Category Archives: Leclerc

Monday 4th June 2018 – I’M NOT SURPRISED …

… that there are people complaining that there’s a recession going on.

Here I am, with a pile of money burning a hole in my pocket (well, I’m not, but you’ll see where we are going with this) and no-one wants to take it off me.

At least, at Brico Cash this afternoon, they had done my quote for this kitchen. But it’s not all that cheaper than IKEA – not when you consider the difference in quality.

But I wasn’t going to leave it at that. Next stop was the LeClerc DIY place, that was having a promotion on kitchens. And despite all of this money (there isn’t going to be much change from €2000 to buy what I want, if the landlord agrees to pay it) that I’m planning to commit (on my landlord’s behalf) it took over 20 minutes for someone to come to see me.

And then we had the usual salesman’s performance.
“Which worktop do you want?” – “I told you, the cheapest”.
“And which handles do you want?” – “I told you, the cheapest”.
“And which tap do you want?” – “I told you, the cheapest”.
And so we went on and on. And then he showed me two sinks to chose from. One was €98:00 and the other one was €105.
“What’s up with the one at €57:00?” – “Ohh – do you want that?”

So you can see that when I finally receive the estimate in my mailbox I won’t be going there. Someone who doesn’t understand the meaning of “le moins cher”.

But the icing on the cake has to be at BUT. They too are having a kitchen promotion so I went there. I had to wait 15 minutes while the salesgirl was dealing with a customer (but that’s not a problem) and then we got down to business.

“We only do this by appointment”
“OK, so let’s make an appointment”
“I’m going on holiday for Friday night so it won’t be for three weeks”
“So isn’t there anyone else?”
“Yes, my colleague, but she’s on holiday this week. You need to call her and book an appointment for when she comes back”
“Can’t you do that now?”
“I don’t have her diary, but I know she’s booked up when she comes back”
“So why don’t I give you the dimensions and you can do it at your leisure, and I’ll pick it up at the beginning of next week?”
“We don’t work like that. We need the customer face-to-face”.

So that’s another company that won’t be having my business either. It’s what the French called Je m’enfoutisme – or “I can’t be bothered”. And then the companies don’t have clients, and then they close down complaining that no-one is spending any money. Well, people have the money, and they will spend it, but the companies can’t be bothered to engage competent staff – and enough of it either – to deal correctly with the customers.

And I mean that too. During both of these discussions today, the phones of the salespeople were ringing constantly, they were dealing with other enquiries too and on occasion getting up and going down the aisles to look for things.

It’s a total lack of politeness, a total lack of courtesy and a total lack of respect for the customer. One thing about IKEA is that when you get your hands on a salesman, he’s yours for the duration and there are no interruptions. Even in Belgium too, and regular readers of this rubbish from many of its previous incarnations will recall the exciting encounters that we’ve had with Belgian customer service!

And the guy in Brico Cash, at least he was honest about what he could do and when he could do it, and he kept his word too.

While we’re on the subject … "well, one of us is" – ed … you’ll recall that I sent two mails to two different camera companies about camera lenses. That was about a week ago, and how many replies do you think that I have received?

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall mailshots that I have sent out in the past about solar panels, wind turbines, camper backs for pickups – a thousand other things too – and they all have in common that 99% of the recipients never bother to reply.

And that, dear reader, is why you have a recession. The companies can’t be bothered. A bunch of je m’enfoutistes.

So abandoning yet another good rant for a while, I had a real struggle to leave the stinking pit today. It’s not as if I was all that late going to bed but there you are.

And after breakfast, I actually crashed out for 20 minutes or so. What a way to start the day.

I was going to make a start on tidying Caliburn, but one look out of the window told me not to bother. It was raining. Instead, I attacked the blog and I’ve dealt with the entries going back to late April adding photos that I missed. If you’ve missed them too, you need to go back and look.

Not only that, I tidied up the shelf unit in the kitchen, rearranged things better and now there’s much more space on there, which is just as well because it was getting quite out of hand.

Lunch was indoors today – no sense in going out to eat my butties in the rain. But when I went outside to do the rounds of the kitchen shops the rain had stopped.

Back here I went for my afternoon walk. It was school chucking-out time again and once more we have another fine example of pathetic parking.

Never mind the two cars in the background blocking the pavement, how about this guy? Not only parked on the kerb, right by a road junction, he’s parked across a pedestrian crossing too. You wouldn’t believe it.

But I did note his registration number. It began with DK. Can you think of which two letters are missing from in between?

Back here, I had another crash out and then some more blog-editing. I’m not back at 23rd April and my trip to North Africa now.

Another session on the guitar later on, and then tea. There was some of my vegan stuffing mix left over from last week and a green pepper from the weekend so I had stuffed pepper with spicy rice. Delicious it was too.

But while I was editing the blog I came across the Bombay Potato that I made myself the other week and it got my mouth watering again. So tomorrow night, in the absence of anything else, I might go for that for tea.

We had the usual walk around the walls tonight and I noticed that there’s a new craft gallery opened in the Medieval town.

It’s called “L’Envolée” which, I suppose, is supposed to mean “flight”, and it’s presumably named to describe the actions of the potential customers when they notice the prices of the objects on sale, because I don’t think that I’ve ever seen anything so absurd in my life.

Small rocks painted to look like sheep, on sale for as much as €60:00. That kind of thing. One thing is for sure, and that is that you won’t catch me spending my money in there.

So now I’m going to have to gather my strength. I have a voyage ahead of me on Wednesday morning.

And remember me saying that Caliburn and I might be off on a voyage very soon? A discussion this afternoon may well mean that I’ll be going on a voyage a long time before then.

Saturday 2nd June 2018 – I HAD A REALLY NICE …

… evening out this evening.

I’ve never been to a US Granville away game and in fact I’ve never been farther than Cérences or Gavray to watch a football match since I’ve been in Normandy. But it’s the last weekend of the season and there were no Saturday evening matches in the vicinity.

However, I noticed that US Granville’s 3rd XI was away at La Barre de Semilly in the suburbs of St Lô about 60 kms away from here, it was a lovely evening, and as Caliburn and I are off out on an adventure sometime soon maybe, a good run-out would do the both of us some good.

So fighting our way through the grockles driving along at 10 kph admiring the seagulls and having to make a stop for fuel (the first since February, would you believe?) we hit the open road and Caliburn had a really good run out all the way to the match.

And through a rainstorm too for about 10 minutes. That was a surprise.

As for the game itself, Granville – in black – lost 1-0 to a penalty that … errr … excited a considerable amount of animation. Beautiful ball through the defence, forward racing on to it, keeper ditto, forward beats the keeper to the ball by about half a millimetre and instead of saving the ball, the keeper saves the attacker.

Keeper upset about the penalty (although he shouldn’t have been, because it was a penalty) and the US Semilly-St André bench upset about the lack of card being brandished (but they shouldn’t have been because there was clearly no intent to commit a foul).

After that, the match became … errr … somewhat heated and wasn’t far off boiling point until the final whistle. At one point the Granville trainer hurled a load of what one newspaper reporter described 120 years ago as “language lower than Billingsgate” at an opposition player, much to the derision of the home supporters.

But having had a mug of coffee specially made for me, who am I to complain? US Semilly-St Andre are 5th in the table and US Granville are 8th. 1-0 would have been a fair reflection of the score under normal circumstances, and particularly this evening when the Granville attack was, I’m afraid to say, utterly clueless. I don’t recall the Semilly-St André keeper having a single shot to save whereas the Granville keeper was kept quite busy (although he too really only looked in difficulty on two or three occasions).

And I don’t recall seeing a team caught offside on so many occasions during a match as the Granville side was either.

Now just a word about the Man in the Middle.

Anyone who saw the team sheet that the Federation Francaise de Football published will have seen that the referee for this match should have been a certain Rene Lechevallier but quite clearly he didn’t turn up.

In his place we had Arthur Lowe, the legendary Captain “They Don’t Like It Up ‘Em Sir’ Mainwaring of “Dad’s Army” fame refereeing the match

So now you know what happened to him, don’t you?

So we had a really quick drive home after the match. It’s been a long time since Caliburn has had a good run out like that and we both thoroughly enjoyed it.

That wasn’t the only football that I saw today either. A message appeared in my mailbox (probably a generic one I reckon – I mustn’t flatter myself unduly … "quite!" – ed …) that one of Granville’s female teams was playing against FC Rouen’s female teams in their division’s playoff finals. Rouen were said to be bringing a bus-load of supporters so could we all go along to cheer.

It was a beautiful afternoon to go out for a good walk so I made an icy flask and some butties and set off for an unexpected afternoon out.

