Category Archives: Eric Hall

Wednesday 24th June 2026 – I AM FEELING …

… a little better today. So much so that

I haven’t gone back to bed at all today
I’ve actually managed to do some work

What about that for a day?

It wasn’t going to be like that, judging by last night. I was in bed by 22:30 and much to my surprise, I went to sleep almost immediately. But not for long, though. Round about 01:00, I awoke with another coughing fit and a need to go to walk the parapet.

Once I’d organised all of that, I came back to bed to try to go back to sleep, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t manage to drop off.

However, at 05:52 precisely, I suddenly awoke, bolt-upright as I sometimes do. So I must have been asleep, but for how long, I’ve no idea. But I wasn’t tired so I must have managed something decent.

After two or three minutes, I raised myself from the Dead and went for another ride on the porcelain horse, then into the bathroom for a good wash and to change my clothes.

Back in here, the first thing that I did was to listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night.

We were sitting in one of my old Ford Transits, me, Seren and there was a third person too who might have been Seren’s grandmother. We were discussing recipes so I happened to jokingly mention “here is one of Seren’s that she invented while hunting for llamas up in the High Andes many years ago”. I began to talk about different products, and she came up with “High Andes hunting llama”. Are you going to take me?” I thought “maybe one year, when we are rich and famous”. But I have friends in Normandy who have llamas and I thought that perhaps one weekend we’d go across the Channel, stay for a weekend there and go to see this llama herd, but I didn’t want to say anything out loud because you can easily disappoint someone by promising something that you can’t actually deliver in the first place so it’s better to not actually say anything.

Strangely, at this precise period when all of this would have happened, I didn’t actually have a Ford Transit.

And it’s certainly true that I have friends here who have a herd of llamas, but I didn’t meet them until long, long after these events would have taken place.

Here they are, in all their glory, all three of them … "the llamas, not the friends" – ed … enjoying the evening sunlight in central Normandy.

As well as that, the chance of going anywhere with Grandma in a Ford Transit would be absolute zero and even less than that. A Rolls-Royce or nothing, if you please.

By the time that I’d finished, I was dying of thirst so I went into the kitchen for a disgusting drink. If I’m going to drink something, I may as well drink something healthy.

There were a few other things to do, and then Isabelle the Nurse arrived, wearing shorts this morning. She wasn’t in such a rush as yesterday, so I was allowed into the kitchen for the treatment.

Once she’d left, I resisted the temptation to go back to bed and went to make some breakfast – the first meal for forty-eight hours. And coffee too!

While I was eating, I was reading my new book, “The Mediaeval Findings At Minnis Bay, Birchington, Site Of The Lost Settlement Of Gore End, Limb Of The Cinque Port Of Dover” by Trevor and Vera Gibbons. This was something that I downloaded FROM ACADEMIA.EDU but I can’t find the link now.

As regular readers of this rubbish will recall, I have a strong affection for Minnis Bay. When we used to go to Birchington to stay with Auntie Gertie (honestly!), Minnis Bay beach was just a ten-minute walk across the fields and we would always be there during those summers of the late 50s and early 60s.

Back in here, I vegetated for a while and eventually began to look at that radio programme that needed finishing from last week. It took longer than I was anticipating, but eventually, all of the notes were written and I felt quite proud of myself for managing to do it, despite everything.

This called for a little celebration, so I duly honoured myself with another little sleep for good luck.

My faithful cleaner awoke me, bringing in a couple of boxes of juice. I’ve run out and I’m not likely to pass a Leclerc order for a couple of weeks yet so I sent her a message after breakfast. She duly carried out her task and brought me the results.

We had a good chat for a while, and then she wandered off to eat her lunch. I went for a disgusting drink and my lunchtime medication.

Back in here, I had a nice relax for a couple of hours – in fact, until about 15:00 – when I began the next radio programme. And by the time that I finished, all of the music had been chosen, re-edited, reformatted, paired and segued. That leaves me tomorrow morning and Friday to write the notes.

Anyway, there are just a few more things to do, and then I’m off to bed, for a good sleep, I hope.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about llamas … "well, one of us has" – ed … there were two guys walking past the farm when they noticed the animals.
"Look at that bunch of llamas over there" said one.
"Herd, herd" said the second. "Herd of llamas."
"of course I’ve heard of llamas."
"No, a llama herd."
"Why should I care if a llama heard? I have no secrets to keep from a llama."

Tuesday 23rd June 2026 – IT HAS BEEN …

… slightly cooler today than yesterday. In fact, the temperature barely struggled up to 41.5°C, according to the thermometer sender outside, and that’s impressive. Inside my room, with the windows wide open and the fan going full-tilt, it was barely 29°C at one point.

Yes, we’ve had worse than that.

Not that any of it did me much good.

As I mentioned in my last post, I was in bed just after 20:00, hoping for an early night and a good sleep, but some hopes!

It was too hot to sleep without the fan and too noisy to sleep with the fan, and so in the end, after much binding in the marsh, I decided that the coolness was the way to go. I lay awake all night, and I mean “all night”, too, listening to the fan and watching the light coming round the edges of the shutters, changing from light to dark and then slowly back to light again.

At round about 02:00, I had another mega-coughing fit which led to several bouts of vomiting, so many that in fact I lost count. It’s becoming really bad, this. Let’s see what the doctor’s prescription can do about this later.

When the alarm went off, I went in search of my clothes that had somehow become scattered around the apartment and then went to start work, such as I felt like doing.

There was no need to check the dictaphone for dreams. If you can’t go to sleep, you can’t dream. And it was probably the effect of this new family who appeared from nowhere working on my farm and driving my old Kubota B-1220 tractor that put me off everything.

Never mind, though, there were still plenty of other things to do to take me up to Isabelle the Nurse’s arrival time so I wasn’t bored.

When she turned up, she insisted on treating me in my bedroom which was the wrong thing to do. And she appeared in her short skirt and tee-shirt in concession to the weather, which was already at 30°C outside.

She talked about nothing very much, and after she left, I began to think about breakfast but instead saw this lovely, long, comfortable bed. That decided it for me – I switched the alarm on for 11:15 and hit the hay.

And dream? Didn’t I just dream. Hordes of hallucinations fleeting across my brain from right to left, far too many to notice and to record. From just trying to save one, I ended up with none at all and that was rather desperate.

For some reason, I was up at about 11:00 and at that point began to make a very desultory start on yesterday’s notes. Here and there, doing bits and pieces while I could in between bouts of falling asleep. But eventually, it was the sleep that won.

My faithful cleaner awoke me when she arrived. It’s shower day today of course, and I can’t postpone it yet again. I’ll be picked up on radar everywhere I go, so I reluctantly headed that way. And it was much less difficult than I imagined and I felt like a new man afterwards.

She helped me out and I dried myself and found some new clothes to wear. This is more like it.

After she left, I carried on with yesterday’s notes and now they are on line, at long last.

But then I had some very bad news from Canada.

My faithful sidekick Cujo the Killer Cat crossed the Rainbow Bridge last night. She was adopted as a tiny kitten twenty-odd years ago and even when I last saw her, three or so years ago, she was in the best of health, teaching the new kitten to hunt and catch mice.

However, her age finally caught up with her yesterday, and that was a real shame. She might have been quite violent and aggressive with the local wildlife, but I always found her cute and sweet.

Once I’d digested the news, I went back to bed for a couple of hours. I was that tired again. This has been a horrible day all together.

But now I’m awake again, but not for long. I’ll sort out my evening medication and then I’m going back to bed, and I don’t care. I’ve had no food either but I’d rather be asleep than eating anything. If I have a good sleep tonight, I’ll feel so much better.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about showers … "well, one of us has" – ed … I once sent Nerina to a health farm for a week, where she had one of these super-duper showers.
The next day, she rang me to tell me about it. "You, know, it was amazing. I’m feeling a new woman after that."
"Feeling a new woman?" I mused. "It’s funny you should mention that …"

Monday 22nd June 2026 – WHAT A DAY …

… yesterday was. New temperature records set all over France. When I left dialysis at … errr … 19:00 this evening, it was 42.5°C and the heat was insufferable.

Last night was quite insufferable too. When I finally went to bed, it was quite late yet again but the night was hot and clammy and I couldn’t settle down at all. Although I managed to go to sleep, it didn’t last long, and I awoke with one of those mega-coughing fits that I’ve been having just recently.

Once again, it went on for hours and I forget how many times I actually vomited. But just like last night, I managed to bring it to a halt eventually by sitting on the edge of the bed.

