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LIVE: Wednesday 14th October 2026 – I HAVE JUST …

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… woken up after finding myself asleep on the porcelain horse.

And judging by the time, I’d been asleep for almost an hour too. And had it not been for a phantom doorbell ringing at what I thought was the front door but was probably somewhere in the back of my head, I’d probably still be asleep now.

What was worse was that I didn’t remember anything at all about feeling tired, and so waking up like that took me completely by surprise. I had no idea where I was … "nothing new there" – ed … and for a moment I thought that I was in bed and it was time to get up. And then I didn’t remember hearing the alarm to wake me up, so I wondered what time it was. That’s how much I was disorientated by everything.

So now, I’m going to start to type up my notes, and we’ll see how far we get before I crash out again.

All I can say is that it’s a good job that I’m no longer driving. Imagine the outcome if I’d been behind a steering wheel.

Anyway, retournons à mos moutons as they say around here.

For a start, I’m in a much better humour than I was after my outburst last night, which is good news, even if today has been a disappointment as far as work and everything else goes. It wasn’t helped, what with one thing and another, by going to bed at 00:30 this morning, and even less so by being awake at 02:19 (I checked the time).

Whether I went back to sleep afterwards or not, I really don’t know, but it can’t have been for long and I was definitely awake when the alarm went off at 06:29.

As you might expect, it took even longer for me to find my way to my feet this morning, and it really was a weary me who dragged himself to the front door to unlock it ready for the nurse when he comes. But then I realised that he wasn’t going to come this morning because I had my early morning appointment at the hospital and the taxi will be here before he will.

And so I dragged myself into the bathroom to sort myself out for the day, and then came back in here to listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night.

There had been some kind of party and we had been to it with the children from our family and a few of our friends. We managed to have some kind of CD player working for the songs. When it came to pack up, there was an awful mess everywhere. We had so many things out, and all wires, cables and cassettes, CDs and all kinds of stuff that was lying around. I looked at it and I was in despair when I saw how much there was to do, but we made a start anyway. The first thing was to separate people’s belongings from other people’s belongings. We did that, and then there was this huge pile of stuff that was from Stoke-on-Trent somewhere, and we didn’t know where to begin with this. In the end, a couple of the girls brought it out, and I was surprised to see that they had brought almost all of it out. The first thing was to sort through the documents, paperwork, the dominos and things like that, and throw away what we didn’t want and keep what we wanted. We began to do that. This enabled us to separate a lot of the stuff that was all tangled up and knotted up. Having seen what this place was like before we tackled this pile of stuff, I was feeling a little bit more optimistic, although there were still several other piles of stuff to go through as well.

Whatever was going on in that dream, I can’t see any relevance to anything that has happened just recently. The reference to the two girls could be a reference to Alison and Jackie, who helped me move down here last August, and the huge tangle of wires would easily relate to the pile of wires and cables that I have lying around here.

And for some reason, when I recall this dream, an image of that apartment over the shop in Nantwich Road where an old schoolfriend and I lodged for a short while in the mid-seventies springs immediately to view in the back of my mind, but that’s about it.

Round about 08:00 I went to sit in the kitchen while I waited for the taxi, and it turned up bang on time at 08:15. The driver drove me to the hospital, and when we arrived, she went to find a wheelchair for me. I know that I said that I won’t ever go in a wheelchair and that my autonomy is important to me, but the scanners are miles down the corridor and at that time of the morning, the drivers are usually very busy and don’t have the time to wait for me to walk there.

When I arrived at the scan department, I had to wait a few minutes, and then they put me through the machine. It was one of those Austin Powers time tunnel things made by one of my former employers, General Electric, and you have to breathe in, hold your breath and breathe out in accordance with the voice in the machine. And what they did seemed to be exactly the same as they had done a couple of months ago, so I’m not sure why they did it this time.

When it was finished, I had to wait fifteen minutes for the taxi. I suppose that I’ll have the results in due course. It was the same girl who had driven me. Back here, my faithful cleaner was out on her rounds dealing with some of her other elderly and infirm clients, so the driver helped me back to the apartment, which was nice of her.

