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Saturday 7th September 2019 – I HAVE THROWN AWAY …

… a whole lifetime today.

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that I travel around the world in some kind of peripatetic idyll, all of my possessions either on my back or in one of my trucks (Caliburn in Europe, Strider in North America).

But today, up at the mill, I heaved almost all of my North American possessions into a skip (dumpster to you North Americans) and put an end to my nomadic lifestyle.

It’s simply that I can’t do it any more and it’s no point pretending that I can continue. Watching the blood count slowly decline over the last two years down to the critical level (which it must surely have reached by now seeing as I haven’t had it checked for almost 3 months) and knowing that my days are numbered, it’s just useless weight that I’m dragging around with me.

In a couple of weeks I’ll be up in Montreal and I’ll be emptying out my storage locker. The only thing that I’ll be salvaging from there will be the amplifier and speaker for the bass and the remainder will be joining the rest of the travelling gear in that great camp site in the sky.

That’ll be the first time in Montreal this year. It’s not like me, is it?

But I’ll tell you something. Regular readers of this rubbish will recall my mentioning the rather lively back end of Strider, how we travelled mainly sideways down a variety of gravel roads in Labrador. “Lively” back in those days had absolutely nothing on “lively” today, with almost nothing on the pick-up bed.

If I ever make it back to Labrador, we shall certainly be living in interesting times.

Having crowed about my really good nights just recently, it’s almost inevitable that they should catch up on me sooner or later.

And so it was last night.

For a start, we were still awake, the bass guitar and me, at well past midnight as I was picking away at various bass lines, unable to sleep. One thing about life on The Good Ship Ve … errr … Ocean Endeavour is that it has pumped music back into my soul.

But when I finally did manage to drop off, the dictaphone tell its own story. There’s a record on average about every 20 minutes over a three-hour period, and what I do remember from the various nocturnal rambles is that every single one of them concerned Castor pursuing me around the ship.

Not that I’m complaining of course. Usually, anyone pursuing me anywhere would be almost certainly brandishing the kind of offensive weapon that would paralyse a polar bear, so it makes a nice change to be pursued by pleasant company. What I don’t understand is why I thought it necessary to run away. I’m definitely losing my grip.

Once all of that was over I was up and about, only to find that we had run out of bread for breakfast. With Zoe not coming back last night, we hadn’t been to the shops had we?

Instead Rachel and I went straight up to the garage and made coffee, and slowly woke up.

Then it was that I attacked the emptying of Strider and that took me almost up to lunchtime. But lunchtime was late – there was a queue of trucks needing attention in the workshop and we couldn’t move one out until almost 12:45.

Zoe, who had by now put in an appearance, and I shot back to the house, picked up all of her belongings and, now that Strider was almost empty, whipped them down to her new house. And I’m glad that we had emptied Strider because by the time we got to Woodstock we were half a million strong and there wasn’t much room inside the truck.

Atlantic Superstore was next for a week or two’s load of vegan food so that I can eat properly, and also due to the fact that we are having another vegan messing with us for a while.

There’s a hurricane threatening here and out in the sticks a back-up generator is necessary. But believe it or not, in a household with 6 cars, three trucks, two heavy trucks and assorted 4-wheelers, snowmobiles, golf carts and Amber’s motor scooter, there wasn’t a drop of spare fuel.

Consequently Hannah had thrown a pile of empty fuel cans into the back of Strider and I came back from Irvings at Woodstock with 157.6 litres of petrol in the back of Strider. The rear end of Strider wasn’t bouncing around at all then!

Next stop was back at the garage. Darren had a rear wheel bearing, driveshaft oil seal, brake disk and caliper to change on the rear of a Chevrolet D5500 heavy truck – the one that I drove down to New Hampshire a couple of years ago to take that racing engine for repair.

It’s not difficult task but it’s heavy, dirty and complex, and four hands are always better than two working down a cramped inspection pit.

The task involved a judicious amount of heat and with an oxy-acetylene welding torch it brought back many happy memories. The last time that I did any welding on a car was the old Passat back in 1997 but that was with the mig-welder. With oxy-acetylene, the last time that I did any welding was stitching Nerina’s Ford Fiasco back together back in something like 1991. When I had my taxi company I was probably welding up one car or other almost every day.

We’d finished by about 18:00 and staggered off back home.

And I couldn’t resist a smile. Driving 20 miles with 157 litres of petrol floating around in the back of the truck and having to invent a makeshift stopper for one of the cans – getting out the oxy-acetylene welding bottles – crawling around an inspection pit in a garage taking driveshafts out of lorries and showering myself in Hypoid 90 – I thought that I had left all of that behind me more than 30 years ago.

