Sunday 13th November 2022 – AS I EXPECTED …

… not an awful lot happened today.

One of the housemen came round this morning to see me and asked me how I was feeling. I told him about all of my woes.

Even more importantly, I explained that I was disappointed that it seemed that the hospital was missing a golden opportunity in not giving me all kinds of examinations about the breathing issues.

He replied that the hospital was concentrating on the virus before dealing with anything else but I told him that I wished that I coud be so confident. I was rather sceptical on this point. I had a feeling that the hospital was going to discharge me once this virus has gone and they would miss a golden opportunity to settle the matter of my breathing once and for all.

One thing that I mentioned was that I wasn’t prepared to support any more of this “going round in circles”. With Waldenstrohm’s Disease there’s a timeline. No-one with this disease has survived more than 11 years and I’ve had it for at least 7 years. I made it perfectly clear that with only 4 years left at the most.

With the hospital having already wasted 18 months of what little time I have left and not resolved this issue I was not in the mood to have any more of my time wasted.

He told me that he’d made a note but I remain unconvinced.

A second incident worth noting was that i had another relapse today. I’ve moved my room around a little and spent most of the day sitting in my chair by the radiator. In the late afternoon I came over all cold and had to wrap up with mt fleece jacket and also a blanket across my knees.

The nurse took my temperature but there was no fever. But nevertheless I really was cold and I couldn’t wait to tuck myself up in bed.

But this morning was worth noting too. I was wide-awake at about 05:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep. In fact I was wide awake.

At the moment I’m not transcribing my dreams because my head isn’t in the right place, but I remember this one and this is the reason why i couldn’t go back to sleep.

What had happened was that during the dream I was in school taking my A Levels and having to write an essay on potatoes. A girl in the Remove or Lower Fifth, three or four years younger than me had been given a detention and was carrying it out in the room where I was doing my exam. She had long straight auburn hair and was wearing the school uniforn of a girl in the Remove back in the 0s and early 70d of white blouse, school tie, blue cardigan, short blue pleated skirt and white knee-length socks. We were chatting while we were working and apart from the fact that we lived in similar circumstances, in a rural council estate (me in Shavington, her in Wrenbury) I found her to be very intelligent with plenty of interesting things to say. She would have been the kind of girl with whom I would have been more than happy to be associated. It was another one of those dreams that gave me a pleasant, warm feeling just like that WORLESTON DREAM of several years ago and how I wished that it would never end until I’d finally managed to get my hands on this very nice and pleasant young girl.

No wonder that I couldn’t go back to sleep this morning with all of this going on in my head. It’s a shame that it had to end.

So right now I’m going to go back to sleep and try to have part two of this interesting dream in which I finally manage to get the girl. But I doubt it very much. If only things work out how we would like them to be but the subconscious isn’t like that, is it?

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