Tag Archives: les guis

Sunday 3rd January 2010 – I’ve had a western day today.

Seeing as it was below freezing for most of the day I didn’t feel like going out. I have 6 more westerns to see out of that batch that I bought and so today it was the turn of Stagecoach, Man Of The Frontier and One Eyed Jacks.

Of course, Stagecoach is by far and away the most famous of them all. It was the film that catapulted John Wayne into the limelight back in 1939. Mind you, any self-respecting band of native Americans could have done us all a big favour. 60 Indians on horseback – fleet-footed Indian ponies at that – racing after a Studebaker (and in reality it should have been a Concord) stagecoach and 9 passengers with an all-up weight of three or four tons being pulled by 6 horses and not only could they not catch it, not a single one of the Indians had the intelligence to pump a pile of lead into the horses pulling the coach. But then, what would you have done with the remaining 1 hour 29 minutes and 30 seconds?

Mind you it was an exciting chase through the Utah and New Mexico desert across the foot of the Mokee Dugway across to Medicine Hat – a route that regular followers of my outpourings will have seen before.

One Eyed Jacks wasn’t anything like as bad as I expected it to be – in fact it was quite watchable. It starred and was the first film to be directed by Marlon Brando. After the film was released he complained bitterly that his film had been ruthlessly cut by the editing crew and it had destroyed the whole synthesis of what he was trying to achieve. He had a point but then again so did the editing crew – Brando’s version of the film was over 5 hours long! Imagine the “Director’s Cut” of that!

Gene Autry was another contender for the role of “The Singing Cowboy” (or “Cattleyouth as you have to say these days) and my mother, being the kind of woman that she was, made us sit through all of his films until we knew the lyrics off by heart. Funnily enough, I’d forgotten all about Man Of The Frontier (that’s not even a cattleyouth film seeing as it was set in the 1930s and is about the construction of a dam – a kind of Campbell’s Kingdom in reverse) until he burst into a rendition of “Red River Valley”.

And then it all came flooding back (well, we are talking about dams here). My mother proposed me to enter this talent contest when I was knee-high and told me to sing “Red River Valley”. But I was rebellious even in those days and was hurled off the stage and told never to come back, after merely singing –
I can sing all the songs by Gene Autry
But my singing is certainly vile
When I sing of the Red River Valley
Well the cowboys they all run a mile!

But we were talking the other day about coincidences in Hollywood. And one of the films that cropped up was of course the legendary Blazing Saddles. In that film the baddy was played by Harvey Korman and his sidekick was Slim Pickens. In One Eyed Jacks the baddy was Karl Malden who just happens to be the spitting image of Harvey Korman – you had to look twice to see any difference – and his sidekick was … errr … Slim Pickens. Yes – I reckon Mel Brooks owns the same Western collection that I have!

And that’s not all! In Stagecoach the coach driver was Andy Devine. And I’ve seen Andy Devine before – he was Roy Rogers’ sidekick in The Bells of San Angelo that we saw the other day. And in the 1966 remake of Stagecoach the stage driver was none other than Slim Pickens.

I did manage to get outside though and having found by coincidence a piece of gas pips that was of 32mm diameter I’ve assembled and erected my weather station. The anenometer goes round nicely and the rain gauge will have its work cut out as it’s snowing like hell outside.

In other news, you have all heard about the fraudulent election in Afghanistan – obviously Karzi has been taking lessons from the bushbaby and Florida. Despite the acknowledged widespread fraud, the parliament has shown some teeth by rejecting Karzi’s proposed cabinet more-or-less en masse citing ethicity bribery or money as the reasons for Karzi’s choice of most of them. However, the United Nations finds “the rejection of Karzai(sic)’s cabinet worrying“. So despite having tried to force the Karzi to work hard to outlaw corruption in Afghanistan, the United Nations – and hence the west – are dismayed that a corrupt and illegitimate puppet government would go so far reject nominees for posts where the nominee is either a fellow-tribesman or a significant sum of money has changed hands re the post. So a corrupt election “electing” a corrupt government led by a corrupt President with a cabinet stacked with corrupt ministers is acceptable to the west because it’s pro-western, yet a democratically-elected government next door in Iran is deemed to be unacceptable and a suitable candidate to be undermined, because the democratically-elected government there is anti-western.

The hypocrisy is staggering. You couldn’t make up a story like this!

-6

Saturday 2nd January 2010 – Well…

…I’ve finally had the day that I have been waiting for – a long cold Arctic sunny day. There were still plenty of clouds around but I managed 135 amp-hours of electricity in the house and 37.4 in the barn. That figure for the house – it’s the highest since 20th November and it’s cheered me up a little.