You can take the boy out of Crewe right enough, but you can’t ever take Crewe out of the boy.

But then that’s why I like New Brunswick. It’s about 50 years behind the times and suits me perfectly.

Rachel came to awaken me later. It seems that I had crashed out for a while (hardly a surprise) and it was now tea-time. A chick pea curry which was delicious, and then we were descended upon by hordes of people. Amber is having a party and despite the rain and the winds, there are dozens of teenagers all attired in a variety of swimwear and heading for the hot tub outside.

I’ve locked myself in my room with the bass guitar and I am refusing to come out until the coast is clear. It’s a good job that it’s Sunday tomorrow and a lie-in is on the cards. I think that I’m going to need it.

Thursday 6th April 2017 – YES, DEFINITELY THE FRIDGE.

It took ages to go off to sleep again last night with the fridge whining away in the background. And I was awoken once more in the middle of the night by the rattling of the compressor.

But I did manage to go back to sleep and was awoken by the alarm, which is always nice.

I’d been on my travels too – something I’ve not really done for a while. I was taxiing again – this time in the white Volkswagen Passat estate that I own. And the wife of one of the people for whom I drove back in the early 80s put in an appearance too.

And that reminds me – I need to rescue the Passat and the Minerva next time I go back to the Auvergne and put them on the hardstanding. After all, that’s why I had it made.

I had a quiet leisurely morning. I’m not up to doing too much these days. What with chatting to Liz and so on, I was late for going to buy my baguette and ended up at the boulangerie across the road. I had a walk down to Caliburn too, to make sure that he’s okay and to pick up a few things that I need.

At lunch I went for a walk down on the promenade at the back of the Casino over there to sit in the sun and eat my butties. And sit in the sun I did too – for about an hour.

But the wind was rather wicked and despite the sunshine, it was really cold and there was nowhere to shelter. In the end, I decided that the only protection was “flight” and came back home.

Back here I carried out some more research about places to stay and made a few phone calls but no-one called me back. But then I’m not surprised. No-one seems to want to earn any money these days. They just want to sit at home and moan about how cruel the world is.

Tea was the rest of the potatoes, and I made a thing out of a tin of lentils, a tin of veg and a bottle of tomato sauce. It wasn’t too bad after. It was all washed down with some fruit salad and soya dessert which was nice.

So now let’s see what kind of night we have tonight. I managed to avoid crashing out so I should be ready for a good sleep. Watch someone come along and spoil it for me.

Sunday 18th September 2011 – SUNDAY IS A DAY OF REST …

… and after my late night last night, I deserved a lie-in. And when I was finally awake I went off to have a nice shower too. But something that I saw made me burst out laughing and I wish that I had a camera with me. Someone came to fill up their 50-litre water container – one of these round ones that looks as if it might be on wheels – and then towed it away with their car. It’s rather sad really.

They say that old Fords never die – they just rust away. But here is the proof that old Volkswagens never die either. They just merge into the landscape.

There’s a good few parked up here, and it did make me wonder what the owner is intending to do with them. There’s a few there that haven’t moved for a considerable period of time.

I said previously that it’s a rather sad affair when I’m taking photos of vehicles like this and calling them “historic”.

This is a Chevrolet Chevelle SS L82 and it’s a single headlight model that dates it from the very early 1970s I think, although like Eomer in The Lord of the Rings, I would gladly learn better. I do know that the SS refers to SuperSport and that the insurance on one of these would have been unaffordable to most people.

This is however much more interesting.

Not so much that it’s a Peugeot Boxer caravanette, and I bet that you’ve never seen one of these in North America before, it’s actually on German numberplates. I managed to track down the owners to have a chat with them, and it transpires that they came over with Seabridge and Atlantic Containers, the same companies as those whom I met the other week.

So it clearly works and I shall have to look into it. And it’s amazing how quickly my German of 30 years ago comes back when I have no alternative but to speak it. I was impressed with what I could remember.

There was still plenty of music to be found here and there around the city. Rick Fines and his lady bassist were playing at Officers Square to quite a healthy crowd sitting here in the sun.

I had quite a chat with the bassist afterwards and, to my shame, I forgot to ask her name. That’s rather embarrassing. But she did tell me that she’s been playing guitar since she was 9 and bass since she was 13.

Today is also the day of the Terry Fox run – he was someone diagnosed with cancer who set out to run across Canada to raise funds but died before he could make it.