There was a big crowd too – probably 120 people watching the game. And having not seen a female football game (except that one in the USA in 2015) and so I didn’t know what to expect. But it was certainly much better than I reckoned that it was going to be, although the number of foul throws was astonishing.

I was quite impressed with Rouen’s n°3 – a girl called Zoe apparently – and she was quite a good footballer too. I would have gladly massaged her clavicles to warm her up for the game had I been there any earlier.

But the best player on the field, and by a country mile too, was Rouen’s centre-forward called Afssia. Big, awkward, and quite a handful for any defence, and with a surprising amount of skill too, she made all of the difference. She hit the woodwork, had a goal disallowed, forced the Granville keeper into a brilliant one-handed save, and scored the only goal of the game. She was a league apart from the other players on the field.

At first I thought that Rouen would run away with the game because they looked menacing right from the kickoff and Granville looked a good couple of yards off the pace. But after 25 minutes the Granville trainer changed the team formation around and brought on a girl called Magdalena to play behind what was a very lightweight front two. That made a world of difference and Granville looked much more threatening from then on.

In fact, when Afssia ran out of steam near the end and was stuck in midfield (to be fair, she’d been on the receiving end of a very heavy challenge late in the game) the run of the game changed dramatically. Granville were surging forward in streams for the final five minutes and had they had someone who could have produced just a single moment of magic, they could have done something here.

1-0 was about the right score, I reckoned, but after watching the first five minutes I had been anticipating a cricket score by the final whistle. And after all said and done, I quite enjoyed the game. It was certainly different.

We saw the other day that the Council was out beautifying the town ready for the summer season which starts to get into swing this season.

They put up the bunting, but I’m not quite sure what is the purpose of all of these wind decorations that seem to be dotted all over the place.

They are certainly quite interesting, but I’m not sure that the Council’s thinking that this sort of thing will bring the millions of masses out of Paris to see them tells us more about the mentality of the Council or more about the mentality of the Parisiens

Apart from the girls’ football match and the pretty decorations, what else was different about today was the fact that I was actually out of bed before either of the alarms went off. I had been in bed fairly early (for me anyway) and for some reason I ended up being wide awake at 06:10. No sense in lying in bed.

First task after breakfast was to copy all of the dashcam videos onto the laptop and free up the SD cards. And after that, I connected up one of the external drives now that I can access it, and did a mega-back-up of all of the images on the laptop. While that was going on, I had a shower and a clean-up.

Then it was off to the shops.

LIDL came up with nothing special but I did buy some loose sugar and some flour. After all, I have a cunning plan. NOZ was next, and again, it was just the usual stuff, but also a pile of DvDs because they were having another mammoth sale of surplus stock. That’s piles of DvDs that I have acquired just recently. One day I might sit down and watch some of them.

The Foirfouille was practically cleaned out. Anything really exciting had long-gone. But I did finally find something in which to keep my oil and vinegar and I’m pleased about that. And they had a set of front seat covers to fit a van too, with the one single and one double seat. Seeing as they were reduced to just 30% of the normal price and that it was Caliburn’s birthday, I treated him to a set.

At Leclerc there was nothing exciting either, alhough I did buy some pizza flour. I have a cunning plan for that too.

Back here, I crashed out for a while before heading off to the football. And for some reason which I don’t understand because I have been feeling a little more like my old self just recently, it was a long hard slog up the hill this afternoon.

So now I’m back and I’m off to bed for my Saturday night lie-in. A Day of Rest tomorrow

Saturday 26th May 2018 – I HAVE JUST SEEN …

… something that I have never ever seen before.

One of US Granville’s attacker bursts into the EC Tessy Moyon Sports box, and goes down under a challenge from a defender. The referee blows hiw whistle and points to the penalty spot.

The match is being played at the Stade Louis Dior despite it being the 3rd XI. I’m in the grandstand, absolutely level with the incident and quite high up, so I have a perfect view. And in mt opinion that was one of the best challenges that I have seen at this level of football.

The Tessy Moyon players are furious, their coach is livid, The US Granville player comes to the touchline and shouts something to his captain. The captain takes the kick – and kicks it to the corner flag.

Apparently the referee was the only person in the whole stadium who thought that that was a penalty. But I’ve never seen a team kick away a penalty before. The Age of Chivalry isn’t dead after all.

It was another struggle to leave the stinking pit this morning, We Went through the usual morning procedure followed by a shower, and then Caliburn and I hit the streets

We went the long way out to the garage, out to near Bréhal and down the by-pass. The idea is to get the engine stinking hot so that it burns more efficiently and shows a better reading on the air meter. The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men gang aft agley, as Robert Burns would have us believe. I ended up being stuck behind a load of grockles crawling along the road.

However, none of this caused a problem and at the Controle Technique, not only were we early but we were in and out and finished even before the time of the appointment. Caliburn passed with no problems and there is nothing to worry about as far as his bodywork goes. He’ll be 11 on Tuesday by the way

Sopping today was just Noz and LeClerc. I didn’t feel like going all the way round to LIDL. And it didn’t take me long to buy what I needed (and to buy nothing else) and I was home by 11:30. Maybe I ought to go out this early again.

Having put everything away and having had a coffee, it was lunchtime. Beautiful weather for it too, sitting on the wall watching the shipping, eating my butties, reading my book and chatting to the lizard. He was enjoying the weather too.

Back here, shame as it is to admit it, I crashed out yet again for a good hour too. Perhaps this early start wasn’t such a good idea after all. But I was up and about and ready for my trek up town.

Some of the trek involved following a couple of beautiful young maidens. They stopped somewhere along the route and gave a kiss to some boy who was clearly a friend.
“Could I have a kiss too?” I enquired. But the trouble today is that no-one has a sense of humour.

It was a beautiful evening for football and we were lucky enough to be at the Stade Louis Dior for this. It’s not very often that the 3rd XI get to play here.

No-one on the gate at all of course so we could just walk in and go anywhere, so I blagged a seat in the stands where the view is quite good.

US Granville were 8th going into the match and EC Tessy Moyon Sports were 7th, and eo we expected a hard-fought tight match and that’s exactly what we got.

Granville had most of the play but couldn’t convert the chances that they were making. And it seemed that fortune might have been on their side when Tessy Mosson were obliged to replace their goalkeeper with an outfield player after a collision.

But the new keeper was actually quite good – he’d clearly played in goal before and at a reasonable standard too. He was coming out for crosses – and catching them too – and his handling and distribution was quite good too.

But he was eventually beaten by a ball over the top and a Granville player running on for a one-on-one. No-one could complain about the keeper there.

But the real highlight of the evening was the weather.

There had been some rumbling and grumbling in the distance, and then a huge dark cloud started to blow over the ground.

And you can see, if you look closely, the torrential rain that is falling, away over there in the distance. We were going to be in for it.

The rain waited until we were leaving the stadium before it let go. And then we got the lot.

Luckily there was a strong wind blowing so I kept in the lee of the buildings at the side of the road. Had I been in the open, I would have been a drowned rat before I’d gone 50 yards.

But it was quickly over. And we had one of those unusual phenomena of a sharp weather front, where you could see the end of the rainstorm like a curtain as it drew away from me up the street. It’s been a while since I’ve seen something like that.

Back here, I hadn’t completed my 100% daily activity which is a surprise. There’s definitely something wrong with the fitbit.

And so I went for a lap around the block until the 100% came up, and this enabled me to watch the sun sink slowly into the sea, surrounded by flashes of lightning and rolls of thunder something like The Return Of The Demon King.

But I was too tired to do much back here. I even fell asleep talking to someone on the laptop. So in the end I went to bed.

Sunday tomorrow. A day of rest. And I need it too.

Thursday 24th May 2018 – OUCH! THAT HURT!

Yes it did too. Dead to the world for an hour and a half this afternoon, and still a little unsteady on my feet even now.

Something of a late-ish night last night. And dead to the world until the alarm went off. And then it was something of a struggle to leave my stinking pit.

But after the usual morning routine I had a shower and a clean-up and then phoned the garage. Caliburn is ready so I could go to pick him up.

It’s a long walk – almost 6kms to the garage and no point in hanging around, so off I set.

There was quite a bit going on in the town today. There’s a cycle race taking place at weekend so the local council was out putting up all of the bunting and other street decorations ready for the (af)fray.

And I’m glad that I went early because the sun didn’t start to heat up for a while. The first half of the journey was quite pleasant.

Not so the second half once the sun was full out, and I had to stop a few times to get my breath.

First stop was at the motorcycle shop just for a nosy around. There wasn’t anything of interest – not that I expected there might be, but worth a look all the same.

Second port of call was a new Bio shop that I hadn’t noticed before. It’s pretty much like the Amaranthe in Montlucon but with only a quarter of the stock. And as for the vegan selection, well, they needn’t have bothered. That was a waste of time too.