So this morning I had a really good clean and tidy up. I threw out tons of stuff and there’s another huge pile for burning. I may well do that tomorrow and cook some potatoes while I’m at it, to eat tomorrow night with the pizza. I’ve found some more pine shelving and I took that upstairs and now that’s all full of folders documents and magazines. The place looks pretty impressive and that’s just as well for Terry and Liz came round this evening. And that reminds me – I must fix up a proper doorbell now that I’m more likely to have visitors. I can’t have my guests banging on the door for ages while I have the music going full-tilt.

This afternoon I went into Pionsat to swap a bottle of gas at the garage. I like to support local commerces if it’s just for this kind of thing. It’s cheaper than going to St Eloy even if the gas is cheaper there – 10kms instead of 35 and much less chance of being sidetracked by LIDL. But despite the garage having a notice saying “Ferme les dimanche ainsi que les jours feries” it was closed, despite it being neither a Sunday nor a Public Holiday. I don’t know what’s the matter with these places in Pionsat – they don’t want to earn any money and I had to go to St Eloy instead. Yes, the long-range weather forecast warns us of MINUS 13 on Tuesday night, MINUS 14 on Thursday night and MINUS 6 during Friday DAYTIME. I don’t want to be stuck without heating in these conditions.

And I’m having serious second thoughts about my kitchen. I have to bring the water pipe all the way across the house to the far corner of the attic and then drop the water down below to the bathroom but run a hot water pipe right the way back across the house to the lean-to where I’ll be putting the kitchen. Meanwhile directly under the stairs on the ground floor and right underneath the bathroom will be a load of dead space. And today I’ve been thinking about putting an open kitchen there. It’ll narrow the room quite a bit (from 5.2 metres to about 3.6) and the kitchen will be quite small but then again I’m not using half of this attic and there is only me to think about. It’ll make the plumbing so much easier too.

What do you think? All comments hints and suggestions are welcome.

-7

Friday 1st January 2010 – I’m blogging early this evening.

Yes, I won’t be up much longer as I’m going to have an early night – I’m shattered. Last night’s major revelling kept me awake until all of 00:45 before I crashed out, and I had a leisurely morning in bed until about 10:00. So I’ve no idea why it is that it’s just after 22:00 and I’m ready for bed.

It’s not as if I’ve done very much either. I’ve managed a stroll across to the barn to check on things over there but that involved dodging a deluge of snowy rain that’s been falling all day. Apart from that I’ve been up here doing not very much at all.

Christmas is of course not complete without watching “The Great Escape” on television. And for me, New Year always involves watching old westerns on DVD. You may recall that I bought a copy of John Wayne’s Fort Apache the other day but it wasn’t that I was watching. In Brussels at the Media Market in April I bought a boxed set of vintage westerns from the 1940s and 50s – 9 old hand-coloured “forgotten classics” and so I’ve been watching Vengeance Valley, Abilene Town and The Bells of San Angelo this afternoon.

The Bells of San Angelo is a “Roy Rogers and Trigger” western featuring a whole pile of singing cowboys. It’s as cheesy as anything you can imagine and I’m not sure whether, looking at it from today’s perspective, you could distinguish it from anything that Mel Brooks might put out. I’m not sure who might have ever considered it as being anything like a “serious” western but we are talking of the days before the idea of a parody had ever been set into anyone’s minds and when people were still scratching their heads trying to figure out what Hellzapoppin’ was all about.

On the other hand, Vengeance Valley is a much more interesting film. The plot revolves around an unmarried mother giving birth to a child out of wedlock and how much of a risque topic was this for that period? Especially as the film treats her with sympathy and reviles the doctor who refuses to treat her until he “has a request from the father”. But it’s quite interesting from my point of view as the film opens with a narrative about the loneliness of being high up in the mountains with nothing but the eerie wind whistling through the pines. Now have a read of this page that I wrote in 2002.

The prize for the most significant film however nust be given to Abilene Town. It’s an early Randolph Scott film and features a conflict between homesteaders and the cattle-barons. it introduces the concept of the “good” and “bad” sides of the main street – an idea that was developed in Kirk Douglas’ Gunfight At The Ok Corral. What is even more interesting is that there is a scene inside a music hall with a dancer and chorus line and as soon as you see it you will immediately say Blazing Saddles. Not only that, the film ends with a confrontation between the pacific citizens and rowdy cattle hands, just as in the aforementioned. And when towards the end of Blazing Saddles Cleavon Little invokes the name of Randolph Scott, it all becomes clear and you know precisely on which film Brooks based much of Blazing Saddles.