Now, on the third Sunday in September, loads of people take to the streets to complete a little section of his run.

The run through Fredericton follows the public footpath that was formerly the railway line through the city. and here they had a band to help them along.

They were called Blue Train and while the music didn’t appeal to me all that much, they are local and the vocalist certainly could sing. He had loads of stage presence too so it was quite an enjoyable little concert.

>Now here’s the answer to a question that I have often asked.

When I worked with that weird American company a couple of years ago I was talking to a couple of people who worked for the giant UK Supermarket company Tesco, and I asked them why they had never set out to conquer North America. And when they did invade North America, they used a totally different name to Tesco, a strange decision when their brand has so much recognition in the UK

So here’s the answer. Someone else owns the trade name in North America. A manufacturer of lorry bodies.

We’ve seen a few of these before, and here’s yet another.

Not the GMC Tracker, but the state of the outer sills just in front of the rear wheel. I can remember welding up dozens of cars that were rotten like this back in the 80s but the last welding that I have ever done on a car was to weld up an exhaust pipe on my old Passat in 1997. I haven’t welded up a car body for over 20 years.

And if you notice, the rot here is on the offside, not the nearside. That’s rather unusual as the salty water is usually in the gutter alongside the kerb. One thing though – I can see that there are plenty of openings for me over here. I won’t be short of work.

I went off for a little drive later on and found a Canadian Tire place, where I couldn’t persuade them to sell me their display model AIR403 wind turbine. And here, parked outside, totally unattended and with the engine running, was a big black Jeep.

Could you ever imagine a situation like that in the UK?

Monday 17th May 2010 – It’s been a long time …

… since you have seen the front of the barn looking like this. In fact, you’ll notice that the Subaru has gone (it’s now down by the Passat) and the caravan chassis has also gone, with the roofing sheets for the barn being put where the caravan chassis was.

Terry and Simon came round today and helped me move the stuff and once we had the caravan chassis out, we changed a wheel, freed off the brakes, pumped up a tyre and took it round to Terry’s.

It’s in worse condition than I thought having stood outside for 8 years in total and 3 years since the dear departed Liz smashed off the body with an axe. So first thing was to take off all the wooden floor and scrap it.

Once we had done that we freed off everything that needed freeing and that was when we noticed the bent corner jack. And in undoing that, that was when we noticed the chassis rot. This is not going to be as straightforward as I expected.

Luckily Terry had some angle iron and an electric welder so he did the first bit and I did the second and considering it’s 15 years since I last did any electric welding I was quite impressed with what I did. But really I’m going to have to get some gas bottles again – I’m much better with oxy-acetylene welding.

Once we had the trailer welded up we went off to order the wood that we need to make a super-duper heavy-duty trailer bed and then we called it a day.

Tomorrow we’ll be grinding off the rust from the chassis, painting it with Hammerite or whatever and then wiring some trailer lights and reflectors onto it. Hopefully the wood will be ready too tomorrow afternoon and we can spend the evening fitting it.

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Tuesday 2nd March 2010 – Well, the Passat has a new home.

In fact I’ve moved it to where we cleared out yesterday. It’s not actually where it’s going to stay but we had a little operational difficulty about that – namely it will be parked right over where we had the fire yesterday – and that it still burning – or it was at 17:30 this afternoon.

Well done to the Passat though as it went everywhere under is own steam, the first time it’s seriously moved since 2003 as keen readers of these pages in one of its many former reincarnations will remember that it was when I was down here from Brussels with the Passat in 2003 that I was taken seriously ill, and Lieneke drove me back which meant that the Passat had to stay here.

So I charged up the battery on the solar panels in the barn but the battery wouldn’t hold its charge (no surprise there) so I had to jump it off Caliburn. None of the electrics were working either so I had to hotwire the heater plugs and after three rotations the engine fired up. Smoke everywhere, especially from the damp that was everywhere and having to dry out) but then again so would you if you had stood around for 7 years and someone put 13.4 volts through you.

The handbrake had seized so a simple rolling backwards and forwards freed that off, and then I set off down the lane, negotiating the elageur who had miraculously appeared in order to mow the banks. At this point the throttle cable snapped, so I wedged the throttle stop open with a piece of wood (to go faster, you just stick a thicker piece of wood in – all hi-tech this, you know) and I eventually got it into position.

Tomorrow I’ll be moving the Escort van and the Sankey trailer, and taking my towing dolly round to Bill’s. Once that is done I can sit back a little.

