Thursday 18th May 2017 – TODAY WAS ANOTHER …

… day when I didn’t do anything at all and I’ll have to get to grips with things pretty soon.

I’d had a late night what with one thing and another and I’d been on my travels too. I don’t remember very much about it now but it concerned a meal that I was cooking – something similar to the one that I made the other day.

Although I was awake early, it was the alarm at 07:00 that drove me out of bed. And there wasn’t really much incentive to leave my stinking pit either, with the rain teeming down outside.

Nevertheless, I had to brave the elements to go down and pick up my baguette. And despite my vow of yesterday to come home the scenic way, there was no chance of that in the driving rain. It also put paid to any idea that I might have had for going for a walk.

Instead, I did a little more tidying up in here and spent the rest of the day sorting out a pile of files on the computer that I had resurrected the other day. And there are still hundreds of files that need removing too – duplicates that have been stored in all kinds of places on the hard drive that somehow have escaped the filing system that I installed all those years ago.

Once I’ve done all of that, I can back it up. That’s another one of my long-term projects once I buy a desk and set up a little office in the bedroom. In fact, this place is taking on much of the configuration of how I had my apartment in the Avenue d’Exposition in Brussels, which I suppose isn’t very much of a surprise.

All of this was far too much effort for me and at about 18:00 I had a crash-out for half an hour or so.

Talking of tea last night inspired me to do something different. I fried up some onions and garlic in one of the saucepans. Once it was looking good, I added some bulghour, a tin of lentils and a tin of mixed vegetables and some curry powder to taste.

And here’s the thing. I’d bought a little cheap electric slow cooker ages ago and I’d never used it. But I could see the advantages of it which is why I brought it with me. I tipped all of the curry into it and let it simmer away. That way, I had the induction ring empty so I could cook a pan of rice.

There was enough curry made for three meals so two went into the fridge in the vacuum jars that I have, and the other one went down really nicely. And pudding was fruit salad with strawberry sorbet.

So it’s an early night tonight and I hope that I can have another good sleep. Tomorrow I’m measuring up for curtains ready for shopping on Saturday. But on Monday I’m going to have to start making an effort to do something, or my life will simply ebb away.

Wednesday 17th May 2017 – TODAY HAS BEEN ONE …

… of those days where, rather like the mathematician named Hall, I accomplished three-fifths of five-eights of … errr … nothing.

It all started to go wrong during the night – I kept on waking up, tossing and turning. And I’ve no idea why because the bed is quite comfortable and I’m very warm in there – or else that’s it and I’m too warm, but that’s not very likely now.

It was disturbed to such an extent that I was up and about by 06:30 and having breakfast when the alarm went off at 07:00. This is happening more and more often and it’s not like me at all in the past.

Apart from going down to the old town for my baguette (and coming back via the city walls) I’ve spent most of the day on the sofa. I can allow myself the odd day here and there to do this – after all, I am retired.

Liz and I had a chat on the internet, and I made a phone call. And I also did some tidying up. But most of the day was spent checking over the contents of an old computer that I’ve managed to fire up. 12.3GB of duplicate files on there, so I’ve been weeding them out. And the program that I use, although noted for its efficacy, is not noted for its rapidity. It also has a tendency to eat up all of the processing capacity of the machine so it very slowly grinds to a halt. So you have to switch off and start again.

In fact, I had such an exciting, stressful, exhausting day that I crashed out for half an hour too. Just for a change.

Not a day for going outside, because it started to pour down with rain this afternoon and it’s kept it up ever since. So it’s a good job that I had things indoors to amuse me. There haven’t been too many wet days since I’ve been here, have there?

Tea was more stuff out of the European Tinned Food Mountain. I’ve been slowly demolishing it for a couple of weeks and it doesn’t look any different. But one day it will all be gone – whenever that might be. If I had an oven, or some different pans that would work on the induction hob, I could perhaps be more adventurous. But that will come, one day or another.

And so will tomorrow, because I’m done for today. If the weather is better I might even go for a walk, but I’m not holding my breath.

Tuesday 16th May 2017 – TONIGHT’S TEA …

… was bangers, beans and baked potatoes. The rest of the sausages and the left-over half-tin of beans from Saturday night, and some potatoes from the pile that I bought the other week. A bit of pepper on the beans and some vegan margarine on the potatoes, and it was a meal fit for a King.

Last night I was tossing and turning again and I really don’t know why, and I was up long before the alarm went off.But I had a busy morning, even if it doesn’t seem that I accomplished much.

It was washday today and by that, I started off with me – a nice, long, hot shower and a shave, followed by some delicate clothing that needed hand-washing and which I’d been putting off for quite some time.

Once that was out of the way, I attacked all of the rest of the crockery and cutlery that I had brought from the Auvergne, which I had taken there from Brussels after I had sold Expo. And there were tons of it too. All of the cutlery I left soaking in boiling water for several hours to kill whatever might have been lurking on them.

As for the saucepans, they were almost new so I brought them with me (and two of them work on the induction hob too) so they were steam-cleaned – by the simple expedient of jamming the lids on and weighting them down while some water boiled away inside. Any germs that might have been loitering within them have certainly had their chips now.

This afternoon I had to go back down to the bank, so I took the final load of paper out to put in the recycling as I passed by. And I encountered the bus driver who was taking a short break at a bus stop.We had a chat and she filled me in about the bus service around the town. It’s about 20 minutes from here to the railway station and it costs €1:00 per trip. That will suit me just fine.

