So, retournons \u00e0 nos moutons<\/em> as they say around here, last night I was totally and utterly wasted. I don’t think that I’ve ever been so tired. I staggered through the notes, the back-up and the statistics etc, feeling less and less like it as time went on. <\/p>\n In the bathroom I fell asleep while I was … errr … riding the porcelain horse and it took some effort to make my way beck here where I fell straight asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow. It was only 22:45 too, which makes a change.<\/p>\n And there I lay, fast asleep and didn’t move a muscle until all of … errr … 05:20.<\/p>\n As I have said before … "and on many occasions too" – ed<\/em> … being awake is one thing. Leaving the bed is quite another thing completely. It was about 05:50 when I finally dragged myself out from under the bedclothes and saw the light of day.<\/p>\n First task was to transcribe the dictaphone notes. There was some drink that I was supposed to be drinking and its chemical composition was really precise. I’d stir it every day with a metal spoon. One day, I’d left the metal spoon in there. When I went to pull the spoon out, I noticed that half of the spoon had dissolved into the liquid and wasn’t there any more. I was wondering “what on earth is this caustic substance that I’ve been prescribed that I’ve been drinking two of these each day?”. <\/p>\n This sounds like the disgusting drink of which I’m supposed to take two every day. I shudder to think what it might be doing to my insides if its chemical reactions are as bad as its tastes.<\/p>\n Everyone seemed to wake up early this morning so I didn’t have long to spend in here. I went and had a good wash and then to drink some coffee and have a chat.<\/p>\n However, we were all interrupted. A taxi turned up to take me for a medical appointment.<\/p>\n Don’t ask me why, because I was convinced that the appointment is on Monday, but apparently not. So I quickly put on my shoes and went downstairs with the driver.<\/p>\n It was nice to be outside in an early summer’s morning so I wasn’t complaining, although I did wish that there had been someone there to greet me at the doctor’s when I arrived. And after waiting half an hour and having tried the doors and found them all locked, I telephoned the dialysis centre. They confirmed that it is indeed today.<\/p>\n When the driver turned up to take me home, one hour later, the doctor still hadn’t arrived. We went back downstairs anyway to speak to the receptionist of the medical centre. She told me that the doctor wasn’t in today. She checked my appointments on the central medical website and there it was – for Monday, as I had thought. And so we went home.<\/p>\n It goes without saying that I’d missed the nurse. I did ring her up but it was the answerphone that answered the ‘phone.<\/p>\n At least, I could now eat breakfast and drink some more coffee. I certainly needed it.<\/p>\n The next task was to contact the kitchen fitter to remind him that we were waiting. I gave him a gentle nudge with an e-mail and he rang me back as I hoped that he would.<\/p>\n We had another lengthy discussion about everything that we needed and he promised to send me a final schedule later in the afternoon.<\/p>\n The postie turned up in the middle of all of that and dropped off a couple of parcels. All that I seem to be awaiting now are the microwave oven and the kitchen stool. The kitchen stool will be a boon because I really am now struggling to stay standing up for any length of time.<\/p>\n After lunch, the cleaner turned up, closely followed by the plumber. We showed the latter round the bathroom and he seems to think that it’s straightforward, although somewhat complicated.<\/p>\n He doesn’t like my idea of a wall and thinks that I should have a glass panel, “so that there’s more light” – not that light has ever bothered me, and that I should run the pipework behind a false wall rather than embedded in the new wall. He also wants me to change the toilet for a new one.<\/p>\n However, unless there’s a very good reason (which we won’t know until we remove the bath) my plans are staying put.<\/p>\n It took him a while to sort out everything that he needed to know, and then we agreed a price. Or, rather, he told me his. It’s useless giving me an estimate because we don’t know what’s involved until we remove the bath but I know his daily rate. Had I had any more time left to find someone else I would maybe have thought twice, but if he can do the job by the middle of July, which he thinks is eminently feasible, then I shall have to bite the bullet. Each month longer that I stay here, I’m having to pay an extra month’s rent.<\/p>\n With it being such a nice day, my friend and I went for a walk outside afterwards. I went over to the clifftop and watched the sea and the boats for a while until the heat drove me back inside again.<\/p>\n By this time, the kitchen fitter had sent me the list. He’s going to order the stuff from the DIY shop, but I need to order the stuff from IKEA.<\/p>\n That took a while and I blanched at the price that came out of it all, but it has to be paid. I’m probably over-engineering the kitchen But I’m only ever going to do this once and it has to have an island, if, for the only reason, to stop me falling over.<\/p>\n When it came to pay it, the struggle for position of The Worst Bank In The World took a new turn as the Cr\u00e9dit Agricole refused to make the payment. However, I have been in this position before and it’s not for nothing that I also have bank accounts in Belgium, the UK and Canada. Consequently, the kitchen is all paid for and the things will be here on Wednesday.<\/p>\n In between everything else, I was editing the radio notes that I dictated the other day. They aren’t quite half done but I’ll keep on going with half an hour here, an hour there until they are finished. But it’s difficult to work when you have visitors.<\/p>\n There was also some time somewhere for me to make a loaf of bread, seeing as we had run out. I don’t know where all of this energy came from – or all of this time either, but I’ve certainly been busy today.<\/p>\n Tea tonight was sausage, beans and chips. And very nice it was too. I certainly enjoyed it and so did my friend.<\/p>\n And now I’m off to bed, ready for dialysis tomorrow I don’t think.<\/p>\n But seeing as we have been talking about the Cr\u00e9dit Agricole … "well, one of us has" – ed<\/em> … an old farmer went into the bank to speak to the manager
\nConsequently, I telephoned them, and they told me "it’s over your transaction limit"<\/em><\/strong>.
\nMy reply was "I don’t care about the transaction limit. I want to make the payment. What are you going to do about it?"<\/em><\/strong>
\n"We’ll send you a form. Sign it and send it back and we’ll raise your limit temporarily"<\/em><\/strong>
\n"So I have to wait for the post to bring it, and the post to return it?"<\/em><\/strong>
\n"I’m afraid so"<\/em><\/strong> she replied.
\n"How much money do you have of mine in your bank?"<\/em><\/strong>
\nSo she told me exactly
\n"Good. I’ll take it all out and find another bank who wants it and who will do what I want"<\/em><\/strong>
\n"I’ll have the manager call you back"<\/em><\/strong>
\nIt goes without saying that the manager has yet to ‘phone.<\/p>\n
\n"I need to take out a loan"<\/em><\/strong> said the farmer. "I need a new tractor and trailer and a few other bits and pieces"<\/em><\/strong>
\n"And how long will you need it?"<\/em><\/strong>
\n"I can pay you back over fifteen years"<\/em><\/strong>
\n"We can’t do that"<\/em><\/strong> said the banker. "To be honest, I doubt that you’ll live that long to repay it."<\/em><\/strong>
\n"Well, if I die"<\/em><\/strong> said the farmer "God in his Heaven will reward you when I arrive there."<\/em><\/strong>
\n"And what if you don’t go to heaven but go to hell?"<\/em><\/strong>
\n"In that case,"<\/em><\/strong> said the farmer "I can give you the money myself when I see you."<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n
