… to temptation today.
When the alarm went off at 07:30 I was actually fast asleep, as I was when it went off at 07:45. And for once, with no sense of shame or guilt, I just turned over and went back to sleep.
It was probably something to do with having one of my better (at least, in recent times) nights of sleep last night. Although I vaguely remember waking up a couple of times, I didn’t actually have to go for a stroll down the during the night.
It might also have something to do with the fact that I didn’t go to bed until after midnight, and that’s quite late for me these days. I’ve still not recovered from all of my exertions from while I was on the road back from Leuven and early nights seem to be the norm right now. It’s been several years since I could stay up until 02:00 and then be up and about as fit as a fiddle at 06:00.
There was a pile of stuff on the dictaphone too so it really must have been something of a disturbed night one way or another. I can’t remember much about this first little voyage except that I was suffering from whatever it was from which I’m suffering with all of the limited mobility as well yet there were other people who were completely fully mobile. Somehow I was able to move about but I don’t know how, why or when.
However I could remember something a little later. I found a stone or an extra something or other down the bed. That helped me add up to something more normal, more realistic.
There was an election taking place somewhere. I wrote a long eulogy for one of the candidates. After I’d prepared it I was told basically that it wasn’t needed. I was wasting my time and no-one liked my work anyway. Going back to the office afterwards I told whoever it was that I’d had enough. I was going to retire. They asked whether I was old enough to do it so I replied that to tell the truth I was past the retiring age by a couple of years and this is a recurring dream, isn’t it?. When we finally entered this room where this party was taking place, the kettle was boiling and the girl making the tea was running around. There were a couple of people whom I knew and I was trying to be nice to them but it wasn’t working. I was just generally fed up.
Later on I was in hospital busy trying to work out how I was going to go home. There was a shortfall of about half an hour in my journey and I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to move myself for that half-hour to complete the journey properly or whether I was just going to be falling short again. There was some famous footballer who came onto the wards and was walking around talking to all the patients. He was quite enjoying it and so were they. I had a few words with him but I can’t remember what I said now.
And then we were at a restaurant. I asked an innocent question of a woman on my table “what does your husband do?” which provoked piles of guffaws from everyone. I thought to myself afterwards and then I said “perhaps as well as several other tables in this restaurant they ought to have an ‘innocent babes’ table where we can go to sit and ask innocent questions without everyone taking them as double-entendres” but it was actually quite funny.
Finally, I should have gone to the hospital to hassle them over something or other but in the end I ended up having a nice, long lie-in in bed. I then decided that I was going to go home. I went out of the door to leave and found that my sister was round the back of the house tidying up in the garden from her birthday. I sneaked this kind-of barrel organ thing round to the back to start to serenade her but to play it was much more difficult than I thought. It ended up being a load of rubbish. She smiled and thought that it was funny. She showed me everything that she was having to clear up and put away from her birthday party the previous day. Considering that there hadn’t been many people there was an enormous pile of crockery and cutlery set out on these tables that she had piled up ready to bring into the house
It was actually just after 10:00 when I finally saw the light of day. And it’s a good job that I did because my neighbour rang me again. He was on the way to the market and did I need anything? So now I have some mushrooms and peppers too. I might go back into my old habits tomorrow and make a pizza. It’s been an age …
Another neighbour came round too – Pierre, the skipper of the Spirit of Conrad, the yacht on which we went down the Brittany coast another whole lifetime ago. He’d heard that I was back in town and wanted to see how I was. I seem to be quite popular just now.
After my toast and coffee I sat down to work on a letter that I need to write. And by the time that I was ready for tea, I’d written the first draft. It’s quite an incendiary letter because the events of the past few weeks have taught me that trying to be polite in a certain sphere has got me absolutely nowhere – except backwards – and I’m past caring now about whatever certain people might think.
Nothing much will change – I’m quite certain of that – but if I can blister the paint in a certain office then I’ll feel so much better. The knowledge that my doctor is coming to visit me on Monday inspires me with some kind of confidence that I can take drastic steps and have some element of support.
Tea was, as usual on a Saturday, some of these breaded quorn fillets with potatoes (now that I have some) and frozen veg. Only enough frozen veg now for one more meal so sometime either Monday or Tuesday I need to experiment by trying to catch a bus to the Carrefour supermarket.
That should be an exciting day out because not only do I have to make it to the supermarket, I have to make it back to the bus stop with my purchases and then climb up the stairs with them to my apartment.
The sooner I can knock all of this on the head, the better.
