Category Archives: Eric Hall

Saturday 13th May 2017 – I’M DESPERATELY DISAPPOINTED …

… about my hi-fi. 6 years in a cardboard box in a very damp and dusty environment hasn’t done it any good at all.

It’s a really expensive system too – cost me a small fortune back in the 1980s. All hi-quality Marantz stuff too. I connected it all up this afternoon and it’s crackling and popping and not doing too much in the way of sound.

I’m not sure what I can do about it. I’ll try to find some electrical contact cleaner to give everything a good going-over but I’m not too optimistic about this at all.

In other bad news, the new frying pan and small wok that I bought don’t seem to make sufficient contact on my halogen hob. It won’t detect them and so it won’t fire up. And I’m dismayed about that too.

Another thing is that the thing that I bought at IKEA to hang my curtains is the wrong thing and i’ll have to take it back.

But it’s not all bad news.

I’ve had a very productive – and successful – day. For a start, I’ve arranged for Caliburn’s Controle Technique for the end of the month.

And I enquired about a garage to service Caliburn and prepare him for his test. He told me of a place that he knew and could recommend so round there I went. I mentioned the little problem that I have with the front end and before I’d even finished describing it, he told me exactly what it was. Anyway, he’s booked in there and we’ll see if the garage proprietor can walk the walk as well as he can talk the talk.

On the way back into town, I noticed a shop that sells factory-reject and shop-soiled electrical equipment. And here I hit the jackpot. They had a new combined microwave/grill oven thing with no box and a missing grill support (but I can invent one of those anyway) for just €49:00 instead of €99:00 which it would have been had it been perfect. It didn’t take me many seconds to have it in the back of Caliburn.

It was a busy day shopping too. I now have a telephone so I might even be able receive calls if I’m not careful. As well as that, I have a nice oilcloth on top of my new table. A red strawberry and cherry design and it looks quite nice.

And while I was there I found exactly what I need for the curtains, and about a quarter of the price too. So I’ll have to measure up now and go back there next week for the stuff that I need.

still no vegan cheese in the Bio shop, but they did have vegan sausages and so for tea tonight I had a welcome variation to my diet. No tinned stuff and pasta today but microwaved potatoes, baked beans and vegan sausages. It certainly was nice too and thanks to Alison for buying me the beans when she went to the UK last winter.

And the carpet is down too. I fetched it up from Caliburn this evening and now there’s nothing left from IKEA in there (apart from the curtain rail that I intend to take back). I assembled the two chairs and finished off the big cupboard by the door too. So on Monday I can take all of the cardboard downstairs to Caliburn and take it to the dechetterie. And on the way back I can buy what I need for the curtains.

So I might have an early night tonight. It was a late night yet again last night what with one thing and another, but I did have a decent sleep – all the way right through until the alarm went off.

And tomorrow, it’s Sunday and there’s no alarm, so I might even have a lie-in just for a change.

Friday 12th May 2017 – ONCE MORE …

… I’m stuck on the sofa unable to move.

Today has been another one of those days where I’ve worked my whatsits off.

as I mentioned last night, I had my shower and then ended up in my beautiful, comfortable, exciting bed with all of my nice, clean, new bedding. And it was so nice to be in there too – so how do you explain the 02:15 awakening and the fact that I couldn’t go back to sleep again for what seemed like hours?

Nevertheless, I had to be up and about something-like as the telephone man was due to call “sometime between 08:00 and 09:00”. And sure enough, at 08:37 (I checked the time) he turned up at the door.

We had a little difficulty with something that didn’t work quite right and it took a while to resolve the issue. But by 10:30 I had the internet and, just as soon as I can buy a telephone, I’ll have a telephone line too.

That was the cue to nip out rather smartish- like and buy a baguette before they all sold out. And then the work began. Almost everything (and certainly everything big) from IKEA came out of Caliburn and is now upstairs in the apartment. It took me quite a few trips to do it but there we are.

having done all of that I set to work to build the big cupboard that will be facing the front door. The purpose of this is to create a little alcove where one can take off one’s wet coat and shoes without traipsing all kinds of muck through the place. “Not like you!” I hear you say, but I have changed … "and about time too" – ed.

The unit wasn’t complicated to assemble, but it took a lot of effort because it’s 2m35 tall, so I’m glad that I brought my steps with me. And the mirrored doors that I have chosen – they were flaming heavy too and I had to invent a contraption to jack them up to the required height – without any of the D-i-Y aids that I would have had in the Auvergne too.

But the heavy doors – now here’s the rub. I want the unit to be free-standing, side-on to the wall and facing the front door (eventually there will be a dresser back-to-back with it) but the doors are so heavy that when they are open, they tilt the unit forwards and over. That’s clearly no good.

At the moment I have it weighted down with a load of stuff that is yet to be tidied away, but it seems that tomorrow I’ll have to buy some drill bits and wall anchors.