Not only that, in another one of those moments that can only be described as coincidence, I mentioned the music hall scene, that was absolutely horrendous, and a perusal of the full cast list reveals that the choreography (if that is what it was) was by Sammy Lee. No wonder he only lasted a handful of games as manager of Bolton Wanderers if that was the best that he could do.

And there are three items of news that have caught my eye today. Firstly, relating to the mysterious affair of the underwear bomber, we have an announcement from the UK Government. Now who reading this blog is surprised? Of course you will be saying that the British Government had no connection at all with the supposed detonation or not of this weapon (although if course anything is possible in this modern age) but you can see that they cannot pass up an opportunity to remove some more civil liberties from their citizens. What do you do if you need a gipsy’s towards the end of your flight? Of course the Brits will take it lying down as always – no-one in the UK has any backbone any more. It reminds me of the OUSA Executive Committee meeting when they learnt that I had been elected to a position within their august body, and a shiver ran round the whole meeting looking for a spine to run up.

But you’ll note that the UK Government targets Yemen in its prognostications. Those ideas are developed further elsewhere. So having targeted Iraq and having a good go at Iran they are now having a go at a third state in the area. No wonder the whole of Islam feels under threat from the west. All they really need to do is to have a good go at Syria, which will no doubt be forthcoming in early course, and they will have ringed and surrounded the chief culprit in the whole of the Al-Qaida network – namely Saudi Arabia. Of the 19 hijackers of September 11th, 15 were Saudis. They were trained by a Saudi, led by a Saudi and financed by a Saudi (who just happens to be a big pal of the Bushbaby’s daddy) and so the western world invaded …. errr …. Afghanistan. Of course with the west getting half of its oil from Saudi Arabia it was never likely to tackle Al Qaida and Bin Laden on their home territory in case Bin Laden’s dad, the fourth-richest man in Saudi Arabia, cuts off the western supply of oil. And as more and more of Iraqi oil is sold to the likes of China and Angola, then the west’s dependency on the spiritual home of Al Qaida for its oil is not likely to end any time soon.

Thirdly, it appears that the UK National Health Service is about to collapse underneath the weight of the drunks and binge drinkers in the country. So sozzled has British society become that the Brits are totally shameless about it. Someone on a certain Social Networking site not so long ago posted with pride that she didn’t remember anything after 11 o clock on one particular and woke up next day at 1:30 in the afternoon still in her clothes and shoes, so she must have had a good time, and she can’t wait to go out and get wrecked again. In fact so sozzled is the UK right at this moment that the answer is staring them in the face and they are too p155ed to see it. All you do, to solve the crisis is to put an extra 50p tax on the price of an individual drink, or £4:00 on the price of a bottle, and give all the extra tax raised to the NHS.

Problem solved.

Mnd you, knowing the NHS as I do, what they will do with the money is to engage thousands of extra consultants to advise on how to spend the money, and when they send in their bills the total will be about exactly the amount received, so nothing at all will reach the front line and the NHS will be back where it started.

No surprise there.

-6

Thursday 31st December 2009 – Fiat even more Lux!

Yes, the lighting is slowly progressing around the house now. Even with having light up and down the stairwell, it still meant that I needed a torch to move around the house as the living room was in darkness. But I remedied that this morning by using the other half of the light switch at the foot of the stairs and an old redundant light switch by the door into the kitchen, and I now have a light by the front door over the control panel and I can now happily move around torchless.

You might think that this light isn’t all that bright. But firstly, it’s plenty bright enough to move around with and secondly, it’s only 1.2 watts, believe it or not. Yes, these 12-volt LED lights from LIDL, at €4.49 a shot, they are definitely the way to go.

Don’t look too closely at the wiring by the way. Terry takes the mickey out of it even when I do what I consider to be a good job. But here, I ran out of wire and had to cobble together whatever I could find .

I also ran out of time. I did in fact allow myself plenty of time but Claude came round. He’s got a puncture on his old Clio and was wondering if I had a spare 155×13 tyre. I have a couple but they are for the diesel Escort and I’m not going to part with them so I offered to run him into town or to a scrapyard to pick something up. But no, did I have anything? In the end I found 2 165×13 tyres on Volkswagen wheels that belonged to the Passat before I had a lucky find with those 175/70×14 Golf wheels and tyres. So they are the wrong size and on different wheels and they have been hanging around outside for 7 years in all kinds of weather. But they are free so he’s taken them and will change them himself onto the Renault wheels with a crowbar.

