But seeing as we are talking about floating … "well, one of us is" – ed<\/em> … I don’t know what I was floating on the other night when I managed a fairly early night but I wish that it had come back to float me off last night. <\/p>\n Even though I’d finished at a not-unreasonable time it was still a good while later when I could manage to find the courage to rise up and go to bed. It was probably only the hope that in bed would be the only way that I would be able to see Moonchild again, or one of the other Fearsome Foursome, that drove me on.<\/p>\n Once in bed though, I didn’t hang around and was soon asleep. And there I stayed until the alarm went off in the morning at 07:00.<\/p>\n It goes without saying that I wasn’t in any kind of mood to raise myself from the Dead but I did manage to beat the second alarm into the bathroom where I had a good wash and scrub up. While I was there I also applied plenty of deodorant and had a shave in case I meet Emilie the Cute Consultant this afternoon.<\/p>\n In the kitchen I had the morning’s medication, remembering not to take the medication that I’m not supposed to take on Dialysis Day. But the bad news is that I’ve run out of my anti-cancer portable chemotherapy stuff that’s been keeping me alive for the last couple of years. I hope that there was a bottle in the last batch of medication that my faithful cleaner brought me. If not, I’ll be pushing up the daisies much quicker than even I think.<\/p>\n Thinking about it though, I should have asked for a new prescription when I was in Paris just now (they can’t prescribe it in Avranches) but I was hoping that I’d manage to see my consultant when I was there. But with the results not being anything like ready (they had hardly finished all the tests) I’m having to go back some time soon.<\/p>\n Back in here I had a listen to the dictaphone to find out where I’d been during the night. And I’ve no idea of anything at all about anything out of this. We had another phantom alarm at 02:50. It sounded so real that I did actually rise up and begin to leave the bed. But I’d been in some kind of folk group and had been playing an instrument and it had been the case of hitting my knees with my hand in the rhythm of the music, something like that. Anyway they stood me up and took me and we just – Rick – and at that traffic lights that was that hippo that was Rod Wayne’s and at that meeting I had to drive all the way back to Crewe when I could be posting but then having to think about disposing of her. Where will I dispose of her and then I said “if you are going to take me to this troublesome bear-y and dispose of Linda at the end of the programme so that we could have a little life? We had a girls’ school at first and looked after it. It was a very shabby and run-down area (…fell asleep here<\/em> …)<\/p>\n Apart from the fact that none of it makes any sense … "so what in your dreams actually does?" – ed<\/em> … I can’t remember a single moment of it. However, the utter gibberish and falling asleep indicate that I must have been really tired while all of that was going on.<\/p>\n Isabelle the Nurse is counting down the moments until her ski holiday. She’s promised to show me the photos but that’s no good at all. I need to see the real snow, and feel in under my skis. It’s probably a dozen years since I’ve last been skiing and how I really used to enjoy it.<\/p>\n After she left I made my breakfast and then began to read my new book.<\/p>\n To most of you, it’s probably not very exciting. And it’s not a book either. In 1936 an archaeologist named William Jones Varley excavated an Iron-Age Hillfort at Eddisbury in Cheshire. Although he had made a couple of initial reports, he died in 1970 with his in-depth report unfinished.<\/p>\n In 2006 when his wife died, a box in her caravan was examined and found to contain some very rusty pieces of iron which, judging by the quality of the ironwork and welding, were believed to relate to the Iron Age.<\/p>\n These were passed to a group of researchers who, comparing the pieces with Jones’s written notes, believe that these pieces of ironwork are the pivot points of the gates of Eddisbury Hillfort.<\/p>\n They published their own report a few years later after an extensive examination of the pieces and a re-examination of the site, and I’ve managed to lay my hands on a copy. So far I’m on about page 26 and no-one has managed to insult or abuse anyone else, even if the authors do disagree with some of Jones’s conclusions, so it makes some nice, calm reading <\/p>\n Back in here I had things to do, such as to finish off the missing notes from the next radio programme. So that’s all done now and it’s ready to be dictated on Saturday night.