Tag Archives: endoscopy

Friday 24th April 2026 – WHAT A HORRIBLE …

… if not gruesome day I’ve had today. It’s been easily the worst day that I have ever had in my life and I’m really glad that it’s over.

Yesterday, there was no sign or suggestion of any of this. I’d finished everything that needed finishing by 21:30, and so, a couple of minutes later, I went to bed, hoping for a really good, stress-free night.

However, in that, I was quite disappointed. Although I went to sleep shortly after going to bed, it was only the sleep of a moment. I was soon awake, and wide-awake too, and there I stayed for the rest of the night. Nothing seemed to be able to help me go back to sleep, although I actually found a way of lying that actually stopped me coughing. It was quite uncomfortable, but it worked fine until I rolled over subsconsciously into another position.

Eventually, at long last, the alarm went off but it took an age for me to rise to my feet and head for the bathroom.

This morning, I’m supposed to be à jeun – in famine mode. Even a glass of water is banned, but I can take some water to wash down the medication, so I prepared today’s dosage, with the relaxing pill amongst them, ready to take when the driver arrives to take me to Avranches.

It was the same driver as yesterday evening – the Belgian girl – and she’s great fun. But today was much more serious. When we arrived at the hospital, she found a wheelchair for me, and then after registration, she pushed me up to the third floor and my appointment with doom.

We had to wait ten minutes for someone to come to see me, and at that point, my driver said “goodbye”. She told me that she’d be thinking of me and that she’d send me some healing vibes, which was nice, and then she patted me on the shoulder as she left, which was sweet of her.

In the operating theatre, or whatever you call it, I asked if there was gas available. The doctor told me that this examination was not compulsory and that I could opt out of it if I liked. I told him that I knew that, but I can’t go on like this, with all of this coughing.

The doctor made me lie flat on the bed with my head tilted back. Two nurses held me by the hands, but they were … welll … I wouldn’t like to meet them on my own up a dark alley late at night. You could tell by the force that they were using that they were intent on stopping my arms flailing around as I had a panic attack.

The doctor poured some anaesthetic down my nose to deaden it, and it overflowed into my mouth. One of the nurses told me to swallow it – she said that it would anaesthetise my throat.

And then they began.

Despite the anaesthetic, I don’t want to relive those moments again. And neither do I want to relive the moments when they withdrew it. The doctor told me that he’d cleaned my bronchii, which I could tell that he had. He said that he didn’t recall seeing anyone as clogged up as me

They had asked me if I lived alone as I came in, and as the answer was in the affirmative, I had to wait in the waiting room for an hour before they called the taxi to take me home.

The driver eventually appeared, pushing a wheelchair. I’d asked my Belgian friend to warn the next driver that a wheelchair would be necessary. He took me downstairs and pushed me to the car, where someone was already installed inside. Consequently, we had to go via Mont Perrett to drop him off on the way home.

As my faithful cleaner wasn’t there today, I asked the driver if he would accompany me to the apartment. He took the car round to the back of the building where the distance is shorter and the floor is much better, and then went into my bedroom for the office chair. He sat me on it and then pushed me all the way into the bedroom before leaving.

Once he’d gone, I crashed out immediately.

My faithful cleaner awoke me when she came in later to do her stuff, and I managed to make my breakfast at that point.

However, once she’d gone, I crashed out yet again and didn’t awaken until 18:00. And at that point, I was practically unable to function. Consequently, I just posted a terse notes on my blog page and that was that. I climbed into bed and went straight to sleep. What a horrible day.

But here’s a thing – with your vision, you are normally moving your head and all of the frames in your little “film” merge together to make an evenly flowing “film”. Since this morning, it’s as if my vision is sticking and then suddenly, the image seems to jump a few frames to catch up. It’s a totally weird situation.

But before I go, seeing as we have been talking about vision problems … "well, one of us has" – ed … someone went to the doctor’s to complain about their vision.
"I’m seeing nothing but spots before my eyes, doctor. Can you help?" he asked.
"You really need to see an opthalmist, you know." replied the doctor. "Have you seen one yet?"
"No, doctor. Just spots!"

Wednesday 1st June 2016 – YES, 1st OF JUNE ALREADY …

… and here I am, stuck in here still. I was going to complain about missing all of the summer but, looking out of the windows and hearing all of the news from home, then maybe I’m better off here. And so I would be too, if it weren’t for the health issues and the monotonous food (which is still, nevertheless, &0 times better than in any other hospital that I’ve visited. Heaven help me if I had still been incarcerated in Riom where the food was the worst that I have ever tried to eat).