Third port of call was the cheap electric shop that had done the business for me before. And yet again, I didn’t leave empty-handed. Tomorrow, I’ll take a photo of what I bought and you can see it for yourselves. But I never expected to see one of these in a shop like this.

Ironically, last year when I was wandering around on foot with Caliburn’s service last year, I stumbled upon an oven. That’s rather a strange coincidence.

Biggest surprise was at the garage. Caliburn has his controle technique on Saturday morning so he needs a service and a check-over before he goes. And for all of that, the bill came to all of €110. That’s the cheapest service and pre-controle technique that Caliburn would ever have.

All they found wrong was a numberplate light bulb not working and nothing else. I asked them to check the steering and front suspension but they found nothing wrong there.

Seeing as I was up at that end of the town I did my mid-week shopping at Leclerc and then came home for a coffee and a chat on line with Liz. After that, it was outside for my butties.

There was a lot going on there too. Not much in the way of people but they had a guy on a sky jack pressure-washing the building behind me. And every so often the spray would drift over to where I was sitting.

He had to stop every time a car or a pedestrian went past so it took him longer than it might otherwise have done.

Butvery so often the spray would drift over to where I was sitting and it was actually quite pleasant and cooling in the sunshine.

There was also quite a lot of activity going on down below in the port.

The tide was on its way in and so were all the fishing boats. They were queueing up several deep at the wharf by the fish processing plant waiting to unload their catch, with a few more on their way in to the harbour as I watched.

Still, it keeps them out of mischief, I suppose.

Now that Caliburn is organised (or he will be on Saturday morning) I had some plans to make, and I spent a while up to no good and chatting to a couple of friends on line. And then that was that.

I missed my afternoon walk yet again, but I still managed to have the session on the guitar.

Tea was a burger in a bap with a potato and veg done in the microwave with some vegan margarine spread.

And I managed to make it outside for the evening walk, which was just as well because it really was a beautiful night.

Instead of going around the walls I went around the headland instead and there was a beautiful view across the bay towards Jullouville and Carolles although there was a sea mist that was obscuring the far coast itself.

Nevertheless, the colours came out really well in this photo. You would never imagine that it’s almost 21:00.

And so 108% of my daily total today, and it feels more like 1008%. I feel dreadful but I have to keep going. One thing for sure though – I won’t be doing much tomorrow.

Saturday 20th May 2018 – LAST MATCH …

… of the season this evening at the Stade Louis Dior for the US Granville’s 1st XI.

And it was free admission too – what you might call an “Open Dior” evening, I suppose. And not only that, I was given an invitation to sit in the stand which was very nice. Even nicer was the fact that it was a beautiful evening.

Tonight’s opponents were Sologne Olympic Romorantin, a name that is bound to cause confusion. The club was formerly known as Stade Olympic Romorantin and the name change caught many people off-balance. The famous architect Frank Lloyd Wright (regular readers of this rubbish will recall that we visited Graycliff, one of his houses) asked everyone he knew for confirmation of the name change, to which the famous singer Paul Simon answered “Sologne, Frank Lloyd Wright” … "are you sure about this?" – ed.

As for the match itself, it was a pulsating, thrilling encounter that finished 2-2. But this was two points thrown away by Granville, not one point gained.

Granville had half a dozen other really good chances to score that many other teams would have buried in the back of the net, including a free header from three yards out that somehow went over the bar.

As for the two goals conceded, one was a defensive mix-up where the keeper and two defenders waited around for one of the three to clear the ball, and the second was the Granville keeper coming miles off his line for a ball that he was never ever going to reach. In fact, the Granville keeper didn’t look his usual confident self throughout the match.

With having another reasonably early night, the alarm didn’t come as much of a shock that it normally did too. Although it did snap me out of one of my nocturnal rambles. Unfortunately the batteries in the dictaphone went flat so I don’t remember much of it. But somewhere along the line I was walking along a main road carrying a brown grip-kind of luggage thing almost identical to one that I was given for a birthday in 1977. I was supposed to be heading home but it was a long way and I was hoping that someone would stop to pick me up, although I wasn’t actively hitch-hiking. It was taking place on the edge of a town just where the houses start to give way to countryside and where the footpath ends. And it must have been on the mainland of Europe as I was on the right-hand side of the road. I wasn’t alone either, because here and there were a few other individuals loitering in the vicinity. Suddenly someone shouted that there was to be a train leaving the station so people started to flood off up a side street. I asked if that wa the way to the station and someone replied that it was so I followed the stream of people, even though my pride wanted me to stay on the road and walk home. At the station there was a railway official directing the people to the train. I seemed to recall that I’d been here before under similar circumstances and that the official had given us all temporary railway tickets, but this time he was just waving us to the train with no tickets being issued. So I was wondering exactly what was the scam that he was working over the passenger tickets and fares.

We had the usual morning routine, including a shower and a setting off of the washing machine (there was a backlog of laundry again) and then the shops.

The usual round of LIDL, NOZ and Leclerc. The former and the latter didn’t come up with anything special but at NOZ there were all kinds of bits and pieces. Nothing exciting though, except a cheap air mattress. It comes to my mind that I might be going off on my travels in a few weeks and of course, I don’t have my travelling mattress for Caliburn, do I?

It shouldn’t make any difference really because I’m not well enough these days to sleep in Caliburn as I used to, but it’s one of those things that you might always need it if you don’t have it.

But I called in at the Second Hand shop on the way back – the one from whence the new hi-fi came. They did indeed have a Nikon lens that will fit on the big Nikon. So when I go past there on Tuesday I’ll take the camera there and try it out. See whether it’s the lens or the camera itself that is faulty.

Back here, I crashed out yet again for half an hour, and then took myself off for a very late lunch on my little wall with my book. Beautiful weather it was too.

There wasn’t much of the afternoon left by the time I returned, so I didn’t do much before going off across town for the football.

Back here though later in the evening, there was a guided tour of the old medieval town here, with flaming torches (and perishing lamps and blasted lights too).

I went out and tagged myself on to one of the groups of wanderers to listen to what the guide had to say. It always helps to know about where you are living.

And it was quite interesting. He pointed out many things that I hadn’t noticed on my travels around on my own and gave us all quite an interesting tour.

But my heart isn’t in it, I’m afraid.

It’s not like the olden days when I could wander around like this for hours. By the time that we were heading back to the Église Notre-Dame du Cap Lihou I was tired and exhausted.

There was a whole raft of entertainment organised for for us all through the night, but it wasn’t to be for me. I came home and went to bed instead.

All of this is rather depressing, isn’t it?

Saturday 12th May 2018 – IT’S A WELL-KNOWN PHENOMENON …

… that when you lose something that you desperately need, you can’t find it anywhere even though you know almost exactly where it ought to be.

And it’s an even more well-known phenomenon that while you are looking for the aforementioned, you find something that you lost a while ago and were totally unable to find and you had since given up all hope of ever finding it again. And – you usually find it in a place where you are certain that you have already looked – and on several occasions too.

So for this reason I unreservedly and unequivocally withdraw all of the intemperate remarks that I made at the time and have made since then a propos the mobile phone which disappeared from my possession just before Christmas.

The next question of course is – “what will I have lost and be looking for when I find the spring retaining clip off Caliburn’s window winder?”

Now here’s something rather strange. I was sitting here last night feeling somewhat (but not all that much) tired but I couldn’t find anything that I wanted to do all that much. So in the end I gave it all up as a bad job and went off to bed in default. That’s not at all like me, is it?

And it didn’t take me long (like a matter of a couple of minutes) to go off to sleep too.

The first part of the night was quite restless though and I was tossing and turning somewhat. But eventually I settled down and was well away with the fairies.

We had another one of those nights where I was wandering around aimlessly, my clothes in my hands, from one big public building to another trying to find where the public showers were.
But later I was with a couple of people, one of whom was a young girl of about 10 or 11, on bicycles waiting at a roundabout for the traffic to clear. It was early one morning and still dark and the girl had no lights on. Suddenly she darted off between the traffic and took the wrong road. I had to chase after her, which wasn’t easy seeing as I couldn’t see her, but caught her up eventually on the Coleridge Way estate in Crewe. She’s come to a dead end and couldn’t work out where to go next. I knew where we were although I couldn’t understand how we had arrived there, and to return to our route we had to go down a footpath that would lead us back to the road. But there were these anti-bicycle gates on the footpath so I had to lift her bike over them, and in doing so I scratched the paintwork. You could see through the deep pink down to the original purple colour. She was most upset about that.

It was another struggle to leave the bed this morning. I’m clearly suffering the after-effects of my journey the other day. But having made a nice new muesli mix yesterday I could enjoy a nice fresh breakfast – even if I did forget the orange juice.