Once the cough had succeeded in calming down, I lay back on the bed and tried to go to sleep. However, I was drifting in and out of a rhythm of “cough-sleep-cough-sleep” and couldn’t really settle down at all.

At one stage, I looked at the clock and it read “06:19” – just ten minutes before the alarm, so I found some energy from somewhere and swung my feet out of bed. When the alarm went off, they were still there so that counts as an early start.

It took the usual long while for me to dress and find the motivation to move over to the chair at the desk and computer.

There was plenty to do, but one of the things that didn’t need transcribing was the dictaphone notes, because once again, there was nothing on the dictaphone. That’s hardly a surprise considering that my sleep was so turbulent, but it is disappointing.

Instead, there were plenty of other things to do until the nurse came round.

He was actually early today, probably in a rush to go back home, seeing as his round finishes today for a week. He didn’t stay long and soon cleared off, leaving me to make my breakfast and read some more of EBURACUM OR YORK UNDER THE ROMANS by C Wellbeloved.

We’ve finally finished the book today after spending a long time reading a lengthy chapter on Roman roads. I can’t say that I’m sorry to finish it either. For someone who has a genuine interest in the history of York, it might well be very interesting, but for someone like me, I’ve read better books. I wonder what tomorrow might bring in the way of books.

Breakfast was over by about 09:25, and so I decided to make an executive decision. And for the benefit of new readers, of whom there are more than just a few these days, an executive decision is one that, if it turns out to be the wrong decision, the person who made it is executed. I decided that I would set the alarm for 11:15 and go back to sleep.

In actual fact, I was once more in this stage of tiredness where I couldn’t function properly and it seemed to be an appropriate thing to do. I have to pull myself through all of this, otherwise we’re never going to go anywhere.

When the alarm went off, I went into the bathroom for a good wash and shave and to pretty myself up in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant this afternoon and then went into the kitchen to find a disgusting drink and my midday medication.

My cleaner turned up at that point to apply my anaesthetic and to sort me out ready for dialysis. That takes much more effort than you might imagine.

The taxi was bang on time to pick me up, however, we had to go to Sartilly to pick up the other passenger who comes with us, so we were late arriving in the end.

It was stifling in the dialysis centre. They’d moved all of the more fragile patients to the new air-conditioned clinic so it was only we more hardy ones who where in the usual building. We were all crammed into one room that had been filled with fan after fan after fan so it was hard to move around.

There was so much chaos there that, from an arrival of 13:50, I was finally connected at 14:50 and that was really depressing.

The doctor (not Emilie the Cute Consultant) came to see me and I told her of the continued problems with the cough. She examined me and prescribed me a temporary medication while she awaits a full report.

As usual, I was the last to be uncoupled and the last out of the building. There was a Mercedes waiting for me too, which was nice, but the heat was incredible. 42.5°C, and back here, it was 41°C. My cleaner helped me in and I collapsed onto a chair.

After she left, I went straight to bed. I couldn’t take any more, being completely tired and exhausted. I decided to start again tomorrow and see how that will go.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about Romans… "well, one of us has" – ed … one of the oldest Roman jokes began with two Romans meeting in the forum.
"Tha slave that I bought from you a week ago died yesterday" said one.
"Really?" said the second. "He was with me for twenty-five years and in all that time he didn’t even do that once. "

Sunday 21st June 2026 – FOR THE FIRST …

… time for a long, long time, I’ve had a day where I can truly say that I have had a real Day of Rest and done no work of any type today.

Round about 23:00 was when everything was completed and I could slide in underneath the covers. And wasn’t I grateful for that? I didn’t take long in going off to sleep and that was that, at least for a couple of hours.

Round about 02:20, I awoke with one of the biggest coughing fits that I have ever had. It was still going on at 02:55 and I forget how many times I had vomited, the fit was so intense. It was certainly many more than four.

Eventually, it must have calmed down because I somehow managed to go off to sleep again. And there I lay until I awoke, “some time later”.

The reason for the awakening was the same that has provoked a wake-up on several occasions just recently, so after a while, I began to raise myself from the Dead. 07:50 it was, so I thought that I’d better hurry before the nurse comes around.

It was 07:59 when I came back to bed. “Plenty of time”, I thought to myself. And there was, too, because I’d actually gone back to sleep by the time he came in, and he awoke me.

After he left, having seen to my legs and feet while I was in bed, I went back to sleep again, and there I stayed until I next awoke – round about 10:35. By 11:00 I was in the kitchen beginning to make my breakfast – porridge and coffee, of course, all followed by homemade croissants.

While I was eating, I was reading some more of EBURACUM OR YORK UNDER THE ROMANS by C Wellbeloved.

We’re still on Roman roads, and I have a feeling that we will be here for a while. He’s struggling over the modern names of various Roman forts, as many people still do today, but we can at least thank our lucky stars that, so far, he’s managed to keep “Richard of Cirencester” well out of the way.

Back in here, I went to have a listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night. But to my dismay, there was nothing on there at all. I’m always disappointed when I have a night like that, with absolutely nothing going on in the way of excitement.

Instead, I had a prowl through the internet and discovered that we’re back in football again. Many clubs playing in European competition are having a few warm-up games prior to their opening matches in two weeks’ time, and Northern Irish team Larne were playing away at our old favourites, Stranraer FC.

Stranraer usually record their games, and sure enough, THIS GAME WAS TOO with commentary by the legendary pair of Laurence Nelson and Brian Martim, two of the best TV commentators currently broadcasting.

After the match had finished, I really didn’t do anything at all. No bread-making, no pizza-making, no nothing. Instead, I had a little explore of cyberspace, mainly Hannibal’s campaign in Italy in the early days of Rome, and once again, I’m learning a lot. There are, of course, the stories of the Battle of Lake Trasimene and the Battle of Cannae, but there were several other battles that were equally disastrous for the Romans, such as the Battle of Ticinus and the Battle of Trebia, and more besides.

As well as that, I was engaged in a lengthy online discussion … "or heated argument" – ed … about a child of two separated parents. If the mother of the child is her legal guardian and she lives with her, but the mother has to go into a hospital urgently for a stay that might be for a long time, so that the child goes to live with her father, who is responsible for completing all of the paperwork regarding the new situation? The mother or the father?

There was also the question of whether the social services come into the picture at some point.

And it was all becoming somewhat overheated at some point, although I had no idea why.

At teatime, I went for my food, the other half of this vegan ham, vegan cheese and vegan salad that I made yesterday. And everything that I eat really is tasting of nothing but salt these days.

The sandwich took well over an hour to eat this evening, mainly due to me falling into several of these different cataleptic fits of the type that I used to have just before starting dialysis. I was hoping that they had long gone.

And now, I’m wishing that I had long gone because I want to go to bed, go to sleep and stay there. It’s past my bedtime, way past it already.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about Hannibal’s campaign in Italy … "well, one of us has" – ed …, Someone once asked me "what do you get if you cross the Alps with several elephants?"
"Ahh yes" I said. "Victory at Cannae!"

Saturday 20th June 2026 – IT WAS A …

… better day today. But that’s not saying much. It couldn’t possibly have been any worse than yesterday. That’s definitely going to be a day that I’d rather forget.

So last night, round about 22:35, I slid into bed and went straight to sleep until … errr … all of about midnight when I had to leave the bed for reasons that any person of my age will understand.

Once I was back in bed, I was attacked by a huge coughing fit – huge to such an extent that I vomited four times. That really upset me – I was hoping that I was long past this stage.

After that, I must have somehow managed to go back to sleep, because I awoke again later. It was quite light outside, although not completely light, so I estimated the time to be about 05:45. And when I checked, it was actually 05:38. How’s that for a guess?

The reason why I awoke was because of the same reason as earlier, so I did what was necessary and then went to wash and change.

When the alarm should have gone off, I was already at my desk, working out where I’d been during the night.

There was a competition in the Crewe Chronicle about the most memorable moment at Crewe Alexandra. Now Seren, who had only been living in Crewe a few weeks, she suggested that it was the time when President Trump came to kick off a match there. He ran up to the ball, slipped on the wet turf and fell flat on his rear end with his legs in the air. She wondered what she had to do because that was the moment she would like to win the competition. I told her that the first thing she needs to do is to write to the Crewe Chronicle on the form in the paper to say that that’s what she wants. Then she needs to ask all of her friends at school, then all of the people at Girl Guides on a Tuesday night and then all of the people who go to Junior Youth Club on Friday and get them to write in too. Then if she rounds up enough people, that particular moment will win. But I certainly remembered it being extremely funny too.