And as I was passing the library, with 10 minutes to spare (yes, there are still libraries in Mainland Europe) I popped in and joined. Cost me €10:00 but it’s an unlimited supply of books, CDs and DVDs as well as all kinds of exhibitions and debates.

The Bank hasn’t made much progress in transferring my accounts. And the girl whom I saw asked me for lots of information that I didn’t have (shame that she hadn’t asked me last time to bring it with me today) so this is going to grind on and on. And the amount of paper (in a paperless office) that she printed off for me to sign must run into a respectable forest.

It was hot on the way back so I treated myself to a sorbet – and nice it was too. And when I arrived, I crashed out for a while, to be awoken by Ingrid who wanted a chat. Always nice to talk to friends of course.

And Hannah and Liz chatted to me on the internet too after tea. That was nice too. Hannah has almost finished her course in Madrid now – hasn’t time flown by? She’ll be hitting the rails for a few weeks before flying back to Canada, and she might pass by here.

So now, it’s an early night again. I’ll need to choose another DVD to take with me.

Monday 15th May 2017 – BY ‘ECK!

That was a gorgeous tea!

We started off with some boiling water with turmeric and some drops of lemon juice. And then heaved in a cup of rice.

While that was doing, I chopped up a couple of segments of garlic.

When the rice was cooked, I tipped it into the sieve and rinsed it through with some cold water. Then I added a knob of soya margarine (Alpro as it happens) into the pan and melted it. When it was up to temperature, I heaved in the garlic and the rest of the tinned mushrooms that I hadn’t used yesterday on my pizza. And then some curry powder to taste.

Once that was all frying away nicely, I tipped into the pot a small tin of mixed peas and carrots – water and all – from the European Tinned Food Mountain and left it there to simmer. And when it was well away, I added two teaspoons full of gravy browning. Meantime, the rice was rinsed with boiling water from the kettle, put on a plate (yes, a plate! I’m stopping being uncouth and eating out of saucepans!) and stuck in the microwave.

And here you are – one quick mushroom curry with rice. And it was gorgeous.

“But why use a saucepan for frying?” I hear you ask. Well, that’s because Bane of Britain has done it again. The little portable halogen hob that I am using (and with which i’m almost as impressed as with my galvanised steel dustbin, Rhys) isn’t a halogen hob at all but an induction hob. Apparently you need special pans for it and most of the new ones that I bought the other week aren’t suitable and won’t work with it.

So yet more expense! Anyone want a brand-new wok, frying pan and saucepan? Never been used!

Last night I had a good night’s sleep. Right up to the alarm which was nice. And I’d been off on my travels too. I was preparing the accounts for a well-known media personality (and I’ve forgotten who it was now). He had two cars, both of which were mark 3 Cortinas – one grey and one purple – and I had to figure out a way of working them into the accounts so that the Tax authorities would agree to the expenditure. There was something about having to change over the ownership of the two vehicles at precisely midnight at the end of the accounting year so that there would be a smooth, seamless change. Anyway, I took the purple one for a drive and slid off the road into a stream somewhere. I could lift up the front end of the vehicle and swivel it round but I was still unable to move it so I needed to seek help – which was something that, for some reason or other, I was very reluctant to do.

After breakfast, I had a good relax for a while and then set to and moved the European Cardboard Mountain down to Caliburn. It took me about 10 trips to move it all downstairs and I was pretty exhausted afterwards. I had a spectator too – my mate from next door – so I went over and gave him a stroke. His name is Gribouille apparently and he’s either 4 or 5 – hi mummy couldn’t remember. We had quite a chat and I told his owner that if ever she needed a babysitter for him when she goes away, I would be the first to volunteer.

Back here I had a coffee and put my feet up until lunchtime – it had taken a lot out of me. Cardboard is heavier than you might think.

I know that I said that I would go to the dechetterie this afternoon, but I decided against it. No point in making a special journey out when I have to go out shopping on Saturday, if not before. It can wait until then.

And so instead I sorted out all of the rest of the rubbish, put the waste in the communal bin downstairs and all of the recycling into the recycling bins across the road. While I was there, I brought up the coolbox from Caliburn and put the contents in the fridge. I’ll wash the coolbox tomorrow.

Talking of washing, I washed one load of china that had come with me from the Auvergne. There’s quite a bit to do and I’m having logistic issues until I can buy a dresser. So it’s “bit by bit”. And then some more tidying up. Piles more stuff for the bin but I’ve also found some medical receipts for which I can enter a claim.

My post has caught up with me too, so there was a mountain of that to go through. But it looks as if I’ve been told the wrong address for the apartment, judging by the postman’s scrawl on the envelopes. I’ll need to check with him when I see him and confirm it.

So I’ve had tea, so it’s a quiet rest and read a book for a while before another early night. I have the Bank Revisited tomorrow.

Sunday 14th May 2017 – THIS NEW MICROWAVE THING …

… has its uses, and I’m sure that I’ll be able to make the most of them once I work them out.

A cooked a pizza today using the grill function as well as the microwave and while it wasn’t all that good, it was better than some that I’ve had. The grill bit seemed to do its stuff but the base wasn’t cooked properly. What i’ll have to try to do next time is to microwave it first, and then give it 5 minutes under the grill and see what that does. It’ll be a case of trial and error, by which time I’ll probably have a real oven.