Now I did some crazy things with cars and the like in my youth but I drew the line with tyres long before this particular point was ever reached. Second-hand tyres of good quality from a scrapyard is fair game but perishing (in both senses of the word) Uniroyal and Courier remould tyres – well, it’s a problem in the making, this is. And I’m not quite sure how a crowbar will affect the rims of the wheels, especially when you need to rely on the integrity of the rims to keep an airtight seal with tubeless tyres.

This afternoon I fitted one of the offcuts from the verandah roof over where the plant-pot beichstuhl is. There’s no roof over where I’ve fitted it although the scaffolding planks on the scaffolding overhead so protect it somewhat. But with a driving wind causing everything to swirl about, I had a good soaking while I was riding the porcelain (or in this case, aluminium) horse this afternoon. Time for action!

In between all of this, I did a load of washing. After last night’s brilliant and clear skies the sky forgot to cloud over this morning and for a couple of hours we had a brilliantly clear sky. I seized the opportunity to do a load of washing but the clouds caught up before I had finished and now everything is receiving a final rinse from Mother Nature out on the washing line. And more rain is forecast.

I nipped round to Claude’s this evening to give him and Francoise a bottle of champagne for New Year, seeing as I forgot to give it to them on Christmas Eve. Beethoven is ill and they are going to have to take him to the vet’s. He’s 16 and in reasonable health and has bags of character. I’m not into dogs but in his case I could make an exception. I hope he’s going to be ok.

And that was that. I had a nice tea with some roast potatoes, and now I’m going to do nothing except listen to the torrential rain beating down on the roof.

Happy New Year to you all. And I wish for you for 2010 everything that you wished on everyone else for 2009.

-6

Wednesday 30th December 2009 – You may remember …

… a few weeks ago that I was in Neris-les-Bains looking for a shower (of course they were all in Milton Keynes but the less said about the OUSA Executive Committee the better) – anyway, here’s a pic taken there in the dark earlier this evening.

In the dark???

Yes, I had just come out of the swimming baths where I had a really good soak (and I’m not taling about anyone from the OUSA …. “you’ve done that already” – ed) but even so, I was only in there for an hour.

So what was going on?

This morning I braved the torrential rainstorm that we were having (we had 21mm of rain today and it’s still going) and went to Montlucon for Caliburn’s new tyres. And of course, now that we have two new ordinary ones on the back and two expensive snow tyres on the front it isn’t ever going to snow again, is it? That took me to midday and so I went for a wander around NOZ, the grot shop, where I bought a pile of cook-in sauces, and then to the Auchan where in between all of the shopping I bought 2 DVDs in the sale, at €2.99 each. One is the John Wayne classic Fort Apache and the second is the legendary Return Of The Pink Panther. Easily the best of the Pink Panther films and that by a long chalk too. So imagine my consternation, if not horror, at Christmas 2006 when I discovered to my chagrin that the film was for some unaccountable reason not included in The Pink Panther Film Collection (6 Disc Box Set). And here it is, at €2.99!

That took me to about 13:50 and I was planning to go home then but I was irresistibly lured to Brico Depot, and wasn’t that a big mistake? I was rummaging around looking for cable connectors as I’m not very happy using chocolate blocks. I saw some things that looked suitable and asked to speak to a vendor. And waited. And waited. And waited. eventually someone appeared, served a few other people, and then came over to me.
“Is it you who is looking for assistance?” she asked
“Yes, for about 15 minutes” I replied petulantly.
“Well, I’m all on my own” she said
“So am I” I stated “so why don’t we get married so that we can be together?” No wonder they all hate me in these French shops.

But that wasn’t even half of it. Every so often they have what are called “arrivages” – products that they buy in specially and are priced to sell. And on offer today were kitchen worktops – 1800×600 for all of €15:99 instead of the usual €49:99 or so. Most of the colours were pretty awful but there was one that caught my eye – a kind-of false marble effect of light grey, white and pink speckle. I need just under three for my kitchen but this is also the colour that will go nicely in the bathroom, which, you may recall, for reasons of other products having been bought in Brico Depot’s clearance sale and also a pile of second-hand tiles I have lying around, is going to be … errr … pink. Anyway, I need about four of these lengths all told – and they just happened to have four left.

I also need some 500mm pine shelving to make the bases of the units in the kitchen. Three of these in fact, and they just happened to have three left. So even though I am a long way away from making my units I now have a lot of the stuff that I need. I also have a wallet that is considerably lighter.

At the cash desk there was this ever-so-sweet young girl cashing up. She had a really difficult job looking for the barcode labels.
“They’ve been put on in the wrong place” she lamented.
“I bet it’s all Pierre (one of the guys who works there who plays football for Pionsat)’s fault” I replied
“Do you know him?” she asked.
“Ohhh yes, he plays football for our local team“.
“He was in my class at school” she chirped.
The world is getting too flaming small for my liking.

