Monday 23rd June 2025 – I HAD A …

… special visitor during the night last night – someone who hasn’t been to see me for quite some considerable time.

But more of that anon. This time tomorrow I shall be … well … not sitting in a rainbow, but sitting in a hospital bed in Paris where they will be starting this Rituximab cancer treatment.

Or, rather, restarting it, because, as regular readers of this rubbish will recall, that was the product (or Mabthera, a generic thereof) that they gave me right at the beginning back in February 2016 after the chemotherapy failed.

And it worked at that moment too. Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that I was unable to walk and so ill that I had to live with friends because I was unable to cope by myself, yet six months later I was in Canada. I’m not expecting the same miracles this time, but any little help and relief that it might give me will be most welcome.

And in other news, it looks as if this apartment move will be taking place during the week of 18th-25th of August. That seems to be when the usual suspects are collecting themselves together, and I’m recruiting further volunteers if anyone else would like to join in. All are welcome and I do not practise any kind of discrimination at all. I hate everyone equally, regardless of race, creed, colour or sexual orientation.

Meanwhile, back at the ran … errr … apartment, had I exerted myself last night I could have been in bed well before 23:00 but as usual, dillying and dallying about, it was about 23:30 when I finally crawled in underneath the covers.

When I awoke at 05:20 I was somewhere about in the dialysis centre but whatever it was that I was doing evaporated from my mind immediately … "not that there’s much in there to hold it in" – ed … which is just as well because, as regular readers of this rubbish will recall, I don’t like to dwell on that place when I’m not there. It’s bad enough that I do when I am.

The first task that I undertook when I finally settled down at the desk (at … errr … 05:50) was to listen to the dictaphone notes to find out where I’d been during the night. And, as I said earlier, I had a special visitor come to see me. There was a group of us in a house somewhere and who should come in but our old friend (or mine, anyway), Zero. And what a long time it’s been since she last put in an appearance. I wanted to say “hello” to her but she walked right through the front of the house all the way to the stairs. I pretended to chase after, and she saw me, let out a squeal and ran upstairs. Her mother said something about going to frighten her away and that I had to look after her at that end of the room. My brother was upstairs in his room at the time and I could hear him and Zero talking to each other. I thought “how am I going to look after Zero at this end of the room if she has already gone upstairs?”. I thought in any case that he was supposed to be busy doing some things that he needed to do rather than sit around talking, but apparently not.

So here we go again. Zero having far more sense than to hang around chatting to me, and a member of my family turning up in my nocturnal rambles to spoil all my fun. I thought that we’d put all of that behind us, but apparently not. Presumably, some psychiatrist somewhere would come out with a few interesting remarks about this kind of situation, but it would all be news to me. There’s no other logical explanation for it, although whatever logic would have to do with what went on in my head during the night would also be news to me.

Round about 07:00 everyone else began to surface so I went for a good wash and scrub up ready for dialysis and Emilie the Cute Consultant, although I forgot to shave. And then we sat around waiting for Isabelle the Nurse to come to see me.

Almost as soon as she left, the taxi came round to take me to the Medical Centre to see the doctor about my heart.

At first, I saw his assistant who coupled me up to an echograph machine with a rapidity that took me quite by surprise.
"That’s not the first time that you’ve done this, is it?"
"Oh no" she replied. "Only a few thousand times.".

When she’d finished, she took me into the doctor’s room where he gave me a thorough examination.
"It’s not your heart that’s causing your problems" he said. "That’s working fine."

And that’s just as well because it’s only my heart that is keeping me going. With my low blood count and low blood pressure, my heart is having to beat about twice as fast as anyone else’s. Anyone’s heart can do that for a while, but mine’s been doing it for almost ten years. When it gives out, I’ll be gone in an instant.

But at least he found my heart and I still have one. I’ve not turned into a Conservative yet.

"Where’s all your paperwork?" he asked.
"No-one told me to bring any" I replied. "The dialysis centre arranged this appointment. I imagined that they would have sent you whatever you needed"
"You should always bring all of your medical paperwork with you when you come" he said
"I’ll remember that" I replied. "Do you know where I can hire a fork-lift truck?"

But as Kenneth Williams and Alfred Hitchcock once said, "it’s a waste of time telling jokes to foreigners."

Back here (in the rain) I was halfway through eating breakfast when the ‘phone rang.
"What are you doing tomorrow?" a voice asked
"Not a lot" I replied.
"Good. Come to Paris and we’ll start the Rituximab"

So there we are. Now a frantic ringing-round to book taxis and obtain permission from the Securité Sociale.

My cleaner turned up as usual to fit my anaesthetic patches and then we waited around for a while. As the weather was now back to sunshine, we went downstairs to wait outside.

The taxi was bang on time with our other passenger already in, and we shot off to Avranches at the Speed of Light, me with my eyes closed. It’s not very often I feel nervous as a passenger these days.

And as I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … there’s no point being ten minutes early anywhere if you have to spend that ten minutes washing your underwear.

When we arrived there were three ambulances ahead of us unloading the horizontal patients so I knew how this would pan out. And when one of those ahead in the queue had a crisis and everyone had to rush to help, I knew that that was that.

Having a trainee didn’t improve my morale much, and my 13:30 arrival turned into a 14:30 coupling up.

The doctor came round to see me to ask me how I was.
"OK at the moment but it won’t be for much longer if you keep on prescribing me these" and I showed him one of the boxes of tablets that I’d been prescribed on Saturday, a product that contained lactose.
"And your doctor moaned at me a few weeks ago when I had that attack of pancreatitis"

He didn’t stay very long after that.

The dietician came to see me too, to ask how I was getting on with the disgusting drink that she prescribed for me.

When I told her that I was taking it as instructed, she replied "Good" and renewed the prescription for another three months. I should have said nothing.

Julie the Cook was back from her holidays and she had ten minutes to come to sit on my bed for a chat, which was nice. She’s a really nice, bubbly, cheerful girl and always has a smile on her face. She can also perch on my bed any time she likes.

When I was uncoupled, I went out to the taxi but we had to wait (and wait, and wait) for another passenger who needs a lot of assistance. And who is dropped off first so it was at 19:37 when we finally arrived home.

My adjustable stool had arrived this afternoon and so things are looking much more positive downstairs. The stool will certainly ease my cooking issues, as I can now sit down while I’m at the worktop cooking, and take the weight off my knees.

Tea tonight was baked potato, salad in balsamic vinegar and a mix of falafel and veggie balls. It was delicious as usual.

Tomorrow I have bags to pack, sandwiches to make and food to rustle up, seeing as I don’t know how long I’ll be staying. They say that I’ll be back on Wednesday, but we shall see. I’m really grateful that my friend is here to deal with the kitchen that will (hopefully) arrive.

But first, I’m off to bed in the hope that Zero will come back.

Seeing as we have been talking about the doctor’s surgery just now … "well, one of us has" – ed … the patient before me was complaining about having a very sore throat
"Right" said the doctor. "Go over to the window, stick your thumbs in your ears and stick out your tongue as far as you can."
"Will that make me feel better?" asked the patient
"Oh no" replied the doctor. "My wife’s standing on the pavement outside."

Sunday 22nd June 2025 – AFTER YESTERDAY’S EXCITEMENT …

… today has been a much more normal day, highlighted by the fact that I actually managed to eat something.

And when I say “a normal day”, what I mean is one that actually began at 05:05 this morning, which is a pretty normal time for my day to begin these days.

The morning began, once I’d hauled myself out of bed of course, by making a start on the notes from yesterday. Not that it was actually 05:05 at that moment because it did take me rather longer than usual to haul myself out of bed after yesterday.

When I finished the notes, I had the dictaphone notes to transcribe. It was a surprise that there was actually something on there – I certainly wasn’t expecting it. There was a Football League playoff match between Huddersfield Town and someone else, taking place in Huddersfield. I was in a hotel and saw the outside broadcasters turn up so I was helping them install all their equipment. They were on the roof of an annexe at the back of the hotel where they had everything set up. I gave them a hand to install the equipment. We settled down on this sofa afterwards – there were five of us on this sofa with a couple of TV monitors and a screen, and began to watch the preparations. The commentator turned round to me and said “here, you can’t sit here and watch the game”. That really disappointed me and in the end I had to go to try to find another vantage point on this roof to look, but there was a fog settling down over and the view was becoming pretty hopeless. In the end I had to just shrug my shoulders and walk away. I thought that that was quite disappointing after all of the help that I’d given the group to set up

Why an outside broadcast unit was on the roof of a hotel watching a football match I really don’t know, but I bet that they had a screen and some TV monitors if they were trying to watch the game through a fog. It’s reminiscent of the GAME BETWEEN CONNAH’S QUAY AND BALA BACK IN JANUARY when they tried to play football in a fog so thick that the linesmen couldn’t see across to the other side of the pitch.

However, being disappointed in the outcome when I’ve done my best to help people is also par for the course. As Ambrose Bierce once famously said, "A year is a period of 365 disappointments".

There was time to do some more work on the outstanding radio programme before everyone else awoke, and then, having realised that I’d spent the night sleeping in my day clothes, I grabbed some clean clothes and went into the bathroom for a good wash.

The washing was piling up in the bathroom, seeing as there are more people than me living here at the moment, so I filled up the washing machine and set that going while I went in to try to drink some coffee. I found that I can’t drink strong coffee, so I had to thin it out with some boiling water. And, even worse, I can’t drink much of it before it begins to upset my stomach.

My faithful cleaner stuck her head in the door to see how I was doing, which was nice of her, followed by Isabelle the Nurse who was back to her cheery old self after yesterday’s emotion, and The Hound of the Baskervilles dragged its master off for walkies.

When the latter two came back, I tried some breakfast. A small amount of porridge, very thin, and so it overflowed the dish and flooded the microwave. I was half-expecting my slice of toast to set the kitchen on fire, the way things were going.

By now the washing was ready so we figured out a way to put the clothes airer up in the bedroom window on the windowsill. That’s the first time that the window has been opened since I lost the mobility in my legs. I can no longer go a-mountaineering over the chest of drawers in the bedroom.