A shower and a shave and a general clean-up and then I hit the streets. My trip out took me to LIDL, NOZ and LeClerc where I bought nothing special but nevertheless spent a lot of money because the stocks here are right down.

But I couldn’t help thinking to myself that they must have some strange men doing their shopping at NOZ. Here on the “men’s” shopping rack we have a nice selection of dresses and an even better selection of handbags.

It takes all sorts, I suppose. I wonder if Lee Pottymouth does his shopping here. But then, I didn’t see any fairy boots on offer.

I also visited the Controle Technique station to book Caliburn’s next appointment and also the garage where he goes to be serviced, but they are taking advantage of this week of two Bank Holidays by being closed until Monday.

With the controle technique being due, I reckoned that it might be a good idea to find out why the driver’s door on Caliburn no longer opens from the outside. It was a good morning – not too hot, dry, no wind, so I could work in comfort.

And it didn’t take too long to discover the problem. There’s a rod that operates the door latch and it’s adjustable with a nut on the end. Only there was no nut on the end. It’s fallen off. So I rummaged around, found a nut of the correct size, and reassembled it. It’s not quite adjusted correctly, but it works and that’s good news.

Then, the reassembly bit. The window winder is held on by a spring clip, not a screw, and it’s flaming awkward to fit. The first time that it sprung off I actually caught it as it flew across Caliburn’s cab – much to my own surprise – but the second time it disappeared off in the general direction of under the driver’s seat.

So I bent down to look for it – and the rest is history.

The phone was under there looking as if it had been placed there. It’s impossible for it to have fallen out of my pocket into the position where I found it. And in any case, I’m certain that I’ve looked there before. So I dunno. It’s mystifying me.

The weather was nice enough to work on Caliburn but not nice enough to eat my sandwiches outside. And then, much to my dismay, I was gone with the wind for a good hour or more. Clearly not up with it, am I?

Nevertheless I went for my walk this afternoon and then settled down to watch the football. Cardiff Metro v Barry Town in the Europa League playoffs. Barry unbeaten in the last 10 matches and the Met having been on a woeful run of form although they came good in the last two matches.

And everyone in a packed ground at Cyncoed and those watching on the internet were treated to a thriller for the first 25 minutes. Barry had most of the possession but Cardiff Met played some good, neat football. And then the Met took the lead with a goal out of nowhere. And then a second ditto. A third followed shortly thereafter – an own goal from a defender who headed a free kick into his own net. And that was that.

The second half was pretty much the same although the killer instinct had gone from Cardiff Met. They scored a fourth but Barry pulled one back to make the score a little more respectable. Cardiff Met were the better team to be sure, but not three goals better. If they play like they did in the first half against Cefn Druids next week and win, they’ll tear up Europe next season.

I had my little walk this evening after a tinned tea, and now I’m vegetating. No alarm tomorrow as it’s Sunday so I’m going to sleep until I awake. I reckon that I need it.

Saturday 28th April 2018 – PHEW!

That was some football match tonight. US Granville were playing US St Malo tonight at the Stade Louis Dior and even though I’ve still not properly recovered from my recent exertions I walked out there this evening.

US St Malo are third in the table and US Granville are 8th so it was always going to be a difficult task, but Granville matched them toe to toe for the first 50 minutes. While it was evident that St Malo were technically the better side and had more of the possession, Granville looked far more menacing when they were going forward.

And then Granville won a penalty for a mistimed tackle. No card given, but that’s not a problem – it was clearly an attempt to play the ball. And the penalty was beautifully struck – and there was an even better save from the St Malo keeper.

In fact, I don’t know what the St Malo keeper had been drinking but I wouldn’t mind a pint of that. He brought off half a dozen stunning saves that would not have been out of place in the Premier League and he single-handedly (or double-handedly) kept his club in the game.

Granville did score a goal after about an hour, but 10 minutes later St Malo equalised and that was probably the right result. But it was easily the best match that I have seen for some time.

Last night was another disturbed night unfortunately. But not so disturbed that it stopped me going on a midnight ramble.

I was walking along Hightown in Crewe with, of all people, the mother of the boy with whom I spent several weeks in France during my schooldays. A girl was with us too – she might even have been his sister although she probably wasn’t – and someone else. I was pointing out to them all about HIghtown and how it ws 30 years ago and how much it had changed. We were looking at a place that was a venue for high-class wedding services exhibitions but which was in fact probably a secret bar and next door was the old church that became a rock venue and now it had gone up-market and was available for hire for wedding celebrations. But the girl with us was coming out with comments as if she knew Crewe really well which was quite a surprise. This led me to mention the story about a girl aged 7 or 8. She had only been to a certain place a couple of times but we used to send her to the shops there because she could remember the way. This woman, who had now become my niece, said “who do you mean?” and mentioned the name of one of a pair of twins, to which I replied that it was the other one. And that was surprising too because the girl whom my niece had mentioned was much brighter than the other one. We ended up somewhere down Victoria Street in a house with two grey cats and they were huge – massively overweight monsters of things – so I asked my niece whether they were bad-tempered but she replied “not at all. They are the softest cats you could ever imagine” so I gave the biggest one of the two a stroke. My niece then wrote out a shopping list to take to the Chinese takeaway – a bag of chips for 10, 8 food boxes, 1 portion of pie, 1 portion of sausages and all of the usual kind of takeaway food. I offered to go to fetch it. On the way out I heard some people arguing about something and I thought that they were inside the house but it turned out to be a mother and daughter standing outside the door in the street having this argument. In the meantime I glanced at the shopping list and noticed that there was nothing on it for me. It was all meaty stuff, so I got to wonder what was I going to have for tea while I was out there buying tea for everyone else.
Leaning over the edge of a parapet, my notebook fell out of my hands right into the foreign waste and it was a long way down to go to collect it. But I needed to go to retrieve it and bring it back with me. But to get there meant passing through what was to become the first German victory, so I had to crawl along the side of the building under the machine gun fire. But earlier in the evening there had been an opportunity to climb out onto the roof of where we were being held captive – or rather to climb up onto the top and walk about on the sheets that were protecting everyone from the sun -the weather there was absolutely magnificent.

Despite everything I still beat the second alarm, and then after the usual morning performance I had a shower and a general clean-up, followed by a change of clothes.

And then the shops!

LIDL, NOZ and LeClerc and I bought nothing whatever of any importance. I simply did a lap around and came back with the usual stuff.

But I didn’t stay at home long because I had a phone call. Liz and Terry were in town and would I like lunch? So back to the LeClerc and the buffet.

We had a good chat for a couple of hours to catch up on news, and then I came back.

But I didn’t stay at home long because I had to go out for the footy.

On the way back from the football I saw something that made me laugh, and so I had to take a photograph of it.

This is why it’s necessary to wear a hat when you go for a walk around here because the local seagulls have an accuracy that puts RAF Bomber Command to shame. You can see just how well they have done with this car that has only been parked here for a couple of days.

That’ll require a little cleaning before the driver goes too far in it. But what do you expect, living on a rocky crag by the seaside?

All in all, 105% of my daily activity so at least I’m keeping going. But I felt the strain just a little. An early night and a nice long sleep will do me the world of good.

You just watch someone come along to spoil it!

Saturday 7th April 2018 – SO THAT WAS …

… Summer then.

This morning we were back with the grey, miserable, depressing overcast weather that was threatening rain again.

I leapt from my bed with a spring in my step at the sound of the first alarm … "QUITE" – ed … and then went through the usual morning ritual followed by a shower and a turn of the washing machine. I need to have everything up-to-date here before I go.

The shops were pretty boring and I didn’t buy all that much – hardly surprising when I’m not going to be here for 10 days. LIDL was quite boring, except for the enormous queue at the one till that was open, but there were a couple of DVDs in NOZ that attracted my attention. Les Grandes Vacances starring Louis de Funès who, as regular readers of this rubbish will recall, is my favourite French comedian, and also “Le Brigand Bien-Aimé”, or to give it its English title, The True Story of Jesse James – but unfortunately the 1950s remake, not the original, classic 1939 version.

There was also a nice imitation-copper tray too. Very heavy. Just the job for putting on the table to keep the condiments and so on handy whenever I carry out the additions to the kitchen.

It was exciting at LeClerc though. Some woman was insisting that they weighed her fruit and vegetables BEFORE she put them in the bag, despite the fact that the scales there are set to minus 0.5 grammes to take into account the weight of the bag. Just how petty can anyone be?

Back here, I had a coffee and a tidy up (just a little one) before lunch and then, seeing as I can now pick up 5-Live with the new hi-fi (with which I am almost as impressed as I was with my galvanised steel dustbin) I listened to the football on the radio.