And so, having left Brico Depot at 16:15 that was how come I ended up leaving the swimming baths at Neris at 18:20. And I encountered a cat – a huge black moggy – in Neris. it came for a stroke and a cuddle and even let me pick it up. It’s a long time since I’ve stroked a nice pussy like that and it was ever so contented and looked set to stay there for ever. I really must get a cat when I settle down. But then a car pulled up across the road, a woman got out and went through the gate and up the path towards the front door of this house, and Minou leapt out of my arms and legged it up the path after her. Cupboard love!

I was musing earlier, like I do every so often. In the comments section of this blog, yours truly (who lives in France and is white-skinned) was discussing with Rhys (who lives in the USA and is white-skinned) have been having a discussion about where is the best place to leave a bomb in a Boeing 747. Now just imagine if we lived in the UK and were brown-skinned? we would be hit with a “possessing information likely to be of use to terrorists” and “conspiracy” and hurled into Belmarsh before you could say “Al Qaida”. Such is the situation in the UK at the moment and it’s a reflection of the racist nature of the society that the UK has become due to the level of fear and of hate that Gordon Clown and the B Liar have stirred up. And they call it a “free country”. Doesn’t it make you laugh?

And in other news, hello and welcome to Kate who has found her way here. Kate was part of a group of miscreants which which I was associated back in days of yore in the Open University and we all had many exciting adventures in the OUSA Conferencing system. It’s nice to “see” you after all this time.

+12

-8

Tuesday 29th December 2009 – Errr … yes …. quite!

So I finished the lighting in the stairwell this morning as you can see. There’s a 12-volt LED light now illuminating where the entrance hall is going to be.

. Once that was done I looked at the list of other small jobs to do. One of them was to fit a piece of insulation over the top of the battery box and seeing as that golden thingy was up in the sky I reckoned that this was a good time to do it.

So I removed all of the rubbish from off the top of the wooden lid, cleaned everything out, and while I was about it I checked the batteries – I haven’t done that for a while.

There are 10 batteries in the box – they are all Hawker 92-amphour sealed gel batteries. 9 of them were all nice and cool and simmering away nicely. The tenth was boiling hot and it you look closely you will see where the case has swollen up. This is pretty serious stuff. It’s the first battery in the bank and it’s quite clear from looking at this that the business of handling 250 amps of current per day during the summer has proved to be too much. It’s boiled, the plates have swollen and made a short circuit inside. The short circuit has created resistance to the charge and that resistance is being dissipated into heat and hence the battery is warm and why the charge in the rest of the batteries is down.

Just at that moment a friendly grey cloud blew over the sun and cut off the solar energy so I did a swift disconnection, removed the battery and subsituted another one. And straight away the battery voltage went up 0.4 of a volt.

I’ve rerouted the cables so the positive lead goes into one battery and the negative lead goes into another and that will help to circulate the current a little better but I think that I’m going to have to reconsider my configuration. I can generate a theoretical maximum of about 75 amps but a more practical expectation is about 50 amps. 50 amps seems to be too much for one battery so I’m planning on reverting to the original idea of having two banks of batteries with each of the two banks of solar panels charging up its own bank of batteries. The bus bar, that connects everything together, instead of being between the control panel and the batteries, will have to be sited after the batteries. That will involve more cable, with a greater potential for voltage drop, but unless I can think of another way then that will have to do.

After lunch I made a start on the jungle but I wasn’t there for long. Claude came round for my assistance with his trailer wiring that he coulsn’t get to work. So the rest of the afternoon was spent rewiring his trailer.

And in other news, here is the reason for the latest attempt at airline piracy. One western country wants to remove another civil liberty from its citizens so it needs to create a panic in order to scare them sufficiently so that they will fall for it hook line and sinker. I’m not quite sure what kind of pervert it is that wants to spend all day looking at naked bodies but if this is going to become law I’m going to insist that the people operating the scanners are completely starkers so we can get our own back by looking at them in the buff.

Of course the way to respond, if this ever happens, is to whip up a scandal of our own by accusing all of the airport staff of being pedophiles anxious to have a sneaky look and the naked body of some unsuspecting minor. That should whip up quite a storm, and quite right too.

-7

Monday 28th December 2009 – I dunno why it is …

…. but when I say “a few little jobs” they turn out to be what seems like major engineering projects.