Seeing as how it was Sunday and a lie-in, what was I doing up and about at 06:15? The answer to that is the reason that any man of my age will understand. And I wasn’t up long either. Back in bed where I slept right through until 08:30.

And that was nice for a change, in my comfortable bed. And I didn’t fall asleep watching a film either last night because the battery went flat in the laptop while I was in bed. And I couldn’t be bothered to haul myself out of bed to find the charger.

Nevertheless, I did manage to go out and about during the night. I was in some kind of house with a couple of other people, including someone – a girl – whom I knew very well (and I just can’t think who it was now) and we were visited by some kind of loud-mouthed man who insisted on trying to force his opinions on us. It all became rather heated and in the end we had to use force to evict him from the premises. We thought that that would be that but I’d forgotten that there was an entrance down the side of the house and I had to dash quickly across the house to barricade the door just as he and another woman were trying to gain entrance.
A little later I was back in my own house – the one in the Auvergne to be precise although it wasn’t, if you know what I mean – and there had been some issue with the electricity. The electricity had been connected since the Friday and my consumption had been extremely negligible, which is hardly surprising seeing as I was using solar power and wind turbines. However wind turbines and solar panels weren’t authorised and everyone had to have a mains connection. These people came to visit me to inspect my premises and they were surprised by the low consumption of energy but I explained that I was quite happy to live without it and didn’t need it – that was the reason. So after much discussion they left the premises. But just as they left, I forgot myself and switched on a light – and I reckoned that they would be bound to notice that. As an aside, I wasn’t on my own here in the house but I had a girl with me – a girl whom, if I am not mistaken, is making her debut in my nocturnal ramblings so hello to you, Sue G.

After breakfast I mooched around for quite a while. I was planning to go out to the football but sometime during the night I must have pulled a muscle in my leg and I couldn’t walk very far.

But the weather cleared up later on in the afternoon. The sun disappeared, the clouds disappeared and we had a beautiful blue sky. Despite the aches in my leg, I decided that I ought to go outside for a walk after all. It would do me good.

And this is the view from where I sometimes eat my lunch – looking along the coast towards Donville les Bains. I wasn’t the only one enjoying the weather either because there was a small family sitting down there among the rocks.

Further along the cliffs there was a really good view of the building where my apartment is.

There are two entrances to the building, one nearest the cliffs and hidden by the bush and the second, nearest the road is the door to my half of the building. My apartment is on the first floor at the back.

But you can see how close we are to the cliffs and the sea, can’t you?

There’s a public footpath along the top of the cliff right out to the headland down there. It’s about half a mile down there and so regardless of the pain in my leg I decided to set out for a walk.

As you know, I have a thing about lighthouses and it’s nice to think that I’m living within a short stroll of one such. I’ll have to go out one night and see if it actually works.

In the past, you’ve seen quite a few photographs of the Ile de Chausey away in the distance at the entrance of the Baie de Mont St Michel.

But here on the edge of the cliff, the view here is even more impressive. And this is just the normal camera lens,
not the telephoto lens. That gives you an idea of how high up we are just here on the cliffs.

I imagine that the marker buoy here is to warn shipping of the rocks here. Like I said, i’ll have to go out at night and see what is lit up.

But while we’re on the subject of good views and height, there was a very good view of this motor boat out there in the distance. But it wasn’t that that caught my eye.

Right out there in the far distance you can see land on the horizon. That is actually the island of Jersey, and it’s all of 60 kilometres – 35 miles – away. That’s the kind of view that we were having today. The conditions were perfect.

As I said – conditions were perfect.

Away over there in the distance is the town of Bricqueville sur Mer where I stayed for a couple of weeks a while ago. Its church is famous for its magnificent spire and you can clearly see that in the distance on the top of the ridge in the background.

You can also see the oyster beds there in the bay.

This area was heavily fortified by the Germans in World War II. The fortifications of the Atlantic Wall extended down as far as here and they were so well-built that they have resisted all attempts to remove them.

There are several gun emplacements here on the cliffs overlooking the entrance to the bay and you can see what happened when they tried to dynamite one of them.

In fact they tried to dynamite a couple of them and merely succeeded in scattering lumps of concrete about the place. What they could move easily, they moved it. But the remainder, they just left here and incorporated them into a public garden.

After all of that, they gave up trying to remove all of the rest of them.

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that I have something of an issue with bad and inconsiderate parking.

Here’s a beautiful example of an old XK Jag that isn’t even parked, it’s abandoned, right acrossthe entrance to the lighthouse and in the zone that should be kept clear for the fire brigade.

But as we know, Parisians consider that laws in the Provinces don’t apply to them as they are some kind of superior being.

Round the corner of the headland and overlooking the Baie de Mont St Michel. Across there is the town of Jullouville where I spent a couple of days immediately after returning from Leuven, with its chateau d’eauup there at the back of town.

In the foreground is a marker light for the entrance to the harbour here in Granville. I would imagine that if anything around here is going to be illuminated at night, then that light would be the one.

A little bit further around along the coast is the town of Carolles and the seaside resort of Carolles-Plage.

If you cast your mind back a few weeks, we went for a walk one morning all along the beach from Jullouville to the headland at Carolles-Plage and stopped for a coffee.

And that over there to the right across the bay, that’s Brittany.

Around the headland, I doubled back on my route, but of course on the other – south – side.