That took me until 14:00 anyway and despite the fact that it’s not quite finished, I called it a morning and made lunch.

After lunch, I attacked the other unit. That’s a posh shelving unit like the other one that I assembled yesterday but this has some drawers and glass doors to display the family heirlooms. That one was flaming complicated with all kinds of shenanigans but it’s all done now and it really does look quite impressive – just what I wanted.

But I was too tired to finish off the big unit, to put the stuff in the posh unit or to assemble the other two chairs that I brought up. Aching everywhere because some of this stuff that I carried upstairs was flaming heavy.

So tomorrow I’ll finish it off and then go and do some shopping.

But let’s hope that I have a better night tonight. After all, I didn’t pay all of this money for nothing, did I?

Thursday 11th May 2017 – I ENDED UP …

… not going to bed – or to sofa – very early at all. In fact, just as I was about to retire someone came on line and we ended up having a very long chat about all kinds of things – a chat that went on for a couple of hours. It was after 12:00 by the time that I retired, and that’s not something that’s happening too often these days as you know.

Nevertheless, I was awake quite early – long before the alarm – but it took me quite a while to summon up the energy to leave my stinking pit. It wasn’t easy, I promise you. and it took me ages to pluck up the courage to go down to the depot de pain for my baguette.

But once I was awake, I was off. And I’ve had another hard-working day today too. I now have two rather large bookcases, ready to bring some more books back from the Auvergne next time I’m there, whenever that might be, and I also now have another quite posh set of shelves.

And I bet that my LPs never ever thought that they would ever see the light of day again, but there they are on the shelves along with the DVDs and CDs that I brought with me (not all of them by a long way) and the Hi-Fi – first time that the Hi-Fi and the LPs, and the DVD and Video players, have seen the light of day since 2011 and how I have missed them … "you’ll need to improve your aim" – ed.

Although that might not sound like too much, what took the time was filling the shelves and rearranging everything. That was quite a work of art and now it can truly be said that the floor is quite reasonably tidy for me.

But it wasn’t like that at one point, because I was at a certain moment up to my knees in cardboard boxes. And I’m not joking either. But now, all of the cardboard has been gathered up from everywhere and there’s a big pile right by the side of the sofa. When the rest of the stuff is brought out of Caliburn (which might be tomorrow – you never know) I can move the empty cardboard down into Caliburn and head off to the dechetterie.

Rosemary rang me up later this afternoon for a chat – all of … errr … 1 hour and 11 minutes. I like talking to Rosemary and it’s good to talk to her, especially when we are putting the world to rights. And it seems to need it just now, doesn’t it?

So now, I’m going to have a shower. And there’s a good reason for this – namely that tonight I can finally go to sleep on my new bed. All new bedding, quilts and pillows too, and you have no idea just how much I’ve been looking forward to this. That’s why I’m going to pretty myself up and smell properly for a change.

It’s a shame to ruin the new bed, isn’t it?

Wednesday 10th May 2017 – I’M WHACKED YET AGAIN …

… but at least I have more furniture and the place is a little more tidy.

Once again, I fell asleep watching my film. And once again I was off on my travels – with a welcome return of Zero, who has accompanied me on many of my nocturnal voyages in the past. I was in Stoke on Trent at the house of someone I once knew, and it was a total mess with rubbish and filth absolutely everywhere – the kind of conditions in which not even I could live, and that’s saying something. I’d been looking after Zero and after she had gone to bed I’d washed my socks and undies in the sink and left them on the draining board to dry. But then the couple came back and the woman expressed surprise, if not anger, at seeing my washing there. I did explain that I didn’t expect them back until long after I had awoken, but that cut no ice. So then it was a case of looking for the bread. But in every cupboard that I opened, it was full of cake – a kind of yellowy raisin cake – and as you opened a cupboard door, the action caused a pile of cake to fall out on the floor, so they just picked it up off the disgusting floor and put it back.

This morning I was awake long before the alarm went off and breakfast was yet again early. I had a good relax but at 08:30 nipped out to the depot de pain to pick up my baguette.

And so to work.

It took three trips to bring up the shelving for the kitchen. And much longer than I expected to assemble it. But what took even longer was to fill it with everything. I never realised just how much tinned food I had. It’s going to take me a year to eat all of it. But the pile of stuff that you saw on the floor nearest the camera in the photo from a couple of weeks ago – that is no more. It’s all on the shelves and there’s room to move about.

After lunch I attacked the kitchen table. That was an expensive piece of kit and weighs a ton. I had to open all of the packets and bring it up bit by bit. It took ages to assemble and I needed a crane to move it, but it’s a really good size (160×70 with two drop-down leaves) and has 6 drawers built in. As you know, storage is a big issue here.

It needs an oilcloth on it but that’s for Saturday when I’m out and about. In the meantime it is covered by the plastic sheet from off the mattress. That should protect it.

