Category Archives: Les Guis

Friday 27th November 2009 – I’ve finished knocking down the wall today.

It took me longer than anticipated as I took my time doing it. It’s made of large hollow lightweight bricks and it occurred to me that with having to build retaining walls outside as Krys wants me to, a supply of large hollow lightweight bricks might come in handy.

I’ve salvaged about 50 of them and put them to one side.

This afternoon I’ve fitted the insulation to the stud walls at the head of the stairs – it’s made a difference to the sound travelling through the walls so it has undoubtedly made a difference to the thermal qualities. And just as well, too. The temperature has fallen dramatically and I was obliged to put the heater on for an hour tonight – the first time in two weeks.

I dunno what kind of weird sense of humour people have round here. If you look at the wall under the stairs you’ll see the wallpaper from about 100 years ago. This house is built of stone and then someone plastered over the stone – and then lined the plaster with stone-patterned wallpaper. Why didn’t they simply forego the plastering?

And not only that either. When I scraped off some of the wallpaper to see what it was like underneath, I came across a hammer and sickle insignia crudely carved into the plaster on the wall. I wonder what that’s all about? It’s something else that strikes me as totally weird in this place – we’ve discussed sacrificial chickens embedded in the concrete before now.

I’ve rescued all of my pointing tools and given them a good clean. Apparently we are all pointing at Liz and Terry’s chantier tomorrow. But I hope the weather is better than it has been for the last few days. Nothing but miserable grey skies and rain. The clothes I washed have been rinsed innumerable times by the heavens but the could really do with drying.

And we have two footy matches tomorrow night – the 1st XI against hated local rivals St Gervais d’Auvergne and the 2nd XI against hated local rivals Charensat. A large crowd is assured (if the weather is half-decent) so just you watch the hotel next door close its doors right on the final whistle. No wonder they can’t make any money.

-10

Thursday 26th November 2009 – "This is the song of a girl and goatherd….

…. lay oh dalayee oh da layeeeeeeooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
sang Julie Andrews in “The Sound of Music”. And I should know. Having a stagestruck mother whose own mother (my grandmother) was a Zeigfield Folly on Broadway in the 1920s I had as a child to sit through every single musical that ever came out and I know the script and the lyrics of each one off by heart. And I don’t ever want to see another musical for as long as I live.

But Julie Andrews didn’t know the story about one particular goatherd who lived just down the road here in Teilhet. He had rented some land for his goats – land that had been “promised” to other people. And one night all his goats were killed. And another night his barn was burnt down. And then he received threatening letters.

A group of people around here felt that the police were dragging their heels and that it was the locals, having been “promised” the land, who were behind all of the shenanigans. This group organised all kinds of demonstrations aimed at confronting the police, trying to provoke some kind of retaliation by the authorities into the locals and their affairs – generally stirring up the community and the like. I was asked to join in the action too, but I stepped back and urged the others to think before they went too far. I usually like to hear both sides of the story before I leap into anything.

This didn’t go down too well at all with some of the others and when a most offensive petition aimed at the local community was drafted in the name of an organisation of which I happened to be a member, I withdrew my support. I received a barrage of e-mails the contents of which would have been out of place in the fo’c’sle of The Good Ship Venus. Accusing me of “being just as guilty as those who are behind the violence” was the least of the criticisms.

Meanwhile, about 100 miles away from here in a village called Tarnac, there is “The Tarnac affair”. Persons unknown placed some railway sleepers across the main TGV line in an attempt to derail a train. Luckily no major damage was done. A short while later a group of young persons in Tarnac was rounded up by the police in respect of this sabotage and were charged, not under “civil” legislation such as criminal damage and the like, but special “terrorism” legislation. It was claimed that this group of persons had contacts with other international groups aimed at disrupting civil society and that sort of thing.

One person whose evidence was instrumental in this case was the famous “witness X”, whose identity was kept secret to avoid “repercussions” due to the nature of his evidence.

And today, the identity of “witness X” has been announced. And who do you think that it is?

Yes, you’re right. None other than our local goatherd.