Later on, we went for a drive northwards along the coast, visiting a few of the tidal islands (luckily it was low tide), finding a place to stop where my visitor could at long last have some fish and chips (they were delicious, apparently), a beach where the Hound of the Baskervilles could go for a roll in the sand, and ending up at the mouth of the River Sienne.

A turning tide prevented us from going much further so we turned and headed for home, having been out for a total of six and a half hours.

Tea tonight was, as usual, a pizza and blast me if the oven finally decided to cook something correctly in the correct time, after I’d set the oven to overcook by ten minutes as usual. A pizza with a scorched base is not as nice as it should be.

The football season has started in earnest with the first of the televised matches, and I had Stranraer FC against Larne from Northern Ireland in a friendly. Stranraer, who are probably one of the worst teams in the Scottish pyramid, only had a scratch side out with several trialists, and if the best that Larne (who are competing in European Club Football in three weeks time) could do is to beat them 1-0, then their European season is going to be a remarkably short one. They were not very convincing at all.

So right now I’m off to bed to try to recapture my usual routine – as in
1) A doctor’s appointment at 08:40
2) Dialysis between 14:00 and 18:00
3) An appointment with a dietician at 15:15 (and how they are going to fit that in when I’ll be coupled up to a dialysis machine I really don’t know)

And with the pain in my foot having subsided during the day, it’s started to come back this evening. I’m thoroughly sick of this.

But seeing as we have been talking about a dietician … "well, one of us has" – ed … the last time I saw her, she asked me how things were.
"Actually" I said "I haven’t eaten anything for three days"
"Good grief" she gushed. "You REALLY must tell me your secret of how you do it."

Saturday 21st June 2025 – I KNOW THAT …

… many of you spend the whole of your day gripping the edge of your seats in eager anticipation of the next instalment of my memoirs, and so I can imagine that those of you who made repeated visits here throughout the night to catch up with the news will have had a sense of dismay and disappointment on finding these pages performing a rather passable imitation of Old Mother Hubbard’s cupboard.

The fact is that I have spent almost the whole of the last twenty-four hours in bed. Alone, unfortunately, but it was probably just as well and it might even have done me some good.

There wasn’t the slightest indication of this last night when I went to bed. And so much has happened subsequently that I can’t even remember what time it was. It wasn’t early, I’m pretty sure of that, but I do remember that I was tired and that I didn’t stay awake for very long once I was under the covers.

It was 06:15 when I awoke, which is probably one of the latest times yet since my sleep patterns have been so disturbed, and the first task that I undertook was to have a listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been. I was at school last night, in the final year of my sixth form. We should each have been doing some kind of independent work on our own during our free study periods. However, I had been doing something, something to do with the football. At first, I considered it to be a waste of time and tried to forget it and do something much more academic but in the end I went back and carried on doing these statistics and organisation of this football league. Then I thought that it’s just as good an education as doing anything else. However, I was talking to someone about it because we were living in Belgium at the time. The question of Georges Simenon came up and I explained that this is all about the metro station at Simonis. Where the name came from for Simonis was a derivative of the Belgian family name “Simenon” implying that their family in the past and maybe even today as far as I know had some kind of connection with the place.

Simenon was of course the author of the “Maigret” novels but he is probably more famous for his somewhat entangled web of relationships with which his long-suffering series of wives had to cope. The metro station “Simonis” which is the one to which the local bus would take me when I lived in Jette is named after Eugène Simonis, a Belgian sculptor who lived in the immediate area in the 19th Century.

There were some kind of works going on at Southampton Docks last night so all of the containers and container traffic for all the ships for export and the tunnel across the estuary there had to go north to a small port somewhere higher up the estuary. They had a video surveillance of the port to keep their eyes open for anyone who didn’t understand the message that everyone had received, and they noticed that there was a lorry that had been queueing for a couple of hours at the entrance to the port. They sent him a text message asking him what he was doing there. When he replied that he was trying to wait for the ferry, they asked him whether he had received the letter or not, or the e-mail, and he’d have to push on and go north to wherever this was. There was a long line of HGVs and containers heading north up this road towards the mouth of this tunnel and the little port that was there.

This doesn’t seem to relate to anything that I recall and as far as I can tell, has no significance.

I was about to go to a doctor’s appointment somewhere in South London. It was a complicated place to find, and in the end I ended up climbing over a wall of the hospital into the hospital grounds, finding the correct building and having the appointment. Next, and shortly after that, one of the girls in the house where we were lodging had to go. She was rather a sad girl so I decided that I’d go with her to cheer her up and one or two others did, so we had a minibus instead of the usual taxi to take us. This took us to the hospital, down a hill and into the car park. There, once in the car park, we had to swing out across the road, blocking the traffic, nearly hitting a green Ford Cortina and then reversing backwards in through the gates over these concrete teeth things. The girl climbed out and I wished her luck. I was hoping that she wouldn’t ask me where I went and how I arrived there but she didn’t. She seemed to know her way. One of my friends who was in there with us made a remark about having been here too. While we were waiting for her to come back, we were talking about one of our friends from school. Someone was talking so I asked “what was his place like?”. Someone said that he had three telephone coins just outside the side door. I asked “what on earth was he doing that for?”. He replied “that was how he came in and went out of his jail, by that way” so we were discussing that for a couple of minutes.

This area of South London is one that we have visited on numerous occasions during our nocturnal voyages, and one that I can’t understand because the only area of South London in which I’ve ever lived in is Wandsworth when I was working in that Italian restaurant one winter, and it’s certainly not there.

Everyone else began stirring at about 07:00 so I went for a wash and a good scrub-up in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant today, and then went in for coffee.

Isabelle the Nurse was soon along, and we had another example of her hidden side when she began to talk about why I wasn’t here the previous day. She keeps this side of her character well-hidden but just occasionally, a little glimpse of it is revealed.

By now it was about 09:00 and I could feel myself beginning to slide away. By 09:30 I couldn’t keep on going any longer and decided to go to lie down for a while. And just to make my day, the stabbing pain in my foot began again, and it’s still going on.

There I lay in bed, dead to the World, until The Hound of the Baskervilles barked to let me know that we had a visitor.

My faithful cleaner had come down to do her stuff and found me in bed. Nevertheless, she enticed me out and fitted my anaesthetic patches, then telephoned the dialysis centre to tell them that I was having another one of my crises.

She waited with me until the ambulance came, gave the driver his instructions, and we went down to the centre.

Because we’d been standing outside our building waiting, we were early arriving and although I was far too early for my appointment, they let me in and I was coupled up quite quickly.

They kept a close eye on me today, checking my blood pressure every 15 minutes, and I just slept right the way through the session – except when the doctor came to see me. And to my disappointment it wasn’t Emilie the Cute Consultant who had come to soothe my fevered brow but the doctor with whom I’d had that argument a few weeks ago.

There’s no point being early at the dialysis centre if the taxi is late coming to pick me up, and with a prescription issued by the doctor we had to go to two chemists before we managed to find all of the medication that we needed, so we were no earlier arriving home than we might usually have been.

It was a desperate stagger up the stairs and a desperate fall into bed, and that was how my day ended. And why you’ve had to wait until this morning to read this rubbish.

But seeing as we have been talking about the doctor … "well, one of us has" – ed … when she came to see me, I told her "I don’t know what’s the matter with me but I looked in the mirror and I looked absolutely dreadful"
"I’ll have to examine you to find out" she said "but I can say that there’s nothing wrong with your eyesight".

Friday 20th June 2025 – WE NOW HAVE …

… a plumber to do the shower. He charges much more than I was expecting but he’s available and willing to do the work. The only thing that I have to watch is that he wants to do his project in my bathroom rather than my project in my bathroom. That’s the kind of thing that irritates me intensely, so I shall have to keep a close eye on him.

And on Wednesday next week we shall have a kitchen – well, at least, a delivery of all of the flat packs that will need to be assembled and fitted. It’s all ordered and paid for, and paying for it was an adventure in itself, more of which anon.

So, retournons à nos moutons as they say around here, last night I was totally and utterly wasted. I don’t think that I’ve ever been so tired. I staggered through the notes, the back-up and the statistics etc, feeling less and less like it as time went on.

In the bathroom I fell asleep while I was … errr … riding the porcelain horse and it took some effort to make my way beck here where I fell straight asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow. It was only 22:45 too, which makes a change.

And there I lay, fast asleep and didn’t move a muscle until all of … errr … 05:20.

As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … being awake is one thing. Leaving the bed is quite another thing completely. It was about 05:50 when I finally dragged myself out from under the bedclothes and saw the light of day.

First task was to transcribe the dictaphone notes. There was some drink that I was supposed to be drinking and its chemical composition was really precise. I’d stir it every day with a metal spoon. One day, I’d left the metal spoon in there. When I went to pull the spoon out, I noticed that half of the spoon had dissolved into the liquid and wasn’t there any more. I was wondering “what on earth is this caustic substance that I’ve been prescribed that I’ve been drinking two of these each day?”.

This sounds like the disgusting drink of which I’m supposed to take two every day. I shudder to think what it might be doing to my insides if its chemical reactions are as bad as its tastes.

Everyone seemed to wake up early this morning so I didn’t have long to spend in here. I went and had a good wash and then to drink some coffee and have a chat.

However, we were all interrupted. A taxi turned up to take me for a medical appointment.

Don’t ask me why, because I was convinced that the appointment is on Monday, but apparently not. So I quickly put on my shoes and went downstairs with the driver.

It was nice to be outside in an early summer’s morning so I wasn’t complaining, although I did wish that there had been someone there to greet me at the doctor’s when I arrived. And after waiting half an hour and having tried the doors and found them all locked, I telephoned the dialysis centre. They confirmed that it is indeed today.

When the driver turned up to take me home, one hour later, the doctor still hadn’t arrived. We went back downstairs anyway to speak to the receptionist of the medical centre. She told me that the doctor wasn’t in today. She checked my appointments on the central medical website and there it was – for Monday, as I had thought. And so we went home.

It goes without saying that I’d missed the nurse. I did ring her up but it was the answerphone that answered the ‘phone.

At least, I could now eat breakfast and drink some more coffee. I certainly needed it.

The next task was to contact the kitchen fitter to remind him that we were waiting. I gave him a gentle nudge with an e-mail and he rang me back as I hoped that he would.