Back in here, I could at last make my breakfast, albeit about an hour later than usual, and while I was eating, I was reading some more of THE REPORT OF THE WOOLHOPE NATURALISTS CLUB 1870.

Today, our author is talking about the Pulpit Oak at Upton, and he refers to the collection of poems known as “Hesperides”, written by Robert Herrick and published in 1648. He quotes a line from one of Herrick’s … gulp … 1200 or so poems which says –
"—Dearest, bury me
Under that holy oke, or Gospel tree;
Where, though thou see’st not, thou may’st think upon
Me, when thou yeerly go’st Procession."
And reminds us that "But surely such a request could only have been properly asked of some gay young member of that office which has descended from remote antiquity—the parish beadle."

All of the author’s recent writing makes me wonder what on earth is going on in Herefordshire in 1870 and 1871.

No sooner had I finished breakfast when there was a knock on the door. One of my neighbours had come along for a chat. We spent about an hour chatting about nothing specific – just the events in the building and in the locality over the summer. It’s not like me to be sociable, as regular readers of this rubbish will recall, but I do have to make an effort, especially as everyone in this building is so friendly.

After he left, it was the turn of my faithful cleaner to stick her head in the door to make sure that I was back safely, so I reassured her.

Round about now, it was the time for my disgusting drink and midday medication, so I sorted that out and then came back in here to start work – at long last.

However, there was football on the internet. Last night, Stranraer had been playing Kilmarnock’s B team in the Scottish League Cup.

The result was 3-3, which meant, when the results of the previous rounds were taken into consideration, Stranraer were eliminated.

My interest was, however, in Kilmarnock’s centre forward, Ieuan Owen. Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that last season, he was playing for Y Barri in the Welsh Premier League where he and Ollie Hulbert were tearing the opposition defences to shreds with their lightning pace. I was interested to see how he was getting on at Kilmarnock, and there he was, still producing these devastating runs that outpace just about everyone, and he scored Killie’s first goal last night.

With all of that out of the way, I could now get on with work, but by the end of the afternoon, I hadn’t done anything like as much as I had wanted. I was hoping to have all of the music chosen, reformatted, re-edited, paired and segued by this evening so I could start to write up the notes tomorrow, but to date, there are only about nine out of the ten chosen as yet, and none of them are paired and segued.

As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … these last few days have just been one big disappointment.

So eventually, the clock came round to 19:00 and I stopped to make tea. Tonight, it was a taco roll filled with the other pack of that spicy tomato and kidney bean sauce stuff that I found in the freezer a week or two back. And it was just as delightful as the other pack was when I tried that. I wish that I could remember what was in it, or maybe it was something that my friend made when he was here just now.

And afterwards, I had some pineapple chunks with some home-made chocolate ice cream that I’d made a few months back and had forgotten about. That was nice too.

Tomorrow, I might try one of the curries that I made a couple of weeks ago. That should be nice too.

What else that seems to be nice is that I’m back eating regularly again, at long last. Still no lunch, though, but a cooked meal at night is as important as my breakfast, even if I can’t find much to tempt me.

But all of that is tomorrow. After tea, that was when I seem to think that I went for a ride on the porcelain horse and fell asleep. But honestly, I really can’t remember. But now, late as it is, I’m off to bed when I’ve finished what needs to be done. It’s dialysis tomorrow, so don’t expect much sense out of me tomorrow night.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about curry … "well, one of us has" – ed … someone walked through the doorway of a building and asked "can I have a chicken tikka masala with rice, please?"
The woman behind the counter replies "but this is a library, sir."
"I’m terribly sorry. Can I have a chicken tikka masala with rice, please?" he whispers.

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Wednesday 10th December 2025 – I HAVE HAD …

… visitors around today.

Or, rather, visitor. One of the other inhabitants rang me up to see if I was in. When I told him that I was, he came down for a sociable chat.