As that finished, it was time for me to set off to the Stade Louis Dior and this evening’s football. US Granville’s 1st XI were playing Stade Briochin, the team from down the coast at St Brieuc.

And true to form, as the teams lined up for the kick-off, we had the downpour. 535 brave spectators witnessed a rather depressing football match.

Stade Briochin are second in the table and are challenging for promotion to the National League. And it was easy to see why. I’ve mentioned in the past that US Granville’s attack can be pretty aimless at times, especially when their centre-forward doesn’t feel much like it, and that was the case today. I’ve never seen then so ineffectual up front.

As for Stade Briochin, they were much more focused and dynamic, and played with a system, a shape and a plan. They scored two goals with some very good play and could have had even more had the Granville ‘keeper not been on top form.

Granville improved in the final quarter of an hour after a couple of substitutions but still didn’t seriously threaten the Stade Briochin goal and they are probably still out there now trying to launch an attack on the empty net.

And surprise, surprise. As soon as the referee blew for full-time the rain stopped and my trudge home was rather damp but dry.

Tea was out of a tin as is usual on a Saturday when I’m late home. Rice and veg with a tin of those champignons à la grecque. Not my favourite meal but at least it’s different and adds some variety to my diet.

It was very kind of the FAW to hold up the kick-off of tonight’s Welsh Cup semi-final until I was back home. And so thanks to the internet and my new television I was able to watch Connah’s Quay Nomads totally demolish some clueless rabble in blue that pretended to be Bangor City.

With Lord Lucan and Martin Bormann in central defence and a debut appearance for The Invisible Man at left-back, who had to be just about the worst defender that I have ever seen at this level of football, the Nomads rattled in 6 quick-fire goals and could have had half a dozen more except for a brave display by Matthew Hall in the Bangor goal.

Bangor’s reply – a penalty – was nothing more than some soft consideration or consolation for what had been the worst performance that I had ever seen.

I’ve mentioned in the past that Bangor’s inconsistency is costing them dear. Last week they took on TNS, who had just been crowned League Champions, and beat them 1-0. And earlier in the season they had beaten TNS 5-2. And then they go and turn out an embarrassing, humiliating performance like this?

So on that note, I’m storming off to bed. It’s been a bad day for the football.

Saturday 31st March 2018 – YOU MISSED …

… an exciting football match this evening.

US Granville were playing CS Villedieu – a team one Division below them – in the Normandy Cup, and ran out 5-1 winners.

You might think that this indicates that CS Villedieu were on the receiving end of a right spannering, but nothing could be further from the truth. The scoreline is extremely unfair to them.

The game hinged on a two-minute spell after about an hour. Up until then the teams had been very evenly matched and although Granville were 1-0 up thanks to a goal after about 15 minutes, the lead was by no means whatever a comfortable one.

But then CS Villedieu broke away upfield with some nice play and had a shot on goal that beat absolutely everyone, including the US Granville keeper, but flashed about half a millimetre wide of the post. Had they scored, it would have been no more than they deserved.

However, from the goal-kick, Granville roared upfield and won a corner. And the Granville centre-forward had a free header into the net.

From the restart, the US Granville midfielder intercepted the ball, played it upfield and with some neat passing play from the forwards, the n°10 (I think) found himself in a one-on-one with the Villedieu keeper and made no mistake.

So within 60 seconds of what should have been 1-1, CS Villedieu found themselves 3-0 down.

After that, things went from bad to worse for Villedieu. They were still playing some nice football and even pulled back a goal, but every time Granville had the ball up front they looked dangerous. As well as 2 more goals, we had two point-blank saves from the keeper and a resounding, thunderous volley that came back off the foot of the post.

5-1 it was. 2-1 would have been a fairer result but it could so easily have been 7 or 8 for Granville.

And I’ll tell you something else that I missed too. And I’m as malade as a perroquet about it, as they say around here.

There’s been a dash-cam in Caliburn for several years and it’s never ever recorded anything interesting. And yet today, there we were at the roundabout near LeClerc and a motorist a few cars in front of me stops to give way. A tourist behind (yes, it’s grockle-time again), too busy admiring a seagull, runs slap bang into the rear of him. Ad here I am with the dash-cam running!

Or, at least, I thought I was. But it turns out that the SD card filled up about 100 yards beforehand and so had switched off. How upset am I?

With having had a late night last night I didn’t have much sleep . And although I’d been on my travels, all memory of it disappeared in the time that it took to reach for the dictaphone.

We had the usual morning ritual followed by a shower and a general clean-up, and then it was shopping-time.

LIDL and NOZ came up with nothing much of any excitement, and I went to Mr Bricolage for some PTFE lubricant for the machine heads of the bass guitar.

We then had the accident, and as I was pulling onto the car park at LeClerc, I almost collided with Liz and Terry coming in the opposite direction. So we went for a coffee, that passed into lunch, and I’m very grateful to Terry for hosting me.

Nothing much of any excitement in there either, but I do now have an office chair (even though I don’t have an office as yet – but I will in early course) and that was quite by accident.

With all of the time that it took for chatting and so on, it was just coming up to 14:00 when I was driving past BUT and they were reopening after lunch. And there was a big sign outside – “Clearance Sale – Massive reductions – Free Installation on Fitted Kitchens”.

So I went in to see about a kitchen for here because I hate what I have and I want something much better than this. However, it won’t be happening from BUT. The “free installation” only applies to purchases of over €2500 and I’m looking to spend a tenth of that.

But I had a look at the office chairs and there was one that was quite comfortable and quite robust. Not quite like the one that I had in Brussels that I could (and did on many occasions) curl up and go to sleep in, but it was €79:99 – which is cheap in itself – reduced by 50%! And they had run out of stock so after much discussion they let me have the display one for €36:00. I’ll go for that.

This evening I had a brisk walk out to the Cité des Sports in the rain and howling gale for the football and because I’d brought a flask, the Hall and bar were open. Isn’t that typical?

And on the way back I grabbed a portion of chips for tea. It’s good to catch up with old habits.

Tomorrow is of course a Bank Holiday and a Sunday, so I’m going for two lie-ins.

And why not?

Monday 26th March 2018 – HOW LONG IS IT …

… since we’ve had a Ship of the Day?

We have them every now and then of course but nothing like the ones to which we are accustomed, steaming … “dieseling” – ed … down the Straits of Dover or up the St Lawrence. But today was rather different.

With a huge 300 mm zoom lens and a high vantage point on the Pointe du Roc, a good image editor (Paint Shop Pro has never failed me yet after well over 20 years) and a bit of “crop and paste” I can take photos dozens of miles out into the English Channel and make them look fairly respectable, all things considered.

I’ve no idea who she is and where she’s going, but her silhouette bears a strong resemblance to the Brittany Ferries’ Pont Aven – the ferry that runs between St Malo and Portsmouth. That is of course mere speculation but she’s impressive just the same.

And that’s not the only ship that was out and about.

The rattle and clanking of an ancient Kelvin diesel engine left no-one in any doubt as to who else was just leaving the harbour as I rounded the headland.

It’s our old friend Grima presumably having nipped in last night under cover of darkness while I was flaked out on the sofa.

There was quite a crowd up here on the city walls watching her leave port. French people of course, but judging by their accents not from around here.

They were making all kinds of remarks and speculations about who or what she might be so I was able to fill them in on the details. They may be none-the-wiser, but they are certainly better-informed right now.

But never mind ships for now – during the night I was on the strangest rail journey. Rattling down the long corridor of this double-deck train furnished with cheap red and white plastic seats and trim until we suddenly came to the carriage with the swimming pool in it. The only way past was to shoot down this hole underneath the pool in which you were propelled by compressed air, and it was full of water. Definitely not the stuff for claustrophobics. So I queried it with the two Japanese attendants who at first didn’t (or wouldn’t) hear me but eventually they understood what I meant and “ohh yes, that’s the only way”. “But it’s wet!” I replied. “So where’s your towel?” they asked. When I explained that I didn’t have one they immediately offered to lend me one, with a weary sigh as if they were totally fed up with people who come on their trains and don’t bring their own towels. And I still wasn’t convinced about this escape route. I come out in a cold sweat even when the word “submarine is mentioned and regular readers of this rubbish will recall that I once declined the opportunity to visit the interior of the aforementioned.