We had another lengthy discussion about everything that we needed and he promised to send me a final schedule later in the afternoon.

The postie turned up in the middle of all of that and dropped off a couple of parcels. All that I seem to be awaiting now are the microwave oven and the kitchen stool. The kitchen stool will be a boon because I really am now struggling to stay standing up for any length of time.

After lunch, the cleaner turned up, closely followed by the plumber. We showed the latter round the bathroom and he seems to think that it’s straightforward, although somewhat complicated.

He doesn’t like my idea of a wall and thinks that I should have a glass panel, “so that there’s more light” – not that light has ever bothered me, and that I should run the pipework behind a false wall rather than embedded in the new wall. He also wants me to change the toilet for a new one.

However, unless there’s a very good reason (which we won’t know until we remove the bath) my plans are staying put.

It took him a while to sort out everything that he needed to know, and then we agreed a price. Or, rather, he told me his. It’s useless giving me an estimate because we don’t know what’s involved until we remove the bath but I know his daily rate. Had I had any more time left to find someone else I would maybe have thought twice, but if he can do the job by the middle of July, which he thinks is eminently feasible, then I shall have to bite the bullet. Each month longer that I stay here, I’m having to pay an extra month’s rent.

With it being such a nice day, my friend and I went for a walk outside afterwards. I went over to the clifftop and watched the sea and the boats for a while until the heat drove me back inside again.

By this time, the kitchen fitter had sent me the list. He’s going to order the stuff from the DIY shop, but I need to order the stuff from IKEA.

That took a while and I blanched at the price that came out of it all, but it has to be paid. I’m probably over-engineering the kitchen But I’m only ever going to do this once and it has to have an island, if, for the only reason, to stop me falling over.

When it came to pay it, the struggle for position of The Worst Bank In The World took a new turn as the Crédit Agricole refused to make the payment.
Consequently, I telephoned them, and they told me "it’s over your transaction limit".
My reply was "I don’t care about the transaction limit. I want to make the payment. What are you going to do about it?"
"We’ll send you a form. Sign it and send it back and we’ll raise your limit temporarily"
"So I have to wait for the post to bring it, and the post to return it?"
"I’m afraid so" she replied.
"How much money do you have of mine in your bank?"
So she told me exactly
"Good. I’ll take it all out and find another bank who wants it and who will do what I want"
"I’ll have the manager call you back"
It goes without saying that the manager has yet to ‘phone.

However, I have been in this position before and it’s not for nothing that I also have bank accounts in Belgium, the UK and Canada. Consequently, the kitchen is all paid for and the things will be here on Wednesday.

In between everything else, I was editing the radio notes that I dictated the other day. They aren’t quite half done but I’ll keep on going with half an hour here, an hour there until they are finished. But it’s difficult to work when you have visitors.

There was also some time somewhere for me to make a loaf of bread, seeing as we had run out. I don’t know where all of this energy came from – or all of this time either, but I’ve certainly been busy today.

Tea tonight was sausage, beans and chips. And very nice it was too. I certainly enjoyed it and so did my friend.

And now I’m off to bed, ready for dialysis tomorrow I don’t think.

But seeing as we have been talking about the Crédit Agricole … "well, one of us has" – ed … an old farmer went into the bank to speak to the manager
"I need to take out a loan" said the farmer. "I need a new tractor and trailer and a few other bits and pieces"
"And how long will you need it?"
"I can pay you back over fifteen years"
"We can’t do that" said the banker. "To be honest, I doubt that you’ll live that long to repay it."
"Well, if I die" said the farmer "God in his Heaven will reward you when I arrive there."
"And what if you don’t go to heaven but go to hell?"
"In that case," said the farmer "I can give you the money myself when I see you."

Thursday 19th June 2025 – WE NOW HAVE …

… a fridge-freezer downstairs to go with the oven that came on Wednesday. A large van must have done half a dozen laps around here before deciding that this building is where he wants to be.

And we need a large fridge-freezer too because the temperature is ridiculous today. My faithful cleaner is convinced that she saw 38°C indicated on a temperature reader in the town. If that’s the case, it’s the hottest that I’ve been since I was IN HUNGARY IN 2020.

It didn’t look like that last night. It was fairly cool when I came in here to write up my notes, and I was so comfortable that I wasn’t in any rush to finish. It ended up a slow, leisurely evening and after midnight I was still letting it all hang out.

Eventually I made it into bed and was asleep quite quickly. But once again, not for long because at 05:35 I was wide awake.

With the extra-early start, I dictated the radio notes that i’d written earlier in the week – and then had to dictate them a second time as the first attempt didn’t record. And the volume is still weak and feeble, just like me at the moment

By now, everyone else was awake so I went for a wash and shave in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant this afternoon. Then we assembled in the kitchen and sat around drinking coffee.

The Hound of the Baskervilles dragged its master off for walkies and I came in here to listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night. I was doing something with the radio last night, having to play around with various tracks to work out how long they were and work out whereabouts in the programme they would actually fit. I wasn’t doing it for very long because I don’t know what awoke me but I happened to wake up round about 05:35 so I’ve no idea.

One of the songs that was going round and round in my head when I awoke was Steve Earle’s THE DEVIL’S RIGHT HAND, sung by the Phil Beer Band. It was probably stuck in my brain due to the fact that I was listening to a concert by the group just before I went to bed.

After that, I made a start on editing the radio notes but everyone came back from walkies so we had more coffee.

Interestingly, the hackles on the Hound of the Baskervilles stood up and he began to have a deep, menacing growl. 30 seconds later, Isabelle the Nurse came in. He barked at her but she soon won him over and left me thinking “I wish that she’d stroke me like that!”

Once she’d left I could have breakfast, and then we plotted what we intended to do this afternoon and sorted everything out. We also watched a strange van circle around here a couple of times

My cleaner came bang on time to fit my anaesthetic patches, having noticed a strange van circling around. She’d asked then if it was for me but then denied it all, and carried on circling.

The taxi was early, and when I descended, I noticed that the van had made up its mind and had stopped. They had the tail-lift down and were manoeuvring … "PERSONoeuvring" – ed …. an enormous package – my fridge-freezer. My friend helped them move it into the apartment downstairs while I rode off into the sunset.

There were two other people to pick up on the way, but even so, we were early. However, it was to no avail, being early, because they weren’t ready for me. I had to loiter around for twenty minutes.

The coupling-up was painful as usual, and then I was so exhausted that I crashed out for fifteen minutes or so. The staff, though, left me mostly alone, except for the odd check of my blood pressure when the alarm sounded.

In the middle of it all, there were several ‘phone calls. There was another delivery but the driver was lost. Consequently I had to liaise with him, my friend and my faithful cleaner in order that the parcel arrived as it should. All of this effort for a new spice rack.

Océane uncoupled me this evening, and not for the first time, she held my hand while she compressed my arm, which I thought was sweet. When I was let go, she came with me to hand my bag over to the taxi driver, and as she turned to go back in, I expressed my surprise that she wasn’t going to come home with me.

But honestly, any one of a dozen or so of those nurses could come hime with me any time they liked.

Back here, I inspected the new purchases, and also the insides of the wardrobes that my friend had painted for me. They look so much better now, and will look even nicer when they are dry.

As a treat, I took him out to the Italian restaurant that we like. I had my usual penne al arrabbiata and he had ham in a gorgonzola sauce. I hope that it tasted better than it smelt.

So right now, thoroughly exhausted and the fan on to try to cool everything down, I’m off to bed where I intend to sleep for a week.

But seeing as we have been talking about the delivery driver … "well, one of us has" – ed … when I came home my friend told me that the Hound of the Baskervilles had been chasing the delivery driver down the street in his van.
"That’ll teach him a valuable lesson" I said. "Next time he comes here, he’ll take the keys out of the ignition and close the door"
Nevertheless, I was quite impressed. I didn’t even realise that the Hound of the Baskervilles could drive

Wednesday 18th June 2025 – THE FIRST OF THE …

… deliveries arrived today. We now have a built-in electric oven sitting on a pallet in the apartment downstairs.

We actually have the units in which to fit it too, but they are in the back of the van where they have been since June 2022 when I bought them in Munich. However, I’ve never been able to take them out. And that made me wonder – is it really that long since I lost the ability to walk?

Although I’d had several bad falls up until that date, it was on the boat COMING BACK FROM JERSEY ON 31st AUGUST 2022 where my legs finally gave way and I wouldn’t pick myself up off the floor.

Nevertheless, I went to Canada to finalise everything but that was a journey too far and not only did I not last out the journey, I caught that virus that almost killed me and led to a two-month stay in hospital as soon as I returned.

But anyway, I digress.

Last night it was late yet again by the time that I finished my notes – I do have to say that as usual, I was not in all that much of a rush.

Once in bed though, I had the longest sleep that I have had for quite some considerable time. It was 06:15 when I awoke this morning, and I had to rush to make sure that I was out of bed prior to the alarm going off.

It wasn’t long before everyone else was up and about too, so there wasn’t really any time to do very much. Instead, I sorted myself out in the bathroom and when the Hound of the Baskervilles, who had dragged his master outside for five minutes, came back, I went for a coffee.

It was a nice, slow start to the day as we sat around chatting about past times and the days of our youth etc., and we were still there when Isabelle the Nurse blew in. She fell in love with the Hound of the Baskervilles and probably spent more time talking to him than she did to me.

After she left, so did the Hound of the Baskervilles, dragging his master behind him, and I made myself some breakfast for a good start to the day.

A little later, we set out for the shops. First port of call was the Disabled Persons’ shop on the edge of town. This is a place where they sell everything that you need if you need some kind of special equipment for some medical reason or other.

My purpose was to look for grab rails for the shower and for the w.c. I’m not going to keep this weird framework thing in the w.c. here – it takes up far too much space. I would prefer a couple of handles on the wall. And the same for the shower too. I need to be able to hold on to something and pull myself in, and to hold myself upright when I’m showering.

The good news is that they have them in stock. There’s no need to order them. So I can come and fetch them any time that I like – assuming that I have some transport to take me there.