That’s what I like about this building. There’s a solidarity among the inhabitants that you don’t seem to find in many other places these days.

Having said that, I wish that I could have found some solidarity during the night to rock me back to sleep when I awoke unexpectedly.

Last night, I hadn’t rushed very quickly through the things that I needed to do. It was round about 23:30 when I finally went to bed, in some kind of hope that, after the turbulent times the previous night, I might at least manage seven hours sleep before the alarm were to go off.

That was why I was so disappointed when I awoke at … errr … 00:15. I’d hardly had time to go off to sleep. What was worse was that I couldn’t go back to sleep. I lay there, vegetating, for a whole four hours until in the end I was totally fed up.

At that point, about 05:10, I decided that I may as well take advantage of the early start, so I heaved myself out of bed. I wrote the notes for the two tracks that will join the first of the two radio programmes that I had been preparing.

Having written them, I dictated them, edited them and then assembled the programme. By the time that the alarm should have gone off (I’d switched it off when I left the bed), the programme was up and running at exactly the right length after some judicious editing.

After that, I went into the bathroom and sorted myself out and then into the kitchen to make my hot ginger, honey and lemon drink and to take my medication.

Back in here, I had a listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night. My mother was in some kind of a kitchen somewhere to do with cookery. We kids were waiting outside to hear the results. While I was looking out of the window, I noticed a second-hand car site at the side of the hotel where we were. One of the vehicles that they had on the forecourt was a turquoise and white Ford Corsair estate. It looked beautiful, so I said to my mother that if she wins, I’ve seen the car that we should have, and we can all go away. However, she didn’t seem to be all that interested. Later on, I was out in my van and came to a weird junction where you had to cross over an island to reach the other side to turn left. On this island was a load of tram tracks. As I was approaching this island, some young kid on a pair of roller skates came roaring down the hill. I could see that this kid was going to turn in front of me where the tram tracks were. Once I was sure that that was the way in which he was going, I put my foot on the brakes of the van, but he saw me, panicked and fell over. I leaned out of the van to ask him if he was OK, but he picked himself up – and fell over again. At that moment, an ambulance appeared, picked up the boy and disappeared. I saw the boy’s photo many years later in an ancient news report. But while I was in the hotel with my mother and was moving around, I noticed that I wasn’t using my crutches, so I happened to mention it to her. Later on still, I was out for a walk around the park. When we reached the far end, there was a wire across the entrance and you had to climb over or climb under it. I reached the entrance and threw my front leg over it, pulled my rear leg up behind me, but of course it couldn’t go very far and I became tangled in the wire. All of the local passers-by had to help me untangle myself and then I could move on. It was the most memorable Christmas that I’d had, this particular one at that time

My mother being in a cookery competition would be a surprise to anyone who had eaten a meal at our house in the past. I shan’t go into detail because it brings back far too many unhappy memories of what she used to serve up. However, I do remember that it was because of her cooking that my brother and I began to experiment with baking cakes.

We also used to have a second-hand car sales yard across the road from where we lived in Davenport Avenue. On one occasion it had a Ford Corsair 1500 GT for sale, a dark red saloon, and how I used to admire it.and wish that I had the £195 to buy it. The Corsairs were beautiful cars, but not as nice as the Ford Classic, which was probably the most beautiful British car to ever grace the roads.

As for what the boy on the roller skates was doing, I have no idea. He doesn’t seem to fit in at all. The bit about being tangled up in a fence would probably be par for the course if I were to try to climb over a fence in my present state, and once again, we’re going places without our crutches.

Isabelle the Nurse came along as usual, and we had a discussion about the ‘flu jab and the Covid booster that I’m supposed to have. She’ll do the ‘flu jab with no problems (the injection is actually in my fridge even as we speak) provided that the dialysis centre says that I’m healthy enough.

The Covid injection is a different matter. The wholesale injections only come in packs of six, so she needs five more patients to sign up before she can order a packet. However, she assures me that I’m on the waiting list.