But this all began with a visit that I had made to Stoke on Trent with someone whom I know to go to pick up something from the car spares place. It was crowded and I eventually fought my way to the front of the queue. The three little Chinese girls standing next to me were after a car part as they couldn’t go to school until they had this piece. “Let me guess – it’s a Mercedes” I said, recalling a similar occasion that had occurred to me. Of course, it was, so I leaned across to my friend, told him the story and invited him to guess. He didn’t hear me so I went across to him – and found that I had lost my place in the queue. So back again and worked my way round, and eventually I was seen. I had to go outside for my part where the person dealing with me told me that the measurements were wrong. It wasn’t 84m but he could find something at 80mm. I reckoned that it was more like 84mm but he insisted on 80mm and it was the centre boss from a Ford Escort steering wheel. The one he had was dirty so he started to clean it up but this had already taken far longer than I had planned and I had things to do, so I took it as it was, explaining to my friend (by now joined by none other than Zero) that I would see him later – although I knew that I wouldn’t really have time. My route away took me to the hospital and I ended up in a ward where I had once stayed. It was crowded with people sleeping everywhere and in the corner were people doing relaxation exercises, pretending to be rabbits asleep. Something that I found quite amusing. My route out of here took me past all of the nurses whom had dealt with me, and they all kept on asking me if I had my permit to leave. I explained that I hadn’t even been in, but they of course asked me why I was here then. And it was during one of these encounters that I ended up on board this train.

And no wonder that I was exhausted after all of that. Quite a struggle to leave my bed when the alarm went off.

And for a change I managed the medication and a breakfast, followed by a shower and even a lap round of the washing machine. High time that I organised myself.

Once everything was up and running and the medication had done its stuff I headed out for the shops. And it was an expensive day too for in three of the shops I spent €25:00 each, and that’s not like me.

In LIDL the money went on a kitchen roll holder and a set of kitchen knives (which are rubbish – worse than the one that they are supposed to replace), some absolutely delicious strawberries (I remembered that I had half a can of spray-on vegan cream left from Christmas) and a punnet of kiwis. Yes, with my new sorbet maker, I’m not going to be short of desserts for the next week or so.

NOZ was having another sale of exotic drinks plus a DVD sale with some good stuff in there, and also a nice black fleece. I realise that I don’t have enough jumpers and fleeces are good because they dry quickly when you wash them or it rains. And this one has the pockets sewn that they make little inside pockets too, which are very handy for travelling.

And a rolling pin! I’ve finally found a traditional wooden rolling pin too. Been looking for one for ages.

LeClerc was just the usual stuff but a lot of it because I’d let the supplies run right down just recently. And just €2:50 in Centrakor, on a new measuring jug. I had something of an accident the other day with the previous one.

Of course today was just the kind of day to take your butties to the wall outside and sit thereupon, so I had some soup to finish off, didn’t I? And then I had my walk and my little guitar practice session.

The postie came meantime and bought me the first consignment of my order from the other day. With having no credit card I wasn’t able to treat myself to a birthday present but once I’d organised that last time that I was in Brussels I could go ahead and order some of this year’s wish list. We had the remote control that I mentioned, and a couple of DVDs. More is yet to come.

Tea was a burger and vegetables, and the usual evening walk.

Liz was on line later on so we chatted for ages. Dylan, her grandson, has just passed his flute exam (bravo Dylan) and Robyn, her grand-daughter, has just passed her first level ballet exam.

So I’ve ordered a command performance ballet when they come in the summer, Dylan on music and Robyn on the dance floor

What more can anyone require?

Saturday 10th March 2018 – BRAIN OF BRITAIN STRIKES AGAIN!

Halfway down the stairs on my way out for this evening’s football when I suddenly realised that I had forgotten my camera. So I had to nip back to fetch it.

I was halfway down the steps into town when I realised that I had forgotten to go to Caliburn to pick up my mug to go with the coffee that I had made in the flask, and I had to work my evil wiles on the girl in the bakery where there is a coffee machine. She would only give me some plastic beakers, not the insulated ones. But then I suppose, I was lucky that I had remembered the thermos flask.

Halfway up the steep hill, stopping to divest myself of my jacket because it was quite a warm evening, I mused that the camera wasn’t all that important because I could use the camera on the telephone to take the photos that I wanted.

And it was at this point that I realised that I had forgotten the phone too.

To rub it in, there was a handball match taking place at the Sports Centre tonight and the cafeteria was open, so I didn’t need the flask (or the beakers) either.

But then it’s always like that with me, as regular readers of this rubbish will realise.

But it was a beautiful night for football – fairly warm, not much wind and for once, it wasn’t raining. And doesn’t that make a change from these last few days?

Tonight’s opponents were FC Trois Rivieres – not from Québec but from Canisy in the outskirts of St Lô.

And if ever there were two points thrown needlessly away by a team in need of a victory it was tonight, that’s for sure.

I reckon that Granville had about 75% of the possession and they were one goal up early on in the game. It took Trois Rivieères 31 minutes (I timed it) to get into the Granville penalty area.

And when they did, they scored a goal out of nothing. One of those shots that hits a defender’s boot and could go anywhere. This particular one looped up and over the keeper’s head and although he got both hands to the ball it spun out if his grasp and into the net.

It didn’t take long for Granville to restore their lead but then we had another calamity in the Granville defence. A back-pass under pressure to the keeper who decided to pass it out to another defender instead of clearing his lines upfield or out of play for a throw-in.

Of course, the inevitable happened and the ball out was intercepted by an attacker who slotted it into the empty net.

After that, Granville ran out of steam and couldn’t make their possession count for anything.

Highlight of the match had to the the Trois Rivières manager who, having loudly cried for a yellow card to be given to the Granville n°7 a short while earlier, becoming furiously upset when the Granville manager cried for a yellow card to be given to a Trois Rivières player. You can’t make up a story like that, can you?

We had yet another Sleep of the Dead last night, and I spent much of it in a cosy little menage à deux with TOTGA. She didn’t get away last night, not ‘arf she didn’t. Unfortunately it never reached the stage that made a celebrity out of the legendary inmate of a monastery in Bohemia (mind you, nothing can do that these days) but it was certainly a night with a difference.
And later on, I was in the Houses of Parliament interrogating the Chancellor of the Exchequer, leading him a nice merry dance down a mazy little path until he has committed himself unequivocally, and then announcing that there was a mistake in his figures, he was a billion Pounds short in his calculations, and what was he going to do now – to which, having committed himself unequivocally to his position, he had no answer.

After breakfast and a shower, and a machine-load of washing, I set out for the shops. We did the usual round of LIDL, NOZ and LeClerc and I bought nothing of any excitement except in LeClerc.

Several of you will recall that I keep a bright yellow rain jacket with removable fleece lining in Caliburn. But when I went to live in Leuven it made a dramatic reappearance on the streets seeing as I hadn’t anticipated being there in the winter and so didn’t have a winer jacket.

But it’s old, dirty and as much as I might try, it won’t come up clean at all. It’s OK for being round and about doing things but not really for being anywhere important.

And in LeClerc they had a much more respectable bright yellow rain jacket. No fleece lining but there was a size XL so I can wear an ordinary fleece underneath. It was expensive for what it was, but it’ll be better for travelling about in the Spring and Summer.

Back here I had a little … errr … relax before lunch and then this afternoon with fiddling about with the new hi-fi that I bought the other week (and with which I’m even more impressed than with my galvanised steel dustbin) I could pick up the live football commentary on the BBC – although they seemed to be more interested in what was happening underneath the Directors’ Box at the Olympic Stadium than on the football pitch at St James’s Park.

In a change from the usual Saturday procedures, I had the bass guitar out too. I’ve had Liege And Lief – one of the best albums ever recorded, going round n an endless loop for the last few days, and suddenly the bass line to Crazy Man Michael, one of the best songs ever written, leapt into the front of my mind.

And so I sat down for half an hour and picked it out. And chapeau to Ashley Hutchings because it’s not easy.

Back home from the football through the deserted streets of Granville and 114% of my daily activity, I had the last of my tinned English curries. Tinned food for the next I don’t-Know-How-Long will have to be something different, like the champignons à la Grècque or the spicy beans that I can pick up in Belgium.

And here’s a thing.

A told you about how nice the weather had been today. Today is the first day in 2018 where I’ve not had the heat on in the apartment.

Saturday 3rd March 2018 – OHH HECK!!!

Yes, I awoke this morning to find bright sunlight streaming into the bedroom.

Blasted 08:20, wasn’t it? The alarms hadn’t gone off.

Subsequent enquiries revealed that the battery and gone flat in the telephone. And so I was in something of a panic.

So much so that I forgot where I had seen during the night. But it did involve a spare wheel of a vehicle – the type that hangs on the back door of a 4×4 and how the owner of the vehicle wanted to make sure that we knew precisely what wheel was under the rainproof cover before we ordered a spare part or something for it.

But I medicated, breakfasted, showered and hit the streets – out of the apartment at the usual time. And here I bumped into Mrs Neighbour who had with her husband just come back from 2 months in Vietnam. It seems that he too spent New Years Eve in hospital, with the same bronchitis that I had. It seems to have been an epidemic all around the world, this illness.

