Thursday 5th May 2016 – ONE THING THAT I HAVE LEARNT …

… from these most extraordinary nocturnal rambles that I’ve been having is that when you lash out in the middle of the night, you really do lash out.

There I was, in Stalbridge Road in Crewe having a crafty little doze at the side of the road in Caliburn when someone’s hand sneaked in through the open window to grab a small box that was on the passenger seat beside me. I grabbed hold of the hand, broke a finger, exited via the door of Caliburn and gave this person a resounding kick up the backside, which sent my perfusion support, side table and empty bottle of Sprite flying across my little hospital room – and hurting me on the foot in the process.

And so we learn. And this might also explain a few of the cut and bruises that I find upon myself every now and again.

This wasn’t all that happened in the night either. Nerina and I were walking along Rope Lane in Shavington near to the Vine Inn, disagreeing with each other as usual, when this monstrous kind of animal turned up and started harassing me. I chased it away much to Nerina’s disappointment, but this animal quickly showed us why it was so monstrous and as you are probably eating your breakfast right now, I won’t go into details.

As for my day today, this morning was as usual. Dozing in bed and going to the bathroom was how I spent much of my day. And in answer to a question posed by a keen reader, I have been weighed this morning, and I’ve lost 8 kilos. I don’t recommend this illness, whatever it is that I have, as a weight loss remedy however

By though lunchtime, we were off again, and I do mean off. The meals came round and the very smell of the cooking is enough to set me off again and so I beat a hasty retreat into the small common room here.

A nurse brought me another Sprite (last night’s was delicious and I enjoyed it so much) and here I stayed until about 15:30. And strangely enough, I felt so much better and that three hours was probably amongst the most pleasant that I have had since I arrived here last week.

Eventually though, I needed the bathroom and so off I went back to my room. However, the atmosphere was quite oppressive all the same and so by 17:00 I was back again in the common room. I stuck it out for about two hours before I had to go back to the bathroom and by then I had come apart again and I was so depressed.

But at least one thing is clear, and that is that there’s some kind of odour or atmosphere in my room and that’s what’s making me feel like this. When I’m elsewhere (like in the common room) I feel so much brighter and so much more alive, and so I’m going to decamp to there tomorrow as soon as I awake, and see how I feel. If it doesn’t work, then I’m no worse off but I reckon that the change of scenery – any change of scenery – will do me good.

My room-mate left hospital today so I’m on my own tonight. I’m looking forward to a decent night’s sleep (at long last) which will make me feel even better, but I bet that something will come along to muck it all about.

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Wednesday 4th May 2016 – HAPPY STAR WARS DAY EVERYONE

May the fourth be with you.

Well, it’s certainly not with me because I’ve had yet another horrible day. Basically, just transpose everything, including the bad bits of it, onto today and you will have everything that you need to know.

There were however a couple of slight changes. Firstly, I was on my travels again, to the ear specialist for her to look inside my ear with this bubble thing that I have inside. It’s definitely a little water in the middle ear so they are going to give me a spray to hopefully clear it. But it’s sad that I’m not in that section of the hospital on a permanent basis because there are some nurses there who are stunners! Any one of them could soothe my fevered brow.

There’s a doctor who is the spitting image of Harry Potter in that section, but I don’t fancy the idea of him getting out his wand and waving about all over me.

Secondly, I ate a little today. Half a dozen dry biscuits of the sort that I bought in the Netherlands the other week. They slowed everything down, but unfortunately didn’t stop it. But still, I had to try it.

Thirdly, as I type this entry, I’m drinking a freezing cold (and I know that it is because it’s crammed full of ice cubes) lemonade drink. I probably shouldn’t, but the way I look at it, nothing else is staying in so there’s no reason why I shouldn’t try this. But I really had a craving (and no, Rhys, I’m not pregnant).

They are quite worried about me, so it seems. Not eating and drinking goes against their principles and I’ve been coupled up to a perfusion of a glucose-base to try to give me some nutrients and liquids. But, as you might have guessed …