Considering that this dream is based in and around 1987, “President Trump” has not yet appeared on the scene. But I for one would simply roar if he were ever to do such a thing as that.

The nurse turned up as usual and asked me how I was. I told him of all my woes but he didn’t really take much notice. He dealt with my legs and feet and then left me alone.

Once he had gone, I made breakfast and read some more of EBURACUM OR YORK UNDER THE ROMANS by C Wellbeloved.

Today, we’ve made a start on Roman roads and, so far, the good news is that “Richard of Cirencester” and his fraudulent map have not yet entered the discussion. Instead, we’re having an overall discussion and a lesson on road-building. That should keep us busy for a while.

He’s also pointed out another book to which he has referred while writing this chapter on roads. It’s an old French book from 1700 with six hundred and sixty-nine pages, and I’ve actually found a copy of it online to download for free. So that’s now added to the reading list.

Back in here, I made a start on last night’s notes, but it was no good. I couldn’t carry on and I was typing all kinds of nonsense … "so what’s new?" – ed … so in the end, I set the alarm for 12:30 and went back to bed.

Just for a change, I didn’t fall asleep again after I’d switched the alarm off. But I’m not going to imply that I was in any kind of hurry. It was more like 13:25 when I was back seated at my desk again.

There were still the notes from last night to complete, so I made a start on them. But it was a long, slow, weary me that made a start on writing and I knew that it would take forever. I wasn’t wrong either – it took me a good ninety minutes to finish them.

There was also a lengthy discussion going on about mediaeval siege engines and siege machines, and naturally, I couldn’t resist joining in to add my two ha’p’orth about it all.

And then, having had a desultory chat all afternoon online with Rosemary, she eventually rang me up. However, I don’t really know what’s happened to us just recently, because instead of a chat that usually lasts several weeks, it just lasted nineteen minutes and twenty-one seconds.

Tea tonight could have been anything, but it ended up being a rye bread sandwich of vegan ham, vegan cheese and salad. That was just about all that I could manage. At least it was something, though.

So now, I’m off to bed, hoping for a long lie-in and wondering how that will work out in the end. I bet it’s nothing like what I’ll be expecting.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about sieges … "well, one of us has" – ed … during the Hundred Years’ War, the French were besieging the town of Rouen, held by the English.
The French commander came up to the French general leading the siege and said "If you can capture Rouen within three months, I’ll give you a hundred thousand gold pieces."
Three days later, the general went up to the king and said "Rouen is taken, my Lord."
"That’s incredibly quick" said the King. "How on earth did you manage it?"
"Simple" replied the general. "I offered the English fifty thousand gold pieces to clear off."

Friday 19th June 2026 – THERE HAVE BEEN …

… some pretty bad days just recently – several of which have been candidates for “the worst day ever”. However, I don’t think that any of them were as bad as last night or today.

It was, as I expected, a busy night last night. The second half of my pizza went into the bin after three or four mouthfuls of what tasted like pure salt, as I said yesterday. Instead, I took a small packet of biscuits into the bedroom.

That didn’t seem to help matters much, and halfway along the road, I just quite simply blew up.

When I awoke, it was 22:40, curled up in my nice, comfy chair, so there wasn’t any point in carrying on. I just crawled into bed and that was that.

It was back to the usual “sleep, cough, sleep, cough” throughout much of the night, although I was asleep when the alarm sounded. It took me a good while to find the motivation and energy to dress and slide over to the computer. I was feeling dreadful.

Nevertheless, once I’d finally arrived there, I switched on the machine and began to transcribe the dictaphone notes.

There was some kind of part-exchange of household scheme going on for older houses where you could exchange your house for another type of house somewhere else in the country or maybe even in the same town. I was interested in this because I thought that I needed a change of scenery so I’d been down to look at a couple of houses, and one that pleased me greatly was a Wolseley 1500, so I set about negotiating for it, but the owner dug her heels in about it so I thought that I’d better find another. I found a really nice one and I was actually due to sign for this but then suddenly, a voice came out … we were down there and then as soon as we came out of this house, the house had been withdrawn from the market minutes before we were due to sign so that was something that really upset me all together.

One thing that I have always thought is that whoever has the capital and finances to launch a house part-exchange system, like we do with cars, is going to clean up and make an absolute mint. And I’m really surprised that no-one has gone into it in a big way. But I can’t see what a Wolseley 1500 would be doing in there.

And having the rug pulled out from underneath me when buying houses is, luckily, something that has never happened to me.

Seren and I were baking and, as usual, there were probably more ingredients on the floor than on the worktop. From there, it was pretty confusing, but we were going to have some kind of visit from some kind of alien. They reckoned that this wouldn’t help matters, our tidiness, very much, so we should probably be doing something else round about now rather than confronting artistic masterpieces as made for the purpose quite simply of causing problems.

Why this dream disintegrated into a pile of confusion is totally beyond me. But the question about an alien being involved in this dream is well-known. Whenever anyone asked “you won’t guess what happened at school/college/work/the pub, etc., today”, the answer always was “a spaceship landed and two little green men climbed out and asked to be taken to your leader.”

The nurse turned up as usual and asked how I was feeling. “Dreadful” was my reply. "Make sure you have a good rest today then" he answered, did his thing and wandered off to complete his morning round.

When he was out of the apartment, I made my breakfast, and while eating, I read some more of EBURACUM OR YORK UNDER THE ROMANS by C Wellbeloved.

By the time I was ready to leave the kitchen, we’d finished “artefacts”, spending, as usual, a long time discussing pottery and coins. They seem to be the major source of artefacts in every book on Roman history.

Back in here, I had a few things to do, including writing up yesterday’s notes, so I made a start. However, I just couldn’t keep going. After several minutes of writing what seemed to be nothing but total gibberish, I set the alarm for 12:30 and climbed back into bed. And I didn’t need much rocking either.

When the alarm went off, I managed to switch it off and said to myself that I’ll be up in a minute. The next thing that I knew was that it was 13:35 and my cleaner was at the door chatting to me. She closed my bedroom door and went about her business while I went back to sleep again. When I finally awoke, at 14:45, it was like the Marie Celeste in here. My cleaner had gone and the place was looking really tidy.

Having had my disgusting drink and my afternoon medication, I came back in here to start writing my notes at long last. And it took much longer than I was anticipating too. Whatever is going on with me right now is just ruining my whole concentration.

When they were finally finished, there were one or two things that needed doing and then it was teatime. Tonight, I used the baked beans with cheese and pepper left over from a while ago, with a vegan sausage and some chips.

Tonight’s tea was delicious and I managed to eat all of it. So after the washing up, I came back in here to start writing my notes. But once more, I was overwhelmed by fatigue. It was another night when I crashed out on the chair instead of working. I’ve no idea what time it was when I awoke, but one thing that I knew for sure was that I was so exhausted that it was a real struggle to find the effort to stand up and go to bed. I didn’t even have the energy to write a note on my blog about the delay.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about aliens … "well, one of us has" – ed … a group of aliens came back to their planet after surreptitiously visiting Earth.
"And they’ve developed nuclear power, and they have these really impressive nuclear weapons." said one of the returning aliens.
"Wow!" said one of the other aliens. "They must be really intelligent!"
"Not at all" replied the first alien. "In fact, they are totally stupid. They’ve built all of these nuclear weapons and they are pointing them at each other."

Thursday 18th June 2026 – YET ANOTHER DAY …

… that hasn’t gone anything like I wanted it to. But that’s not really a surprise because I don’t think that I’ve had a day just recently that has gone according to plan and it’s high time that I pulled myself together and made things work for me.

Fair enough, I finished my work at some kind of reasonable time (although after 22:30) and was soon in bed. I was asleep quite quickly too, but not for long.

Round about 02:00 I awoke with an enormous fit of coughing of the like that I hadn’t seen before, not even during the bad old days of a month or two ago. It went on for an hour with no respite at all, and then after that, it was “cough – sleep – cough – sleep” right the way through to when the alarm went off, when I was actually awake.

Once I’d gathered my wits, etc., I slid over to my comfy chair and began to listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night.