I did the usual round of the usual shops today. At LIDL they had a couple of the sorbet makers left over so I blagged one and I shall have a go with it this coming week.

And at Leclerc I ought a computer mouse. The “other” laptop that I use as a media centre has a broken mouse (that was how I bought it so cheaply) and I’ve been using an old plug-in mouse to work it. And it is so easy to manoeuvre for my 3D programs that I went out and bought one for this laptop. It makes a whole world of difference.

But going into Leclerc it was bright sunlight so I ought a ticket for the cheap open-air standing area at the football ground. nd when I came out the rain was asolutely teeming down. That wasn’t a good plan, was it?

After lunch I spoke to Rosemary on the phone but having only given my phone the briefest of charges the battery went flat. And for some reason the phone wouldn’t charge up off the laptop … "it won’t if it’s not plugged into the mains" – ed … and so I ended up doing a few other things before going to the football.

And as for that, the 540-odd of us in the stadium were treated to a rather unusual sight of a linesman and a referee officiating at a totally different match to the one that we were watching, and I’m still shaking my head at some of it.

Tonight’s opponents were the reserves of Stade Rennais – a professional outfit with a professional set-up and a professional approach to the game. And it told, too.

They might be a couple of places below Granville in the table but I don’t know why because they played some very pretty football. They were well-organised and moved the ball around well, and their three goals were all excellent.

What didn’t help matters was that US Granville allowed them far too much room in midfield and it looked to me as if they wre refusing to close them down.

But the three goals of Granville were from the usual breaks down the wing from the rapid wingers and overlapping full-backs.

However, going back to Stade Rennais’s professionalism, they were very careful to punch the Granville n°5 when the attention of the linesman and referee was elsewhere.

And the Granville was stupid enough to punch back as soon as the referee had turned round. The red card that the referee gave him was more for stupidity than the punch.

But that’s the difference between a professional team and an amateur one. THese amateur players are sometimes so naïve.

The referee did however lose control of the match, which is hardly a surprise with some of the decisions, and it all ended rather nastily. I don’t know what went on in the tunnel afterwards but it was greeted with hoots of derision from the crowd in the stands.

And If I’ve read some of the subsequent comments, it looks as if a few red cards were brandished in the tunnel. We shall see.

It was a pleasant walk back and I didn’t feel the strain, surprisingly. AND i4M ON 111% of my daily activity.

Tea was different. With running low on tinned curries? I tried a new line that LeClerc was offering. Mushrooms in the Greek style. And to my surprise, it wasn’t too bad. Not up to curry standard, but nice enough. I always eat out of a tin on Saturday because I’m usually out at the football or something and I don’t have much time, energy or ambition to cook very much.

So we’ll try this time for an early night, and see where that takes us. Sunday is a lie-in and I need it.

Saturday 24th February 2018 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

And it was so nice to receive so many greeting from so many different people.

And it’s so nice to be here too. It’s been a long, hard road this last 27 months or so and there’s plenty more to come as regular readers of this rubbish will recall.

But despite everything, I wasn’t here last night. I was away with the fairies.

I’m not sure now who I was with at the start of last night’s travels but it quickly developed rather distressingly into a family affair and I don’t need that right now. But first I was with two other people – whom I forget right now – and I can’t remember what it was that we were actually doing. But it had snowed quite heavily and there was plenty about. All of these kids were enjoying themselves in the snow and we quickly organised them into two teams, one of boys and one of girls, and arranged for them to have a snowball fight. My father made an appearance and made a ribald remark, to which I replied that the boys were at the top of the hill and the girls at the bottom, and no doubt they would all meet in the middle at some point in the fullness of time. But what depressed me was that here the kids were, having no end of harmless fun and the headlines on the local radio news programme were all about “gangs of marauding youths rampaging through the town” – and it was nothing like that at all.
From there we repaired to my brother’s house. He was having all kinds of printer issues so I spent a while examining everything. It appeared that he was putting too much paper in, for a start, and was aligning it wrongly so that only one of the guide wheels was picking up the paper, and so pulling it in off-centre. So I told him what to do and showed him how to do it, and left him to it. Half an hour later he told me that it was still doing it, so I went to see. And not only had he changed the printer from the one that we had used before, he had the bad habit of pulling backwards on the paper – just like you would do with the elastic of a catapult – just before the printer went to drag it in. And so the paper missed.
Next stop was my niece. She was printing her right-wing revolutionary tracts in a kind of purple-red ink but she too was having printing issues. Her scanner had an automatic feed but it was feeding all of the papers in at a time rather than feeding them in one by one as it was supposed to. And as a result we ended up there for hours having to feed them in one by one by hand.

And it was cold in the living room too when I awoke. The temperature outside had fallen to minus 1°C outside during the night. And while that’s a far cry from the minus 16C and minus 19°C that we used to have in the Auvergne, it’s nevertheless the coldest that I had recorded since I’ve been here.

After the medication and breakfast and so on, I had a shower and then went off to the shops. And I spent more than I intended too too. I’ve let supplies run down a little this last few weeks and I needed to stock up somewhat.

So LIDL And LeClerc felt the benefit of my largesse, as did NOZ. I treated myself to three DVDs – an obscure spaghetti wewtern and a couple of 1950d cowboy series collections. As well as that, there was a kind of shoulder bag thing, quite small but with several pockets and just the right size for the new camera and telephoto lens. Only €4:99 too.

Almost every petrol station had a queue at it this morning too, and so as I was quite low I fuelled up with diesel. And then had a close encounter with a motorist who decided to reverse out of a car parking space without looking, right in front of Caliburn.

Back here, I … errr … had a relax for a while and so consequently had rather a late lunch. And then set about to organise a load of washing. However I was interrupted as one usually is when one is in a rush so I was rather late going out.

Liz and Terry had invited me for a Birthday tea so I went for a good chat too. Liz made me a nice vegan birthday cake but with no candles on it. Apparently she’s rather concerned about Global Warming. I did tell her that these days you work backwards and count the years that I have left, but that cut no ice with Liz.

ON the way back the floodlights were on at Cerences so I stopped to watch the last 20 minutes of football. I couldn’t tell you who they were playing because the guy whom I asked mumbled something that I couldn’t understand. So I asked him again, and he repeated it in exactly the same fashion so I’m none the wiser now.

And in the time that I was there nothing exciting happened either.

So now my birthday is over. And I’m off to bed. Will I still be here next year? Who knows. But what I do know is that my next six-month session of treatment starts at 08:50 on Thursday 15th March.

I am not looking forward to that at all.

Friday 9th February 2018 – HAVING REGAINED MY COMPOSURE …

… after the mail that I received from the Bank yesterday, I sent them a reply this afternoon. Carefully thought out, I’ve asked for a reply to five points that, for me, are quite important in my dealings with them.

And I received an answer from them as well- which basically didn’t answer any questions at all.

But I did learn one thing – and that is that the person with whom I have been dealing recently “is no longer with the Bank”. So that’s two employees of the Credit Agricole in Granville that I’ve seen off. Who’s next? The woman who is dealing with my affairs now is a Madame Rottier. And I bet that that’s a spelling mistake too.

And for another change I had the Sleep of the Dead yet again last night. And quite rightly so. It’s about time. And I was up and about when the second alarm went off, which is even better.

We had the usual arrangements this morning of course, and once the medication worked I went out and about to do my shopping. The idea was to do it this morning before they started to close off all of the roads for the Carnaval. The downside of this is that everyone else decided to do the same thing too, and so everywhere was crowded.

First port of call though was the Tax Office. I’ve had the bill for my stay in hospital over New Year so that needs to be paid. With me going to Leuven next week, I’m staying for a couple of days extra and I’ve arranged to go into Brussels on Friday where I can call in at my Health Insurance people and hand in all of the receipts.

But the queue there was quite something. I don’t know how long it takes to pay a bill – for me it’s about 30 seconds – but the woman on the cash desk was really making a performance of it all and everyone was quite frustrated by her “work to rule”.

LIDL came up with nothing at all spectacular, but all of the excitement was outside in the car park.

Liz told me the other day that they had had a heavy snowfall where she lives – just 15 miles or so from here – and that was hard to believe considering the weather that we have had.

But here in the car park at LIDL was a car with snow embedded under the wheel arches and with a large lump that had just fallen off.

After LIDL I went to a new shop. Liz had told me about a frozen food place called Picard that she had found and there is one in Granville. So I popped in for a look around. There’s tons more stuff than there is anywhere else, but at a price. Nevertheless, it’s handy to know if I need anything that isn’t mainstream.

Bureau Vallée was next, and they had restocked their 2GB memory sticks. So another two have now disappeared into my apartment.

After lunch and my little correspondence session, I braved the howling gale (it really was wicked) and went for a walk.

