putting on my shoes.

My faithful cleaner turned up as usual to apply the anaesthetic on my arm. She didn’t have all that much news to bring me, except that the local supermarkets are rapidly selling out their stock. It seems that we are being hit by a record number of tourists right now.

The taxi turned up ten minutes early because we had to go to pick up someone else. And not Mrs Dinosaur either, but someone in the Avenue du Maréchal Leclerc who was also going to Avranches.

Incidentally, it seems that the taxi drivers are now referring to “Madame Dinosaur” these days. It seems that I’ve started a fashion here.

We arrived early and I was dealt with almost straight away. By 14:05 I was up and running. However, the bad news was that there was an excess of fluid. "I’m afraid that we’re going to have to send you home 400 grams over your limit." said the nurse.

“On no you aren’t” I said to myself. Not if I can avoid it. "Seeing as I’ve started early, why not prolong the session?"

In the end, we agreed on three and a half hours, which meant that the machine was operating just under full capacity and I could watch the rest of the Barry Town v Cambrian United game from last weekend.

It wasn’t as easy as that, though. I saw Emilie the Cute Consultant in the distance but she sent the holiday relief doctor to see me. However, there wasn’t much that she could do for me.

And then there wasn’t much that anyone could do about the loss of arterial pressure in one of the needles in my arm, and every two minutes or so, the alarm would sound, bringing the nurses running. Consequently, although I saw the Barry – Cambrian game right through to the end, I didn’t see as much of the Colwyn Bay v Trefelin BGC match as I would have wanted.

When it came to unplugging me, the nurses were there straight away, which was nice. They dealt with me quite rapidly, and, even better, the driver was already waiting for me. And more good news was that I left dialysis 100 grams UNDER my usual dry weight.

However, I was totally finished. It was a really hard drag to walk to the car and I was feeling awful. It was also the young, chatty driver whom I like and who, usually, I would have been very pleased to see. However, all I wanted to do was sleep, and I doubted that that was possible.

When I arrived home, my faithful cleaner was there to help me into the apartment, and she bunged a disgusting drink into my hands. I was glad about that too because I certainly needed something to keep me going.

After she left, I came back in here to write my notes, but it was useless. I was really tired, falling asleep, and couldn’t even think coherently … "nothing new there then" – ed … so I posted a terse note on my blog and went to bed with no tea. Maybe I’ll feel better in the morning.

Tomorrow, though – Friday, that is – there probably won’t be a blog entry. I’ll have to do it on Saturday morning. With the football being in full swing now and kick-off now at 20:45, the game won’t be over much before 23:00, and all that I shall want to be doing at that time is to be going to bed.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about me as a linesman … "well, one of us has" – ed … a football fan was in court charged with assaulting the linesman.
The judge asked him "Are you sure you only threw tomatoes at the linesman?"
"Yes, M’Lord" he replied.
"So how do you explain the cuts and bruises on his face?"
"Well, M’Lord, the tomatoes were still in their tins at the time."

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Wednesday 5th August 2026 – IT HASN’T BEEN …

… as good a day today as it was yesterday, unfortunately. Mind you, it’s been a better day than many a day that I’ve had just recently, not that that’s particularly difficult, all things considered.

Last night wasn’t any better, though. It was once more after midnight when I finished letting it all hang out and went to bed, looking forward to a nice long sleep.

Or so I thought, but 02:20 wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. But there I was, wide awake. However, from then on, it was me drifting slowly in and out of sleep, not knowing which was sleeping and which was waking. But I was definitely asleep when the alarm went off at 06:29, because I couldn’t remember where I’d put my telephone so that I can switch it off … "it’s on the bedside table in the alcove behind the head of the bed" – ed …

Once I’d remembered where the alarm was, I switched it off, and then we had the usual struggle for me to rise to my feet and go to sort myself out in the bathroom. It’s becoming ridiculous these days, the time it takes me to stand up.

Back in here after a good wash, the first thing was to listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night.