After I left school, I was working as a trainee accountant for a coin-machine company that had coin machines scattered everywhere all over various towns. I was in Crewe, of course, so I was learning my trade at the office in Crewe and one of my tasks was, late at night, usually on a Tuesday because it was quiet, to go round and empty the various machines. What I didn’t realise at first, but I soon did, was that I was always being followed by three men in a green Vauxhall Viva convertible. It turned out that their role was that if I were attacked in the street, they would all pile out of the Vauxhall Viva and give my opponent a severe beating. I wasn’t sure how legal it was, but first of all, it was comforting that I was being looked after like this late at night, but also, I wasn’t sure what was likely to happen to me if someone were attacked and badly beaten and the police came round to talk to me about it, so I was being torn away in two halves here.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that I could see myself being “suckered in” to some kind of criminal enterprise when I was younger. Boredom and the quest for adventure are usually very good motivators for that

And three men following in a dark green Vauxhall Viva convertible (a Mark II Viva, by the way) to protect the cash and not necessarily me would be exactly the kind of thing that I would organise if I were running the show.

We’d found this old bicycle so we were using it to keep in touch with all of the outposts and outlying fortifications for the city of Avranches. We were afraid that the intermission would be over and the fighting would restart imminently so they had sent their guy on a bicycle to me. I was well to the east of the city, covering the bridges at Ponts and making sure that we weren’t outflanked in the town. The guy who arrived on the bike wasn’t very happy at all. He couldn’t understand why he had been chosen, he couldn’t understand why he’d come on this bike or why he was the one who had to do the cycling or not. There was also, in my post, a girl from a previous dream. She was rather the aggressive type so she began to have a row with him. I was just sitting there watching this, but eventually I put my hand in where all the cans and bottles were. I pulled out a can and began to drink it. In the end, the other two calmed down and agreed to cycle off in different directions – the girl went back to London and he went back to Avranches. I went then with my team to defend the eastern flank of Avranches.

Avranches would be a lovely city to defend in a war. It’s situated several hundred feet up on top of a sheer cliff of a ridge that stretches for several miles, with clear views from the top of much of the southern part of the département of La Manche. I would fortify many of the buildings in the town that overlook the cliff, and towards the east, I’d dig in a variety of defensive positions on top of the ridge. My position seems to be on the ridge overlooking the town of Ponts, from where it would be possible for attackers to outflank the town.

At one point in this dream when they began to argue, the girl had come downstairs from somewhere and the boy was down at the far end of this post, so when he saw her, he came back and I had to bend my body out of the way so that he could come past. But when they were doing something with this cup of sausages, I don’t know what I was doing but the guy was coming past me, and as he came past me, the girl climbed onto her bike and cycled away so he did the same in his direction.

So it seemed that I’d stepped back into this dream at some point later, and our two guests cycled away from each other again. But I wonder what they were doing with this cup of sausages.

The nurse came by as usual, bringing his floozy with him. But the bad news is that it’s her last day. Tomorrow is, apparently, report writing and then she returns to the educational establishment from whence she came for the final week before summer break.

After they left, I made my breakfast and read some more of EBURACUM OR YORK UNDER THE ROMANS by C Wellbeloved.

Our discussion on artefacts found in Eburacum has continued, with plenty of “artefacts known to have been found but now lost from view”. And these are just the ones that we know of. There must be scores, if not hundreds, of artefacts found whose existence has never been made known to the World at large.

And somehow, we seem to have entered into a discussion about Roman brick-making. I certainly am learning a lot!

Back in here, there were plenty more things to do, such as to write the notes from yesterday when I was overwhelmed by fatigue and went to bed instead. That wasn’t as easy as it might have been either because I’d forgotten much of what had happened.

Nevertheless, I finished with just about enough to go for a wash and shave before my faithful cleaner came to apply my anaesthetic. It didn’t take her long and she was soon off again, being in a rush as usual.

The taxi was early for a change but we had to go to pick up someone else at the hospital here, someone with whom I’ve travelled before.

We were still early arriving at the dialysis centre, where for some reason, I was put into an individual room – the room which is the farthest possible away from the entrance. They make me work, don’t they?

The time that it took me to walk there meant that I was once again last to be settled so it was 14:25 when they finally finished connecting me and began the procedure.

At first, all went normally and I had no interruptions, which meant that I could have quite a sleep, but later in the session, the machine kept on sounding the alarm every five minutes or so and the nurses came a-runnin’. When the machine sounds the alarm, it pauses the operation until it’s reset so I saw the session lengthen and lengthen all the time.

In the end, they worked out that my blood was coagulating because of the sun shining directly on the machine so they decided to cut short the session with just ten minutes to go. That was disappointing.

But in the time that it took them to come to unplug me and to compress my arm, I may just as well have carried on to the bitter end with the session. It was five past seven when I eventually left the premises and we didn’t return home until ten to eight, having had to go to drop someone else off on the way. Luckily, it was my favourite driver, so I didn’t mind that at all. We had a good chat all the way home.

My cleaner had almost given up waiting for me, but she helped me into the apartment and did her best to organise me, which was very nice.

After she left, I warmed up the other half of the pizza that I made yesterday, but after four mouthfuls, the rest of that went into the bin too. It’s gone back to tasking of nothing but salt, like everything did just after chemotherapy. Instead, I did the washing-up, grabbed a packet of biscuits and came back in here.

There were a few things to do before I started the notes for the day. But I’d barely started them when I was overwhelmed by tiredness, so I abandoned the attempt and went to bed.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about pizza … "well, one of us has" – ed … not many people know this, but Good King Wenceslaus’s favourite meal was pizza.
One of my friends, to whom I told this story, didn’t believe me. "Really?" he asked.
"Yes, he did" I retorted. "And you know how he liked his pizza?"
"No."
"He liked them deep pan, crisp and even."

Wednesday 17th June 2026 – LAST NIGHT, I …

… was actually in bed as late as 21:30, would you believe?

Mind you, there was a very good reason for that. After I’d finished writing my notes at round about 20:00, I just closed my eyes for a little relax, and the next thing that I knew, it was 21:15.

In the present state in which I find myself, I’m not going to turn away the opportunity of a good sleep, regrettable though it is, so it is something that has cheered me up a little rather than disappointed me.

All that was left to do was to do the stats and the backup, and by 21:30 I was sliding into bed under the covers.

The strange thing, though, was that once in bed, I couldn’t go off to sleep. I lay there for hour after hour tossing and turning and hoping that sleep would catch up with me, but to no avail. At one moment, I checked the time and it was 02:20 and I’d still not managed to go to sleep.

At some point, though, I must have done because I suddenly had one of those dramatic awakenings that I sometimes have. I checked the time, and it was 06:13. When the alarm went off, I was sitting on the edge of the bed, half-dressed, so I’m claiming that as an early start.

The first thing that I did was, as usual, listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night.

I was going to this extremely interesting party that was taking place round by Worcester way. There were all kinds of people here, people of my age, people younger, people older, and we all seemed to mix together really quite well. As the party progressed, there were different kinds of things taking place. Someone had arranged for some kind of water feature where we could swim, and there were these two really ancient ladies, one playing a clarinet and one playing an oboe. This party continued, but when it finished, we all had to go to bed but the younger ones of us, we were engaged in tidying up, so we were desperately trying to find hooks on which to hang towels, etc., sorting things out, trying to find out where they went to be put away. I had a necklace of black jet, faced with white stones that I was cleaning by putting it in my mouth and running it around, I don’t know why. At the end, the sound of this clarinet and this oboe coming upstairs and we were told that they were coming upstairs to spend the night here too. As I began to talk to them, they began to tell me about life with JRR Tolkein, how they used to go to all of his parties in Worcestershire, and how marvellous and mysterious they were. And as they carried on talking, I was totally and utterly entranced. There was all this movement and noise, and people rushing around behind me, but I was totally carried away by the conversations of these two old women.

It’s very easy to imagine house parties like this. There are dozens of them in AGATHA CHRISTIE and JEEVES AND WOOSTER films and I for one … "and probably the only one too" – ed … would be quite happy to go to one such and talk to some of the older guests to see what they remember of high society.

Incidentally, throughout these pages, you’ll see links to Amazon products appearing every now and again. Being a Sales Associate of Amazon, I receive a small commission on goods sold via my links. It costs you nothing at all extra, but helps defray … "part of the" – ed … cost of my not-insubstantial web-hosting fees.

There are also links for AMAZON UK, AMAZON USA and, since the recent “troubles”, AMAZON CANADA for the use of my numerous Canadian visitors. As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … I am extremely grateful when someone uses them to make a purchase

And we mustn’t forget that Tolkien was brought up in Worcestershire when he was a child following the family’s return from South Africa.

The nurse came in with his floozy at the usual time to sort out my legs and feet and to fit my elastic socks. After he left, I made my breakfast – the first food I’d had for forty-eight hours – and I was good and ready for it. While I was eating, I was also reading more of EBURACUM OR YORK UNDER THE ROMANS by C Wellbeloved.