Last night’s travels (because we seem to be back in it again) were quite interesting as they all revolved around transport. At one stage (and I’m not sure when and why) I was running (yes, running!) for a bus and it was one of those ultra-realistic moments that I found hard to understand wasn’t a dream when I awoke. But that must be a good sign if I feel like running, even in the dead of night.
My father put in an appearance too. It was winter and there was snow everywhere and his car had broken down but a friend had fixed it and he was now mobile. He came round to see me for something and we were go go out in my car, which was a blue and white Mark III Zodiac but for some reason it wouldn’t start. “I know a good mechanic” said father, but then we realised that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea for this guy was the police mechanic and we were up to stuff that we didn’t want the police to know.
I was also in Canada and a friend and I were working on a car. He told me of the dangers of lying on tools and things underneath cars but he lay down right on my keys, the snap-hook broke and the pointy bit pierced him in the thigh. I piled him (and his daughter and a friend of hers) into my car, a red Mark I Escort, and we had to reverse out of a tight corner of a cul-de-sac. I heard a bang, looked behind me and there was an old 1930s Austin 7 on the pavement. At first I thought that I had reversed into it, but then I saw that a dent that it had, marked in red paint, was a good few inches higher than the protruding bits of my car so I realised that it couldn’t have been me, I had just hit the kerb. And so I drove off but this road took me right through the middle of a street party. I had to slow right down and my passenger got out of the car to speak to people, as he is wont to do. He began to tell everyone what had gone on down at the end of the cul-de-sac and I rather wished that he hadn’t as I was absolutely convinced that it was nothing to do with me.

And the lemonade was delicious. I’ll tell you tomorrow if it was worth it.

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Tuesday 3rd May 2016 – AND JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT …

… that things couldn’t be any worse, we had today.

I woke up at about 07:00 and my fist stop was the bathroom where, to go with the vomiting sessions that I’ve had, the other end is now doing the same. And so all that I’ve done is to alternate between sleeping and dashing to the bathroom for one reason or another.

And eating? On the basis of what can’t come out if it doesn’t go in, I’ve eaten (and drunk) nothing today – just a few sips of water. But that’s not worked at all well. I’ve had loads of people come to see me, had loads of pills and tablets, but none of this has worked. I had to give a “stool sample” so they handed me a little container. Now I know that I’m good, but I’m not that good – reminiscing about the sign that I once saw in a public lavatory somewhere –
“we aim to please. You aim too, please”
but skill counted for nothing and in the end they gave me the missing part of the appliance.

With all of this going on, I’m still here. They won’t be heaving me out for a bit, I reckon. Not until I’m feeling more like it anyway. I shall have to make the best of it I suppose.

I was on my travels again too. I knew a little trick about how to make a Ford Cortina Mark IV shorter without cutting the chassis, and I’d done a blue one. So now I was doing a beige one and filming it for the TV but somewhere along the line I’d made a mistake and whilst the front had gone okay I had messed up at the back end and this wasn’t too impressive for television.
I also had the dubious pleasure of watching my chimney fall down. I was looking at it thinking that this won’t be long for this world and it will make a mess when it falls when suddenly the chimney pots slid off. I was half-expecting to hear a crunch as they fell onto a passing car but instead I heard the reassuring crash as they fell into the roadway. And then the two pillars fell, sliding down the roof into the passageway at the side. I looked over the wall into the street and there were two policemen on pushbikes eyeing it up – we were on Chester Bridge in Crewe as it happened. I knew that I had to go down and clear it up and admit that it was all mine and the sooner that I did it the better.
I was also in my house too but it was laid out more like Lieneke’s. I heard a big diesel engine come up to my house so I went into the front room to see. It was a big digger passing by between my house and my barn so I wondered what was going on. I nipped out to see but to my surprise it wasn’t the outside of my house but somewhere that I didn’t recognise at all.

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Monday 2nd May 2016 – I’M BACK …

… on the antibiotics again.

And by pure coincidence, I’m back on my nocturnal rambles too.

Last night I started off in my house (but really it was the kitchen and back room of our old house in Vine Tree Avenue). I was in the kitchen with our old collie, Jessie, and my mother and brother were in the other room. I Wished that they would both clear off because I wanted to go to bed for it was late. But clear off they just would not and time drew on and on and eventually the stove burnt out, with just a red glow from the embers.
From here I found myself back in Nantwich, Market Street to be precise, and James Bond was there following a lady up the street for some good reason. I’m not sure why, but it ended up with her turning on hand the pair of them having a good old scrap in which, for once, Bond was not having the upper hand.
Still in Nantwich, there were three girls called Liz who used to hang around together (as if life isn’t confusing enough) and I knew them all very well because in my early 20s I was engaged to one of them and the second had a brother who had a big Velocette motorcycle who once rang me up to apologise when he bought a Honda 4 instead. But returning to our ramble, the one who was interesting me last night and I’ve no idea why was the quiet little blond of the three.
Harry Potter featured in it too at one stage. He was with Tom Riddle and Riddle had put something in Potter’s luggage chest – a weird thing called love, and this was confusing Potter who didn’t understand the feeling, and confused Riddle too who of course having never experienced it himself, didn’t understand the power of the emotion

And talking of nocturnal rambles, I must have broken all records with the number of rambles that I made down the corridor last night. I lost count at about 10.