Now of course there is no evidence to suggest that this group of terrorists or any supporters thereof are behind the attacks on this guy’s farm and his goats (graphologists attached to the French Government say that the writing on the letters matches his own handwriting but he denies this) but it’s a story that is at least as plausible as that of the outraged locals undertaking the attacks. And you can see why the authorities have been thought to be dragging their feet in this affair – the ramifications of the goatherd’s involvement with the “terrorists” of the Tarnac affair stretch across all kinds of international boundaries and go way beyond an ordinary village feud.

Pretty soon, I’ll be seeing some of the people involved in this sorry affair. I’m not expecting an apology for the vilification and the ostracism to which I have been subjected over the past 12 months, but I’ll be intrigued to see how many of them come up to me and admit that I had a very valid point.

In other news, Terry came round today and we went and shovelled some sand into some sacks. 1.4 tonnes of it. We had some good luck too at the quarry, but in the interests of discretion (you never know who reads this blog) I can’t say anything about it.

Afterwards I did some washing, including my really comfy “Hawkshead” boots that a slug had made a home in and as I couldn’t settle down afterwards I went into St Eloy and did my shopping. I met Francois from the Anglo-French group in LIDL and we had a chat.

Yes, shopping today. That’s unusual. But I’m busy all day Saturday. Terry and Liz are having a chantier at their house and that might mean vegan chocolate cake.

-8

Wednesday 25th November 2009 – Now you see it …

… now you don’t. That could either refer to all of the mess in what will eventually be the bedroom, which has all been swept up and bagged for binning, or the wall between the stairway and the bedroom, half of which has been demolished.

That wall needs to be demolished and moved one roof-beam in towards the camera. And then with my patent narrow stairs I can fit a U-shaped stairway in.

The space that will be saved by having the stairs in a U-shape will be the bit by the window (at the foot of where the stairs are right now) and that’s where the shower room will be. I’m not sure if you can fit all of the OUSA Executive Committee in there, though.

I need to fit two floor beams in and that will be tomorrow afternoon’s job after I’ve demolished the rest of the wall.

Yes, I’ve gone berserk with a sledgehammer. And also a broom too.

And why not tomorrow morning? Well, Terry is coming round. He needs a hand to fetch some sand and as he has no tow-bar as yet on his new van to pull the trailer, we need to bag it up at the quarry.

Rhys and I were earlier talking about brassieres and the subject seemed to veer round to chastity belts. It reminded me of the time just before Nerina and I were married and we had to go to see the priest.
“Are you chaste?” he asked Nerina
“Quite often” I replied. “And she always lets me catch her“.

And in other news, Day 2 of this public enquiry is going down a storm. Apart from the Government’s case having fallen away to nothing already (and there’s another 9 months to go!), we have a plainted “(Iraq) had shown itself willing to use weapons of mass destruction on its own people and its neighbours and was flouting a range of UN disarmament resolutions.”. We know this of course from yesterday. It was our best friends the Septics who sold the weapons of mass destruction to Iraq and provided the intelligence to enable Iraq to use the weapons to the best effect. And it was also a whole series of British and American companies, in some cases aided and abetted by the British Government, who were encouraging Iraq to flout the resolutions.

But if you want to talk about a country that is using weapons of mass destruction on its own people and flouting a whole range of UN resolutions, where is the criticism of the Zionists and the crimes they are committing against the Palestinians, many of whom are Jews and some of whom – shock, horror – are CHRISTIANS?

And while we are on the subject of the Zionists, there’s this huge outcry about the fact than Iran may one day sometime have a nuclear bomb. Well, so what? The Zionists have plenty and no-one says anything about that. So if they have them, why can’t Iran have them to balance out the power? Keen students of british history will know that all through the 18th and 19th Century it was British foreign policy to keep the peace by having a balance of power.

During the period that the Soviet Union was “confronting” (which it wasn’t – it was strictly abiding by the terms of the Yalta Agreement) the west, the wars involving European powers were few and far between. Since the collapse of the Soviet Union, the USA and the UK have been dragging the world through the mud.