Last night I was on my own in my room (and don’t worry – it didn’t last) and I has possibly the best night’s sleep that I have had. I didn’t go to sleep early and I had to nip off for a ride on the porcelain horse at 05:00 but apart from that, I didn’t feel a thing until a nurse awoke me at 07:40 to take my blood pressure and temperature.

I’d been on my travels too – driving around the south of England somewhere around London. Someone asked me what I was doing for lodging so I explained that I was quite comfortable with everything that I had “in the back” – implying that I was in a lorry with a sleeper cab but in reality I was, as usual,camping out in the back of Caliburn. From here, a bunch of us decided to drive back north and (shock! horror!) I let someone else drive Caliburn (which as you all know, is something that would never ever happen) while I was dozing off in the back. But I was awoken by the sound of the driver over-revving the engine and that annoyed me so I told him to take it easy. and then we turned off the A5 somewhere round about Dunstable to go to pick up something that ha had bought on eBay. Where we went to was some housing estate – all modern expensive flats in a kind of woodland-parkland surrounded by an old stone wall, a parkland that was actually the grounds of the local council offices which were in some kind of stately home. You could see where all of the 19th Century terraced houses were built and came to a dead stop at the stone wall.

I wasn’t given any breakfast this morning. Upon making enquiries I was told that nothing was allowed before my “visit”. That was apparently due at 11:30, so the doctor told me. And I made a big mistake when the doctor came round. She told me that I could go home this weekend but not being quite “with it” at that moment I told her that I had nowhere to go. Fool that I am, I should have said yes, gone anyway, done my shopping and then nipped down to Soissons to pick up my telephone. I wonder if it’s too late to change my mind.

It was 10:30 when they came to pick me up, and dressed in the new modern fashion – to wit, one surgical operating gown – off I trollied to the operating theatre, being pushed on my bed. And once down there, I had to wait for ever until someone came to deal with me. And while I was in the waiting area I could observe everyone entering and leaving the area and if I were to have a Pound for every person who thought that the exit door was automatic rather than manual, I’d be dictating this to a couple of floozies sitting on my knee, somewhere in the Bahamas.

I’m not going into detail about what happened in the operating theatre except to say that it was unspeakable and indescribable agony, but what was worse was that they strapped something like a huge stone to my back where they had made the incision, and I had to lie on it without moving for three hours. This, apparently, was to close up the incision.

And after three hours, believe me, that was even worse than the incision and I was feeling like hell, especially as seeing that I developed cramp in my left leg and couldn’t do anything at all about it. Believe me, when they finally unstrapped me, I was in paradise. At least the ecography that they gave me showed that I haven’t suffered damage due to what they did.

When I returned to my room, I found that I have a new room-mate. That’s a disappointment for sure. But still, I don’t suppose that it can be helped.

This was when I found myself in trouble too. Sitting up on the edge of my bed doing something or other, I was told that I was supposed to be lying down to give me intestines a chance to recover. No-one said anything at all about that to me.

and so I lay down – and promptly crashed out until about 22:00 when the most enormous thunderstorm awoke me. I didn’t realise that I was so tired, especially after such a good night’s sleep.

And my new room-mate snores. B@$t@rd!

And on a final note, I’ve been receiving many expressions of solidarity from well-wishers who have been reading this rubbish just recently. I’d like to thank you all for your comments – they mean quite a lot to me in this difficult time.

Thursday 26th May 2016 – IT’S HARD …

… to think of what I’ve done today.

I know that my night last night was nothing like as good as last night. I didn’t drop off to sleep so early and I was awake by 04:00, much to my dismay. In fact, round about 15:00, I dropped off to sleep and was awoken at 17:00 by a nurse gently shaking my leg to tell me that my tea had arrived.

Another thing that I do remember about the night was that a girl who has been described in these pages as “the one that got away” came to visit me at some point.

So what have I done today then?

The answer is, basically, nothing. The doctor came to see me again and she examined me. She says that they will make a decision today about my chemotherapy (although, if they have done, I don’t know what it is) and she offered me an endoscopy to look into my stomach – something that I turned down flat as you might expect.

The dietician came along too. He told me that he’s going to prescribe a certain high-carbohydrate drink for me that has 300 calories per serving, and he would be back shortly after 14:00 with the first instalment. He didn’t put in an appearance either so I don’t know much more about that.

And really, nothing much more.

I have to take my stomach pills twice a day now, so I have been informed, because I still have the nausea, but the problem at the other end seems to have subsided, at least for the moment. Mind you, as we all know with chemotherapy, it won’t be long before it’s back.

Anyway, that’s your lot. I hope that tomorrow will be more exciting.