Here we have not only a splendid view of the lower town and the edge of the harbour here, but also an excellent view of the fortifications of the old medieval city walls.

The church that is over there is the one that I can see from my living room window and slightly to the left of centre is that beautiful turretted building that we saw from close up the other day.

Now who’s he when he’s at home – if he ever is?

Ahh yes, Georges Pleville le Pelley. Born in Granville in 1726 and died in Paris in 1805. His claim to fame is that apart from many high offices that he held later in life (such as Governor of the Port of Marseille) he was a corsair who preyed on the British during many of the wars of the 18th Century.

Not only that, he’s one of those people conveniently forgotten by the uSA without whom the USA would never have had its independence from Britain. The British imposed a naval blockade on the 13 States during the War of Independence,
and this cut them off from a supply of all manufactured goods which they needed to sustain the war. The French navy engaged the British blockade ships on countless occasions, allowing blockade runners carrying munitions to slip into American harbours. Pleville le Pelley was one of the most intrepid of these blockade runners.

The Americans have completely forgotten about the huge debt that they owe to the French for safeguarding their borders during their fight for independence.

From here, I went back home again. I have some strawberry sorbet in the freezer, just the thing for a very warm Spring evening. And now it is pizza time. So I’ll attack the aforementioned and leave you to read this … errr … 1720 words.

And serve you all right too!

Saturday 13th May 2017 – I’M DESPERATELY DISAPPOINTED …

… about my hi-fi. 6 years in a cardboard box in a very damp and dusty environment hasn’t done it any good at all.

It’s a really expensive system too – cost me a small fortune back in the 1980s. All hi-quality Marantz stuff too. I connected it all up this afternoon and it’s crackling and popping and not doing too much in the way of sound.

I’m not sure what I can do about it. I’ll try to find some electrical contact cleaner to give everything a good going-over but I’m not too optimistic about this at all.

In other bad news, the new frying pan and small wok that I bought don’t seem to make sufficient contact on my halogen hob. It won’t detect them and so it won’t fire up. And I’m dismayed about that too.

Another thing is that the thing that I bought at IKEA to hang my curtains is the wrong thing and i’ll have to take it back.

But it’s not all bad news.

I’ve had a very productive – and successful – day. For a start, I’ve arranged for Caliburn’s Controle Technique for the end of the month.

And I enquired about a garage to service Caliburn and prepare him for his test. He told me of a place that he knew and could recommend so round there I went. I mentioned the little problem that I have with the front end and before I’d even finished describing it, he told me exactly what it was. Anyway, he’s booked in there and we’ll see if the garage proprietor can walk the walk as well as he can talk the talk.

On the way back into town, I noticed a shop that sells factory-reject and shop-soiled electrical equipment. And here I hit the jackpot. They had a new combined microwave/grill oven thing with no box and a missing grill support (but I can invent one of those anyway) for just €49:00 instead of €99:00 which it would have been had it been perfect. It didn’t take me many seconds to have it in the back of Caliburn.

It was a busy day shopping too. I now have a telephone so I might even be able receive calls if I’m not careful. As well as that, I have a nice oilcloth on top of my new table. A red strawberry and cherry design and it looks quite nice.

And while I was there I found exactly what I need for the curtains, and about a quarter of the price too. So I’ll have to measure up now and go back there next week for the stuff that I need.

still no vegan cheese in the Bio shop, but they did have vegan sausages and so for tea tonight I had a welcome variation to my diet. No tinned stuff and pasta today but microwaved potatoes, baked beans and vegan sausages. It certainly was nice too and thanks to Alison for buying me the beans when she went to the UK last winter.

And the carpet is down too. I fetched it up from Caliburn this evening and now there’s nothing left from IKEA in there (apart from the curtain rail that I intend to take back). I assembled the two chairs and finished off the big cupboard by the door too. So on Monday I can take all of the cardboard downstairs to Caliburn and take it to the dechetterie. And on the way back I can buy what I need for the curtains.

So I might have an early night tonight. It was a late night yet again last night what with one thing and another, but I did have a decent sleep – all the way right through until the alarm went off.

And tomorrow, it’s Sunday and there’s no alarm, so I might even have a lie-in just for a change.

Friday 12th May 2017 – ONCE MORE …

… I’m stuck on the sofa unable to move.

Today has been another one of those days where I’ve worked my whatsits off.

as I mentioned last night, I had my shower and then ended up in my beautiful, comfortable, exciting bed with all of my nice, clean, new bedding. And it was so nice to be in there too – so how do you explain the 02:15 awakening and the fact that I couldn’t go back to sleep again for what seemed like hours?

Nevertheless, I had to be up and about something-like as the telephone man was due to call “sometime between 08:00 and 09:00”. And sure enough, at 08:37 (I checked the time) he turned up at the door.

We had a little difficulty with something that didn’t work quite right and it took a while to resolve the issue. But by 10:30 I had the internet and, just as soon as I can buy a telephone, I’ll have a telephone line too.

That was the cue to nip out rather smartish- like and buy a baguette before they all sold out. And then the work began. Almost everything (and certainly everything big) from IKEA came out of Caliburn and is now upstairs in the apartment. It took me quite a few trips to do it but there we are.

having done all of that I set to work to build the big cupboard that will be facing the front door. The purpose of this is to create a little alcove where one can take off one’s wet coat and shoes without traipsing all kinds of muck through the place. “Not like you!” I hear you say, but I have changed … "and about time too" – ed.