Vive la Soviet Union! say I.

-8

Tuesday 24th November 2009 – I lit a fire in my brassiere this evening.

I started off by putting samples of all of the construction material that I had been using in the attic. And I’ll tell you – the effect is frightening. The plasterboard took the longest to burn but eventually it did. Everything else was gone in minutes.

No wonder there are so many conflagrations in domestic property. There won’t be much left of my place if it sets alight.

But the tidying up is progressing, and it’s looking quite impressive downstairs. Another day or so and it’ll be done. The pallets that formed the old floor in the attic, they will have to be chucked out of the window but I can’t move the broken slates yet. They are destined to be used for the footpaths between the raised beds in the new vegetable garden once make a start on that later this winter.

And once the tidying up is completed it will immediately become untidy again as I demolish the wall between the bedroom and the stairway. All the rubble will be used for making the steps outside up into the house.

Claude came round today for a chat and bought me some news. Someone has had a really good stroke of luck – an exceptional one in fact. It’s bad news for me as it happens but I suppose that if I stopped being selfish and looked at it from other people’s points of view I should really be pleased at their exceptional fortune.

I can’t say any more about it right now as there needs to be something of a proper announcement at the right time by the right people in the right places.

In other news, the public enquiry into the War to Steal Iraq’s Oil has got under way. Many people wonder why I call it that, but don’t take my word for it – take that of Australia’s Defence Minister Brendan Nelson.

But back to the plot. I was particularly impressed with the phrase “that Saddam had a “continuing intention” to acquire weapons of mass destruction, having used them in the past”. We all know by now that Saddam Hussein had Bacillus Anthracis, Clostridium Botulinum, Clostridium Perfringens, E coli, Histoplasma Capsulatum and Brucella Melitensis, and that he used them on Iranian soldiers during the Iran-Iraq war. And how do we know this? Because the USA sold them to him and then gave him the satellite photos of Iranian troop movements so that he knew where to aim the chemical weapons.

The other bit that drew my specific attention was that “the sanctions policy in place against Iraq since 1991 …was steadily breaking down”. Here’s one reason why it was breaking down. And here’s another one. And there are plenty more where those came from. No wonder the wheels fell off the sanctions policy when Western companies put greed before ethics and legality.

Another Western company implicated in the breach of sanctions was Matrix-Churchill. They were one of the companies, by the way, that were named and shamed by Michael Moore as having supplied chemical weapons to Iraq. And would their “breach of sanctions” have anything to do with Saddam’s “continuing intention to acquire weapons of mass destruction”? During the company’s trial in a British court for its alleged breach of sanctions, the directors of the company claimed that their breaches of sanctions had been guided by the British Intelligence (there’s an oxymoron) Services and the British Ministry of Defence.

This startling revelation so clearly shocked the Court that the British Minister for Trade, Alan Clark was summoned to give evidence and under oath he was obliged to admit that he had been “economical with the truth” in an earlier statement denying all knowledge of the affair. Of course, the trial collapsed and the directors were awarded compensation.

This entire Iraq affair stinks to high heaven.

-5

Monday 23rd November 2009 – I made myself a brazier today…

… out of an old 25-litre chemicals drum.

Now a brazier is something that you use for burning stuff, not something that a woman puts her boobs in, Rhys. And I have plenty of stuff for burning.

Long-term readers of my outpourings will recall that I already have a brazier – the legendary galvanised steel dustbin with which I am very impressed. But it’s full of ashes and overflowing with other stuff and all of that is extremely damp with the hurricane that is still blowing outside. And the stuff for burning is piling up so I’ll use this, burn stuff in small amounts and then empty the ashes regularly.

Today I’ve started the megtidyup inside the house on the floor below here, getting ready to resume work. I have a brick wall to demolish so I need to make the space to drop it. Then I have to take the stairs out. I was going to make some stairs completely from scratch but it occurs to me that I can use the sides from the one Im taking out, and just narrow the treads and the risers.