While I was there, I asked about mobility scooters to see what they had. However, they don’t stock them at all. That’s a shame. I was going to have a little try-out around the car park.

Next stop was in Centrakor for another window pole for the gap between the living room and the other half of the apartment. And as well as a window pole, I came out with a combined w.c. brush and toilet roll holder and also several large storage jars for my flour. This new apartment is starting to become a serious proposition.

Third stop was the local park. The Hound of the Baskervilles was becoming restless and wanted a run-around so I directed my friend to the Parc du Val ès Fleurs, the site of the old Christian Dior factory now transformed into a lovely park. They went off for a ramble while I sat and enjoyed the sunshine.

This was when the delivery lady rang me so we had to pile back into the car and drive home to unlock everything so that she could bring the oven in. Yes, things are looking up.

When she’d gone, I did something that I hadn’t done for ages, and that was to sit on the wall at the top of the cliff by our building. The sun was beautiful and I really made the most of it for half an hour or so, watching the ships coming over from Jersey and the trawlers out in the bay. It was wonderful.

On the way back I met my cleaner and also the lady whose briefcase we recovered yesterday. We had quite a nice chat for a while and then I staggered back up the stairs.

When my cleaner came up to do her stuff, the others went out for a walk and I went to have a shower. So there’s a nice, clean me this afternoon ready to charm Emilie the Cute Consultant tomorrow.

Back in here, I rather regrettably crashed out for half an hour – the first time for ages. But then again, I’d done a lot today – much more than I usually would.

Once I’d recovered, I had a listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night. After only a couple of seconds after having gone to bed I must have fallen asleep because I saw Nerina come into the room. I was with someone else when she walked in. Of course, she was a lot older than she had been. She walked in and went out of a door in the wall. Another woman came in after her and stuck her head in the door and shouted “Neessa”. At that moment the Hound of the Baskervilles made a noise and I awoke. I would have loved to have known what was going to happen after all of that but the Hound of the Baskervilles broke the spell.

As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … much as I don’t appreciate my family coming along to disrupt my nighttime voyages, I don’t mind Nerina being there. After all, I did invite her to share my life so she has every right to be there, and in any case, you can’t choose to live with someone for nine years and not like them.

There was time to make a start on the next radio programme so I went through the notes, found that I’d written down incorrectly one of the dates and so had to start again from the beginning. In the pipeline already, there’s one set of notes to dictate but I want to see how far I can push on.

When everyone came back I set about making a curry – mainly because I fancied some more of that vegan soya mince that I’d used the other day. So the big mystery was “why, if the curry that I made tasted so nice, did I actually forget to put in the soya mince?”. I really am losing my mind these days.

So right now, it’s bedtime ready for dialysis tomorrow, I don’t think. Another seven hours of my life wasted and three and a half hours of painful purgatory.

But seeing as we have been talking about my shower … "well, one of us has" – ed … while I was drying myself afterwards, my cleaner and I were talking about school and punishment – the difference between our day and today.
It reminded me of one day when I was talking to one of my form teachers. I asked him "would you, as a matter of principle, ever punish a pupil for something that they hadn’t done?"
"Not at all" he said. "I would never ever do that."
"That’s good news" I replied
"Why did you ask?" he asked
"Because, I’m afraid, I haven’t done my homework this week."

Tuesday 17th June 2025 – I HAVE NO …

… idea what’s going on here, but I’ve had yet another morning when I awoke at about 05:10.

How many times is that now that I’ve suddenly woken up at that time? There must definitely be something going on somewhere because it’s far too much of a coincidence.

It wasn’t as if I’d had an early night last night either. It was well after 23:30 when I finished my work for the day, and after a brief trip to the bathroom (and an even briefer return to pick up my night attire) it was probably closer to midnight when I finally made it into bed.

For the first time for ages, I had a very restless night and I don’t think that I slept at all. I was constantly tossing and turning and trying to make myself comfortable, without very much success, despite how tired I was feeling after my exertions at the dialysis centre.

At some point though, I must have gone off to sleep because I certainly did awaken at 05:10 this morning, the fourth time this year (in fact, the fourth time this month) as if someone somewhere in the vicinity is doing something regularly at that time.

However, as I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … being awake is not the same thing as being up and about. I had to wait a good twenty minutes before I finally plucked up the courage to leave the bed.

With everyone else being fast asleep, I had a few things to do and then I began work on the notes for the radio programme that I’d started the other day.

Not for long, though, because everyone else slowly began to rise, and so after I’d sorted myself out in the bathroom I went to join everyone and drink some coffee.

The Hound of the Baskervilles decided to take his master out for a walk so after they went I began to contemplate what I might be doing but Isabelle the Nurse turned up to deal with my legs. She was her usual bubbly self but she didn’t hang around long. Probably there were plenty of blood samples and injections to do after a week of her oppo.

The others turned up here a little later and we had breakfast while we made plans. While we were doing that, I was tidying up and came across the remote control for the car park for which I’d been looking for quite a while.

Making the most of the glorious weather, we went outside where we noticed a briefcase on the car park. Someone had put it down to open their car door, and then driven off and left it behind.

My friend picked it up and I was able to identify the owner so I sent her a message to say that we had it. Then we climbed into our car and cleared off.

First stop was Noz, but the coffee that we bought a while ago is all gone. However, they had some breaded vegan burgers there so we bought a pack to try out.

As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … it’s important for me to vary my diet as much as possible and Noz is a good place to do that, so I need to go as often as I can. All I need now is a bigger freezer.

Next stop was Brico Cash but they didn’t have a curtain pole, so they said. They were not very helpful at all, and it was close to lunchtime closing so we didn’t have too much time to go for a wander around in there. However, they did have some white gloss paint and a paint brush, for my friend is going to paint the inside of the wardrobes on Thursday afternoon while I’m at dialysis. It’s not quite “singing for your supper” but it’s near enough.

On the way back, I had a ‘phone call. Someone had been to talk to me about the apartment several weeks ago and he had promised to ring me back on 3rd June to arrange an appointment to come to look, seeing as I’d stressed the urgency of the affair. I’d had no response so I’d “gone elsewhere” to find people to do the work. Anyway, he rang me back today, two weeks late, and was most put out when I told him that the work had been passed elsewhere

It’s not as if I hadn’t stressed the urgency when we had spoken earlier. I can’t afford to wait around for people.

Back here, I carried on with the tidying up while my friend had lunch, and then my neighbour came for her briefcase so I handed it over. She was very grateful, so I told her that had there have been anything of value in there that I could have sold, she would never have seen it again.

The two of us had a general chatter about all kinds of things before the Hound of the Baskervilles dragged him off for a walk. I came back in here to carry on with the radio programme, and by the time that I was ready to knock off, I’d finished all of the notes ready for dictating, which I’ll do on the next very early morning, whenever that might be.

For tea tonight, I made an aubergine and kidney bean whatsit in tomato sauce, and I tried some of that new soya mince that I’d bought a few weeks ago. It was extremely delicious, that’s for sure.

So right now, I’m going to bed, later than I would like but that can’t be helped. Here’s hoping for a better night’s sleep tonight. I’ve felt my head beginning to sag once or twice today although I’ve kept going. One of these days it’ll sag too far.

But seeing as we have been talking about Noz … "well, one of us has" – ed … I told my friend that it’s not the same in Noz these days when I used to go in there with €10:00 and come out with tins of stuff, several packets of coffee, a pile of crockery and several D-i-Y tools
"Why not?" he asked
"These days, they have installed all of these security cameras."

Monday 16th June 2025 – I AM WASTED …

… tonight. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt as tired as this. I certainly won’t need much rocking tonight, that’s for sure.

Much of it is probably due to dialysis – it always takes it out of me, as regular readers of this rubbish will recall, but some of it is probably also due to last night.

By the time that I’d finished doing what I needed to do, it was quite late. Once more, I was side-tracked considerably during the course of the evening writing my notes, and by the time that I went to bed, it was once more long after midnight.

Once in bed, I fell asleep quite quickly, but not for long. The Hound of the Baskervilles in the next room was dreaming and he spent about five minutes having a very tired and feeble barking session. Perhaps I should have lent him my dictaphone so we could have found out what it was that was going on.

After he’d finished, I did manage to go back to sleep but once more, not for long. At 05:10 I was awake again and at about 05:40 I hauled myself out of my stinking pit.

There was something that I needed to do as soon as I awoke but back in here afterwards, the first thing that I did was to listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night. I was doing a coach trip to Canterbury. Somewhere round about Canterbury I was giving a talk to the passengers but I hadn’t managed to have the coach totally clear of the road. It was in a kind of dog-leg up against the kerb. A road-train of coaches, a machine pulling along a couple of carriages, coming past caught my mirror up, tangled it in its mirror arm and with the mirror arms tangled together, mine snapped and the other coach disappeared, taking it away … fell asleep here … although I could see the look of regret on the driver’s face. Later on, after my party was installed in their rooms, I went down the corridor to the room where this other coach party was lodged. I opened the door and was just about to step in when I realised that I should have knocked so I knocked and stepped in. There were people sleeping everywhere on the floor of this room. One or two people moaned and said something. At the very head of the table, at the top in the dark were all of the important people, and one of them must have been the coach driver. I asked if any of them had seen what had happened to the mirror arm that had become entangled up in the arm of their coach. A voice replied that as far as he knew, according to what had happened in the past, the mirror is still on the bus wrapped up in the other one’s mirror arm. It’s still there on the bus and tomorrow they will go down to pick it up and bring it back to me. I was hoping that at least it was still going to be there because anything could happen in a couple of hours overnight in a strange country.

At one time I was spending quite a few nights driving coaches in my sleep, but the incident of losing a mirror and arm on the road actually did happen to me once when I was taking a coach party to Llangollen. It’s also true that anything can happen in a couple of hours overnight in a strange country, as I explained to a group of Austrian policemen once when I had to take the European Union’s lorry to Vienna once in 1998 and they wanted me to park it at the side of the road a mere cock-stride from the Slovakian border.