I was back in Wales last night, and I’d signed up for the local football club to go training with them to keep fit. On the first night, I’d brought with me my cousin, who plays for Gresford Athletic in the Second Division. So we were doing this keep-fitting together. One day he happened to mention that he was now without a club, and would this team be likely to want to sign him? They gave him a couple of provisional matches, and I could see from what he was doing that he was probably several divisions above the kind of players who were playing for our club. I replied, therefore, that I’m sure that they would, but they kept on dragging their heels about it and I couldn’t understand why, and I didn’t think that it was particularly clear to this lad who was hoping to have this trial … fell asleep here … I’ve just dropped the dictaphone … so I had a bit of a complain to the people in charge, and they began to make a little more use of him in the football team, but the dream ended suddenly because round about 02:20, I had another one of these dreams, dreaming about the bedroom window being left open all night, and so, as I say, there was this sudden alarm going off that awoke me, except that the alarm didn’t.

The main theme to this dream does make some sense to me. A player who had played in the Premiership and Championship of the English pyramid but who had been sacked due to “issues unrelated to the football field” had been signed by a club in tier two of the Welsh pyramid. He was obviously in a class well above that at which he was playing, but it all ended pear-shaped when he left the field one day in a Black Maria. A player of the same name has just signed for a tier two side, and the club is refusing to tell me if it’s the same player.

The bedroom window was open all night, by the way, but the waking up with the alarm is also something that is happening everywhere these days, and I’m hoping that I’ll manage to avoid having a head-on collision at sea. But whatever made me add that in, I don’t know.

Falling asleep and dropping the dictaphone was a short route to a tragedy, and I wish that I knew how it ended. However, I’m glad that I slipped back into that dream later, even though I didn’t go very far.

Isabelle the Nurse came round as usual. As she was dealing with my feet and legs, she told me to take it easy today. Very little chance of that, I’m afraid. I have plenty to do.

Such as to make my breakfast, as I began to do as soon as she had left. And while I was eating, I was reading some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Once again, as he expounds away at his favourite Gothic period, explaining in minute detail the difference between Early Gothic, Fantasy Gothic and all of that, he’s managing to avoid real controversy. However, I don’t imagine that it will be too long before some creeps in somewhere.

Back in here afterwards, there were a few things to clear up and then I began to work on the notes for the next radio programme – a concert. And that wasn’t as easy as it was supposed to be. I had plenty of information about the group – they are one of my favourites, and they have been around and about on my radio broadcasts since the beginning. However, the venue is pretty much unknown so we were even poring over old maps to find some information.

Eventually, though, I managed to write enough, and so that programme is ready for dictating.

While I was at it, I came across another concert that had taken place a few weeks later at the same venue. I discovered a sound track for it in the big box of cassettes that I have, and although there are a few holes in it, I reckon that I can patch it up enough.

It’ll need some re-editing and some remixing too before it’s fit to be broadcast, but I have about three years to deal with that before the date of its broadcast falls on a Friday.

We had the usual interruptions, such as the break for the disgusting break and the midday medication, and I also crashed out for an hour or so too, which is no surprise given the night that I had had.

When everything was finished, round about 16:30, I went into the kitchen. Included in the order from Leclerc the other day was a broccoli, but so far, I’d done nothing with it. So I took off the flowering heads and blanched them while I diced up the stalks into tiny cubes.

The flowering heads were drained and the water was kept, and then I chopped a potato, a shallot and an onion into tiny cubes. The onions and shallots went into the saucepan first, and I fried them with some olive oil. And then the potatoes, and then the broccoli stalk cubes.

When I was satisfied that it was all mixed together, I poured the broccoli floret water onto the veg mix, added some coriander and a stock cube, and left it to simmer. And while it was simmering, I made the dough for two bread rolls.

Eventually, the veg was ready, so with the whizzer, I whizzed it all up, tipping a pot of plain soya yoghurt into the mix as I did so.

It made just about 1 litre of soup, so I sterilised an 800 gram jar in the microwave and put half a pint in it. That’s now in the fridge for another time.

When it was teatime, I had the other half-litre of broccoli stalk soup with those tiny pasta elbows and my two bread rolls. And it was delicious too, especially when followed by two slices of my home-made fruit bread for pudding.