And that’s not all either. There was still time before knocking off to assemble a couple of chairs. I’ve bought four to go with my table and there are two now assembled – one in the kitchen area and the other in the bedroom for now.

Talking of the bedroom, I’m having another night on the sofa. I found a label for the mattress and this told me that the waiting period for sleeping on it is 72 hours. I want it to be the best possible, so another day won’t hurt. But I am looking forward to sleeping on it.

But as for sleeping, I did have a little … errr … relax after I finished the table and before I attacked the chairs.

With the kitchen table I’ve arranged it so that it’s by the sink and I can use it as a worktop. It was nice to have a place where I could properly fix a meal.

So now it’s an early night yet again. And hope that I might be able to watch a film all the way through.

Tuesday 9th May 2017 – BLIMEY!

These knives that I bought at IKEA yesterday aren’t half sharp. I cut myself three times today making lunch – once with the big bread knife slicing open the baguette and twice with the little one slicing my tomato. They are so sharp that in fact you don’t feel yourself being cut.

But you certainly feel it afterwards.

As seems to be the usual situation here, I fell asleep in the middle of the film. And it was still dark when I awoke. I’d been on my travels too, driving a vehicle somewhere and in doing a three-point turn in someone’s draiveway I’d bumped his vehicle. He was an old naggy guy and his wife was an old naggy woman too. his vehicle was a rusty wreck but I couldn’t argue my way out of any liability and so we settled by my paying him £20:00. And it was then once I’d given him the cash that he told me that his vehicle had been bumped in exactly the same place a week ago and that the insurance company was to pay him for the damage.

After an early breakfast and having had a little relax, I attacked the bed. And it’s now finished -and when the mattress has finished expanding (tomorrow evening, I reckon) I can go to sleep on it.

But it took me all day to do the bed instead of the hour or so that I was hoping, because it was dismantled into all kinds of fiddly little bits and pieces that took ages to find, ages to sort out and ages to fix. And I ended up with a bad back too so I had to go and sit down for an hour or two in between.

Not only that, I had to go out for my bank appointment at 13:30 seeing as how it was arranged for 14:00. And i’ve found a short cut down into town too so it didn’t take me long to get there.

The appointment dragged on and on though – well more than 90 minutes and I had to send out for some water. I could drop off my insurance certificate on the estate agents and then walk back up the hill. It was so hot that I had to stop for a breather on the way up, and it was a good job that I had bought a bottle of water.

So now the bed’s finished, and tomorrow night I’ll be sleeping on it. So it’s the sofa again tonight.

But before I go, I’ll just mention the baguette. You might recall me moaning about it the other day – the bread from the depot de pain at the newsagent’s. It seems that I picked up the wrong baguette there.They do have the standard ones, and at a more-democratic €0:90 too. I just didn’t see them the other day.

So now I know.

Monday 8th May 2017 – SO THAT’S ME …

… selling my body on the streets of Granville from now on, after what I spent in the IKEA in Caen today.

About a third of what I need as well, so it’s going to be an ongoing process. But what I have already bought will make a huge difference, once I summon up the effort to unload it all out of Caliburn.

It goes without saying that I fell asleep mid-film last night. And I was off on my travels, ending up at a hotel where I was to be staying. I had a car full of stuff and told the people not to worry – I’ll just dump it all in the room that I usually have, totally overlooking the fact that it was still only 07:00 and there were probably people still asleep there, never mind the room being prepared and ready.

Back here though, I was wide awake at 06:30 and up and about breakfasting by about 07:15. I managed my shower too – which was really nice – and then I was all outside ready for Liz who was turning up at 08:30.

Driving through the pea-souper, we were at the IKEA at Caen just after 10:00 and went to the café for a coffee to gather our wits before launching the attack.

Just by way of a change, I was quite disorganised – although that’s more the fact that I’ve never done this kind of shopping in IKEA before. In fact, it took up until 14:30 to make the first pass for all of the bits and pieces.

But then I was made aware of this system whereby for just €25 extra, you can go from department to department, simply registering your requirements with the information desk there, paying at the express checkout,and then waiting for about 90 minutes for them to pick it up, load it onto the trolleys and push it out for you.

In other words, the first pass took about 4 hours. The second pass took less than an hour and then the 90-minute wait. And I had three big trolley-loads of stuff too.

There’s a service whereby they will send someone to help you load your car too, so while we were waiting, we started to load Caliburn ourselves. And we had him loaded up and gone before anyone came – that’s how efficient we were.

Back here, we just unloaded the essential and heavy items between us, and a very friendly passer-by grabbed hold of one end of the bed to help us upstairs too, which was very nice and neighbourly.

So now I’m completely exhausted. Too tired to make tea. I’d be going to bed too but the mattress has to wait 48 hours to uncurl itself before it’s possible to sleep on it.

And so it’s the sofa for another two nights anyway. And I’m not going to hang about.