I’ve also been hacking my way through the undergrowth in the garden and as well as that I’ve been moving he rubble out of what will be the bedroom. I’m not short of work round here at the moment.

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Monday 1st March 2010 – Dydd Gwyl Dewi!

We celebrated St David’s Day by having a work-in here. Just Terry, Liz and Yours Truly but of course it’s quality that counts, not quantity.

As you know, I’m looking for a place to park the Escort and the Passat (and also the Sankey trailer) so that they can get access down to the fallen tree and the collapsed house. I have a patch of waste ground that has old trees, stones, rocks, brambles, thistles as well as rusty beer cans and hibernating lizards and so we set to clear it out so I can move everything down here.

This led to one of the biggest fires I’ve see down here (in fact it’s still burning even now) and the space is totally clear of rubbish and I can start moving the cars down there tomorrow. I was a little disappointed in Liz who refused to play the starring role in my production of “Joan of Arc” but there you are.

I’m ever so impressed with what we accomplished today.

I needed the heating on again tonight as the temperature has fallen again. But it’s the wood-burning stove doing the business right now. Liz has found someone who does the compressed blocks of wood and he’s given me a couple to try. I need to saw them in half though – they are too big to go through the hole in the stove.

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Thursday 31st December 2009 – Fiat even more Lux!

Yes, the lighting is slowly progressing around the house now. Even with having light up and down the stairwell, it still meant that I needed a torch to move around the house as the living room was in darkness. But I remedied that this morning by using the other half of the light switch at the foot of the stairs and an old redundant light switch by the door into the kitchen, and I now have a light by the front door over the control panel and I can now happily move around torchless.

You might think that this light isn’t all that bright. But firstly, it’s plenty bright enough to move around with and secondly, it’s only 1.2 watts, believe it or not. Yes, these 12-volt LED lights from LIDL, at €4.49 a shot, they are definitely the way to go.

Don’t look too closely at the wiring by the way. Terry takes the mickey out of it even when I do what I consider to be a good job. But here, I ran out of wire and had to cobble together whatever I could find .

I also ran out of time. I did in fact allow myself plenty of time but Claude came round. He’s got a puncture on his old Clio and was wondering if I had a spare 155×13 tyre. I have a couple but they are for the diesel Escort and I’m not going to part with them so I offered to run him into town or to a scrapyard to pick something up. But no, did I have anything? In the end I found 2 165×13 tyres on Volkswagen wheels that belonged to the Passat before I had a lucky find with those 175/70×14 Golf wheels and tyres. So they are the wrong size and on different wheels and they have been hanging around outside for 7 years in all kinds of weather. But they are free so he’s taken them and will change them himself onto the Renault wheels with a crowbar.

Now I did some crazy things with cars and the like in my youth but I drew the line with tyres long before this particular point was ever reached. Second-hand tyres of good quality from a scrapyard is fair game but perishing (in both senses of the word) Uniroyal and Courier remould tyres – well, it’s a problem in the making, this is. And I’m not quite sure how a crowbar will affect the rims of the wheels, especially when you need to rely on the integrity of the rims to keep an airtight seal with tubeless tyres.

This afternoon I fitted one of the offcuts from the verandah roof over where the plant-pot beichstuhl is. There’s no roof over where I’ve fitted it although the scaffolding planks on the scaffolding overhead so protect it somewhat. But with a driving wind causing everything to swirl about, I had a good soaking while I was riding the porcelain (or in this case, aluminium) horse this afternoon. Time for action!

In between all of this, I did a load of washing. After last night’s brilliant and clear skies the sky forgot to cloud over this morning and for a couple of hours we had a brilliantly clear sky. I seized the opportunity to do a load of washing but the clouds caught up before I had finished and now everything is receiving a final rinse from Mother Nature out on the washing line. And more rain is forecast.

I nipped round to Claude’s this evening to give him and Francoise a bottle of champagne for New Year, seeing as I forgot to give it to them on Christmas Eve. Beethoven is ill and they are going to have to take him to the vet’s. He’s 16 and in reasonable health and has bags of character. I’m not into dogs but in his case I could make an exception. I hope he’s going to be ok.

And that was that. I had a nice tea with some roast potatoes, and now I’m going to do nothing except listen to the torrential rain beating down on the roof.

Happy New Year to you all. And I wish for you for 2010 everything that you wished on everyone else for 2009.

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EPIC HALL

The Poisoned Pen (or Poisoned Chalice, more like) – or my relentless struggle against reality