Now back in here, I’m trying to type out my notes, but I keep on falling asleep. And while some of the notes that I’m typing make perfect sense, they bear no resemblance at all to anything that actually happened, so what’s going on?

In the end, I gave it up as a bad job, and I’ll continue with it tomorrow morning when, hopefully, I’ll be feeling much better and much less tired.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about football … "well, one of us has" – ed … a Catholic, a Québecker and a Mormon were at a football match when suddenly, the Catholic announces "Do you know, with one more child I’d have my own football team!"
"That’s nothing!" retorted the Québecker. "With one more child I’d have my own rugby team"
"That’s nothing!" said the Mormon. "I have seventeen wives, and with one more wife, I’d have my own golf course."

0

Tuesday 4th August 2026 – I HAVE HAD …

… a much better day today than any other day in the very recent past. I’m not sure why, though, because it isn’t as if I’ve had any more sleep than usual.

Believe it or not, by the time that I made it into bed last night, it was after midnight. Long after midnight too. I mustn’t ‘arf ‘ave been letting it all hang out last night. But once in bed, I was asleep quite quickly, lying in the position that seems to ease my coughing.

However, round about 03:30, I was awoken yet again by one of these phantom alarm calls that I’ve been having just recently. And once more, it seemed so real that I almost climbed out of bed with it at that point. Although it was fairly cool in here, I was drenched in sweat for some reason. That’s not easily explained.

Once I’d realised that the alarm call was a phantom call and there was no alarm going off anywhere else … "and just who else would have a BILLY COTTON alarm call?" – ed … I tried to go back to sleep, but without much avail at first.

During the period in which I was awake, I checked the time a few times. I saw 05:20, and then the next thing that I remember was 05:50. Then 06:09 and I thought that I’d get up in a few seconds once I’d relaxed, but the alarm going off at 06:29 scuppered that idea.

As usual, it took me a few minutes to summon up the energy and the motivation to go into the bathroom … "but not as much as usual, surprisingly" – ed … but once I’d finished, I came back in here to find out where I’d been during the night.

Seren and I were doing something around the house when Nerina turned up. We decided to show her what we’d been doing, which was to build a game something like Snakes and Ladders where you advance down a street towards the town centre or you are derailed up side streets and sent backwards. We developed some kind of kiddies’ slide to slide the die down to tell us the number, but for some reason, I couldn’t fit underneath the bar so I had to stand and watch. Then, the coin or admission token didn’t work very well and we needed to give it quite a bit of force to make it move, and then the water in the watermill would come over and … fell asleep here …

Surprisingly, this would not be the first dice game that I invented. After Roxanne had been to see the film “Jumanji”, I invented a game called “Jumanji”. Our floor where we lived, throughout all the apartment, was tiled. We chose six of her favourite stuffed toys and numbered them from one to six. We put them at the start line by the French windows in the living room and we then threw a die. If the die came up with, say, a “four”, we’d move stuffed toy number four forward one tile, and so on. The first stuffed toy to reach the window in Roxane’s room was the winner.

Interestingly, the two cats played too. Each would have his or her turn “throwing” (or batting around the room) the die, and when we eventually found it, the number on the upper face would tell us which stuffed toy to move.

It was all totally anarchic.

As for the rest of the dream, it deteriorates into the usual nonsense.

Did I finish that dictation from the previous one about the die? It would slide down a kiddies’ slide thing and tell us the number but we’d made it a bit more complicated than it should be and the first two occasions that we tried it, the die shot off the end and disappeared off up the far end of the kitchen

“We’d made it a bit more complicated than it should be”… "nothing new there, then." – ed …

But it seems that at some point, I stepped back into that first dream and even managed to present us with a different ending.

Isabelle the Nurse came round as usual. I told her about Monday at dialysis and she told me to “take it easy” this morning. Chance would be a fine thing.

After she’d left, I made breakfast and while I was eating, I was reading some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Today, I’ve not really found any controversy in anything that he’s written. But that might be because I was side-tracked quite a few times. There were several occasions where I’d skipped into the situation of the church at Barthomley, Heighley Castle near Keele and the old racecourse at Woore.