Sunday 7th May 2017 – I LIKE …

… my neighbour very much.

I was out and about fairly early to go and fetch some bread and here he was, sitting on the windowsill of one of the ground floor apartments here.

He was extremely friendly and enjoyed a really good stroke. And so did I too. It looks as if I might have one friend here at least.

As I predicted, I fell asleep in the middle of my film but managed somehow to wake up and turn off the computer before going back to sleep. And then I was off on my travels again. I don’t remember too much about it except that I was in an area similar to the South-West USA with rolling hills and valleys. I had to travel over these ridges and valleys and my route was taking me deeper and deeper into Chiracahua Apache territory during the period when this would have been an automatic sentence of death. And, ofcourse, the farther and farther I progressed, the more tense I became. Hardly surprising that I awoke in a cold sweat.

But it was a good sleep all the same and even though it was a Sunday and there was no alarm, it was still 06:30 when I awoke and 07:00 when I was breakfasting.

At about 08:30 I headed off out to pick up some bread, and having said “hello” to my friend, I walked over to the cliff edge to see what I could see.

The answer was “not very much”. There was one of those early morning mists for which this area is quite famous, rolling in off the sea. But at least you have an idea of what the view is going to be like from the side of my building when the weather clears.

Just for a change, instead of going down by the road or going through the old town, I took the footpath along the coastal path instead.

And from here there’s an excellent view of the barracks complex where I live. Unfortunately that’s not my building – mine’s behind there with the view of the sea all blocked off which is a shame. But then, I can’t complain after all of the ruins that I have seen

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that bad parking is a recurring theme on these pages. And here’s another example.

British of course, as you might expect, and an old wreck too, but the driver still wants to be extremely selfish and occupy two parking spaces in what is a very restricted and difficult area to find a parking place in the old town.

Like I said, there are times when I am ashamed to be British when I see my fellow countrymen behaving like this. No wonder everyone in Europe hates the Brits.

As you walk around the corner of the coastal path underneath the city walls, this spectacular view suddenly appears at your feet. On the left-hand edge of the photo we have the casino, and moving clockwise round, a little bit of beach, then the healh spa place where people go to recover from injuries and illnesses, and then the red and cream building is a hotel.

You can understand why the French military engineers chose this site up here for the building of a walled city, with a cliff like this to climb up

The view farther round the cliff would normally be just as impressive, but today as you saw earlier, there is this rolling mist coming in off the sea.

But at least just here, I’m on the top of the stairs – there are about 100 of them that go down to the car park that we saw earlier, and the boulangerie is just across the road from there behind the hotel.

That particular boulangerie might sell the best baguettes but the rest of the bread is rubbish. Cremated bread seems to be the order of things round here, and my boule was a good example. It might always be that they think that I’m a god – hence the burnt offering.

I came back up the road rather than up the steps – I didn’t feel up to that.

This involved following the city walls on the south side and there are some very interesting things to see along here. You’ve seen the drawbridge the other day, but this building just here is even more exciting and what wouldn’t I give to have an apartment in there?

I have a thing about turrets as you know.

Back here I had a leisurely morning not doing too much (after all, it is Sunday) but we had a change of plan at lunch time. I had bought a folding chair the other day and seeing as how it was a sunny, still day today, I made my butties and went to sit outside in the sun.

I had a good book and a bottle of pop, and I stayed out there for almost two hours enjoying the weather.

This afternoon I went a-measuring. I’m off tomorrow to buy some furniture and so I need to know the dimensions of what I need. It’s not a very big apartment here and things are a little tight so it’s a case of making sure that i’m not buying anything too big to fit where I want it.

I forgot to have my shower this morning, what with one thing and another, so I’ll have to do that before I go out. it’s going to be an early start as I have a long way to go.

And that’s a cue for an early night too, isn’t it?

Saturday 6th May 2017 – THIS SOFA …

… isn’t all that bad to sleep on. It’s slightly too short so I have to curl up a little and my neck aches slightly if I’m not in a good position, but I’ve slept in far worse places far more uncomfortably than this. It’ll do fine for a few days, and again whenever it’s necessary.

I fell asleep watching the film last night – same as usual, and I was off on my travels again. On a long-distance bus going to Crewe and I wasn’t sure where I was supposed to alight, and I was astonished that the conductor never came to collect my fare until we turned off Nantwich Road into Edleston Road, so that put paid to my idea of asking him about where I should alight.

I was awake long before the alarm went off but it took me a while to pluck up the strength to leave my nice warm and comfortable sofa. And it was a delight to have nice cold soya milk, nice cold grapefruit juice and all of that, although I have realised that I don’t have any glasses. A bit of a miscalculation there, I reckon. I’ll have to sort through the boxes that I brought with me that originated from my flat in Belgium in 2011.