In other news, the commune is organising a discussion evening in a week or so’s time. The subject?
“Cremation and Funeral Customs in the Auvergne“.
In a commune of just 270 people where there is an average age of 103 I bet that will go down a storm. Last time they did it, they went on a guided tour of the local crematorium. The superintendant of the crem. got talking to one of the visitors.
“How old are you?” he asked.
“I’m 104” was the reply.
“Well, it’s hardly worth your while going home again, is it?”

They are also organising a visit to an opera at Vichy – you can see what exciting lives we have here. But I’m afraid I shan’t be going. I’m sure I can find plenty of things much more exciting to do than going to an opera – such as visiting the dentists or emptying the beichstuhl. I’m a big fan of Kenneth Williams, who on one occasion was talkiing about the opera with a friend.
“You must admit that Wagner has some really magical moments” said the friend.
“Indeed” replied Kenneth. “But he has some dreadful half-hours“.

But Sir Edward Appleton summed up operas succinctly as far as I am concerned. “I don’t mind whatever language an opera is sung in – as long as it’s sung in a language I don’t understand“.

And the temperature has plummeted. It struggled to 11 degrees outside today and it’s only 14.2 in here right now. I’ll be putting the heater on tomorrow if it doesn’t warm up again.

-11

Sunday 22nd November 2009 – Habemus Papam.

Coming back from Commentry yesterday I could see a huge cloud of smoke in the distance up in the hills in the general direction of where I live. And as I got closer to home the pillar of smoke got more and more intense.

I finally tracked down the smoke – it’s the Abbey at Bellaigues just across the valley from me. There was so much smoke coming out of their chimney that I had to check on the radio to see if the Pope had died or something.

But have a quick look at the church on the right-hand edge of the photo. Half the roof is tiled, the other half is rusty corrugated sheet. And on a building of historical importance too. And there are people who complain about my regard for Building Regulations and the like!

A couple of the buoldings in the shot are worthy of note. There is one where the monks go to deal with their filthy habits and underneath the toliets is a room where they bottle their own water.

Regular readers know that I once tried the monastic life but I had to abandon it due to the monotonous diet. Only two monks were allowed to work in the kitchens – the chip monk and the fish friar.

Today I was going to have my huge bonfire and bake my spuds outside. And it looked so nice out there too early on (if 10:24 can be called “early” – I don’t have a clue what it was like before that, for obvious reasons. After all, it is Sunday). Anyway I did a load of work up here and just as I was going outside I noticed the weather. We were having a hurricane, the big wind turbine was going round like the clappers and it was pouring down with torrential rain.

It’s the first day today since the 16th that the temperature hasn’t got up to around 20 degrees. It reached only 14.4 degrees outside today, still unseasonably warm, but it got up to over 18 degrees in here. It’s currently 16.8 degrees and I’m quite comfortable in here. It’s been 10 days since I had the heating on and it’s been interesting to see the temperature in here steadily rise since I moved in.

I’ll be interested to see what happens when the temperature plummets outside. In early January we had minus 15. I bet it won’t be 16.8 degrees in here then!

-12

Saturday 21st November 2009 – I’m currently lying down in a darkened room.

I’ve just seen a hastily-assembled scratch Pionsat XI win 6-1 in a cup match. When I arrived there they had just 10 players and then another two turned up just before the kick-off. Michael, the 2nd XI goalkeeper who had turned up to watch the match was pressed into service as an outfield player and about 10 minutes after kick-off Jerome, the 3rd XI left-back rushed into the ground, into the dressing room and rushed out again in a substitute’s outfit.

So a mixture of players from the 1st, 2nd and 3rd XI took on a big hefty physical side and thoroughly thrashed them. It’s a long time since I’ve seen them do that.

This morning I had something of a lie in – I heard the alarm but slept though the repeats and dreamt about me owning a horse and riding it around the Anglo-Welsh border and looking for a place to stable it while I boarded the steam train at Llanfair Caereinion to travel to Worcester. I’ve had a few memorable dreams recently so my sleep rhythms must be improving.