As you might have guessed it rained down in torrents today, 9mm of it in total. So a “work inside” day it was. First job was to rig up some lighting in the stairwell. Now leaving qualified electricians out of the equation, Terry, how long does it take to cut into a wiring circuit, wire in a lightswitch top and bottom and paired to two-way, and add a couple of light sockets? A couple of hours? So why has it taken all day and I’m still not finished? I was quite happily threading three single strands through some conduit and I noticed that it was 13:34. Where did the morning go? And the afternoon went quickly too, much quicker than the work did. Funny thing was that I don’t remember having any difficulty or being stuck on any part of the job. I must have been caught in a timewarp somewhere.

And I also seem to have broken the Ryobi flourescent light and that’s a tragedy. That light has fallen down stairwells, fallen through holes in the floor, had spanners drop on top of it and it’s functioned perfectly. Yet on my way downstairs earlier and I caught it on one of the verticals and that was that. I’ll have to find another one, or work out how I can fix it.

So tomorrow I’ll finish off the light fittings and then do a couple of other things. I’ll see how long I can spin them out for.

And in a change to the weather forecast, sun is now forecast for Friday and Saturday. Well, we’ll see.

In other news, I see that we have had another person setting fire to his shoe in an aeroplane and being overpowered by the passengers and crew. But as I said at the time of the “Richard Reid” incident and I’ll say it again here – there’s much more to all of this than meets the eye. If these guys had really wanted to bring down these aeroplanes they would be setting fire to their shoes inside the toilets where no-one could overpower them. There’s something else going on here and I’m trying to work out what it is. But whatever it is, a serious attempt to blow up an aeroplane it isn’t.

-2

Sunday 27th December 2009 – How about this …

… for sheer utter laziness? The farthest I have been today is to walk across the courtyard to the barn to check the solar energy being received over there (10.4 amp-hours). Apart from that, a couple of times up and down the stairs and that is basically that.

But as it’s the last day of my holiday until Thursday I reckoned I deserved it. I start work again tomorrow. There’s a couple of little jobs I need to fix and then it depends what the weather is doing. If it’s raining I’ll be starting on the kitchen. If it’s fine I’ll be dragging the two halves of old Ford Transit, the old Cortina and the Mercedes out of the hedge and beginning on the site of the new vegetable plot. If you have a look at image 25 on this page you’ll see the Cortina and the Merc. That’s where I’ll be putting my plots.

Mind you, I reckon it will be “working inside”. The long-range forecast for the seven days is that for six of them there is a risque de pluie. The only day that is any different is Saturday when there is a risque de neige. Who says that the weather round here isn’t reliable?

-6

Saturday 26th December 2009 – Yesterday’s weather …

… was almost as I predicted. I awoke to bright sunlight and I thought that my luck might be in

But true to form, it clouded over round about 11:00 am and that was that, I reckoned. Mind you, in a departure from the usual trend it cleared at about 16:00 and we managed a half-hour or so of fine weather and so on

Through the night it remained perfectly clear, with a heavy frost and so on. Millions of stars in the sky. And today – yes today was the day I have been waiting for as we ended up with one of those Alpine winter days. Still a fair amount of cloud about but also 120 amp-hours of solar energy – more than I’ve had in total for the last 10 days I reckon. That’s more like it.

And all that I did today was to go to Bills at le Quartier for his Boxing Day do. He cooked an excellent nut roast and as an added attraction he gave me the remains in a doggy-bag and that will keep me going for quite a while.

And talking of dogs, the Hound of the Baskervilles was in good humour today.

Not very exciting news as I’m sure you have noticed. But who cares? I’m on holiday. And this is how I’m going to stay for a few days until I restart work. I deserve it.

But I also have to go into Montlucon on Wednesday as Caliburn’s tyres have now come.

-5

Friday 25th December 2009 – And a Merry Christmas to all my readers.

That was what used to be written on the banner of the kids’ comics such as the Beano and the Dandy back when I was a kid. But I remember it more being scrawled upon the wall of the public lavatories at Crewe Bus Station back in the 1960s. Yes, I have fond memories of the toilets at Crewe Bus Station – it’s where I learnt a good deal of anatomy simply by reading the notices and looking at the pictures drawn on the walls.

There was a good deal of good poetry too – forget your Stephen Spenders and Louis MacNeices – what gem have they ever written that could possibly compare with the lyrical rhapsody of

It’s no good standing on the seat
The crabs in here can jump six feet
And if you think that that is high
Go next door! The b@$t@rd$ fly!

It knocks Wordsworth’s flaming daffodils into a cocked hat, I can tell you.

So much to my surprise I was up and about by 09:40 this morning. Even more surprising because I didn’t go to bed until gone 04:00. And today, I have dome exactly zilch. I’ve not even made lunch and dinner – just sitting here nibbling on bits and pieces.