At 08:30 I went out through the driving rain down to the newsagents where there’s a depot de pain. His baguettesare quite expensive and not very good value. I shall have to see what I can do about bread in the long term because I’m not sure how sustainable this idea of the depot de pain is going to be for my projects.

And I had a laugh on the way back. The rain really was dreadful and some old codger actually stopped in his car and offered me a lift back. But I was only 50 yards away so I declined. But it was interesting to say the least.

That’s the only time that I set foot outside my door today. For the rest of the time I’ve spent trying to tidy up and sort out my stuff. If you remember the piles that were all over the place the other day, it’s now a lot more tidy and there are a lot fewer boxes lying around. They have been … errr … consolidated.

Another thing that I did was to cut my hair. It’s been getting too long. And I’ve had a shave too. There’s hot water now which is really nice and tomorrow I’ll be having a shower. That will be nice.

Tea was another cooking on the portable halogen hob and it worked a treat too. A tinned curry with rice and everything.

I’m going to have another go at watching a film now. Let’s see if I can watch it right through to the end.

Friday 5th May 2017 – SO HERE I AM …

… about to spend my first night in my new chez moi.

Last night I had a really good sleep and was awakened from the dead by the alarm. I knew absolutely nothing about anything in between. I’d been on my travels but all memory of them had disappeared by the time that I had come round.

It was something of a painful breakfast – I’ve clearly been doing too much just now – and I ad to sit around for half an hour or so before I could hit the road. But I ended up at NOZ just as it opened.

NOZ was something of a disappointment. It’s a shop that sells all kinds of ends of series, bankrupt stock, all of that, and I was hoping for a pile of stuff to help me set up home, but it had almost nothing whatever.

I had much better luck in Centrakor where I spent almost €100. Tons of stuff in there that I needed, but most important, after a decent big waste bin of course, was some bedding. A single quilt, pillow and quilt cover. I’m sleeping on the sofa until I can sort out a bed, and I’ll need these to keep warm. It won’t be wasted because if I have friends to stay, they can use the bed and the double quilt that I’ll be buying, and I’ll use the single on here.

After that I went to LeClerc and stocked up with whatever I couldn’t get and also a pile of food. And then I came here.

Still creaking and groaning, it took me a while to bring everything up and then I sat down and made my butties – only to be disturbed by the man from EDF. It took him just 5 minutes to reconnect the electricity and another couple of minutes to show me how to figure out the switch to the immersion heater so that it works on off-peak hours only.

Once that was organised I went into town. I had to pick up the lease for this place, but the estate agent wasn’t in. And then I had to go to my internet provider to pick up a new box. On the way back, seeing as how I now have a working fridge, I picked up a box of strawberry sorbet. I may as well make good use of the freezer drawer I suppose;

This new portable halogen hob thing that I bought in IKEA a couple of months ago isn’t half the bee’s knees. Once I’d worked out how to make it function, it cooked a quick meal for me in minutes flat. It just shows you how out-of-date this old technology is. When I organise the kitchen I’ll be having a couple of halogen hobs to cook with, and I’ll see if I can’t find a halogen oven to go with it. I’m very impressed.

There’s no internet here for another week but I’m in luck because seeing as I am so high up here on the rock, I can pick up some really good signals and my internet supplier has a public wi-fi point in the vicinity to provide a service to the hostel for young workers just down the road. With my own ID and password I can connect into it, so here I am. I’m not sure just how reliable it might be though.

So now I’m going to try for my first night here in my new place. No curtains on the window so I’ll be awoken early.

And that’s the cue for an early night then, isn’t it?

Thursday 4th May 2017 – HAPPY STAR WARS DAY

My last day here at Roncey today. And I can’t say that I’m sorry.

Well, actually yes I can because I’m here in the best of company with Liz and Terry and with food that is second to none, but the last time that I had a home of my own was in mid-November 2015 – over 18 months ago. Ever since then I’ve been living out of a suitcase in all kinds of different accommodation of varying quality. Now that I’m within touching distance of having a place of my own, I’m in a hurry to go there.

Last night I went to bed early-ish and took ages to drop off yet again. But when I did I was Gone With The Wind until about 06:45.

I’d been on my travels too. I had a selection of vehicles, one of which was the Escort van that I still have somewhere. It was taxed but not MoT’d, and I had other vehicles which were MoT’d but not taxed, or there was no insurance on them. And it occurred to me that I was dissipating my energies and why didn’t I put everything into just one vehicle and keep it properly taxed, tested and insured? Instead, I went to catch the bus. One bus drove past me while I was crossing the road. This was the bus 31 – a green Crosville single-decker of the mid-late 1950s. I could have caught that if I had hurried but instead I went across to a house where an old lady (formerly a passenger of mine on the taxis) and a few other women too (regular readers of this rubbish will recall what I mean when the word “beguiled” springs to mind). When I arrived the woman let me in and I noticed that she had a suitcase already packed as if she was ready to go on holiday. I wondered if I was disturbing her but apparently not.