7 or 8 years ago I was one of the guinea pigs in a research programme concerning dreams. We were taught how to dream and then we had to condition ourselves to wake up as we came out of a dream in order to dictate it onto a dictaphone to be transcribed later. It was a fascinating project and looking back on my dreams (I have a huge file of dreams) I can see various patterns that emerged.

The theory behind this project was that someone was convinced that we only have 7 or 8 long-running dreams and that when we dream we dream “episodes” of one of the long-running dreams. And I can see the point that he was making when I examined them.

In Commentry I had a good wander around the shops but didn’t buy anything other than the regular purchases. And afterwards I went for a swim. I was there for an hour and felt so much better afterwards but the warm shower was the nicest part of it.

Now that I am properly clean I’m going to change the bedding tonight and have some clean stuff. I’m looking forward to that.

-6

Friday 20th November 2009 – On my drive down to Liz and Terry’s yesterday …

… I stopped to take my traditional photograph of the Gorge of the Sioule bathed in cloud. Each time I go that way in the morning I always take a pic as the effects of the cloud are always different.

Yesterday we had an island – the peak of one of the hills in the gorge that was just peeking out above the level of the cloud. It looked like something that Roger Dean would have drawn for the cover of a “Yes” album.

After breakfast I telephoned this radio guy as requested.
“I’m sorry, he’s not here“
“Well, I’ll leave my number so he can call me back later“
“Actually he’s out all day“
“Never mind – he can call me on Monday“
“He has meetings all day Monday and Tuesday. So it won’t be before Wednesday“.
So much for urgency.

The weather is still unseasonably hot – the last four days have all been round the 20-degree mark. So I burnt a pile of rubbish in my galvanised steel dustbin, with which I am very impressed. But much of the paper is still wet and damp so it needs more time to dry out. It if keeps fine by Sunday I’ll have another fire and bake some spuds while I’m doing it. After all, there’s no footy on Sunday.

I’ve carried on with the tidying up too.

And earlier this evening I was sitting quietly in my room when there was a terrific crash from outside in the stairwell. I had 5 or 6 boxes of screws all neatly stacked and for no apparent reason they all fell down the stairs. There are thousands of screws everywhere now.

I must have a ghost, I suppose. My house in Crewe is haunted and the local vicar told me that he would come round and exorcise it. I asked him why. As far as I was concerned the ghost was one of the family and had just as much, if not even more right to be there.

And Lee Pottymouth lives in a flat that is haunted by two ghosts, and he reckons that they are homosexual ghosts. “They don’t half put the willies up me” he said.

-7

Thursday 19th November 2009 – Can you see the point …

… of what we have been doing today?

The bottom left half of the photo is the “before” and the bottom right half of the photo is the “after”. You can click on the image to enlarge it, and you’ll see exactly what I mean.

And isn’t it a good job that we did too? It helps when you have
1) the right tools
2) the right materials
3) congenial company
4) someone who knows what to do, how to do it and how to explain it to everyone else.
So much so, in fact, that I was bunged half a bag of opened chalk and at the next available opportunity I shall be not merely pointing the gap in the stones by the kitchen but also ripping out all of the pointing that I did in August and September with cement and replacing it with a proper chalk and sand mixture. I was ever so impressed with what we did today and how well it looked.

What also helps is having a hostess who is psychic. There I was, discussing with Mark and Terry the benefits of a spouse who brings around mugs of coffee at opportune intervals, and right at that very moment Liz stuck her head around the corner and asked “who wants a brew?”

It goes without saying that we were all well-fed and that there was vegan cake (ginger today). And I was even given a doggy-bag.
“You can come and help me again next time the weather is decent if you like” said Terry.
Is the Pope a Catholic?

Liz also gave me my shopping order from the UK and I now have plenty of vegan cheese. I have yet to find a source of that in any shop over here. That will keep me going until Christmas.

And tomorrow I have to telephone this guy about this proposed radio programme.

-4

Wednesday 18th November 2009 – At least I know now …

… why it is that my little room is getting so damp. I moved a pile of wood and the evidence is right before my eyes.