As for the rest of the day, it can’t be far off the worst of my life. I didn’t eat breakfast, only barely managed lunch and then left my tea tea. I passed most of the day asleep or dozing totally oblivious to whatever was going on.

Round about 19:30 I came to realise who grateful I was that I hadn’t eaten much because whatever had gone in then came out in the most dramatic fashion – with me ending up calling the boys on the great white telephone.

So basically, that was that. A horrible day and it goes without saying that I haven’t gone home yet. They are keeping me in for observation and there’s a lot to be observing right now.

And I do feel ill.

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Sunday 1st May 2016 – THEY FINISHED …

… the second round of chemo much earlier yesterday and so at about 22:30 I was able to settle down to go to sleep. In fact, I fell asleep halfway through one of the James Lee Wong films starring Boris Karloff in the title role.

But I wasn’t asleep for long. Not just tossing and turning either but my right had swelled up quite dramatically and there was a procession of nurses and doctors who came to see it. But I can do without all of this, I can tell you.

I’ve also developed a kind of air-bubble in my left ear too. I’ve no idea where that has come from but they will get a specialist to look at it tomorrow.

By breakfast time, the swelling had gone down enough that I could at least make a fist, but I’m off my food yet again. Jam and soya drinks are now on my proscribed list so you can see that things are definitely looking down. Lunch however was quorn fillets with potatoes in a tomato and mushroom sauce, and I enjoyed that very much.

I also enjoyed the shower that I had although we are going through another session of where I don’t want to look in the mirror to see what they have done to me.

This afternoon, it goes without saying that I crashed out. That’s the usual procedure following chemotherapy as I know from last time. But they did wake me up to give me two pochettes of blood. I suppose they think that that might revitalise me but the way that I’m feeling, it’s going to take more than two pochettes of blood.

They have given me a tablet to prevent bits of me swelling up, but what it is in fact is a diuretic. Every time I drink something, then 5 minutes later I have to dash to the bathroom. What a silly thing to give me so close to bed-time.

So if things go according to plan, I’ll be leaving here tomorrow so I’d better have an early night if I can. But we’ve all heard about plans before, haven’t we, so I’m saying nothing at all.

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Saturday 30th April 2016 – BY THE TIME …

… that they had finished with my chemotherapy last night it was 01:30. And then slowly but intermittently I could drift off to sleep.

In between a couple of trips down the corridor I remember going on a nocturnal ramble or two with some of my 3D characters. Clearly they are all feeling lonely and left out these days.

But this morning I had the nausea, a fever and the dizzy spells, to such an extent that I didn’t feel like my breakfast. And you know that there must be something seriously wrong with me if I’m off my food. In fact it took me until about 11:30 until I started to feel better and just half an hour later I managed to demolish my lunch. Clearly much better.

This afternoon I’ve been drifting in and out of sleep, presumably to make up for the couple of bad nights that I’ve been having. I’ve not done very much at all. But now, even as we speak, I’m on the second round of chemotherapy so I hope that this all goes according to plan.

So what will tomorrow bring? Not a lot, I reckon. It’s Sunday and a day of rest.

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Friday 29th April 2016 – JUST AS I EXPECTED …

… I didn’t have a wink of sleep last night.

My room-mate does snore, but nothing like as loudly as my previous ones. It was quite an acceptable level in fact. But he fell asleep with his television on and that meant that I didn’t drop off, and then I lay awake all night thinking about my operation.

I remember 07:00 coming along but then, as you might expect, with zero hour of 08:00 coming along, I dropped off to sleep. So I was rudely awakened. They offered me a wheelchair which I accepted, and then I was pushed for miles and miles around the hospital to the operating theatre.

I managed to avoid a panic attack although it was quite interesting watching the heartbeat monitor go up from 89 to, at one stage, 116. But I was draped in covers so I couldn’t see what was going on and apart from two small occasions, I didn’t feel a thing. In fact, if I were honest, it was much less painful than fitting a drain.

But here’s a thing. I asked them what would happen about taking it out when it’s all over and the answer is that they don’t. It’s here for life “just in case”, and it will need cleaning every three months. So my GP is going to have her work cut out with me.

Another thing that I found out is that if I have sex, I need to wear a condom otherwise I’ll be giving my partner a chemotherapy injection. Mind you, the chances of that ever happening, as I explained to the social worker who came to see me, are somewhat less than zero so it’s not going to be an issue.

She also mentioned that when I leave here, I won’t be going back to Sint Pieters but to the Pellenberg campus which is well out of town in the countryside. Nice and clean and green, but miles away from all facilities. I hope that there’s at least a supermarket and a fritkot nearby.