Breakfast was with Liz and after she had gone to work Terry and I filled the cracks in the plasterboard that we had fitted yesterday and then insulated the walls. And seeing how easy all of this went together with metal studding and sheets of Rockwool I really wish that I had done my house like this.

We had to put a waste pipe in this afternoon and this was where the fun began. The soil at the rear of the house is backed up against the wall so we had to dig out a hole where we were passing the waste pipe through. It’s a good job that my digger is here. And then the hole filled with water off the water table so we had to pump it out. And then the wall is 1 metre thick and we only had a 24mm drill that long – and we needed a hole of 40mm. So we had to drill through as a pilot with the 24mm drill and then go in from either side with a shorter 40mm drill – but the holes didn’t line up exactly so the first try with a length of waste pipe fouled up and broke.

That meant a trip to Coutances for another length (in fact I bought two, to be on the safe side) and that’s where we ended up.

Now I’m stiff, aching all over, thoroughly exhausted and worn out. I’m not as young as I used to be.

So when I wake up tomorrow I’m heading off back to my new chez moi in Granville and I hope that the electrickery will be there some time during the course of the afternoon.

And then I’m going to sleep for a week.

Wednesday 3rd May 2017 – I’VE BEEN TO COUTANCES …

… more times today that I have been in the rest of my life.

Well, anyway I reckon so, because when I was there a couple of weeks ago I didn’t see anywhere or anything that made me think that I had been here before when Nerina and I did out Grant Tour of Normandy and Brittany in 1991.

But last night, once I finally managed to drop off to sleep, I slept the Sleep Of The Dead and it wasn’t until the alarm went off that I awoke.

Terry and I were on our own today after breakfast and I had to go into Countances for the stuff that we needed for today’s exertions – the pipes for the plumbing of the heating in the kitchen, some more metal studding for the walls and a few other bits and pieces too. While I was out at the shops Terry started to fit the wooden bracing supports on the wall where the kitchen units will be.

Upon my return I helped Terry finish off the bracing and then we had a mega-tidy-and-clean-up, which took us up to lunchtime.

After lunch we fitted the insulation and the plasterboard on the ceiling in the hall, and that was quite exciting seeing as there was just two of us. And then an inventory of stock showed us that we were still short of what we needed and so I had to return to Coutances.

While I was there, I noticed that the Intermarché had a couple of small 6kg washing machines on offer at just €199. There’s plumbing for an automatic washer at my new place and so this could be a possibility.

Back here, we finished off the day by installing all of the studding down the wall that runs down the front of the kitchen and the hallway. That took a while as there were many fiddly bits to be done.

Liz had done a machine-load of washing for me before she went. I’d found a bag full of dirty washing at the bottom of the pile of stuff in Caliburn and so I’d put it all in an empty black holdall similar to the one that I use for travelling that had a set of clean clothes and stuff like that. And then I’d brought the wrong one with me and left behind in my apartment the one that I should have bought. And so tonight I had a shower in the gorgeous new shower here and a change of clothes to make me smell nice – if that’s at all possible.

The Electrickery Board has changed the time of my re-connection on Friday to between 13:00 and 17:00 so I’m staying here tomorrow to give Terry another day of help, and I can sleep here until Friday morning. That will take me nicely into town on Friday morning to do the essential shopping to start myself off.

The big question is, though, will I have faded away by Friday morning? At this rate I wouldn’t rule it out.

Tuesday 2nd May 2017 – THAT’S ME FINISHED!

Yes, I’m thoroughly whacked and I’ll be off to bed in a minute, where I’ll sleep until my name changes to Eric van Winkle.

It all started going wrong last night. I’d been too busy chatting and ended up going to bed quite late (for me just recently anyway). And then it took me ages to drop off to sleep. It seemed like for ever.

But sleep I must have done because I was off on my travels during the night again.

There were four of us working in an office. Our job was to oversee the writing of laws for a particular community. But suddenly three of us were transferred to law enforcement, which was not a very desirable job. It turned out that our fourth colleague had “invented” a gadget that had actually been something that we had all worked on, but he had claimed the rights to it and persuaded our boss that it was his. As a result, he was given the department all to himself and he had even gone and had a sign put on his desk that he was “lawmaker” before anything official had even been announced. I took this gadget down to the boss to explain to him about how we had done it but he refused to listen. I was so incensed by all of this that I was all for strangling him and ended up fighting with him like you would fight with an annoying cat.

The alarm awoke me this morning and hearing movement about, I went to join Liz for breakfast before she went off to work. And then I went for a quick trip out, as far as the boulangerie in the village for bread, seeing as how we didn’t have very much.

By the time that I returned, Terry was up and about. And then we set to work.

First task was to demolish a wall in the kitchen here. Terry was swinging the hammer and I was cleaning uo and taking the rubbish down to the trailer ready for the tip. By the time that we had finished, Terry’s mate had arrived so we insulated the kitchen ceiling and then plasterboarded it.