The unit wasn’t complicated to assemble, but it took a lot of effort because it’s 2m35 tall, so I’m glad that I brought my steps with me. And the mirrored doors that I have chosen – they were flaming heavy too and I had to invent a contraption to jack them up to the required height – without any of the D-i-Y aids that I would have had in the Auvergne too.

But the heavy doors – now here’s the rub. I want the unit to be free-standing, side-on to the wall and facing the front door (eventually there will be a dresser back-to-back with it) but the doors are so heavy that when they are open, they tilt the unit forwards and over. That’s clearly no good.

At the moment I have it weighted down with a load of stuff that is yet to be tidied away, but it seems that tomorrow I’ll have to buy some drill bits and wall anchors.

That took me until 14:00 anyway and despite the fact that it’s not quite finished, I called it a morning and made lunch.

After lunch, I attacked the other unit. That’s a posh shelving unit like the other one that I assembled yesterday but this has some drawers and glass doors to display the family heirlooms. That one was flaming complicated with all kinds of shenanigans but it’s all done now and it really does look quite impressive – just what I wanted.

But I was too tired to finish off the big unit, to put the stuff in the posh unit or to assemble the other two chairs that I brought up. Aching everywhere because some of this stuff that I carried upstairs was flaming heavy.

So tomorrow I’ll finish it off and then go and do some shopping.

But let’s hope that I have a better night tonight. After all, I didn’t pay all of this money for nothing, did I?

Thursday 11th May 2017 – I ENDED UP …

… not going to bed – or to sofa – very early at all. In fact, just as I was about to retire someone came on line and we ended up having a very long chat about all kinds of things – a chat that went on for a couple of hours. It was after 12:00 by the time that I retired, and that’s not something that’s happening too often these days as you know.

Nevertheless, I was awake quite early – long before the alarm – but it took me quite a while to summon up the energy to leave my stinking pit. It wasn’t easy, I promise you. and it took me ages to pluck up the courage to go down to the depot de pain for my baguette.

But once I was awake, I was off. And I’ve had another hard-working day today too. I now have two rather large bookcases, ready to bring some more books back from the Auvergne next time I’m there, whenever that might be, and I also now have another quite posh set of shelves.

And I bet that my LPs never ever thought that they would ever see the light of day again, but there they are on the shelves along with the DVDs and CDs that I brought with me (not all of them by a long way) and the Hi-Fi – first time that the Hi-Fi and the LPs, and the DVD and Video players, have seen the light of day since 2011 and how I have missed them … "you’ll need to improve your aim" – ed.

Although that might not sound like too much, what took the time was filling the shelves and rearranging everything. That was quite a work of art and now it can truly be said that the floor is quite reasonably tidy for me.

But it wasn’t like that at one point, because I was at a certain moment up to my knees in cardboard boxes. And I’m not joking either. But now, all of the cardboard has been gathered up from everywhere and there’s a big pile right by the side of the sofa. When the rest of the stuff is brought out of Caliburn (which might be tomorrow – you never know) I can move the empty cardboard down into Caliburn and head off to the dechetterie.

Rosemary rang me up later this afternoon for a chat – all of … errr … 1 hour and 11 minutes. I like talking to Rosemary and it’s good to talk to her, especially when we are putting the world to rights. And it seems to need it just now, doesn’t it?

So now, I’m going to have a shower. And there’s a good reason for this – namely that tonight I can finally go to sleep on my new bed. All new bedding, quilts and pillows too, and you have no idea just how much I’ve been looking forward to this. That’s why I’m going to pretty myself up and smell properly for a change.

It’s a shame to ruin the new bed, isn’t it?

Wednesday 10th May 2017 – I’M WHACKED YET AGAIN …

… but at least I have more furniture and the place is a little more tidy.

Once again, I fell asleep watching my film. And once again I was off on my travels – with a welcome return of Zero, who has accompanied me on many of my nocturnal voyages in the past. I was in Stoke on Trent at the house of someone I once knew, and it was a total mess with rubbish and filth absolutely everywhere – the kind of conditions in which not even I could live, and that’s saying something. I’d been looking after Zero and after she had gone to bed I’d washed my socks and undies in the sink and left them on the draining board to dry. But then the couple came back and the woman expressed surprise, if not anger, at seeing my washing there. I did explain that I didn’t expect them back until long after I had awoken, but that cut no ice. So then it was a case of looking for the bread. But in every cupboard that I opened, it was full of cake – a kind of yellowy raisin cake – and as you opened a cupboard door, the action caused a pile of cake to fall out on the floor, so they just picked it up off the disgusting floor and put it back.

This morning I was awake long before the alarm went off and breakfast was yet again early. I had a good relax but at 08:30 nipped out to the depot de pain to pick up my baguette.

And so to work.

It took three trips to bring up the shelving for the kitchen. And much longer than I expected to assemble it. But what took even longer was to fill it with everything. I never realised just how much tinned food I had. It’s going to take me a year to eat all of it. But the pile of stuff that you saw on the floor nearest the camera in the photo from a couple of weeks ago – that is no more. It’s all on the shelves and there’s room to move about.

After lunch I attacked the kitchen table. That was an expensive piece of kit and weighs a ton. I had to open all of the packets and bring it up bit by bit. It took ages to assemble and I needed a crane to move it, but it’s a really good size (160×70 with two drop-down leaves) and has 6 drawers built in. As you know, storage is a big issue here.