The soil has once more banked itself up against the kitchen wall (I keep digging it out every couple of years) and also, some of the pointing has fallen out and water is infiltrating between the stones.

I’m glad that I’m going round to Terry’s tomorrow morning to have a pointing lesson with Mark. I can see me putting this to use in a very short space of time.

In other news, I’m still tidying up the garden, albeit in a rather desultory fashion. Most of what I’ve been doing is to sort out the scrap wood into what is useable elsewhere and what is only fit for burning. I’m also pulling up brambles and nettles in a sort-of tidying up of the scrub for I need a place to put the compost bin that I bought a couple of weeks ago and everywhere else is full up.

And what else? Ahh yes. I’ve dug over the carrot patch and the potato patch and rescued some veg. I fact I had home-grown potatoes and carrots for tea just now. I’ve also tidied up Caliburn’s cab and cleaned the inside of the windscreen which was all greased over and filthy. We’re off to Liz and Terry’s tomorrow and Strawberry Moose has been promised a huge hug from Liz. He’s quite looking forward to it.

And in other news, Rhys and I have been looking at cement mixers on the internet – Rhys has to lay a concrete foundation for his new shed. But never mind the cement mixer, Harbour Freight has a heavy duty concrete vibrator for just €99. Now isn’t that right up Lee “I’m a potty-mouth” Prostitute’s alley?

-6

Tuesday 17th November 2009 – Today I’ve been fighting …

… my way into the lean-to at the other side of the house. It was full of bricks and wood that I threw in there when I had a tidy-up a couple of years ago. The plan is to put my plant-pot beichstuhl on the inside to the left of the door, put all my gardening tools to the right, and fill up the rest with wood that I’ll be cutting through the winter and of course all of the scrap wood from the roof that is too bad to reuse. There’s tons of that.

It’s not quite working out like this though as the best-laid plans of mice, men and yours truly have a habit of going gang awa’, but at least I’m making slow progress.

If you have been following my website over the years you will maybe remember that it was into here that I was planning to move when the idea of coming here full-time was first discussed. But a casual survey of the roof showed that two of the beams had rotted and when I came to replace them it turned out that seven needed to be replaced and while I was taking some of them out part of the wall collapsed. And it was just after having rebuilt the wall that I was taken ill, and that was that.

In other news, following the collapse of the English-language newspaper, the SMADC – the French Government body charged with regenerating the Combrailles – has been looking at other ways to communicate with the English-speaking community over here and one idea currently being batted around is to have a 15-minute English-speaking spot every Sunday on the local radio station. They are looking for a radio presenter for the programme (if it goes ahead) and it seems that someone has thrown my hat into the ring.

In other other news, it’s been announced that a 90 year-old German is to be tried for a war crime dating back over 60 years. This follows the trial of an 88 year-old the other day. Can you imagine the scene in the court …
“How do you plead?”
“Not Guilty“
“What evidence do you have to disprove the accusations?”
“Well none, actually. The last of my defence witnesses died in 1972“
So what chance of a fair trial are these people going to get? It’s like the case of Demianjuk – even the Zionists found him Not Guilty of war crimes but he’s being hawked around country after country until someone can find a crime to pin on him. It’s a total disgrace.

These two guys are being tried for a handful of civilian deaths, yet night after night after night members of Bomber Command of the British Royal Air Farce flew over Germany deliberately targeting innocent civilians and massacred them by their hundreds of thousands. When is someone going to round them up and put them on trial for the horrific war crimes that they committed? And how many Russian soldiers were prosecuted for the atrocious war crimes that they committed against the German civilian population as they overran the Eastern provinces of Germany?

History is indeed written by the victors and never by the victims. Bah! Humbug!

-5

Monday 16th November 2009 – This evening I had to go into Montaigut en Combraille …

… to return a guitar lead to Robert the drummer. I’d borrowed one from him to try out this Carlsbro combo that I bought. Where he lives is just 20 yards from the town church, and it was looking so nice bathed in the orange lamps of the square that I reckoned it was worth a photo.