We had lunch after that, and then spent the rest of the afternoon constructing the studding for the plasterboarding on the walls throughout the kitchen.

By the time that 19:00 came round we were all completely exhausted. It took us an hour to recover before we could even put the tea in the microwave.

And I’m supposed to be ill too! I will be after all of this, I’ll tell you.

So I wonder what will be on the cards tomorrow, apart from more of the same.

Monday 1st May 2017 – HAPPY BELTANE

Or Happy May Day. Or Calan Mai Hapus, or Happy whatever else it is that you have celebrated today. Here in France it’s the fête de travail, the Festival of Work, and everyone celebrates that by having a day off work.

Not that anyone ever would be going anywhere because it’s been pouring down with rain today. I actually set foot outside – for all of 30 seconds when I went to fetch something from Caliburn. And that was that.

What with all of my exertions yesterday, I was in bed by 22:00. and despite trying yet again to watch the same film that I’ve been trying to watch for the last 100 years, I fell asleep more-or-less straight away. Mind you, I can’t have been asleep for very long because the film was still going when something awoke me.

After that, it took me a while to go back to sleep, despite how warm and comfortable the bed was, but once I was gone, I was gone until about 06:30 when the most terrific storm rattled me awake.

It must have been a good sleep though, because I’d been on my travels again. I’d moved house into a new apartment – and I do mean new because the building was definitely the latest thing. It wasn’t quite 09:00 and so there were people queueing up to enter it (it was doubling as an office block too) and there were security guards checking people’s bags and the like. I thought that this was going to bode well for my new abode if I could only enter it during office hours and then at the risk of being searched. But even though I had a blue IKEA bag full of shopping, somehow I managed to pass the security check without being bothered too much.
From there I found myself in an underground multi-storey car park, one that I’ve been in on many occasions during my nocturnal rambles over the years. But this time, I couldn’t really remember what I was doing in there.

Although I was awake early, I couldn’t hear anyone else moving about in the house so seeing as it’s a Bank Holiday today I disregarded the alarms and had a lie-in until 08:30. About time I took it easy, I reckon.

I’ve spent all of the day either reading a book, reading stuff off the internet, catching up with some work on the laptop or watching the cricket. And having a little … errr … relax too. That’s been about my lot really.

Liz made a nice vegan curry for tea and furthermore there’s enough left over for tomorrow too, which is very nice. It’s nice to have some decent food for a change.

Now I’m going to try for yet another early night. I wonder if I’ll manage to stay awake long enough to finish my film.

Sunday 30th April 2017 – WHAT A HORRIBLE …

… night that was!

I went to bed early and fell asleep after just about 10 minutes of a film that I’ve tried to watch on several occasions. But it didn’t do me much good because I was awake again at about 01:30, really uncomfortably, and I couldn’t go back to sleep again.

Not only that, there was some kind of incident early in the morning. I thought at first that the cat had caught a seagull or something, but apparently the landlady’s dog had had a fit – and I bet that it was a tight one too.

Mind you, I must have gone to sleep at some time or other during the night because I had been on my travels. I was with Roxanne and Laurence, trying to negotiate Roxanne’s entry into a different school. But the negotiations were extremely complex and I discovered that you had to pay for the lessons – including the basic ones like English (which surprised me – by the way, it was English as a first language too). In the end I turned to Laurence and suggested that Roxanne stay at home and Laurence teach her – after all, Laurence is a qualified teacher (which she wasn’t, but never mind).
We ended up being on a coach going down a steep hill – I wasn’t driving but the man who was driving it was having a few difficulties. trying to negotiate his way between a couple of parked lorries he ripped the right-hand side mirror out of its housing. No amount of fiddling about could get it to go back into position.

After breakfast I had a shower and a good clean-up, tidied up my room, packed up everything and then spent an hour or so catching up with some stuff on the internet. Once I’d finished organising myself I got my motor running and headed out on the highway.

There’s no electricity in my new place until Friday morning and so Liz and Terry had told me that if I didn’t mind sleeping in the middle of a building site, I could stay at their new place for a few nights. Of course, it’s not where you are and what you are doing, it’s who you are with that counts and so I headed off through the rainstorm (the first real rain that we have had since I’ve been up here) to Roncey.

Liz had cooked a gorgeous soup for lunch, and then I had a little surprise. Liz and Terry had bought two really nice sofas for the living room at their house in the Auvergne but there wasn’t room for both of them in the living room in the place that they have just bought. And so in thanks for a service that I had rendered to them a few months ago, we heaved the redundant sofa into the back of Caliburn and drove off to Granville.

Once we had dropped off the sofa, we went for a walk around the area where my new place is. It’s an old town full of beautiful stone buildings, narrow alleyways and city walls. And we found a café that looked like something out of the 19th Century, with live music too.