It needs an oilcloth on it but that’s for Saturday when I’m out and about. In the meantime it is covered by the plastic sheet from off the mattress. That should protect it.

And that’s not all either. There was still time before knocking off to assemble a couple of chairs. I’ve bought four to go with my table and there are two now assembled – one in the kitchen area and the other in the bedroom for now.

Talking of the bedroom, I’m having another night on the sofa. I found a label for the mattress and this told me that the waiting period for sleeping on it is 72 hours. I want it to be the best possible, so another day won’t hurt. But I am looking forward to sleeping on it.

But as for sleeping, I did have a little … errr … relax after I finished the table and before I attacked the chairs.

With the kitchen table I’ve arranged it so that it’s by the sink and I can use it as a worktop. It was nice to have a place where I could properly fix a meal.

So now it’s an early night yet again. And hope that I might be able to watch a film all the way through.

Tuesday 9th May 2017 – BLIMEY!

These knives that I bought at IKEA yesterday aren’t half sharp. I cut myself three times today making lunch – once with the big bread knife slicing open the baguette and twice with the little one slicing my tomato. They are so sharp that in fact you don’t feel yourself being cut.

But you certainly feel it afterwards.

As seems to be the usual situation here, I fell asleep in the middle of the film. And it was still dark when I awoke. I’d been on my travels too, driving a vehicle somewhere and in doing a three-point turn in someone’s draiveway I’d bumped his vehicle. He was an old naggy guy and his wife was an old naggy woman too. his vehicle was a rusty wreck but I couldn’t argue my way out of any liability and so we settled by my paying him £20:00. And it was then once I’d given him the cash that he told me that his vehicle had been bumped in exactly the same place a week ago and that the insurance company was to pay him for the damage.

After an early breakfast and having had a little relax, I attacked the bed. And it’s now finished -and when the mattress has finished expanding (tomorrow evening, I reckon) I can go to sleep on it.

But it took me all day to do the bed instead of the hour or so that I was hoping, because it was dismantled into all kinds of fiddly little bits and pieces that took ages to find, ages to sort out and ages to fix. And I ended up with a bad back too so I had to go and sit down for an hour or two in between.

Not only that, I had to go out for my bank appointment at 13:30 seeing as how it was arranged for 14:00. And i’ve found a short cut down into town too so it didn’t take me long to get there.

The appointment dragged on and on though – well more than 90 minutes and I had to send out for some water. I could drop off my insurance certificate on the estate agents and then walk back up the hill. It was so hot that I had to stop for a breather on the way up, and it was a good job that I had bought a bottle of water.

So now the bed’s finished, and tomorrow night I’ll be sleeping on it. So it’s the sofa again tonight.

But before I go, I’ll just mention the baguette. You might recall me moaning about it the other day – the bread from the depot de pain at the newsagent’s. It seems that I picked up the wrong baguette there.They do have the standard ones, and at a more-democratic €0:90 too. I just didn’t see them the other day.

So now I know.

Monday 8th May 2017 – SO THAT’S ME …

… selling my body on the streets of Granville from now on, after what I spent in the IKEA in Caen today.

About a third of what I need as well, so it’s going to be an ongoing process. But what I have already bought will make a huge difference, once I summon up the effort to unload it all out of Caliburn.

It goes without saying that I fell asleep mid-film last night. And I was off on my travels, ending up at a hotel where I was to be staying. I had a car full of stuff and told the people not to worry – I’ll just dump it all in the room that I usually have, totally overlooking the fact that it was still only 07:00 and there were probably people still asleep there, never mind the room being prepared and ready.

Back here though, I was wide awake at 06:30 and up and about breakfasting by about 07:15. I managed my shower too – which was really nice – and then I was all outside ready for Liz who was turning up at 08:30.

Driving through the pea-souper, we were at the IKEA at Caen just after 10:00 and went to the café for a coffee to gather our wits before launching the attack.

Just by way of a change, I was quite disorganised – although that’s more the fact that I’ve never done this kind of shopping in IKEA before. In fact, it took up until 14:30 to make the first pass for all of the bits and pieces.

But then I was made aware of this system whereby for just €25 extra, you can go from department to department, simply registering your requirements with the information desk there, paying at the express checkout,and then waiting for about 90 minutes for them to pick it up, load it onto the trolleys and push it out for you.

In other words, the first pass took about 4 hours. The second pass took less than an hour and then the 90-minute wait. And I had three big trolley-loads of stuff too.

There’s a service whereby they will send someone to help you load your car too, so while we were waiting, we started to load Caliburn ourselves. And we had him loaded up and gone before anyone came – that’s how efficient we were.

Back here, we just unloaded the essential and heavy items between us, and a very friendly passer-by grabbed hold of one end of the bed to help us upstairs too, which was very nice and neighbourly.

So now I’m completely exhausted. Too tired to make tea. I’d be going to bed too but the mattress has to wait 48 hours to uncurl itself before it’s possible to sleep on it.

And so it’s the sofa for another two nights anyway. And I’m not going to hang about.

Sunday 7th May 2017 – I LIKE …

… my neighbour very much.

I was out and about fairly early to go and fetch some bread and here he was, sitting on the windowsill of one of the ground floor apartments here.

He was extremely friendly and enjoyed a really good stroke. And so did I too. It looks as if I might have one friend here at least.