After she left, I made breakfast and read some more of Thomas Codrington’s ROMAN ROADS IN BRITAIN.

Today, we’re supposed to be strolling down Akeman Street but as usual, I’ve been sidetracked elsewhere. Back into the Scottish borders, in fact.

A chance remark led me to look for the Roman fort of Bremenium in Northumberland and the chance remark that "across the stream is the site of a temporary marching camp". Of course, I had to go for a look, and it was WELL WORTH THE VISIT .

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that a few days ago, we talked about the collection of different Roman camps at Chew Green. There’s mention of a road from Bremenium to Chew Green with a large Roman camp halfway along the road. Once more, I went for a wander around. So HERE’S ANOTHER ONE to add to your collection.

After breakfast, I had plenty of things to do, but I was interrupted by the arrival of my neighbour.

It’s very nice to see people, that’s for sure, and neighbours even more so. I made coffee for us and we had a good chat about this and that, which was nice. He stayed for about half an hour or so and as he left, I told him that he was welcome to come anytime. I know that I’m not the most sociable of people but I have to make an effort.

Back in here, I made a start on editing the recording for the next radio programme. However, I knocked off at some point to go to make a cake.

In the end, I decided on a fruit cake. I have plenty of sultanas and there were some figs left over from the Christmas pudding. I diced the figs into small pieces, mixed them with the raisins and than tipped them into a typical cake mix

As I said the other day, I baked it for longer on a lower heat lower down in the oven and it seems to have baked really well. I wish that I knew why the tops of my cakes keep on cracking, though.

Back in here, I finished off editing, assembling the programme, choosing the final track, writing and dictating the notes for that, and then assembling the programme completely. So that’s two radio programmes completed today.

The programme might have been finished earlier too, except that for about half an hour or so, I crashed out. No surprise, seeing how short my night was.

Tea was mashed potato, veggies and a slice of vegan pie, followed by a slice of my delicious fruitcake with chocolate soya sauce.

So dialysis tomorrow, and how I am not looking forward to that. I suppose that I’d better wander off to bed and make the most of what’s left of the night.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about my mother’s cooking … "well, one of us has" – ed … I remember as a kid watching a film about Dracula and dashing in to tell my father.
"There’s a film on the telly and a man just killed Dracula with a stake."
"That’s nothing" he replied. "Your mother can do that with a plate of egg and chips."

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Tuesday 7th November 2023 – I HAD PLENTY …

… of time to recover from my exertions this afternoon at the Centre de Re-education. The vehicle that came to pick me up was 90 minutes late.

What I expect actually happened was that the vehicle that should have come for me picked up someone else because there was a driver from another ambulance company wandering around for ages trying to find her passenger.

And it’s just as well too because after the night that I’d had, I needed a good rest, although I doubted if I would be so lucky as to have one.

It was another one of these extremely mobile nights where there was a lot going on here and there. Plenty of stuff on the dictaphone as I was to discover later, and I was sure that there was much more to it than that which I recorded too.

Anyway, when the alarm went off I staggered to my feet and went off in search of my medication.

Back in here afterwards I did the very final version of this important letter that I have to write, and then I had to print off the details of my medication to take to the Centre this afternoon.

Surprisingly, there are 14 medicaments on the list, but I’m actually only taking 10. I know about 2 that I’ve stopped taking, but I’m quite curious about the others.

It’s not easy to double-check either as the prescriptions are in Flemish and the trade names of medication in Belgium are quite often different here in France. It’s pretty much some kind of inspired guesswork to fathom in out.

For example, there’s a product that I have to take that contains “Natrium”, which is unknown in France. However, the chemical formula Na refers to sodium and once you realise that, you can work it out. My ‘O’ Level Latin didn’t go to waste. But if only all of it was so easy.

After that I prepared for my Welsh lesson. I took my time at it too but regrettably I crashed out while doing so. The strain of last night was obviously far too much.

In between all of that I was having a chat on the internet with Alison and with Claire. It’s totally bizarre but everyone whom I know seems right now to be ill.