There was also something about a pair of shoes last night. Someone had bought a pair of shoes from me when I was running a shop. They were one of the last pairs that I had and they wanted a guarantee that I’d reimburse them if they were to bring them back unused, which I gave them. But they needed a lot of convincing that it would work. Sure enough, a few days later, she was back and spoke to me in pidgin French like “theeeese ….. shooooes ….. noooooo ….. gooooood”, pointing that she wanted to bring them back. I don’t know what was the matter with her but I gave her back her money. Then she saw another pair of shoes and asked if she could take those instead. Those shoes were €153 so she could take them if she paid me €153. It ended up with quite a lot of discussion and argument but eventually she gave in and took the new shoes at the appropriate price.

This also reminds me of an incident that took place years ago in real life, but the World isn’t ready yet to hear it.

When everyone was awake in the other room I went to sort myself out and then join them for a coffee and a chat, interrupted by the arrival of the nurse who once more failed to take into account the Hound of the Baskervilles. Consequently, he was in and out in a matter of a couple of seconds and we could make breakfast.

After breakfast, the Hound of the Baskervilles took his master for a walk and I listened to the radio programme that I’ll be sending off this week for broadcasting at the weekend.

When everyone came back we sat around making plans until the cleaner came to fit my anaesthetic patches. She hung around, chatting for a while, and after she left we went downstairs to wait outside in the glorious sunshine for the taxi. And wait. And wait.

13:45 was when it turned up, 45 minutes late, with another passenger in it. It was a quick drive down there, but even so, it wasn’t until 14:45 that I was coupled up, with the usual second pin being much more painful than the first.

Once more, I was left pretty much alone except for when they thought that I’d gone into another diabetic coma and they all came a-rushing over. It seems that I’m not even allowed to have a little … errr … relax these days.

However, Emilie the Cute Consultant came over to chat with me for a while which was nice, and Anaïs sitting on the foot of my bed chatting for five minutes was nice too. I think that they did it just to make sure that I stayed awake.

While I was there, I replied to the edition of WAR AND PEACE that my kitchen fitter sent me, and I hope that we can sort it all out now so that I can push on with the ordering while I have someone here to accept delivery. I’m in a rush to be started.

When i’d been uncoupled, I had to wait for the taxi to arrive. There was another passenger in there too who required dropping off at Kairon so we weren’t back here until after 19:30. I’m certainly seeing parts of Normandy that I never knew existed, thanks to these new Social Security rules.

There was quite a reception committee waiting for me, and they all helped me upstairs. And I needed it too.

Tea tonight was broccoli stalk soup with fresh bread – another delicious meal. We really are eating well here.

Right now though, I’m off to bed. I can’t keep my eyes open. I’m really exhausted tonight.

But seeing as we have been talking about buying shoes … "well, one of us has" – ed … a woman from Crewe went into the shoe shop one Saturday to buy a pair of shoes, and chose a nice pair.
As he was cashing her up, the assistant said "you’ll find these a little tight at first. You might have a pain in your foot for the next couple of days."
"Well, that’s no problem" said the woman from Crewe. "I won’t start wearing them until Wednesday."

Sunday 15th June 2025 – WHAT A LOVELY …

… day that I have had today. It’s been a very, very long time since I’ve had such an interesting day.

Well, actually, that’s not really fair. A friend of mine was over here for a couple of days several weeks ago and we had a very good and interesting time. And today (and these last few days in fact) were just as interesting and enjoyable.

As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … I don’t have many friends, but those whom I have are the best in the World. No-one has better friends than I do.

So last night, I had another gentle meander around in cyberspace, sometimes looking for things on the internet and sometimes even writing my notes. But in any case it was long after midnight when I finally crawled into bed.

For a change, I was asleep quite quickly, and there I stayed until all of … errr … 05:10 when something awoke me. I’ve no idea what it was but anyway, I was awake and that was that.

“Being awake” is of course not the same thing as “leaving the bed”. That is something quite different. So there I was lying there vegetating when I thought “hang on – I have things to do” and left the bed. This was round about 05:30.

Everyone else was asleep so I sat down and began to transcribe the notes on the dictaphone. They were laying out some young girl last night, a 3D model of one. She had died. They were dressing her in whatever funeral clothes that they could find and making her ready for burial.

This was quite a morbid theme for the night when I’m supposed to be relaxing. And even now, I can still see the scene. Interestingly, they were dressing her in white. I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that when I was going through the wardrobe in here the other day sorting out things that I’ll be taking downstairs, I came across Roxanne’s communion dress and a bridesmaid’s dress that she wore that her mother left behind when our relationship ended. I’ve never been able to bring myself to throw them out.

There are lots of things – clothes, toys, a bike and so on of Roxanne’s that I still have that were left behind down on the farm that I came across when I scrapped the caravan in which we lived when we went down there at first on our holidays. It’s rather too late now to worry about what’s going to become of it, but whoever draws the short straw and has to sort out my effects is going to have something of a time trying to untangle everything.

Once I’d finished the dictaphone notes (which, let’s face it, didn’t take long) I sorted out the rest of the music for my biodiversity radio programme. That’s all chosen, edited, remixed and segued now, and I even began to write the notes. However, round about 07:15 I detected signs of people stirring so I went to join them.

After I’d had a good wash and scrub up we all sat around talking and drinking coffee until the nurse arrived. And he was once more taken unawares by the Hound of the Baskervilles. Consequently, he didn’t stay long and we could push on and make breakfast.

While breakfast was a-making, I set my friend a task TO PROVE THAT HE IS WORTHY. I mentioned the other day that I needed someone to place an advert on a certain Social Media Group to try to find a plumber. I was going to ask my friend Liz to do it but I can’t keep on asking her to do things for me or she’ll soon become fed up, so I set my friend onto the task.

While I was eating my breakfast, I sent off my on-line order for the oven, microwave, fridge-freezer and a few other things. They will start to arrive in midweek and carry on into the beginning of next week. So now it looks as if we are off, up and running.

To cement our progress, we sorted out some things and took them downstairs to put in the new place. That’s right! WE ARE BEGINNING TO MOVE IN! Slowly, it has to be said, but nevertheless …

Once we’d sorted out what needed to go downstairs, we decided to make the most of the beautiful weather and go out.

The first place that we visited was the radio’s studio at St Nicolas so that my friend knew where it was for the future, and then we had a nice, steady drive in the sunshine all the way down to the Pointe de Carolles where he took the Hound of the Baskervilles for a run on the beach and I went for a coffee.

That wasn’t as easy as it sounded either because it was lunchtime and the place was full. They offered me a kind-of casual table outside but the seats were no good for me. Eventually, they found a spare seat with armrests where I could sit down and, more importantly, lift myself out again.

When they had finished their walkies they came to join me and we were there for about an hour in the sun having coffee. And the cute little serving wench who waited on us can hand it to me on a platter any time she likes.

Interestingly, there were several young children wandering around, dressed in white. I asked the aforementioned serving wench about it, and she replied that the local kids had had their communion today. After that dream about the girl being laid out for her funeral, dressed in white, and Roxanne’s communion dress, that was a real coincidence.

We climbed back into the car and drove on down the coast and into Avranches to fuel up, and then carried on along the coast in the beautiful weather, admiring the view until we reached St Malo.

It’s years since I’ve been to St Malo and I can’t remember it at all compared to how it is now. But I sat on the side of the harbour watching the shipping while the Hound of the Baskervilles dragged its master off for another walk. And why I didn’t take a ‘photo of the first “Ship of the Day” since I was in MONTREAL THE 30th SEPTEMBER 2022 I really don’t know.

Back in the car, we had a nice, steady drive home, coming through the town centre to see the chaos that they are creating with these “improvements”. And all that I can say is that it’s better than Crewe Town Centre right now, that’s for sure.

Another nice surprise is that someone had replied to the advert that my friend had placed this morning. So now I have a plumber/handyman coming to see me on Friday afternoon to have a look at the job that needs doing downstairs in the bathroom. That might even be taking off at this rate.

For tea tonight I made another pizza, a large square one this time and that went down really well. There’s even some left over so my friend has bagged that for lunch tomorrow while I’m at dialysis.

So now, I’m off to bed, exhausted following a really wonderful day. I don’t have enough of those so I’ll make the most of whatever I can have.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about watching the boats in St Malo harbour … "well, one of us has" – ed … I spent a lot of time looking at this strange type of elasticated sailing boat that was there, flying the flag of one of these Middle-Eastern Emirate countries.
It was so unusual that I asked a local yokel about it.
He was a very vocal local yokel too, and told me "it’s a very famous boat, that one. Didn’t you know?"
"No, I’m afraid that I didn’t." I said
"It’s so famous" he said "that a very famous poem has been written about it"
"Which one was that?" I asked, bitterly regretting ten seconds later having done so
"It’s ‘The Rubber Yacht of Omar Khayyam’"

Saturday 14th June 2025 – I DON’T KNOW …

… what awoke me exactly at 05:36 but at that particular moment I was away with the fairies (although not in any manner that would interest the editor of Aunt Judy’s magazine) and the phrase wneud yn Ne Cymru – “made in South Wales” was going through my head.

Unfortunately, that’s all that I remember about whatever it was that was going on and there was nothing else on the dictaphone, so it looks as if that particular voyage had only just commenced. That was rather a shame. Mind you, as I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … when you don’t go to bed until 00:30 and awaken at 0536, you don’t have much time to go far.

It wasn’t really 00:30 either because I didn’t fall asleep straight away either. Once in bed, it was quite a while before I finally dozed off.

If anything had gone on during the night, I knew nothing about it. I can’t have moved a muscle. However something definitely awoke me at 05:36.

When I awoke, I was drenched in perspiration again. Don’t tell me that we’re back with all of this again because it’s the last thing that I need right now. I have enough problems going on here and there and around and about without having to worry about anything else.

With everyone else in here being fast asleep, I found a few things to do in here but once I’d heard everyone beginning to stir at about 06:30 or so I went into the kitchen to start the day.

There’s nothing like a nice, strong coffee to start off the day and I began to feel much more like it a few minutes later.

When the nurse arrived, he was very careful to ring the bell downstairs before coming up, and he entered the apartment gingerly. However, the Hound of the Baskervilles had taken his master out for a walk so he needn’t have bothered.

After he left and the others had come back, we had breakfast and had a good chat about quite a few things that we need to organise, mixed in with tales about the past. Later on, the two of them went out again, I came here and did some work on one of my radio programmes. Work still has to continue, of course.