As I predicted, I fell asleep in the middle of my film but managed somehow to wake up and turn off the computer before going back to sleep. And then I was off on my travels again. I don’t remember too much about it except that I was in an area similar to the South-West USA with rolling hills and valleys. I had to travel over these ridges and valleys and my route was taking me deeper and deeper into Chiracahua Apache territory during the period when this would have been an automatic sentence of death. And, ofcourse, the farther and farther I progressed, the more tense I became. Hardly surprising that I awoke in a cold sweat.

But it was a good sleep all the same and even though it was a Sunday and there was no alarm, it was still 06:30 when I awoke and 07:00 when I was breakfasting.

At about 08:30 I headed off out to pick up some bread, and having said “hello” to my friend, I walked over to the cliff edge to see what I could see.

The answer was “not very much”. There was one of those early morning mists for which this area is quite famous, rolling in off the sea. But at least you have an idea of what the view is going to be like from the side of my building when the weather clears.

Just for a change, instead of going down by the road or going through the old town, I took the footpath along the coastal path instead.

And from here there’s an excellent view of the barracks complex where I live. Unfortunately that’s not my building – mine’s behind there with the view of the sea all blocked off which is a shame. But then, I can’t complain after all of the ruins that I have seen

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that bad parking is a recurring theme on these pages. And here’s another example.

British of course, as you might expect, and an old wreck too, but the driver still wants to be extremely selfish and occupy two parking spaces in what is a very restricted and difficult area to find a parking place in the old town.

Like I said, there are times when I am ashamed to be British when I see my fellow countrymen behaving like this. No wonder everyone in Europe hates the Brits.

As you walk around the corner of the coastal path underneath the city walls, this spectacular view suddenly appears at your feet. On the left-hand edge of the photo we have the casino, and moving clockwise round, a little bit of beach, then the healh spa place where people go to recover from injuries and illnesses, and then the red and cream building is a hotel.

You can understand why the French military engineers chose this site up here for the building of a walled city, with a cliff like this to climb up

The view farther round the cliff would normally be just as impressive, but today as you saw earlier, there is this rolling mist coming in off the sea.

But at least just here, I’m on the top of the stairs – there are about 100 of them that go down to the car park that we saw earlier, and the boulangerie is just across the road from there behind the hotel.

That particular boulangerie might sell the best baguettes but the rest of the bread is rubbish. Cremated bread seems to be the order of things round here, and my boule was a good example. It might always be that they think that I’m a god – hence the burnt offering.

I came back up the road rather than up the steps – I didn’t feel up to that.

This involved following the city walls on the south side and there are some very interesting things to see along here. You’ve seen the drawbridge the other day, but this building just here is even more exciting and what wouldn’t I give to have an apartment in there?

I have a thing about turrets as you know.

Back here I had a leisurely morning not doing too much (after all, it is Sunday) but we had a change of plan at lunch time. I had bought a folding chair the other day and seeing as how it was a sunny, still day today, I made my butties and went to sit outside in the sun.

I had a good book and a bottle of pop, and I stayed out there for almost two hours enjoying the weather.

This afternoon I went a-measuring. I’m off tomorrow to buy some furniture and so I need to know the dimensions of what I need. It’s not a very big apartment here and things are a little tight so it’s a case of making sure that i’m not buying anything too big to fit where I want it.

I forgot to have my shower this morning, what with one thing and another, so I’ll have to do that before I go out. it’s going to be an early start as I have a long way to go.

And that’s a cue for an early night too, isn’t it?

Saturday 6th May 2017 – THIS SOFA …

… isn’t all that bad to sleep on. It’s slightly too short so I have to curl up a little and my neck aches slightly if I’m not in a good position, but I’ve slept in far worse places far more uncomfortably than this. It’ll do fine for a few days, and again whenever it’s necessary.

I fell asleep watching the film last night – same as usual, and I was off on my travels again. On a long-distance bus going to Crewe and I wasn’t sure where I was supposed to alight, and I was astonished that the conductor never came to collect my fare until we turned off Nantwich Road into Edleston Road, so that put paid to my idea of asking him about where I should alight.

I was awake long before the alarm went off but it took me a while to pluck up the strength to leave my nice warm and comfortable sofa. And it was a delight to have nice cold soya milk, nice cold grapefruit juice and all of that, although I have realised that I don’t have any glasses. A bit of a miscalculation there, I reckon. I’ll have to sort through the boxes that I brought with me that originated from my flat in Belgium in 2011.

At 08:30 I went out through the driving rain down to the newsagents where there’s a depot de pain. His baguettesare quite expensive and not very good value. I shall have to see what I can do about bread in the long term because I’m not sure how sustainable this idea of the depot de pain is going to be for my projects.

And I had a laugh on the way back. The rain really was dreadful and some old codger actually stopped in his car and offered me a lift back. But I was only 50 yards away so I declined. But it was interesting to say the least.

That’s the only time that I set foot outside my door today. For the rest of the time I’ve spent trying to tidy up and sort out my stuff. If you remember the piles that were all over the place the other day, it’s now a lot more tidy and there are a lot fewer boxes lying around. They have been … errr … consolidated.

Another thing that I did was to cut my hair. It’s been getting too long. And I’ve had a shave too. There’s hot water now which is really nice and tomorrow I’ll be having a shower. That will be nice.