The chemotherapy was a nightmare (or, should I say, is a nightmare because I’m still plugged in right now). They start off slowly and gradually increase the pace, and I told them not to go beyond 50ml per hour because of the horrible side-effects that I had last time. But of course, no-one listens to an idiot and they soon had it wound up to 90ml/hour. And sure enough, I had the freezing cold, the violent shakes and the nausea and they had to come a-running to deal with the issues because I wasn’t prepared for it to drag on like last time.

They had to disconnect me for a couple of hours so that I could calm down and let my body resettle, and then start up with a limit of 50ml/hour. So it’s going to take ages for the stuff to filter into me but it’s their own fault; had they stuck to the 50ml/hour they wouldn’t have had the couple of hours interruptions.

Once things were back under way, I crashed out for a couple of hours and missed my tea. But they did bring it round later once I’d woken up so that was OK.

But I didn’t mention lunch. I had the dietician around this morning too and we had a good long chat. So for lunch I had boiled potatoes with a huge plate of vegetables, a bowl of vegetable soup and some soya desserts. It was delicious too – I really have an appetite for boiled potatoes these days.

So I’m not sure when the chemotherapy will finish, but I’m going to bed now to watch a film. I saw Inspector Hornleigh on Holiday last night but I’ve no idea what I’ll be seeing tonight. But here’s a thing. I had a close look at the three Inspector Hornleigh films and in each one, some young girl of about 11 or 12 has a walk-on part. And it’s the same girl in each film. She’s not credited in the cast, but I was wondering whether she’s the daughter of the producer or somebody similar. That kind of thing is not uncommon in the acting world – after all, Christopher Columbus’ daughters, Eleanor and Violet, had walk-on roles in several of the Harry Potter films.

Anyway, tomorrow is a new day and we’ll see what that brings me. It surely can’t be as bad as today, can it.

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Thursday 28th April 2016 – IT LOOKS AS IF …

… we’re getting back in the old routine again, at least as far as sleeping goes. I had yet another night of tossing and turning and only intermittent sleep and that’s disappointed me.

And I was thinking too, the other day, that with having stopped the Montlucon medication, these exotic, vivid and somewhat outrageous dreams that I’ve been having just recently have stopped too. But that’s not the case, because I was off again. And a welcome “hello” to Caroline who made her debut last night, accompanying me on a visit to a huge house on the edge of town (although I’ve no idea which town) in connection with someone who has appealed against a rating assessment on the grounds that she had been assessed as the occupier of a discrete property rather than part of a joint property. And so we went round, and it’s true to say that there was a big house that was divided into flats, and she was the occupier of one of those flats. However, there was an individual house there that caught my eye, not because of the house itself, but parked outside and clearly the worse for having stood for 30 years or so, was an old white Mini. In fact, it wasn’t a Mini at all but an Austin Seven, which was what the original Minis were called when they first came on the market and its registration number (576BMR) showed it, according to my 1958 Motor Dealer handbook which I had somehow managed to bring with me on my travels during the night (it’s actually upstairs in the attic of my place in France right now) showed that it had been registered in 1957, which meant that it was actually a pre-production factory demonstrator, as rare as hen’s teeth, so you’ve no idea just how excited I was by this find and I was determined to buy it.
And as we have said once or twice, sometimes, after a trip down the corridor or whatever, I can step right back into a nocturnal ramble right where I left off at a previous moment. And sure enough, there were Caroline and I in a car spares shop, buying plugs, points, a condenser, plug leads, distributor cap and all kinds of things for the car ready to have a good go at starting it up.

For breakfast, I didn’t have any fruit juice or soya yoghurt, but I finished off the last of the soya dessert instead. And then I came back, had a good wash and packed all of my possessions ready to leave. I paid the bill for my accommodation but I couldn’t get into the shower as it seemed to be in constant use.

On the bus on the way here, I realised that I’ve forgotten all of the stuff that was in the fridge back at Sint Pieters. I’ll have to remember all of that for when they throw me out of here, and go back to pick it up.

I’m now installed in my room with a much more sociable companion than last time (I’ll tell you tomorrow whether he snores or not) and I’ve been for my x-rays. They sent a wheelchair for me but badger that for a game of soldiers – I’m not dead or dying quite yet so I insisted on walking.

Much to my dismay, I have a male nurse looking after me – no young and nubile Danish student nurse unfortunately. Things had better start looking up for me tomorrow or I’ll be insisting on a change of hospital. What’s the point of being in a hospital if you aren’t going to be surrounded by a bevy of beautiful student nurses? But Hannelore the doctor is in charge of me again so that’s one thing for which I’m grateful because she can soothe my fevered brow any time she likes, and I’ve had several visits from other members of staff already. I’m certainly not going to be lonely.

