Tag Archives: kenneth williams

Thursday 30th August 2012 – I DIDN’T DO …

… anything like as much as I was going to do today.

I was up early and spent a few hours on the computer as usual, but it was after that that it all started to go wrong

Finding a fully-charged battery for the Hitachi SDS drill was the first issue that I had, and once I’d managed that, then drilling the brick pillars has caused some of the bricks to split. That’s annoying to say the least.

But anyway the window frames are fitted and that’s something. Next plan was to fit the fascia boards to the end of the chevrons on the lean-to,

However, in an astounding achievement the type of which surely only I can be capable, it seems that having cut the wood to the right length, I somehow have managed to discard the piece that I want and I’ve painted the off-cut instead.

As Kenneth Williams once famously said, “I’m often taken aback by my own brilliance”

I didn’t get much done after lunch as the phone rang. The handbrake on Marianne’s son’s car has ceased to function and so could I look at it.

He brought it round and I dismantled the rear end (brake drums held on by the wheel bearings, how I hate that!) to find that the auto adjusters aren’t working. So no surprise as the handbrake needs 12 clicks to work.

I reset the adjusters but that didn’t do much so crawling underneath the car, it turns out that the cable adjuster (there’s one of them too) has slipped out of position. I reset that and now the brakes will stop that little Twingo on a sixpence.

But that cable is totally weird. Most cars have one single cable and there’s a slider at the centre of tha cable that’s attached to the handbrake arm so that the brakes pull evenly, and when you work the manual adjuster, the adjuster works on both brakes.

But not the Twingo.

There’s no slider at all but just a single fitting on the end of the handbrake arm, and two cables, one for each rear brake on each side.

Consequently although moving the manual adjuster will tighten up the cable, it doesn’t equalise the brakes. If one side is lack, then tightening up the cable adjuster will over-tighten the good side.

It took us ages therefore to adjust the brakes correctly, setting up the automatic adjusters individually by trial and error until they were equal, and then tightening up the cable adjuster.

And then of course we had the issue of refitting the hubs and bearings, and torquing up the nuts. That’s something I really hate doing.

Back on the lean-to afterwards (just as well I finished the car as we had a torrential storm straight afterwards), I’ve fitted one window pane (one of them survived having a ladder thrown on it) and the second one is ready to cut.

But by this time, it was 19:00 and I was well fed up, so I called it a day.

And tea tonight? Courgette and lentil curry. You can see that things are going berserk in the garden right now.

Tuesday 6th March 2012 – I’VE FINISHED …

home made compost bin les guis virlet puy de dome france… the compost bin as you can see.

Well, when I say “finished”, I don’t really mean “finished”, because as you can see, it’s a modular structure. I have aboout 10 of these square modules and I can stack them one on top of another, increasing the height as I build up the heap and decreasing the height as the contents compost down.

As you will note, there are air gaps to aerate the heap. This helps the composting process.

The base of the heap is an old air bed that has given up the ghost. I did have some special stuff to use but like anything else around here I can’t find anything when I really want it. The air bed will have to do.

The purpose of that is to suppress whatever weeds might want to push their way up through the heap.

There are currently two other active compost bins. One has rotted down nicely and when I empty it (by adding the contents to the raised beds) I can take it apart and use the modules to build up the bin here.

They will fit of course because the modules are all the same size – namely 875mm long.

“And why 875mm long?” I hear you ask.

That’s because they were made from a job lot of 3500mm planks that were cut into fours.

The other bin won’t be emptied for another year. That bin was only started a year ago and so it still needs time to settle down. The routine is that you spend a year filling a bin, and then leave it to stand for a year.

The contents of that particular bin will go into the raised beds next winter and then I can move it to behind the one there – where the spade is standing up.

gardening raised beds les guis virlet puy de dome franceOnce that was organised I started to dig over the ground to the right of it – where the garden fork is lying down.

I have a raised bed from the first attempt at gardening, one of 3500mm x 1000mm, left over from those days and the plan is to run it across there, behind the last row of raised beds, and plant the soft fruit bushes in it. This year though, I’ll use it for the new potatoes.

Preparing that patch is not easy. It’s part of the primeval forest and there is a ton of ground alder in it as well as huge masses of thick tree roots. All of these have to come out and it’s taking ages. It won’t be finished for a bit.

In other news, regular readers of this rubbish will recall me talking … "on numerous occasions" – ed … about Yakima Canutt.

He was a stunt man from the late 1920s who was picked up by a very young John Wayne and co-starred with him in many of his earliest films of the 1930s. When acting became much more sophisticated, Canutt was one of the thousands of actors who were clearly not up to it and disappeared from the silver screen.