Tea was another cooking on the portable halogen hob and it worked a treat too. A tinned curry with rice and everything.

I’m going to have another go at watching a film now. Let’s see if I can watch it right through to the end.

Friday 5th May 2017 – SO HERE I AM …

… about to spend my first night in my new chez moi.

Last night I had a really good sleep and was awakened from the dead by the alarm. I knew absolutely nothing about anything in between. I’d been on my travels but all memory of them had disappeared by the time that I had come round.

It was something of a painful breakfast – I’ve clearly been doing too much just now – and I ad to sit around for half an hour or so before I could hit the road. But I ended up at NOZ just as it opened.

NOZ was something of a disappointment. It’s a shop that sells all kinds of ends of series, bankrupt stock, all of that, and I was hoping for a pile of stuff to help me set up home, but it had almost nothing whatever.

I had much better luck in Centrakor where I spent almost €100. Tons of stuff in there that I needed, but most important, after a decent big waste bin of course, was some bedding. A single quilt, pillow and quilt cover. I’m sleeping on the sofa until I can sort out a bed, and I’ll need these to keep warm. It won’t be wasted because if I have friends to stay, they can use the bed and the double quilt that I’ll be buying, and I’ll use the single on here.

After that I went to LeClerc and stocked up with whatever I couldn’t get and also a pile of food. And then I came here.

Still creaking and groaning, it took me a while to bring everything up and then I sat down and made my butties – only to be disturbed by the man from EDF. It took him just 5 minutes to reconnect the electricity and another couple of minutes to show me how to figure out the switch to the immersion heater so that it works on off-peak hours only.

Once that was organised I went into town. I had to pick up the lease for this place, but the estate agent wasn’t in. And then I had to go to my internet provider to pick up a new box. On the way back, seeing as how I now have a working fridge, I picked up a box of strawberry sorbet. I may as well make good use of the freezer drawer I suppose;

This new portable halogen hob thing that I bought in IKEA a couple of months ago isn’t half the bee’s knees. Once I’d worked out how to make it function, it cooked a quick meal for me in minutes flat. It just shows you how out-of-date this old technology is. When I organise the kitchen I’ll be having a couple of halogen hobs to cook with, and I’ll see if I can’t find a halogen oven to go with it. I’m very impressed.

There’s no internet here for another week but I’m in luck because seeing as I am so high up here on the rock, I can pick up some really good signals and my internet supplier has a public wi-fi point in the vicinity to provide a service to the hostel for young workers just down the road. With my own ID and password I can connect into it, so here I am. I’m not sure just how reliable it might be though.

So now I’m going to try for my first night here in my new place. No curtains on the window so I’ll be awoken early.

And that’s the cue for an early night then, isn’t it?

Thursday 4th May 2017 – HAPPY STAR WARS DAY

My last day here at Roncey today. And I can’t say that I’m sorry.

Well, actually yes I can because I’m here in the best of company with Liz and Terry and with food that is second to none, but the last time that I had a home of my own was in mid-November 2015 – over 18 months ago. Ever since then I’ve been living out of a suitcase in all kinds of different accommodation of varying quality. Now that I’m within touching distance of having a place of my own, I’m in a hurry to go there.

Last night I went to bed early-ish and took ages to drop off yet again. But when I did I was Gone With The Wind until about 06:45.

I’d been on my travels too. I had a selection of vehicles, one of which was the Escort van that I still have somewhere. It was taxed but not MoT’d, and I had other vehicles which were MoT’d but not taxed, or there was no insurance on them. And it occurred to me that I was dissipating my energies and why didn’t I put everything into just one vehicle and keep it properly taxed, tested and insured? Instead, I went to catch the bus. One bus drove past me while I was crossing the road. This was the bus 31 – a green Crosville single-decker of the mid-late 1950s. I could have caught that if I had hurried but instead I went across to a house where an old lady (formerly a passenger of mine on the taxis) and a few other women too (regular readers of this rubbish will recall what I mean when the word “beguiled” springs to mind). When I arrived the woman let me in and I noticed that she had a suitcase already packed as if she was ready to go on holiday. I wondered if I was disturbing her but apparently not.

Breakfast was with Liz and after she had gone to work Terry and I filled the cracks in the plasterboard that we had fitted yesterday and then insulated the walls. And seeing how easy all of this went together with metal studding and sheets of Rockwool I really wish that I had done my house like this.

We had to put a waste pipe in this afternoon and this was where the fun began. The soil at the rear of the house is backed up against the wall so we had to dig out a hole where we were passing the waste pipe through. It’s a good job that my digger is here. And then the hole filled with water off the water table so we had to pump it out. And then the wall is 1 metre thick and we only had a 24mm drill that long – and we needed a hole of 40mm. So we had to drill through as a pilot with the 24mm drill and then go in from either side with a shorter 40mm drill – but the holes didn’t line up exactly so the first try with a length of waste pipe fouled up and broke.

That meant a trip to Coutances for another length (in fact I bought two, to be on the safe side) and that’s where we ended up.

Now I’m stiff, aching all over, thoroughly exhausted and worn out. I’m not as young as I used to be.

So when I wake up tomorrow I’m heading off back to my new chez moi in Granville and I hope that the electrickery will be there some time during the course of the afternoon.

And then I’m going to sleep for a week.

EPIC HALL

The Poisoned Pen (or Poisoned Chalice, more like) – or my relentless struggle against reality