However, that’s not really all that much of a surprise. We’re all pretty much of a similar age and it’s catching up with all of us.

It reminds me of 5 years ago when I was in Liège and met a guy with whom I went to school years ago and who now lives in Munich. We were in a restaurant eating a meal, surrounded by tables with all these cute young girls sitting there eating, and we were talking about our medication.

That was when I finally decided that I was getting old. Prior to that, I always understood that someone who was old was someone 10 years older than me, no matter what age I actually was.

But kids have a habit of deflating your ego. I remember when I started to see Laurence 25 or so years ago and she brought her daughter Roxanne along with her. We were playing guessing games.
"Guess how old I am" I asked six year old Roxanne
"A hundred" she replied, without even drawing breath.

Much of the Welsh lesson passed quite well and I was quite pleased with that, but not so the rest of it.

We usually stop for 10-15 minutes for a coffee break after a couple of hours and so I went for a strip-down wash, seeing as I’m still quite wary about going into the bath for a shower.

And have you any idea how long it takes me to put on clean socks? I am really having the most extraordinary difficulty in performing even the most simple of tasks these days.

The car came for me bang on time and so I struggled down the stairs and outside, and we set off for the Centre de Re-education.

It’s a fantastic place, formerly one of the biggest and most luxurious hotels in the Baie de Granville.

It was requisitioned by the Germans in 1940 and after the Americans captured the town in 1944 it was badly damaged during the infamous German raid from the Channel Islands in the early Spring of 1945 when a detachment of German troops landed in the town and stole a freighter laden with coal from right under the noses of the Americans.

After that it was left semi-derelict until it was converted and it is probably one of the most impressive places that I’ve visited.

As it happens I actually know one of the girls who works here. She was one of the physiotherapists who worked on me in the days when I could walk and used to go twice a week to that centre by the station.

But anyway, a young girl gave my legs a workout and spent some time searching around for damaged nerve ends and the like. And I have to say that she can massage my clavicles any time she likes. There have to be some benefits of being ill.

The next session was a series of “time trials”. They have a kind-of obstacle course and the equivalent of a “measured mile” and I had to negotiate all of it against the clock.

And then I had to wait.

But I now have my programme for the next couple of weeks and it includes a chat with a social worker and also a representative of that body about which I’ve talked previously that it concerned with autonomy and keeping people in their homes as long as possible.

Strangely enough, climbing back up the stairs to here was probably the easiest that it has been for a couple of weeks. It’s probably just a coincidence or maybe even wishful thinking, or maybe it’s that the trousers into which I changed earlier today aren’t as tight as the previous ones.

On the way up I bumped into one of my neighbours, and I was glad to see him. He’s also disabled and has had his car converted to hand controls. I wanted to pick his brains about where he had it done.

After my hot chocolate and biscuits I transcribed the dictaphone notes. I was being interviewed by someone who was wearing some kind of badge that wasn’t the usual badge that I would have expected someone in that position to have been wearing. Just as the interview began and before I could ask too many questions about it I had a falling sensation again in bed and awoke with a frightful start.

It was exactly the sensation that I have when my right leg gives out and I cascade to the floor, and it was really strange that I had exactly the same feeling when I was lying horizontally in bed. As I’ve said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … there aren’t ‘arf some strange things that go on during the night that have been brought to … errr … light during this project.

And then I’d had a whole pile of homework to do – an enormous amount of it. It was all in various textbooks and on line. I needed to make a start on it but as usual there were all these different distractions etc that were preventing me until I finally managed to sit down at the computer and open one of the workbooks. There was something else happening in this dream about moving around in Shavington and something yet again about a group of us children being divided up into 2 teams by some kind of teacher for a game of rounders. Where that all fitted in I really don’t know but I do remember quite a lot about this trying to sit down and make a start on all of this homework that I had to do.