Back through the rainstorm and the roadworks for another one of Liz’s special meals followed by home-made vegan cake and a nice wood fire. Here I can sit and watch the rain falling outside while I am in the warmth.

And I have some furniture now. I’ve slept on that sofa before and I’ll be sleeping on it again until I can organise myself a bed. It’s only a sofa, but it’s a start.

Saturday 29th April 2017 – CALIBURN IS RUNNING MUCH BETTER …

… now that he’s empty. This morning I went up to the Place d’Armes and carried on emptying him of everything that was in there.

I’m not sure exactly how I managed to put some of the boxes into Caliburn, but I had a struggle to get them out and for three of them, I had to divide the load in half before I could move them up into the apartment.

But it’s all done now, Caliburn is empty and the apartment is full. It’s amazing just how much stuff was in there, and with all of that Caliburn was only half-full too.

And that’s not all of it that was in there either because there’s stuff in the bedroom and in the bathroom too.

What remains now is the difficult bit – to go off to IKEA and buy some furniture. I’ve seen what I want and so for the next week or two I’ll be selling my body around the streets of Granville.

I was awake early this morning – like 05:00 early. and couldn’t go back to sleep again. And so I was more than ready for breakfast. Afterwards I headed into Granville to do some shopping.

While I was driving down the hill, I noticed a place that gives music lessons, so I stopped there to see if anyone wanted a bass guitarist. I wasn’t surprised to receive a negative answer but at least I’m making myself known around the community and that’s the point.

There’s a football match this evening too – US Granville’s Ist XI at home to Vendée Fontenay Foot in the Championnat France Amateur and tickets were on sale in the Leclerc. I may as well go along and see what they are up to.

At lunchtime I stopped work and went with my butties to sit in the wind on top of the cliffs overlooking the bay.

I was disturbed by a loud-hailer out to sea and it turned out to be a cruise boat thing with loads of tourists being given a guided tour of the bay. Giving a guided tour to half of the Department as well judging by the volume of the boat’s PA system.

Mind you, he didn’t hang about long and disappeared back to where he came from on the other side of the headland. Which was just as well, because he was getting on my nerves and I hope that this isn’t a regular thing.

I carried on with the unloading and then crashed out for half an hour. and finished off the day by sitting quietly and reading a book. I reckon that I had deserved it.

The crowd at the football tonight was a bit dismal – just 560 people. and they missed an exciting match. US Granville went 1-0 up after about 10 minutes, and that after their keeper had pulled off two or three stunning saves (I’m quite impressed with this US Granville keeper).

But the goal was one of those that I have been predicting for years, as regular readers of this rubbish will remember. A back-pass to the keeper and instead of the keeper belting it upfield or out into touch, he hangs on to it and tries to be clever, with a couple of Granville forwards closing down on him. When he finally does decide to clear it, he miskicks and the ball hits a Granville forward in the stomach and bounces back into the net. And serve him right too.

The second goal that US Granville scored was a peach, and a candidate for “goal of the month” in any league you like. A ball won in the air by the big Granville centre forward who plays it out to the right winger (who was having a good game). He fizzes a cross along the ground right into the penalty area and a most audacious step-over from the centre-forward wrong-foots the entire Vendée Fontenay Foot defence. The left-winger running in from the far side has the simplest of tasks to side-foot the ball into the empty net.

So 2-0 up at half-time and going at a canter. I remember musing to myself “still 45 minutes to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory” – and how I was to come to regret those words.

As seems to be the usual procedure these days in French football, US Granville were so far ahead that they imagined that they had the game won already, and in the second half they had switched right off and Vendée Fontenay Foot were pushing forward.

A free kick about 25 yards out to Vendée Fontenay Foot and a magnificent curling shot around the wall found the net right by the near post. And about a minute later, a goalmouth scramble in the US Granville penalty area saw a foot prod the ball into the net through a crowd of players.

panic stations after that and Vendée Fontenay Foot could easily have scored a third – and a fourth – and would have done with some better luck too. But US Granville hung on and almost scored a winner themselves in the dying minutes. Nevertheless, I bet that they were glad that the final whistle went when it did.

As for the football, this is CFA – Championnat France Amateur, part-time players playing what is about Conference North or Conference South equivalent. And I do have to say that the standard is pretty good for all that. The US Granville keeper and their centre-half could easily slot into a League 2 side in the UK and I would sign the keeper in a heartbeat. He reads the game well, is a good shot-stopper and has good distribution skills.

On the way home I found a pizza van, and I still have some vegan cheese left. So that was tea organised. It was a good pizza too and the guy was quite garrulous.

So now it’s bed-time. My last night here and I can’t say that I’m too sorry. It was the cheapest place in Normandy and you can’t win a coconut every time.

EPIC HALL

The Poisoned Pen (or Poisoned Chalice, more like) – or my relentless struggle against reality