And on a few other occasions, I was off with the Black Prince on his chevauchée around Western France during the opening days of the Hundred Years War.

Back in here, there were a few things to do, as usual, and then I made another start on the radio notes. They weren’t easy either because a lot of the artists and albums are new to my programmes so I have to prepare their notes right from the very beginning.

There were several interruptions too, such as the disgusting drink break and the arrival of my faithful cleaner to do her stuff. And while she was at it, she chased me under the shower and I was able to have a good scrub-up and make myself look pretty.

One more, I needed no help to go into the shower and none for helping out either, so I was in the bathroom all on my own. It meant that I could even go into the shower as nature intended.

Once all of the notes were completed … "as indeed they were" – ed … I could make a start on the next radio programme.

This one is going to be a concert so it’s much easier to work. But where editing the sounds and the tracks of the concerts might sometimes be difficult, I managed to do that before I knocked off for tea. So “press on boldly” tomorrow to write the notes.

Tea tonight was a taco roll with rice and veg, and I made a different filling tonight. Apart from the usual tomato, mushrooms, onions and garlic, we had lentils, spinach and bulgur. And it was totally delicious. It made a nice change, and there’s still some left for next week.

So now that everything is finished, I’ll be going to bed ready for a good day’s work tomorrow.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about mushrooms … "well, one of us has" – ed … A lady wanted to make steak and mushrooms for a dinner she was giving, but when she saw the price of mushrooms, she abandoned the idea.
Her husband told her "go and pick some in the field, from down by the river. I’ve seen all kinds of animals eating them so they must be okay"
She goes down to the river and picks a basketful and hands them to the cook to prepare the meal. When the cook thinks that the meal is ready, she gives some of it to Rover the Dog. Then she dishes up the food to the guests and the host and hostess.
Half an hour later she goes back into the dining room. "I’m afraid Rover the dog is dead, ma’am."
"Ohh God, no!" she exclaims. "Did he have any of that meal we ate?"
"Yes ma’am, he did."
So in a wild panic she calls the emergency services and a fleet of ambulances takes the guests to hospital to have their stomachs pumped.
A couple of hours later, still feeling weak and groggy, they go back to the host and hostess’s house. There, they are met by the cook.
"I was telling you about Rover when you all dashed off like that" she said. "And do you know what? The car that hit him never even stopped."

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Monday 3rd August 2026 – ANOTHER TOUGH DAY …

… at dialysis, but this time, it’s of my own making. There wasn’t as much fluid to extract today, so I told the nurse to wind it up and she ended up taking 300 grams extra. That way I can be ahead for Thursday.

But Sunday night was one of these nights where I reckon that I managed to get ahead for a change. Although it wasn’t early when I ended up in bed … "he fell asleep on the porcelain horse again" – ed …, I did manage once more to go to sleep quite quickly.

However, I did manage to wake myself up with a big coughing fit that lasted for an age. I don’t know at what time that was because I didn’t look, but there was no street light on outside in the car park so it must have been after 02:30.

The coughing fit took hours to subside, which is really bad news, but I was soon asleep, and there I stayed until the alarm went off at 06:29.

It took me a good while to drag myself out of bed and head off to the bathroom, where I had a good wash and a shave in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant this afternoon.

Back in here, the first task was to find out where I’d been during the night.