Montaigut is a deceptive town, there’s a main road that runs right through the middle of it and that road carries a great deal of heavy traffic – it’s the N144, the main road between Montlucon and Clermont Ferrand. It looks dirty and dingy and full of abandoned shops and houses.

But the main road was only built through it in the 1920s. Prior to that all of the traffic passed through the real centre of the town, the centre that most people don’t even know exists. It was formerly a mediaeval walled city complete with castle (now long-demolished) and narrow winding mediaeval streets that are difficult to walk through, never mind drive through.

This morning I set the alarm – for the first time in 12 days – but it was still difficult to crawl out of my stinking pit. And I started on a desultory tidying-up. I’ve found some more scaffolding buried in the undergrowth and all kinds of bits and pieces. I’m busy sorting out the wood that we ripped off the roof, seeing what is salveable and what is just fit for burning.

I’ve also added another compost bin – we have a black plastic dustbin with an old caravan window over the top. You might be wondering what I’m doing with this but it concerns the beichstuhl arrangements. I shan’t go into the gory details as you are probably eating but if you remember back a few weeks ago, it involves a plant pot, a load of biodegradable bin liners and the fact that I’m a vegan. Keeping the soil fertility going is quite important.

Tonight is the 3rd Monday of the month and that’s when we meet at the hotel at St Eloy. A sign on the door said “back at 19:00” but by 19:40 we were fed up of waiting and so we went to the bar down the road instead. It seems that Mark is something of an expert at pointing stonework using chalk. Terry has asked him to give him some lessons so Mark is going round there on Thursday morning. I’m always keen to learn whatever I can at times like this so I’m going round there too. After all, my place is in need of a good pointing too and so I’ll make a point of learning all I can.

-6

Sunday 15th November 2009 – I had a few surprises today.

Firstly, on my way to the footy I came across a car stuck halfway down an embankment at the side of the road. And if there hadn’t have been a sapling in the way it would have been all the way down the embankment.

Now it’s true that where this incident took place is on a sharp bend, but the road between Teilhet and Menat is full of sharp bends and this one is no sharper than any of the others. So how come it was this particular bend at which it left the road?

Mind you, if it was going to leave the road, this is the best place to do it. The next sharp bend has a vertical drop of about 60 feet to the bottom.

I went down to look to make sure that there wasn’t anyone trapped in it – I mean, you never know. As it happened, it was empty but there was a lovely head-shaped impression on the windscreen just above the steering wheel. I bet someone has a headache today.

Secondly. Pionsat’s third XI not only had 11 players including a real goalkeeper, they had 3 replacements and two others who didn’t make the team. Not only that, the two officials who had been sulking over something that was said to them in a moment of depression, they had patched up their differences with the others and so we also had a trainer and a linesman! Not that it did them any good though – they still lost!

Thirdly, I’ve bought myself a bass amp and speaker – a Carlsbro 45-watt combo. It’s not in particularly good nick – there’s a loose connection at the input leads, one of the speaker wires isn’t soldered properly and a couple of the potentiometers (volume and tone controls) need changing, but it’s only a fiver or so for the bits and half an hour’s work. It looks like it’s been left for years in the damp and then taken outside where the condensation has got at it. It still managed to rock the house though when I plugged the Gibbon into it.

It wasn’t cheap – €90 in fact, but it was the cheapest combo that I’ve seen in this area. And believe me, there isn’t a great deal of choice. I still have my stack (a 200-watt custom-built transistorised amp, a 200-watt Marshall valve amp and a 1×18 and a 2×12 cabinets) back in Brussels that I never thought I’d ever use again.

The other surprise is something that I found quite touching. As you know, I follow the local football team and take pics and write match reports of the games. Some of them are being used on a calendar for fund-raising purposes for the club but what is really nice is that they took a photo of me today as they want to put that on the calendar too. There’s also a chatroom on the internet for French local football and it seems that I am mentioned quite a bit with regard to the website. It’s nice to know that people appreciate so much what I’ve been doing. But now that I’ve finished my attic I need to bring the site up-to-date.