The most strenuous thing that I did was to wander over to Caliburn and rescue the cake that Liz made for me. And isn’t it magnificent? It’s almost too good to cut, isn’t it? Nevertheless, half of it is now in a Tesco storage container downstairs in the verandah and the other half is up here in a Tesco storage container.

And it’s delicious too! It’s far too nice to eat. It was really thoughtful of Liz to make it for me.

I’ve also unpacked the weather centre that I bought. That will have to wait for a few days to be installed as it’s quite an operation. It also requires, would you believe, 10xAA batteries to work it altogether. I need to go and have a hunt around to see what I have.

And that was that! And I don’t care either.

And once again, Season’s greetings to all of you. Thank you for your support.

-5

Thursday 24th December 2009 – The one thing …

… about the drive down to Liz and Terry’s is the view from the birdwatching site just outside St Gervais d’Auvergne.

Although of course it’s always the same view, the different weather and lighting conditions make it seem totally different each time I drive by.

Although the snow has all-but-gone around here and even the Puy-de-Dome is bare, the Mont Dore and the Puy de Sancy are still plastered with the white stuff and look quite impressive.

This morning I had a lie-in until about 10:30, but I reckoned I needed it, being awoken by a torrential downpour at about 05:00.

So after a leisurely breakfast (I’m on holiday, remember) I bit the bullet, donned the chemical suit, the gas mask and the rubber gloves and cleaned the fridge. The fridge hadn’t been switched on for a few weeks (firstly as an electricity economy measure and secondly, who needs a fridge in this weather?) and was looking like it hadn’t been switched on for a couple of decades.

After lunch I read a book for a while and then went off to Liz and Terry’s as they had invited me round for the evening, which was nice of them. What was even nicer was never mind the vegan chocolate cake – Liz had baked me a vegan Christmas cake complete with icing. That was ever so nice of her and I am well-impressed.

And to tell you about the weather today, and how perverse it is. All day we have had heavy grey clinging cloud that has cut down once more the electricity I have available. But onn the way home tonight the skies were perfectly clear, thousands of stars, lovely bright conditions.

Why can’t we have this weather in the daytime? It’s about 4 or 5 times now that this has happened while I am in “energy saving” mode due to the overcast conditions since November 26th.

And you just watch tomorrow – as soon as the sun rises over the valley across the way, the clouds will close right in and I’ll be struggling again. It’s really getting on my nerves.

-12

Wednesday 23rd December 2009 – I thought that I would post …

… a pic of the completed stairs on the ground floor. It’ll take my mind off the gruesome weather.

I woke up this morning to that weird golden thing in the sky and not a cloud in sight. So I quickly shinned up onto the roof and onto the roof of the old Luton Transit to brush the snow off the solar panels to take advantage of everything.

But I needn’t have bothered for 10 minutes later the wind changed, a whole heap of cloud came over and blocked the sky. We had 10mm of rain!

And as I type I have the long-range weather forecast up and every day for the next week is totally overcast with rain forecast. Monday and Tuesday we are promised 15 and 16 degrees. They say Centigrade but I bet it’ll be more like Fahrenheit.

So I stayed in and shovelled up tons of rubbish and piled it up elsewhere and I now have a path through the rubble to the stairs. it’s impressive. I also tidied up a few things and sorted out the wood. You can see the door that I bought in the Brico Depot sale. That’s for the front – lots of glass to let in the light. Light is at a premium around here.

At lunchtime Francois came round, with a woman in tow. He was amazed at the progress since he last visited here in September. This woman is renovating and she is interested in recycled materials and Francois had told her about my reccycled plastic slates. She was well-impressed.

This afternoon I started to tidy up the verandah which I use as a kitchen. But my heart wasn’t in it “No surprise there – it’s a cleaning job” … ed – and at 17:00 I called it a day. And then crashed out up here for an hour. All this work has been taking its toll of me.

-6

Tuesday 22nd December 2009 – This weather is getting on my wick

I Woke up this morning to a minor heatwave – in fact it reached 11 degrees outside at one point – there was no snow anywhere and that weird golden thing was in the sky. Of course it didn’t hang about for all that long and it clouded over again.

Meanwhile I cracked on and in wow! whoopie! mode, I’ve finished all of the stairs. I fitted the rails for the final step at the top angle of the stairs down to the ground floor and then scrounged some wood to make the treads. After that it was a mega-clear-up and then I cut down the stringers for this builders’ staircase that I’m going to fit down to the ground.

I’d got it on my temporary workbench to assemble and I quickly learnt to throw away the instructions. It’s all very well following them if there are two of you but when you are on your own you need to think again. I drilled some screw holes in the sides where the treads would be, then laid one stringer flat on the workbench. I “invented” a small trestle of about the stairs’ width and put that over the top and put the other stringer on top. After that I inserted the treads, tacking them in with screws as I was going along, and when I reached the end, clamped it all together with my two large speed clamps.