Wayne didn’t abandon him, however, and on the later (as in 1934/35/36) batch of Wayne’s B-feature movies, the second-unit director is none other than one Yakima Canutt.

So what’s the interest in him tonight? Well, this evening I was relaxing with a DVD, Breakheart Pass, starring Charles Bronson.

Based on a story by Alastair Maclean, it’s easily one of the best of the “non-western westerns”, even if the directing is totally awful and we have to put up with Bronson’s appalling floozie Jill Ireland, without whom he won’t go anywhere even if she can’t act to save her life and who hasn’t recovered from co-starring as the outrageous Kenneth Williams’ grilfriend in Carry On Nurse [DVD].  

But anyway, before I bore you all to death with my own polemic, I happened to notice the credits of Breakheart Pass as the rolled by. And who was the second-unit director and stunt co-ordinator? Yes, none other than one Yakima Canutt. He kept on going until he was 90.

And the snow that I mentioned yesterday? Well, you can see all about that in the photo above.

Not a flake.

Saturday 16th January 2010 – I dunno where this morning went.

The alarm went off as usual and I lay semi-somnolent in bed for a while waiting for the second call. And it became apparent that I wasn’t going to get a second call – when I looked at the clock closely it was 09:54. I must have slept through the first call and heard the second one.

But that wasn’t the best of it. Something had clearly happened through the night such as the clock switching itself off and back on. And it’s a radio-controlled clock so it sets its own time but for some reason its time zone is set to GMT-2 so it was in actual fact 10:54.

So I steam-cleaned part of the kitchen (and it needed it) and then went off to Commentry for shopping. There was absolutely nothing of interest although I did create some mild amusement in one of the shops. The cashier gave my €20 note a thorough inspection before accepting it, so I couldn’t resist the temptation.
It is ok?” I asked
yes, it’s fine” she replied.
Good. I’ll make some more like that tonight“.
But as Alfred Hitchcock once said to Kenneth Williams, “it’s a total waste of time telling jokes to foreigners!”

After that it was off to Neris and the swimming baths. And don’t know why I bothered. They’ve had a price increase and it’s now €3:00 to go in. Water at 30 degrees and the interior at 17 degrees. They should have specified that it was fahrenheit and not centigrade though – I froze in there.

And now I’m clean I’ll change the bedding and my nightie tonight. Yes, I change my sheets and pillowcases once a year – whether they need it or not.

Monday 23rd November 2009 – I made myself a brazier today…

home made brazier… out of an old 25-litre chemicals drum.

Now a brazier is something that you use for burning stuff, not something that a woman puts her boobs in, Rhys. And I have plenty of stuff for burning.

Long-term readers of my outpourings will recall that I already have a brazier – the legendary galvanised steel dustbin with which I am very impressed. But it’s full of ashes and overflowing with other stuff and all of that is extremely damp with the hurricane that is still blowing outside. And the stuff for burning is piling up so I’ll use this, burn stuff in small amounts and then empty the ashes regularly.

Today I’ve started the megtidyup inside the house on the floor below here, getting ready to resume work. I have a brick wall to demolish so I need to make the space to drop it. Then I have to take the stairs out. I was going to make some stairs completely from scratch but it occurs to me that I can use the sides from the one Im taking out, and just narrow the treads and the risers.

In other news, the commune is organising a discussion evening in a week or so’s time. The subject?
Cremation and Funeral Customs in the Auvergne“.
In a commune of just 270 people where there is an average age of 103 I bet that will go down a storm. Last time they did it, they went on a guided tour of the local crematorium. The superintendant of the crem. got talking to one of the visitors.
“How old are you?” he asked.
I’m 104” was the reply.
Well, it’s hardly worth your while going home again, is it?”

They are also organising a visit to an opera at Vichy – you can see what exciting lives we have here. But I’m afraid I shan’t be going. I’m sure I can find plenty of things much more exciting to do than going to an opera – such as visiting the dentists or emptying the beichstuhl. I’m a big fan of Kenneth Williams, who on one occasion was talkiing about the opera with a friend.
You must admit that Wagner has some really magical moments” said the friend.
Indeed” replied Kenneth. “But he has some dreadful half-hours“.

But Sir Edward Appleton summed up operas succinctly as far as I am concerned. “I don’t mind whatever language an opera is sung in – as long as it’s sung in a language I don’t understand“.

And the temperature has plummeted. It struggled to 11 degrees outside today and it’s only 14.2 in here right now. I’ll be putting the heater on tomorrow if it doesn’t warm up again.