In other news, Liz, Terry and I had quite a chat about this digger. We’ve decided that discretion is the better part of valour and I’m going to write to this guy in Benin, thank him for his efforts, but tell him that we fixed ourselves up locally with a digger so we won’t ba able to complete the purchase.

And tomorrow, I’m back at work. My holiday is over.

-5

Saturday 14th November 2009 – I’ve just got back …

… from the footy tonight. And for a change both sides won. Pionsat’s 2nd XI beat Condat Giat 1-0 and after that the 1st XI beat St Priest 3-1. What is even more astonishing is that following those results both of the clubs top their respective leagues. And who would have thought that after the mauling the 2nd XI received in the first game of the season against Pontaumur?

But at least the injury crisis is easing. Cedric reappeared up front for the 1st XI (and marked his reappearance with a goal) – the first time that he has played this season. And Michael was back in goal for the 2nd XI which means that with Matthieu not being on duty this weekend he’ll be keeping goal for the 3rd XI at Combronde tomorrow – the first time that they will have had a proper keeper for ages. I’m even told that they have a full complement of 14 (11 plus 3 subs) for the 3rd XI too and I haven’t seen that for months.

But we were lucky to get football today. This morning it was absolutely p155ing down at an incredible rate of knots and I was of the opinion that had it carried on, the games would have been off. But it brightened up a little in the afternoon while I was at the shops.

Talking of shopping, and talking of footy, I’m going to make another revision to my shopping schedule. Normally I go once a month to Montlucon for a mega-shop and the other Saturdays I just go into St Eloy. But Commentry (half-way between here and Montlucon) has some decent shops too – better than those in St Eloy but it’s farther away. Howver, some Saturdays there are two footy matches down the road – one at 18:30 and the other at 20:30 and I’m always in a rush for the first one of those but on the Saturdays when there is just one match the kickoff is at 20:00 and there’s plenty of time for that. So on those days, why don’t I go and do my shopping in Commentry in the early afternoon and then go the extra 10km to Neris-les-Bains and go for a swim and a shower? A good swim and a shower every fortnight will keep me clean and healthy.

And talking of footy again, I see that the Yellow Cowdenbeath stuffed Ingerlund tonight. Ha ha ha ha!

-6

Friday 13th November 2009 – It’s been a while …

… since I’ve posted a picture of my attic. Despite it being my week off I’ve been slowly moving things upstairs and I now have all my clothes up here.

You can see the blue fold-up wardrobe. I can’t remember where I bought that but it’s been hanging around for a while here and there about the place. I’m quite impressed with it – almost as impressed as I was with my galvanised steel dustbin – and I wish I had bought more than one.

It’s not quite big enough to put my jumper holder in, and it’s difficult to hang that anywhere given the sloping roof in here. That came from the USA in 1999 along with a hanging wardrobe that I have nowhere to put

There is also the white chest of drawers that I bought from the brocante at Virlet a while back.

Also in shot is the green curtain that keeps out the draughts. I have two of those and they both came from the Dunns menswear shop in Crewe in the late 1970s. My brother worked there when they were having a major refit and the changing rooms received a makeover. The old curtains that had been there longer than anyone could remember were consigned to the dustbin and I liberated them. They are good-quality heavy stuff and ideal for here. Not very colour-co-ordinated, but I have some nice dark blue curtains with lining back in Brussels.

In other news, the plot sickens with regard to this digger. I’ve now received an e-mail from “Mr Ben” who runs “Le Garage Ben” – email address “garageben@ …. errrr ….hotmail.fr” – (now isn’t that a surprise?) and he wants me to confirm delivery details. He won’t take a cheque but he’ll risk the cash even though he was robbed after making a delivery a while back.

And now I see the scam unfolding – he’ll get the cash for the digger and then claim that we robbed him afterwards and took the money back. He’ll have witnesses to prove it, of course, and he’ll get the police to recover the digger and meanwhile keep the money. Then they will go off and sell it again.

-4

EPIC HALL

The Poisoned Pen (or Poisoned Chalice, more like) – or my relentless struggle against reality