At the moment, we’re finishing off religion and beginning to turn our attention to artefacts. And, very regrettably, there are dozens of reports of “in such and such a year, so-and-so was found (and the book gives a long list of its attributes and sometimes even a photograph) but it has been lost to view in the meantime and I have been unable to trace its current whereabouts”.

It’s a really sad state of affairs, the amount of British architecture that has disappeared into private hands.

There were a few private things to do back in here, and then I began to choose, re-edit, reformat, pair and segue the tracks. And that took me right up to lunchtime, so I wandered off for a disgusting drink break and the lunchtime medication.

Back in here, no sooner had I sat down at my desk when Ingrid rang. She must have a camera in here too or else she’s using Rosemary’s. We had a Rosemaryesque chat that went on for an hour and eight minutes about life in the Auvergne, life here in Normandy, life in Paris etc. I think that Isabelle is feeling the strain of solitude.

After our chat was over, I began to write the notes for the radio programme, and now there are only three left to write. Fortunately, they are not going to take me very long to do.

While I was doing it, though, I had the bedroom window open, and my faithful cleaner stuck her head in through the opening so as to have a chat.

Tea tonight was the vegan pizza that I should have had on Sunday, but it wasn’t a success, mainly due to the dough having sat around in the fridge since Sunday. I only served myself half of the pizza, and then I could only eat half of that and the rest went into the bin.

After tea, I came back in here to write my notes but I was overwhelmed by a giant wave of fatigue that completely knocked me out. I wrote some kind of brief note on my blog and went to bed.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about artefacts … "well, one of us has" – ed … the Queen Mother went once to open a village fête.
Crowds of people were milling around er when she was heard to say "Please don’t touch the exhibits."

Tuesday 16th June 2026 – THE OTHER DAY …

… Regular readers of this rubbish will recall that I said that "this has been the worst day of my life so far".

It was just as well that I’d included the “so far” because after today, I really would have been eating humble pie after today’s events.

Last night, I went to bed when my cleaner left, round about 19:30. No food again, but I couldn’t care less. I just wanted my bed. And it didn’t take long to go to sleep either, which was really nice. However, it didn’t last long. Within a few hours, I was back wide-awake again and then I was drifting in and out of consciousness for the rest of the night.

When the alarm went off at 06:29, I was definitely asleep and the sound of BILLY COTTON’S RAUCOUS RATTLE shook me to the roots when it sounded.

THis was certainly one of the most difficult awakenings that I have had – not actually awakening but leaving the bed, and it took all of the willpower that I had, and probably much more besides, to raise myself from the Dead and slide myself onto my comfortable chair.

First job of course was to listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night.

I was taking someone for a walk around Avranches last night But it was the strangest Avranches that I’ve ever seen. It was like some British town of the late Victorian, early Edwardian period with semis and all that kind of thing, and a view across the marsh into the suburbs of the town. I was showing someone where the railings had been cut. They had been cut and taken away from these pretty Victorian walls. I was explaining that in World War II they went to find all the metal that they could, and many people gave up their things like metal fences, metal shutters and so on for the war effort.

Strangely enough, it had been in my mind to do one of these “virtual tours” of Crewe, showing quite clearly the cut-down metal stumps of fences and other remains tha show where ruthless metal recycling had taken place during the war

We had some kind of a commune of something, I suppose, staying in this suburban area of London round by Twickenham, places like that. So many people who had never previously been there said that it was the noisiest place on earth, with tractors going past with their warning sound buzzers, etc. I was being shown around the garden but it was quite night but the conversation carried on anyway. And it was freezing cold that night, but we were walking around and chatting. All of a sudden, it became dramatically daylight. All of the kids gasped in amazement and they began to sort out what they planned to do for the day. It seemed to be confusing the plans because no-one was offering anything to eat or anything to drink so I don’t know why this was happening. In the end, I was fed up of wandering around with these people so I went for a walk around the car park. There was this beaufiful old A60 van THE ONE THAT I USED TO HAVE. I asked someone whose van thai A60 van was and they replied “it’s theirs!”, but they didn’t say who “they” were. I went back to have another look at it but it had gone. Eventually, we all came back and some people were planning on somewhere else, but someone beckoned me over to ask if I wanted a coffee. I replied “yes”, and there was a stool in the wall by where I could sit and still be with the crowds, but all of a sudden, thow people turned up and say in there, leaving me one of these uncomfrtable types of seats on Which to sit. There was a lot more to it than this

Regular readers of this rubbish will recall me mentioning that I’d lived in a commune once. But only for a short while and never again. More capitalist than the capitaists was my opinion.

As for the A60 van, I loved mine and travelled all over the UK in it. Until I could no longer drive, I was on the lookout for another one.

The nurse came round this morning, bringing a floozy with him. She’s doing a nursing college placement with him for a few days.

He did his stuff and after he left, I began to sort out breakfast. However, I soon stopped, came back in here and went to bed. So much for my Welsh course today – the last of the year too.

Before going to sleep, I’d set the alarm for 12:30. I was awake a few minutes before that, but leaving the bed wasn’t easy. I was still in no state to go to the second half of my Welsh course.

Instead, I wrote out the notes for yesterday’s blog and then caught up with my e-mails and did the stats that I’d forgotten to do, interrupted by my faithful cleaner who turned up to do her stuff. She wanted to know if I was going to have a shower but I politely declined this afternoon. I was in no state at all.

After she left, I carried on with my notes and they are now online. There were a few other things to do an then I began to write out the notes for tonight.

Now that they are done, I’m going to take my medication, light the blue touch paper and then retire. I’ve had enough for today and I shall be glad to put it all behind me.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about sleeping … "well, one of us has" – ed … one of my friends once asked me "if you had the choice of sleeping with anyone alive or dead, who would it be?"
"Hmmmm" I said, and after a minute’s thought, I came up with "someone alive, I reckon."

Monday 15th June 2026 – HAVING CRAWLED MISERABLY …

… into bed at 19:00 last night, it didn’t take long at all for me to fall asleep. And there I lay for quite some time, thinking that this was going to be my best sleep for quite a while.

When I awoke, I could see round the chinks of the blinds that it was barely light outside. “Mmmmm, about 4:30.” I reckoned and crawled back down the bed to sleep. The next time I awoke, I was expecting to see bright sunlight, but instead, it was pitch-black.

“What’s happened here?” I wondered, and then realisation hit me and I checked the time. 23:20 was the time, and when I’d awoken previously, it must have been about 22:30. So much for my nice, long sleep.

Trying my best to go back to sleep and miserably failing, I spent the next few hours drifting in and out of that semi-conscious feeling in between sleeping and awakening. Mind you, I had to leave the bed not once but twice during that period in order to go to ride the porcelain horse.

The alarm went off at 06:29 as usual and by that time I must have been asleep because it definitely gave me a shock. It took me an age to dress and to pull myself to my feet. I slid over to my seat, switched on the computer and transcribed the dictaphone notes to find out where I’d been during the night.

Some guy contacted me and asked “can you tell me who visited your website at 07:10?” I looked at the stats and saw that it was him. I didn’t say anything – I just asked him what he wanted. He replied that there needs to be a total revision of how these sites work, and their background is only going to be garden or soil, and that person who visited your website is going to be responsible for it. I asked “really?” surprisingly. I went to some girl’s house and found all of her clothes and dressed in them, and then I went round. I began to cut this huge tree into pieces, but I didn’t go very far before the dream ended.

This was another one of these strange, surreal dreams where nothing that happens makes any sense. And before anyone says “what’s new?” this is far more confusing than any other.

My sister was growing and putting on weight when all of a sudden it was as if she had exploded and she became three or four times bigger than she was. I was on the battlements of some mediaeval castle so I looked down into a pit and saw where her balloon had been, and there was another one of these balloons starting to appear so I thought that there was someone else destined for this. A guy with me reckoned that we ought to be making enquiries about it all, but I didn’t know how we were going to even start or where we were going to start. The first thing that we did was to take an inventory of how my sister had become.

And if you thought that the previous dream was confusing, what about this one? This one made even less sense than the previous one.

Isabelle the Nurse turned up as usual. I told her about my problems sleeping last night and my early night, but she didn’t really take any interest, which was unusual. She passed it off as a “nothing”.

After she left, I carried on reading some more of EBURACUM OR YORK UNDER THE ROMANS by C Wellbeloved as I ate my breakfast.