I was living on the farm again in Auvergne, except that it wasn’t the Auvergne but somewhere along the Austrian side of the border with the Czech Republic. I had to catch the bus into the city and the bus stop was on the main road a long way away from where I was living so I had to walk, and it was raining and misty. When I reached the main road, I had to walk a little way along the road to the bus stop, but coming up the hill towards me were two white Volvo 145 estates with Czech number plates. They each had a big, round and white adhesive disc on the windscreen, high up on the driver’s side with a number on it, and a couple of yellow adhesive signs on the window with different numbers on them. And as I looked up on the old road higher up the hill where the village was, there was a third Volvo 145 estate. When I reached the city, I had a few things to do and then I went for a drink in my favourite bar before buying a loaf of bread and catching the bus back home. In the bar, I met a few friends of mine and we were chatting, mainly about these three Volvo estates. There was currently a football tournament going on between Austria, the Czech Republic and a few other countries in Central Europe, and I wondered if it was anything to do with that, but my friends were much more interested in the long walk that I’d had from my place to the bus stop. Suddenly, I noticed the time – it was 18:00, so I had to hurry, and I doubted that I would find any bread in the shops at this time. One of my friends came with me, but we had no luck in the bread shops that we had tried so far. But as we passed a shop window, we noticed a huge hand-made poster in the window with a photograph of a fleet of these white Volvo 145 estates and some writing in Czech that I didn’t understand. At the bottom, in big handwritten red crayon, written in English, was “and we also have an ex-British Postal Services minibus”. This all looked really interesting, but I wish that I knew what the Czech writing said.

It’s been quite a subject of discussion between my friends and me that I regrettably didn’t take full advantage of the opportunities offered by my early retirement and the Treaty of Maastricht. Regular readers will recall that I visited the Czech Republic ON MANY OCCASIONS, sometimes under the Communist regime and as recently as 2020. I would have quite happily settled down in a country as beautiful as this, but I was far too preoccupied with other matters to think clearly at the time.

The story about the Volvo estates is interesting too. I can’t imagine why these would be much of a subject of interest to me, but doing the kind of work that they do – running between Austria and the Czech Republic – I would have loved to find out more about it, even if it meant having to drive an ex-British Postal Services minibus.

Isabelle the Nurse turned up rather earlier than usual, and she had some news for me. It seems that there has been some discussion by the authorities about what to do if the drought and heatwave continue, and someone has mentioned the possibility of cutting off the water for a couple of hours each day. And it’s not “pie in the sky” either because I’ve seen reference to it in the press. Whether it will ever happen is, of course, another matter completely.

After she had dealt with my feet and legs, she cleared off on the rest of her round, and I could make my breakfast. And while I was eating, I was reading some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Today he brings into the conversation the cathedral at Limburg in Germany. "Nowhere is the character of the German Transition better exemplified than in the magnificent Cathedral of Limburg. One could hardly have supposed that a church so visibly belonging to an imperfect style could have been capable of such a sublime effect. But the reason is manifestly to be found in its very slight deviation from the old Romanesque model, upon the type of which it is conceived throughout."

In actual fact, it was a Romanesque cathedral when it was built but seven or eight hundred years ago, much of it was rebuilt in the Gothic style, and the bits that are still Romanesque are the surviving bits of the church when it was originally built.

Back in here, I had a listen to the next radio programme to be broadcast, and, as I was satisfied that it was as it should be, I sent it off to be included in the stream for this weekend.

There were a few other things to do, and then I made a start on writing the notes for the next radio programme. Not that I managed to go very far. I really shall have to become much more motivated than I am.

At midday, I went into the dining area, sorted out a disgusting drink and my midday medication, and then I began to prepare myself to go to dialysis. My cleaner turned up to apply my anaesthetic but she didn’t stay long, as she had other fish to fry. And it’s just as well that she didn’t because the taxi was twenty minutes early today.

The driver had had to pick up someone at the Centre Normandy who wanted to go to a village near Avranches so the despatching had combined me and the old lady in Sartilly into the same trip. We made good time to Sartilly but the old lady wasn’t ready, so that was that.

We dropped off the other woman at Bacilly and then drove to the dialysis centre. We arrived bang on time, so those twenty minutes in advance were effectively wasted. And when I weighed myself, it was 600 grammes short of the weight for the last couple of sessions so, as I said, I told the nurse to wind it up to put me in advance.

Once I was up and running, I watched another football match from the weekend – Hwlffordd v Airbus UK Broughton. The last time that Airbus were in the Cymru Premier League, they managed two draws and no wins in an entire season. However, they have already improved on that after one match by winning the game 1-0. Hwlffordd had a pretty good season last season and they’ve signed some good players, but Airbus’s squad, mainly the players from their Second Division campaign last season, slugged it out with them toe-to-toe, scoring the goal that won the game with just five minutes to go.