But tomorrow morning at 08:30 is D-Day. This is when I’m having my operation so I mustn’t eat or drink anything after midnight. I’m not looking forward to this one little bit and I wish that I didn’t have to go through it. Everyone is doing their best to reassure me but I’m probably going to have a panic attack or something – I can feel it coming on already.

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Wednesday 27th April 2016 – TODAY DIDN’T GO …

… according to plan.

And I suspected that from the very beginning with having gone back to the restless nights again. I didn’t have a very good sleep and I was in and out of the bathroom a couple of times too.

I vaguely remember going on a little ramble during the night too – I was in Crewe up at the junction between Nantwich Road and Gresty Road with my mother and my youngest sister – although it wasn’t her at all but Zero, she who has featured on these pages a couple of times. But what we were all doing there I have no idea at all.

The coffee this morning wasn’t as good as it usually is and so I confined myself to just one mug. And I forgot one of my pills today so I had to take it later. I hope that that’s not going to cause a problem.

And once breakfast was over, I collected my now-dry washing from the laundry room and then came back here to tidy up my room. I’ve thrown out tons of stuff and I’m now back to having stuff of more-manageable proportions.

At 13:15 I set off to the hospital for my interview with the girl at Social Services. But that didn’t go according to plan either. That’s because I found out that I’ve been summoned back to the hospital tomorrow for 14:00. They need to x-ray my chest before they fit the chemo port and as my surgery is timed for 08:30 on Friday, then it’s Thursday afternoon. I have to stay the night too, so this means that I’ll be leaving here tomorrow morning. There won’t be enough time to start searching for accommodation, so they are going to negotiate for me to come back here for two weeks.

Actually, that will fit in nicely with my plans. My friend Hans is coming to Brussels for a week at the beginning of May so I’ll be here to meet him. And it will also give me an opportunity to recover from the extremes of the treatment. And then for the remaining two weeks of the month I can go back to France and fetch a few things that I need. I’ll be struggling for clothes of course but there’s a washing machine here and I’m sure that I’ll manage.

So having walked all of the way to the hospital, I turned round and walked all the way back, stopping to buy some fruit on the way.

For tea tonight I had another one of those falafel bread things with a portion of chips. And that was rather chaotic. Just one person working in there tonight and there were about 12 people in the seating bit and 5 of us at the takeaway counter. The poor guy was running around like a headless chicken and ended up by burning the chips and having to start again. But at €5:50 for a huge tea like they serve up there, it was worth waiting for.

I also had the same pudding as last night – four slices of the ginger spicy cake thing topped with the soya cream stuff. And it was just as delicious as it was yesterday.

So tonight I’ll be having an early night. And then after breakfast I’ll have a shower and change my clothes. I need to look pretty for tomorrow at the hospital. After all, the girl at Social Services told me today how sweet and nice I was. I mustn’t disappoint her, even though she clearly doesn’t know me very well.

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Tuesday 26th April 2016 – I DIDN’T HAVE …

… such a good night last night as I did the previous night. Mind you, having said that, compared to some that I’ve had in the recent past, it was a dramatic improvement and two or three weeks ago, I would have been quite happy with a night like last night.

I didn’t go to bed too early, and didn’t watch a film. I was asleep quite quickly but spent some of the night tossing and turning around trying to find a comfortable position. I had a stroll down the corridor at some time during the night but it didn’t inconvenience me too much and I was wide awake by 07:30.

After breakfast (and two cups of really nice coffee again) I came back here but was unceremoniously thrown out of my room for 15 minutes by the cleaner who wanted to give my room a good going-over. I went to the office and gave my notice in for Friday morning when I’m heading back to the hospital for the next session of chemo.

And I’m not looking forward to that in the slightest. That’s because I’m feeling quite well at the moment and the chemo sessions will knock me back again. But as I said the other day, I’ll just have to get used to it.

I bought a token for the washing machine too and did all of the washing that’s been building up. Hopefully it’ll all be dry by Friday morning so I’ll have clean clothes to go into hospital with.

Down to the shops for lunchtime and I did remember the spicy sliced cake. They didn’t have any of the soya vanilla custard substitute but instead I bought a pack of four of these vanilla-flavoured soya desserts. For pudding tonight, I had four slices of the cake and tipped one of these pots of vanilla over the top – and it was delicious. I’ll eat that again. It went down nicely after my stir-fry vegetables and rice. A meal fit for a King, and you can tell that I’m feeling much better with my appetite being back, and in spades too!