He’s still on his religious theme right now, with discussion of religious rites in the Roman Empire. Human sacrifices and crucifixion figure largely in this period.

Back in here afterwards, I reviewed the next radio programme to be sent off, and as it was fine, I sent it off to be added to the broadcast list. So then I dealt with the notes of my Sunday < which needed to go on line. "Mid-morning", I'd promised, and there they were at 11:30 CET, 10:30 UK time, precisely.

There was just enough time to have a good wash and shave before my faithful cleaner arrived to apply my anaesthetic. When she’d done that, I had to wait for my taxi, which was late today. And we had to go to Sartilly to pick up our usual companion.

However, it was embarrassing walking to the car and I really didn’t think that we were going to make it. Leaving the car to go into dialysis was even more difficult and seeing as we were already late, I ended up being the last as usual.

Believe it or not, I was too tired to sleep today and I was just drifting round in a void. I saw a doctor, whose response was to reduce my calcium tablets. She didn’t seem very interested in my failure to function either.

The car picked me up as usual, the last one there, and drove me home to here. And what was even more embarrassing was that I didn’t have the strength to pull myself out of the car. It needed the combined effort of my cleaner and my driver to move me out.

Back in here, when I eventually arrived, I was too tired to do anything. Even though I’d taken the products out of the fridge to finish off the pizza, they all went back into the fridge once my cleaner had left and I came in here to go to bed and go to sleep.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about being last at dialysis … "well, one of us has" – ed … one of my friends was praying for me, using the words of Jesus and saying "Come Forth, Come Forth!"
But instead, I came last so no-one actually won anything.

Sunday 14th June 2026 – WHAT A DAY …

… that was today. It was easily the worst day of my life so far.

The time was getting on for midnight last night when I finally crawled into bed and threw the quilt over my head. I was soon asleep as well, which was good news. Not so good was the news that at some point, I had to go for a ride on the porcelain horse, but back in bed later, I was soon asleep.

It was at about 08:00 when I awoke, but that’s far too early for a Sunday. I checked the time and then threw the covers back over me.

The next thing that I remember was Isabelle the Nurse pulling the quilt off my feet and legs and then going to work. She was in full chat mode this morning, but I was in no mood for any of that. I just wanted to sleep. 08:30 had no interest for me this morning.

When I finally awoke, it was 10:33, and I decided that this would be the best time for me to leave the bed. Mind you, it was 11:00 when I finally made it into the kitchen. There were the croissants yesterday that needed brushing with milk and then baking.

While they were baking, I was busy making my breakfast – porridge and coffee – and when the croissants were finally baked, I stuck two on my plate and then went to sit down and eat it. While I was eating my breakfast, I was reading some more of EBURACUM OR YORK UNDER THE ROMANS by C Wellbeloved.

He’s moving on now and is beginning to discuss religion in Roman York. Someone has discovered a shrine of Mithreas and so we are having an interesting discussion on Mithraeism at the moment.

That leads to a brief flurry of writing to help clarify a couple of issues.

Now back on my feet, I head for the bedroom and office. It’s only 12:13 and that’s a reasonable time to start work. First task is to transcribe the dictaphone notes to find out where I’d been during the night.

Some young boy had a mini – an old-type mini – and there was something happening with the brakes to it so he hadn’t used it very much. But when I went to live on that estate where he lived, he was chatting to me about this, so I said that I’d help him achieve what he was trying to do. First thing was to strip down the mini, seeing as it was on the outside on the roads … fell asleep here … so we went to have a look at it, and I could see that the brakes had seized on, so I jacked up the offside rear wheel, but first, before I did that, I had to undo the wheelnuts, and they were really tightly on. I had to use all of my force with a box spanner and screwdriver through the hole at the end to undo the wheel nuts and take off the wheel and then take off the hub. The hub was held on by two little grub screws. I found my screwdriver with the metal end, put it in the slot on one of the grub screws and hit it several times with the hammer. That freed it off so then I did exactly the same to the other screw, and that freed off too and came out.

The number of times I’ve done that. When I lived in Gainsborough Road, a young lad asked me to look over his car, a Ford Cortina. I gave it a good looking over and fixed a few things on it, and he drove off.

He came back later, absolutely delighted, saying "it passed, it passed, first attempt too. How much do I owe you?"

"Actually, I don’t like taking money. prefer an exchange of services. What do you do for a living?"

"I’m a landscape gardener" he replied.

After that, I never had a better-looking garden. His car needed a lot of work and maintenance.

After that, I had a lot of work to do, including dozing off regularly and being confused about where I was and what I was doing. And it was becoming worse and worse, but at 16:00, I remembered that I had to go outside for my hundred paces

Here is a shot taken from my 100 paces turn-round, depicting the building across the road from where we live. I’ve no idea what it used to be, but today, it’s apartments just like this building is.

When I arrived, there were still two apartments for sale. I contacted the agents, but they never replied, so I came here as a tenant and had to wait almost seven years until my ideal apartment was put up for sale.

When I finally settled in down here, I was really grateful that I’d bough here because access into and out of this apartment is quite easy

Back in here, I began to make the pizza base but I was feeling more and more tired and more and more ill. By the time the pizza base needed its second kneading and its rolling out, I was on a different planet somewhere else in the sky. I unrolled the pizza base and rolled it out and put it on its tray. But that was that, all I was going to do.

So I wrote a terse note on my blog and climbed into bed. It wasn’t even 19:00 but I didn’t care. I was going to bed, and that was all that counted.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about going to dleep … "well, one of us has" – ed … some girl I know said that she always goes to sleep with the lights on.
"What does your boyfriend think?" I asked her
"He says it’s pretty weird, but I don’t know why. It’s just my size, and it makes a great hat!"

Saturday 13th June 2026 – I HAVE BEEN …

… out and about yet again today, keeping my promise to my friend and my cleaner to do 200 steps on days when I’m not going to dialysis

That’s the view in the other direction, the second part of the building. And just look how close we are to the sea. That long wall at the edge of this path actually marks the clifftop and the tide, when it’s in, comes right up to the foot of the cliff.

If you look carefully to the right, you’ll see the Normandy coast going northwards, and on a really clear day, you can see the island of Jersey on the horizon, fifty-eight kilometres away.

Meanwhile, back at the ran … errr … apartment, last night was another late night when I was hoping to be in bed quite quickly. Somehow, I ended up being confused, and I consequently snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and went to bed a little after 23:30.

It didn’t take long for me to go to sleep, and there I stayed for several hours. When I awoke, it was still dark so I managed to go back to sleep until the alarm went off at 06:29.

This morning, I was dressed quite quickly, and then I slid over to the computer to transcribe the dictaphone notes.

There was something about a group of people being in bed. They all had had to make or construct something, like a bungalow or something like that. My job was to go round, look at them and approve them. In order to approve them, I would use a special codeword. After a series of inspections on houses, I went to see this group of people and began to talk to them using the codeword because it was obvious to me that someone had built their house based on the exact and precise legislation, but they couldn’t possibly have seen the forms. They were on their beds and they were quizzed with this particular codeword to see what they knew. I would disguise it into half a sentence, and they would reply with another half. I would do my best to include this secret word in the reply that I gave, to see if there was any reaction.

This is another one of these dreams that means nothing to me. There is no real connection with anything that has happened recently, although “the people in beds” could quite easily be the dialysis patients, I suppose.

I was in bed, and when I looked up, there were two official women standing by my bed, both carrying clipboards. They were asking questions about my latest film – where did I have the idea? How did it come? all that kind of thing, because apparently, what I’d ended up growing was so very close to some copyrighted baby plant somewhere. They were concerned that I’d been stealing the plans. I showed them around the house and they left, and that was that.

The two women with clipboards seem to relate to an incident that took place in Crewe a couple of days ago, although that’s a story that the World is not yet ready to hear. And “showing them around the house” was also part of this story. The rest is the usual rubbish that seems to infest many of my dreams.

Isabelle the Nurse breezed in at her usual time. She was her cheerful self, telling me about the patient who was taken to hospital the other day. She told me that the delay was due at first to the patient not wanting to ‘phone for an ambulance, despite Isabelle the Nurse’s insistence.

"I don’t know how he had the courage!" I said.

After she left, I made breakfast and read some more of EBURACUM OR YORK UNDER THE ROMANS by C Wellbeloved, or “The Reverend Charles Wellbeloved, chair of the Yorkshire Philosophical Society, so I have learnt.