My cleaner came round to interrupt me as usual and fitted my anaesthetic patches but she didn’t stay long. And later, my friend, the Hound of the Baskervilles and I went outside in the glorious sunshine to wait for the taxi.

It was a good job that we did too because he was early. And with me being outside already we were away quite quickly. Consequently we arrived at Avranches well before the time that I’m now supposed to arrive. However, the bad news was that I fell asleep twice in the car.

For a change, I was seen quickly too and it didn’t take long to plug me in. However, despite the anaesthetic, the ice pack and the cold spray, one of the connections hurt like Hades and I didn’t enjoy it at all.

During the three and a half hours that I was there, I searched through the site of a major on-line retailer and chose the microwave and the fridge-freezer to go with the oven that I chose a week or so ago. I’ve probably chosen all the wrong things but what made me decide to choose them today was the fact that with my friend being here, I don’t have to worry about whether or not I’m here to accept the delivery when they arrive.

While I was at it, I also chose a few more things that I would like to have, and then went (virtually, of course) to IKEA to order some stuff from there for the bathroom.

Something else that I did was to doze off, which was a shame. I can’t keep going like I used to.

For once, they were quite quick to unplug me, and as the taxi was waiting, I was away quite quickly and home quite early where I had a reception committee of my cleaner and my friend. I’m not quite sure what I’d done to be so popular.

Tea was the next thing on the agenda. I had planned to make an aubergine and kidney bean whatsit for tonight but my friend suggested that we go back to the Italian restaurant, La Fabbrica, where we were the other day.

We nearly didn’t though, because when we arrived, it was fully-booked. However, we promised to be quick so she let us sit at a table that had been reserved for later, which was very nice of her.

My Penne al Arrabbiata was delicious yet again. Although it’s the only vegan meal on the menu, I’m not complaining. It’s quite spicy, which is how I like it to be, and i’ll go back there for another helping at any time that you invite me.

The atmosphere is not particularly appetising though. It’s right across the road from the fish processing plant. And for that reason, I’m surprised that there are only two fish dishes on the menu – a salmon dish and a tuna dish.

Back here, we loitered around for a while and then I decided that I was going to bed. Up and down the stairs twice in one day is more than enough for me. So here’s hoping that I have a good night’s sleep. I’m certainly ready for it.

But seeing as we have been talking about that restaurant and the dialysis centre … "well, one of us has" – ed … there’s a story that I was told that concerns both of those places.
Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that one of the doctors at the dialysis centre was sacked from the Family Planning Unit, and the reason concerned the restaurant.
One day, a woman came into the Family Planning Unit to see the doctor.
"It’s my husband" she said. "He can’t … errr … perform any more. He says that he’s too tired."
"Ahh, yes" said the doctor. "I know that problem" and he gave her a sachet of powder.
"Sprinkle some of that on his next meal, and you just watch the difference"
A few days later the doctor was walking down towards the fish processing plant when he saw the woman coming towards him
"How was it?" he asked
"It was marvellous" she replied. "I sprinkled it onto his meal and after just one mouthful, the old sparkle returned to his eyes. He stood up, ripped the tablecloth off, threw me onto the table, tore off my clothes and ravished me on the spot."
"Yes" replied the doctor. "I thought that it might work. But did you notice any side-effects?"
"I’m not sure that you’d call it a side-effect" she said "but they won’t ever let us back into La Fabbrica again."

Friday 13th June 2025 – IT HAS BEEN …

… a quiet day today.

It was quiet last night too. I didn’t stay up for all that long after finishing my notes. However, it was rather later than I anticipated when I went to bed. Everyone in the apartment had been asleep for quite a while by the time that I finally crawled in underneath the covers.

Once more, it took me a while to go off to sleep but once I was asleep, there I stayed until about 05:30. Not that I was up and about straight away though. It must have taken me another twenty minutes before I finally plucked up the courage to leave the bed.

With everyone still fast asleep, I began the morning by listening to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night. I’d been to hospital last night and I’d had some brain surgery carried out on my head. It had involved penetrating the skull. As a result I was lying there in bed with the extension cable wrapped around me and the plug on the end of that was resting on my stomach. At first I thought that it might have been the Hound of the Barnevilles … "he means ‘Baskervilles’" – ed … but that was still asleep on the floor by the fire so it can’t have been him so I wondered what animal of that nature was trying to crawl all over me while I was asleep.

The Hound of the Baskervilles was actually sleeping on the floor when I stuck my head in earlier. But dreaming about hospital again is pretty depressing. I want to forget all about that and relax during the night instead of ending up worrying just as much as I do during the day about my hospital visits.

Later on, I was with two people. We’d been on a very long trek from across some kind of territory. There was also a boy involved in this somehow. The woman was the mother of this child. I was with these two men, hiking away, walking through this rough land. We were having to climb up and down all kinds of obstacles and it seemed as if we were twenty years walking through this way. Eventually we came to a spot where we had to climb down a really, really long descent like off a clifftop. It was all muddy. We finally made it down to the bottom where we could say goodbye. Meanwhile, this woman and her son were somewhere about and I ended up doing something with this child, having a collection of possessions or something. This woman, I had this big silver or chrome ball, really heavy. I went up to her and said “I know what it is tomorrow” because I’d been told that it was her birthday. I was about to present her with this ball when she said “yes, it’s Grand Prix day tomorrow” which surprised me. But there was something in this dream about a tube of ointment but I can’t remember where it fitted in.

This dream reminded me very much of East Africa, not that I have ever been there of course, but how I would imagine it to be. However, it seems to have its basis in our Welsh lesson on Tuesday, when we were reading a book about a woman and her son who were the sole survivors of a cataclysm and they had to learn self-sufficiency and autonomy quite rapidly if they were going to survive.

Everyone seemed to come alive round about 07:00 so I went back into the living room to see how they were doing. My friend rustled up some coffee, I rustled up the orange juice and we had a very slow start to the day while I sorted out my medication.

The nurse burst into the apartment at about 08:30 and the reaction of the Hound of the Baskervilles will make sure that he won’t ever enter like that anywhere else ever again.

It had evidently put the wind up him because he was in and out of here in what must be a new World Record time, and we could set about making breakfast.

Later on, we came in here and spent quite a while talking about recording issues, fixing a few faults on a few recording machines and working out how to use an old digital mixing desk that has been lying around here for several years.

That was something that I’m glad we did, because we managed to make it work reasonably well, although the audio output is very low, even when the gain is set to maximum. One thing that we did find out though is that one of my microphones doesn’t work. No wonder that I’ve been having recording issues with it on one of the other machines that I have. All that it must have been picking up must have come from the external microphone.

While the Hound of the Baskervilles went for a walk, I sorted out my LeClerc order and sent it off ready for delivery later this afternoon.

We’re low on bread again so this afternoon I prepared some dough for a loaf and also for four bread rolls. We’re planning to have two tonight with burgers that I have ordered, and the other two will be for the broccoli stalk soup that I’m going to make on Sunday afternoon, seeing as I’ve ordered a broccoli head this afternoon.

When the order showed up I had one kilo of carrots and a broccoli head to wash, dice and blanch ready for freezing and that took longer than I would have liked. And while it was all preparing itself, I put away some of the things.

Not all of them, because I was feeling the strain this afternoon. I could only work in ten-minute spells and then I had to go to sit down for half an hour to recover. I was really feeling the strain and frustration this afternoon.

Tea was one of these nice burgers in a bread roll with baked potato and a vegan salad, followed by strawberries and cream (yes, we had a Leclerc order this afternoon). And it really was delicious too.

Tomorrow for tea we have aubergines so I might make an aubergine and kidney bean whatsit with pasta, followed by yet more strawberries.

However, that’s tomorrow. Tonight, I’m off to bed ready for dialysis tomorrow, I don’t think

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about brain surgery and the like … "well, one of us has" – ed … It reminds me of the time after one of my car accidents when I was sent to the hospital for a brain scan.
At first, I was rather worried but half an hour later the doctor did his best to reassure me.
"Don’t worry" he replied. "We’ve examined the x-rays and we’ve found nothing."

Thursday 12th June 2025 – I AM NOT …

… alone.

And not only that, I have done something that I haven’t done for quite a while, and that is, to go to a restaurant for a meal.

Currently lying asleep on the sofa in the living room is my friend from Munich, and at his feet is lying the Hound of the Baskervilles. So we have something of a full house tonight.

Last night though, there was only me in the apartment, writing up my notes, wasting time, and generally having something of a late night yet again as I failed miserably to motivate myself once more.

Once in bed though, at whatever late hour it was, there I lay, fast asleep, until all of … errr … 04:40 when I had another dramatic awakening.

Being unable to go back to sleep, I was lying there vegetating when it occurred to me round about 05:20 that here is the moment for which I have been waiting. I arose from the Dead and dictated the radio notes that I’d written the previous day.

Next port of call was the bathroom, and then the kitchen for the medication.

Back in here, there were now two lots of radio notes on hand so seeing that once more there was nothing on the dictaphone, I sat down and began work.

By the time that the nurse arrived, I’d finished editing one of them – the notes for the extra track to join the two halves of one of the programmes I’d prepared a week or so ago. I had to break off at that point to sort him out.

He had the usual banal comments and questions, but didn’t hang around long. I could then crack on, make breakfast and read MY NEW BOOK.

We’re discussing the wharves on the River Thames and its tributaries today. One thing that I hadn’t realised was that most of the wharves and landing stages were private and a toll was charged to anyone who used them. Quite a few had been authorised by the City but quite a few more were unauthorised.

There were however a few free wharves where one could come ashore without payment, and I imagine that they were quite popular.

Breakfast was however interrupted. The electrician came, so I had to take him downstairs and show him what needed doing. Once he was settled in, I left him to it. So work has started downstairs at last.

Back in my little room, I finished off assembling the programme that I’d started earlier, and then attacked the one for which I’d dictated the notes this morning.

There was the usual interruption from my cleaner who came by to fit my anaesthetic patches, and with the taxi not now coming until 13:00 I came back in here to carry on working.

By the time that it arrived, I’d just about finished it, which is another good day’s work done already.