Later on I’d been out to do some shopping. I was back home in my apartment trying to sort it out and put it away. There were some things that were confusing and I didn’t know exactly where to put them. There was also some flour that i’d bought to make some kind of fruit bread so I threw the flour across to one particular pile on the table but it didn’t arrive. I thought that I must have miscalculated the weight and while it was in the air it must have fallen to the floor. I had a good look round but couldn’t see anything at all around that related to the food that I’d just bought.

Back with this dream about shopping again. I was trying to put everything on the correct shelves but there was so much that needed to be sorted out, things that I hadn’t actually bought before but there was no room for it. I had to start to shuffle everything around and squeeze things up in order to make more room to spread out and sort out my shopping that I’d just received.

And with the manoeuvres of just now, when I’d organised my things I fell over onto the ground but no-one noticed. Once I’d caught my breath I put my hands up to the table to try to raise myself up but at that moment a woman who happened to catch sight of me and hadn’t realised what was going on let out a great yell. She was really shocked. And interestingly, this was something that I dictated in French by the way.

Finally there was another one of these Government safety reports published during the night that laid bare a lot of the failings of the Government with regard to security breaches etc. Most importantly it continued on to say how the Government was trying very hard to shift the blame onto the ordinary people. Of course it wasn’t the people who were talking indiscreetly and the people don’t know any of the secrets anyway. If the people did know any secrets the fact would be that it would have been from leaks in the Government security system that those leaks had come into the public domain. A couple of journalists were tearing quite savagely into the Government last night with this report that they had published.

Later on I wrote out a few more notes for the radio programme on which I’m working, and had a chat on line with my cleaner. We need to change her hours around, what with me having to go out tomorrow afternoon.

And I’m having a visit on Friday afternoon too. I wonder what that’s all about.

Tea tonight was a taco roll made with some of the stuffing left over from Monday, with rice and veg. Tomorrow I’ll have another leftover curry and naan bread.

But let’s see how things go tomorrow down the road. The hard work is going to begin and as long as they can make some progress – or, at least, retard the deterioration – I’ll be happy. But with the Social Services and APA being involved, things are starting to happen.

And that can only be a good thing.

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Tuesday 2nd May 2017 – THAT’S ME FINISHED!

Yes, I’m thoroughly whacked and I’ll be off to bed in a minute, where I’ll sleep until my name changes to Eric van Winkle.

It all started going wrong last night. I’d been too busy chatting and ended up going to bed quite late (for me just recently anyway). And then it took me ages to drop off to sleep. It seemed like for ever.

But sleep I must have done because I was off on my travels during the night again.

There were four of us working in an office. Our job was to oversee the writing of laws for a particular community. But suddenly three of us were transferred to law enforcement, which was not a very desirable job. It turned out that our fourth colleague had “invented” a gadget that had actually been something that we had all worked on, but he had claimed the rights to it and persuaded our boss that it was his. As a result, he was given the department all to himself and he had even gone and had a sign put on his desk that he was “lawmaker” before anything official had even been announced. I took this gadget down to the boss to explain to him about how we had done it but he refused to listen. I was so incensed by all of this that I was all for strangling him and ended up fighting with him like you would fight with an annoying cat.

The alarm awoke me this morning and hearing movement about, I went to join Liz for breakfast before she went off to work. And then I went for a quick trip out, as far as the boulangerie in the village for bread, seeing as how we didn’t have very much.

By the time that I returned, Terry was up and about. And then we set to work.

First task was to demolish a wall in the kitchen here. Terry was swinging the hammer and I was cleaning uo and taking the rubbish down to the trailer ready for the tip. By the time that we had finished, Terry’s mate had arrived so we insulated the kitchen ceiling and then plasterboarded it.

We had lunch after that, and then spent the rest of the afternoon constructing the studding for the plasterboarding on the walls throughout the kitchen.

By the time that 19:00 came round we were all completely exhausted. It took us an hour to recover before we could even put the tea in the microwave.

And I’m supposed to be ill too! I will be after all of this, I’ll tell you.

So I wonder what will be on the cards tomorrow, apart from more of the same.

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