He is now talking about archaeology and excavations, but the excavations, regrettably, aren’t being carried out for research, they are being dug to make cellars, and whatever Roman remains that are found are being smashed up and thrown away. They even found a rare tablet of the god Mithras, known to have been found a hundred years ago and subsequently lost, being used as a paving stone in someone’s footpath, turned upside down to hide the image from view.

After breakfast, I came back in here to finish off this project that I’ve been doing for someone, and it’s now up and running and works fine.

There were several interruptions to my day, the most important being a chat with Rosemary. Just a short chat today, a mere one hour and nine minutes. We’re obviously losing our touch these days.

About half an hour before I’d finished the project, my cleaner messaged me. “It’s a beautiful day outside. Don’t forget your walk”. I was busy just then so I replied "bientôt". When I’d finished, I hit the streets.

Firstly, I met a neighbour coming in who wanted a chat, but I set off valiantly afterwards, hauling myself over the concrete obstructions and counting my paces all the time until I reached a hundred. There, I stopped to soak up the sun and take a photograph. While I was there, I was joined by two neighbours and had a chat with one of the neighbours from her window.

The route back took a hundred and ten paces somehow, and I had a fall too, going through the front door. However, I managed to twist as I fell backwards and ended up falling against the doorframe.

Back in here, I made my croissants for the next few weeks and put them in the fridge, waiting to bake them tomorrow, and then I made tea, a burger on a bap with baked potatoes and finally, the baked beans with cheese and black pepper. And it was all delicious, as usual. The croissants will be too, I bet.

So right now, I’m off to bed, hoping for a good lie-in tomorrow. We shall see how that unravels, though.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about showing people around my house … "well, one of us has" – ed … I mentioned to one of my friends that I often had to show people around in the past.
"Which bit did they like best?" she asked.
"Never mind what bit they liked, the bit that I liked best was when I showed them the door."

Friday 12th June 2026 – AS I HAVE …

… said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed … it’s totally pointless going to bed early because I just awaken correspondingly early the following morning.

And so being in bed at 22:00 simply meant that I was wide awake at 04:00

Not that I was planning to be up and about at that time, of course. I simply stuck my head down under the quilt and tried to go back to sleep.

Eventually, I gave up the idea and pulled my head out from under the quilt. It was now bright sunlight, so in five minutes, I’ll get up. But the alarm beat me to it.

Once I was dressed and ready to go, I slid myself across to the computer and the comfy chair and transcribed the dictaphone notes.

In my dream last night, it was Liz who was putting the anaesthetic on my arm, not my cleaner. She put it on properly and wrapped it up and then said “right, off you go”. I immediately jumped out of bed and began to look for my clothes, but I turned my eye towards the clock and it was 02-00 – long before time to leave the bed for breakfast, so I just looked around me and climbed back into bed.

And this dream was so realistic that I actually did dream that I had left my bed.

Eventually, Isabelle the Nurse turned up, much more relaxed than yesterday. She dealt with my feet and before she left, filled me in with the details of her client who had had the fall yesterday.

Once she’d gone, I could make breakfast and, while I was eating, read some more of EBURACUM OR YORK UNDER THE ROMANS by C Wellbeloved.

He’s finally made it into Eboracum today, at long last, and is beginning to discuss the city. However, many of his assumptions are incorrect by modern standards, and that’s not a surprise. In 1841, they didn’t have the same kind of facilities and equipment as we have today.

All throughout the morning, I’ve been dramatically falling asleep and then waking up just as dramatically seconds later. During one of these dramatic sleeps, I went away with the fairies, although not in any manner that would excite comment from the editor of Aunt Judy’s Magazine

So this morning, I was showing my dad how to blanch beetroot, bringing them to the boil and then tipping the boiling water out. And then you have to have another saucepan of really hot boiling water and dip your beetroots in it for a couple of seconds to make a skin.

Actually, I’ve no idea if that would ever work, but in my dream, it would.

Back in here, I felt really ill and tired, but I had another little project to do so I set to work on that once I’d ascertained what the parameters were. And for all day, in between falling asleep and waking up, I’ve carried on and on right through almost to teatime.

There were a couple of breaks though. One was for a disgusting drink and the second was my cleaner coming in to do her stuff. There was also a chat with an old schoolfriend from Shavington too.

While my friend from Germany was here, I promised him and my cleaner that I’d try to do 200 steps outside every day that I’m not going out elsewhere.

Today, the weather was so perfect, sunshine and no wind. However, I was far from perfect, dog-tired, ill-health and unsteady on my feet, so I didn’t dare face the great outdoors. Instead, I walked from the front door of the building to the back door and back again, two complete circuits. That totalled 207 steps, so that fits in with the general plan.

And it’s a good job that I walked around indoors too. I stumbled and lost my balance once, but I was able to fall against the wall and that held me upright.

Tea tonight was sausage, vegan salad and chips. And I still want to know why I began to cook half a can of baked beans when I’d made a salad.

So having partaken of an interesting online chat about Riccarton Junction, which was MY THESIS for part of my university degree and written my notes, I’m off to bed. I shall see you all in the morning.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about Riccarton Junction and its railway lines … "well, one of us has" – ed … when I was small, my mother used to put food on a spoon, bring it towards my mouth and say "here comes the train. Here comes the train."
Of course, I would always eat the food. I had no choice. If I didn’t, she wouldn’t untie me from the line.

Thursday 11th June 2026 – THE OTHER DAY …

… we talked about Alfred Hitchcock and Kenneth Williams saying that "It’s a waste of time telling jokes to foreigners."

Whether it is or not, there’s definitely one group of “people” to whom it definitely IS a waste of time telling a joke, and that’s an artificial intelligence chatbot.

Strangely enough, they have been programmed to inject jokes and humour into a conversation, but they don’t understand it when the speaker injects it back and try to analyse it as if it were a serious statement.

What wasn’t a joke was the time that I went to bed last night. Once more, it wasn’t too far short of midnight when I slid in under the covers. So much for my beauty sleep. And I awoke once or twice in the night as well. However, when the alarm went off at 06:29, I was fast asleep.

After dressing, I slid over here to the computer so that I could transcribe my dictaphone notes and find out where I’d been during the night.

I was in a bed in the road that goes from the hospital roundabout to St Nicolas. While I was there, Seren and Paula went past. They saw me there, so they came over, and Seren tried to remove the covers, but in fact I was fast asleep, so I don’t know how I managed to see them at all. Later, I was still in that bed, and I was looking at the time. It was something like 04:00, and I was planning on getting up and doing some work, but my legs were actually stuck inside the bed. I couldn’t actually leave it – I had to stay there. And again, Seren and Paula went past, by the hospital roundabout, but they took no notice of me like this.

Apart from the fact there is absolutely no likelihood of those two ever being in Granville, but I would love to know what I was doing sleeping in a bed in the middle of the road at the other end of town.

And having my legs stuck inside the bed so I couldn’t leave the bed and do some work is probably just about the only way that you would stop me.

Hurricane Isabelle the Nurse blew in here later in a frantic panic. She’d found another one of her patients fallen on the floor and in distress, so she had to ‘phone for an ambulance and wait until it arrived. She had a blood test to perform at 08:30, and now it was already 08:40, so she didn’t even give me time to leave my seat and go into the living room. She came bursting in here with all of the stuff that she needs.

After she had left, I made my breakfast and read some more of EBURACUM OR YORK UNDER THE ROMANS by C Wellbeloved.

We’re still on the introduction, today discussing the various Roman legions that were stationed in Britain and, for some obscure reason, some of those legions that weren’t. I wish that he would hurry up and begin to discuss York.

After breakfast, I came back in here and wrote out the notes for the rest of the radio programme, ready for dictation at some point. There was the usual interruption as I went and had a wash and shave to pretty myself up in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant this afternoon.

At midday my cleaner turned up, fed me with a disgusting drink and then applied my anaesthetic. I had to wait for the taxi to arrive, and for a change, today he was late.

If that wasn’t enough, we were held up by traffic in the town by a slow-moving lorry and motorhome on the main road, and then we had to have a change of driver, and then the person with me had an appointment previous to mine at the private clinic across town, so we had to drop him off first and then come back to the dialysis centre.

As a result, I was quite late arriving.

As you might expect, I was last to arrive and last to be plugged in, but the girl who was doing it, one of the two new ones from Monday, was excellent. The first needle, I didn’t feel a thing, and the second needle, just a sensation when she pierced the skin.