As for the house-hunting, nothing happened today. That’s because I’ve been summoned to see the Social Services people tomorrow. After everything that I said yesterday, it seems that they have a couple of possibilities for me and we have to discuss them.

So things might be starting to happen in that direction. Watch this space.

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Monday 25th April2016 – NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT!

I was in bed at a reasonable time last night, watching a Bulldog Drummond film, when I fell asleep after about 10 minutes or so.

And that was my lot until about 06:30. I slept right through everything and didn’t feel a thing.

Even better, after I’d been for a stroll down the corridor, I went straight back to sleep and that was that until the alarm went off at 08:00. Totally painless, I have to say and I felt so much better after that.

The coffee at breakfast was the best yet and so even though it’s not a Sunday I treated myself to a second mug and took it back to my room. It went down a treat while I was having a play around on the laptop.

I managed to go out to buy my lunch but it was touch and go because we had a rainstorm at lunchtime. It just held off long enough for me to nip out and back – and I forgot to buy any pudding. I fancied one of these sliced spicy cakes the same that I bought at the hospital the other day. But there you go, I suppose. I’ll have to remember for tomorrow. I wonder what it would be like with some vanilla-flavoured soya dessert.

Tonight, though, I wasn’t so lucky and I was caught in a rainstorm. It’s not the first time that it’s rained while I’ve been here, but it’s the first time that I’ve been caught in it. With having no cash handy, I had to go to the bank and on the way back I stopped at the fritkot for a veggieburger and chips. And although it was totally delicious, I didn’t realise that they put tomato sauce on the burger and I hate that. But I’ll remember that, and tell them next time that I go there, because there will indeed be a next time. I certainly had my money’s worth at €5:00.

And so tomorrow, I’m starting house-hunting. I need to find a place to live and to find one quickly. The girl at the Social Services seems to have run aground in her efforts and my communications with her today have been a bit, well, difficult.

It looks like I’m on my own.

But I’m not in a very good humour today. In fact, I’m feeling a little depressed. As I started typing this, it was four years to the very minute that I was landing at Montreal airport on my way to an icebreaker out in the Gulf of St Lawrence.

What has depressed me is that it’s usually about now that I’m planning my autumn adventures in Canada. But God knows when I’m going to get there again.

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Sunday 24th April 2016 – SO MUCH FOR THAT THEN!

There I was last night wishing for a good night’s sleep.

So shall I tell you what actually happened?

I was in bed at 23:15 and started to watch the rest of the film that I missed the other night. That finished at about 24:00 and I settled down for the night after that. By 02:00 I still hadn’t dropped off and I wasn’t looking forward to the rest of the night, but I must have dozed off at some point because at 03:30 I was wide awake again.

And that’s how I stayed until 07:00 or thereabouts, listening to the birds starting up at about 05:30 and watching the day slowly dawn a short while later. But at some point after 07:00 I must have gone off again because I suddenly sat bolt upright, wide awake again at 08:50.

I’d been on my travels sometime during the night too. I was in a children’s home somewhere and all of the kids were very badly dressed, due to yet another funds crisis in Social Services. Anyone who had an appointment or interview had to ask in advance and some clean tidy clothes would be found, but these had to be handed back afterwards. It was a very oppressive regime. But what in fact was happening was that people who needed clean, tidy clothes had to go to the back of the queue and people who didn’t need them for an interview or appointment was given them instead. And those who received the clean clothes became members of the oppressive regime, kicking down the others in the home. It was just like life in the European Union.

Once I was up and about, I went for breakfast and then went out for my Sunday baguette and raisin rolls, and I even treated myself to a second coffee to go with the raisin rolls. And how nice that all was too.

During the day, I did next-to-nothing, taking it easy. In fact, the only excitement that I had was making my lunchtime butty. As for catching up with my sleep, I just had a couple of five-minute sessions here and there.

This evening I went for a long walk. I’d seen a pizza place away in the distance and seeing as how Sunday is pizza night, I went off to investigate. But it was more of a restaurant than a take-away place and this was reflected in the prices. I’m running out of money until I can get to a bank (cash isn’t necessary in Belgium – cards are accepted everywhere and there is no minimum spend that I have seen) so I abandoned that idea and headed off back into town to my usual pizza takeaway.

When I arrived back here, I noticed that I was a little short of breath but I didn’t have any discomfort. I was impressed with how I’d managed my walk tonight – this was much more like things ought to be, although it’s taken ages to get up to this state after my chemotherapy.