My route took me around the headland and it was well-worth the struggle against the wind because I was treated to a most spectacular sight of the waves being hurled over the sea wall into the tidal basin.

This is one of the reasons why I’ve come to live by the seaside. The power of the waves and the storms is quite impressive. You need to remember that I’m living right where the highest ever wind speed to hit the French coast was recorded – 220kph in 1987

Back here with a coffee and a … errr … relax, and then a session on the database followed by the usual half-hour on the guiter. And I suddenly found myself playing the bass line to Budgie’s “Nude Disintegrating Parachutist Woman”. That brings back memories from when I met Ray Phillips, the former Budgie drummer who had played on that album and was looking for a bassist for a gig he was playing with an ad-hoc band at a pub in Nantwich one night in 1977.

After tea (the rest of the oven chips, beans and falafel) I went into town to see what was happening with the carnaval.

The funfair was all closed up and in darkness, but there were quite a few people around in the streets. So much so that a fast-food outlet had opened its doors to serve them.

I can’t say that I was tempted very much – the smell of roasted flesh is disgusting if you ask me.

Everyone was heading into the square so I followed them to see what was going on.

Almost everyone was in fancy-dress, and that’s because there was a carnaval-eve ball taking place, with a rock band and everything. But far too “young” for me. Never mind the Phyllosan to fortify the over-40s – what do they have to sixtify the over-60s?

But it did remind me of the noise that I once heard from the village hall in Byley a good few years ago.
“What’s all that noise going on in there?”
“They are holding a Young Farmer’s Ball”
“And what’s the matter? Can’t he get them to let go?”

Not feeling in the least bit tired (but rather fatigued nevertheless) I went for a walk to the Place Maréchal Foch and the Casino.

I’d not really been for a good wander around there in the dark before, so now seemed to be as good a time as any.

There were cars parked all over the place, as you might expect with it being carnaval and half of the streets closed off, and it rather spoilt the view unfortunately.

We’ve seen plenty of photographs of the casino in the past but we have never seen it quite like this.

There’s definitely something about the effects of artificial lighting at night-time to bring out the best of a building, and that’s exactly what we have here. It really does look good.

In the corner to the left of the casino we have the little theatre. I’ve not yet been there – but that’s basically because there’s nothing that ever goes on there that is of interest to me.

Instead, I continued with my walk around the Place Marechal Foch, and passed by the Hotel des Bains.

This has been described as “delightfully chic” in some travel guides, which means that it isn’t the kind of place that you are ever likely to find Yours Truly spending a night these days.

But nevertheless, the building is quite impressive. It’s fairly modern but it’s been built with some kind of tasteful eye on the history of the town which is always nice to see. It’s a shame that more people can’t make an effort.

With still 12%of my daily activity to do, I carried on with my walk. and I’m glad I did because I spotted this way in the distance.

And when was the last time that you saw a Bedford CF on the road anywhere? I haven’t seen one for years. The last British “Vauxhall” vehicle, they wer emade from 1969 to compete with the Ford Transit but came on the scene far too late.

The Transit was already well-established by then, with the previous CA Bedford putting up no resistance, and the CF didn’t last long. It disappeared with hardly a whimper in 1987 when the “Cevel” vans of Peugeot and Citroen flooded into the UK.

And I for one never expected to see one again.

No shopping tomorrow, but there’s a carnaval procession. I mustn’t miss that, so I’ll have to be in the Town Centre at 13:30.

No peace for the wicked.

Saturday 3rd February 2018 – WELL, THAT WASN’T …

… very much of a walk this evening. And I didn’t go out at all this afternoon either.

Mind you, I can’t say that I blame myself at all. The respite that we had from the rain yesterday didn’t last and it’s pouring down outside. All football cancelled tonight, which is hardly a surprise. This has to be the wettest winter that I have ever encountered.

I ended up being late to bed last night, but I still found time to go on a perambulation during the night.

I was working … "he means “employed”" – ed … in a Government office such as the VAT office somewhere and it was announced that we were moving out to another town. The secretary of the local Workingmen’s Club had been sending us notes about entertainment that I had been using in the Staff bulletins so I decided to go to thank him and return all of his notes. I had them all copied into a mauve-coloured binder that I intended to return to him. In the club he was on the stage so I climbed up there to thank him and return his notes but at the very last minute remembered that there were all kinds of other notes from other people in there and it wouldn’t do any good whatever for them to fall into the wrong hands and enter the public domain.

Once more, it was a struggle to leave my bed and you’ve no idea how much I’m looking forward to my Sunday lie-in tomorrow.

After the usul start to the day I had a shower and a general clean-up in my nice, clean bathroom, and then headed for the shops.

In the usual shops, LeClerc and LIDL, I just bought the usual stuff with nothing exciting at all. And I bought the hi-fi cable and connectors at Mr Bricolage.

But I discovered a new shop that has just opened – an office supplies shop called Bureau Vallée. And here I struck quite lucky.

Remember me saying that I wanted some 2GB memory sticks? Well as it happened, they had three on sale at a reasonable price too, so they have disappeared into my shopping bag. They had a decent 4-hole perforator at a reasonable price for which I have been searching for years and a few other bits and pieces too for good measure.

I shall be going back there too, because while their mainstream stuff is rather pricey, their budget products are really good value, which makes a change these days.

But I had to laugh at NOZ. That’s the kind of place that’s almost impossible to describe. It sells surplus, fire-damaged and bankruptcy clearance stocks, time-limited food goods a,d all of that kind of thing. They try their best to keep it tidy but it inevitably turns into something like a jumble sale within half an hour of opening.

Now my new smartphone is a cheap Chinese import that I reckon might have been for a mainstream manufacturer but now outdated. I’ve had it a week but with there being no case for it, the screen is already scratched more than I would like.

And there in NOZ was a huge heap of all different kinds of mobile phone shells, all mixed up and (for the most part) taken out of the boxes so that people could try them.

I spent a good 15 minutes rummaging around and in the end found one that is an exact fit for my phone, with even the switch buttons being uncovered, but the camera hole is slightly out of position (I can drill that out). Not in the box of course but after a good five minutes rummaging around I found an empty box and packaging, and put it in that to take to the checkout.

The fact that the price tag on the box said €2:99 – the cheapest that I could see – had nothing whatever to do with my choice of box.

Just for a change, I decided to spice up my lunchtime soup a little. It’s tomato and vermicelli for the next couple of days, so besides the usual pasta and bulghour, I added some basil, oregano and chili powder. And different it was too.

With no football and no possibility of going for a walk this afternoon I sorted out the music onto the 2gb data sticks. I now have three and I could do with a pile more. I shall have to go back to Bureau Vallée next weekend and hope that they have some more.

But as well as that, I sorted out a box of paperwork that I had collected ages ago from hanging around in Caliburn. That’s been weeded, sorted, filed and some of it binned. And I didn’t say that I found in NOZ some container that will do fine as a waste paper collector.

Having organised that, I set out to master this database that I want to build for my photos.

And if there is a worse database program in the world I have yet to find it.

In the old days, you could program them so that the numbers would automatically increment, fields would “fill down”, “fill up” or “fill series” like with spreadsheets, and columns could be programmed to auto-adjust for width of data. But if this can do all of that, I have yet to discover how to make it work.

I was hoping to have this running in a couple of hours but I have this uncomfortable feeling that unless I can find out how to make it do what I want, I’m going to be here for ever.

Like with most computer programming, there has to be a way to do things like this because they are the kind of requirement that everyone needs.

But I wish that I knew how to do it.

EPIC HALL

The Poisoned Pen (or Poisoned Chalice, more like) – or my relentless struggle against reality

Category Archives: Leclerc

Monday 4th June 2018 – I’M NOT SURPRISED …

Saturday 2nd June 2018 – I HAD A REALLY NICE …

Saturday 26th May 2018 – I HAVE JUST SEEN …

Thursday 24th May 2018 – OUCH! THAT HURT!

Saturday 20th May 2018 – LAST MATCH …

Saturday 12th May 2018 – IT’S A WELL-KNOWN PHENOMENON …

Saturday 28th April 2018 – PHEW!

Saturday 7th April 2018 – SO THAT WAS …

Saturday 31st March 2018 – YOU MISSED …

Monday 26th March 2018 – HOW LONG IS IT …

Saturday 10th March 2018 – BRAIN OF BRITAIN STRIKES AGAIN!

Saturday 3rd March 2018 – OHH HECK!!!

Saturday 24th February 2018 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Friday 9th February 2018 – HAVING REGAINED MY COMPOSURE …

Saturday 3rd February 2018 – WELL, THAT WASN’T …

Your reactions

Excellent

Useful

Interesting

Weird

Surprising

Boring