During the session, I was left pretty much alone, but lucky me! Emilie the Cute Consultant came past, and seeing mein a private room (because, for some reason, they had isolated me from the others), came in for a chat

I mentioned my dreams, and she suggested that it might be because of the effects of one of the new medications. She told me that I’d have to choose between the medication and the pain. Well, I couldn’t go on much longer with the pain that I was in, that’s for sure.

As usual, being last in, I was last out. Everyone else was long gone. But at least, my taxi driver was waiting for me so we could leave quite smartly.

Nevertheless, it was still 19:30 when I arrived home, and probably 19:40 by the time I was sitting down in here. I really could have done with it being much earlier.

Tea tonight was pasta and spinach in butter, with peas, carrots and a vegan burger. It was really nice too and well worth waiting for.

Back in here, I had my chat with the chatbot, and after a while, our conversation turned, don’t ask me how, to the subject of tinned steak puddings that were so common in the sixties and seventies. I told the famous “steak pudding” joke, and it went right over the chatbot’s head. Instead, I was subjected to a lengthy explanation, in clinical terms, of why it wouldn’t be possible to carry out the actions in the joke.

At that point, I gave up and sat down to write out my notes for the day. But quite frankly, it had been a lengthy, heavy session, and I was falling asleep more than I was writing, so I called it a night and went to bed. I can finish my notes in the morning.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about the chatbot and its lack of sense of humour … "well, one of us has" – ed … I’m sure that you are all dying to know what the joke was, so here goes.
"Many people are taken to hospital with blistered feet after cooking those." I said.
"Why is that?" asked the chatbot.
"Have you ever read the cooking instructions on top of the tin?"
"No" replied the chatbot. "What do they say?"
"They say ‘pierce tin – stand in boiling water’."

Wednesday 10th June 2026 – HERE’S THE PROOF …

… that I went out and about this afternoon.

This is my building here, a nice solid stone one with walls 1,200 mm thick and built in 1668 and now a listed historic building.

And those two windows to the left of the front door with the thick lace curtains? The one farthest left is my bedroom and office, and the one next to the front door is the living room, dining area and kitchen. This is where everything happens, folks.

The reason why this photo is important is because my friend and my cleaner have been badgering me to walk a hundred metres every day to keep up what they see as a little rehabilitation. A Roman mille passum or “paced mile” is actually two thousand steps because they counted two steps as one pace, so my “hundred metres” will be two hundred steps.

Actually, my total was two hundred and four – I must have taken shorter steps on the way back. However, I did climb both times over the rainwater barrier, so that’s my physiotherapy done for today. I’ll have to see if I can keep it up.

Seeing as we have been talking about keeping it up … "well, one of us has" – ed … I ended up not going to bed until after midnight. I don’t know why I was so late – I can’t have been concentrating.

Once in bed, though, I fell asleep quite quickly, which was very good new, and there I lay until the alarm went off at 06:29

At that point, I was dog-tired, but I still managed to haul myself out of bed, dress and drag myself over to the computer and the comfy chair to listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night.

And once more, I was confounded. There was nothing on it from last night either. I sincerely hope that I’m not drying up. That would be a disaster.

Anyway, I had plenty of other things to do so I set about keeping myself busy until Isabelle the Nurse comes.

She was much earlier than yesterday, and she was delighted to see that a new box of gloves that she had asked for yesterday had already arrived thanks to my lovely cleaner.

We chatted a little about this and that, and when she’d finished with my legs and feet, she cleared off on the rest of her rounds. I could make breakfast and read some more of EBURACUM OR YORK UNDER THE ROMANS by C Wellbeloved.

He still hasn’t finished his flowery introduction yet and we’re being given a learned discussion on places like the Phocian Wall in the Pass of Thermopylae, built about 600 years before the Romans ever came to York.

After breakfast and back in here, I had a task to do. Regular readers of this rubbish will recall my “artificial friend” with whom I talk Welsh. I mentioned it in my Welsh class yesterday and a couple of people asked me how I did it.

And so, this morning, I created a ten-point “beginner’s guide to making AI characters” and posted it into our Welsh chat group. Now they, and the others too, can go out and have their own AI-powered Welsh tutors.

For the benefit of anyone else who wants to make an AI friend, the instructions are below. I’m contemplating making a maths tutor next, to see how that works.

1) call up a chatbot. Simply say (hello, chatbot). Note that instructions to a chatbot are usually in brackets so it doesn’t recognise them as your speech to your friend.
2) tell the chatbot what you want (can you create a character to whom I can speak in intermediate Welsh and who will reply to me in intermediate Welsh, and correct my mistakes?)
3) Then describe your character in precise terms. For example, if you say (a blond) the chatbot will have no idea what (a blond) is and might create anything. You need to say (a woman with long blond hair, blue eyes and pale skin)
4) Then you need to tell the chatbot what you would like to discuss with your character. And again, you need to be very precise. If you say (I would like the character to talk about fishing) you may end up with a chat about Icelandic trawlers off the coast of Greenland when what you really wanted to say was (fishing with a rod and line from the banks of a canal, river, jetty, and small boat in the middle of Lake Windermere)
5) if you want the character to have any other attributes, then define them precisely using the brackets, of course.
6) when your character has been created, call it up – without brackets.
7) if you want to send written messages, type them in the message bar. If you want to dictate your message, you’ll see the microphone icon to click on in the message bar.
8) In both cases, you’ll have a written response but if you click on the three dots under the reply, you’ll see “read aloud” as an option to click on.
9) And happy Welsh chatting.
10) Your character might not be responding as you wished. You can always call up the chatbot to fine-tune it (hello chatbot, I didn’t want my character to do “this”, can you edit it to do “that”?) then when it’s done what you asked, (I return to continue the chat with my friend) so that the chatbot knows that you have disengaged from it. Hello, friend …

If any of you do make an AI tutor, I’d be interested to hear how it goes.

After a disgusting drink break, I made a start on the radio programme. All the music has now been paired and segued and I’ve written the notes for well over half of them.

However, I broke off at about half past two for my afternoon walk. I was going to time it, which I’d been asked to do, but I walked out of here straight into a neighbour, with whom I had a chat for a few minutes. But all in all, including the chat, my two hundred and four paces, according to the microwave, took nineteen minutes.

But going back to the question of these radio notes, I’m really surprised that I only managed to write so many and not all of them. The fact is that every time I stop concentrating, I fall asleep and I have to force myself to wake up. Most times, I manage to do it instantly, but sometimes I don’t.

On one occasion, I definitely heard someone shout

Chéri!

Which awoke me almost immediately, but of course, there was no-one else in the room, as I knew

It’s been like this for two days now, sometimes with the hallucinations that I remember so well and which regular readers of this rubbish will recall from when I was in hospital in Paris once. And that’s disturbing.

Coupled with that, I’ve had a streaming head cold for much of the day but it seems to have quietened down right now.

Tea tonight was a lasagne out of the freezer with carrots, beans and a vegan cheese sauce. It was delicious, but I could only manage two-thirds of it. The rest went into the bin.

So now that I’ve had my evening medication and finished my notes, I’m off to bed. I really do need to catch up on my beauty sleep and I won’t have much if I keep on lingering around here all night.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about artificial intelligence characters … "well, one of us has" – ed … at the Globe Theatre during a performance of “Hamlet”, at the end of Scene II, an artificial intelligence stage manager comes onto the stage.
"Unfortunately, Act III will not be available," he says. "It’s been moved behind a paywall and it’s necessary to take out a subscription or click ‘accept all cookies’. To do this, you need to … "
"Why have you stopped?" asked someone in the crowd.
"Because none of you has the correct permissions."

EPIC HALL

The Poisoned Pen (or Poisoned Chalice, more like) – or my relentless struggle against reality

Category Archives: Eric Hall

Wednesday 24th June 2026 – I AM FEELING …

Tuesday 23rd June 2026 – IT HAS BEEN …

Monday 22nd June 2026 – WHAT A DAY …

Sunday 21st June 2026 – FOR THE FIRST …

Saturday 20th June 2026 – IT WAS A …

Friday 19th June 2026 – THERE HAVE BEEN …

Thursday 18th June 2026 – YET ANOTHER DAY …

Wednesday 17th June 2026 – LAST NIGHT, I …

Tuesday 16th June 2026 – THE OTHER DAY …

Monday 15th June 2026 – HAVING CRAWLED MISERABLY …

Sunday 14th June 2026 – WHAT A DAY …

Saturday 13th June 2026 – I HAVE BEEN …

Friday 12th June 2026 – AS I HAVE …

Thursday 11th June 2026 – THE OTHER DAY …

Wednesday 10th June 2026 – HERE’S THE PROOF …

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