I’ve been to the hospital today and following an x-ray it’s been discovered that I’ve broken two bones in my right hand.
It’s all swathed in plaster right now and that has set rigid so that I can’t move it. Only my left hand is free, and if you consider how long it has taken me to type this, you’ll understand.
During the next couple of days I’ll have to work out another system but for now you can have some peace and quiet

Use your phone to dictate text. I’m pretty sure we’ll all be mightily amused by Google’s crap understanding of English.
I have a plan that’s even more cunning than that
More cunning than one of Baldrick’s master plans?