From what I’ve seen, I reckon that Airbus and Llandudno are going to be a handful for some of the other clubs in the Premier Division.

Eventually, I was unfastened from the machine and when I weighed myself, I found that I was below my dry weight, which is good news. I had to wait ten minutes for my taxi, which turned up with another passenger inside, going to La Rochelle-Normande. There’s no doubt that since I’ve been travelling by taxi to my medical appointments, I’m seeing parts of Normandy that I never knew existed.

Back here, my cleaner was waiting for me, and she helped me into the apartment, where she stuck a disgusting drink into my sweaty little mitt.

After she left, I made my tea – a vegan burger with pasta and ratatouille. However, I didn’t enjoy it as much as I might have done, and I don’t know why.

Now that I’ve finished my notes and done a few other things that need doing, I’m off to bed, much later than I intended.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about the Czech Repubilc … "well, one of us has" – ed … and to be serious for just a moment, regular readers of this rubbish will recall that when I was in the Czech Republic in 2015, I drove past a primary school and in the playground, a lot of the kids were jumping up and down on trampolines.
"Hmmm" I thought to myself. "Bouncing Czechs."

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Sunday 2nd August 2026 – THIS IS WHAT …

… an ideal Sunday is, as far as I’m concerned.

Once I’d cleared up a few outstanding things, I have been footballing for the rest of the day. And not to mention the lie-in this morning … "lie-in?" – ed … I told you not to mention that!

Last night, I was in bed round about 23:00 and asleep quite quickly too. But not for long. I awoke at some point (after 02:30 because the light on the car park was out) and lay awake tossing and turning for a considerable number of hours. When I looked at the time, it was about 05:05, so I thought that I might raise myself from the Dead at some point, but the next time I checked (after it felt as if it had just been a couple of seconds) it was 07:09.

"Right – give me thirty seconds and I’ll be up" I exclaimed. "Just let me close my eyes for another ten seconds or so first!"

And the next thing that I knew, it was 08:15.

"No point in getting up now" I thought. "Isabelle the Nurse will be here very soon." however, it was another good half-hour before she arrived. And that didn’t bother me at all because by that time, I’d gone back to sleep.

She shouted “hello” when she came into the apartment and I vaguely sort-of heard her, but I didn’t react. She came in here and found me still in bed, so she applied the cream and massaged my legs and feet, fitting my compression socks when she finished.

As she was leaving, she shouted “have a good sleep”, and I think that I replied with an incoherent type of grunt.

After she had gone, I climbed out of bed and eventually had enough energy and motivation to head for the bathroom to sort myself out. After that, I went into the kitchen to make breakfast – black coffee, porridge and two home-made croissants, with diluted fruit juice with which to take my medication.

What with one thing or another, it was 09:15 when I started to make breakfast, even having enough time to put Strawberry Moose back on the bed from where he had been during the night.

While I was eating, I was reading some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

He’s still in deep discussion about Gothic and Romanesque architecture, comparing the differences between them and also the similarities, because there are plenty of similarities. "Still a square abacus, a Romanesque moulding, an intermingled round arch, show that we are hardly yet in the region of pure Gothic. The abaci are intermixed, round, octagonal, and square, the latter seeming to prevail ; and columns of semi-classical character, of which Canterbury affords almost a solitary instance in England, are frequently employed. Lancet windows, of various proportions, but often very short and broad, are most usual ; but circular windows, with or without tracery, and occasionally large pointed windows without tracery, occur. The tooth-moulding is rare, and, when it occurs, is not cut with the same boldness as in England."

Back in here afterwards, after a most enjoyable and relaxing breakfast, I came back in here and after I’d done a few things that needed doing, I made a start on finishing the notes for yesterday. And that took much longer than it ought, because I kept on going through those waves and waves of fatigue that keep on happening. Even after a lie-in this morning, too.

