… that things couldn’t be any worse, we had today.
I woke up at about 07:00 and my fist stop was the bathroom where, to go with the vomiting sessions that I’ve had, the other end is now doing the same. And so all that I’ve done is to alternate between sleeping and dashing to the bathroom for one reason or another.
And eating? On the basis of what can’t come out if it doesn’t go in, I’ve eaten (and drunk) nothing today – just a few sips of water. But that’s not worked at all well. I’ve had loads of people come to see me, had loads of pills and tablets, but none of this has worked. I had to give a “stool sample” so they handed me a little container. Now I know that I’m good, but I’m not that good – reminiscing about the sign that I once saw in a public lavatory somewhere –
“we aim to please. You aim too, please”
but skill counted for nothing and in the end they gave me the missing part of the appliance.
With all of this going on, I’m still here. They won’t be heaving me out for a bit, I reckon. Not until I’m feeling more like it anyway. I shall have to make the best of it I suppose.
I was on my travels again too. I knew a little trick about how to make a Ford Cortina Mark IV shorter without cutting the chassis, and I’d done a blue one. So now I was doing a beige one and filming it for the TV but somewhere along the line I’d made a mistake and whilst the front had gone okay I had messed up at the back end and this wasn’t too impressive for television.
I also had the dubious pleasure of watching my chimney fall down. I was looking at it thinking that this won’t be long for this world and it will make a mess when it falls when suddenly the chimney pots slid off. I was half-expecting to hear a crunch as they fell onto a passing car but instead I heard the reassuring crash as they fell into the roadway. And then the two pillars fell, sliding down the roof into the passageway at the side. I looked over the wall into the street and there were two policemen on pushbikes eyeing it up – we were on Chester Bridge in Crewe as it happened. I knew that I had to go down and clear it up and admit that it was all mine and the sooner that I did it the better.
I was also in my house too but it was laid out more like Lieneke’s. I heard a big diesel engine come up to my house so I went into the front room to see. It was a big digger passing by between my house and my barn so I wondered what was going on. I nipped out to see but to my surprise it wasn’t the outside of my house but somewhere that I didn’t recognise at all.