<\/p>\n The rest of the morning was spent on this question of backing-up that’s going to be the bane of my life over the next few weeks because there isn’t enough room on the USB key that hangs on my keyring.<\/p>\n “So why not use a portable drive like I used to in the olden days?” The question that I need to ask before that is “can I make a portable drive work with one hand?”. Remember that when I’m in the Dialysis Centre I had pipes and tubes going into one arm and the arm is clamped into a mould to hold it still, clamped to my leg<\/p>\n My cleaner was rather late coming to fit my patches, so as you might have expected, the taxi was rather early. He didn’t like having to wait for me, which was no surprise seeing as he had someone else in the car with him.<\/p>\n It was a slinet drive down to Avranches and we were really early there so I had to wait 20 minutes. Still, the earlier we start, the earlier we finish I suppose.<\/p>\n My bed was down in the far corner today which is always something of a struggle, especially when there’s almost 5kg of water to remove today<\/p>\n In the end, they agreed that they would only remove 4.5 kg. What they are going to do with this excess water, now that they are already on the maximum (1.1kg\/hour at a maximum of four hours), I really don’t know. And neither, I suspect, do they<\/p>\n Once I was comfortable I began the back-up but then had one of those dramatic crash-outs that I used to have in the bad old days. But there I was a little later, being shaken awake by none other than Emilie the Cute Consultant.<\/p>\n "Mr Hall!"<\/em><\/strong> she said. "I thought that you were having a crisis!"<\/em><\/strong>. She obviously doesn’t know about these diabetic comas.<\/p>\n And you should be even more proud of me that you were a few days ago. It took a great, immense effort but I managed to avoid saying "next time you want to awaken me, don’t shake me. Just roll over and give me a gentle nudge."<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Before I was plugged in, I reminded the nurses that I needed a prescription of all of my other medication. They’d printed it off on Monday but there was no doctor there to sign it. Anyway, while she was hovering over me, I reminded Emilie the Cute Consultant that I needed it.<\/p>\n Ten minutes later one of the nurses came back waving a prescription signed by one of the doctors, and five minutes later Emilie the Cute Consultant came in carrying one too.<\/p>\n "Ohhh"<\/em><\/strong> she said. "I see that you already have one"<\/em><\/strong> and began to turn on her heel.<\/p>\n "In fact, I’d rather have yours"<\/em><\/strong> I replied. "It has your nice handwriting and signature on it"<\/em><\/strong> and she blushed again.<\/p>\n Once more, I was the last to leave. I hadn’t lost all of the liquid, which is no surprise. But it’s not going to help. What’s the betting that within a year I’ll be permanently coupled up to a dialysis machine?<\/p>\n The taxi was waiting for me when I came out. There was another lady to travel with me who lived in Avranches but this time we went up the old road that is probably one of the steepest roads that I have ever travelled. And then I had a lovely view of the old city walls and castle on the way past after we’d dropped her off.<\/p>\n She had mobility problems so I’d sat in the back of the car … "as if you don’t!" – ed<\/em> … and after she left, I didn’t have the energy to move into the front. It was a very quiet and subdued drive home.<\/p>\n My cleaner was waiting for me and she watched as I climbed all 25 steps to my door – the stair handrails are now fixed.<\/p>\n We had a little chat and she promised to have the prescription framed, with Emilie the Cute Consultant’s signature in full view<\/p>\n After gathering my breath and having my protein drink, I made tea. Steamed vegetables and vegan sausage in a vegan cheese sauce. It was absolutely delicious. And my apple cake and caramel soya dessert was magnificent. The cake is as good as I thought it would be.<\/p>\n Bedtime now, and more work to do tomorrow. It’s a never-ending cycle, isn’t it? One of these days it will stop, but only when I’m pushing up the daisies.<\/p>\n But going back a little, seeing as we have been talking about archaeologists … "well, one of us has" – ed<\/em> … have you ever noticed how so many of the people on the site are female?
\nOn day I was passing an archaeological site and noticed this so I asked the team leader.
\n"We always engage women when we can"<\/em><\/strong> he replied. "And usually married women"<\/em><\/strong>
\n"Why’s that?"<\/em><\/strong> I asked
\n"Because they are so good at it"<\/em><\/strong> he explained. "There is nothing like a married woman for digging up all the past"<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n