Once I’d finished the notes, I went for a disgusting drink and the midday medication, and then back in here, I started on my little footfest. The first instalment was the remainder of the match between Cardiff Metropolitan and Trefynnon. It was 3-1 when we left it with 17 minutes to go, but in the time remaining, the Met went on to score a further three goals. That was tough on Trefynnon because while they were always second-best in this game, they weren’t five goals worse. But as a newly promoted side, they were just caught on the wrong foot all the time.

The next game was the remainder of the game between Llandudno and Fflint. When we left this game, it was 2-1 to Fflint. However, Llandudno brought on their Dad’s Army of veteran strikers Marc Williams and Mark Cadwallader, both of whom have figured in these pages over a period of many years.

These two turned the game on its head. Each of them scored a goal to give Llandudno a 3-2 victory. This was, by the way, the best match that I have seen so far from the Cymru Premier League’s matches.

Finally, there was the live game – Connah’s Quay Nomads v Caernarfon Town. The Nomads took the lead in this game but not long afterwards, the Cofis equalised with a penalty after a Nomads player handled the ball in the penalty area.

In the second half, the game swung from one way to another with no one really having the better of it, but a snap shot by Zack Clark from the edge of the area towards the end of the game proved to be the decisive difference.

From what I’ve seen so far, Caernarfon and Connah’s Quay looked to be technically the best teams, but the most exciting teams to date are Cardiff Metropolitan, Flint and Llandudno. I’m looking forward to seeing many more matches involving those three teams.

I had no meal tonight – just a handful of crackers and biscuits, and now I’m off to bed.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about football … "well, one of us has" – ed … a little old lady went into the bank in Liverpool carrying two sacks. One was full of £10 notes, and she put it on the counter.
"Where did you get all this money?" asked the bank clerk.
"I live next door to Anfield" she replied. "At half-time, loads of people come into my garden and pee behind my hedge. I’m so fed up of it that recently, I’ve been appearing, brandishing my secateurs while they are “busy” and demanding £10 … or else …"
"So what’s in the other sack?"
"I’m on my way to the pet food manufacturer. Not everyone has got £10."

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Saturday 1st August 2026 – YET ANOTHER DAY …

… where I’ve imitated my namesake the mathematician and done three-fifths of five-eighths of … errr … nothing whatsoever. And it wasn’t for the want of trying either. It was just that the opportunity wasn’t there.

After the football last night, it ended up being a very late night by the time that I was in bed. And although I managed to go to sleep quite quickly, I did manage to sleep until all of about … errr … 01:20. After that, I stayed awake for almost all the rest of the night.

When I looked at the time at one point, it was 05:50, and I was toying with the idea of leaving the bed. However, wiser councils prevailed. I turned over onto my face and went back to sleep. And there I lay until the alarm went off at 06:29.

From that point of waking up to the moment of being dressed and in the kitchen is but a moment, but in real life as it is today, it’s a whole eternity away and I wasn’t prepared for it at all. It was a desperate battle to fight my way into the bathroom to organise myself and to have a good shave in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant today.

Back in here, I listened to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night

There was something going on with the clubs in the Cymru Premier League. There had been a few additions, and everyone wanted to know their names, their nicknames, how they played, all that kind of thing, so I decided that if I were to do some research on the matter, what I would do would be to do it properly and completely, and whatever I, or the other person writing it from the other end, didn’t want in the statistics, I’d pass them on to anyone else who wanted them so that they would have the same kind of start that we did last season

Yes, the Welsh Premier League is up and running already, with this new TELEVISION COMPANY that I mentioned yesterday. And there has indeed been a pile of new players coming into the league, from England, Scotland, and even places like Zambia and New Zealand. Finding out about them has been interesting to say the least.

Isabelle the Nurse turned up as usual, except that she was rather later than usual. As she was sorting out my feet and legs, she explained that when visiting one of her patients in town earlier, her car was hemmed in by a selfish driver, and judging by this number plate, he was a tourist. To get back behind the driving seat, she had to climb in through the back door and then over the back of the front seats.

She was quite indignant about that.