We had a pleasant drive down to Avranches, the driver, another passenger and me. And when we arrived there, most of the people had been already plugged up so in theory there wasn’t a very long wait.

However, our plans came to nought as one of the elderly patients, an old man with dementia who was there for the first time, was proving to be difficult and all the nurses were crowded around him.

Once I was connected though, I could review my shopping list for LeClerc, revise my Welsh and … errr … have a little relax.

Once more, at unplugging time; the elderly patient was having another crisis and so it was quite late when I was unplugged and compressed.

However the principle of these 13:00 taxis and 14:00 starts is something of a benefit, if it all works out as it’s supposed to.

There were two other passengers in the car with me on the way home so we went around the houses, but waiting for me at the apartment was not only my faithful cleaner, but the Hound of the Baskervilles and his owner.

We stuck our heads into the apartment while we were passing and noticed that the electrician seems to have done a good job. He’ll finish off when the kitchen fitter is there.

Later on, we went out for a meal at this new Italian restaurant where I had an excellent penne arrabbiata – the first time for a positive age and I enjoyed every mouthful of it.

Back here, we had a good chin-wag until tiredness overwhelmed us and it was time for bed.

But what a nice pleasant day it has been today, and for many reasons too. It’s been quite exciting.

It’s always very nice to meet old friends, and “old” is the word, for we have been friends for 60 years this coming September when we sat next to each other on our first day at Grammar School.
He was always a very devoted and loyal friend. One day he came up to me in school and said "the other boys in the class are saying that you aren’t fit to live with pigs"
"And what did you say?" I asked.
"Ohh, I stood up for you" he said. "I said that you are!"

Wednesday 11th June 2025 – I DON’T THINK …

… that I’m going to have my shower installed for when I move downstairs, unfortunately.

Having had a good chat this afternoon with the guy who is going to fit the kitchen, he’s not convinced that he’d be able to do the work that I want. He’s happy to do some of it but not the rest. He really thinks that we ought to have a professional plumber on hand, and he’s probably quite right too.

But you try to find one. I shall ask around and see who knows one, and maybe trouble my friend Liz to put another advert on that Social Media page. Maybe there might even be someone on one of these tradesmen’s sites who has a week or two free. There is bound to be a solution somewhere.

Anyway, last night I had another fairly late night, not being able to motivate myself sufficiently to have everything done in any kind of urgency. It was about 23:45 when I finally crawled into bed.

Once in bed though, I remember nothing at all. I must have gone to sleep quite quickly, and there I lay until about 06:15 without moving at all.

When the alarm went off at 06:30 I was in the bathroom sorting myself out. Then after the medication, I came back in here to listen to the dictaphone to find out where I had been during the night.

There was a police investigation taking place last night and I was in charge of the enquiry. It had taken place in a large house where a lot of people were staying. We’d had a stroke of luck in that someone had identified a coat, a blue and white checked coat. This was not general knowledge so I kept that to myself but I arranged for the rooms of all of the people to be searched. We found someone with a blue and white checked coat, so we decided to keep an eye on her. There were one or two other things too that led us to believe that she was the one who committed the offence but we wanted to make sure that we had all the evidence that we needed. That involved taking her coat and examining it so we had to wait until she was ready to go into the bath. We arranged to send some young girl around who was to tell everyone that she was looking for a blue and white checked coat so that it would divert suspicion if the girl was found carrying one, or if someone else was found carrying one. Then this woman decided that she was going to have a shower. I waited until she went and then I collected my shower things ready to go into another bathroom but she stepped out of her bathroom and saw me. She asked me if I was going for a shower too. I told her not to worry because the two showers were on different circuits. In the meantime, the young girl was coming upstairs and was asking if anyone had seen a blue and white checked coat. I suddenly realised that I had a blue and white checked coat and this could be complicated if the two became mixed up so I had to think of how to say something, but the girl was wandering around the corridors asking everyone whom she met and I thought that she was going to be up to me fairly soon so I need to be able to have some kind of story ready for her

This is a road down which I’ve travelled during the night on many occasions – the one where I’m full of doubt and indecision, just as I am with the kitchen and the rest of the apartment right now. I’ll be really happy when it’s all done (if it ever is) and I don’t have to do anything else. However, being involved in a murder case during the night without Holmes and Watson being present is quite unusual. They’ve joined me on a few trips in the past.

Good Queen Bess (that is, Queen Elizabeth I) was having to choose a new personal confidante and admirer because her previous one, with whom she got along really well, was suspected of being in the pay of the French and all the British secrets were being passed over to the French before the English could do anything about it. Anyway so it was all possible to talk about having a new set of official suites during the interval between the terms but she is believed not to be very happy about that.

Whatever this is all about I have no idea. Apart from a brief reference in passing to a couple of the books that I’ve been reading, it doesn’t appear to have any relevance at all.

The nurse was even earlier this morning. Not that it’s a surprise because he probably doesn’t have much to do. He was soon gone too and I could make breakfast and carry on reading MY NEW BOOK.

Once more, we’re stumbling on little-known facts. John Stow has been describing the rivers, stream and wells that ran through the City of London in the past. Although the existence of one or two of them is disputed today, he’s quoting charters and deeds that refer to many of them, and even gives an inventory of people who contributed money towards their upkeep, and how much they donated.

We then moved on to bridges, and there was a lot of information about those too, doing back to the time of the Saxons.

Interestingly, he talks about a siege of London in 1471 by an army led by someone called, rather eloquently, “Thomas the Bastard Fawconbridge”. With a name like that, he sounded as if he was well-worth tracking down. It turns out that it’s a reference to Thomas Neville, son of William Neville, Lord Fauconberg and a leading supporter of the House of Lancaster during the Wars of the Roses.

For much of the day, I’ve been dealing with a radio programme. There’s the anniversary of a concert coming up soon and I found the recording that we made of it so I’ve been editing it, remixing it, cutting out bits that we don’t need and merging the joins together so that it all runs smoothly and seamlessly.

Then I needed an introduction so I sat down and wrote a couple of thousand words that will make a nice lead-in to the music. And that’s all ready for recording on Saturday night, or maybe even earlier if I have any more really early starts.

My cleaner turned up this afternoon to do her stuff. We went downstairs to the new apartment and took a few more measurements that the kitchen fitter needed. Back up in here, I had a nice shower to try to make myself pretty for dialysis tomorrow, in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant, even though she doesn’t love me any more.

The kitchen fitter rang me afterwards. We had a lengthy, Rosemaryesque chat and he now seems to have all of the information that he needs. He’s going to stick his head into IKEA to find out the answers to a few questions that I can’t answer, and then we’ll move on and order the product and have it delivered ready for installation

There was time to make a start on another radio programme. Another day that is coming up in due course is “International Biodiversity Day” and with musicians such as Robert Plant, Herbie Flowers and Kate Bush, and groups such as Porcupine Tree, there is the basis of a programme already suggesting itself

If I were to play Herbie Flowers’ song DANCE OF THE LITTLE FAIRIES, I wonder if the editor of Aunt Judy’s Magazine would make any comment.

Tea tonight was a taco roll with rice and veg followed by ginger cake and soya dessert, and very nice too, s usual.

So now, having wasted enough time this evening, I’m off to bed. I have a visitor tomorrow morning, dialysis in the afternoon and another visitor tomorrow evening. I seem to be in great demand right now, which is nice, if it weren’t for the dialysis of course. But at least I’ll smell nice for Emilie the Cute Consultant.

But seeing as we’ve been talking about Thomas the Bastard Fawconbridge, it reminds me of when Nerina went for a job interview.
They asked about her family life, and she replied, mentioning "my husband" quite a few times
"But what’s his name?" asked the interviewer. "What do you call him?"
"I call him quite a few names" replied Nerina "but if I told you what they were, I wouldn’t get the job."

Tuesday 10th June 2025 – IT SEEMS THAT …

… our Welsh course has come to an end for this year. Our tutor sent us the details of the homework for the unit that we have just finished, but there was no link for the next lesson.

A short while later, there was another mail with a link, but for a chat reunion at the end of July. So that seems to be that until September.

It isn’t really, though, because I have a couple of summer courses coming up and then I stumbled across a whole list of short courses for special interest groups, such as football supporters, transport workers, all different kinds of things. And I’m also going to look out for a few more virtual classroom courses.

Having some kind of face-to-face structured course is important for me because I’m not able to discipline myself sufficiently, and what with austerity and all of that, I can’t afford those ladies in Soho any more so self-discipline is important.

Meanwhile, back at the ran … errr … apartment, I failed once again to go to bed at any kind of realistic time, despite not having all that much to do. In the end it was nearer midnight than 23:00 when I finally crawled into bed.

Once under the quilt, I remember nothing whatsoever. I must have fallen asleep immediately and there I lay, totally painlessly, until 06:15. And that, I reckon, is the longest continual sleep that I’ve had for quite some considerable time.

It was also the deepest because, as I noticed with dismay, once again there was nothing on the dictaphone.

However, I have made an executive decision – and for the benefit of new readers … "of whom there are more than just a few these days" – ed … an executive decision is one when, if it’s the wrong decision, the person making it is executed.

What I’ve decided is that I’m going to advance the alarm to 06:29 in the morning. In the good old days I used to have the alarm set at 06:00, then as my condition developed it went to 07:30, and as I adapted to things, it came backwards to 07:00. What I’ll do for now is to see how 6:30 works.

In the bathroom I had a good wash and then went to sort out the medication for the morning.

Back in here I reviewed my Welsh homework and sent it off for marking. That didn’t take too long, and it was just as well because the nurse, with no blood samples to take or injections to do, was early.

He didn’t hang about long, so I could make my breakfast and read MY NEW BOOK.

Despite it being over 400 years since it was written, and thus containing a great many myths that subsequent investigations have disproved, it promises to be quite interesting. It mentions several little-known facts that have subsequently been proven to be true but are not in the generally-attributed wider knowledge.

For example, after the defeat of Allectus and his army in 296 AD, some of his Frankish mercenary troops fled north where a wandering bunch of Roman soldiers, cut off by the fog from the main battle, trapped them in the streets of London and massacred them.