By now it was dark but I was on a roll so I rigged up a light using the Ryobi flourescent light, and then turned the stair assembly over onto the other side, made sure the treads were correctly positioned, and then screwed them from that side. I turned it back over, tightened up the screws that I’d tacked in place, released the speed clamps, and that was that.

It took just 15 minutes, a spirit level, the drill with the drill bit, the drill with the screwdriver bit, a handful of screws and some packing pieces, and the stairs were installed.

And now I’ve knocked off work for the festive season.

It was pouring down with rain this evening but at about 21:00 it all went quiet. When I went downstairs for tea I discovered the reason. The temperature had dropped to 2 degrees and it was snowing like hell!

And talking of snowing, I’ve ordered Caliburn’s Christmas present and I’m spending more money on him that I spent on me! One new road-going tyre and two Michelin Alpine snow tyres. I’ll need them in this weather. I just hope that the weather holds off enough for me to get to Montlucon to have them fitted.

-2

Monday 21st December 2009 – Temperature inversion is a wonderful thing

When I got back from the Anglo-French meeting tonight, the warmest place was … errr … outside. 7.5 degrees, a whopping 2 degrees warmer than in the verandah, a massive 7 degrees warmer than in the kitchen, and 3 degrees warmer than in my attic.

Yes, we’ve had a sudden thaw. My attention was drawn to it at about 13:00 when I heard a noise that sounded like a railway train passing overhead. I turned round and saw a huge sheet of snow slide off the roof. So I went outside, and it was WARM – the first time it’s been warm for over a week. I was humming and hawing about going out tonight but the thaw decided it – off to the shops before they close and stock up on things that I might need if I get snowed in again.But as things stand I am more likely to sink into the swamp that has been created outside.

And today is the first day in about 100 years that we haven’t had any precipitation. I suppose that that is something to celebrate. But that is truly astonishing for with the temperature inversion we have heavy grey clouds and so sod all solar energy.

Mind you, just now there isn’t a cloud in the sky and it’s totally clear. But of course that’s because it’s night-time. It won’t be like this in the daylight, that’s for certain. I’m convinced that the sun is never going to shine again.

-3

Sunday 20th December 2009 – Wahey!!!!

Yes, the Stairway to Heaven is finished!

Well, it isn’t actually because with not going to Montlucon this weekend I didn’t buy the wood that I need to make the treads. So I’m using scraps of wood right now and I’ll replace the treads in due course. Krys kindly sent me a message – she’d seen the scraps of wood that I’m using for treads and she was worried that they weren’t strong enough and concerned for my safety in case I fell through them. I thought that that was quite sweet. Most readers of this blog would pay good money to watch me crash through a tread and hurtle 6 metres to my doom.

I dunno why it is but this morning with no alarm clock (it’s Sunday) I managed to wake up earlier than I normally do when I want to have an early start. And dramatically, while I was drinking my coffee and watching the thermometer I noticed the temperature rise by about 1.5 degrees. It’s stayed a little warmer all day, and it’s now above freezing for the first time for a week. Which is just as well. I’ve been wandering around in about 10 different layers of clothes – woolly jumpers, fleeces, body warmers and the like. I feel like a cross between Nanook of the North and Eskimo Nell.

And that reminds me – I did hear of a story about the Brighton “Gay Pride” rally one Easter a few years ago, when it actually snowed!. Lee “I’m a Potty-mouth” Prostitute was taking part in the parade dressed in his fairy boots and about 10 jumpers to keep out the cold. He bumped into Rick Hollyoaks, and they discussed Potty-mouth’s attire.
“I bet you feel like Nanook of the North” said Hollyoaks.
“Well as a matter of fact I do” replied Potty-mouth. “But I’ve no idea how I’m going to find him in this crowd!”

So I dug Caliburn out of a snowdrift and drove him up and down the lane to free off the road. And then the snow hurtled down again. Liz rang up and said that they were having a tempest out there and she couldn’t get to this carol-singing, and I didn’t think I could either. It was diabolical. You can get an idea of what the weather was like.

And that was how come I finished the Stairway to Heaven. It was dark when it was all complete so I’ll post a pic in due course.

It’s still warming up and I’ve already taken some layers off. I might even turn off the fire if it carries on.

Tomorrow I’ll be starting the stairs on the ground floor. This is looking quite optimistic.

-2

EPIC HALL

The Poisoned Pen (or Poisoned Chalice, more like) – or my relentless struggle against reality