The downside is that I’m going back next weekend for more chemo and so I’ll be back to square one again, just after I’ve been feeling so good (well, comparatively). But this is going to be a regular occurrence so I might just as well get used to it.

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Saturday 23rd April 2016 – I MANAGED …

… about 10 minutes of film-watching last night in bed and that was my lot. Out like a light.

I vaguely remember going to the bathroom some time during the night but the next thing that I remembered was waking up at about 07:30. If I’d been somewhere on my travels during the night, I remember nothing whatever about it.

The shower room was free when I came back from breakfast so I grabbed my stuff and gave myself a really good going-over. I need to make myself look pretty and smell nice as I was having company later. Alison came round and brought with her my 20 tins of baked beans and a bottle of malt vinegar from the UK. Now I’m all set up for a real and proper tea one night a week while I’m here.

After running the stuff up to Caliburn we went for a walk around the Botanical Gardens here (which really are beautiful) and then went for a coffee and a really good chat. On our way back, we stumbled across a rommelmarkt and you all know how fond I am of a good rummage around in other people’s rubbish. But the only thing that caught my mind was an old Vespa scooter which, unfortunately, wasn’t for sale. It was the stall holder’s personal transport. But it did plant another idea in my mind.

With being out and about with Alison this morning, I had a rather late lunch and then a nice relaxing afternoon making the most of the free time that I have at the moment.

Now, I can’t remember whether I mentioned the Indian takeaway.

When I was out and about on my travels the other day I came across an Indian takeaway, and with Saturday usually being curry night when I’m back home, I decided to treat myself at the takeaway. I had a vegetarian biryani and garlic naam bread and it was delicious. The biryani was hot and spicy, not at all like a mainland-European meal at all, and the naam was delicious even though it was a little disappointing in size. Still, you can’t have everything.

Sunday is a day of rest and so I’ve not set the alarm. And with having a bit of a late night tonight (it’s already 23:00) I’m hoping that I can have a really good sleep tonight and only wake up when I’m good and ready.

That means of course that I’ll be in and out of the bathroom all night, and someone will be shouting up and down the corridor at about 06:00. That’s what usually happens, isn’t it?

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Friday 22nd April 2016 – AND SO DESPITE EVERYTHING …

… that I said on Wednesday about late nights, it was 01:00 in the morning this morning and I was still up and about. I could have stayed up longer too, but it was getting a little bit ridiculous to be up and about just for the sake of it, so I settled down in my bed and waited for sleep to come.

And come it did too, sooner or later. And I remember absolutely nothing about the night. I didn’t even have to leave my bed. I slept right through until the alarm went off and how I wish that I could sleep like that every day.

I’d run out of fruit juice, so I remembered this morning, and so I had to make do without any for breakfast. And talking of breakfast, we were just three in the dining room this morning (although some new people have arrived today too).

After breakfast, I had some bad news. A phone call in fact. “This is reception here. Just to remind you that your stay here ends on Monday morning. Thank you for being with us”.

That’s bad news as I was banking on something rather more long-term than this as you know. Anyway, I’ve managed to negotiate a stay until I go into hospital and then I really shall be on my own when I come out.

And my luck didn’t change much either when I was out. Just round the corner is an old building that looks as if it’s just been renovated. And there in the window was a sign “Rooms to let – €385 per month plus €65 charges”. That kind of place is well within my budget and so I made further enquiries and to my dismay, viewing is on 30th April – when I’m in hospital. That kind of place would have been ideal for me to stay.

As I mentioned yesterday, I’ve had a quiet day today and not done much at all. But tonight I found a new eatery. I had a huge lump of bread filled with salad and falafel, together with a bag of chips and it all came to €7:50. There was enough there to keep me going for a week and it was delicious too. I’ve added it on to my list of places.

And now I really am going to go to bed. I need a good sleep because I need to have a good clean-up tomorrow morning. Alison is coming shopping in the town and so we’ve arranged to meet up for a coffee. I need to look my best, if I can, as well as to be on my best behaviour if I’m being seen in the company of others.

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Thursday 21st April 2016 – BACK IN THE HOSPITAL AGAIN!

But I nearly wasn’t! I vaguely remember the alarm going off at 08:00 and had it not had a snooze setting to ring again 10 minutes later I would be still asleep now, I reckon.

Mind you, this isn’t a surprise. Although I was soon asleep after watching another Bulldog Drummond film, I was awake again at 00:35 and once more at 03:00. And that time, I was awake for hours, even watching dawn slowly filter its way through the curtains. But I must have gone back to sleep at some point, if only to sleep through the alarm.