After she left, I could make my breakfast, and while I was eating, I was reading some more of A HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE by Charles Freeman.

Today, he’s been steering clear of controversy as far as the “Mohammedans” go. But while he’s been talking about the overwhelming superiority of Gothic architecture, he notes here that "The finest of our Romanesque naves, those of Ely and Peterborough, are actually later in date than the advanced Transition of Canterbury choir, and but very little earlier than the pure Lancet architecture of the eastern chapels at Winchester. It is manifest then that, in some cases at least, the decaying style was retained in deliberate preference to the new."

After breakfast and having sorted myself out, I came back to the office and began to complete the notes from yesterday. With the usual waves of fatigue coming along to swamp me as I wrote, it took much longer than it should have done. It wasn’t until about 11:30 that it finally made its way on line. So if you missed Friday’s blog, you can FIND IT HERE.

Once I’d done that, there were a few other things that needed doing, and then, for about fifteen minutes, I had a little sleep. And you’ve no idea how much I enjoyed that. In fact, had I not decided to set the alarm for midday on a dialysis day, I probably would still be asleep right now.

However, I went into the dining area once the alarm had sounded and began to sort out what I need for this afternoon and for a disgusting drink and the midday medication. My faithful cleaner also turned up to apply the anaesthetic to my arm.

After she left, I went for a stroll … errrr … down the corridor, and it’s a good job that I did too because my taxi was hours early today … "about fifteen minutes actually" – ed … It was one of my favourite drivers too, so we had a good chat on the way to pick up Madame Dinosaur.

When we arrived at the site of the exposition and she had to go onto the site for her passenger, she asked me, rather nervously, "there aren’t any dinosaurs loose and wandering around in there, are there?". I put her mind at rest but I don’t think that she was convinced.

Having had an early start like that, we arrived at dialysis quite early – 13:35, in fact. And in charge of our room today was one of the young and efficient nurses who has been there for quite a while – one of my favourites in fact. And by 14:10, I was up and running. I wasn’t very impressed, though. It seemed that, because I’d left on Thursday with so much water still in me, we were going to have another gruelling session with the machine going flat-out on “max”.

Today, I settled down to watch a couple of football matches on the internet. The first one was Llandudno v Fflint from last night, followed by the live match of Cardiff Metropolitan v Trefynnon. I wasn’t able to see either match to the end because the live match started before the Llandudno game had finished and due to the early start, the Cardiff Metropolitan game hadn’t finished when it was time to be unplugged. And, of course, there were the usual blood pressure alarms that brought the nurses running every time.

Emilie the Cute Consultant was there today too. I caught a glimpse of her in the distance down the corridor. She didn’t come to see me, though, which was a crying shame. She doesn’t love me any more by the looks of things.

It was the “boss” who brought me home tonight. He was ready and waiting for me when I came out of my room and that was nice. We had a good chat all the way home, where my faithful cleaner was awaiting, and she helped me inside the apartment. When I was settled in a chair, she passed me another disgusting drink and then, in the best characteristics of the long-gone and much-missed “News of the Screws”, she “made her excuses and left”.

Once she’d gone, I could turn my attention to tea. Tonight, it was a burger on a bap with vegan salad and baked potato. For some reason, I didn’t enjoy it as much as I usually would do. I hope that my taste buds aren’t changing yet again. That would be a disaster.

When I finished tea, I came back in here to carry out a few tasks and then I attacked the notes. However, as usual after a dialysis day, when the machine has been operating at the “max”, I had the typical “wave of fatigue” flooding over me. I was reviewing what I was writing, and there was so much that appeared to be total nonsense, with spelling mistakes, typing faults and heaven knows what else besides … "nothing new here, then" – ed … I decided to call it a day and go to bed. I can finish the notes in the morning.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about doctors … "well, one of us has" – ed … apparently, the reason why Emilie the Cute Consultant had a visitor with her.
"Hello doctor" said the man. "I’ve been stung by a bee"
"No problem" said Emilie the Cute Consultant. "I’ll put some special cream on it"
"Don’t be silly, doctor" replied the man. "That bee will be miles away from here by now."

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