It promises to be interesting for other reasons too. Our author, John Stow, says of London that "Tacitus, who first of all authors named it Londinium, saith, that, in the 62nd year after Christ, it was, albeit, no colony of the Romans, yet most famous for the great multitude of merchants, provision, and intercourse "

Maybe that was why the Editor of Aunt Judy’s magazine had her offices there.

Back in here, I revised my Welsh and then went for my lesson. Once more, the extra preparation paid dividends and I made a lot of progress. I’m disappointed though that the lessons are coming to an end for the Summer. Just as I was starting to make progress too, after all of the barren times this last couple of years. I really need to find a way to push on.

After lunch, Ingrid ‘phoned me and we had a very long chat. She has a lot of problems right now that are distracting her from whatever it is that she’s supposed to be doing. I hope that things go well for her soon.

My cleaner put her sooty foot in the door too. With the news that the company that makes my vegan cheese is going out of business, when she was at LeClerc this morning she cleaned out their stock of grated cheese and it’s all in her fridge upstairs, even as we speak.

The rest of the day has been spent drafting the lengthy reply to the kitchen fitter, with a whole list of answers to the questions that he’s asking. At least, however, he’s asking intelligent and thoughtful questions, and we’ll probably find that most of the work will be done on the desk and the computer, which will save a lot of time in the long run.

Tea tonight was the stuffed pepper that I should have had yesterday, followed by ginger cake and soya dessert.

So right now I’m off to bed ready for a day radioing tomorrow. It’s shower day too so I’ll be having a good clean, which is nice.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about school and lessons … "well, one of us has" – ed … I am reminded of the story of the little boy who went to school for his very first day.
When he returned home, his mother asked him how he did. He replied "not very well, apparently"
"Why was that?" asked his mother
"I can’t have done enough work" he replied. "They want me to go back tomorrow".

Monday 9th June 2025 – THEY HAVE CHANGED …

… my hours at the dialysis centre, so it seems.

However, it wasn’t they who told me, it was the taxi company, when I rang them to find out why the taxi hadn’t come for me

It’s not been changed to the morning either, which was what I was hoping, but instead it’s being put back from 13:30 to 14:00. That is what they would in Mexico call a peon in the hacienda.

What was annoying was that I was good and ready for the taxi at 12:30, after having what for me is a good night’s sleep. It was after midnight when I stopped letting it all hang out and crawled off to bed. It took a while to go off to sleep but once I’d gone, I’d really gone.

And there I stayed until all of … errr … 05:50. I didn’t recall anything whatsoever going on during the night.

Being awake is 05:50 is not the same as being out of bed. That’s for sure. Mind you, when I heard the electric water heater switch off at 06:20 I was already sitting at my desk. I had decided to make the most of the opportunity and I was dictating the notes for the additional track to complete the radio programme that I almost finished yesterday.

After a wash, a clothes-washing session and the morning’s supply of medication, I came back in here to listen to the dictaphone to find out what I’d been up to during the night. I wasn’t going to work any more. I’d been ill so I’d finished work and was at home. I’d been experimenting with a few things. At the end of the week, on a Friday, Nerina came home with a loaf of bread, some cakes and a few types of speciality loaves. She was showing them to me. “I don’t want to steal your thunder” I said, but reaching under the worktop, I pulled out a loaf that I had made during the day. She replied that her loaf was much nicer than mine, which they probably were. I noticed that my loaf of bread had been cut in half. It was in two halves under the counter and one half had not been put into the freezer to freeze. She’d also brought some cakes with her. She told me that a couple were for me. I wondered how I was going to eat them because it was going to be difficult. She made no explanation so I thought that I’d eat one today and maybe one tomorrow, something like that. I thought that this would give me a great opportunity to actually do some baking myself. I didn’t want to be put off by this idea of Nerina buying stuff and bringing it home when I’d like to have a go at making it

Nothing in the above would surprise me. Nerina never had great faith in my cooking, which was hardly surprising bearing in mind my mother’s cooking. What started off my culinary apprenticeship, such as it was, was with Nerina who, having an Italian mother, could rustle up a tasty meal out of the most basic ingredients. The rest was picked up here and there, especially from my friend Liz (“that” Liz, not “this” Liz) and by trial and error – usually much more of the latter.

There was a battle to be fought. It was to take place in the early months of the Spring. It was again something to do with the Wars of the Roses. The armies had to negotiate themselves into a good position so that they could defend it and attack the opponents. One of them had to inform its superiors in whichever army by 12th June – can you imagine that? Preparing for a war and having to organise something for several months like this?

We had a “Wars of the Roses” moment the other day too. This book about medieval castles is really getting to me right now. But the prelude to the battle bears a strong resemblance to the prelude for the Battle of Flodden Field in 1513

Later on, it was something to do with mobile ‘phones. Some young boy had had a mobile ‘phone at first and was totally confused by all of the offers on the market. His father sat down and went through them all with him. They worked out which one was the best so they arranged coverage with that one. In the meantime, the father decided that he’d buy the main shop in the town where this best company was installed and slowly set out the premises, then he could take over the installation of these sites and how tall they were. That way, he’d have a monopoly on the amount of work that was being done in the town on mobile ‘phones.

There was nothing in that dream that seemed to be of any significance or ring any bells with me.

Finally, I’d had a girlfriend. She was a few years younger than me but I liked her anyway and she liked me, which was the important thing. We hung around for a while, nothing particularly seriously, One day she’d been round to my house but my mother said that she’d have to go. I saw her to the door but told her to come back in half an hour. Half an hour later she was there on the doorstep and I smuggled her into the house. I had to leave her for a minute while I went to the bathroom, and she decided that she needed to go too. She went into the bathroom and I closed the door and waited outside. My mother had heard the toilet flush from the previous time so she came upstairs to use the bathroom, walked in and found this girl in there. Naturally, she was quite upset and it led to something of an argument but by the time that the three of us were walking downstairs again my mother had calmed down a little. I think that she’d started to accept by this time that this girl was going to be somewhere around in the future. I remember saying to this girl as we were walking down the stairs “you can’t say that life going out with me isn’t exciting, can you?”.

This house – it was the one in Shavington that we left when I was 16. I can see it quite clearly. I can still see the girl too. She was short, small-framed and with dark curly hair down just past her shoulders. I was convinced that I knew who she was too, but now that I’m awake … "really?" – ed … I can’t recognise her at all.

But finally “getting the girl” and overwhelming my mother? Things are surely beginning to look up. I just wish that I knew who the girl was.

Isabelle the Nurse breezed in as usual and didn’t hang about. It’s her last day so I imagine that she has plenty of blood samples and injections to perform, seeing as her oppo starts his round tomorrow.

After she left I made breakfast and then sat down to eat it, with a good book on the laptop.

At long last, we’ve finished Geo T Clark’s MEDIEVAL MILITARY ARCHITECTURE IN ENGLAND and I can’t say that I was disappointed. It ended up going out like a damp squib which is not surprising.

And having yesterday mocked somewhat the author of a book dated 1840, the next reading matter to come round on the book list was printed in 1604.

It’s called THE SURVEY OF LONDON and it’s a guide book discussing the different localities of London as they were at the end of the Fifteenth Century, with a few anecdotal notes about things that our author, John Stowe, picked up while he was researching.

It’s a book that’s been on my reading list for ages. Liz (“this” Liz, not “that” Liz) and I spent days wandering around London in between University meetings twenty years ago, visiting all kinds of hidden corners.

London has changed considerably since the slum clearances that began at the end of the Nineteenth Century and the Luftwaffe bombing, so I’m hoping to find a collection of books that describe how it used to be. I’ve found a few from the early Twentieth Century but they are in the period where the modernisation of the City was in full swing, and a lot had gone already by them.

What I’m hoping is that this book will fill the gap.

After breakfast I came back in here to start work. And today’s task was the Welsh homework, which is now finished, although God knows what it will be like. I’m really struggling to concentrate these days.

My cleaner turned up bang on time to fit my patches, and then I had to wait for the taxi. And wait. And wait.

When I rang up to enquire after it, I was told that the dialysis centre had changed my hours. That was the first that I had heard of it.

The taxi already had a passenger aboard when it arrived, and once I was in, we set off.

At the dialysis centre I was seen quite quickly. They confirmed that my hours had changed but they didn’t believe me when I told them that I knew nothing about it. That rather annoyed me.

No-one bothered me all afternoon, which was a good thing. However, I didn’t do very much. I wasn’t in the mood.

The same passenger was with me on the return journey so the driver dropped him off first. It took about fifteen minutes to take him to his room at the Re-education Centre so it was about 19:15 when I made it back home. And I’ve no idea why, but I found myself in a foul mood.

Back in my lair, I crashed into a chair and vegetated for an hour. I was exhausted. Tea was a simple pasta and burger and now I’m off to bed, totally wasted.

But seeing as we have been talking about historical novels … "well, one of us has" – ed … a book written in 1604 will be full of obsolete phrase and spelling.
That’s no surprise though, because the English language was in a state of confusion, consolidation and correction round about that time.
As Kenneth Williams once famously said "but English is a very peculiar language"
And as Sid James famously replied "you interrupt me once more and you’ll hear some VERY peculiar language"

EPIC HALL

The Poisoned Pen (or Poisoned Chalice, more like) – or my relentless struggle against reality

Monday 23rd June 2025 – I HAD A …

Sunday 22nd June 2025 – AFTER YESTERDAY’S EXCITEMENT …

Saturday 21st June 2025 – I KNOW THAT …

Friday 20th June 2025 – WE NOW HAVE …

Thursday 19th June 2025 – WE NOW HAVE …

Wednesday 18th June 2025 – THE FIRST OF THE …

Tuesday 17th June 2025 – I HAVE NO …

Monday 16th June 2025 – I AM WASTED …

Sunday 15th June 2025 – WHAT A LOVELY …

Saturday 14th June 2025 – I DON’T KNOW …

Friday 13th June 2025 – IT HAS BEEN …

Thursday 12th June 2025 – I AM NOT …

Wednesday 11th June 2025 – I DON’T THINK …

Tuesday 10th June 2025 – IT SEEMS THAT …

Monday 9th June 2025 – THEY HAVE CHANGED …

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