Mind you, I was on my travels during the night, and strangely enough, I wasn’t appearing in my first voyage. I vaguely remember a young, rather inept parish priest who was continually having difficulties with life in his parish, to such an extent that his bishop and a canon came down to see him. At some time during the proceedings the bishop and his canon ended up locked in the police cells due to something that had happened involving the priest, and it was up to the priest to convince the authorities to release them, not that anyone had any optimism that he might be successful based upon his track record to date.
But once I had gone back to sleep during the morning, I found myself with my brother (and I do wish that my family would stop becoming involved in my adventures). He had a BMC 1300, the same metallic green colour of my Vanden Plas and it had broken down somewhere in a small French town. He’d pushed it into the town square and left it outside some friendly person’s house and that was where it stayed. I was then roped into have a look at it. The first time that we went down there to see it, I had a good poke around and couldn’t find any reason why it wouldn’t go – it all seemed fine to me – and the friendly neighbour made us both a cup of coffee. The second time we went, I could still find nothing wrong with it and this time someone (a friend of ours but I don’t know who it was) brought us a couple of huge plates of macaroni. There was so much that I hardly made a dent in mine and in the end we left out plates on the dinner table of this neighbour. On making enquiries of my brother, it turned out that what had happened to the car was that one of the driveshafts – the left-hand one – had tightened up. I immediately suspected the CV joint but that wasn’t something that we were going to fix then and there, so I needed to go and fetch my trailer and hope that wecould winch it aboard. I reached in through the window of this house for our plates, passing my brother’s plate to him, but I upset mine and half of the macaroni went all over the floor.I apologised to the neighbour about that but he was quite OK about it, which was quite nice of him. And then I asked my brother about what he intended to do about thanking the neighbour who had kept an eye on his car for him, made us both coffee and so on. My brother didn’t think that he needed to do anything about it, which I thought was rather mean of him. I reckoned that a bottle of whisky was a good idea, but then again, it wasn’t really a concern of mine.

At breakfast this morning, we were a strange crowd. There was only one person whom I recognised, and all oth the others seemed to be quite young couples. We seem to have had a dramatic change of inhabitants overnight. And whoever made the coffee this morning – it was nothing like as good as usual.

I was on the bus at 09:45, sitting next to the girl with the viola whom I had seen on the bus last time that I’d come here. And by 10:10 I was at the reception. It didn’t take them long to see me either and I’ve had a drain fitted in my arm. They also weighed me, and it seems that I’ve gained 3 kg since last time. That doesn’t sound right to me.

They gave me a blood test and while waiting for the results, Sophie the trainee doctor who had seen me last week called me in to see her. After giving me a good going-over (including another feel of my groin) she told me that I need to come back next Thursday 28th April. They’ll give me a series of X-rays and fit a chemo port in my chest, then on Friday I’ll start my next session of chemotherapy. I’ll be here, apparently, until the following Monday and believe me, I’m not looking forward to all of that – not in the least. 5 days – and 4 nights – in hospital. I hope I have a room-mate who doesn’t snore!

Another task that needed to be done was to give me a scan of my legs. This swelling isn’t improving and they are worried that I might have another nomadic blood clot. But it seems to be a problem about water retention. Perhaps I should ask Terry to give me a tap on the ankles.

But although it doesn’t seem much like it, there is good news. Firstly, my blood count is at 9.1 and so I didn’t need a transfusion. That cheered me up a little. As did the news that the mouth-wash and the anti-biotics can be stopped as soon as the supplies run out, which will be in about 2 days, I reckon.

I wasn’t in the mood for jam butties for lunch so I settled on a visit to the shop in the foyer. They have a selection, would you believe, of vegan food and although the chick pea salad looked vaguely interesting, I settled on a vegan spiced loaf. I ate half of it and the rest I can add to the supplies up here.

On the way back here (I walked back, by the way) I found a wallet on the car park. I was tempted to take it to the police but I’m trying to keep a very low profile while I’m here because, as regular readers of this rubbish will remember, I’ve had more than my fair share of run-ins with Belgium’s finest in the past so I don’t want to go looking for interaction, so I brought it into the hospital downstairs and handed it in at the desk, giving a little white lie that I had found it outside. The net result will be the same, in that seeing as the owner’s identity card is in there, it will find its way home eventually. But just without my involvement.

Leuven was packed tonight, I don’t know why, and I had to wait 25 minutes for my pizza to be cooked, such was the pressure in the kitchen. And it wasn’t as good as usual either, but I suppose that they were rather rushed.

So once again, it’s an early night for me and then a relaxing day with nothing planned for tomorrow. So I’ll have a nice quiet day totally free of interruptions. Just you watch someone come along now and spoil it.

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